If you want to ditch this 9-5 slavery, you might as well make a living shaking your ass and having a good time.
Take this quiz to see what stripper name suits you.
-
Most people think a strip club is a place for only men, but women go there to have fun too. These ten Nigerian women share their experience at the strip club.
Deborah, 28
I am a bisexual woman who has never actually been sexual with another woman, but I am utterly in love with the female body. The first time I went to a strip club in Festac with my boyfriend at the time. I paid this beautiful woman five thousand naira at the time (2017) to give my then boyfriend a lap dance. She was thorough. He paid one to give me a lap dance and it was nice. She let me touch her and spank her. I will definitely be going again.
Angela, 26
It was my first clubbing experience and it was a combination of shock and trauma. My friends took me to this nightclub in Enugu, and I do not think they knew it was a strip club. We were there, vibing and dancing when a door opened and umasked women with high wedged platform heels walked in. I was stunned. The guys were slapping their breasts and touching the strippers. These girls now bent down and started eating each other out with bottles. That was when I got up and left, it was not sexy at all.
Fadeke, 20
I went to a strip club with a friend and some other guy. My friend was obviously familiar with the whole thing because she settled right in. When we got some bundles of cash, my friend called a stripper over and then the performance started. The woman was THICK and was giving it her all.
When I really got into it, I was comfortable enough to slap money on her ass. At first I thought she preferred my friend until I realize it was just about who was throwing money her way. When the second batch of cash came and another girl joined in, I had the best time. The first one told me she liked my breast and then she started to play with them through my dress. I was just smiling like an idiot.
She then asked me for my instagram and followed me. I am not going to lie, I thought I was going to fall for a stripper. Something about her was so captivating, and it was not just her body.
Hi there! The HER weekly newsletter launches on the 6th of March, 2021. A new newsletter will go out every week on Saturday by 2pm. If you have already subscribed please tell a friend. If you haven’t, you can by clicking this button. It will only take fifteen seconds. Trust me, I timed it!
Hafiza, 20
They were so nice to me, constantly complimenting how I look. They also looked really beautiful. My friend paid for a lap dance for me, but I’m super shy so I was uncomfortable. She tried getting me to relax and enjoy it but it was a lot. During the course of the lap dance she had removed the lingerie, she was wearing, so I had her pussy on my thigh. She could tell I was not super into it, but when she left I told her thank you and said she was great. I have now realised that having pussy thrown in your face is something you have to mentally prepare for.
Yinka, 25
Before COVID-19, I used to go to strip clubs very well. I enjoy the pole dancing and the erotic moves. However, I do not like the idea of them touching me, because it is after they had finished touching their vaginas. I just like to watch.
Feyi, 29
My strip club experience was scary because I have never seen so many naked women in one room dancing before. My friends decided to pay a stripper to give me lap dance, and during the dance I kept screaming ‘Aunty please stop’ because I was scared. Overall, it was fun but it is not really my thing. Also, kudos to all the strippers, because they can dance.
Hi there! The HER weekly newsletter launches on the 6th of March, 2021. A new newsletter will go out every week on Saturday by 2pm. If you have already subscribed please tell a friend. If you haven’t, you can by clicking this button. It will only take fifteen seconds. Trust me, I timed it!
Cynthia, 24
My friend’s cousin invited my friend and I to a strip club in 2019. My parents are pastors and I was scared and felt like I was committing a sin, but I did not want to be a killjoy.
I felt sorry for the strippers because I saw a lot of things. The guilt I was feeling had left me and at that point, I wish I had enough money to pay them off, but since I wasn’t super-rich the only way to help was to blend in and patronize them.
The guys I was with were quite decent and loaded and asked if any of us wanted a lap dance. I agreed and my friends were shocked because they thought I was too Christ conscious for a strip club, let alone a lap dance. Honestly, I just really wanted to show love to some hardworking women. I got the cash, and I danced with 3 strippers. It was fun and funny, and I’m sure they liked me because I made sure I exhausted the 4 bundles of 200 naira notes that I was given. I have no regrets whatsoever and if I have money, I’d love to go there again and help.
Mary, 29
My first time at a strip club was unbelievable. I knew there would be naked ladies, but I didn’t know I would see things up close. I was shocked and asked my friends if it was real or we were watching pornhub.
The stripper I danced with was so sexy. She touched my hand and I jumped. She made me start questioning my sexuality. I think I was only that excited because it was my first time. Anyways, I am going back on Friday just to confirm some things for myself. I want to believe that I was that excited and turned on because it was all new and surprising. Going there a second time would confirm or refute this claim.
Adaeze, 25
I have been to a strip club a number of times, but the most memorable for me was the first time I went in 2018 when I went with my friend and her boyfriend in Abuja. At the club, my friend hands me some wads of cash and then this dark-skinned baddie with amazing thighs pitches her tent in front of me and starts shaking it.
I was a rookie, so I don’t even know how to react to the beautiful goodness happening in my presence. Then she nudges me to tap her booty while she dances and I do, and her skin was soft and smooth as hell. Soon after some alcohol and weed, I got comfortable and I wanted nothing else but to watch her shake and twerk while I emptied my coins on her.
She sat on my lap and continued her thing and I just keep reaching for more wads of cash from my friend. I even exceeded my budget for the night but she was worth every penny. She was charming and apart from the art of her dance, her smile got me hooked. In-between high and wasted, we got into a conversation about how I look like her girlfriend. When she showed me her Instagram page, I really saw the resemblance. It wasn’t until moments later that I realised I had sprayed about eighty thousand naira on this pretty woman, because I wasn’t paying attention to anything else. In that instant, I knew that I was a raging bisexual.
Esohe, 26
The first time I went to the strip club, I told my boyfriend at the time about it and he ended up breaking up with me because he said my moral standards were low. Anyways, the strip club was an okay experience, but nothing special. The lady I got a lap dance from did not have the body I would want my ideal lady to have, but she kept coming to talk to us and was pleasant.
The second time I went, was amazing. I had the best lap dance from this babe and I was so turned on. She let me touch her however I wanted. I 100% recommend. I’mnot trying to make it like a regular thing though, maybe a once in a year.
For more stories about women living their best lives, please click here
[donation]
-
Going to a strip in Abuja is quite the experience. From the smokey, dim-lit rooms to the overpriced drinks, Abuja strip clubs have it all. I recently visited three and I noticed a pattern. Here is an honest review of the type of strippers you’re bound to meet in an Abuja strip club.
Disclaimer: Some strip clubs have a no photos/videos/touching policy while others don’t. Please respect the rules regardless.
1. Blonde baldie
There is always that blonde, badass baldie that looks like Amber Rose. She usually has multiple piercings and enjoys smoking client’s cigars. Her heels are at least 2 inches longer than everyone else’s.
2. Aggressive “grab my tits” stripper
When you walk into an Abuja strip club, the girls come out to shake your hands. Their hands are usually sweaty and cool to touch. There is always that one aggressive stripper who would take your hands to her boobs after the handshake. She will tease you about being shy and then tell you how there’s more if you pay for a private dance.
3. The thick matron
There is always a woman who looks older than everyone else. You can tell she’s a veteran stripper because all the girls seem to go to her to whisper something. The regulars know her by name and she gives off mafia boss vibes.
4. The resident baby girl
Some Abuja strippers tend to look so young and naive. They have a very small frame and seem to still be getting a hang of things. Their performances are hurried and you can tell that they are younger than everyone else.
5. The performer
She has a very bubbly personality and loves eye contact. Her performances are very entertaining as she tries to get the audience to participate in one way or another.
6. The perfect woman
In every Abuja strip club, there seem to be one stripper that shines the brightest, literally. Her skin is soft, supple and moisturised. She also smells good and has a very charming smile. You cannot help but stare at her. The men with the table full of bottles always pay extra to have her dance for them.
7. The I-don’t-care stripper
There is always that one person who seriously cannot be bothered about anything going on. She comes, performs and leaves. There is nothing memorable about her except her attitude toward not giving a shit. She is most likely to get into a fight with a customer.
[donation]
-
Unless your mother was a stripper who went into labour in the middle of a killer routine and had you on stage, everyone’s first experience of strip clubs is in Hollywood movies. These movies make you think you can just stroll in and do whatever you want. That kind of behaviour will get you thrown out by the bouncers.
Here are 6 rules for navigating strip clubs.
1) Buy something.
Buy a drink or a dance. Don’t just come in and sit around, feeding your eyes. The club is not your lounge.
2) Don’t ask the strippers to give you their real names or phone numbers.
Some of the strippers do it as a side hustle and don’t want the outside world knowing about their moonlighting activities due to the stigma. So, if a stripper tells you that their name is Asampete, take it like that.
3) Don’t record videos or take pictures.
Know that the strippers have private lives that they may want to keep separate from their club personas. Don’t be a douche. The strippers want to be famous in the club, not on YouTube.
4) Pay for your dances.
Don’t let the strippers embarrass you. They are offering you a service in exchange for payment. Pay them their money or prepare to be fucked up by the bouncers AND the strippers.
5) Don’t try to get sexual favours from the strippers.
They don’t offer that kind of service. They’re not there to be your personal escorts. Just get your lap dance and go.
6) Don’t get handsy.
Like the previous point said, you’re there to get a lap dance (maybe squeeze in a short conversation) and go. Groping will get you knocked TF out. This also goes for female patrons. Just because you’re the same gender as the stripper doesn’t give you the right to touch them.
All these rules apply in strip clubs everywhere. Except for Nigeria because our little corner of the world exists in the twilight zone. Don’t believe me? Below is a one-minute video (for the new Zikoko series “Quickie“) in which I talk about my experience in a Lagos strip club.
What’s up, Zikoko Fam? It would mean the world to us if you spared a few minutes to fill this Reader Survey. It’s so we can bring you the content you really want!