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Dear Nigerian Women, Let’s Talk About Your Flirting Skills

Before Nigeria even existed, a prophecy foretold that the women of this nation wouldn’t know how to flirt. Unfortunately, it came to pass, and Nigerian women started doing some ridiculous things they call flirting. We need to have a discussion so Nigerian women can answer for their crimes.

Staring is not it

If you like, stare at them for three business days, it won’t make them know you like them. If anything, you come off as a weird person, and they’d want nothing to do with you. Try striking up a conversation. You won’t die. Don’t be looking at them like you’re trying to see into their future.

No, they can’t read your mind

You can’t expect them to know you find them attractive. Humans aren’t born with the ability to read minds. If you can’t open your mouth and them they look beautiful, rest.

Calling them “big head” isn’t enough

When flirting with someone, calling them names is juvenile. You’re not a child, you’re an adult who can articulate your feelings. Yet, you’ll be wondering why they friendzone you. Babe, you’re coming with the energy of a friend, why won’t they treat you as such?

RELATED: The Passive-Aggressive Ways Nigerian Women Show They’re Annoyed

“Sir” doesn’t work either

For the women who flirt with men by calling them “sir”, why? How deep are your daddy issues? You don’t even call the person who pays your salary “sir”, so why this?

“Let your girlfriend not come and beat me o”

Aunty, ask if they have a girlfriend first. If you’re scared of someone coming to you as a woman, declare your interest and wait for what they have to say.

RELATED: Nigerian Women Should Stop Apologising for These 9 Ridiculous Things

Constantly saying “fine boy like you”

If he’s a fine boy, he’s a fine boy. Stop trying to sneak in compliments. “Fine boy like you, how can you say…” Even secondary school children are more direct than this. Pay the compliment if you want to.

Liking multiple pictures

Everyone likes pictures. Just because you’re liking multiple pictures doesn’t mean anything. Try sending them a DM instead. That’s how things work.

RELATED: How to Identify a Woman That’s Just Come Out of a Relationship

Itohan Esekheigbe

November 14, 2022

Her

flirting, Funny, Her, listicle, Nigerian women, toasting
All The Times Nigerian Ladies Were The Absolute Worst At “Shooting Your Shot”

We always tell guys to “shoot your shot”. Set that P. Seize that bae. Slide into that DM. History has made men the initiators of love and relationships.
But that history is changing. Men aren’t the only ones taking a bold move. Women are coming out to stake their claim as well.

However, according to this guy, it appears we’re doing a shitty job at it.

Girls shoot the shittest shots
— … (@Unkle_K) May 24, 2017

If you’re a lady and you’re trying to shoot your shot by liking all of a guy’s pictures and tweeting at him, you’re doing it all wrong.
He just won’t plain see it.

I can never see the signs 😪
— … (@Unkle_K) May 24, 2017

If you want to successfully shoot your shot, you’re going to have to be VERY obvious with your signs. Just, maybe not this obvious:

https://twitter.com/_clvrarose/status/867447272342253569

If you’re going to try and shoot your shot, maybe don’t start a convo like this:

https://twitter.com/smish001/status/867425713464500224

And know that liking his pictures on IG isn’t enough:

https://twitter.com/Lord_Lightskinn/status/867491312374865920

You also shouldn’t expect him to get the hint just because you RT or like his tweets.

https://twitter.com/dephrank/status/867431866219073536

Generally, just don’t bother trying to drop any hints. Guys don’t see them.

https://twitter.com/_HeroOfStLouis/status/867496030308376576

You have to be as clear as day. No dropping small small hints like salt bae.

Instead, go straight to the point.

Lmao what exactly do you want. "Hi, I like you, can we be friends? " Shey that's what we should do?
— Tumini Abbey Ordu (@TutuAbbey) May 24, 2017

Appaz, “Hey, big head”, is also a good way to go.

she shoulda added, "Hey, Big head " 😁. That, fam, is declaration of intent.
— Temitope- The Joyful One! (@TopeSofe) May 24, 2017

But wouldn’t life be easier if guys could just take a damn hint already!

Just take the damn hint pic.twitter.com/i87RNOGnAs
— Alexis Johnson (@alexis_lorenn) May 24, 2017

Seriously guys, you might want to pay more attention to the people liking your tweets.
Don’t come and be a slacking pant like this one:

So if a female likes @ least 2 of pics then it's a sign of interest in me? Wawu! I don dull
— Obinna Isaac (@Obaino_Isaac) May 24, 2017

The truth is, when a girl likes a guy, she just tries to respect herself. Just see:
https://zikoko.com/list/25-things-happen-like-boy-youre-trying-respect/

Ronke Otega

May 25, 2017

Gist

Girls, Guys, relationships, toasting
Tales of a Yoruba Demon: The Story of a Toasting Gone Wrong

My people, it is not easy being a confam baby boy.

You see, everything has to be on fleek. Hair; check. Clothes; check. Shoes; double check.
You’ve got to get all the girls tripping from a mile away.

When they see you coming, they have to feel your hawtness instantly.

So that before you even start to talk to them they’ll just be like:

But living that “always on fleek” life is not easy o.

Being a baby boy has its own wahala.
And sometimes, life will just come and mess up something for you.

Don’t believe? Just see my story:
That was how one day I was cruising around by my baby boy self. Doing some Yoruba demon prowling. You know. Regular stuff.

Then I spotted this fiiiiiiiine chick!!

I was like:

And as the on fleek baby boy that I am, I walked up to her and instantly laid down my moves.

I knew my shit was already working cause she was looking at me like:

So I decided to quickly seal the deal.
We went to one secluded garden place and sat on a bench.

It was dark and I did not check the place before sitting down. But I was like, whatevs. MISTAKE!!!
That was how, ten minutes into the talk I started feeling something moving inside my leg. But I shook it off.

Eez nothing eez nothing. But the moving did not stop.
Then suddenly, something chooked me inside my leg. I did not want to jump and scratch it so I just used guy.

That’s how I now used my phone light to check the bench and saw all the ants holding themselves on top of it:

I could not hold myself. I jumped from the bench and screamed. The babe was looking at me like this:

Bros. Hafa na?
I forgot I was outside. I removed my clothes so fast I could have won a world record.

When I finished checking that the ants were no longer in my clothes. I dressed up again and just left the place.

I didn’t bother to get the girl’s number. I didn’t need any reminders of that embarrassing moment.

All through that week I really sat down to think about this my baby boy life.

But no, I cannot stop. I’m a Baby Boy For Life!

Maybe I wouldn’t have had such a bad toasting experience though if I had read this next post on how to toast Naija boy style.
https://zikoko.com/list/naija-boys-toasting/

Ronke Otega

May 9, 2017

General

baby boy, Story, toasting, Yoruba demon
The Naija Boys Guide To Toasting

Most Nigerian guys have similar techniques when it comes to talking to girls. So here’s a list of the most common lines used by our beloved Naija boys:
1. “Eskiz me sister”

I’m not your sister, please go and be unfortunate somewhere else.
2. “So where do you base?”

MTV base ni.
3. “Can I have your contact?”

Yeah…. No.
4. “Send me your pix”

Oga, respect your life.
5. “What are you wearing?”

The blood of Jesus please.
6. “How many boyfriends do you have?”

Is it your boyfriend?
7. “Have you eaten?”

Yes, I have. Can this conversation like end now?
8. “So what are you doing?”

Sigh.
9. “Tell me about yourself plix”

Kuku kill me.
10. “You look very familiar, is your name Yvonne?”

Now walk away slowly.

Sharon Abraham

July 5, 2016

Oldies

Nigerian boys, nigerian guys, toasting

Dear Nigerian Women, Let’s Talk About Your Flirting Skills

Staring is not it

No, they can’t read your mind

Calling them “big head” isn’t enough

“Sir” doesn’t work either

“Let your girlfriend not come and beat me o”

Constantly saying “fine boy like you”

Liking multiple pictures

All The Times Nigerian Ladies Were The Absolute Worst At “Shooting Your Shot”

But that history is changing. Men aren’t the only ones taking a bold move. Women are coming out to stake their claim as well.

However, according to this guy, it appears we’re doing a shitty job at it.

He just won’t plain see it.

If you want to successfully shoot your shot, you’re going to have to be VERY obvious with your signs. Just, maybe not this obvious:

If you’re going to try and shoot your shot, maybe don’t start a convo like this:

And know that liking his pictures on IG isn’t enough:

You also shouldn’t expect him to get the hint just because you RT or like his tweets.

Generally, just don’t bother trying to drop any hints. Guys don’t see them.

You have to be as clear as day. No dropping small small hints like salt bae.

Instead, go straight to the point.

Appaz, “Hey, big head”, is also a good way to go.

But wouldn’t life be easier if guys could just take a damn hint already!

Don’t come and be a slacking pant like this one:

The truth is, when a girl likes a guy, she just tries to respect herself. Just see:

Tales of a Yoruba Demon: The Story of a Toasting Gone Wrong

My people, it is not easy being a confam baby boy.

You’ve got to get all the girls tripping from a mile away.

When they see you coming, they have to feel your hawtness instantly.

So that before you even start to talk to them they’ll just be like:

But living that “always on fleek” life is not easy o.

And sometimes, life will just come and mess up something for you.

That was how one day I was cruising around by my baby boy self. Doing some Yoruba demon prowling. You know. Regular stuff.

Then I spotted this fiiiiiiiine chick!!

I was like:

And as the on fleek baby boy that I am, I walked up to her and instantly laid down my moves.

I knew my shit was already working cause she was looking at me like:

We went to one secluded garden place and sat on a bench.

That was how, ten minutes into the talk I started feeling something moving inside my leg. But I shook it off.

Then suddenly, something chooked me inside my leg. I did not want to jump and scratch it so I just used guy.

That’s how I now used my phone light to check the bench and saw all the ants holding themselves on top of it:

I could not hold myself. I jumped from the bench and screamed. The babe was looking at me like this:

I forgot I was outside. I removed my clothes so fast I could have won a world record.

When I finished checking that the ants were no longer in my clothes. I dressed up again and just left the place.

I didn’t bother to get the girl’s number. I didn’t need any reminders of that embarrassing moment.

All through that week I really sat down to think about this my baby boy life.

But no, I cannot stop. I’m a Baby Boy For Life!

Maybe I wouldn’t have had such a bad toasting experience though if I had read this next post on how to toast Naija boy style.

The Naija Boys Guide To Toasting

1. “Eskiz me sister”

2. “So where do you base?”

3. “Can I have your contact?”

4. “Send me your pix”

5. “What are you wearing?”

6. “How many boyfriends do you have?”

7. “Have you eaten?”

8. “So what are you doing?”

9. “Tell me about yourself plix”

10. “You look very familiar, is your name Yvonne?”