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The race is on. It’s operation “Find love before Valentine’s Day”. Whether you intend to do that by entering someone else’s relationship isn’t the focus today. The focus is making sure your Valentine is a corporate girlie for these key reasons.
You won’t need to go over the top
She’ll be at work on Valentine’s Day, so no need to worry about spending the day at a resort or any crazy thing like that. What about after work, you ask? Traffic and the stress of capitalism will mean all she wants to do is sleep. Same applies to the weekend. Just get her a gift box and call it a day.
Or break the bank
She’ll appreciate anything you give her because she’s working class; she knows what it means to collect salary today and go broke the next.
You can easily be intentional with your gifts
Why buy a corporate girlie flowers when you can gift her a keg of fuel or bag of rice, and she’ll love you forever?
Behold our Valentine Special
We brought back three couples we interviewed in 2019 to share how their relationships have evolved in the last five years. This is the first episode:
You’ll get a gift too
One thing about corporate girlies is they aren’t stingy. Even if it’s singlet and boxers they can afford, best believe you’ll get something.
You can cheat in peace
Another good thing about her having to work on Valentine’s Day is you’ll have the time to take your other babes out. The “C” in corporate girlie stands for “considerate”. They just want to see other babes win too.
They won’t have time to cheat
The fact that she even has time to date you with all she has going on is commendable. If she ever gets tired of your cheating ass, she won’t even bother to do you back. She’ll just leave.
You’ll level up by force
How would you be with a corporate girlie and you aren’t killing it in your own field too? They aren’t about the mediocre life. So beyond Valentine’s Day, you’ll definitely level up or go home.
In case your corporate girlie search doesn’t work out, you can always make your boss your Valentine and try these gift options: 8 Totally Appropriate Things to Gift Your Boss for Valentine’s Day
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We got seven relationship people to share the dumbest things they’ve done for love and their stories are the only proof you need to confirm that truly, “Na mumu dey fall in love.”
But February is the only month in the year when we don’t judge people who have been, and are still, a fool for love.
Funmi*, 30
I went to undo my locs within 24 hours of getting it done because my guy at the time didn’t like it. My locs should be six years old now, but because of that stupid boy — whom I later found out had a series of ongoing relationships inside our relationship — they are now only three years old.
Dotun*, 28
I bought a dinner dress for my girlfriend with part of my school fees. Then I gave her my brand new phone and lied to my brother that it was stolen with my school fees. He gave me all his salary for the month and still got a new phone for me. She was my second girlfriend, and I intended to marry her three years after school. That never happened.
Feyi*, 31
Because of love, I travelled from Porto Novo (the Capital of the Benin Republic) to Ile-Ife at about 5 p.m. We got to the Sagamu interchange at about 10 p.m., and there was an ongoing armed robbery on the road. Nobody knew I was in Nigeria. My parents thought I was in Porto Novo… na me still end the relationship las las.
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Barakat*, 28
I borrowed ₦200k through a loan app for a guy I was dating. It ended in breakfast, and I never got my money back from him. It took me four months to repay the debt, and we had even stopped talking before I could complete it.
Damola*, 33
I travelled to Lagos from Ekiti to visit my man, but I didn’t get to see him until after three days. I was all alone in his house. When he finally came, he started ordering me around, and I obeyed every command. I cooked, cleaned, warmed water for his bath, and then he went out, saying he might not return that day. At no point did he ask how I was or how the trip to Lagos was. I always feel like slapping myself anytime I remember letting a man treat me like that.
Fisayo*, 24
I came to Lagos from Ife to visit a boy without informing my parents that I was back in town. My uncle saw me, but he wasn’t sure it was me after I denied him. He dialled my number on the spot, but thankfully, my phone wasn’t with me. I was holding a phone, so that was enough to convince him I was someone else. He went on and on about how God created people in twos.
John*, 48
I left Lagos for Osogbo on a Friday evening after work to pay my girlfriend a surprise visit at her school. Got there and met another dude in her hostel room. From the looks of it, they were cohabiting and were an item. She said he was her cousin who was squatting till he got his own hostel apartment, but it was an obvious lie. We all slept on the same bed together, and I left the next morning feeling like a grade 1 mumu man.
If you relate to this, you should read this story: 7 Things You Need if You Ever Want To Find True Love in Lagos
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There’s no bromance without romance. So while you might be paying that saxophonist to serenade your lover and annoy their co-workers, consider doing something for your bro this Valentine’s Day.
Here are some affordable and super thoughtful options:
₦10k cash in new naira notes
Before we go too far, have you considered giving your bro this ₦10k in crisp ₦1000 notes? In case you don’t know, the naira note is almost as scarce as the dollar these days. So make your friend’s life easier by being his personal Meffy baby.
A framed picture of his dream house
Since you can’t buy your friend his dream house, why not buy a picture of said house, frame it and give that to him today? This way, he’ll be gingered to double his hustle to afford the house every time he sees your gift. A good friend motivates in the face of sapa.
Tinder premium subscription
Who knows, your friend might find love on Tinder and make you his best man. Then at the wedding reception, you get to tell the story of how he met his bride on the dating app you paid for. Think ahead.
A PS5 stand
I get it. Your friend doesn’t have a PS3, four or five. But it’s the thought that counts, not the practicality of your gift.
5-in-one shampoo, conditioner, face wash, deodoriser and body wash
His babe already got him that casted 3-in-one shampoo, body wash and conditioner. While it shouldn’t be a competition between you and his madam, nothing stops you from going the extra mile with this thoughtful gift.
RECOMMENDED: We Hooked Up Before We Became Best Friends — Edem and Chide
A teddy bear
Boys need stuffed animals to cuddle too. Just because we grew up doesn’t mean we don’t miss our Pokemon and Barney teddies. Help your bro connect with his inner child today.
Ashawo shorts
The shorter the shorts, the better. Only enemies of progress buy shorts that touch the knees for their best friend. I’d like you to ponder on this for a minute: are you the weapon fashioned against your guy? You’d get him briefs disguised as short shorts if you’re not an opp.
₦10k fuel
Queuing at the petrol station to buy a keg for your friend is the highest form of intimacy in the year of our Lord, 2023. Go the extra mile so your friend can go a few more miles in their car.
Creamy pasta
Nigerian babes are not the only ones obsessed with creamy pasta. Whether or not we want to admit it, we men love some thick creamy penne pasta. The only difference is we don’t order it seven days a week. Buy your guy pasta, but remind him he has to pay for delivery because ₦10k can’t perform magic.
Flowers
Miley Cyrus asked us to be independent and buy ourselves flowers, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t treat your best friend to a beautiful-smelling bouquet today.
ALSO READ: My Bro: 8 of the Most-Read Stories of 2022
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Some say it’s the most wonderful time of the year. And while some girls are saying “awwww” at the gifts they received, others will be serving their partners breakfasts soon because they couldn’t pepper people on Obasanjo’s internet.
But regardless of what your case might be, do you know that there are some valentine’s gifts that can earn you prison time in Nigeria?
On February 10, 2023, the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) announced that money bouquets and money cakes are forms of Naira abuse. And according to Section 21 of the Central Bank of Nigeria Act, 2007, anyone found guilty of this offence is liable to six months imprisonment or a fine of ₦50,000.
But these aren’t the only forms of Naira abuse. Let’s take a look at the others.
Spraying money
Asking Nigerians not to spray money at a party is like telling us Ghanaian jollof is better. Many people would give you the side eye if you said to them that it’s a form of abuse and illegal.
Why? For many years, no one could point to anyone being punished for breaking this law, at least until very recently.
On February 1, 2023, a Nigerian actress, Oluwadarasimi Omoseyin, was arrested by the Independent Corrupt Practices Commission (ICPC) after a video of her spraying and stepping on the new Naira notes circulated on the internet. She’s still in custody in Kirikiri prison, awaiting her trial on February 15, 2023.
Defacing the Naira
It’s against the law to write or stain the Naira with oil or ink. The banknotes are supposed to be regarded as sacred, but we’ve turned them into jotters to help us note things down quickly. This is a serious offence coupled with the fact that this habit reduces the durability of the banknotes, which would cost the CBN billions to replace.
Selling the Naira
If we had a working country, many POS agents would be serving jail time now. Since the issue of the Naira scarcity, Nigerians have had no choice but to “buy” money at different rates from them. According to the CBN act, selling banknotes is illegal, but perhaps Meffy has decided to ignore this law for now, given his hand in the crisis we’re facing.
Rejecting the Naira
Many Lagosians have almost lost an eye because a conductor rejected their money. But according to Section 20 subsection 5 of the CBN Act, it’s against the law to reject our banknotes.
So don’t be scared whenever you’re on a bus and the conductor tries to reject your money. He can’t; the law literally backs you. The only issue is you might have to get used to using one eye, but at least you defended your rights.
And for my fellow single pringles on Valentine’s Day, love might be in the air, but it’s time for us to show how much we can hate.
Send a picture of that person that received a money bouquet today to the CBN so they can learn the sacredness of our Naira notes.
Join the Citizen Situation Room and Helpline on WhatsApp today, to get real-time gist and drama on the 2023 elections.
You should also sign up for our Game of Votes newsletter. We help you make sense of news jargon and keep you up-to-date, especially with election news. Make the subscription of a lifetime here.
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You can still find love before Valentine’s day. Take this quiz, and we’ll give you a pick-up line to land your dream partner.
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We already know you have coconut head, and that’s why you chose to fall in love after all our warnings. But still forget about celebrating Valentine for any of these valid reasons.
You’re broke
Do you know how much a single rose is? Have you seen the price tags on those Valentine packages? Even boxers and singlets are now expensive. If you know what’s good for you, cancel your plans.
No cash
Anything worth doing is worth doing well. So except you don’t mind trekking to the date venue or washing plates when your bank’s network disappears again, better cancel everything and sleep.
No fuel
If you manage to get cash, you’ll spend most of it on transport for you or the gift you want to send.
Love is wicked
Brick and Lace warned you, but you didn’t hear. Burna Boy predicted it’d end in breakfast, nothing. Even Omah Lay broke commandments for love that still ended in tears. Carry your slippers and run.
It’s just overrated
Every February 14, the same thing. Flowers, babalawo red and fornication. Aren’t you tired?
Your partner is cheating
Your partner didn’t fall asleep last night because they were with their actual partner. So please, why are you planning a surprise for them? Don’t be surprised when they make up an excuse to spend Valentine with their real partner.
Election is coming
Elections are just a few weeks away, and you’re thinking about love? Do you even have your PVC? SMH.
READ NEXT: Be a Vacuum. Air People This Valentine
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Because why waste money buying a gift when you can give yourself instead?
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You work hard, and you deserve nice things. That’s why we’ve come up with this list of things that we think will make every worker happy on worker’s day this year. Let’s go over the options we came up with.
1. Peace of mind
Because capitalism is stressful and you need all the peace you can get.
2. A playlist
It’s inexpensive and super relaxing. Put together a playlist made up of lo-fi music, rain sounds, and Celine Dion classics. You can’t go wrong with Celine Dion.
3. Money
Plenty of money. Especially if it’s in a foreign currency.
4. Their village people’s address
Maybe 2022 can be the year we all band together to fight each other’s village people. There’s no better gift than sourcing for all the village people’s addresses of your loved ones. It shows that you care about their well-being.
5. A pet
Because a small animal that loves and adores you is one of the best things you can own.
6. Crypto investments
Crypto coins like Floki. Yes, market dips can give you high blood pressure, but you’ll be grateful when the benefits start rolling in.
Here’s why owning Floki is a great idea:
- It is competing with the top cryptocurrencies in the market.
- Due to a partnership with CryptoCart, you can purchase items at stores like Amazon, Apple, eBay and lots more using your Floki tokens.
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Every holiday is stressful, but you see Valentine’s Day? That one is another level of wahala, and it’s not even an official holiday. From saxophonists and dispatch riders running helter skelter to single people pretending not to care that they’re booless, it’s always dramatic as hell. With music being the one thing that unites all of us — single, taken or betrothed — through the chaos and stress, we collaborated with TurnTable Charts to compile a list of the songs topping the charts this Valentine’s season. Looking at data from streaming and radio, these are the songs everyone is vibing to in the name of the Valentine spirit.
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14. Aye — Davido
Before Davido fell and found assurance, he reminded us that love doesn’t cost a thing when he dropped Aye in 2014. With artists dropping back to back bops that year, Aye had us in a major chokehold, especially when we remember the music video that felt like a scene from Super Story. This song is also a reminder that Davido has been seeing things in women’s eyes for a long time — first it was love, and now it’s waists. Interesting.
Standout lyric: “She no want designer. She no want Ferari. She say na my love o.”
Please, where can we find a love like this in these Buhari times? Boda David, show us the way.
13. Baby Jowo — Victor Uwaifo
We know people throw the word “iconic” around a lot these days, but Baby Jowo is actually super iconic. Over 30 years later and this song is still popping, either in its original form or the remix featuring 2Face Idibia. The fact that people are streaming it shows that it’s not only millennials and Gen Zs that love to celebrate Valentine’s Day, mummy and daddy do usually do love too, dears.
Standout lyric: “Ko wa fife tutu s’aya mi o.”
Hot love is good, but you see cold love? Much better mehn.
12. If Love is a Crime — 2Face Idibia
We can’t believe 2Face Idibia really sat down in 2006 to write a song about his willingness to be hunted down like bush meat in the name of love. We love love over here, but for us, that’s a little extreme. But isn’t that what love is about? Doing whatever it takes to prove how much someone means to you? Even though we can’t relate to most of these things because we don’t like to be stressed, there’s no denying that 2Face Idibia was in his premium lover boy bag when he dropped this jam.
Standout line: “Girl, if love is a crime then I’m willing to be wanted”.
Honestly, this is the energy we’re looking for in 2022.
11. Kuchi Kuchi — J’odie
Couples would probably hate us for saying this, but Valentine’s Day is not just about you and your annoying teddy bears and flowers, it’s for everybody. As much as the world has turned this season into a lover’s thing, the truth is, Valentine is a time for everyone to love and be loved. Jodie’s Kuchi Kuchi is a good example of the variety of love we can express this season as it talks about a mother’s love for her child.
Standout line: “You make me cry. Laughter is not enough. I’ve seen true beauty because I see you.”
Cue the tears. Awwwwwww.
10. Smile for Me — Simi
If there’s one thing we’ve learnt from listening to Simi’s music, it’s that this babe is always all in. From Tiff to Duduke, Simi doesn’t play when it comes to this love thing. On Smile for Me, we find her convincing her lover to take risk and succeed. Heartbreak is possible, but there’s also premium enjoyment involved.
Standout lyric: “I want to be the one wey you fit die for.”
Die? Simi, dear, love is great but let’s be calming down.
9. Melo Melo — Olamide
Olamide is hands down one of the most versatile acts on the Nigerian scene. Since dropping Eni Duro, the hitmaker has been consistent year after year with almost ten albums to his name. Although Olamide rarely puts out lovey dovey songs, Melo Melo is that one song on the rapper’s discography that really gets us in our feels. Do we understand half of the proverbs he’s using to declare his love? No. But that doesn’t make the song any less romantic to us.
Standout lyric: “I know I make some mistakes, but I don dey regret. Now I no go forget to cherish wetin we get.”
If you’ve ever dated a Nigerian man, you should be used to lines like this by now.
8. African Queen — 2Face Idibia
If we were ever invaded by aliens and they asked us for a playlist of the best Nigerian songs, this song would be on that list. But don’t worry, according to Hollywood, aliens don’t come to Africa, so we’re safe. This is definitely 2Face’s most popular song and rightfully so, because we’re convinced he put something in it. It’s been almost 20 years since he dropped it and we still feel butterflies in our bellies every time it comes up. This love thing sha.
Standout lyric: “I’ll give you my heart, my love, my body and my money”.
2Face, all of this is great, but we still want teddy bears and chocolate.
7. What’s Love Got to Do With It — Tina Turner
Omo, it’s looking like Tina Turner was doing this Blaqbonez love-antagonising thing long before he owned it. Like Ms. Tina said back in 1984, sometimes, love doesn’t pay. Just enjoy yourself and go. If you don’t involve your heart, the chances of eating breakfast or ending up in disgrace or with hot tears are pretty slim.
Standout lyric: “Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken?”
Where’s the lie? But will the heart hear word? No.
6. The Way You Make Me Feel — Michael Jackson
It’s Michael Jackson. Do we need to say more? Okay: It’s Michael Jackson.
Standout lyric: “Hey pretty baby with the high heels on”
If you like ballet flats or sneakers, just know that you were not MJ’s type.
5. E Be Like Say — 2Face Idibia
We know elections are coming soon, but it looks like some of you are mistaking February 2022 for February 2023 because this song clearly talks about politics. Then again, as we said before, Valentine’s Day is not just for romantic love. Maybe some of you just really love Nigeria and we can’t stop you from celebrating that love as well. Good luck!
Standout Lyric: “Another year has come, and now you want my trust once more.”
Ahh 2Face, they didn’t even wait for 2023 — the lies have already started.
4. Yes/No — Banky W
Are we the only ones who picture Adesua every time we listen to a Banky love song now? Even if the video has a different video vixen, a part of us just sees Mr and Mrs W. God, when abeg? After carrying our singlehood to Shiloh, we’ve decided to stream this song consistently as a way of ministering into our non-existent relationships as we anticipate a yes from above.
Standout Lyric: “Tired of running around no delay. Make you no go look Uche face”
Makes you wonder, who is this Uche Nigerian musicians always sing about?
3. Tonight — Nonso Amadi
There’s something about this song that makes us want to open a bottle of wine, dim the lights, eat dinner by candlelight and just have some much-needed romance time. With this description, it comes as no surprise that everyone else has been streaming this song to get in the mood for Valentine. Can you really blame us? Nonso Amadi knew what he was doing when he recorded this song and he didn’t come to play at all.
Standout lyric: “My girl, she got a gun in her hand. And she got one at her man”.
We don’t support violence here. More love, less guns please.
2. Joromi — Simi
We love a woman that shoots her shots. In this song, we find Simi shooting her shot at Joromi who probably just wants to drink Mojito and go home. To be fair, it’s Folabi we should all blame for telling Simi lies in the first place. Did Simi’s gragra work? Well, according to the video, it did. Therefore, we encourage you on this day of love to go forth and shoot your shot. If it fails sha, please collect your L and buy ice cream.
Standout lyric: “I dey give you signal. Why you no day see me ah?”
As much as we love Simi’s enthusiasm, it’s important to free that person once in a while. You’re a happening babe abeg.
1. Shape of You — Ed Sheeran
Fun fact: So Ed Sheehan wrote this song for Rihanna, but our good sis said no. Ed went on to sing this song and since it dropped, we’ve not known peace. It’s like the All I Want for Christmas on Valentine’s Day and honestly, we’re not mad at it.
Standout lyric: “The club isn’t the best place to find a lover so the bar is where I go”.
Really Ed, the bar? Why not use that app where people do usually swindle in the name of romance?
Single people, you think we don’t know you guys are the ones listening to all these songs? Nice one dears. Since couples are busy coupling, it’s only fair that you keep busy as well. Your turn is coming, have faith.
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Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to suck for single women, especially if you are single by choice. Here’s a list of things you can do for yourself on that day.
1. Take sick leave
Yup. You deserve it. It’s not easy to be single and live your life without good morning texts or flowers at your doorstep. Ask your office for the day off to rest and pamper yourself, my dear.
2. Take yourself out to lunch or dinner
Visit one of those over-priced restaurants around you and treat yourself to a large meal. After all, if you were dating someone, that’s what you two would have done.
3. Stay off social media
It’s going to be matching pyjamas Christmas all over again, except worse. If you’re not ready to see pictures of your ex or your crush coupled up, avoid social media on the 14th. A word is enough for the wise.
4. Sleep
Sleep is always an easy escape. The trick is to overeat, drink and let your body do its thing. By the time you wake up, it’s February 15th.
5. Read a romance novel
Novels are another cheap way to escape reality. The right romance novel will have you feeling like it’s you that is the apple of the protagonist’s eye.
6. Watch a serial killer documentary movie
They are intense and demand a lot of attention, leaving no space for any weird feelings that might come from being single on Valentine’s Day. Cook yourself a meal or order food in for an immersive experience.
7. Visit your parents
Even if no one wants to love you, your parents will always love you. Spend some time with them to remind yourself that you are loved. If that’s not an option for you, refer to number 8.
8. Plan a Galentine’s hangout with your friends
Galentine’s day is a day for women to celebrate their female friendships. It’s like Valentine’s day but for women. You can host a sleepover or see a movie at the cinema together. Either way, you’re spending time with your girls. Speaking of which, we at HER have something for you on Galentine’s day. Subscribe to the newsletter to be a part of it.
Subscribe to our newsletter here.
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It’s Valentine’s season and everyone is either waiting to receive a gift or making plans to get someone else one. Before you make any more plans, here’s a list of gifts Nigerian women are tired of receiving.
1. Flowers
Especially when it’s just flowers and not accompanied by anything else, like chocolates or an all expense paid trip to another country so I can disappear when we get there and never return to Nigeria. Just flowers? What are we supposed to do with that? Cook soup?
2. Sex
We have sex every other day.Why is Valentine’s Day own special? My dear, put your wallet to good use and buy her a proper gift. Then you can use sex to top off the night.
3. Babies
Very common with south south men. They won’t show up with a gift but they will give you all the sex in the world. Next thing you know, you’re with child.
4. Silence
Some women get silence on Valentine’s Day. This could be because they are single with no partner prospects or their partner found a reason to fight with them at 11:58pm on the 13th of February. Either way, silence is not a gift. Y’all fix up. Get a random woman a Valentine’s gift TODAY.
5. Non-alcoholic wine
Non-alcoholic wine is really just fruit juice in a fancy bottle disguised as wine. So please come correct. Don’t be confusing sisters, please.
6. Reaffirmation
Those cute, heartfelt messages are great, love, but where is your capitalism-endorsed proof that you love me? Miss us with that shit, abeg.
7. Dry cookies
Just order her lunch instead. Those dry ass cookies that can choke you to death if you eat them without a drink ain’t doing shit for anybody.
8. Cheap chocolate
Same WhatsApp group with cookies. Just say you hate her, take your Toblerone, and go.
9. Movie date
If you are not buying out an entire cinema for just you two, don’t bother. Let homegirl eat her cheap chocolate in the comfort of her house.
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Valentine is almost here and yet again, Nigerian men are bound to be on the unfair end of the gifting scale. The cycle of giving a lot and getting little in return has to end this Valentine.
What do you give a [stingy] woman who has everything? We have ideas.
1. Bagco bag.
You might not be able to handle all her emotional baggage, but Bagco will never let her down.
2. Wet lips.
A closed mouth is a closed destiny. You have just gifted her something that will lead to her acceleration in life.
3. Hand mirror.
When you give this to her, play “Jowo” by Davido: Look into my eyes oh, baby jowo. The way she will run to hug you ehn! Hmm.
4. Wig cap.
Who knows, the wig cap could be her secret charm into BBNaija this year. Nengi that wore it in the house kuku knew what she was doing.
5. Hardener.
You are making her nails hard, not her life. She should appreciate this.
6. Tights/Stockings/Pop-Socks.
You’re helping her look sexy on a budget. What else could she possibly want?
7. Greeting card.
Shebi she said words of affirmation is her love language? It has not changed. Buy greeting card and speak her love language to her.
8. Back scratcher.
You cannot promise to touch the deepest parts of her. But you see this back scratcher? It will touch her in places even you cannot reach.
9. Rubber.
Natural is the way, and that’s why you are giving her this to help her journey. Sorry if your babe is on gorimapa. Maybe buy her Damatol.
10. Pumice stone.
You’ve just saved her the cost of going to the spa for a foot scrub. This right here is an eternal subscription to a DIY pedicure, all natural.
11. Dunlop slippers.
For when her journey in life becomes too hard. Let her remove her high heels and wear this one.
12. Hair bond.
Somebody is bound to provoke her into fighting. She’ll use this scrunchie to pack her hair so they don’t pull it and win.
13. Ludo.
Give her something else to play with, in case she decides to play your heart.
14. Two Indomie and one egg.
One egg is now N50 in the market. If she does not appreciate it, then she is not worthy of your affection.
NB: Whatever happens between you and your girlfriend after you give her any of these gifts, you people should not call my name abeg. I’m busy shaving my own Valentine’s gift.
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Every year since you were born, you have experienced a Valentine’s day. Some might be good, some bad, but one always stands out. These seven women tell us about the best Valentine’s day they have ever had.
Ada, 33
I went into labour on the 13th of February. I had given birth before, but it was not as hard as this one so I was sure this child wanted to kill me. After over twelve hours in the labour room, I finally gave birth on the morning of the 14th. When I held my son in my arms, I felt so much peace. I would not say the multiple hours of labour was worth it, but it was really close. I gave birth to a healthy son, and no gift could top that. Except maybe a new car.
Zainab, 19
I was about seven-years-old in primary school. I had come to school in these red velvet trousers and a white shirt. When it was break time, the teacher gathered all the snacks we brought and shared it. After sharing, he asked that if anyone brought any gifts for anyone, they could give it to them. One boy in my class at the time walked up to me with a rose and a bag with a bottle of perfume in it. We spent the rest of the day passing notes to each other and it was so fun. I had only seen him once since we left primary school, but I was too shy to say anything. I want him to know that that was the best Valentine’s day I had ever had.
Yinka, 20
My friends and I are usually single around Valentine’s day, so last year we decided to do something nice for ourselves for a change. After saving up and getting our parents to contribute to our cause, the four of us were able to get an AirBnB. We wore our comfiest clothes and binge watched romantic comedies while we ate and drank. Having my best girls around me and just having a great time was such an amazing experience. That was also the day I discovered I was not as straight as I thought.
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Cynthia, 23
I have always loved flowers. Two years ago I mentioned to my current girlfriend that I had never gotten flowers. It was a comment I made in the middle of the conversation and I did not think too much about it, but she apparently did. I still do not know how much she bribed my friends to go along with the plan she had, but throughout the day they kept bringing me flowers with little notes from her. I felt so special and loved. At the end of the day when I went to her place for the dinner she made, she gave me this big bouquet. I couldn’t stop crying. It was so thoughtful and sweet.
Janet, 26
Since 2019 started, I had been complaining to my then boyfriend about how work seemed to have wanted to kill me. I had just started my own business, so I was constantly stressed. I was always tired, and I never ate enough food. The night before, he put off my alarm so by the time I woke up to get ready for work, it was about 10am. He gave me a bath, and made me akara and pap for breakfast. He drove us to a spa where he had booked an appointment and we had a couple’s massage. Then later, we went to dinner in a nice restaurant I had been wanting to try. It was so peaceful and calm. I felt so full of love, and the sex we had later was so amazing. 10/10 experience and I cannot forget it.
Anu
My best Valentine’s Day was actually last year. I’d just moved countries and started dating someone new. As a queer person, it was exciting cause I could be romantic in public. I got her flowers, made a jar of our favourite memories till that date, and tasks I could do for her. She got dressed up and took me to my favourite restaurant which was a steakhouse. She’s vegan, so I know that took a lot. She also got me the cutest and warmest indoor slippers ever because she knew knew my feet got cold easily. We booked a room for the night and I think the sex we had was probably my top 2 experiences and it was definitely not number 2.
Lillian, 18
It was in SS2 when I had a thing with this guy. I went out of the class and came back to find him and his friends smiling sheepishly at me. When I sat at my desk, I my put my hand under the desk only to find a fake rose and a letter on a piece of paper. I took both and ran to the ladies’ to read it because I was shy. He wrote a really sweet letter and poem for me. I memorized that poem and I could recite it off the top of my head for months.
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It’s that time of the year where couples are checking their account balances and wondering if they are willing to go broke just to buy a gift and single people are wondering if going to Shiloh is a tad dramatic. Let’s take a look into your future and tell you what you’ll be doing on Valentine’s Day.
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Have you ever wondered what a booless party would be like? Well, Captain Morgan decided we’d had enough of relationships folks stealing the show every February 14th, and so he threw a kickass party for everyone instead. Here’s how it went.
First, you can expect the ambience to pop…
Just take a look at the location. Isn’t it enough to put anyone in the mood for a fun time?
…and for the people to understand the assignment
The party got off to a beautiful start with people arriving in groups. Look at the fits! You can tell they knew how much fun they were coming to have that night.
Good music
Remember how we’ve all been threatening to call Rexxie for months? Well, Captain Morgan called him and he showed up at the party to give the people a night to remember. Chike, the boo of the booless also gave the people a show at the party. It’s a booless party, so it’s only right that the people get a boo for the night.
And lots of fun
As if having two performers for the night wasn’t enough, Captain Morgan brought Segun Johnson to hype people up for the night and make them lose the last bits of home training they thought they had.
And even more fun
That’s not all. There were more fun things to do at the party like card games, trivia games, word plays and photo booths all designed to make the people who came to the party have the best time ever.
Then a dinner experience to top it all up
In the end, it turned out that the Booless Party was all just round one, and a dinner party themed “Love Like the Captain” happened later that night to top it all up. This one featured lots of tasty meals, delicious cocktails, chills, and vibes all courtesy of Captain Morgan.
