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Everyone has a role to play and so do side boyfriends. To be a successful one means you’ve learnt the ropes and finessed it to your own style.
The above is simply a proverb for not getting in a relationship if you can get all the benefits while staying single. Be a side piece and enjoy these benefits today.
No more guilt
The relationship isn’t your business because there really is no relationship. Their feelings aren’t in your hands, so there’s nothing like cheating when you sleep with others. You’re just a harmless helper.
No heavy lifting
Baecations and the burden of love languages belong to her main man. You’ll do the barest minimum on anything outside sex and being a shoulder to cry sometimes.
Improve your skills
Bro, you got that role because of what you bring to the bedroom, and consistency will make you better at your job. They’ll hail you everywhere you go, king of sexual intercourse.
Free from “breakfast”
When they eventually get served breakfast, they come to you to ease the pain because a side penis is a comforter.
Nobody to checkmate you
Your partner can’t be angry if they catch you with another person. Will they even have time to monitor you when they’re busy trying not to get caught themselves?
You’ll learn contentment
Contentment is one of life’s most important values because we need less greed in this country. Playing your role as a side boyfriend, joyfully eating the crumbs you get and not trying to take the main place is an underrated level of contentment.
We lied, you’re still being played
You thought you could have any kind of relationship and get away with it? BFFR. Your main babe may also have a side piece, or you may turn out to be her side piece too.
If there’s anything history has taught us, it is that men are much better than being side pieces than women. Ask Jada Pinkett Smith.
If you didn’t already know, a side nigga is someone who knows that the person they are giving back to back has a partner but doesn’t care. You’re just here for a good time, not a long time.
Being a side nigga is a very dicey situation to be in. You must navigate it with sense and wisdom. You see, it’s all about maintaining balance.
As usual, Zikoko’s got your back, helping the helpless and guiding the guideless. So, we the very nice people at Zikoko have put together this guide to help you become a better side nigga.
Never catch feelings
This is the golden rule. I’m surprised that we even have to say this. If you catch feelings for somebody’s partner, what you see is what you get oh. Ask August Alsina.
A word is enough for the coded.
Don’t ask “What are we?”
Trust us, you don’t want to be that guy that asks “What are we?” after a sweaty round of entanglements.
Enjoy the time you’re allocated, no more no less.
If your allocated time is once a week, manage it. Don’t come and be whining or complaining. Know your place.
Never ever confront the main nigga
We don’t know what could have driven you to this point, but this is not the plan God had for your life. Don’t do it.
Be a good listener
In case you didn’t know, listening is your primary responsibility.
Occasionally, they might want to rant about their man/woman to you. Just listen and drop your occasional “Eyah, pele” before you begin to do the do.
Hear out her concerns. Remember the age-old saying: a shoulder to cry on becomes a dick to ride on.
Statistics show that there are more women than men; and we know sharing is caring. Being a side-boyfriend can be one of the hardest and easiest jobs, depending on a lot of factors. If you have been failing or want to be better at it, this is the list for you.
1. First you have to know your position.
As a side boyfriend, set and respect your “boundaries”. No more no less. This is really important.
2. You have to be super caring.
Women love guys that are caring when their boyfriends are not doing their job.
3. You have to be this guy.
Because you will need to make her laugh when her boyfriend makes her sad.
4. No matter how boring her day was…
Always be ready to listen or pretend to listen.
5. Get rid of emotions.
Remind yourself, you are not the boyfriend. Think with your head always.
6. In case you are a very emotional person, you will need this.
Because these feelings like to creep in at unwanted or unnoticed times.
7. You have to step up your acting skills.
Just in case something goes wrong that was not planned for.
8. And when her relationship begins to have problems…
You have to be Dr. Phil and give her the best advice so she stays in the relationship.
9. And when the relationship is going too good and she forgets you.
Never forget. Just hold on.
10. You have to own one of these.
We don’t make the rules, but rumor has it that every side boyfriend has one of them.
11. You must always have one of these on standby.
For when she wants some in-house entertainment and distraction from her boyfriend.
Statistics show that there are more women than men; and we know sharing is caring. Being a side-boyfriend can be one of the hardest and easiest jobs, depending on a lot of factors. If you have been failing or want to be better at it, this is the list for you.
