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  • 6 Snacks You Ate As A Child But Would Probably Kill You Now

    Admit it. You ate some really insane snacks as a child. You got away with all that because children are God’s natural crackheads and can survive anything. But if you try eating some of those things now, your organs will shrivel up and die, causing your body to pack up. Why? Because adulthood is the ghetto and your body weakens as you get older.

    Here are six snacks from your childhood that’ll probably kill you (or at least, cause you immense pain as your body struggles to digest and process them).

    1. Baba dudu

    DIY: How to make Baba Dudu » Sony247

    Remember when you would buy one roll of baba dudu after school and just lick away your sorrows until your jaw starts to ache? Well, those memories better be enough for you, because if you eat baba dudu now, you’re getting a trip to the dentist and/or multiple trips to the toilet.

    2. Nutri C/ Eve

    ICE cream 🇳🇱 on Twitter: "This thing can give you one crate of soft drinks when you mix it 😂😂😂 https://t.co/o5IOJ4bYuj" / Twitter

    Why did our parents let us drink this? That thing could feed a party of 30 people, and we were out here pouring two sachets into our 50cl water bottles. Jesus Christ. The concentration!

    3. Goody Goody

    Image result for goody goody throwback thursday

    Honestly, Goody Goody tasted great. If I could actually find it to buy, I’d have some again. But if adult me eats as much Goody Goody as I did when I was a child, I’d end up in the ER and ICU ASAP. My body would simply disintegrate. And all that sticking to my teeth shit? Not worth it.

    4. For some reason, milk (or any dairy products)

    Milk - Wikipedia

    Sometimes, I walk up to a mirror and ask myself, “How can your weakness be milk?” It doesn’t make any sense. One moment, you’re drinking milk in your cornflakes as a child, the next, you’re cancelling plans because the yoghurt you had three days before is quite literally kicking your ass. God, please.

    5. Telephone Juice

    16 Foods From Your Nigerian Childhood You'll Probably Never See ...

    This thing tasted like they rinsed the containers of a factory that made juice and then added gutter water to it. Why did we enjoy it so much?

    6. Robo Robo

    10 Nigerian Foods And Drinks That We Kind Of Miss - Listwand

    This thing was M&M’s that never made it out of the hood. Amazing stuff, though. 10/10 would definitely recommend (to an adult trying to get cavities).

    QUIZ: If You Can Recognise 10/13 Of These Candies, You Need To See The Dentist

    David Odunlami

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  • QUIZ: If You Can Recognise 10/13 Of These Candies, You Need To See The Dentist

    If you’re a chocolate person, this quiz will be easy for you:

    Miriam Onyemenam

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  • 7 Sweets That Need To Make A Comeback

    If you were born in the mid to late 90s, there are quite a lot of things from your childhood that no longer exist. A lot has changed in terms of music, snacks, film, etc. You often think back with nostalgia and long for what you can call simpler times. You want to tell the kids these days that they don’t know what they missed out on, but you’ve already said it like 78808 times. Now they look at you like a senile old man.

    We understand how you feel. That’s why we’ve written this post so you can bask in nostalgia. Here’s a list of seven sweets from our childhood that need to come back.

    Goody Goody

    If someone comes out to say they have a pack of Goody Goody in Nigeria and that whoever wins a Hunger Games-style tournament gets the box, blood will flow that day. Family members would tear each other apart just get their hands on some nice, brown, soft and sexy Goody Goody again.

    Baba Dudu

    Somehow, they still sell Baba Dudu, but it’s not as good as it used to be. It’s salty and breaks once you put it in your mouth. That wasn’t the case back when we were growing up. Remember JawBreakers from Ed, Edd and Eddy? Baba Dudu was our own jawbreakers. You could lose a tooth if you tried to bite into it. Good for keeping children quiet on long journeys.

    Kiddy

    This was a whole-ass meal. The fact that each packet was accompanied by a little spoon made this even truer. You’d get your vanilla and your chocolate sides and if you were an OG, you’d mix the two flavours. The best part of kiddy was licking the almost empty packet clean because the little spoon couldn’t reach all the corners of the pack.

    Banana Chewing Gum

    This one was a parents’ favourite (even though they hate it when children chew gum). A plus was that each wrap was packaged with fun facts that made it seem like their kids were learning a lot to balance out spoiling their teeth. Kids were always excited to read those facts and show off their knowledge to their parents. Money well spent.

    Robot Bubblegum

    Pink wasn’t always a calm colour when it came to this chewing gum. It became a rock after one minute of chewing, but this never stopped anybody from chewing. Not until your head started aching. Nobody had to tell you before you spat it out. 

    Choki Choki

    This was like Nutella, but better. Yes, I said it. It often left you tearing the nylon and licking it. When you were done, nobody would have ever suspected that there was ever anything in that nylon.

    Bazooka Chewing Gum

    This chewing gum came with comics to while away the time while you ate it. Good Stuff.  

    ODavid

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  • There’s nothing wrong with having a sweet tooth. But it’s very important for you to recognise when your own has gone from sweet tooth to sweet teeth. If you can relate with more than 5 things on this list, it might be time to seek help. Diabetes is real.

    This is how you add more sugar to your garri after you’ve already put in ten cubes.

    You’ll now taste it and add even more.

    This is you once you’ve not had sugar for twenty four hours.

    And you don’t think you have an addiction. You better seek help.

    If you drink one bottle of water in a day that means you’ve had 5 bottles of coke.

    Any small thing you’ll open coke. If they allow you, you can even use it to brush your teeth.

    You always have something sweet on you no matter where you are.

    If it’s not sweet, it’s chocolate, if it’s not chocolate it’s chewing gum.

    You can eat cake for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Then wake up the next day and eat it for breakfast again.

    There’s sha egg and butter inside so it’s a balanced diet.

    This is your face when someone asks you don’t you think you are having too much sugar.

    Too much sugar? Is that even a thing? What does that mean?

    You have to eat something sweet after every single meal.

    Even if the meal was something sweet like custard, you’ll still eat chocolate after.

    You never run out of sweet things to eat because you have them stashed in every corner of your house and office.

    If you even look under your bed you’ll find something.

    Ice-cream doesn’t count as comfort food to you because you eat it everyday.

    When you are looking for comfort the best you can do is to eat two tubs instead of one.

    When everyone is buying a bag of popcorn at the movies you have to buy two or three bags.

    It’s not as if you have two heads, the popcorn they sell at the movies is just never enough.

    When you hear someone say something like sugar spoils their appetite.

    How is that even possible?

    When you think of how much you spend on buying sweet things every month.

    It’s sha worth it to you.

    When someone tastes something you are eating then says that it’s too sweet.

    They should just face their front, they obviously don’t like the finer things of life.
    On a final note, brothers and sisters in the Lord, this isn’t all jokes. Drink more water, watch your sugar intake and stay healthy.

    Toketemu Ohwovoriole

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  • All The Reasons We Are Willing To Risk Jedi Jedi

    1. Because ice cream is more soothing than good health!

    2. Because small chops make the world go round.

    3. Because fizzy drinks are a necessary coping mechanism.

    4. Because glazed donuts are all we need to make it another day.

    5. Because a sweet stash sticks closer than a brother!

    6. Because chocolate is required for peace of mind.

    7. Because cake is a best friend that tastes better than anything else.

    8. Because cookies are love in physical form.

    Yes! lest I forget because of these too

    Jola Ayeye

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