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Yoruba mummy | Zikoko!
  • You’ll Find These Women in a Yoruba Mummy’s Social Circle

    You’ll Find These Women in a Yoruba Mummy’s Social Circle

    We’ve established our working theory about Yoruba daddies and how they don’t play with the men in their social cycles, but have you seen their female counterparts?

    These women take the ‘sismance’ to a whole different level that leaves the men biting their lips in jealousy. We know you must have seen one of these women in your Yoruba mummy’s social circle.

    Big Mummy

    You’ll Find These Women in a Yoruba Mummy’s Social Circle

    She’s slightly older than the others. Big mummy is usually married to an Oloye, and she has advice for days.

    Ore mi

    You’ll Find These Women in a Yoruba Mummy’s Social Circle

    She’s the bestie. In her, you’ll find bits and pieces of all the other friends. She’s familiar with family members and never misses an event. She has the same clothes and jewellery sets as your mum and is always trying to make sure the friendship extends to the children.

    Mummy London

    You’ll Find These Women in a Yoruba Mummy’s Social Circle

    Is your mummy even Yoruba if she doesn’t have a friend that frequents the abroad? Especially the Youkay? Mummy London has the most pizzazz in the group. She weaves Yoruba and British English in a way that commands respect.

    Iya Meto

    This is the chief organiser of the group. She’s the one who caters for every other friend at social functions. Wedding? Naming? Birthdays? Leave it for Iya Meto.

    Sister mi

    Like Big Mummy, Sister mi is that friend who’s been around long enough to be mistaken as an actual family member. She’s your Yoruba mummy’s closest confidant and can whip anybody to shape when needed.

    Yeye

    Yeye is one friend who became royalty by virtue of the man she’s married to. She shows up to every gathering with her coral beads and bracelet.

    Alhaja

    She’s the single mother in the group with a thriving business at Lagos Island or similar. She shows up with heavy jewellery and cracks everyone up with her stories. Alhaja is also the plug for all aso-ebi and jewellery needs.

    Matron

    The most reserved in the group, and unofficial chief medical officer, Matron only shows up at select gatherings. She’s also always in a hurry to return home. But she’s the one your mum calls when you’re beginning to exhibit a sickness that has passed her self-medication skills.

    Please take the survey here.

  • 11 Things You’ll Definitely Find In Your Yoruba Mother’s House

    11 Things You’ll Definitely Find In Your Yoruba Mother’s House

    Anyone who has a Yoruba mother or Yoruba mother-in-law will know we are capping with this list.

    1. A box filled with geles she has forgotten about.

    This box is usually filled with geles from 200 years ago. You’ll probably find the gele they tied at your naming ceremony in that box. No one really knows why they can’t give out those geles or throw them away.

    2. Souvenirs from parties she attended 200 years ago.

    Take this bucket as a thank you for attending my party | North of Lagos

    Since Yoruba mums attend parties every weekend and sometimes 2 parties per day, they tend to forget about all the souvenirs they received and just dump them in random places. If you look through your Yoruba mums stuff, you’ll find a souvenir from 1985.

    3. Souvenirs from parties she threw 200 years ago.

    17 Most Popular Souvenir Ideas For Nigerian Parties - Excellence Awards

    The same way Yoruba mums like attending parties is the same way they like throwing them. A lot of souvenirs from the party are forgotten about and left in the house. The lucky leftover souvenirs are sometimes repacked and shared at the next party. There will surely be the next party.

    4. Pots from before you were born.

    Best Ways To Recycle Old Pots And Pans | Foodal

    No one really knows what the sentiment is, but Yoruba mums can pass out if they let go of those pots. They’ll keep buying new pots, but still, refuse to let go of the 50year old pot they’ve had forever.

    5. A box filled with Iro and Buba she no longer wears.

    Lace Guide: Types, Top Designs, Pros and Cons, Famous Brands, and Trends  2018/19

    This is very similar to the box of geles, atleast Iro and Buba can be restyled, but Yoruba mums usually don’t restyle their Iro and Bubas. They probably want to give the Aso-Oke in the box to their great-grandchildren.

    6. Jewellry hidden in the most confusing places known to man.

    You’ll randomly go through Yoruba mums stuff and see jewellery in it. No one knows if it’s the paranoia that makes them hide stuff in the most confusing places ever, or they just like to do it.

    7. Abo Ajase or ceramics plates and teacups that she inherited from her own grandmother.

    TVC on Twitter: "There was a time in our lives (if you know, you know) when  these particular utensils were in vogue. If you remember any of these,  tells us in the

    There are high chances you’ll also inherit that same set of plates, depending on how much your mother loves you. The abo ajase has probably been part of your family since Shehu Shagiri was president.

    8. Coal iron.

    Coal Iron/ Press, Ironing Press, Cloth Steam Press, Steam Iron Press, स्टीम  प्रेस in Kisrol, Moradabad , Kamran International | ID: 8946064297

    The fact that you haven’t seen it doesn’t mean she doesn’t own one. Except you don’t live in Nigeria.

    9. A set of fancy plates that she never brings out unless there’s a special occasion.

    Luxury Plates,Plates for sale

    No matter how rich your Yoruba mum is, she’ll always have those fancy plates that only come out of hiding when there’s a special occasion. You have probably tried to convince her to stop behaving like that, don’t worry, she’s never going to listen.

    10. Eyepencil.

    Black eye pencil producers are still in business because of Yoruba mothers. That’s all we are going to say.

    11. This tray

    Nigerian Mom's Kitchen: 5 Items In The Good Old Times

    If you look hard enough, you’ll find it somewhere.

  • When A Yoruba Woman Takes On An Asian Man In Battle

    When A Yoruba Woman Takes On An Asian Man In Battle

    One peaceful day, people were jejely boarding an aircraft, preparing for take off when kasala burst.

    A fight broke out between a Yoruba woman and another Asian man.

    And instead of being calm, she lost all chill and the Yoruba in her was unleashed.

    All of a suddenly another Asian man who was trying to make peace burst into pidgin out of nowhere.

    All that pidgin didn’t make her any calm, she still continued shouting like…

    Na wa o!

    Mummy calm down na.

    When she said “Ton ba bi e da” (If they born you well).

    When you realise they were fighting over space.

    Watch the full video of the fight here.

    https://twitter.com/Adahna/status/722486909767954432
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