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  • How to Ball on a Mechanic’s Budget This Detty December

    How to Ball on a Mechanic’s Budget This Detty December

    With just a few weeks to the end of 2022, you should already know if you’re a baller or a mechanic. And if your case is the latter, you need these tips to help you get the most fun in the coming festive season. 

    Pray 

    The first step is to commit your account to God in prayer. Will he multiply your account balance, send your helper to locate you or give you concert tickets in your dreams? You won’t know till you try. 

    Get cheap tickets

    Who says you have to be a big boy to party with them? It doesn’t matter if you won your ticket in a giveaway or got it because you’re the bird that didn’t sleep. What matters is that you’re outside, screaming your lungs out and dancing to your fave’s performance.

    Sell your properties 

    The only reason you’re not a baller is because you don’t make enough money, and you need to fix that. Don’t worry if you don’t have properties to sell. You can sell your body — it’s a whole goldmine. Do we need to remind you that you have a kidney and a spare?  

    Use public transport

    After selling your father’s land to afford Asake’s tickets, the day of the concert reaches, and you don’t have money to pay for Uber. You’ll like public transport, don’t worry. Pro-tip: You can use “o wa” as rehearsal for when your fave is performing.

    Have rich friends

    They say follow who know road. And if your current friends aren’t talking about gifting you free tickets, it’s a sign that they’re the first people you need to cut off. Do we know how you’ll meet the rich ones? No. But we trust you to figure it out. 

    Eat from home

    Nobody says you can’t be a foodie, but try to eat before leaving your house. We can’t have you passing out from hunger in the middle of your legwork because you refused to pay ₦5k for spaghetti with facebeat.

    Attend Z! Fest 

    Whether you’re a mechanic or a baller, you deserve to party. And we’re giving you good music, games, vibes — a festival. And it all costs way less than ₦70k.

    Get your tickets here

    Meyimi O.

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  • QUIZ: Take This Quiz and We’ll Style You for Z! Fest

    QUIZ: Take This Quiz and We’ll Style You for Z! Fest

    Instead of wasting your time trying on five different outfits, take this quiz, and let’s help you pick the perfect outfit.

    Ralia

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  • What if Nigerian Musicians Were Your Secondary School Classmates?

    What if Nigerian Musicians Were Your Secondary School Classmates?

    Imagine you were graduating from the Class of 2022 and this was your yearbook. These are your classmates and their personalities. Did we lie?

    Lady Donli

    You know that child who just sits in the corner, minds their business and draws in their sketchbook? That’s Zainab. She’s troublesome and loud o, but only around her close friends. And nobody disrespects her because she’s mysterious. 

    Also, when you open her sketchbook, you see she’s a brilliant artist, but what she draws will have you wash your eyes with holy water. 

    Tiwa Savage

    She’s the hot babe of the class. Your smelling class boys don’t even try moving to her. It’s only senior boys she rolls with. Her uniform? Always pristine. 

    Portable

    The tout of the class. His uniform is always torn from one fight or another. He has lapalapa on his head. Teachers don’t bother ensuring he understands what they’re saying. They already know he can never make it. 

    YKB

    He knows how to get along with teachers while being a bad boy, so everyone likes him. He’s also really intelligent, so nobody can actually fault him for anything. Oh, and his swag levels? Out of this world. 

    *Enters advertising mode* Yusuf baby is going to rock Z! Fest on Saturday, and you better join us to lose our voices screaming “Alabama, sheybe leti j’amala!”

    Burna Boy

    His parents are rich, and he used to school abroad, but he’s back in Nigeria as a punishment. Now, he’s the class snub who only talks to the other rich kids. Every other person is smelling, and he can’t stand Portable. 

    Dwin the Stoic

    He’s won all the talent shows since JSS 1 because he knows how to sing and makes it his entire personality. Swag? Zero. Babes? They’ve all friendzoned him. But at least, he can sing.

    *Switches to advertising mode* Dwin the Stoic will be serenading us at Z! Fest on Saturday. We’ve tried, but we actually can’t wait. Get your ticketss!

    Tope Alabi

    She has scribbled “Give your life to Christ” on her desk. She’s the chapel prefect who leads the assembly in praise and worship every morning. She sits in front and answers questions like it’s a competition. She has never gotten anything less than an A in CRK. She’s also the only one in your set who didn’t slim-fit her uniform. 

    Ayra Starr

    Social prefect. She brings the vibes on vibes, literally. Never a single dull moment with her.

    *Switches to advertising mode again* She’ll also bring the vibes on vibes to Z! Fest this Saturday, so get your tickets here then come and watch Ayra shut down the show!

    Teni

    She’s a bully. Not only to juniors o; even the boys in her class fear her. She sits at the back of the class always. And she brings her phone to school.

    Rema

    All Rema wants to do is attend English class because he’s in love with the teacher. If you know, you know. 

    David Odunlami

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  • 8 Surefire Ways to Make Friends at a Party

    8 Surefire Ways to Make Friends at a Party

    Parties are more fun when you’re out with your friends, but they won’t always be interested in going with you. So instead of looking on awkwardly while everyone else has the time of their lives with their squad, try these helpful tips. 

    Dress nice 

    You’d feel more confident approaching people when you look like a bag of money. They might even come to you instead because, who can resist a bad bitch? Nobody.

    Smile

    We know this might sound corny, but it works. You can’t be squeezing your face like you’re about to fight someone and expect people to talk to you.

    Ask questions

    This is the easiest way to do a vibe check. We’re not saying walk up to someone and start quizzing them o. The question could be as simple as where they got their drink or what part of the event they’re looking forward to. Wait for their responses to see how you can make further conversation. 

    Try the friendship corner at Z! Fest

    Think of speed dating but for friends. You’d have a little time to feel each other’s vibe. And you’ll feel less pressured to carry the entire conversation because they’re as interested in making new friends as you are. Plus, we know we said friendship, but who knows, you might also meet the love of your life at Z! Fest.

    Start by buying your ticket here

    Participate in many fun activities

    You’re there to have fun, right? Being alone shouldn’t stop that. If you see a group of people playing a game, ask if you could join in. In no time, you’d be laughing and teasing each other.  

    Go to the sitting areas

    It might be harder for you to make friends when everyone’s already in full-party mode. Look out for the sitting areas, and try to start conversations while the person is still relaxed and might be interested in a bit of chit-chat. Again, read the room. Don’t force a conversation on someone who wants to be left alone.

    Don’t be stingy with your compliments 

    If you see someone who looks good, let them know. Don’t give a generic compliment like “You look good”, please. Are they supposed to look bad before? Find something specific you like. Is it their shoes, bag or the way they accessorised? You can then proceed to make small talk. 

    Scout the area 

    Since you went alone to the party, the chances you’ll find someone else who did are high. So look around, and you’ll find them in no time.

    You should read next: 7 Ways To Make Friends As An Adult

    Now you have no reason to miss Z! Fest

    Meyimi O.

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  • If You Do Any of These Things, You Don’t Deserve Love

    If You Do Any of These Things, You Don’t Deserve Love

    It doesn’t matter if you’re in a relationship or not, if you do anything on this list, you don’t deserve true love because you have a poor sense of judgement.

    You don’t like Asake 

    Not liking Asake is not a flex of any kind. In fact, it should be among the list of crimes punishable by dragging through the dark streets of Twitter. But there’s still hope for you, just fix up and watch the love of your life fall into your arms.

    You don’t watch K-drama

    The year is 2022, and you still haven’t watched a single K-drama series, and you think you can find love? Laughs in Lee Min Ho. We advise you to try and watch at least one before the year ends. Who knows? You might learn a thing or two about attracting your crush.

    You’re active on Twitter

    You left Instagram, WhatsApp and LinkedIn to choose Twitter as your favourite platform? Who are you trying to deceive? You don’t want love; you want problems always. And we agree. 

    You use apple products but don’t eat apples 

    Oya, we give you two hours to come up with a defence on why you think this behaviour is okay. 

    You say the word “sapa”

    Any small thing, you’ve hurried to say, “sapa”. Why have you decided to use this word to death? What else would you say if we took sapa out of your vocabulary?  

    You’ve found love

    Why would people tell you love ends in breakfast and you still carried your coconut head to enter there? You clearly do not deserve love of any form since you seem to like pain.

    You prefer phone calls to text

    The only people allowed to do this are people over the age of 50. If your first instinct is to call instead of text, what you need is a customer care job, not love. 

    You live in Lagos

    You live in the most stressful city in Nigeria, and you’re thinking of love? You need to redirect that energy into surviving the long traffic, exorbitant transportation costs, noise and general struggle that comes with life in Lagos. 

    You haven’t gotten your Z! Fest tickets 

    We’ve provided you with an escape from all the stress, and you’re still thinking about whether to attend. SMH. Do you know you might even find love at the speed dating session if you attend Z! Fest? Well, now you know. Get your tickets so we can take you off this list.

    Get a ticket to stand a chance of experiencing love

    Bonus point: You like semo

    After constantly telling you to cancel this food, you’ve still gone ahead to not just eat it but enjoy it? You have some unresolved issues, and clearly, no one can love you till you get help.

    Meyimi O.

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  • It’s Not Detty December if You Don’t Do These Things

    It’s Not Detty December if You Don’t Do These Things

    Even though it’s still November, we know most of you have already mentally checked out of the month and are planning for detty December. So here’s a list of activities to include in your plans. 

    Start early 

    Instead of going full swing into party mode in December, start introducing yourself to fun activities happening now. Try a get-together with your friends, a house party and so on. 

    Form a party squad 

    If you think going to parties alone is fun, you should try going with a squad. 

    Karaoke party 

    Mind you, we said karaoke, not Nigerian Idol. If everyone’s not singing offkey, it doesn’t count. You’ve worked too hard this year not to end it by singing till your heart’s content, please. 

    Games night 

    Before you argue that you do this every other day, we’re talking about a proper games night with fun games that don’t involve exchanging saliva or body fluids in the name of truth or dare. 

    Silent disco

    Silent disco is like having the aux cord at a party. Who doesn’t want that type of power? Just put your headphones on and select the vibe you want. 

    Food and drinks festival 

    Human beings are wicked, so you can’t place your happiness in their hands. But you see food? It can do you no wrong. Take out a day to appreciate and celebrate the existence of food in your life. 

    Music concert 

    If there’s anything that’s sure it’s detty December will be overflowing with concerts. And with all the mad jams Nigerian artists have dropped this year, you should definitely attend one to watch your fave perform in front of you. 

    Attend Z! Fest

    You can decide to kill all these birds with one stone party bomb that’s Z! Fest. It has everything you’d want — a games night, concert and party combined. And since Z! Fest is happening on November 26, it’s the perfect way to launch yourself into detty December.

    Get your tickets here

    Meyimi O.

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  • QUIZ: You’re No Fun if You Can’t Get 10/15 on This Party Quiz

    QUIZ: You’re No Fun if You Can’t Get 10/15 on This Party Quiz

    If you don’t ace this quiz, your life is lowkey boring. Please don’t disappoint us.

    Which of these have you done:

    Meyimi O.

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  • Everything You Should Abandon Now That Z! Fest is Here 

    Everything You Should Abandon Now That Z! Fest is Here 

    Everyone stop what you’re doing.

    Z! Fest is here. 

    There’s a lot to prepare for. Like body painting, dance booths, karaoke, musical performances, tattoo parlours and more! So you can fully enjoy the activities we’ve planned for you, we think some of these things have to go.

    Your partner 

    You’ll meet a better one at Z! Fest during the speed dating session, we promise. 

    School

    Why are you in school when the G.O.A.T of all parties is happening? Don’t allow small exams stop you from enjoying life abeg. 

    Your diet 

    You may be on a diet now, but the oriṣiriṣi at Z! Fest will make you forget your home training. Carry money for the food though. >_>

    Family members 

    Zikoko is the only family you need, and we’ll be at Z! Fest. Come party with us. Unlike your actual family members, we know how to get lit.

    Any project you’re working on 

    You won’t be able to concentrate anyway; because you’ll be too excited and distracted by the fact that Z! Fest is here. So leave it. The stakeholders will be fine. Invite them to the party too. 

    Your job 

    Okay, don’t abandon it completely because you’ll need the money to buy Z! Fest tickets. But if your boss starts doing anyhow, quit and begin your prep. What’s stopping your holiday from starting now? 

    That online course you’re taking 

    If the online course isn’t teaching you how to achieve maximum enjoyment at Z! Fest, then forget about it. You don’t need it. 

    Social media 

    Social media will only cause FOMO so you should—

    Actually, don’t abandon social media so you can use it to pepper your enemies and the razz people who ended up not buying Z! Fest tickets. 

    Your problems 

    Eat, drink and dance away your problems at Z! Fest. You may even find the solution to your problem while your brain is in relaxation and turn-up mode.  

    Sources told us we need a party to end the year, and like always, we’ve delivered. Time for you to abandon everything else because Z! Fest 2022 is here! Let’s close the year with the party of the year! Get your tickets today! 

    Dammy Eneli

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  • Z! Fest: We Need A Party!

    Z! Fest: We Need A Party!
    Get your Z! Fest tickets hereeee!

    People and friends of Zikoko, sources are saying we need a party.

    But not just any party — we need a Z! Fest party.

    We’re back again with your favourite festival by Zikoko! And this year, the theme is Class of 2022. What’s that? Let’s get into it.

    We spent about a month thinking through reasons to have a party this year. We did a thing in 2021 and the audience loved it. Then we threw the hottest party just for women in May. It made sense for us to bring out the party guns one more time.

    From Asake dropping hits, like his housing status is at risk, to the naira falling more times than our national grid, we realised, we need a party. Who’s “we” this time? All of us — those who hit some hard milestones this year and even those who were just there — we have to end the year with a bang — party — Z! Fest.

    What makes a Z! Fest Party

    This year, Z! Fest is highlighting music, games, food and drinks — everything that made 2022 worthwhile.

    Our music lineup features people you likely ran into on a playlist this 2022 or you’re bound to jam in the new year. We’ve got Ayra Starr, Yinka Bernie, Dwin the Stoic, YKB and other artists showcasing the best of their genres this 2022.

    If you’ve been to a Zikoko party, you also know we’re all about games and having the most fun. I’m proud to tell you, we’re coming clutch again this time. There’ll be board games, life-sized games, games curated around Zikoko content (relationships, money, memes…) and our classic cup pong.

    A highlight is our dance studio. If you want a dance competition with your friends while listening to music only you can hear, come through. You’ll find silent disco, waist whining and karaoke.

    And if you thought that was all the dancing there was, you’d be wrong because we’ve locked down the best DJs, which we’ll unveil soon.

    And finally, it’s not a festival without some signs of festivity. We’ve got body painters, tattoo artists and jugglers. We’re still unsure about fire-breathers. Should we be playing with fire in Lagos? Let us know. 

    At this point, all I can say is, we take our fun and partying seriously. You should come experience it.

    Date is November 26th, 2022

    Time is 3 p.m.

    You see that date? Salary earners, no excuse not to make this. Non-salary earners, come unwind on the bank of salary-earning family and friends. Everyone deserves, and everyone will get, this party.

    Pro tip: Look out for corners where we bring Zikoko to you.

    Find more details here


    Ruth Zakari

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  • Here Are All The Juicy Details To Know About Z! Fest Before You Hear It Outside

    Here Are All The Juicy Details To Know About Z! Fest Before You Hear It Outside

    If Detty December and Zikoko had a child, it would be Z! Fest.

    From 2015 till now, it’s been an interesting journey of growth, telling stories that matter, and being the pulse of the culture. To that end, it is only right that we come together to celebrate and have fun in a thriving atmosphere. Hence, the birth of Z! Fest.

    If you’re one of the people who’ve been asking, “Zikoko, when will you organise a hangout?”, then hearing about Z! Fest should make your nipples hard.

    Here are all the juicy details you should know before you hear it outside:

    What is Z! Fest?

    Z! Fest is a community event for fun-seeking friends of Zikoko to engage with us, highlighting food, music, laughter, and drinks. Think of your favourite Detty December concert + the coolest people + best live performances.

    What should I expect?

    Good food, drinks courtesy of Jameson, games, Zikoko merch giveaways (t-shirts, water bottles, tote bags and laptop stickers), and chill vibes. You’ll also get to chill with the Zikoko team and other Zikoko fans, while jamming to cool live musical performances from The Ignis Brothers, Celeste, Mo’Believe, and 3rty.

    Image

    Where is the venue?

    Somewhere in Victoria Island, Lagos, Nigeria. Buy a ticket and you’ll find out the full details.

    Susan Nwaobiala

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