Notice: Function _load_textdomain_just_in_time was called incorrectly. Translation loading for the wordpress-seo domain was triggered too early. This is usually an indicator for some code in the plugin or theme running too early. Translations should be loaded at the init action or later. Please see Debugging in WordPress for more information. (This message was added in version 6.7.0.) in /home/bcm/src/dev/www/wp-includes/functions.php on line 6121
Zoom meeting | Zikoko!
  • 11 Things You Can Say on a Zoom Call and Also in the Bedroom

    We know you’re tired of endless Zoom meetings and work calls that could easily have been emails. So I’m, the next time someone says any of these things on a Zoom call you’re on, you can have a little chuckle knowing that they’re also probably saying this in the bedroom.

    1. “I think someone else is trying to join.”

    2. “Sorry, my service is bad.”

    3. “Same time next week?”

    4. “Oh, we’re done? That was fast.”

    5. “Is it better now?”

    6. “Can we record so we can watch this later?”

    QUIZ: How Dirty Is Your Mind?

    7. “This can only last 30 minutes unless it’s paid for.”

    8. “We need to round up now.”

    9. “Sounds good. Let’s do it.”

    10. “Let’s skip the formalities and get down to the basics.”

    11. “This could have been an email.”


    QUIZ: Only The Horniest Nigerians Can Complete 9/13 Of This Lyrics Quiz

  • 7 Things Everyone Says To Sound Serious On Work Calls

    *Unmutes mic*

    2020 has been a big year for online group work calls because of dear Miss Rona. If you were once excited about working from home, you’d soon realise that group video calls can become long and exhausting.

    For many of us, there are some go-to phrases for when you’re just going on cruise control. Here’s a few of them.

    1. “Nothing from me”

    What you actually mean: I wasn’t listening this whole time, but I’m sure nobody mentioned my name or said anything that was remotely related to me. I also don’t want this meeting to go on any longer, so yeah, nothing from me.

    2. “Have a great weekend everyone”

    What you actually mean: Yes! Finally. I’m tired of talking about the same shit every Friday. Can I sleep now?

    3. “Sounds good”

    You probably say this one just so people don’t say you didn’t contribute anything good to the meeting. “Sounds good” feels like casual, yet confident approval.

    4. “Yes, we can hear you”

    “Oya say what you want to say and let’s hear word”

    5. “I’ve been speaking for the past two minutes, I didn’t know I was muted”

    Oya say it again.

    6. *laughs*

    This one is for when your boss tells a joke and you want him to know that you think that apart from being your boss, he can also successfully have a career in comedy. (Also, sir that raise I’ve been asking for)

    7. “Yes, we can see your screen”

    We could see it all along. We saw when you closed the “Midget Asian Porn” tab on Pornhub. You fucking weirdo.


    [donation]

  • 8 Types People You’ll Find In A Nigerian Zoom Meeting

    Coronavirus has made Zoom meetings the new normal. It’s a complete change from physical meetings where everything you do is open to public scrutiny. Zoom meetings give you the liberty to do anyhow. And yes, people actually do anyhow.

    1. Those ones who always come late.

    Black People GIFs - Get the best GIF on GIPHY

    If it was a physical meeting, one might blame the latecoming on traffic. But it’s online and how can hold-up still catch you? Anyway, I’m on this table, so let me not expose myself too much. May God input in us the power of speed. Amen church?


    2. Those whose network is never good.

    Hello, can you hear me now? No, it’s breaking. Your voice is low. I can hear you. Hello? Hello? You know what, I’ll just type.


    3. The people who always forget to turn on or turn off their mic.

    Nwaoboshi, Mutu, Manager, others got NDDC contracts: Akpabio ...

    These ones eh. Once they join the meeting like this, they either forget to turn off their mic or turn it on. The turning off part is more common though. So while you’re there planning important things, you can hear every sound they make in their tiny corner of the universe.

    4. Those who forget they are sharing their screen and go on to expose themselves.

    Because that’s how they will switch to WhatsApp for web, forgetting that the whole office is witnessing their yansh being exposed.


    5. The ones who leave the meeting and return every five seconds only to finally leave and never return.

    Entering GIFs | Tenor

    Tunmise Ajayi joined the meeting. Tunmise Ajayi left the meeting. Tunmise Ajayi joined the meeting. Tunmise Ajayi left the meeting. Tunmise Ajayi joi—look, stay in one place.


    6. The ones who leave you people to be talking while they go about their life.

    Image

    Once they say their part of the matter, they just mute their mic and go on with their lives. Some of them will even go off to bed. This life.


    7. Those who carry on an entire conversation in the chatbox.

    Lewl. Chatterboxes. Even while a meeting is going on, they are holding their own anterior meeting in the comments section.


    8. The ones who will not even attend.

    Another missed meeting. They will make up for it another time.