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The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different Nigerian cities.
Derrick* shares his love of food with his partner by taking her on regular restaurant dates. In this article, he tells us they dealt with long distance in their relationship, their ritual Sunday dates and how Prisca helps him better with money.
What takes the most money in your relationship?
Food. I like food a lot, so we go to restaurants on most of our dates.
What’s the most you’ve spent on a restaurant date?
Our go-to restaurant is Circa, and we spend about ₦40k on our dinner dates.
Let’s take it back to how you two met
We met on the streets of WhatsApp in 2019. A mutual friend had posted Prisca’s picture, and I asked for her number and got it. But I waited for three months before I texted her.
Why?
I didn’t just feel like it at the time. I guess Prisca got tired of waiting because she texted our friend to tell her that I never reached out. When our mutual friend reached out to me, I decided to text Prisca.
Our conversations at the start were mainly one-word texts until one day when I shared a post about pain and how God comes through on my status. She responded to it, and that was the icebreaker. We started talking about scriptures, and from there, we became friends.
However, our new friendship was on and off. She’d disappear on me and reappear after a few months. This happened for the first time in July 2020. We didn’t speak until November when she reached out to tell me she’d gotten a job and was moving out of Lagos.
She went off in early 2021 again and we didn’t talk until July — I reached out this time to wish her a happy birthday.
All this time, did you guys meet?
Yes, we did. I’d visited her at her office twice when I was around the area. She’d also met me on two occasions at my uncle’s house, which was close to her place on the mainland.
In 2020, we went out on a friendship date to get Pizza i. But there were still COVID restrictions, and the restaurant wouldn’t let us in because we had only one facemask. We took turns wearing the mask to enter, place our order and then pay. We spent the rest of the afternoon under the sun, gisting and eating pizza.
So how did your friendship evolve into a relationship??
In November 2021, she came to Lagos to see me. During that visit, I asked her out because it was clear we had developed feelings. She said she needed time to think about it. Two weeks after, she said yes. She’d returned to Ilorin where she worked and lived though.
So you’re in a long-distance relationship?
We were, but she moved back to Lagos in July 2022. Then, we’d do video calls every night and travel to see each other at least once every four months. Sometimes she’d visit; other times, I would.
How were your Ilorin visits?
The place is dry, so there are not a lot of options. Still, every day after she closed from work, we’d drive to the mall or restaurant to buy food. The average budget for that is between ₦8k – ₦20k.
Interesting. What happens when she comes to Lagos?
I usually get her a dress and shoes, because she rarely travels with enough clothes.
We haven’t done these in a while even though even we both live in the same city. Between work and our busy schedules, we try to make room for a new experience we could try together. Sometimes, it’s movie night at home. Other times it could be playing games at night. We’ve also started this Sunday ritual where we visit a small restaurant. The average spend is about ₦10k – ₦15k.
How do you celebrate special occasions?
We don’t care much about Valentine’s, but we try to celebrate our birthdays together. For her birthday in 2022, I got her an Adidas shoe which cost about ₦32k, two cakes and gifted her ₦40k to complete her money for a wristwatch.
I also surprised her that day. She was out for her birthday dinner with her friends, and I showed up with the gifts I had gotten her.
Do you give her money?
Occasionally. One online trend told people to ask their partners for ₦100k, and that’s what she did. She asked me, and I sent it to her.
Odogwu! Do you have conversations about money?
Yes. When we started dating, I used to be so reckless with money and struggled with saving, but she helped me. I’d send her about ₦500k to hold for me every month. I still do it now.
So she’s better with money?
Definitely.
Do you have a financial safety net?
I have some shares which my dad left for me. And my savings is currently over ₦4m.
What’s your ideal financial future as a couple?
My long-term goal is to get my PhD and become a professor teaching people about tech or co-founding a startup. We will also start investing in real estate, stocks, and startups.
Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here
The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different Nigerian cities.
Mason* (24) and Kelly *(24) are a young couple trying to make money off the thing they love — music. In this week’s Love Currency, Mason shares how they met during a music business course, curating music playlists for each other and their plan to take over the music industry together.
What’s your love language?
It’s always been quality time. But having my girlfriend send me constant business opportunities has made me realise it’s also acts of service.
What type of opportunities?
She’s a music marketing personnel, so she usually takes me to events where I can network, and whenever she gets a talent to manage, she tries to bring me on board for the PR.
Oshey, power couple. How did you two meet?
I saw her speak at a friend’s event in 2021 and liked her immediately. Then, we met during an online music business course in September 2022. I needed help with an assignment, and she offered to help. From there, we started talking, but I tried to keep the relationship professional even though I already liked her.
Why?
We had met with work so I didn’t want to cross the line. But then she found me on Twitter. I had tweeted asking who was interested in reading something I’d written, and she replied. I sent it to her, and she loved it. She said it resonated with her.
What was it about?
It was a piece about depression. While everyone else had interpreted it as a cry for help, she understood that it was just for documentation.
I recently started giving her handwritten notes because she seems to prefer them. Whenever she isn’t feeling good, I write something for her to wake up to — words of affirmation. That’s her love language.
Aww. How did you go from friends to dating?
We had our graduation party at a hotel in December 2022. A group of us had gone to the beach from the event, and when we returned to the hotel, we decided to take a stroll. That was when she kissed me. We started dating in January 2023.
How did you celebrate Valentine’s Day 2023?
She had work that day, so we didn’t see till the following weekend when we went to the beach.
What about gifts?
She made me a playlist. We make playlists for each other depending on the other person’s mood and what we’re trying to say. I also got her a necklace and earrings that cost less than ₦3k, but she liked them.
How often do you go out?
She’s more social, so she’s always trying to drag me outside to meet people and network. I’m more reserved, so most of our outings are to the beach, alone or with our friends.
How much does this cost?
Anything from ₦10k – ₦20k, and either of us pays at different times. Sometimes, one person pays for transport while the other pays for tickets. We don’t really pay attention to these things. We almost had to fight before she finally sent me her account number because I wanted to repay her for the money she’d spent on one of our outings.
What’s the most you’ve spent on an outing?
I spent about ₦60k during a staycation one time. The plan was to stay at the hotel for two days, but we ended up staying for five. The room cost between ₦8k – ₦9k, but we spent a lot of money on The Place food. There were days when we spent ₦10k on food, but she chipped in sometimes.
Do you have conversations about money?
Yes, we do. We’re in the same industry, so sometimes, I help revise her marketing plan. She also helps me ensures I charge enough. She’s given me a target to start charging in dollars by the end of 2023.
Wawu. Do you know how much she earns though?
Not really. I have an idea, but I never bother to ask because I don’t think it’s important. I’m okay if she earns more than me because I know she’ll flex me with the money.
What do you mean?
She knows I like eating, so she’s always surprising me with food. I know she’s planning something for my birthday because she recently tweeted how a perfume she wanted to get was over ₦100k. I’ve told her she doesn’t have to do anything but she’s stubborn. That’s how she convinced me to start posting on TikTok. I started my fitness business towards the end of 2022, but I didn’t start creating content around it for TikTok until we started dating and she convinced me to. Now, I use it to redirect more people to my Instagram page where most of my business comes from.
Do you have a financial safety net?
Not right now. I’m currently using my savings to rent a self-con on the mainland, which costs ₦250k per year.
Not bad. If you see ₦400k now, how would you spend it?
I’d buy food so I can see road well. Then, I’d send my mother ₦50k, keep ₦100k for flex, give ₦50k to my babe and save ₦200k. I’m actually good at saving, but when you don’t make enough money, you have to save your life first.
FR
I’m currently searching for job at a record label that’d guarantee regular income.
What’s your ideal financial future as a couple?
I want to be one of the top PR professionals in the music industry, start my own brand, own a gym, maybe even try out song writing. But I can’t put a price to any of that.
What of Kelly?
She just launched her entertainment business recently. She’d want it to be one of the best in the world.
Does this mean you’d be competitors?
Not at all. If anything, we’d be partners. She’d get the clients, and I’d work on the PR plan for them, or I’d refer talents to her team.
Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here
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The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different Nigerian cities.
Image Source: Freepiks (Actual subjects are anonymous)
Omo* didn’t believe in same-age relationships when she met Femi in 2019 and pushed him into the friendzone. But that changed when she met him two years later in law school.
In this article, she talks about their NYSC year together in Ibadan and how they’ve moved from chicken republic to restaurant dates.
What’s the most memorable gift you’ve gotten your partner?
I got him an office bag in January. He’d mentioned that one of his job applications was going smoothly, so I bought him the bag, hoping he’d get the job. He got a different one, but he carried the bag everywhere.
Aww. What about him – does he get you gifts?
Yes. He goes all out on my birthdays. On my birthday eve last year, he paid for our train ticket to Lagos and booked a hotel for us. We ended up at the beach, and he got us food to eat. On the day of my birthday, he took me on a date to a fancy restaurant and gave me the most thoughtful birthday gift.
What was it?
It was a necklace with a little projector screen. If you opened a part facing a white wall, it’d display the words “I love you” in different languages. I’m always trying to learn new languages, so it was perfect.
I agree
From that moment, I kept thinking about how to outdo him for his birthday. But I was so freaked out about making it a great day that I ended up doing nothing.
OMO
I felt bad about it and promised to make it up to him. There’s always a lot of self-imposed pressure for me to do more than he does for me on special occasions. That’s why I’ve already told him to do something small this year. I need the bar to be low so I can surpass it.
But usually, I’m the type of person to buy him a gift on a regular weekday because I think it’s something he needs. For instance, I got him senator materials once; it cost about ₦11k. Then the sandals were ₦17k. I’d also surprised him with a wristwatch on his birthday during our service year in 2021, and it cost ₦15k.
That’s cute. How long have you been together?
Nearly two years. We were in our final year of uni when we met in 2019 and became friends. Before meeting him, I never saw myself dating someone the same age and was in the same class as me, but one kiss from him took him off the friend zone.
Interesting
One month after we kissed, we were practically in a relationship. We’d spent all our time together, talking and taking strolls to my hostel. But after I went home in October, I started reconsidering what we were doing.
What do you mean?
We’d soon be fresh graduates looking for how to navigate our lives. It didn’t make sense to be with someone at a similar point in their life. I didn’t know how to tell him, so I ghosted.
Ouch
I know it was a terrible thing to do, but I just didn’t know how to explain it to him.
When I was posted to Lagos for law school in January 2020, I started praying he’d be anywhere but Lagos. But he was.
The first day he saw me, he walked up and acted like nothing had happened. I think it was because he noticed I looked like I was trying to enter the ground.
I reached out to him the following week to ask if we could talk, and we did. He said he understood how I felt but was hurt by how I handled it because we were supposed to be friends.
Valid
Because I was the one who fucked up, I doubled down on the friendship. I was always reaching out to him and making plans to hang out together. I was even going to him with my relationship issues.
Sorry?
I had gotten into a relationship before law school. He was older than me, had a promising career and was good-looking — a spec.
But after reconnecting and building our friendship for four months, I realised I was more emotionally attached to Femi, so I ended that relationship.
Then you started dating?
It wasn’t until July 2021 before we discussed giving a relationship a chance. After law school, we ensured we were posted to the same place for NYSC, so we wouldn’t have to deal with long distance in the first year of our relationship. We ended up serving in Ibadan.
How was life in Ibadan?
It was simple —much slower than Lagos. There was also no traffic so we could spend more time together. We tried to go out at least twice a month and have fun on a budger — a ₦500 bike ride to an amusement park. We’d get drinks, ₦1200 shawarma and just chill.
I remember Christmas last year — he’d kept aside ₦30k for outings, but we only spent about ₦15k at the mall, even after playing all the arcade games and eating everything we wanted.
Could never be Lagos
We actually spent most of our time indoors. He’d visit me, and we’d order something from Chicken Republic, or I’d cook. Then we’d spend the day gisting, watching movies, and trying to connect to our inner Gen Z by doing TikToks.
Did it work?
We failed woefully. We’re old people at heart, please.
LOL. How much were you guys earning?
My combined income was ₦66k: my PPA paid ₦13k plus the ₦33k allawee and ₦20k monthly allowance my mum sent. I also started making money from my sewing business — ₦5k here, ₦6k there. As for Femi, he was getting ₦20k at his PPA, the regular ₦33k. He occasionally got about ₦50k – ₦80k from his side hustle doing assignments for master’s students. But it wasn’t frequent, so we were doing broke love.
Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here
Screamingg. How have things changed now?
We have better-paying jobs and a rule of going out once a week. The place we go to is chosen alternatively, and whoever is in charge of that week will cover the outing cost.
What’s the most money you’ve spent?
₦6k. I mostly opt for traditional restaurants or amala joints where we can eat.
Who’s better with money?
Me! This man is always quick to spend money on me while I have to budget. I’m very meticulous with all areas of my life, and finance is part of it. I follow a budgeting rule for my expenses.
Smart money FR
That’s me! I like planning. I’ve even tried to create a sheet to help Femi track his spending, but he keeps talking about how most of his expenses are unplanned. Sometimes he’s broke few weeks after receiving salary, but somehow, he finds a way to manage. If I tried to live that life, I’d end up under a bridge.
LMAO
Did I add that he put me on a monthly allowance? He started with ₦5k during NYSC and now adds ₦5k here, ₦10k there. Omo, maybe he’s better with managing money and I’m just good at accounting.
Do you have a financial safety net?
I’m trying to build one. I take aside ₦130k from my ₦260k salary every month. I send ₦50k as part of my repayment plan for the ₦500k my mum loaned me when I wanted to get my place. Another ₦50k is for next year’s rent, and the ₦30k is the proper savings. I have about ₦180k currently in my savings.
And your boyfriend?
We’re working on it. He currently earns less than me and his side hustle has been pretty slow, so he’s going on vibes and inshallah.
What is your ideal financial future as a couple?
I want us to have invested our money in things with appreciation value. I think he wants us to travel for vacations. We don’t have any joint savings now, but I’d also like the wedding fund sorted.
Wedding fund?
Yes, spare money I’m gathering to put into my wedding. I saw it in a movie where the character was trying to save for her dream wedding; I don’t have a dream wedding — I just want something small, so I started it as a joke, but now I have about ₦40k.
The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different Nigerian cities.
Image Source: Pexels (Actual interview subjects are anonymous)
20-year-old Kabir is an NYSC member who believes in expressing love through gifts. In this interview, he talks about his money anxieties, moving from “Fanta and meat pie” dates to proper restaurant outings and exploring sex with multiple partners in his open relationship.
Occupation and location
A freelance writer serving with the NYSC in Jos.
Average monthly income
I get a ₦30k allowance from my dad and ₦33k from the government. My PPA pays me ₦10k, and I make the occasional ₦20k on small writing gigs.
Relationship expenses
Birthday gifts: ₦25 – 35k
Transportation to Abuja: ₦7k monthly
How did you meet your partner?
Through my secondary school bestie who was dating him.
Hollup
It was sometime in July 2019. I was with my friend at his house when he said Allen, his boyfriend, was coming over and suggested I wait to meet him. The three of us spent the rest of the day gisting and walking around the estate.
Allen was not as expressive as my best friend wanted, which led to quarrels that led to a three-month breakup, with me playing mediator the whole time. After they got back together, my best friend created a group chat with all three of us, and that’s how I got Allen’s phone number.
Tell me you didn’t?
LMAO. No jo. We only texted because he posted this fine 10/10 man on his status. I asked who he was, and he replied that it was his cousin. We bantered about how they were fine in their family.
Talking to him, I felt horrible because we had a genuine connection. Although he and my friend broke up two months later, it took a year in talking stage, bonding over shared trauma, before we started dating.
What shared trauma?
We were healing from the relationship with my best friend. Making new friends when I got into university later that year helped me realise how toxic the friendship was. He always made me feel less, made fun of my work and gaslighted me every chance he got. So when he sent me a long-ass paragraph about how I didn’t text, I told him we couldn’t be friends anymore because I was tired of reducing myself.
How did it go with Allen after that?
I was schooling and living in Osun state, while Allen lived in Abuja. So we only saw each other when I was in Abuja. We went to the park once, but most of our dates were at the cinema. He’d pay ₦3k for both our tickets sometimes, other times I got my own ticket. And we’d get snacks — meat pie and Fanta after.
Cute
He was a graduate in his mid-20s, and I thought he was very tight-fisted at the time. My dad had money, so it’s not like I wanted his. I just couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t allow himself to enjoy small luxuries like using Uber instead of public transport or changing his phone instead of continuously fixing it.
But later, I realised he was only like that because he was unemployed and broke.
What’s changed now?
We go on dates to fancy restaurants, drink wine and eat Indian food. Both times we’ve done this, it cost ₦50k. He’s also very thoughtful and buys me things I like. For my birthday in 2020, he bought me a pair of Chelsea boots, perfumes and pringles. Last year, he got me scented candles, a diffuser, two perfumes, a planner, a tote bag and kilishi. He also got me an Apple watch a few months prior.
What about 2021?
Oh, we’d broken up for six months.
Sorry?
I already knew he wasn’t the most expressive. But between being unemployed and living at an aunt’s place, he was going through a lot, which affected us even more. It didn’t help that I was in Osun state. At the beginning of 2021, I sent a text telling him I didn’t think he was reciprocating my energy, nor did I feel loved. He called me upset because he couldn’t believe I thought that.
The following day, I burst into tears in the middle of prayers with my family and ran out of the mosque. My brother had to come check on me. I told him what had happened, and he advised me to keep the friendship since Allen obviously meant so much to me.
So I called Allen back some days later, and we went back to talking every day and just being close friends. By mid-2021, when I was going through a lot mentally, I leaned on him a lot. And he’d also just gotten an engineering job that paid him ₦75k monthly. At some point, the relationship started again.
I need the deets
When I returned to Abuja, we agreed to meet up. He had a place, and I went there to see him. It started with casual talk about life then moved to intense talk about what we meant to each other and our lives together.
Do you have conversations about money?
All the time. He’s the more financially literate, so he knows all about the stocks and bonds market. While I save my regular ₦10 – 15k, he has stocks with a telecommunication company in Nigeria and some his dad left him when he passed. He mentioned in July 2022 that he wanted to get me stocks, but due to the fall in the stock market, he hasn’t gotten around to it.
Do you ever ask him for money?
I can ask him if I don’t have, but I’d hate to make it a habit. I could say I don’t have money, and he’d send me ₦5 – 10k.
Do you get him gifts?
For his birthday, I got him a gold bracelet which cost ₦20k, and a wireless charger which cost ₦35k. Sometimes, he reminds me that I don’t have to do so much because he knows how much I earn. But I believe in expressing my feelings through gifts, so if I see something I think he’ll like, I get it. For instance, his watch strap is bad, so I want to get him a new one.
That’s sweet
We’ve both grown so much together. He’s gone from not having a job to getting one that takes him on international trips. And I’ve allowed myself to love someone enough to be vulnerable with them. I grew up with a misogynist father, and I was always against commitment because I didn’t want to be caged.
What changed?
We’ve worked hard at communicating our feelings better. He makes me feel cared for and listened to. I also made sure to leave the relationship open. Although sex is not that deep to me, being able to experience it with other people makes commitment feel less like a cage. Because I don’t think being in a relationship with one person means sexual urges or desires will shut down. It’s easy for me to separate sex from emotional connections. So I may hook up with people I meet on Twitter, but it’s nothing serious. Allen and I ensure we never get involved without the other person knowing.
In September 2022, my now ex-best friend, Allen’s ex, called him trying to come over to his place, but he told him his baby was coming over. And then revealed who the baby was.
OMO. How did he take it?
I don’t know. I never reached out. We’d cut all communication, so I didn’t see the need to tell him.
True. What’s your ideal financial future?
I like nice things but we’re not flashy people. We just want to be able to afford things we want, buy a house, and go on vacation maybe twice a year. Allen’s career has already taken off and is doing quite well, hopefully, after NYSC I’ll get a good writing job that pays well.
Do you have a financial safety net?
I try to save a lot because I’m very anxious about money, and poverty scares me. I want to be able to fund the life of comfort I grew up with by myself. So whenever I get my allowance or money gifts, I keep a portion of it aside. I have about ₦300k in my Piggyvest safe lock.
The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different Nigerian cities.
Image Source: Freepik
Oge (33) met Ugo (31) on Twitter in 2021. Two years and 30+ love emails later, they’re engaged and planning their future together on a combined income of ₦280k.
Occupation and location
Admin officer living in Lagos
Monthly income
I earn ₦80k.
Monthly and recurring relationship expenses
2022 birthday gifts: ₦20k
2023 birthday gifts: ₦30k
Occasional dates: ₦10 – 15k
Ajo savings: ₦30 – 40k
How did you meet your boyfriend?
We were Twitter mutuals who occasionally interacted on each other’s tweets. He’s a dietician, so one day in March 2021, he made a post about losing weight. I commented asking why he never talked about people trying to gain weight. He asked me to send a DM. I did and after a consultation, he gave me a meal plan.
For free?
He charges ₦15k for that but asked me to pay ₦5k because we were mutuals. I paid ₦3k upfront and planned to pay the ₦2k balance as time went on, but I never did. I also didn’t have time or money to afford the diet. Every time he followed up on my progress, I gave him an excuse for not starting yet.
He reached out to me about once a week for a month. So when I didn’t hear from him for two weeks, I decided to check up on him. He explained that he was busy, and I joked about him needing pampering. He asked if I was willing to take up the job. I said only if he applied via email. And that was the beginning of our cute emails to each other. They were random emails we sent to apologise, resolve arguments and express love.
I was a bit concerned he was almost three years younger than me, but that was easily forgotten as I got to know him. We started dating by the end of June.
How do you feel about the age gap now?
Apart from the bants — I joke that he doesn’t have respect for his elders while he tells me I’m an agbaya — the age gap is insignifcant and we respect each other.. Although, I try to ask occasionally if there are times he felt like I disrespected him because I’m older.
I’ve learnt to be expressive and intentional because of how open and accountable he is. He tells me everything, from how much comes into his account to what his coworkers did at work. It’s how we were able to cope when I was in Ghana.
Ghana keh?
I got a job as an admin officer at my uncle’s construction firm in Ghana just a month after we started dating, and I had to move.
How was life in Ghana?
It was actually pretty good. I was earning GH₵2k (₦160 – 180k depending on the exchange rate at the time of conversion). I lived in my uncle’s house and the company covered most of the transportation cost. I also bought perfumes from Nigeria to sell there.
Why did you come back to Nigeria?
I came to visit in September 2022, but someone I’d worked with previously reached out to me to help her oversee her business because she’d relocated. My uncle’s construction project had ended, so I decided to extend my stay in Lagos. I met my boyfriend’s family the following month.
Formal introduction?
Sort of. He met my mum and dad, and I met his as well. They already knew about me, but when I met them, there was a lot of scrutiny about my age. You know how the typical Nigerian thinks when a woman is past 30, it’s harder for her to conceive and impossible for her to be submissive when she’s older than you. None of those stopped Ugo from proposing in January though.
It was a flop. He knows I hate public proposals, so he was planning a surprise at the beach with about three of my friends. Weeks before the day, his mum called me to ask about the engagement and why we chose the beach.
OMG
I was with him, so he heard the conversation and was livid. The day he actually proposed, it was via email. We had an argument earlier in the day and were barely speaking. I went to bed pretty upset with him, but when I woke up hours later in the night, I saw he’d sent messages to my phone asking me to check my email. We spent the night reading all the emails we’d sent to each other since we met, and the last one was him apologising and if I wanted to marry him, I should reply with a “Yes”. I did.
Do you have conversations about money?
Since 2021, when he was earning ₦80k, till now that he earns ₦200k, he’s been transparent about how much money comes in, goes out, and how much he saves. He knows how much I earn and I save too. We’re both part of an ajo. We save ₦30k each, and I try to save up to ₦40k in some months.
From your ₦80k salary?
It’s hard, but I try to stay within budget. I cook all my meals, and I don’t buy things for myself as often. I stay in my apartment most of the time, so I don’t spend a lot on transport.
How much money goes into the relationship?
We don’t really go out. Except for family events and church programmes, we’ve gone on about two dates at a restaurant under ₦15k. But the picnic date we had at the beach cost well over ₦20k because we bought snacks, drinks and fruits. I usually prefer we cook, watch movies and just gist indoors instead of eating out. Most of the money we spend is on gifts.
How often do you give each other gifts?
For his 30th birthday in January 2022, I got him a bracelet and a watch. I also got him a cake because he said he’d never gotten one. Everything was about ₦20k. I was still in Ghana during Valentine, so he sent a wig and dress through my mum who was coming to see me. He also randomly gets me bracelets, earrings, shoes or whatever he thinks I’d like when he sees them.
That’s sweet
This year, I made a traditional outfit for him with slides to match for his birthday. I got the material from the market myself and made an ankara gift box, so everything cost about ₦30k.
I also got him two t-shirts, bracelets, a chopping block and wooden spoon set on my way from Ghana.
Do you have a financial safety net?
I saved a lot during my year in Ghana, so I have about ₦300k in my fixed deposit account.
What’s your ideal financial future as a couple?
Asides his practice as a dietician, Ugo has a packaged date palm business. We’re hoping to expand distribution to supermarkets after he gets it registered with NAFDAC. I also plan to quit my current job in March, so I’m looking to get a better paying job, probably one remote as a virtual assistant. We’re praying and hoping something good happens because we can’t possibly start a family on our current income.
If you’re interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship, this is a good place to start.
The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different Nigerian cities.
From a student’s first Valentine with his girlfriend to the long-distance married couple and the writer receiving gifts from three different partners, this special #LoveCurrency edition explores the cost of Valentine’s Day for Nigerians in different types of relationships.
Product designer living in Lagos on a ₦400k salary
How did you meet your boyfriend?
We were in our third year working on a group project, and he asked to get a recording I’d made during the class. I was in a relationship at the time, and he was breaking off his relationship. By our final year, we’d become close friends who talked and hung out. Since we were both single, we started dating in 2018.
How do you celebrate Valentine’s Day?
Between our busy schedules and Lagos traffic, we spend most Valentine’s Days at home. I don’t even remember it’s a special day, but sometimes, he buys me gifts.
Do you have a memorable one?
In 2021, we had a car movie date. We usually do this once a month, so for February, we used Valentine’s Day. We went to Ikeja City Mall to buy snacks, chose the two to three movies we’d see in sequence and set up his laptop in the car outside his house, while we snuggled up in the backseat.
He also got me a ring light and make-up — foundation, lip gloss, powder and eyeshadow pallet, all Maybelline products — because he knew I’d been saving their posts on IG.
Did you get him anything?
I sent a small chops tray to his office with a note asking him to be my Valentine. I also got him these Chelsea boots I saw he’d bookmarked on his Twitter. Everything cost about ₦35 – 40k.
How much were you making at the time?
I worked as an account manager, and my monthly income was between ₦150 – 250k, commissions included.
University student schooling in Kaduna on a ₦25k+ income
How did you meet your girlfriend?
Our parents knew each other, and we attended the same church. I always thought she was pretty, but I didn’t know how to approach her. Towards the end of 2018, I sent her a friend request on Facebook. We didn’t start chatting until April 2019.
In the three months that followed, we texted and talked over the phone a lot. I could tell she liked me as much as I liked her, so I asked her out in August, and she said yes.
Tell me about your most memorable Valentine’s Day with her
We’ve never really celebrated Valentine. I get her gifts, but because we were in different boarding houses when we were in secondary school, we didn’t see each other till the holidays.
What gifts have you gotten her over the years?
In 2021, I got her a bracelet, rings, perfume and necklace set for about ₦5k. In 2022, I got her four teddy bears — one big one and three small ones. They cost about ₦10k in total. This will be our first Valentine together physically. We’ve both graduated from secondary school, so I’m hoping this year is really special. I got her a Valentine package with flowers, cake, wine, card, bracelet and a customised mug. It cost ₦25k. I’m also planning to take her on a date.
How can you afford gifts?
I work at my mum’s farm, and she pays me ₦1- 2k per day, but it’s not consistent. I also trade forex and give my friend money to place bets for me. He enjoys betting, and he’s good at it. Last week, I gave him ₦20k; he won ₦46k, which is what I’m spending on this Valentine.
Writer living in Osun State on a ₦200k salary
How did you meet your partner?
I met my main partner on Twitter in January 2020. We were both in relationships then, but we spent a lot of time talking to each other. So we got together in July 2020, when our relationships ended.
I met my second partner in November 2021, at a university party, and we hit it off. We weren’t in a defined relationship, but we were together. I met someone else on social media, sometime around December. I had a work event, and I had to reach out to her about it. After the event, we stayed in contact. We didn’t date but we liked each other.
How do you celebrate Valentine’s Day with them?
In 2022, I told them I didn’t want to celebrate it, but I got a charger for my third partner because she’d been saying she needed one. That cost about ₦8500. My first partner got me a really cute dress, the second one got me lunch of about ₦7 – 9k, and my third partner gave me a foot and back massage and we also got ice cream for about ₦5k.
God, when? What are your plans for this Valentine?
I’m actually single for the first time in a while. So, I’ll just spend the day working and watching movies with my ex.
Ex?
The first partner. We broke up some months ago but we’re still pretty close, so why not?
Content creator living in Lagos on a ₦250k salary
How did you meet your partner?
We met at a friend’s beach party in October 2021 and exchanged IG handles and followed each other. But we didn’t really talk till January 2022 when he replied to a story I posted about taking 17 shots. By January 22nd, he asked me out on a date. We went to Rufus and Bees some days after, and from there, we started going out.
When did it become official?
February 27th. The plan was to spend the weekend at a hotel in Ikeja, so we stopped to buy food — he got me my favourite cheesecake. And when we got to the hotel, he asked me to be his girlfriend.
So this is your first Valentine together?
Sort of. Even though we weren’t dating till a week after Valentine, we still exchanged gifts. He got me a romper — I love rompers. I got him a wallet, two-piece co-ord and a man purse, all for about ₦30k. This time, we agreed not to do too much because our anniversary is in two week’s time. My budget for that is about ₦50k. I want to get him one of those gift boxes with shoes in them. But for Valentine’s Day, I got him brownies and a pair of sneakers, which cost about ₦23k. I don’t know what his plans are, but I already got my first gift from him on Sunday — a pair of sneakers.
Executive and HR assistant on a ₦150k salary
How did you meet your partner?
On my birthday in November 2015, a friend of mine posted my picture on BBM. He saw it and fell in love.
FR?
LOL, just kidding. He asked for my BBM pin and we started talking. I wasn’t looking for anything serious because I’d just gotten out of a relationship while he was dealing with an ex. But during one of our midnight calls in March 2016, I asked the “What are we?” question and we agreed it made sense to make it official since everyone already thought we were dating.
And what were you?
A long-distance couple. We were schooling in different universities and even when we were both back to Lagos, he lives in Surulere, while I live in Ibeju-Lekki. But it was still better than him abandoning me in the trenches. In 2018, he went to Canada for his master’s degree.
That’s a heck of a distance
It was. We were barely speaking. Between school, work and the time difference, there was no time When we did speak, it couldn’t be for long. We started to have arguments and eventually, I told him he had to make me a priority too. Communication started to improve after that.
When he finished his master’s, he had more time.
Good
Our relationship took a new turn once he got back. He returned in October 2019 for his sister’s wedding, and visited my dad to introduce himself. I realised he was serious about me.
But when he asked me to marry him in March 2021, I was both scared, nervous and excited. I knew I wanted to marry him, but I just didn’t think I’d get married at 24.
Valid concern
My plan had been to go to Canada for masters, but then it kept taking time because the money wasn’t forthcoming. His plan was for us to get married so he could start processing my spousal visa. So he came back to Nigeria in December 2021 for the wedding.
How do you celebrate special occasions?
He usually sends money, anything between ₦100 – 200k. But for Valentine in 2022, he sent money to my friend and they got food from my favourite restaurant, chocolates, and drinks.
Do you gift him?
I buy him things I think he likes — clothes and jewellery, and either wait till he comes or send it through someone travelling to Canada. Last time I sent a gift was in September 2022. Everything I got was about ₦50k.
Do you have plans for this Valentine?
We honestly don’t go crazy for Valentine. I’m going to work, then coming back home to sleep. I’ve gotten him some t-shirts that cost about ₦20k, but I’ll add some things to them as time goes on.
Media executive living in the UK
How did you meet your partner?
We met on Twitter in November 2018. I asked people what they wanted before the end of the year and he said a date with me. He slid into my DM and we fixed a date but then I didn’t hear from him till weeks later. He apologised and said he was busy with work and wanted us to reschedule.
Did you?
The next time we met was at a mutual friend’s dinner, a few months later. After the dinner, we started talking more on Twitter and hanging out after work. We bonded over Game of Thrones and pedicures. We also had a lot of common beliefs and by lockdown, we were already dating and spent a lot of time together.
When did you start talking about money?
During lockdown, when we were staying together, we used to pull our finances together to buy things.
How do you celebrate special occasions?
We buy gifts for each other regularly, and the more we grow, the more money we have and the higher the quality of gifts. For Valentine in 2021, he got me wine, chocolate and flowers. While in 2022, he got me a camera.
What are your plans for this year?
I got him some gifts. Nike gear, sneakers, loungewear, a backpack, body massager and some other things. They cost about £500. I don’t know what he got me, but he said he spent £1k. We’re going to see a movie on Friday night and a mani-pedi date on Saturday, but for Valentine’s Day itself, we’d probably just sit home and drink wine.
If you’re interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship, this is a good place to start.
The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different Nigerian cities.
Image Source: Freepik
After losing a marketing job in Lagos, 30-year-old Chidi moved to Port Harcourt. Five years later, he’s managing a ₦40k teaching job, zero savings, ₦300k debt and a supportive girlfriend who believes his hard work will pay off some day.
Occupation and location
Secondary school teacher living in Port Harcourt.
Monthly income
My salary is ₦40k. But I get between ₦20 – 65k from home lessons. It’s not consistent.
Monthly and recurring relationship expenses
Girlfriend’s birthday: ₦5k each in 2021 and 2022
Miscellaneous: ₦5 – 10k whenever she asks
How did you meet your girlfriend?
She was a beautiful youth corper serving in the secondary school where I taught in 2021. I didn’t think anything would happen between us because I’m Igbo and she’s Yoruba. But one month after we met, we started dating.
How?
Her ex is Igbo, so she didn’t mind dating outside her tribe. And she admired that I was willing to start from somewhere and put in the work, unlike her ex who was unemployed and waiting for an oil company job.
Was that your first job?
No. I had one marketing job in Lagos in 2016. The pay was supposed to be ₦20k for three months before you start earning solely off commissions, but throughout my time on the job, I didn’t get one naira.
You say?
After six months of roaming the streets of Lagos looking for who’ll buy insurance, my brother asked me to stop. I was living with him, and he was paying my transport fare. Some days, they’d ask us to report to their office at Ajah, and my house was in Surulere.
I was 28 years old surviving off random ₦2ks and ₦3ks my sister gave me when I visited her house. I also held on to change from running errands for my brother. That was at most ₦5k a month. Some days, my bet would click, and I’d win big. One time, I used ₦200 to win ₦200k.
How did you spend the money?
I bought a new phone with ₦30k, then I gave my sister over ₦10k for clothes and used about ₦10k for my transport. The rest of the money went to family members and helping with some bills in the house, since I still lived with my brother.
What happened after you quit your job?
I spent a year at home job-hunting. Even though my brother always tells me not to let my grades define me, getting a job with my third-class degree wasn’t easy. So in 2018, when my best friend from university called me to come to Port Harcourt because he thought I had a better chance of getting a job there, I agreed. I know ₦40k is not much but it’s better than sitting home doing nothing. After my first term teaching at the school, I started taking private lessons.
How’s that going?
At first, it wasn’t consistent, and the pay was around ₦20 – 30k. Now, I make ₦65k from two students and get referrals from parents. In 2022, I even got my own place for ₦150k a year. I want my babe to feel comfortable when she comes over.
How does it go when she visits?
We gist, watch movies, and sometimes, she buys foodstuff to cook. Other times, she eats Indomie, cornflakes or whatever I have available.
What does she do?
She’s a fine arts teacher and earns ₦55k for it.
Do you ever give her money?
I don’t give her an allowance, but when she doesn’t have money, I can send ₦5k – 10k. In a month, the most I spend on her needs is ₦10k.
What about gifts on special occasions?
We didn’t do anything for Valentine’s in 2022, but I want to get her a gift this year. My budget is ₦5 – 10k. Our birthdays are both in December, which is also when my rent is due. So I just sent her ₦5k for her last birthday, while she got me a perfume. I also sent her ₦5k for her birthday in 2021, but that was because I was in debt to different loan sharks.
How come?
I started borrowing during COVID. Schools were not in session and only the subjects that didn’t involve calculations — English, Social Studies, Civic Education were included in the online plan. Since I taught mathematics, technical drawing and Physical Education, I wasn’t working or making any money.
I was ready to return to Lagos, but my brother didn’t think it was the best for me.
After I exhausted my savings, he sent me the occasional ₦5k or ₦10k. My friend from work, an older married woman, also gave me and my roommate some foodstuffs. But I still needed money to help with upkeep, food and data, so I turned to loan organisations.
No savings?
With the high cost of living in this country, it’s impossible to save. I tried to in 2019, but when the COVID lockdown started, I had to dip into my ₦50k+ savings. Whatever money I get now is to survive.
I started by borrowing ₦10k to repay ₦13k. Then I borrowed from another loan company to meet the payment deadline. Sometimes, my three younger siblings would call to ask me for money — two are in school — and I can’t say I don’t have. I’d have to send ₦3 – 5k. I was also sending my mum ₦10k, but it wasn’t consistent. In two years, I’ve used over 15 different loan sites, and I’m still owing them a cumulative of ₦300k.
How do you plan to pay?
In December, the government announced that those loan sharks were illegal, so I’m not paying. I used to be scared of their threats, but now, I’m a comrade. I’ve cancelled borrowing sha. I’m trying to leave this school and look for a better-paying job. If I can find a school that’ll pay ₦150k, that’d be great.
Do you have a financial safety net?
If something happens and I need money, I’ll try family then friends. After that, na God hand I dey.
Fair. Does your girlfriend save?
Maybe. On my birthday in 2021, she surprised me with a cake, small chops, food, wine, Hollandia and even shortbread cookies. That must’ve cost a lot of money even with her ₦33k allawee and ₦10k salary from the school.
What’s your ideal financial future as a couple?
My babe and I are trying to work on our finances. Her uncle wants to get her a state job that comes with accommodation and a salary of over ₦100k. When she gets it, we can start saving together, maybe in a joint account.
How do you feel about her earning more than you?
I don’t feel intimidated by that. Even if we get married and she earns ₦1m while I earn ₦200k, I’d still be happy for her. It’d be nice to have a solid support system. She’d pay for things like foodstuff, and I’ll handle rent.
Nice
I don’t plan to be a teacher forever. The future is tech, so I want to learn to program. I could learn online or from my babe’s brother-in-law who’s offered to teach me. I just haven’t gotten money for a laptop yet. My brother also promises to teach me forex once he finishes learning this year.
If you’re interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship, this is a good place to start.
The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different Nigerian cities.
Image Source: Unsplash
Peace*, at 23 years old, is working two jobs, saving more than half her salary and planning her relocation to the UK. In this #LoveCurrency, she talks about saving since she was 10, getting back together with her ex after a year and her father’s disapproval of marrying at a young age
Occupation and location
Medical Lab Scientist living in Port Harcourt.
Monthly income
I currently earn ₦249k monthly. ₦150k from my main job, and ₦99k from my internship.
Monthly bills and recurring expenses
Data: ₦12k
Transport: ₦16k. Twice a month, she spends an average of ₦8k per trip to and from Warri, Delta state, where she works.
Snacks: ₦10k on random cravings
Tithe: ₦24,900
Savings: ₦150k total. ₦100k from ₦150k salary, ₦50k from ₦99k salary.
She doesn’t pay rent because she lives with her parents.
How do you have two jobs?
Technically, I have one job and housemanship that I’m ghosting. It’s at a government hospital, and I barely go there. But I work at a private school health company in Warri. I’m there for two weeks every month.
Does that affect your relationship?
Not at all. The work is not time-consuming, so my boyfriend and I text, talk over the phone and send snaps whenever I’m away.
Nice. How did you meet?
You know how you have a cool friend you enjoy talking to online but have never met? That was Tobi in 2015. We had just graduated from secondary school, he claimed to know me from school. Our schools were close to each other, and I’d also heard of him. So we became Facebook friends. We moved to WhatsApp some months after but made no plans to see each other. He had a girlfriend at the time, and I liked him as a friend anyways.
What changed?
We were always talking on and off, but then one day in 2018, he called to check up on me, and we spoke for about two hours about general life and school — he’d moved to Cyprus for university. Our communication became stable after that; we would have long calls, texts, and send each other snaps.
In 2019, he asked me out, and I agreed. But then, I messed up, and the relationship ended a year later.
Ahh. What did you do?
I had a “fling” with someone else and told him about it. This was in February 2020. I liked him, but my head wasn’t in the relationship. He was schooling outside Nigeria, while I was in Nigeria, unsure of when he’d return. We’d started the relationship long-distance, and it didn’t seem like a good decision anymore.
After the confession, we decided to break up. Our conversations slowed down, and we’d stopped talking completely by July. That’s why I wasn’t expecting the snap I got from him in December.
What was in the snap?
He sent his location, which showed Port Harcourt. Even though I was very excited he was around, I didn’t expect him to want to see me. But in February 2021, he texted me, and we met at a lounge. It was my life’s best date.
Why?
Finally meeting him in person was amazing. The conversation was great, he made snaps of us, and we held hands. He also sent me a sweet text later in the evening saying it was the best and most affordable date he’d been on.
How affordable was this date?
I’m not sure because I didn’t pay. And I had a date with my friends later, so I didn’t want to eat. We had wine and small chops or peppered chicken — I can’t remember.
Then we saw each other again in March. I went to see him at the hotel he was staying, and we spent the weekend together.
That sounds nice
Lol. Me that went there with my books. I had my final year exam that Monday, and man was not going to be why I failed.
LMAO
Tobi is the type of person who just enjoys having you in his space. He didn’t mind that I was reading. He made sure I was comfortable and showered me with food. From rice to parfait, chocolates and ice cream. I don’t know how much those cost, but the hotel was at least ₦20k per night, and we stayed for two nights.
That must’ve been nice
It was. He was back in Nigeria because he’d graduated, so we went back to normal talking. A few months later, I started distancing myself from him to figure out what was happening since we weren’t dating. I didn’t talk to him or any other guy and just prayed for God to direct me. He texted me in May confessing his feelings for me and wanting us to get together.
See God
His birthday fell on the same day as my seminar defence, so I was busy. But I got him a cake and made a trad set for him. It was a bit tight, so he never wore it. Everything was about ₦50k.
Things were smooth until our near-breakup in March 2022, just after my birthday.
You say?
I had been on my shift that week, so I got home to see that he’d sent this huge cake, two lovely slippers and a food tray — I was really happy.
I don’t know what was wrong with me, but when I called the next day, I accused him of not allowing my picture stay 24 hours on his status.
God, abeg
Omo, he was so furious. For the two weeks that followed, communication was very passive-aggressive. We had plenty of quarrels; one was about the guy responsible for our first break-up.
I was worried my friends were already getting placement for their housemanship and I wasn’t. I tried to speak to him about it, but he was still barely talking to me, so he didn’t care. I reached out to the other guy because we were friends, and he had a connect who got me a placement at a government hospital.
When he found out, he was even more upset that not only did I still talk to the guy, I’d gotten a job through him.
Well
It was a whole thing. I ended up deleting the guy’s number for my peace, TBH. And then, he confided in my friend who called me later to explain that he was hurt. He’d cleared his account to get me gifts, and I was picking a fight over WhatsApp status.
When we talked about it, I told him I didn’t think he’d be upset about something I said jokingly, and I’d prefer to hear how he was feeling from him rather than a third party. He said he believed I knew why he was upset, so he didn’t want to spell it out. I told him that if we didn’t break up after that, we can’t break up again.
Then he got an offer to manage his friend’s business in Ghana, so he moved there. In April, my iPhone 11 Pro Max arrived and a gold chain weeks later. He’d literally gotten everything on my wishlist.
God, when? How does one even top that?
You don’t. I got him a football jersey he wanted — it was about ₦65k — and some skincare products which cost ₦13,500.
Not bad
In September 2022, he asked me to visit him in Ghana. I told him I couldn’t go until he asked my mum. My mum knew about him because she’d heard my sister and uncle joke about him. She also met him during my induction in September 2021, but you know Nigerian mothers. She said she read a WhatsApp BC where a man murdered his wife during a trip to Ghana. It took plenty of begging and convincing from my sister and uncle before she agreed.
LOL
I spent about eight days in Ghana, and it was so much fun. We went to a spa on the second day, hung out with his friends the day after and went for dinner on the fourth day. We went to the beach, went bowling, did karaoke, visited a botanical garden and got kente material from their market. We also went to the mall too many times to count.
Who paid for this thing?
He did. He said he’d been saving up for a while for the trip.
Do you have any idea how much he earns?
Nope. I can tell when he has money though, because whenever he doesn’t, he gets cranky.
Don’t we all?
He trades crypto in addition to the business in Ghana, so he tells me when his deals are successful. Some days, it’s ₦50k, others, ₦500k. I assume for someone to spend over ₦1m on a trip, which is what I estimated he spent, he’d have up to ₦4m more. Or at least, that’s how it works for me. I save more than I spend.
Does he know how much you earn?
Yes, he saw my alert one day during the trip. I usually never admit I have money. I learnt that from my mum.
LOL
Growing up, she taught me that you don’t need to spend all the money you have. You have to keep a portion aside. From when I was ten years old, I used to keep some part of whatever money I was gifted in a pink purse she gave me. Even though I kept the purse in her room, I remember sneaking out random ₦200s and ₦300s to give my uncle who lived with us then. He promised to buy me a car when I was in university.
Screaming
I know Tobi has savings in dollars, cryptocurrency, and also invests in gold. I like not knowing how much he earns because I don’t want to get greedy or worry about how he spends his money.
Has this happened before?
Yes. When he returned to Port Harcourt in December 2022, he splurged on clothes, a ps5, a hotel room and outings. We went on two dates — one with his friend and his girlfriend and another with my friend and her husband. The double date with my friend cost about ₦40k in total. Tobi covered it after a tussle with the husband, who also wanted to pick the tab. With his friend, it was about ₦70k. He picked that up too, but the friend said he’d reimburse him. I don’t know how that ended, TBH. He wanted to enjoy December, so I get it.
After he got to Ghana, I texted him to ask if he still had his “UK money”, and he said yes.
UK money?
I’m trying to get a UK nursing job, and he’s been saving up to relocate too.
So you’re going as a couple?
No o. Even though it’d be easier, my dad doesn’t believe in young people getting married before they’re settled financially. I’m just 23 years old. He doesn’t even know I have a serious boyfriend, talkless of marriage. He lives in the UK and hasn’t been home since 2019, so I’ll just wait until I see and talk to him face-to-face.
What about your mum?
In December, I asked Tobi to come and state his intentions because my mother was asking. He did.
So you did intro?
Intro sounds too serious, abeg. Don’t give me anxiety. But yes, they met officially. He also bought 25 litres of groundnut oil for her and added ₦50k. I was at work, so when I returned, she said I had to get something for his mum.
Did you?
Yes, I got her an ankara material and added the money for sewing — about ₦20k. I’d gotten his mum stuff previously. A bag for her birthday, and I also got his niece a teddy bear for her birthday. ₦15k, respectively.
How much have you spent on special gifts for him?
On Valentine’s last year, I got him a t-shirt, a cute short and a button shirt which cost ₦25k. For Christmas, I got him a shoe he told me he liked on IG. It was ₦35k. And a food tray of ₦12k that was delivered to him on Christmas Eve.
What did he get you for Christmas?
He gave me ₦200k. He owed me about ₦97k, though. Sometimes, he asks me to help him pay for stuff or send money to someone, but whenever he’s sending it back, he sends extra. I never have to ask before he gives me money. If I mention something I want, as long as he can get it, he will. If he can’t, he’ll assist with part of it.
Interesting. Do you have a financial safety net?
I have ₦500k in my savings and ₦100k I lent someone. So, ₦600k. Everything relocation is being taken care of by my dad.
What’s your financial future as a couple?
It depends on how much money I earn and the cost of living where we’ll stay. But I want to be able to save £500 – 700 a month. And when Tobi gets a tech job — he’s started taking classes online — we’ll move to £1k or more.
If you’re interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship, this is a good place to start.
The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different Nigerian cities.
Image Source: Unsplash (Actual interview subjects are anon*)
Bella* is living the baby girl life, with no job, heavy bills or need for savings. In this interview, she talks about meeting her two current boyfriends on Instagram and having her parents as her safety net.
Occupation and location
University student living in Oyo state
Monthly income
I get a standard ₦60k monthly allowance from my parent and between ₦80 – 100k from my partner.
Monthly bills and recurring expenses
Data: ₦22k
Feeding: ₦40k
Transportation: ₦20k
Wardrobe: ₦30k
There’s also my ₦200k rent, but it’s taken care of by my parents.
No savings?
I try to keep money aside sometimes, but it’s always with a goal in mind. I invested in a clothing line one time in 2020. I started with bespoke, so people paid me before I made their clothes. But when I decided to expand to ready-to-wear with ₦50k, the tailors messed up the sewing and fabric choice. I ended up having to give out most of them to friends. Abeg, I don’t like suffering. Whenever I get money now, I try to make myself comfortable.
What does that look like?
Buying things that make me happy — clothes, shoes, food. I’ve spent ₦33k on two dresses in the last two weeks. Like now, I want to change my phone, and I have about ₦250k, but if I use it, I’d have to survive on garri till like February. My boyfriend promised to send me money for a new phone, so I’ll just wait.
How often does he give you money?
Sometimes, once a month; other times, it’s more. He usually gives me ₦80 – 100k. Although he recently sent ₦150k, so there’s no telling with these things.
How did you guys meet?
We met on Instagram in August. Laide* slid into my DM, and we started talking. He’s in his early 30’s and works in the US, while I’m 22 years old, living and schooling in Ibadan, Oyo state.
I planned to visit Lagos the following week, and coincidentally, he was going there too, so we made plans to see. In retrospect, he’d been following me on IG for a while, so he probably waited till he was visiting Nigeria to text me.
And what was your first meeting like?
It was nice. We met at a Chinese restaurant. I can’t remember how much the food I got was, but I know the menu was pricey. The food came in platters, and we had a cocktail and mocktail respectively. He spent an average of ₦70k on our everything. We spent the whole day and the next together.
How?
I was staying at a friend’s place in Lagos, so I just texted her that I wasn’t coming back that day. I spent the night at his place. The next morning, we went out for breakfast. I honestly have no idea how much that cost. We went back to his place after that, and his family visited later in the day. Meeting his little nieces and nephews was fun. Then he gave me $200 cash when I left in the evening.
What did you spend the money on?
I had an occasion to attend, the asoebi plus sewing cost ₦45k. I also got some clothes and shoes. A dollar was about ₦700 then, so it was a lot. I spent the rest of the week visiting some friends and family I had in Lagos. Then almost a week later, he wanted us to see again. This time, we met at his friend’s lounge. It was more of a group hang because he had about five friends there. They were really nice and tried to involve me in all their conversations — from politics to relationships. In the end, they split the ₦150k bill.
I went back to Ibadan after that, but we stayed in contact. Two weeks later, he said he was returning to the US and would like for me to see him off to the airport. I already liked him at this point, so I came back to Lagos. I got in the day before the flight, and we spent the day at his place with his friends and family. In the morning, we went to the airport and said our goodbyes. He sent me ₦100k before he left.
Aww
Wait, there was another time we met, a few days before he travelled. He’d gone to see a friend in Ibadan, and on his way to Lagos, he stopped by my place in school. We spent some hours together and got to know each other really fast. That’s why it seemed normal to start dating before he returned to the US.
A long-distance relationship?
Yes. The first month was hard because of the time difference. When I’m free, he’s at work; when he’s free, I’m busy. Sometimes, we went a whole week without talking to each other. I’d try to text and call, but he won’t respond.
How did that make you feel?
Like I couldn’t rely on him emotionally which made me so upset, I ended up splurging on a dress.
How much?
I can’t remember, but the highest I’ve spent on my shopping sprees is ₦20k. I’m a stress shopper. At the slightest inconvenience, I go to the supermarket to buy random stuff. Sometimes, I buy for my siblings; sometimes, my friends.
Interesting
We eventually spoke about it, and he explained he was going through a hard time. He’s not the most expressive person, so I don’t try to coerce him into telling me something he doesn’t want to.
How are things now?
Way better. Since we spoke about it, he started to put more effort into communicating, plus we understand each other better. I realised I have to overlook some of his shortcomings to keep enjoying what we have now. Now, we text and send memes often, and when we can, we talk on the phone — usually for two to three hours. The relationship is not intense, but we’re good. It also helped that he came back for the holidays in 2022.
What are the things you enjoy?
Money. He sent me ₦100k and a cake platter for my birthday in October 2022. During his December visit, he also bought me a lot of clothes, shoes and a designer bag.
And what gifts have you given him?
Nothing. He’s in the US, so that’d be difficult. And he doesn’t care for his birthdays. He appreciates that I even make the effort to be the first to call and wish him a happy birthday. He doesn’t expect anything from me, TBH.
How do you know?
I tend to gravitate towards people who treat me like a princess. I always get hair, clothes and shoes, both from people I’m dating and random people online.
Sorry?
I could post online, and guys would slide into my DM. One time, I complained on IG about issues with my bank. One guy asked for my account number and sent ₦50k. Another one sent ₦30k. I can tell some people I like something, and they’d send me the money to get it. Sometimes, we don’t even talk long enough for us to meet offline.
Hmmm
On my birthday, I got at least 50 DMs.
God, please
That’s how I met Emmanuel*, my boyfriend.
Huh?
I have two boyfriends at the moment.
Do they know about each other?
No.
What’s the plan?
I don’t have one. Time could pass, and Laide and I would end things or Emmanuel and I would stop talking. I’ll just let time solve it because I’ve decided to have my cake and eat it.
Emmanuel is really sweet. He texts me every morning to tell me I’m the most beautiful girl he’s seen. We started dating this January, about a month after we started talking.
Is he at least in Nigeria?
Yes. He stays in Ibadan as well, so it was easy for him to come and visit me in December, just a few weeks after we started talking. We spent the day gisting, which was nice. He buys me food all the time. He’d just ask me what I want to eat today and have it sent to me. The food costs between ₦2 – 4k, and he does this at least once a week. He also gave me ₦25k some weeks ago as compensation for not getting me the wig he promised. He said he had some bills to pay, and I’d have to wait till February.
Okay. How’s Valentine looking with two boyfriends?
Emmanuel mentioned getting me the wig and going on a date, but I don’t know about Laide. He’s not very romantic. I’d usually have to ask for what I want before he gives me, and I think it’d be inconsiderate of me to ask because he’s planning to send money for my phone.
Fair. Will you get gifts for any of them?
I haven’t decided yet. Maybe for Emmanuel.
Aren’t you worried they’ll find out about each other?
I don’t think that’s possible because they’re in entirely different circles. Laide is a businessman abroad. Emmanuel is a student. Also, if anyone leaves, I’d be fine. But usually, I’m the one who leaves. I’ve always been in relationships — although this is the first time I’m dating two people at the same time. I wanted to be single once, but that only lasted one month before I met Laide.
Why?
He was really sweet when we met. I could tell he was really into me. I also try to find love and money in the same person, so he was a great fit. He works hard and has a house in an expensive part of Lagos, so it was giving prime husband material.
Do you have a financial safety net?
Does my family count? Because I can always trust my parents to come through for me. Even if I don’t get boyfriend allowance, I’d be sure of consistent funds from them.
What about your ideal financial future?
I want to earn a stable income from coding. I can focus on exploring my interior design dreams with that income.
Wait, I didn’t know you were a coder
I was learning online before my laptop went bad, but I’ll fix it soon. I’m giving myself like six months to master coding. Till then, I’m living my life the best way I can.
If you’re interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship, this is a good place to start.
The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different Nigerian cities.
Image Source: Unsplash (Actual interview subjects are anon*)
Alexei* is a 26-year-old man with a partner who’s 15 years older and earns enough to spend Alexei’s salary in one night. In this interview, he shares the misconceptions about their relationship, the power dynamic and how he gets away with being poor through the power of gifting.
Occupation and location
Customer care representative living in Lagos.
Monthly income
I earn ₦90k monthly.
Monthly bills and recurring expenses
Transportation: ₦12k
Lunch: ₦30 – 35k
Internet: ₦7k
Savings: ₦25 – 30k
Finish?
I live with my partner, so light and feeding are covered. I spend money only when I’m outside the house or gifting my partner.
How often do you give your partner gifts?
Because of my financial state, I only get them gifts on birthdays, Valentine’s and Christmas. Except for books, which I buy for them randomly.
How did you meet your partner?
Through a friend who posted my picture to wish me a happy birthday. They saw the picture and asked for my number.
Just two days after we started talking, they came to the East, where I was visiting family, to see me.
Why?
They knew what they wanted and were too old to waste time playing games.
From the beginning, they set the power dynamic of money. They stayed in the East for a day before flying back to Lagos. One day later, they asked me out. I’d never been asked out so directly before, so I decided to give it a shot.
How has the relationship been?
We’ll be three years in a few months, so, really good. I’m grateful that I’ve found someone conscious enough not to throw the fact that they make more money than me in my face.
What do you mean?
We never speak about money because they can’t relate to my money struggles. They have a great career and earn about ₦1m monthly. They can travel whenever they want, afford ₦2m couches and spend my entire salary on dinner without batting an eyelid.
But do they give you money?
This is not a sugar baby deal. My friends think I get a monthly allowance, but I don’t. We’re dating, and to me, that means partnership. They get me whatever they think I want, but I don’t ask them for money.
For instance, four months after we started dating, my laptop crashed. I was at their place because I was staying over for a few weeks, so they went out and got me a new one for ₦200k. That was the first time I realised, “Oh, this guy has money.”
Omo
When I moved to Abuja in 2021, my plan was to live with a friend, which I did for a few days. Then one day, they sent me an address and said that it was my new apartment. I got there, and it was already furnished. It had everything from an air conditioner to a bed frame — the rent cost like ₦850k.
How did you navigate the long-distance relationship, though?
We saw each other once every month for a year, sometimes twice. I’d fly to Lagos on weekends or tell my employer I was sick so I could “work from home”.
Where were you working?
I was working at an investment firm where they paid me ₦70k. It was an internship that was supposed to run for six months, after which I’d be confirmed. But then, they asked for an extra six months, and at the end of that, they still fired me.
Wild
It happened around the middle of 2022. I started job hunting a few months later, and I got invited to an interview in Lagos. That’s when I decided to move back to Lagos full-time. But instead of shuttling between friends’ houses like I had done in the past, I decided to live with my partner.
What’s living with a tentative sugar daddy like?
Our dates are very sporadic. Sometimes, we go months without a single date; other times, we go six times a month. The minimum spend is ₦40k, which they cover.
Since I don’t pay for stuff, I put a lot of thought into the gifts I give them. For Valentine’s Day in 2021, I commissioned four paintings with special notes behind each of them, which cost about ₦40k in total. That year, I also got them a nice senator material that cost ₦50k and a blue watch — because they love wristwatches but don’t have one in that colour — for about ₦70k. Even though they literally have everything they want, getting gifts that show I’m thinking of them is how I get away with being poor.
Smartest
I want to do nice things for them without having to wait for special occasions. There was this day we went shopping at Spar, and the bill was a little over ₦200k, but their card was declined. The whole time they tried to sort it out, I doubt they even considered me as an option. And sometimes, it’s things like this that get to me. Something I’ve noticed is when we go to high-end stores, the staff is nonchalant to me until they walk in. Then, the staff rushes to attend to them. It’s emasculating. I realised this is what women go through every time. Am I the woman in our relationship now?
Tears
The worst happened two weeks ago. I’d sent their official driver to help me pick up a delivery, and when they came back to the house, the security guard knocked and said, “They’re looking for your daddy.”
Ah
In my head, I thought maybe I did look poor. The guy insisted that my “daddy” should come to receive the package until I identified the driver and said I was the one who asked for the things. In his defence, he was new.
I’m sha giving myself till the end of this year to get my life on track. There’s this project management certification of ₦400k I’m saving for. If not for some unfortunate incidents, I should’ve been able to afford it by now.
What’s taking all your money?
Last year, I lost about ₦800k to a bad investment deal, borrowed a relative ₦1m, and the moving cost from Abuja to Lagos was about ₦60k. I also tend to send friends random ₦5ks a lot. Someone could call and tell me in passing that they hadn’t eaten, and I’d send them money.
Please, where did all this money come from?
LOL, I used to do a lot of freelance creative and copywriting gigs from the time I was in school up until 2020. Sometimes, I’d get paid between $200 – $300 per work; other times, ₦40k here, ₦50k there. And I could comfortably survive on ₦15k for one month. I didn’t go out or eat out and only bought clothes once in a few years. I only spent money on essential things — food and data.
Must be nice
My partner and I are alike in that way. They don’t mind getting me anything as long as it can be considered a necessity. I had an interview last year, and they sent me ₦50k to get a suit so I could look the part. On my birthday weeks later, they surprised me with another suit as “backup”.
God, when?
The most we’ve done for each other was last year’s Christmas. They gave me about ₦1.3m in gifts. I know this because I saw some receipts.
I got a Samsung flip phone, a case to go with it, sneakers, a co-ord top and shirts and Samsung pods pro. I must’ve been a good boy, LOL.
LOL. What did you get them?
I made an outfit for them from the fashion designer they used. I contacted them claiming to be the assistant, so they sent sample styles. That cost me about ₦57k. I also got them a wireless charger for about ₦25k and a kitchen mixer aide — they love having cute gadgets in the house. That one cost ₦60k. All these were from my savings, of course.
Not bad for a “poor boy”
Being with my partner has made me lax with money. It’s not like I suddenly spend on trivialities, but knowing you have someone doing the heavy financial lifting makes you relax a little.
Do you have a financial safety net?
I still have $500 in my domiciliary account and ₦600k in my Piggyvest. My random savings accounts have about ₦100k left.
That’s impressive
I’d be more impressed with myself when I get a better-paying job because I’m turning 27 — this is my last year before I’ll be too old for entry-level jobs. I want to quit my job but need a way to pay for Valentine’s gifts. My taste has also changed. I now like to eat fresh olives, salmon, cheese… I need a good job to afford this lifestyle if they decide to break up one day.
Do I still need to ask about your ideal future?
Well, you already know mine is to get my savings up and contribute meaningfully to the relationship. And for them? They want to relocate in the next three to four years. They might go next year if the election doesn’t go how we want.
Don’t you want to relocate too?
I know they’ll want me to come with them, but I’m not scholarship material. I suck at assessments, and I can’t even afford the application fees for the plenty schools I’d have to apply to right now. What would I do abroad if I can’t get a decent job in Nigeria, even with my 2:1 degree? What happens after six or ten months when he’s tired of catering to my needs?
I don’t know if I want to give someone so much power over me in another man’s country.
*Subject refers to his partner in gender-neutral pronouns, they/them.
If you’re interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship, this is a good place to start.
