Young | Zikoko!

1) You forget things easily these days.

You need to write things down or else you’ll forget.

2) You need two naps before doing any task.

And it feels like sleep is never enough.

3) A lot of your friends are in their early or late thirties.

Even though you are in your twenties.

4) Your friends think you are older than them.

Or at least behave older than them. Some even come to you for advice.

5) You have found the “one.”

At least as at today, you are in a committed relationship with someone you see yourself getting married to. Even though people find it weird.

6) Adultier adults come to you for advice.

And you keep wondering what they see in you.

7) A lot of your cloth choices are now tailored more for comfort instead of style.

Good bye skinny jeans.

8) You now need like three pieces of meat per meal.

I don’t understand the science behind this one either.

9) You’re starting to see the appeal in this:

10) If you do any physical activity, you need three working days to recover.

Hassan Yahaya

July 22, 2020

Inside Life

Men, Young
One of the best and worst parts of social media is how it has changed relationships!

One moment you’re laughing at a similar joke, the next thing dm, the next thing love is in the air!

But because human beings are professionals at behaving somehow, the love can sometimes miss road.

And you wonder how you got yourself into this nonsense situation!

Because we love you, Zikoko made a video where people spoke about the ups and downs of finding love on social media.

If you can relate (which we are sure many of you can), tell us about your experiences in the comments section. If you really enjoyed this and would like to share your thoughts and ideas in one of our videos, sign up here!

Jola Ayeye

March 14, 2017

Oldies

Friend, Friendship, Funny, hashtag, Interesting, love, opinion, romance, tinder, Twitter, Young, young people, youth, Zikoko, zikoko presents
1. You’ve only been married a minute but everyone is already asking “Where are your kids?”

You stress me out.
2. When your husband that was happy eating shawarma before marriage suddenly wants pounded yam everyday.

Those twitter people have gotten in your head shey?
3. Before marriage you got plenty dates, surprises and presents. After marriage, nothing.

You’ve seen me finish abi?
4. When family members come to visit and before you know it they’ve been around for a week.

Why are you still here?!
5. When that family member that won’t leave starts giving you marital ‘advice’.

Shut the hell up!
6. When everyone assumes that because you’re married you share everything.

Nope. No. Ehn ehn.
7. When you forget your wife’s birthday or wedding anniversary.

This will haunt you for the next one year.
8. When new gadgets come out and your wife is cooking new soups regularly.

Uhhnnn…I know what you’re doing!
9. When outsiders are trying to find something wrong with your marriage.

“We can help settle it if there’s any problem”
10. When you want to watch football but your wife wants to watch Scandal, so you watch Scandal.

Happy wife, happy life.
11. When your single friends are planning to hang out and no one invites you.

Is this life?
12. When people throw “Are you not married?” question at you when you try to do any fun thing.

Ehen? So am I dead?
13. When people try to remind you of your wild past in front of your partner.

Is this one mad?
14. When research and science won’t shut up about your sex life. Today married people have plenty sex.

Yass!
15. Tomorrow, married people don’t have enough sex.

Make up your damn minds!

Odunayo

March 10, 2016

Oldies

married, Young
As a Nigerian twenty-something, I must confess that being an adult is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I’m sure you feel the same too. No one knows our struggle. So let’s tell them:
1. When you decide to move out of your parent’s house and you realize how expensive rent is.

Please don’t let me go. One more year, please.
2. When you cannot find an affordable place to rent that’s not a shithole.

God, what is this place?!
3. When you try to convince potential employers that you’re qualified for a job.

Because your degree isn’t even enough.
4. When you get the job and realize that school did NOT prepare you for this.

What is this?
5. When your boss actually expects you to work from 9 to 5.

No, it’s not a joke.
6. When you could no longer fake a sick day for being tired, like you used to in school.

So you start waiting for the public holidays…
7. When you realize that PHCN, internet and water bills are not part of the rent.

Wait, what? WHAT?!
8. Then this is you everytime you have to pay the bills.

Is it me that spent all this? How much light and water did I use?
9. When you can no longer rely on someone else to cook for you – or do the dishes.

Growing up is a scam. I wasn’t ready.
10. When you’ve spent all of your salary but it’s just the first week of the month.

*cries in poverty*
11. When you check your bank balance after one week of avoiding it.

Oh god!
12. When you realize how many random things you have to pay for as an adult.

Wazzaldis?
13. When you realised you need to be saving a portion of your money for the ‘future’.

Is the future not far?
14. When your life achievements aren’t exactly how you pictured them back in school.

By now, I should’ve been worth 5 million dollars.
15. When people assume you can have grown up conversations just because you’re an adult now.

‘Scuse me, I have an inner child.
16. When someone tells you that they envy the life you’ve built.

Please why are you mocking me?
17. When you cannot go out with friends because you have to spend the weekends cleaning the house and doing laundry.

If not you have to buy new clothes…and no money.
18. When your life practically explodes and you have to call your parents for help.

Mummy, please pick up.
19. But they’re Nigerian, so this is most likely their reaction.

Mom, stop laughing. It’s not funny.
20. When people around you start getting married and having babies at a creepily fast rate.

Will everybody just calm down?!
21. When people start asking, “When are you going to settle down?”

I literally just grew up.
22. When you finally realize that being an adult is overrated.

It’s all a huge scam. DON’T DO IT! See. I want a break from adulting. Just 6 months. Is that too much to ask?

Odunayo

November 5, 2015

Inside Life

Adult, Nigeria, Young, Young Adult

1) You forget things easily these days.

2) You need two naps before doing any task.

3) A lot of your friends are in their early or late thirties.

4) Your friends think you are older than them.

5) You have found the “one.”

6) Adultier adults come to you for advice.

7) A lot of your cloth choices are now tailored more for comfort instead of style.

8) You now need like three pieces of meat per meal.

9) You’re starting to see the appeal in this:

10) If you do any physical activity, you need three working days to recover.

One of the best and worst parts of social media is how it has changed relationships!

One moment you’re laughing at a similar joke, the next thing dm, the next thing love is in the air!

But because human beings are professionals at behaving somehow, the love can sometimes miss road.

And you wonder how you got yourself into this nonsense situation!

Because we love you, Zikoko made a video where people spoke about the ups and downs of finding love on social media.

1. You’ve only been married a minute but everyone is already asking “Where are your kids?”

2. When your husband that was happy eating shawarma before marriage suddenly wants pounded yam everyday.

3. Before marriage you got plenty dates, surprises and presents. After marriage, nothing.

4. When family members come to visit and before you know it they’ve been around for a week.

5. When that family member that won’t leave starts giving you marital ‘advice’.

6. When everyone assumes that because you’re married you share everything.

7. When you forget your wife’s birthday or wedding anniversary.

8. When new gadgets come out and your wife is cooking new soups regularly.

9. When outsiders are trying to find something wrong with your marriage.

10. When you want to watch football but your wife wants to watch Scandal, so you watch Scandal.

11. When your single friends are planning to hang out and no one invites you.

12. When people throw “Are you not married?” question at you when you try to do any fun thing.

13. When people try to remind you of your wild past in front of your partner.

14. When research and science won’t shut up about your sex life. Today married people have plenty sex.

15. Tomorrow, married people don’t have enough sex.

1. When you decide to move out of your parent’s house and you realize how expensive rent is.

2. When you cannot find an affordable place to rent that’s not a shithole.

3. When you try to convince potential employers that you’re qualified for a job.

4. When you get the job and realize that school did NOT prepare you for this.

5. When your boss actually expects you to work from 9 to 5.

6. When you could no longer fake a sick day for being tired, like you used to in school.

7. When you realize that PHCN, internet and water bills are not part of the rent.

8. Then this is you everytime you have to pay the bills.

9. When you can no longer rely on someone else to cook for you – or do the dishes.

10. When you’ve spent all of your salary but it’s just the first week of the month.

11. When you check your bank balance after one week of avoiding it.

12. When you realize how many random things you have to pay for as an adult.

13. When you realised you need to be saving a portion of your money for the ‘future’.

14. When your life achievements aren’t exactly how you pictured them back in school.

15. When people assume you can have grown up conversations just because you’re an adult now.

16. When someone tells you that they envy the life you’ve built.

17. When you cannot go out with friends because you have to spend the weekends cleaning the house and doing laundry.

18. When your life practically explodes and you have to call your parents for help.

19. But they’re Nigerian, so this is most likely their reaction.

20. When people around you start getting married and having babies at a creepily fast rate.

21. When people start asking, “When are you going to settle down?”

22. When you finally realize that being an adult is overrated.