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thief | Zikoko!
  • Almost Had My Phone Stolen By A Pickpocket in Lagos, Here’s What I Did

    I have always heard stories about how one has got to be sharp if you are walking on the streets of Lagos so you don’t end up saying, “Had I known,” to your friends and family while crying tears of blood.

    Oftentimes, I laughed it off, because who could be sharper than someone born in Lagos? But, I was about to find out that there are different levels to this astuteness.

    As a frequent user of danfo buses, warnings of keeping one’s devices secure while in a moving bus, especially during traffic always rings in my ear. “Keep your phone inside your bag o, don’t use it so close to the window,” is the most popular warning.

    I usually pay heed to it, because of the countless horror stories I have heard, but always with the believe that no one could ever steal my phone. Remember, sharp girl?

    I knew the right spot in the bus to sit, so nothing like that could happen to me; in the middle seat of the middle row in the bus. Just perfect.

    And if I had to sit somewhere else, I’d look for a seat partner with great body bulk, to shield me from any thieving hands that might come my way. But, that night was a lucky day for the pickpocket who would have been The Flash in an alternate universe. I wasn’t sitting in the middle and my seat partner was thin and asleep, leaving the window wide open.

    Then I saw the pickpocket, felt his arm against my hands.

    My sixth sense had alerted me to the pickpocket who had been speaking with a friend of his, walking down the busy Oshodi road nonchalantly. All I remember thinking at the time was that he looked odd, kind of like he was lounging, which didn’t fit the night scenery of such a major bus-stop in Lagos.

    But, I forgot all about the thief when my bus zoomed pass him, after being in standstill traffic for 15 minutes. Until–I saw his hands grab the phone I was holding onto. My reflex action and earpiece were the only thing that saved my phone, I didn’t even have the time to bite him like I wanted to in my rage, I was so shocked and confused.

    Like, what the hell just happened right now?

    While I looked at the phone still in my hands, I couldn’t help but wonder how the pickpocket’s Usian Bolt legs were able to get him so close to the bus and away, just as fast as he came. Well, he tried the wrong sistah, I had been practicing my uppercut for just that moment, so even though my hoop earrings flew off my ears during the incident, it was a small price to pay for my phone.

    I didn’t even respond to other passengers asking me what happened, then sharing similar experiences, all I could think of was; “This is a Lagos experience I would gladly not have again”.

  • A Thief Was Caught In Lagos But The Judge Asked Him To Carry Buckets Of Water As Punishment
    On one peaceful day, instead of facing his work, a 28 year old labourer, Chikwandu, went to steal a phone worth N6,000 from someone’s van that was jejely parked on the street.

    And because everyday is for the thief and one day is for the owner, someone caught him the act and shouted:

    He got arrested and was charged to court for stealing in an Ebute Metta Chief Magistrates’ Court.

    Instead of sentencing him to court, the judge, Chief Magistrate B.O. Ope-Agbe, ordered him to fill up two buckets with water and carry them up and down a flight of stairs 100 times.

    He should kuku use the punishment to build his muscles as per fit fam.

    Who knows, maybe there aren’t enough spaces for petty thieves in prison sef.

    [zkk_poll post=43325 poll=content_block_standard_format_6]
  • This Thief Got Caught By The Neck And It Is Hilarious

    Have you ever been robbed? Imagine getting home after a long day and finding your prized belongings missing.

    Hay God!

    Or the horror of knowing someone snuck into your space and felt comfortable enough to take things away in your absence.

    Father lord!! How did they get past the burglarproof windows?

    This Nigerian shared a hilarious tweet about how a thief’s escape plan was thwarted.

    https://twitter.com/ASKamara/status/697700759966769152

    A burglarproof gate finally works!!

    His head got stuck all through the night!

    The storekeeper must have been like…

    Since he had gone through, stolen and was about escaping, we have questions as to how his head got stuck.

    Did his head suddenly get bigger?

    Or did the burglarproof gate get smaller?

    These hilarious tweets from Nigerian twitter followed…

    https://twitter.com/olumhe/status/697710271763193856

    This pun about using his head.

    Jabs were thrown at Arsenal FC.

    LMAO!

    What do you think?

    [zkk_poll post=18338 poll=content_block_standard_format_11]
  • POLL: Who Do You Think Stole Nigeria’s 2016 Budget?
    So, to usher in a new year and kick things off, the documents which contains Nigeria’s 2016 budget went missing on the 12th of January. Submitted by the office of the Presidency in December to the National Assembly, the documents—which spell out about US$ 31 billion in spending disappeared into thin air.

    This meant that the Nigerian Senate could not go ahead with the debate as planned. Nigerians and non-Nigerians alike had choice words to say about the situation.

    https://twitter.com/fistvoices/status/687015444151156736
    https://twitter.com/IsimaOdeh/status/686993230337077248

    So we want to know, who could have done this?

    [zkk_poll post=16104 poll=content_block_standard_format_9]