Soups | Zikoko!

Everyone knows you’re what you eat. This is why we can tell the state of your sex life from your soup preference.

Egusi

Egusi goes with everything, and so do you. As king of the streets, your goal is a fun time, not a long time. Because of how funny and social you are, people are easily attracted to you. You’re also a big ashawo, who gets bored very quickly. That’s why you always end up in love triangles and situationships.

Something for you: The Ultimate Streets Starter Pack

Ogbono soup

Depending on the partner you’re with, you could be a sweet angel or a devil in the sheets. You’re a very passionate lover because you always listen to your partner’s needs and look up ways to spice up your sex life.

Pepper soup

Come on, do we even have to say it? You like whips, chains, plugs, whatever it is. You’re always down to try new things — the wilder, the better. And even though you try to deny it, you’re only in that toxic relationship because the sex bangs.

Efo riro

You like to stand out. You’re super sexy and an easy 10/10. And because you’re so attractive, you’re often sexualised, which is super stressful cause now you can’t even tell who’s genuine and who just wants knacks.

Oha

The problem is not that you don’t have game; you just don’t have the time or energy to chase anybody. So you have a few “friends” somewhere whom you call whenever you’re feeling horny.

Okro

One minute you’re the bestie; next minute, you’re lying naked together in bed. You’ve been a sneaky link too many times to count. We just worry that your main partner may drag you on the internet soon.

Ewedu

We’re not saying you’re boring in bed; you just barely have any personality. You refuse to explore new or exciting stuff, have one partner and only enjoy vanilla sex. Okay, maybe, you’re a little boring, but at least you’re not bitterleaf soup.

Bitterleaf soup

Sex where? You’re on your own, no partner, no sex, no nothing. On cold nights, you turn to your Twitter because that’s all the action you can get.

Since you’re already here, you should take this quiz and we’ll give you a nickname in bed

Meyimi O.

August 24, 2022

Chopist

okro and egusi, sexlife, Soups
Food is sweet, but sometimes it can be what’s working against you in this life. I’m talking about how food can give you serious diarrhoea and literally clear out your system. Beware of the foods I’ve listed below because they may have you spending quality time on your toilet.

Egusi soup

Egusi will give you a running stomach if you don’t cook it well or if it’s not properly stored. One time in uni, my roommate gave me egusi she’d cooked at home. I honestly should have known better than to eat it because the next day, I ran from church to my hostel because I was very close to shitting myself.

Efo Riro

Any soup majorly made up of vegetable will send you to the toilet. This is because vegetables contain a lot of fibre. You can either poop like a normal person or sleep on your toilet seat, depending on the soup and the amount of vegetable inside.

Peppery stew

I’m talking about the Yoruba stew, the one that can make you blind if it enters your eye. This type of stew knows how to scatter somebody’s stomach, and that’s because too much pepper is known to cause diarrhoea.

Akara

Akara is basically fried beans. Cooked beans runs the tummy like nothing else does so imagine when it’s blended and then fried.

Avocado

Let me confess, I initially added avocado because I have a personal beef with the fruit. I don’t think it should exist. And from the research I just did, I found out avocados are high in magnesium which attracts water to soften poo.

ALSO READ: If You Don’t Like Any of These 10 Foods, You’re Bad Vibes

Milk

This for my lactose-intolerant friends who don’t like to hear word. They always seem to forget that there are consequences to their actions. Milk or any form of dairy will fuck your stomach up. Please, be kind to yourself.

Ayamase stew

Ayamase (Ofada) stew is basically a lot of pepper fried in a lot of oil. You should be able to see the running stomach coming from a mile away. But this stew is one of the best things to come out of this country so it’s understandable that you still persist to eat it.

Beans and eggs

Before you say anything, yes, beans and eggs is a meal normal human beings eat. But just know when you eat it, you’ll be spending quality time on whatever toilet is near you.

Aloe vera juice

I don’t know why anyone in the world would drink this. But just for the sake of those who want to try it, be prepared to do all your office work from your toilet.

Important message: There are people out there who intentionally try to give themselves diarrhoea. I beg you in the name of Amala, and other good things that exist in this world, stop it. It’s not healthy, and it’s a sign you may have an eating disorder.

ALSO READ: Compilation of the Most Ridiculous Nigerian Food Superstitions

Dammy Eneli

June 27, 2022

Chopist

Food, Soups
How many Nigerian soups do you know? Let’s see if you can unscramble these ones:

It can also be called “Ofe Akwu”

The soup that leaves traces everywhere

Which Yoruba sweetheart is this?

This soup can be taken alone or with extra ingredients

This soup is more popular in the West

Definitely the most popular soup in Nigeria

No hint dear

Which Urhobo delicacy is this?

This soup doesn’t taste like its name

You should know this

Which Southern soup is this?

Which Northern soup is this?

Pepper soup’s evil twin

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Nawa oh. Indomie generation.
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You did well. It’s not easy.
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Osheyyy! Nobody is dragging this foodie title with you.

Miriam Onyemenam

April 26, 2021

Quizzes

Nigerian Food, Nigerian soup, Soups
Someone said Northern Nigeria’s cuisine is the most underrated food culture in Nigeria, and I agreed instantly.

Here is a list of some of the most popular and nutritious foods you’ll find in Kaduna, particularly. As you should be able to tell, I couldn’t stop craving till the very end.

1. Tuwon Shinkafa And Miyan Tuashe

Tuwon Shinkafa is a thick pudding prepared from local rice, maize, or millet, and it is usually served with different soups, including Miyan Tuashe.
Miyan Tuashe is one of the most popular soups in Kaduna and Northern Nigeria. It is a pumpkin soup best served with Tuwon Shinkafa, Masa, and other delicacies.

2. Miyan Kuka

Miyan kuka or miyar kuka is another soup that is very popular in Kaduna State and northern Nigeria, generally.

The soup is made from powdered baobab leaves and dried okra. Best served with Dawa, Tuwon Shinkafa, or Tuo Zaafi.
See soup now…

3. Masa

Masa is a rice cake. It is made by soaking Tuwo rice in water overnight, or for at least 6 hours. The rice is then rinsed and blended before it is cooked in a special pan called the “Masa pan”.
Doesn’t this look delicious?

4. Pate Masara

Pate Masara is dried corn Jollof. It is made by boiling corn and until it is soft and the water is partially dry. After which the corn is cooked, parboiled, blended with seasoned pepper, and served hot with either spinach, pumpkin leaves, or moringa.
Just look at this beauty.

5. Gwate (or Acha Porridge)

Gwate is maize pudding that is very nutritional and even advised for the intake of babies. You can find how to make it here.
6. Burabisco

Brabusco is traditionally made couscous, and it is common to Maiduguri in Northern Nigeria, particularly. Brabusco goes well with a spicy stew with lots of meats playing daddy and mummy inside.
Burabisco is a fast meal that is also very filling.

7. Tuwon Dawa

Tuwon Dawa is ground guinea-corn made thick and solid and is eaten with soups like kuka and okra.
Firewood is best used to cook this meal as it might not get well-cooked on a kerosene stove or gas cooker.

8. Tuwon Acha

Tuwon Acha is a type of swallow made from grains that can be eaten with any type of soup.
9. Miyan Kubewa

Miyan Kubewa is another of Northern Nigeria’s glorious soups.
10. Miyan Yakuwa

Yakuwa is a leafy vegetable soup that has a sour taste. It can be cooked with either palm oil or groundnut oil and can be garnished with meat, stockfish, or any other ‘animal’.
Potash is also usually added to the soup to reduce the sour taste.

11. Fura De’Nunu

Okay, this is a drink. Fura De’Nunu is cow milk mixed with cooked and ground millet or sorghum. It is highly nutritious and can be taken as a whole meal.
Doyin Olagunju

September 20, 2020

Chopist

Kaduna, Soups, Tuwon Shinkafa
We recently made a quiz about identifying Nigerian soups and while taking it, I had an epiphany. Even though a lot of Nigerian soups are great, there are some that are just terrible. Like, these are the soups that you taste and immediately know that Beelzebub was feeling particularly evil the day he made their recipes.

Soups like:

“Humans are going to hate this so much.”

1) Gbegiri Soup

Is this soup or custard? No one can tell. The best you can do is hope that you’re not mistakenly served Hollandia banana-flavoured custard with your amala. Also, I found out recently that the reason it looks like baby poop is because it’s made with overcooked beans.

2) Ewedu Soup

Look at this. Look at this and tell me it doesn’t look like gutter water. TELL ME THAT WHAT IS IN THAT PLATE ISN’T ALGAE!

3) Afang Soup

Afang is on this list for the crime of containing periwinkles. Food shouldn’t be light blue. It’s unnatural. Then there are the psychopaths that add periwinkles but leave them in their hard as hell shells, ensuring that anyone who eats the soup has the absolute worst time having to suck them out of the shells (if they don’t chip their teeth mistakenly biting down on them first).

4) Miyan Kuka Soup

Looks like saw dust in water. Can not deal.

Click here for happy thoughts.

Astor George

May 11, 2020

Chopist

Nigerian, Soups

Egusi

Ogbono soup

Pepper soup

Efo riro

Oha

Okro

Ewedu

Bitterleaf soup

Egusi soup

Efo Riro

Peppery stew

Akara

Avocado

Milk

Ayamase stew

Beans and eggs

Aloe vera juice

Questions

This is a question

It can also be called “Ofe Akwu”

The soup that leaves traces everywhere

Which Yoruba sweetheart is this?

This soup can be taken alone or with extra ingredients

This soup is more popular in the West

Definitely the most popular soup in Nigeria

No hint dear

Which Urhobo delicacy is this?

This soup doesn’t taste like its name

You should know this

Which Southern soup is this?

Which Northern soup is this?

Pepper soup’s evil twin

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You scored #{score}/#{total}

You scored #{score}/#{total}

1. Tuwon Shinkafa And Miyan Tuashe

2. Miyan Kuka

3. Masa

4. Pate Masara

5. Gwate (or Acha Porridge)

6. Burabisco

7. Tuwon Dawa

8. Tuwon Acha

9. Miyan Kubewa

10. Miyan Yakuwa

11. Fura De’Nunu