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Yoruba demon | Zikoko!
  • Different Characters You’ll Find in a Yoruba Daddy’s Social Circle

    Different Characters You’ll Find in a Yoruba Daddy’s Social Circle

    Our working theory is that Yoruba men get inspiration for their sweet-talking abilities from their daddies’ social circles.

    These men have the most-hilarious nicknames for their friends, and the monikers add a certain spice to the bromance. Your Yoruba daddy definitely has a friend or two that goes by these names.

    Ojii (pronounced or-ji)

    Different Characters You’ll Find in a Yoruba Daddy Social Circle

    This is the comedian of the group. He knows how to crack everyone up and is always the life of the party.

    Isalu

    Is your daddy even Yoruba enough if he doesn’t have an Isalu in his friend group? Isalu is the custodian of history in the circle. 

    The law

    Different Characters You’ll Find in a Yoruba Daddy Social Circle

    He needs no introduction. He’s the one friend that shows up late to every function because he’s too busy settling court cases. He’s also always available to give free legal counsel.

    Oloye

    This is the one friend that has a connection to the royal family but isn’t quite certain of his ascension to the throne.  He wears his beads and bracelets to every function.

    Doki

    Different Characters You’ll Find in a Yoruba Daddy Social Circle

    Usually the family doctor, Doki knows the medical history of everyone. He also gets special treatment at family functions because he’s often watching his weight or what he consumes.

    Wadee (pronounced way-de)

    He’s the street-smart guy in the group. He often makes comments like “This your child is not sharp”, but no one takes offence because he always comes through when there’s trouble.

    Alagba

    He’s the Christian spiritual father of the group. Only makes appearances at important functions like weddings, naming ceremonies and round-figure birthdays.

    Yalufa

    He’s the Muslim spiritual father of the group. He shows up at every function but never takes a drop of alcohol.

    Alhaji

    Different Characters You’ll Find in a Yoruba Daddy Social Circle

    Alhaji is a businessman who doubles as a polygamist. He’s often the butt of jokes like “Ah, Alhaji, is that a bottle of stout I see in your front?” The other guys tease him because he’s been on Holy Pilgrimage but doesn’t adhere to the Islamic laws of avoiding alcohol.

    Colonel

    He’s the retired military official that doesn’t take nonsense; not from his friends, definitely not from their children.

  • 10 Types of Men that are More Dangerous than Yoruba Men

    10 Types of Men that are More Dangerous than Yoruba Men

    Everyone likes to say Yoruba men are the most dangerous heartbreakers. Today, we ask you to reconsider that statement. These ten types of men are more dangerous than Yoruba men.

    1. Edo men.

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    At least with Yoruba men, you know what you’re getting into. Edo men? Silent pistols. You better navigate with your eyes wide open.

    2. Urhobo men

    Urhobo Waado! Listen, Urhobo men are not lowkey. They do their evil and even dare you to do your worst. But will you do it? NO. You either lick your wounds in private or go back to beg them.

    3. Ikwerre men.

    Slow poisons, these ones. They will take care of you oh, just don’t do pass yourself by fighting his wife and other girlfriends. Maintain the peace so you can experience the peace.

    4. Ijaw men.

    Ijaw men are actually transparent, let’s be honest. They will show you what you are getting into, but you will go into it regardless because the knacks will be too good, it will cloud your judgement. If he is a willing spender, my dear, that is the beginning of your prison sentence. You will be getting heartbroken but you will stay there because you have been tied down by forces greater than you.

    5. Kalabari men.

    If a Kalabari man is on your case, please just go to the T-junction and offer sacrifices to your family deity. Don’t say anything, just run and carry the sacrifice before it gets worse. By the time a Kalabari man is done with you, even you will pity yourself.

    6. Isoko men.

    Word on the streets have it that Isoko men are the devil’s second-in-command. They don’t desist until the assignment is completed. Cover yourself in the armour of Jehovah, please.

    7. Okrika men.

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    Okrika men will do you serious strong thing. Emphasis on “Serious”. It’ll be so bad, that you won’t even be able to speak of the great havoc that has been wreaked upon you. You will just become mellow.

    8. Rivers men.

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    Are you ready for character development with a sprinkle of tears? If that sounds like your cup of tea, then go ahead. If not, please just run.

    9. Igbo men.

    *deep, Negro, spiritual sigh* Those who know, know. Don’t wait till you experience it, it is better they gist you about it.

    10. Anioma men.

    Please just run. You want to bam ba? You want to chill with Anioma men? Omo, when it’s all over, you will run kiti kiti and kata kata.

    [donation]

  • 8 Male Yoruba Names Known for Heartbreak Fight to Defend Their Honour

    8 Male Yoruba Names Known for Heartbreak Fight to Defend Their Honour

    Names like Femi, Tobi, Segun… are names you hear and immediately have your guards up. Why? Bad vibes and negativity.

    A few of these Yoruba names sat with us today to say their side of the story. 

    Femi

    Femi means “Love me”, but Nigerian women and women all over the world complain when I go around looking and spreading love. But it’s the reason I was created; it’s my birthright. I am a lover, not a philanderer.

    Tobi

    Tobi means “Big” and my love is big enough to go around. If you need a piece of love, you know where to find me. I don’t know why Tobi is amongst the names women avoid when all I do is give many people a big piece of my love. 

    Tunde

    Tunde means “I have come again”. And that’s what she said because I always come bearing good tidings. A prophet is never appreciated in their own home; that’s why nobody rates me and everyone thinks I am going around doing ashewo-lite. As I come again, I want to make you cum again. That’s highly benevolent of me If I do say so myself.

    Kunle

    I am “A FULL house”. I’m a full-time happening babe living his life to the fullest. Say whatever you like about me and give me whatever PR you like, I know for sure that I’m a bad bitch. 

    Writer’s note: Kunle seems to have missed the memo.

    Muyiwa

    Muyiwa means “Brought this one”, and the thing I love to bring the most is sex. Men and women are always complaining about my choice and try to nitpick what gift I bring home. But it’s my choice. Do am if e easy. 

    Seun

    People always confuse me, Seun, for a sarewagba guy named Sean. Sean is my alter-ego. Whatever they said Sean did, he did that shit. Seun, on the other hand, is a good guy. My name means “Thank you”, which is what people say after I meet them. Ungrateful haters need to stop tainting his image.

    Seyi

    My name means “Did this” and I am not one to avoid accountability. Emi ni mo se, I did it and the recipient enjoyed it. Seyi is a name associated with beauty. Do you want me to hide all this beauty and not share it? O wrong nau. I am sorry to everyone involved, but there’s no stopping me. 

    Tunji

    I think I am here because people confuse me with Tunde. Yes, our Yoruba names have similar meanings, but we aren’t the same. I am a 45+ man who spends his time with his wife and kids. I may have a few girlfriends here and there, but I still think I get mixed up with Tunde and that’s the issue. 

  • If Your Nigerian Girlfriend Does Any Of These, She’s A Yoruba Demon

    If Your Nigerian Girlfriend Does Any Of These, She’s A Yoruba Demon

    Yoruba demon = player in this context. One gender has bad PR for being a player so we decided to level the playing field. Kings, if you see any of these signs, it’s a red flag. Immediately nip it in the bud.

    1) She communicates when there’s a problem.

    It’s a distraction from the fact that she has six of you in her purse that she’s rotating. She can’t afford to waste time too much time on one person.

    2) She says fine and actually means it’s fine.

    She doesn’t love you enough hence she’s not fighting for it. You mean no small drama? No allowing you to do a bit of display? Hmmm.

    3) She doesn’t eat out of your food.

    Red flag. Nigerian women show love by eating out of your food. Especially after saying they weren’t interested.

    4) Her gifts are not singlet and boxers.

    Run!

    5) She says “I love you.”

    If a Nigerian woman loves you, she’ll say she hates you. You see, she’s cheating.

    6) She doesn’t say “na so” when you compliment her.

    She has been receiving training from her other men and that’s why she’s now used to compliments. If you were the only one on her case, she’d still be shy to compliments.

    7) You’re not hearing words like “big head” and “ode.”

    She’s calling you baby and you too you are happy? Sorry for you.

    8) She’s always laughing.

    Kings, ask yourself, are you that funny? or are you the joke? Focus, young king.

    Growing up Nigerian
  • 9 Women Talk About Dating Yoruba Men

    9 Women Talk About Dating Yoruba Men

    The term “Yoruba demons” has become something of a buzzword in the Nigerian dating scene. Some women say they would make the devil himself jealous with the devious machinations of their minds, while others don’t quite understand what all the ruckus around them is about.

    We asked 9 Nigerian women about their experience dating Yoruba men and this is what they said:

    Vivain, 31: “I was dating myself”

    Lol! I haven’t dated a Yoruba man, my dear. Who I dated was myself. For a whole year. This Yoruba man I thought I was dating had a fiancee in Nigeria, who he first told me was his sister, then his cousin, then his ex who he broke up with because she had gotten pregnant for his best friend. Meanwhile, the poor girl was there faithfully sending daily nudes and weekly personal porn videos. The man even got his older sister and mother to swear to me on their lives that he was single. So yes, I’ve dated a Yoruba man and by the special grace of God I lived to tell the story.

    Esosa, 30: “It was awful.”

    It was awful, he cheated and bragged about the number of women he slept with on Facebook. He mentioned their names and that was when I knew I was dating a real demon.

    Niki, 25: “I loved the idea of being with him.”

    That my experience wasn’t great isn’t an indictment on the entire tribe. However, I dated an only son from a rich family. A spoilt, cruel brat who got whatever he wanted and thought it would extend to me. Looking back at it now I don’t think I loved him. I loved the idea of being with him. How good we looked together. I had to shut him down anyway when he started getting worse. I cut him off and blocked him and his friends everywhere so they couldn’t get access to me for any reason.

    Ifeoma, 27: “Everything they said about them is true.”

    My most recent past relationship was with a Yoruba man. Well, everything they said about them is true. I sha didn’t experience any kind of infidelity. But the talkativeness, craftiness, dishonesty, ahhh very poor personal hygiene, lazyyyyy.

    Sylvia, 24: “It was fun while it lasted.”

    It was acutally a good experience, we had fun while it lasted.

    Nkay, 25: “He was good to me.”

    Most part of the dating was online. He was good to me and he was super smart. The arguments weren’t a lot and I was extremely happy. He was stingy back then sha.

    Lilian, 25: “The Yoruba Demon thing is real.”

    The experience is hell, some days heaven, the Yoruba demon thing is real. Especially if the guy is a fine boy, bonus, if he has a beard and is dark.

    Dinma, 23: “It was a bittersweet experience.”

    Dated no, flirted with yes. Always romantic, and knowing the right things to say to a lady. Pretend they understand you but they really don’t care. It was a bitter sweet experience but it ended in tears.

    Nelly, 29: “The first one cheated on me.”

    I have dated two Yoruba men. They are very romantic… gifts, a fun time,  words of affirmation, the whole works. The first one cheated on me and the second was too busy with work so we hardly saw.


    Did you relate to any experience on the list? Or do you have more tea to spill? Send a mail to blessing@bigcabal.com if you do and we’ll get right to it.

    Meanwhile, we also have a list of annoying things single women in Nigeria are tired of for you to read.

  • 6 Times Ebuka Served Us Premium Agbada Goodness

    6 Times Ebuka Served Us Premium Agbada Goodness

    Look, we cannot even argue. Ebuka Obi-Uchendu has a sense of style that is given from God himself. Day in day out, the man serves us fashion styles that snatches our edges. That’s why we came up with a list of some of the times he served us premium Agbada. Look and be inspired. And maybe, just maybe, you can fire your tailor.

    1. This Agbada that made a lot of men (women too) fight with their tailors.

    Related image

    The Yorubas said it right: “If you compare a child with another, you’ll beat one child to death.”

    2. This Agbada with a piece of Benin history.

    Image result for ebuka agbada

    Talk about merging history with style. We stan a historical agbada.

    3. Agbada that graduated with a first class.

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    Even your first class degree has to bow.

    4. This Agbada that snatched wigs.

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    Ebuka, we are your carpet. Please walk on us.

    5. This Agbada with a stunning splash of colour.

    Image result for ebuka agbada

    And now, one self-acclaimed fashionista will say that pink is not a masculine colour. Haq haq, the audacity.

    6. Did anyone say black is a sad colour?

    Image result for ebuka agbada

    This is the kind of Yoruba demon you’ll beg to damage your heart.

  • Quiz: What Kind Of Romantic Partner Are You?

    Quiz: What Kind Of Romantic Partner Are You?

    Everyone has something to say about what kind of person they are. But how well do we truthfully evaluate these things? Not that much, I can assure you. The average person is always lying to themselves to make sure they look good. But you know what and who doesn’t lie? Zikoko quizzes that’s what.

    Take this quiz and we’ll help you evaluate what kind of partner you are in your romantic relationships. Whatever the results are, don’t come for us; it’s all on you from there gong forward.

  • The Complete Guide to Being a Yoruba Demon

    The Complete Guide to Being a Yoruba Demon

    Originally published four years ago in November 2015, The Complete Guide To Being A Yoruba Demon is a Zikoko classic that we’ve brought back due to popular demand.

    Lagos big boy =/= Yoruba** Demon; But they do share some similarities. And contrary to popular opinion, anyone can be a Yoruba Demon.

    **Yoruba: (adj) Yoruba, as used here, does not refer to the tribe. The Term ‘Yoruba’ describes a heartless, cheating, lying person. Usually male.

    1. The White Trad.

    If you don’t have a white trad – Agbada, Buba and Sokoto – starched with tears and broken hearts, you’re honestly not ready to undertake this journey.

    2. The Black Trad.

    Wear it. Look devastatingly hot in it. This is for the elite club of lucifer’s henchmen. The Black Trad is for the higher ranking Yoruba Demons.

    3. A main phone…usually an iPhone.

    Always the latest iPhone. I’ll explain the reason in coming numbers.

    4. A supporting phone…Usually a Samsung Galaxy Mobile.

    Also always the latest model. I swear there’s a reason why.

    5. Dark shades.

    Aviators or Ray Bans. These are to protect your eye movements. You can be talking to one girl and impregnating scoping like 4 others.

    6. A Plush Ride…Toyota Camry and Above.

    Now, Lagos Big Boys can just show off their car keys. That’s not enough for a Yoruba Demon. You have to have the actual car. Girls have to see you in that car. How else will you convince them that you can take care of them?

    7. A main chic…an actual main girlfriend.

    The girl you show to the world. This is the person whose number you store on the iPhone. The one you love and plan to marry. Almost always an Igbo* girl. She can match you heartlessness for heartlessness.

    *Igbo: (adj) Igbo, as used here, does not refer to the tribe. The Term ‘Igbo’ describes a heartless – sometimes cheating – person. Usually female.

    8. Like 23 Side Chics.

    You populate the Samsung Galaxy contact list with these ones. They’re the ones you spend all your money on. But you never, EVER get photographed with them. That never ends well.

    9. A sincere smile.

    This is how you melt all girls’ hearts. When you smile, panties should drop, hearts should open, intestines should sing!

    10. A lying tongue.

    You cannot let them suspect you. You have to be a smooth operator. Lie circles around them. It’s your legacy.

    11. A gaping hole where your heart should be.

    See, this is the only way you can justify what comes next. You didn’t honestly think you could do this and remain human did you?

    12. Roaming eyes.

    Your eyes are constantly scouting for the next target. It’s a hard knock life, really.

    13. A Cheating Spirit.

    When you have no heart, a cheating spirit settles into where your heart should be. And you take your final place as a Yoruba Demon.

    14. A string of broken hearts in your wake.

    Break them! All of them. 10 broken hearts is nothing to a true Yoruba demon. Break them and walk way like a superstar!

    15. A long line of willing hearts in your future.

    As a Yoruba Demon, your work is never done. So you keep moving forward. Break more hearts and don’t look back.

    You’re welcome.

    Last, last sha, it’s you guys we will still marry.

  • The Yoruba Demon Guide To Break Ups

    Somewhere in Nigeria, a group of men are currently updating their list on how to beautifully ruin someone’s life with their charm.

    As they are updating that list, they are finding new ways to end one relationship with someone else.

    It could be you sis, or me. Actually maybe both of us.

    But don’t worry, I cracked the code so we can end this nonsense once and for all.

    So far, my investigation has shown the multiple ways a Yoruba Demon can break up with you.

    Now you can protect yourself. And if you’re lucky enough to see any of these signs before the set time, just run!

    The first thing I figured out is this: once you start hearing “it’s not you, it’s me”, please just agree, it’s him.

    Just leave him and let him date himself.

    According to the Book of Yoruba Demons chapter 7 vs 23, in some cases he actually loves you, but…

    …you’re too good for him.

    ”Baby, my pastor called me after church and told me we have to end it. He said you’re not the one for me”.

    But wait, Tobi you don’t even go to church.

    Once he starts fighting over every little thing, that’s the beginning of the end.

    “But why can’t you just fold the toilet roll when you finish using it? Ha!”

    “Sorry, the number you’ve dialed does not exist, please check the number and dial again.”

    Once you hear this more than 4 times, I’m sorry sis.

    Or you try to DM him on Instagram and as soon as you open Instagram you see a picture of his new babe.

    “No no no my eyes are deceiving me. I’ve actually needed glasses for a while now.”

    Or in most cases you don’t even get the opportunity to see his babe, because he has blocked you.

    At least what you don’t know won’t kill you.

    While you’re still in doubt, you head over to his house and that gateman you used to give 50 naira everyday comes out and says…

    …ha aunty, sorry o. Oga said I should not open the gate for you.

    The grandmaster of all their break up strategies. I don’t know if you’re ready for this one.

    “Please just say it, you’ve already started the damage anyway. What could be worse?”

    He sends you a wedding invitation.

    “She has fainted o! Sister wake up, wake up! Bring water o!”

    If you’ve never experienced any of these, I hope you don’t.

    And if you have, please tell us your experiences. Let’s be ready.
  • Tales of a Yoruba Demon: The Story of a Toasting Gone Wrong

    Tales of a Yoruba Demon: The Story of a Toasting Gone Wrong

    My people, it is not easy being a confam baby boy.

    You see, everything has to be on fleek. Hair; check. Clothes; check. Shoes; double check.

    You’ve got to get all the girls tripping from a mile away.

    When they see you coming, they have to feel your hawtness instantly.

    So that before you even start to talk to them they’ll just be like:

    But living that “always on fleek” life is not easy o.

    Being a baby boy has its own wahala.

    And sometimes, life will just come and mess up something for you.

    Don’t believe? Just see my story:

    That was how one day I was cruising around by my baby boy self. Doing some Yoruba demon prowling. You know. Regular stuff.

    Then I spotted this fiiiiiiiine chick!!

    I was like:

    And as the on fleek baby boy that I am, I walked up to her and instantly laid down my moves.

    I knew my shit was already working cause she was looking at me like:

    So I decided to quickly seal the deal.

    We went to one secluded garden place and sat on a bench.

    It was dark and I did not check the place before sitting down. But I was like, whatevs. MISTAKE!!!

    That was how, ten minutes into the talk I started feeling something moving inside my leg. But I shook it off.

    Eez nothing eez nothing. But the moving did not stop.

    Then suddenly, something chooked me inside my leg. I did not want to jump and scratch it so I just used guy.

    That’s how I now used my phone light to check the bench and saw all the ants holding themselves on top of it:

    I could not hold myself. I jumped from the bench and screamed. The babe was looking at me like this:

    Bros. Hafa na?

    I forgot I was outside. I removed my clothes so fast I could have won a world record.

    When I finished checking that the ants were no longer in my clothes. I dressed up again and just left the place.

    I didn’t bother to get the girl’s number. I didn’t need any reminders of that embarrassing moment.

    All through that week I really sat down to think about this my baby boy life.

    But no, I cannot stop. I’m a Baby Boy For Life!

    Maybe I wouldn’t have had such a bad toasting experience though if I had read this next post on how to toast Naija boy style.

    https://zikoko.com/list/naija-boys-toasting/
  • 12 Odunlade Pictures Every Yoruba Demon Will Relate To

    12 Odunlade Pictures Every Yoruba Demon Will Relate To

    1. You, devising new tactics to catch your prey.

    Have to be prepared.

    2. When you finally meet a light-skinned Igbo babe that is stronger than you.

    This one has passed me.

    3. When your girlfriend catches you in bed with her sister so you vex till she apologizes for coming home too early.

    Next time call before you come home.

    4. When you see your girlfriend you’ve cheated on 70 times shaking her male co-worker’s hand.

    These women ain’t loyal.

    5. When your girlfriend is bringing up marriage after just 7 years, so you dump her.

    Impatient woman.

    6. When you see your ex being happy and fulfilled without you in her life.

    See me see trouble.

    7. When your girlfriend accuses you of cheating but you’ve been faithful for 2 whole days.

    With all my effort?

    8. When you realize you have finally fallen in love.

    Hay God!

    9. When you see a babe you like and she is telling you she is married like that one is your business.

    Is that what I asked you?

    10. How you use N200 credit to call the 27 women in your life:

    As a professional.

    11. You, trying to deceive all your side chicks that your heart belongs to them.

    Only you baby.

    12. When you hear one of your 26 side chicks is leaving you to get married.

    The pain.
  • What Happens When A Yoruba Demon Finally Finds The One?

    What Happens When A Yoruba Demon Finally Finds The One?

    Gather round children!

    After decades worth of heartbreak records in the bag and oceans of tears used to starch his demonic Agbada, something surprising happens.

    A Yoruba demon finds the one!

    But what will he do about it?

    Like this Nollywood movie featuring Nigeria’s darling, Odunlade Adekola, this is what he would do.

    He rouses from the depths of slumber and looks upon his newly found bae and “guidance angel”.

    It must be at midnight, not at any other time! Maybe in better grammar sha.

    He resolves to have a change of heart.

    And stop all the plans of wickedness and heartbreak he initially had in stock for her.

    And with tears of passion in his eyes…

    He declares his love for her.

    And decides to marry her.

    And spend what is left of his demonic years with her.

    Will he be haunted by the ghosts of all the hearts he has broken? Will his true colours shine through that dazzling agbada of his? We wait!

    [zkk_poll post=22623 poll=content_block_standard_format_8]
  • Jessica Jones: All The Times Kilgrave Proved He Was A Yoruba Demon

    Jessica Jones: All The Times Kilgrave Proved He Was A Yoruba Demon
    Ever watched the Netflix hit show, Jessica Jones? Ever thought.. “there is something eerily similar between the Yoruba demons frequently described by Zikoko and the villain Kilgrave”? Yup! We feel the exact same way and we have all the evidence that Kilgrave is just like your evil ex boyfriend who just won’t let somebody prosper in peace!

    When he tried to come between your friendships like…

    And your friends never had anything good to say about your relationship.

    Because he often said things like…

    And had you hit rock bottom so hard.

    That on some days you just wanted to end it all.

    But when you tried to walk away he hit you with reverse psychology.

    But you knew he was the mad one because all his victims had a support group.

    So you gathered all your strength and left.

    And all your friends and family were relieved.

    You were finally free… for two weeks before he returned like..

    And tried to pile the love on thick.

    Then tried to scare away your new bae.

    And all you could think was… #EppMePlix!

    Because he was relentless in trying to get you back.

    Till you started to think maybe you could change him.

    So you told your friend you were thinking of going back.

    And he quickly started to show his true colours again…

    And even his father had to warn you…

    Because really, his plan was simple.

    But he didn’t know you’d finally toughened up.

    Guess who’s in charge now, bruh?

    Because life is really too short to stay with someone who makes you unhappy. Written by Zikoko contributor, Adebola Rayo.