tips | Zikoko!

Growing older means having friends scattered far away, and in some cases across the world. If you’re looking for ways to help you maintain those long-distance friendships, you’ve come to the right place.

Save their country’s time zone and national holidays on your phone

For people trying to navigate long-distance that cuts across time zones, you should try saving the country’s time and holidays calendar on your phone. That way you have an understanding of some references they bring up. Lass lass, if the friendship eventually scattered, you’ve learnt something new.

RELATED: 6 Reasons Why Friendship Breakups Hurt More Than Anything

Sync your calendars and create a mini schedule of their day

Have a general idea of what they get up to during the day so you’d figure out times to catch up that doesn’t require your schedules to clash. Imagine trying to video call your friend as they’re about to perform surgery?

Don’t miss out on any free time

Whatever opportunity you both have to spend together either virtually or physically should be snatched up like dollars. They won’t come as often as you’d like, but when they do, hoard it like Nigerian officials hoard palliatives.

Schedule check-ins with each another

Sometimes, there just isn’t any free time, so the best bet you have is to make some. It could be anything from five minutes to one hour of your day, but the sacrifice is worth the time.

RELATED: #ToHer: Our Friendship Feels Like Drinking Garri on a Hot Day

Pick a method of communication that works for both of you

You should choose apps that you both spend enough time on and can communicate seamlessly. This way, you can stay in touch.

We have the internet, use it

There are so many hacks, links and plug-ins that allow you to share content with the people you care about. You can watch videos with them, play games and also share the music you’re currently listening to. If data prices are going to keep rising, might as well make spend it on your friendship.

Itohan Esekheigbe

August 4, 2022

Ships

Advice, Friendship, long-distance, Relationship, Ships, tips
Unfortunately, not everyone is born a great kisser. It’s a skill some people have to develop and improve. So, if you’re one of those who want to become a better kisser, here are seven kissing techniques to level up your kissing game.

Good breath is holy

You don’t want to be kissing someone with a smelly breath. It leaves a wrong first impression, and they’ll never want to try it again. You do want to make sure you have decent hygiene, brush your mouth twice a day and floss often. Also, little things like popping a mint in your mouth shortly before you go in for a kiss helps keep things fresh.

Be comfortable

If you’re uncomfortable with the person you’re kissing, you probably shouldn’t be kissing them. If you’re nervous, you should do something to calm yourself down. Remind yourself that this is someone you actually want to be kissing. You can also sing a little song or do what calms you on a regular day. If you’re too nervous or anxious, it can ruin the mood. Plus, you may weird your partner out.

Suck lips. Don’t swallow

When people say they want to swallow someone, it’s a joke, abeg. Please, the lips are not for swallowing. They’re for nibbling and sucking on. NOT SWALLOWING. If you want to swallow, try pounded yam.

RELATED: QUIZ: We Can Guess When You Had Your First Kiss

Move your arms around (with permission)

Nobody wants a stoic kisser. Hold their face, their hands, their waist, something. But before you hold them, let them know. Ask for their permission so you don’t freak them out. You don’t want a slap to be what breaks the kiss.

Try not to stare

Because you’re not a creep. The expected behaviour when kissing someone is to have your eyes closed. If, for some reason, your eyes are open, try not to make it weird. If you’re staring at them like that, they’d be able to tell because your eyes will be poking holes in their skin.

Don’t think about it too much

The problem is when you start analysing every aspect of the kiss. Relax into it and have fun.

Ask questions

Feedback improves service, so don’t be afraid to ask the people you kiss what you think can be done differently. Their feedback can help you in the long run.

RELATED: 12 Nigerians Talk About Their Worst Kissing Experience

Itohan Esekheigbe

July 28, 2022

Ships

better kisser, kiss, Relationship, Ships, tips
Back in the day, literally all shopping was carried out offline. Now, you can even lie in bed and shop for groceries online. One less thing to stress about as you hustle for your daily 2k.

Your online shopping experience could even be made better with these following things:

1. The wisdom of your forefathers

Shopping is addictive, and your cart is filled enough. Wisdom will prevent you from impulsively spending all the money you’ve saved for japaing on one handbag.

2. Discounts, discounts, discounts

Shopping is much more fun when you are saving some coins, yes or yes? If your favourite shopping store doesn’t give discounts, fight them.

3. A password even the Devil cannot guess

How long will you keep using 123456789 and your birthday in reverse as your password? It’s 2022, fix up before one hacker will access all your card details and wipe your account clean.

4. The patience of a snail

Not every shiny, carefully photographed item on a e-store is the real deal. Patience will prove helpful in getting value for your money. Unless you want to keep regretting a hasty purchase till you clock ninety.

5. Doorstep delivery

Wouldn’t it be cool if you could shop globally and get your order shipped right to your doorstep? If you live alone and are trying to prevent the whole of Nigeria from knowing you even have money to order stuff from the abroad, this option is perfect!

Are you an online shopper? You’ll love this.

Discover the joy of shopping in the US, China, UK and Turkey amongst other countries with 32 S&S addresses worldwide. Why wait? Sign up with Shop and Ship today.

For more information, visit ShopandShip.com.

Susan Nwaobiala

February 2, 2022

Inside Life

online shopping, Shopping, tips
In case you haven’t heard, Davido jokingly asked his fans to send him money. He didn’t even mention “fans” per se. Here’s what he said:

If u know I've given you a hit song .. send me money …. una know una selves oo 😂😂😂🥰🥰🎉🎉
— Davido (@davido) November 17, 2021

And in less than one hour, he has received close to 73 million naira.

Let’s face it: this can never be your portion or my portion. It’s not a curse oh, but who have you given a hit song that will send you this amount of money? Where is your Anon? Ordinary 2k that you asked your followers, they did “eyes right” and aired you like a dirty rug.

The solution to this is to find a way to make Davido share his giveaway with you. At all at all na im bad pass. Even if you get 5k out of his 73m, it is still something. Now follow our advice so you can secure your own bag. Hurry now before the door of favour closes.

1. If you’ve ever insulted Davido, start deleting your tweets.

You never know when the devil will arise on top your case. Tweets that you made out of jest, haters will pull them up and say that you are an enemy of Davido. And that has disqualified you. May we not use our hands to tweet away our blessings. Amen?

2. TELL HIM YOUR NAME IS FLORA!

Davido has a song called “Flora My Flawa.” You ought to know this if you want to share his bag with him. So, better start telling him now that you are the Flora he sang about. Enter his DMs on Instagram, Twitter and even Facebook. Reply every post by asking, “Davido, Flora your flawa is withering. I am dying. Please water me with money.” By the time you frustrate his life, he will give you small change.

3. Tattoo his face on your body.

Choose a very conspicuous spot. You can tattoo him on your back, or between your breasts or on your upper arm. Now post that picture everywhere until you secure interviews in every major gossip blogs in Nigeria. Shame will catch him and he will decide to give you money so you can rest. And if he doesn’t give you anything, don’t cry. Try the next step.

4. Tell him your owo ori is just 100k.

He kuku said it in “1 Milli” that if your bride price (owo ori) is 1 million dollars, he would pay it. Help him to beat the price down. Tell him it’s just 100k pere, and you can collect the payment in instalments. 10k for 10 weeks. Don’t worry, he won’t demand to marry you. He already has enough pretty women to deal with.

5. Lie that you went to the same school and that you were best friends.

Just come online and say that you and Davido attended the same secondary school and that you lost contact after your father was posted to Ougadougou to fight in the Kutupakutupa war, and that you did not have any internet, so you couldn’t locate him. Say that you wrote plenty letters, but they returned unread. Davido is kind-hearted, he might even invite you to his place to confirm your story. Once you are alone with him in private, just fall down to your knees and start telling him about your generational poverty. You will leave there with nothing less than 1 million naira. E sure me die.

6. Pray and fast.

Invoke the help of God. This should be your prayer point, “My father my father, I want to reap where I did not sow. The same way you denied King Xerxes rest until he answered Mordecai’s call for help is the same way you should deny Davido rest. Let him not sleep or eat until he shares that money with me.” Speak in tongues and pray naked. God will probably answer you because He doesn’t want to see your filthy nakedness.

7. And if prayer doesn’t work, use juju.

Davido’s real name is David Adedeji Adeleke. Herbalists usually require the full name. Do with that information what you will.

8. And if everything fails completely, take Hauwa’s advice.

When you secure that bag, don’t forget to give us our cut, otherwise we will tell the whole world what we cooked that burned the whole house down.

[donation]

Kunle Ologunro

November 17, 2021

Inside Life

Davido, giveaway, tips
If “Oh Lord, I want to look younger than my age” has been your prayer point for a while now, it’s time to receive the answer in Jesus name. No need to go on dry fasting anymore. Just follow these tips to look younger than your age till people start to beg for your secret.

1. Avoid “Mary amaka” clothes

When it’s not like you are auditioning for a role as somebody’s mother.

2. Avoid being born in Nigeria

Tell the angels to reassign you by whatever means possible because Nigeria will have you looking fifty at 22.

3. Divorce stress

It has only wrinkles and health wahala to offer you. What you need is a baby girl or boy lifestyle.

4. Throw away your makeup box

If you want the “I-woke-up-like-this no make-up look, then your make-up box actually has to go. The younger you want to look, the less you should have on your face.

5. Avoid eating eba

That food is ghetto, and anyone who offers it to you hates you. Do this all your life and old age will have nothing on you.

6. Ditch tired wigs

We painstakingly watched “Swallow” and identified the kind of tired wigs you should avoid. Unless you want to look as tired as the wigs, go for another look.

7. Use camera filters

Life doesn’t have to be so hard. If you urgently need a fix for looking ten decades younger, then simply befriend the filters on all your social media apps. Problem solved.

8. Throw your phone away

Depending on how badly you want to look younger, this shouldn’t be hard to do. Here’s why: all those late nights spent pressing your phone could be channeled into getting your beauty sleep and rest. This is one of the secrets to looking vibrant, young and fresh. If you like, say it’s a lie.

9. Invent a time machine…

…But for age-related concerns. All you need to do is to permanently set the machine to a particular time when you believe you looked younger. Sweet sixteen here you come.

10. Avoid this kind of make-up

In the name of everything you hold dear, don’t do this to yourself, sis. If throwing away your make-up box as suggested in tip four above is too extreme, the least you can do is get a pro make-up artist to do right by your face.

11. Stop wearing “to match”

You don’t want to come off as desperate, love. Subtlety is best.

12. Avoid gbese

Being an onigbese will age you faster than Nigeria ever can. Pay all your debts today and let those distributing young looks locate you.

13. Know your angles

Maybe the reason why you look older in photos is because you don’t know your angles. You need to befriend a photographer ASAP to put an end to that.

14. Learn how to crack jokes

People won’t notice that you look older when they’re busy slapping their thighs and kikiki-ing. Pinky swear.

15. Shave your head

Although, before you do so, here are some things you should know about going bald. A shaved head creates an illusion of looking way younger than you actually are. You could ditch tired wigs for this, yes?

16. Drink your early morning pee

This is the big secret all the cosmetologists and experts have been keeping from you, but here you are, discovering it for free. Go and do the needful.

17. Avoid Yoruba men

They will disgrace you and add ten years to your look by the time they’re done toying with your heart. Don’t say you weren’t warned.

18. Fake it till you make it

You’ve been hearing that you can be anything you set your mind to be, yes? Now’s the time to believe and act on it.

Susan Nwaobiala

November 8, 2021

Inside Life

Age, beauty, tips
Many women around the world tend to have issues with finding a bra that fits right because they don’t know their bra size. With all the letters and numbers, it can get pretty confusing. If more people know how to measure bra size, then it definitely will make buying bras easier. Well, to save you all of the discomforts of an ill-fitting bra, grab your measuring tape, and follow these instructions so you know how to measure your bra size.

Band Size

To measure under your bust and get your band size, you should wear your best fitted unpadded bra or no bra at all. You should also make sure you are 100% comfortable and at ease. Your breathing should be relaxed and you shouldn’t suck your stomach in or hold your breath. Measure under your bust, which is where your band will rest. Note the measurement and round up to the nearest even number.

Bust Size

While wearing your best fitting bra, take the measuring tape and measure the fullest part of your bust. Make sure the tape is snug but not too tight and comfortable but not too loose. Take deep breaths to make sure breathing is comfortable and make sure you’re not holding your breath or sucking your stomach in. If what you measure isn’t a whole number, then round it up to the nearest whole number.

Cup Size

Cup sizes might vary depending on the maker of the bra, but having your bust and band size make it easier to navigate. To get your cup size, you should subtract your band size from your sup size. Whatever difference you get will determine your cup size.

Difference Cup Size
less than 1 AA
1 A
2 B
3 C
4 D
5 DD
6 E
Using the UK size chart

With all the information provided, you should be able to accurately measure your bra size, and find bras that fit comfortably.

Why is it important to know how to measure bra size?

It is important to know your bra size because it makes buying bras very easy. No longer will you go bra shopping and have to guess what kind of bras will fit. It helps you save money, and will reduce the clutter in your house because you stop buying bras you no longer need.

Knowing how to measure your bra size also helps reduce the pain felt when you wear a bra that fits wrongly. It elevates pressure on the chest and makes wearing a bra feel more comfortable for your body type.

Itohan Esekheigbe

September 17, 2021

Her

Bra size, life hacks, measurement, tips
With the way Nigeria is hot, you’d think Hell was full so they brought some of the fire here. Since people have been complaining of the heat, we decided to tell you ten ways you can stay cool.

1) Become a rainmaker

You think it’s a joke, but once you become a rainmaker you can summon the rain as you wish and cool your head. The only problem with this is your clothes might get wet, a lot. Wet clothes are a small price to pay if you ask us.

2) Japa

Simply buy a plane ticket and travel to countries that are in winter. The weather is so cold that heat will be the last thing on your mind. Wahala for who no get money to travel sha.

3) Change the weather on your phone

It’s all a matter of perception right? If you edit the weather on your phone, your brain will think it’s cold and as such, you won’t feel heat.

4) Become a mermaid

Once you become a mermaid, you can swim in the cold rivers and oceans for as long as you want. The only problem is that they may think you’ve become an agent of darkness.

5) Sleep in NEPA office

Pikin wey say papa no go sleep, the pikin sef no go sleep. Since they’ve refused to give you light to cope, be sleeping in their office every night until you get the light. By the time you camp there for seven days in a row, they’d meet your demands.

NEPA officials to you

6) Car AC

If you have a car, simply just sit in there with the AC on. You can work from there, sleep there, even eat there. Yes, fuel is expensive, but na who never melt dey queue for fuel.

7) Go to the bank

The best part about banks is not the television that always plays CNN, but instead the cold AC. Just sit down in the banking hall and receive cool air. It’s kuku your money.

8) Nap in your fridge

With the amount of money you’re spending on fuel, you better get your money’s worth. When you put on your fridge, you can try having a nap inside. You’re taking chilling with the big boys to a brand new level.

9) Beg Nigerians to stop fornicating so much

The friction from all the fornication Nigerians are doing is probably the number one cause of heat in this country. If you beg Nigerians to stop fornicating, the temperature will go back to normal and everyone will be fine. Also, if you’re one of the people fornicating, stop. Please. Before all of us melt and die.

10) Purchase a ticket to heaven

If hell is hot, then heaven must be cold. That’s why you need to find whoever is selling tickets to heaven and obtain for you and your loved ones. At least in heaven they don’t take light. Everlasting AC.

What will help us stay cool is money, so please send us some

[donation]

Itohan Esekheigbe

November 26, 2020

Inside Life

Hack, heat, tips
Welcome to adulting 101, you should be jotting down these points:

1) Share something cool you learnt about Nigerian history with them.

So @FolaFagbule and I recorded the first in our series of podcasts on the themes, ideas and events in our forthcoming book. Short and sweet. Please follow this link to listen (Still waiting for Apple to approve!). And subscribe too! https://t.co/QhR2ocus7S
— tyro (@DoubleEph) June 17, 2020

2) Complain about children of nowadays not receiving the kind of discipline you did.

Kids these days.

3) Talk about starting your own business.

…because salary is the bribe they give you to forget your dreams.

4) Tell them you prefer the music from their time over pangolo music these days.

5) Explain the many merits of eating at home instead of going out.

There’s really rice at home.

6) Mention something about politics.

We have enough ~~politicians~~ clowns to get source materials from.

7) Bring up the back pain.

To be honest, there’s no real adult that doesn’t have back pain. Or any kind of pain for that matter.

8) Follow up by talking about work lethargy.

Especially on Monday mornings!

9) Lastly, tell them you are thinking of marriage.

Bingo!

Hassan Yahaya

June 22, 2020

Inside Life

Adult, Nigerianparents, tips
1. Keep a change of clothes in the car, for “just in case” owambe parties.

2. You can never have enough small chops. Eat until you burst.

3. There is no such thing as an uninvited guest, just a pleasant surprise.

4. At family parties stay away from those aunties that are just looking for nieces and nephews to frustrate. Don’t be a victim.

5. When someone that’s had too much to drink wants to get behind the wheel, you’re like:

6. When you’re tired, remember that party season is the best season!

7. Check Zikoko every single day so you have a permanent smile on your face.

Jola Ayeye

December 25, 2016

Oldies

christmas, Funny, tips, Zikoko Guide
Launched in 2014 by 25 year old Nigerian, Angela Nwandu, The Shade Room is one of the fastest growing gossip blogs in America.

Following the death of her mother and separation from her father, she went through several forms of abuse in the foster system and still managed to bag a scholarship to study Accounting at Loyola Mary Mount University.
Few lessons can be learned from her style of work and gradual takeover of the blogging world and here are some of them:

1. Put your Instagram page to good use.

https://www.instagram.com/p/_9wkC1y2C9/?taken-by=theshaderoominc
Rather than posting just celebrity thirst traps, Angela is able to find the juiciest celebrity amebo on Instagram. If Rick Ross makes a comment, she sees it. If Nicki Minaj likes a photo or unfollows someone, The Shade Room notices. We’re not saying Instagram is only good for amebo though.
2. Give credit to whom it is due.

https://www.instagram.com/p/_-oNmPS2Br/?taken-by=theshaderoominc
Not every time steal people’s pictures, sometimes credit your sources. The Shade Room plans on buying images once the company is able to afford exclusive photos.
3. Celebrities are your friends.

In the shade room, celebrities like Chris Brown and Khloe Kardashian have felt comfortable enough to air their views without trouble in the comment section. In simple terms, don’t “carry your shoulder up”.
4. Obstacles can be overcome.

Despite getting shut down twice, they managed to recover the over 2 million followers on their Instagram account. This sounds familiar but we’re not mentioning names sha.
5. Write about other important stuff.

https://www.instagram.com/p/_x6FwAS2L4/?taken-by=theshaderoominc
Issues such as the Black Lives Matter hashtag and a bit of politics have been mentioned on the platform. Unless you like being known for being only good at spreading gossip sha.
6. Avoid blogging about seriously controversial issues.

The Shade Room has in the past posted content that was thought by the readers to be ignorant or racist. Angie has since then decided to educate herself and steer clear of such issues.
7. Not everybody’s business is your business.

After the dramatic events that followed the release of a transgender woman’s photo with Rich Homie Quan, extremely sensitive information such as private sexuality are no longer discussed on The Shade room.
What other blogging tips can you think of?

Maryam

January 5, 2016

Gist

Angela Nwandu, bloggers, bloggng, bog, gossip, Instagram, lessons, The shade room, tips
In Tiwa’s voice, “Who no like enjoyment?” Definitely not you, and here are 5 Ways to ensure that happens.

1. Follow the success hacks from Obi Cubana

If you apply 1-8 religiously, enjoyment will become your first name. Find all the hacks here.

2. Look for where there is enjoyment

How will enjoyment find you when you are always in your room? Toh.

3. Speak it into existence

Say this first thing after you wake up until it manifests: “I deserve a soft life full of enjoyment.” Highly effective.

4. Look for money nobody is using again

Why use yours when someone somewhere has money they’re no longer using? You just have to look very well.

5. Enroll for Jobberman’s Soft Skills Training

This will help you climb the ladder of enjoyment faster than a lizard.

Susan Nwaobiala

July 22, 1921

Inside Life

enjoyment, Sponsored Post, tips