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The struggle of having a hard to pronounce name in Nigeria is very real. On most days you wake up wishing your name was Jane Doe just so you don’t have to deal with Nigerians just being Nigerian about your name. If you have a name like Eghwrudjakpor Onovughakpor Onovughe then we are sure you can relate to these struggles.
Nobody ever gets the spelling right, infact they don’t even try to get it right.
Yes there’s a ‘k’ in between that ‘v’ and ‘w’ oya correct the spelling
You spend way too much time trying to teach people you just met how to pronounce your name
And they still won’t get it o
When they finally give up and ask you if you have a middle name
Yes I do it’s ‘Esereshareberuo’
If you are not careful they’ll vex and skip past your name at passport office
Nobody has time for your ten syllables name
Sometimes you even need a nickname for your nickname if you are smart you’ll have like three backup nicknames
Stay ready
Some people even start getting angry because they have to pronounce it
“You sef how you go get this kind name” Sorry sir, it’s not my fault sir
When someone asks you to pronounce it for them for the 20th time in a row
See ehn just call me ‘esss’ I won’t be angry
Everyone always wants to know the meaning and origin of your name
Please stop disturbing me
When you are waiting to hear your name on a roll call and the person calling the names suddenly starts stuttering
Don’t stress yourself, I’m here
When people start making the same old jokes about your name
“Ah this your name will make me bite my tongue o” Bite it now
You don’t bother correcting people when they get your name wrong you just answer anything they call you.
“Minisoware” Iminiovwerha but close enough
Even your closest friends still manage to mess it up years after meeting you for the first time
Judging you
After what you’ve suffered your promise to give your first child a name like Bayo Ojo
It’s only right
When you meet someone who gets the pronunciation of your name on first try
Are you sure we are not related?
Even the people from your daddy’s village don’t know how to pronounce the name
So where the hell is my name from?
Do you have a hard to pronounce name? Which other struggles did we leave out?
Especially when they’re abusing you and smiling at you at the same time!! Like, WHY?!!
But you will hear some Hausa insults that will make you do like this:
It will hit you DEEP in your soul.
And don’t even let us get started on Warri people and “YOUR PAPA!”,
But what would you expect? Warri people NO DEY CARRY LAST before!
It’s quite obvious really. Every Nigerian language has some pretty strong insults in their vocabulary that’ll make you go:
WHY DO YOU HATE ME LIKE THIS?!
So we want to know, what are the craziest insults in your language?
Feel free. Don’t hold back. Let’s know what insults are lurking deep in the recesses of your mother tongue. Tell us the craziest insults in your language, (along with an English translation of the meaning as well as the tribe) and if it’s a really good one, we’ll feature it on our next Zikoko Readers’ Choice post!
