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single life | Zikoko!
  • Relationships Are Good, but Talking Stages Are Better

    Relationships Are Good, but Talking Stages Are Better

    What an elder Zikoko sees sitting down, you won’t see even if you climb a transformer. So we compiled a list of why you should cherish your talking stage for your benefit.

    You get to self-reflect 

    Wanting to come off as interesting to the potential bae would make you search deep for appropriate answers to all their questions. After the 69th “Tell me about yourself”, you’d be forced to question who you really are.

    You can be broke in peace

    Everyone tells you how exciting relationships are, leaving out the staggering expenses. Whether it’s their birthday, Jesus’ or just children’s day, you must buy a thoughtful gift. But nobody expects anything from you at the talking stage because you’re not even together yet.

    Go to bed early too

    You don’t have to explain to anyone why you slept off during the talking stage. And if they start acting upset because you went to bed earlier than you said you would, you can just cut them off. They clearly hate you and will go after your life if the ship takes off.

    And still get regular texts and calls 

    You get to enjoy the benefits of a relationship while escaping the bills that come with it. So you may not be “God when” goals but atleast you know you’re not a plastic spoon.

    Save money on house chores

    Do people who get pounded yam in talking stages have two heads? Start talking to young men and women with manners, and you’ll have one person pounding yam and another washing your curtains in no time. 

    You can flee if you get tired 

    An oloriburuku can only hide their bad character for so long, so once they show you they do usually craze, you can just pack your slippers and run. You’re not attached to them yet, so it’s that easy.

    And stay mysterious

    One day, you’re making “my man” tweets; the next, you’re saying “Love is for mumus”. You don’t know yet, but you’re keeping your fans on their ten toes. This can only happen if you jump in and out of talking stages instead of getting committed anyhow.  

    It builds character

    Relationships are restrictive; you enter one and end up stuck there for life. But you get to build character when you’ve had to nurse two heartbreaks in a year from people you weren’t even in a relationship with.


    READ ALSO: Love Life: We Were in the Talking Stage for Five Months


  • 7 Reasons Why You Will Continue Saying “God When”

    7 Reasons Why You Will Continue Saying “God When”

    All your friends are in love, and you are part of the ‘‘God when’’ association wondering when you will get your own boo. We are sorry to break it to you that you may never find love due to the reasons stated below.

    1. You are best in English

    Anyone who mistakenly sends you a message with ‘’am’’ doesn’t get a response from you, even if the follow-up message is sweet. Since you are so good at the English language, why not become an English teacher and stop stressing God. You may find your boo in the school where you’ll work as an English teacher. 

    2. You are always fighting on social media.

    We know you are passionate about what you believe in, but the way you go about it is a little scary, or what do you think? Any small thing you’ve become Hulk Hogan on the TL. Please be calming down abeg, your toasters are afraid that you’ll beat them up if they move to you.

    3. Your eating habits are very bad.

    You are either a bricklayer or a thief ah. You eat fufu in the middle of the night, it’s fine tho, you may need that energy to fight your village people that appear to you in your dreams. The ones hindering you from finding love.

    4. You say ‘am’’ instead of ‘I’m’’

    Please for God’s sake, we have tried to correct you. Help us to help you, what is ‘’am fine’’?. When they air your messages now you will say it is elitism when na you wey no sabi English.

    5. You are a couch potato

    That couch you like to sleep on from morning to night is where you are going to find your boo. We love that they are going to come to your house to find you. Since all you do is press your phone, we believe you aren’t yet ready to download your partner from that phone. You aren’t like the others on the list, keep taking your sweet time.

    6.You are still stuck on your ex.

    You are so funny, you keep shouting ‘’God when’’ when all you do is fantasize about your ex from morning till night. Instead of filling your thoughts and imaginations with images of your dream boo, you are wasting it thinking of one yeye ex. Better jazz up.

    7. You have not tried to buy love on jiji.ng 

    Is there really anything you can’t buy on Jiji?. You are probably still waiting for conventional ways of finding love when you can easily do it at the click of a button. All we know is that you aren’t ready. When you are ready, you’ll go and buy it on Jiji.

    If you stop doing all these things and you still don’t find love, then we don’t know for you again. maybe you should go to babalawo’s place.