Are you the type that stands in front of the TV while screaming frantically? Or do you only watch shows long after everyone has slept? This quiz knows the answer.
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Have you ever watched a Nollywood film or show and thought: “Why is this character so familiar?” You’re not alone.
From men who can’t handle the consequences of their blood money rituals to marine spirits who trap and steal men’s destinies after sex, these Nollywood characters are practically the same, but in different fonts. Fun fact: some are played by the same actors.
Ini Edo in Shanty Town and Sharon Ooja in Oloture
Description: The “employee of the year” candidate who’s willing to risk their life by going undercover to expose a dangerous underground crime syndicate. She can flawlessly switch from queen’s English to South-South pidgin without breaking a sweat. She may or may not know how to fight; you’ll just have to find out.
Dakore Egbuson in Isoken and Damilola Adegbite in Before 30
Description: The posh Lagos babe who’s highly successful, but no one cares because she doesn’t have a man yet. Her fashion game is on point, and she probably went to Queen’s College, but her mother only sees her as a miserable spinster.
Nadia Buari in Beyonce vs Rihanna and Genevieve Nnaji in Games Women Play
Description: The delusional girl who thinks the world revolves around her but ends up losing her man in a bet to a babe she thought was beneath her.
RMD in Shanty Town and Banky W in Sugar Rush
Description: The scary mob boss who can catch a bullet with his bare hands. He bathes in a pool of blood, but since I don’t have evidence, I’ll add “allegedly” so they don’t come for me.
Kate Henshaw in Blood Sisters and Patience Ozokwor in everything before she gave her life to Christ
Description: The mother-in-law women pray against at Shiloh. She’ll either frustrate you out of the marriage with insults or make you barren. It all depends on her mood.
Denola Grey in The Bling Lagosians and Zainab Balogun in The Wedding Party
Description: The party planner with the thick British accent whose razzness only comes out to play when they’re desperate. They’ve packaged themselves to the point that it’s hard to tell if even their name is real or made up.
Scar in Shanty Town and Makanaki in King of Boys
Description: The tatted-up bad guy we find sexy and terrifying at the same time. You want him to choke you sexually, but you’re scared he might take it too far. He’s also ready to betray anyone to get what he wants. No hard feelings.
RECOMMENDED: 20 Crazy Questions Everyone Who’s Seen “Shanty Town” is Asking
Bimbo Ademoye in Breaded Life and Bimbo Ademoye in Back Up Wife
Description: The funny village girl who can’t really speak English but ends up winning over the male lead with her charm and unassuming personality.
Regina Askia in Highway to the Grave and Ndidi Obi in Nneka the Pretty Serpent (Original)
Description: The marine spirit turned high-class babe who traps and torments men with her pumpum. Please, don’t play with her because she’s always down to put someone’s destiny inside a groundnut bottle.
Ini Dima-Okojie in Namaste Wahala and Ini Dima-Okojie in North East
Description: The girl who doesn’t see race, religion or ethnicity; all she sees is love. Her family will yell and shout, but this babe will always pick her man over anything and anyone. If love nwantiti was a person.
Iretiola Doyle in Fifty and Eucharia Anunobi in every sugar mummy role
Description: The sugar mummy who’ll spoil you silly. But don’t get it twisted; she’ll mess you up the moment she sees you spending her money on small girls. Try her at your own risk because her sugar can turn to agbo-jedi at any time.
Enyinna Nwigwe in Living in Bondage and Tony Umez in Billionaire’s Club
Description: The innocent-looking guy who did blood money rituals but can’t seem to face the consequences of his actions. You can’t turn your family into asun and think they won’t haunt you from the great beyond. It’s just one of the hazards of this life you chose, sir.
Read Jemima’s story here
ALSO READ: 5 People You Can Use For Blood Money According To Nollywood
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Do you think you can figure out these television brands with scrambled letters before the timer runs out? Find out now:
Questions
This is a question
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In this article, we gave you a little background information on Airtel’s “The Rainmaker” teaser and what we think it could be hinting at – a TV series, or another mind-blowing advert. Well, we’re back with more gist on that.
Asides being a period piece and starring Nollywood veteran, Jide Kosoko, here are other things we found out.
• It is part of Airtel’s “Data Is Life” advert series.
• Nigeria’s rich and diverse culture is on full display.
• The acting and storytelling is superb.
Airtel doesn’t fall hand; they keep keep dropping amazing on-screen content back-to-back.
Just see for yourself.
We love this whole cultural concept from “the smartphone network.” You should too. It’s available on Airtel TV if you’d like to rewatch the video. Also, stay alert on Airtel Nigeria’s social pages for more gist and get ready to #RepYourTribeWithAirtel as there’ll be prizes of up to 100, 000 Naira to be won.
Anticipate!
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If you’ve followed Zikoko for a while, then you know that we’re obsessed with ads. We’ve talked a lot about terrible Nigerian ads in the past so it’s only fair that we make noise when a brand makes an ad that blows our minds with its ingenuity. We’re here today to talk about the new ad for ALAT (the digital bank) titled: The Bank of the Future.
The ad begins with a voiceover asking this question:
We’re then shown a man in his living room. He’s on a video call with a coworker while working at a holographic table similar to the one Tony Stark uses in the MCU movies.
When the video call ends, he turns off the holograms and projects his computer screen onto the wall using his watch. Based on the things we’ve seen him do in this short time, it’s clear that this ad is set in a future where technology has greatly evolved. This is made even clearer when he calls out to his Digital Life Assistant named ALAT and she responds with a pun.
He acknowledges the pun with what can only be described as a “big man chuckle” and has her update him on his schedule. She does this effortlessly while also finding and buying a cheaper ticket for his flight, re-scheduling his workout time, and sending a grocery list to his phone. ALAT is clearly on some Artificial Intelligence shit.
On his way to the grocery shop, ALAT is telling the man where exactly all the items on his list will be in the supermarket when he spots a beautiful woman crossing the street with a box in her hands. This leads to the following interaction between the man and ALAT:
Artificial Intelligence: 1
Humanity: 0
We then see the man at the supermarket’s checkout counter after he’s done grocery shopping. To make sure he’s not forgetting anything, he asks ALAT if there’s anything else and she assures him that he’s all done. As he thanks her and leaves the supermarket, we get a glimpse of a holographic ALAT bidding him a wonderful day.
Look at her in the corner, serving iRobot realness.
The ad ends with this message:
Fin.
In this expertly made 1 minute and 39 second ad, ALAT (the digital bank) shows its plan to change the future narrative of banking by becoming a daily and integral part of its customers’ daily lives. It also highlights the role technology (i.e. Artificial Intelligence) will play in bringing about this future where banking won’t be just about financial transactions, it’ll be a lifestyle – powered by ALAT.
Check out the ad:
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On the 9th of June 2018, Linda Ikeji put out an announcement. She was launching a streaming platform which would feature a ton of movies and reality tv shows. The announcement was met with a lot of hype and some ridicule. What did a gossip blogger know about TV? Turns out, enough to get 10,000 subscribers in 3 days, according to Linda’s publicist.
Before the launch of the platform, Linda went on an aggressive marketing campaign. Teaser after teaser was released across social media for what promised to be entertaining, ratchet TV; not unlike her blog.
It took me 4 months to get sold, but I finally signed up. What was supposed to be a couple of hours of TV turned into a 24-hour binge of LiTV.
Reality TV?
The first thing that drew my attention to Linda Ikeji TV was the numerous shows which she touted as Reality TV. I dove into those first, starting with Girls Squad.
Girls squad is about 6 girls with an average age of 20, who somehow move in together into a fully furnished flat in Lekki, in what seems to be a 48-hour period (?).
The show chronicles their lives as they navigate living together. It is highlighted by endless hours of mindless chatter amongst the stars of the show. Asides an introduction in the first episode, we have no real clue as to who they are, what they like, what they do.
The whole two-episode season spans a little over an hour and nothing happens. Absolutely nothing. There’s no build up or climax or any form of character development. Where is the drama? Why aren’t wigs flying? Why aren’t faces being clawed at? Where is the drama I was promised?
From watching the show, you do get a sense that the conversations are genuine and non-scripted. Whether they do live in an apartment they paid for or whether they were just thrown together in a house big brother style is what I’m not sure of.
Most entertaining? Oyinbo Wives of Lagos
The first season of Oyinbo Wives starts slow. It opens with Kenny. A Nigerian woman married to a French man having breakfast with her husband. Who happened to be her French tutor before they somehow ended up in the bedroom. Right off the bat, we see her tell her husband the breakfast is just a ruse to get money from him. This is followed up with an aside where she says she was surprised he used a condom the first time they have sex. And that sets the tone of the whole show.
Next up is ‘sexy feisty’ Mitchelle, who sounds an awful lot like Bobrisky. Next is Linda with a y, the resident diva. And then Beatrice who dominates in the bedroom because apparently – “when you’re married to an expat the competition is crazy”. Then there is Oby who is married to a Croatian and isn’t after her husband’s wealth. We meet Oli later who has just come back from vacation later in the episode. The episode is highlighted by a series of dramatic face-offs between the wives. Unlike with Girls Squad, you are guaranteed to be thoroughly entertained.
King Tonto is here.
I went from Oyinbo wives of Lagos to King Tonto, which starts of with the star of the show–Tonto Dike, promising a drama filled show. Disappointingly the most dramatic thing to happen in the first episode is Tonto Dike reacting to an interview (which just happened to air on Linda Ikeji TV). In the interview, the split between her and her ex-husband was discussed. We are then made to suffer through a grating clip where we hear Tonto Dike’s manager telling her to ‘just move on’ and ‘let it go’ instead of speaking out on domestic violence. Tonto uses the opportunity to speak against domestic violence.
Throwing it back with ‘The Classics’
‘The Classics’ is an interview show with some of our favourite music and movie legends. From Sunny Nneji to Baby Fryo to Segun Arinze. And it’s arguably one of the best things to watch on LiTV. Even though the first episode I watched started with the Interviewer mispronouncing Baba Fryo’s name then asking where he was from, I’m looking forward to more episodes.
Magodo Moms And Their Single Friend
Linda Ikeji is not the Queen of Clickbait for nothing, and LiTV is proof. And it’s the only reason I found myself watching ‘Magodo Moms And Their Single Friend’ at 2 in the morning. As you already guessed it is about 4 mums and their single friend. I was hoping for an ‘Oyinbo Wives of Lagos’ level of entertainment with the show. Turns out your life is a whole lot less exciting when you are not an Oyinbo wife.
Nigeria’s Tallest Man
Another personal favourite is ‘Agoro’ a documentary focused on the life of Nigeria’s tallest man. Growing up I’d run into him during supermarket runs with my mum or stops at the filling station and stare in awe. It was a pleasant surprise to see that someone had finally decided to tell his story.
By the time I was done I had so many questions for the team at LiTV? Who did the casting for these shows? When did shooting happen? Where did she find the cast? How can so much bad TV exist in one space? Could she be modeling her strategy after Netflix’s ‘bad TV strategy’?
It was super annoying that one episode didn’t run into another on the mobile app. And I had to go back to the home page to select the next episode. Felt a lot like a bootleg version of Netflix.
I was however impressed by the fact that Kannywood was given its own section, with more than half a dozen movies.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t somewhat entertained. Will I be renewing my subscription? Maybe for the Second Season of Oyinbo Wives of Lagos.
