Tired | Zikoko!

Oh Shit! It’s Wednesday Again

We all complain about Monday being the most annoying day of the week. The weekend is too short; you blink twice and it’s Monday. Ain’t nobody wanna fuck with that. But what if Mondays weren’t the worst days? What if I told you the real evil of the week is Wednesday?

RELATED: Why It Sucks to be the Middle Kid in Nigeria

When you have a job, typically a nine to five, only two days of the week matter to you, Mondays and the weekend (and it’s been established that the weekend lasts only two seconds).

This is the last time Wednesday is going to go unnoticed and we’re here to call it out for the evil that it is.

Wednesday is the petulant middle child nobody really focuses on. The child that’s comfortable being an evil genius wrecking havoc.

1. Wednesday is an attention seeker

Wednesday is so loud for no damn reason. It’s like all the work you procrastinated on Monday and Tuesday found a way to settle on your desk on Wednesday. Now, those tasks aren’t just on your desk, they’re screaming for all your attention as if you’ll die if you don’t do them.

2. It’s not the weekend, but acts like one

A liar and a dirty bitch is what Wednesday is. It’s going to deceive you that it’s the weekend so you can get comfortable and get carried away even though it’s still screaming at you to do some work. Wednesday seems to have issues picking sides. Sir, are you inside the week or weekend?

3. Wednesdays are so long!

Wednesdays go on forever. You’d typically expect that from Mondays, but since Wednesday lacks personality and likes to be like everyone, it went and got some of Monday’s traits too. Even the spelling is so long.

4. Wednesday encourages day drinking

It’s obvious by now why we should all come together and abolish Wednesday. Anything that makes you want to crack open a bottle of gin in the middle of the day definitely doesn’t have your best interest at heart.

5. Why does it like sitting on a fence?

Girl, pick a side. Are you a reminder that the weekend is close or are you simply here to let us know that the week is still long? Imagine being an attention seeker and a confusionist from a fence. Wednesday, please nau.

6. Wednesday is mid

It’s the middle of the week and it’s automatically mid. No matter how hard it tries, it can’t be greater than its destiny. It’s also so annoying, the days that come after it say “t”f??

ALSO READ: 12 Memes That Explain Why Thursday Is the Best Day of the Week

Ibukun

April 13, 2022

Inside Life

Tired, wednesday
8 Annoying Things Ibadan People Are Tired Of Hearing

People who live in Ibadan always have to put up with the condescending things said to them by people from other states. If you are one of those people who likes saying these things to Ibadan people, please stop. It’s getting too much at this point.

1. “Ibadan is so cheap!”

Oh really? Ibadan is so cheap because Ibadan residents usually pluck money from the sky, abi? Please and please, don’t say what you don’t know. Yes, the cost of living in Ibadan might not be as high as some other cities, but things are expensive in Ibadan too, and people are trying their best to get by.

2. “Ibadan is local.”

Sorry oh, Americanah. Because you have heard Ibadan described as “the city of rusted brown roofs”, you have suddenly come to the conclusion that Ibadan is a village, isn’t it? Na wa. We advice you to visit Ibadan and see for yourself before you jump into any conclusion. You will be surprised to see some parts of Ibadan that are just as bubbly and developed as Lagos, if not more.

3. “Ibadan babes are so razz.”

Okay nau, shebi you have met and dated ALL the babes in Ibadan, that’s why you were able to come up with that statement, right? Please and please, stop the ugly stereotyping. It doesn’t look good at all. Ibadan babes are running things, just like the babes in other states of Nigeria. If you like, move mad, they will clear you like grass.

4. “Omo Ibadan, kinni so?”

This sentence is so 1960. Please dead it. When someone tells you they are from Ibadan, resist to ask them “Kinni so?” Before someone takes it personal and shows you pepper.

5. “Houses are very very very cheap in Ibadan.”

Is that so? Okay nau. Pack your bags and relocate to Ibadan first. Anything your eyes, better take it like that. Shebi houses are very very very cheap in Ibadan? Don’t worry, that thing you are looking for, you will soon see it.

6. “Amala is the only enjoyable thing in Ibadan.”

As per Ibadan people eat Amala for breakfast, lunch and dinner, right? Maybe they even use Amala as a snack, you know? Perhaps they even use Amala dough to make their meatpie. After all, “AmAlA iS tHe OnLy EnJoYaBlE tHiNg In IbAdAn.” See your mouth.

7. “Ibadan people like cursing.”

Okay, and so? Please say something new.

8. “N15k can feed 3 people at a fancy restaurant in Ibadan.”

This came up during a conversation about budgeting N15k for a date in Lagos. Someone said N15k can feed three people at a fancy restaurant in Ibadan, and the first thing I thought was, “Is it buka food you people want to eat or what?” You people really need to stop being parochial about Ibadan, please. Ibadan is a baddie, and it’s not pleasing me and my homegirls whenever people try to rub Ibadan in the dust.

Fix up, please.

[donation]

Kunle Ologunro

October 23, 2021

Inside Life

ibadan, Lagos, statements, Tired
10 Things To Do When You Experience Burnout At Work

Burnout at work can occur due to several different reasons ranging from lack of rest to being overburdened with work and sometimes even demotivation. There are several things you can do to either get your energy back in ways that can improve your work performance. Here are some things you can do when you experience burnout at work.

1. Have sex.

Good sex is a good motivator, yes, quote us anywhere. You are mentally burned out not physically burned out. Sex can help you get excited enough to get some work done. Do not have sex with a co-worker sha, don’t let them share their burnout with you.

2. Workout.

Working out is a good way to get your energy level back up. Although, I personally do not understand the concept behind being mentally stressed and being physically in pain at the same time. Anyway, it’s still worth a try.

3. Turn off your work alarms.

Turn your alarms off so you can get more time to rest. It’s only the living that can work anyway. You should also sleep past your usual wake up time. If your employer asks you why you got to work late, tell them it’s because you want to live a long life and you didn’t come to this life to suffer for someone else.

4. Activate your inner Olivia Pope.

Drink as much wine as you can and make sure to drink directly out of the bottle.

5. Delete all your work apps.

Slack and co have to be gone from your life when you are experiencing a burner. Your employer can talk to God instead of talking to you. The only downside to this is the possibility of your employer filling your slot while you were on a short break.

6. Binge from morning till night.

Watch all your favourite shows while your employer talks to God about what you are dealing with. You never know the kind of inspiration you’ll get from a show or what the show can teach you about your job.

7. Tell your co-workers to cover for you.

We are only suggesting this one so it won’t be like we like to give bad advice all time. Beg your co-workers to fill in the blanks for you and be ready to do the same for them when they are in your shows.

8. Request for some time off.

Even if you have no more leave days left, find a story for HR. You can tell them your great grandma’s uncle died and you have to be at the funeral. Be very creative with your lies, please.

9. Tell your employer that you’ve passed on to the great beyond.

This isn’t a dramatic thing to say, since burnouts oftentimes feel like mental death. Let your employer know you are mentally dead and won’t be available for living people’s tasks. Except they are comfortable working with ghosts.

10. Quit your job.

Tell your employer you are no longer interested in working with them and you’ll appreciate a mental health cheque with your severance package.

Ibukun

September 16, 2021

Inside Life

stress, Tired, work
6 Things In Life That We’ve Had Enough Of
It is big big 2021, where cars are powered by electricity. Yet, so many things are still the way they’ve always. We know somethings are due for an update, whether man-made or God made update. Here’s a list of things that we’ve had enough of:

1. Pregnancy

To be honest, it’s about time babies start growing in labs or stuff like that. The idea of pregnancy is so old school and outdated. If humans are so important, there should be an easier, mor practical way to bring about our existence.

2. Working for money.

As big as money is, it can’t grow on trees by itself? We should be able to pluck money from trees by now. The concept of work is very flawed and outdated.

3. Cooking

Food should be downloadable by now. We should no longer be stressed out by cooking or thinking of what to eat.

4. Periods

Periods are so dramatic and painful. 3-5 days of suffering because a woman didn’t get pregnant?. Peak dramatic. Periods need to be abolished.

5. Blue balls

I can only speak on what I’ve heard. But having super painful balls because a guy couldn’t bust a nut is also very unnecessary.

6. Bonus point; Nigeria
God abeg.
Ibukun

July 16, 2021

Inside Life

Adult, Adulthood, Tired
QUIZ: How Burnt Out Are You?

Burn out happens when you’re going through a lot of stress, especially at work. Take this quiz to find out how burnt out you are.

[donation]

Olufemi Fadahunsi

June 24, 2021

Quizzes

burn out, Tired, work
10 Motivational Quotes To Make You Feel Better About ‘Wasting’ Your Day

“The best way to start your day is by reading a productivity article” – Excerpt from one of the many how-to articles I have opened in my browser.

It’s easy to feel bad for abandoning your work especially when you spent all day reading articles on how to get said work done. Summer child, feeling bad is counterproductive.

Whenever you start to feel bad, start your day with some of these aspire to perspire cuisine. In no time, you’ll be back to wasting your day with your chest.

Xoxo.

1) “Rest and be thankful.”

Okay? Who cares if your KPIs are left unattended to. Rest and be thankful, summer child.

2) “What is worth doing well is not worth doing at all.”

Think about it. Especially in Nigeria.

3) “Just because you take breaks doesn’t mean you’re broken.”

Needed to hear this tbh.

4) “Relax and rejuvenate your sacred-spirit.”

Omo ologo.

5) “How beautiful it is to do nothing, and then to rest afterward.”

Mood.

6) “Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is relax.”

7) “Ah! There is nothing like staying at home, for real comfort.”

Send to your work group chat with no comment.

8) “Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness.”

9) “Life isn’t as serious as the mind makes it out to be.”

Note to self.

10) “Learn to relax. Your body is precious, as it houses your mind and spirit. Inner peace begins with a relaxed body.”

Hassan Yahaya

June 22, 2020

Inside Life

motivation, Tired
If The Inner You Is A Tired Person, You Can Relate

“One more stupid Coronavirus WhatsApp voice note and I swear I will be sick.”

I don’t know about you but I am tired. Tired of the news and social media and everywhere I turn to. I just want to sleep and wake up when all of this passes. I mean I know I complain about life all the time but ahan. Not like this. Small play.

Here is a list of all the things that have added to my already existing tiredness in these trying times:

Fake news.

Pls, this is not the time to be unfortunate. Let’s kindly be guided. Fear kills faster than any problem.

Paranoia on whether or not I washed my hands.

Did I wash my hands after touching the tap after I finished washing my hands?

Over information.

Let NCDC do their work in peace. Why are we bringing screenshots from each announcement to Whatsapp? Too much is happening too fast. Let’s slow down a bit.

Nigeria.

Wish me luck with social distancing.

Suspense.

It feels like the calm before the storm because we are all imagining the worst-case scenario for us here.

PS: If the world was ending you’d come over right? right?

What’s up, Zikoko Fam? It would mean the world to us if you spared a few minutes to fill this Reader Survey. It’s so we can bring you the content you really want!

Hassan Yahaya

March 23, 2020

Inside Life

Tired
The 10 Faces of “I’m Tired Of This School”

By the time you leave a Nigerian university, you’re probably thinking of yourself as a worn-out old person who can’t wait for a new life.

That’s because, by your third or fourth year, you’re probably saying this a lot – “I’m tired of this school”.

Becoming jaded takes time though.

Was it not last week that you took photos at Motion Ground and printed 20 copies for posterity?

Remember your face when you found out you’d been accepted into a university.

When you saw you wouldn’t have to write JAMB for one more year and you promised God that you would change the world.

Then you found out you had joined a glorified secondary school.

But you were still full of hope. Nothing could take you down.

But it all changed the first time your lecturer said you wouldn’t make it in life.

FY bro. Can you make an electro beat on FL?

Then ASUU collaborated with Thor to strike for the whole year

Because the thunder that should fire them is already keeping you at home.

When you decided you would make the best of the situation

“If we no get joy, wetin we gain” – Victor AD, 2018.

Then your grades started twisting and turning.

Looking at exam results like somebody has stolen your brain. That’s the only explanation.

The first time you got bullied.

You thought this thing ended in secondary school. Now you’re asking God why this particular affliction rose a second time.

That time you considered not going back after the holidays.

What’s the worst that could happen? Sell pink lips cream at Computer Village?

But you certainly look forward to joining the old guard in 400 level

It is your duty to maintain balance and order, one that is fulfilled by sharing wisdom in the form of parables like “Alligator na lizard wey go gym”.

Then it all comes to an end – and there’ll be only one song on your lips.

Welcome to the real world, the labour market, the school of hard knocks or whatever depressing name people use to describe life after university.

It’s true that things are hard out here but it’s down to how much effort you want to put in.

In the immortal words of the urban philosopher, J.Cole, “choose wisely”

Segun Akande

December 3, 2018

Campus

campus, student, Tired, undergraduate, University
All The Things Nigerian Girls Are Tired Of Hearing

1. ‘So when will you marry?’

2. ‘Can you cook? I know you can’t cook better than my mother sha’

3. ‘What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done with a guy?’

4. ‘Remember when you and this person dated?’

5. ‘Ahan, introduce me to your friend now’

6. ‘Was it your sugar daddy that bought your car for you?’

7. ‘Would I cheat on you? She’s just somebody my mommy said I should help’

8. Our personal favourite: ‘is this how you’ll behave in your husband’s house?’

Ladies, what are you tired of hearing?

Boyin Plumptre

January 14, 2017

Oldies

Nigerian, Tired, Women
Have You Ever Been Tired Of Everything?

1. When you wake up already tired of life.

2. When you want breakfast and it’s bread again.

3. When you enter your car and see deadly traffic, again!

4. When your boss starts looking for your trouble and it’s not even 11 am.

5. When your co-worker brings out their smelly lunch and you almost pass out.

6. When you get another query at work.

7. When you get a message from your girlfriend and apparently you’ve done something wrong again.

8. When you get home and apparently the transformer has blown again so no light.

9. When your friend gets promoted and you are still there at your job just looking.

10. When you realise it’s all a dream and you just woke up and have to actually experience everything for real.

Jola Ayeye

December 23, 2016

Oldies

frustrated, mid life crisis, sad, Tired