weekends | Zikoko!

I don’t know if you’ve heard — probably because you’re still in the euphoria of the holiday weekend that just passed — but the next public holiday is in October, which means we’re back to the regular made-in-China weekends.

Here’s how you can make these short weekends longer:

Start your Saturday at 4 a.m.

This is what we call “beating the system”. Your day technically becomes longer, and you end up having a long weekend.

Announce a public holiday

Public holidays are all man-made, so what’s stopping you from announcing yours? Call it something like World Weekend Day, and get as many people as you can to jump on it. Simple.

Stay in denial

Again, no one laid it in stone that the weekend rest ends on Sunday. Just stay in denial and extend your weekend till the next Thursday. What’ll happen?

Call in sick on Monday

Don’t let your job stop you from enjoying a long weekend. Just call in sick on Monday and tell your boss you aren’t up to it. Problem solved.

RELATED: Nine Ways to Know That You’re Definitely Not a Monday Person

Quit your job

In the immortal words of Beyoncé, quit your 9-5 and enjoy a lifetime of weekends. Don’t stay shackled to the chains of capitalism.

Become an entrepreneur

Think about it. You can decide to take the whole Monday off, and no one will query you. Possible side effects include forfeiting your weekends entirely and never having time for yourself.

Encourage your co-workers to go on strike

In the event that you still need your job, another fool-proof method is to go on strike. People are just waiting for reasons to be angry, so fan the flames by mentioning that only your CEO has a Macbook or the tissue paper is just 1ply, then watch your co-workers do the Lord’s work.

Throw away your calendars and clocks

Delete the apps from your phone as well. So, technically, you didn’t miss work because you wanted to, but because you didn’t know.

NEXT READ: The Lagos Guide to Weekending the Proper Way

Tife Oni

July 15, 2022

Inside Life

Funny, Nigerians, Public Holiday, weekends
If you’re wondering what to do this weekend, then wonder no more. Take this quiz to figure out what to do this weekend

[donation]

Itohan Esekheigbe

August 13, 2021

In Your Feels, Quizzes

Quiz, Weekend, weekends
We don’t know about you, but for a lot of us, we would love our entire lives to be filled with weekends so we can have time to breathe and chop the life of our head. But we only just get two days out of seven. This post is our love story to weekends.

1. You, when you see that it is almost 7 PM on a Sunday evening.

Now the day is over, night is drawing near, shadows of the evening, steal across the sky.

2. How you think about Monday morning.

Why do I even have to work? Why? Can’t I just be a sugar baby?

3. You, when it’s time to prepare your outfit for work tomorrow.

It feels like I’m ironing my jail uniform. I hate it here!

4. And it hits you harder that you have to struggle to get to work.

So I have to trek again? Whew.

5. You, when you realise that the next weekend is still far away.

This world is not my home.

How Ready Are You For Monday? Take this quiz to find out. Quiz: How Ready Are You For Monday?

Kunle Ologunro

February 9, 2020

Inside Life

weekends
1. Having Akara/Moinmoin and Pap for breakfast on Saturday.

The sleep you will sleep after will be out of this world.
2. The weekly “environmental” or cleaning.

When you scrub your house spotless, or at least try to.
3. Attending at least one owambe party.

Is it even a weekend without attending at least one owambe?
4. Having fried eggs and bread for Sunday breakfast.

The best way to start a Sunday!
5. Having jollof rice for Sunday dinner.

The best way to end a Sunday!
Nigerian weddings are without a doubt the best part of every weekend and here are 6 reasons why:
https://zikoko.com/list/6-reasons-why-nigerian-weddings-are-the-best/

Ronke Otega

May 19, 2017

Oldies

Food, Fun, Nigeria, weekends
1. When it’s Monday and all you can look forward to is Friday.

Friday, where is you?
2. And in the middle of the week you make weekend plans with your squad.

This weekend will be lit!
3. When Friday comes and you swear you’ll enjoy this weekend.

Fun!
4. When work is over and you go straight home to rest for your fun day tomorrow.

Beauty sleep please.
5. When you wake up on Saturday morning and you tell yourself you’ll be in bed all day.

NO WORK!
6. When you remember that you have made plans to go out.

What have I done?!
7. When you realize that to go out you have to get up, have your bath and wear clothes.

I can’t do this.
8. But all you want to do is eat and sleep.

Let me sleep nau?!
9. When you start thinking about how you will get out of the plans you made.

Because I’m not leaving this house today.
10. And you start coming up with lies to tell.

“I died.” “My house burnt down.”
11. When you call your friends to ask if the plans are still on and they say yes.

Is this life?
12. When your friends call to cancel the plans.

YASSSSS!
13. You: “And I was already getting dressed oh…I’m so sad.”

*covers self well*
14. When another friend calls to see if you’re interested in hanging out.

No. No. No.
15. When it’s Sunday and you realize tomorrow is Monday and the weekend is basically over.

16. When you go to church and you pray that something happens and Monday is cancelled.

Fix this, Jesus!
17. When you wake up on Monday morning to go to work.

Still no fun last weekend. SMH!

Odunayo

May 9, 2016

Oldies

Nigerians, weekends

Start your Saturday at 4 a.m.

Announce a public holiday

Stay in denial

Call in sick on Monday

Quit your job

Become an entrepreneur

Encourage your co-workers to go on strike

Throw away your calendars and clocks

1. You, when you see that it is almost 7 PM on a Sunday evening.

2. How you think about Monday morning.

3. You, when it’s time to prepare your outfit for work tomorrow.

4. And it hits you harder that you have to struggle to get to work.

5. You, when you realise that the next weekend is still far away.

1. Having Akara/Moinmoin and Pap for breakfast on Saturday.

2. The weekly “environmental” or cleaning.

3. Attending at least one owambe party.

4. Having fried eggs and bread for Sunday breakfast.

5. Having jollof rice for Sunday dinner.

Nigerian weddings are without a doubt the best part of every weekend and here are 6 reasons why:

1. When it’s Monday and all you can look forward to is Friday.

2. And in the middle of the week you make weekend plans with your squad.

3. When Friday comes and you swear you’ll enjoy this weekend.

4. When work is over and you go straight home to rest for your fun day tomorrow.

5. When you wake up on Saturday morning and you tell yourself you’ll be in bed all day.

6. When you remember that you have made plans to go out.

7. When you realize that to go out you have to get up, have your bath and wear clothes.

8. But all you want to do is eat and sleep.

9. When you start thinking about how you will get out of the plans you made.

10. And you start coming up with lies to tell.

11. When you call your friends to ask if the plans are still on and they say yes.

12. When your friends call to cancel the plans.

13. You: “And I was already getting dressed oh…I’m so sad.”

14. When another friend calls to see if you’re interested in hanging out.

15. When it’s Sunday and you realize tomorrow is Monday and the weekend is basically over.

16. When you go to church and you pray that something happens and Monday is cancelled.

17. When you wake up on Monday morning to go to work.