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  • A Nigerian Guide to Black Friday Even a 5-Year-Old Would Understand

    A Nigerian Guide to Black Friday Even a 5-Year-Old Would Understand

    Every Black Friday season, businesses claim to offer the best deals you can find (according to them sha). From a Black Friday professional who’s been through the trenches of overspending, missing out on deals and buying fake shit, here’s a list of how to survive and make the most out of Black Friday. 

    Have a spending limit, so you don’t end up poor

    Dear, rapture will not happen after Black Friday. Map out a budget for your purchases because last time I checked, rent is still waiting for most of us in January. Don’t buy a plasma TV you can’t afford, just because it’s ₦10k cheaper, and end up under the bridge watching Telemundo. 

    Don’t put all your eggs in one Black Friday basket 

    Every site claims to offer the biggest sales on Black Friday, but the truth is most of them are detty liars. You need to wear your thinking cap and be on different sites comparing prices to get the best deal possible. You can’t allow these people to scam you, please. 

    Make a list of things you want to buy beforehand 

    Black Friday is not that different from going to the market. Make sure you have a list before shopping this season because it’s easy to get carried away. Are you looking for clothes? Then set a limit on how many shirts you want before you end up with ten white button-down shirts like a choirmaster. Also, make sure you know what you want, so you don’t go online looking for a TV and end up with a small gen you don’t need. 

    Please and please, know what you’re buying 

    Buying a TV for ₦‎5k sounds like a good idea until it arrives, and you end up watching Big Brother Naija in black and white. Don’t just jump on deals, do a quick research about the product, including reviews from people who’ve used it. Google is your best friend, dear. 

    Don’t dull on deals

    Do you think you’re the only one who likes osho free? Please, we’re all looking for freebies. It’s good to research, but also know someone else is eyeing that thing you want, and they might just pay for it while you’re busy overthinking the deal. 

    RECOMMENDED: 9 Things That Have To Go On Sale For Black Friday

    Run to physical stores if you can 

    Yes, not all Black Friday deals are online. Some big stores offer their Black Friday deals both online and at their physical stores, and honestly, if the physical store is closer to you, please run there. In a store you can easily test out your products and also get access to a wide variety of options. Technology is great, but sometimes physical stores slap better than online deals. 

    Download mobile apps for extra deals 

    Most people don’t know this, but the stores’ apps often have cooler deals than their websites. They need people to download apps, so they usually add incentives for customers — even outside Black Friday. Don’t forget this major hack. 

    Register on the sites ahead of time 

    Imagine you’ve seen what you want, added it to your cart, but while you’re busy filling in your mother’s maiden name and the colour of the cap your village chief wears, someone else pays, and it becomes unavailable. This is why you need to register on all the sites ahead of time, so you can check out when you’re done shopping without filling out forms like someone looking for a loan. 

    Keep your eyes out for social media deals 

    Social media is where all the goodies are. Most brands put up codes for extra discounts on their pages, so look out for those deals because they can go a long way in saving you even more money. 

    Black Friday requires time 

    People think Black Friday is about impulse buying, but it’s more strategic than that. Creating a budget, coming up with a list of what you want and looking for these things until you find the best deals take time. You can’t rush Black Friday.  

    You don’t have to wait until Black Friday to get deals 

    2022’s Black Friday falls on the 25th of November, exactly one month before Christmas. But real ones know all the cool stuff will be sold out by that day. Black Friday sales start earlier, with some stores starting in the first week of November. Make sure you keep your eyes and ears open, so your Black Friday shopping doesn’t end in hot tears. 

    ALSO READ: 8 People You Should Avoid During Black Friday Sales

    Conrad Johnson-Omodiagbe

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  • QUIZ: Go Shopping for Your Crush and We’ll Reveal When You’ll Get Married

    QUIZ: Go Shopping for Your Crush and We’ll Reveal When You’ll Get Married

    Remember, the goal is to get your crush’s attention. So, let’s go.

    Meyimi O.

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  • QUIZ: You Don’t Have Enough Clothes and This Quiz Will Prove It

    QUIZ: You Don’t Have Enough Clothes and This Quiz Will Prove It

    Your one black jean has tried, and you know it—take this quiz and we’ll tell you if you need to invest more in your wardrobe.

    Meyimi O.

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  • Retail Therapy is Expensive, but Here’s Why It Slaps

    Retail Therapy is Expensive, but Here’s Why It Slaps

    Therapy is expensive, retail therapy included, but wouldn’t you rather spend a sickening amount of money on clothes you’d forget in your wardrobe than on telling a therapist that your daddy beat you for stealing sweets two decades ago, now you cry for no reason when you see sweets? Yes? Same. 

    Here’s why retail therapy slaps. 

    1. You can heal your inner child 

    Having adult money is wild because you can just choose to get that toy you begged your mum for every month since you turned 10, and no one will beat you for spending it. You can buy a pack of chocolates, and eat it all in a day, and no one will judge you except your dentist, and last last, they’ll be fine. 

    RELATED: 7 Times In Life When You Were Truly Happy

    2. Waiting for your delivery gives you a reason to live

    If you’ve never had to wait for an international package to be delivered, you’re missing out. According to the Zikoko bureau of statistics, studies have shown that waiting for a delivery package increases your lifespan. Anyone who says money can’t solve your problems is a liar and a detty bitch.

    3. Everyone likes new things

    New things smell amazing and will instantly make you smile. Whoever made online shopping possible needs an award and a hot plate of amala. What a genius! You mean I can get what I want without moving an inch? Just thinking about the pose you’ll make in the mirror when you get a new shoe or dress will brighten your day. 

    RELATED: 7 Important Differences Between Okrika and Thrift

    4. It helps you forget your worries 

    Sometimes, you’re sad for no reason, and no amount of food or hugs can help, but doom scrolling through shopping apps can ease your mind and put you in a better mood. Try planning an outfit for two hours and see if you won’t forget all your worries for a while. 

    5. It’s like opening a present

    The best part of retail therapy is the unboxing. It’s the little thank you note for patronizing the vendor, the plans you get to make for that new box and the shot of relief when that shoe fits. All these little things can make the unboxing of your self-bought presents pretty exciting. 

    6. It gives you temporary joy

    If you had to choose between being super sad and temporary happiness, won’t you choose to be happy? Can that new bag pay for one therapy session? Yes, but does therapy come with free sample perfumes? No, and that’s on 14 similar t-shirts in your ASOS cart. 

    READ ALSO: Zikoko’s Guide To Patronizing Online Vendors

    Malakai Bassey

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  • 6 Ways to Get People to Put Some Respect on Your Name

    6 Ways to Get People to Put Some Respect on Your Name

    Do you want people to regard you with awe and put some “respeck” on your name? If you live in Nigeria, the following will be very useful in achieving your aim.

    1. Tell them you know Dangote one-on-one

    Whether you’ve even seen the back of his head before or not, it doesn’t matter. The koko is how well you’re able to defend your claims.

    2. Choose violence once in a while

    Have been choosing the “nice” path? Ah. If you want to earn yourself some respect, change it for people and choose violence every once in a while.

    3. Stay far away from drama

    That includes not dragging people that didn’t do anything to you on Twitter, and telling Bisi you have work to do when she comes with office gossip. Tomorrow it’ll be your gist she’ll be spreading.

    4. Show them your birth certificate

    Maybe people don’t respect you because of your small stature. You can fix that by showing them your birth certificate. Let them know you are not their mate, especially disrespectful Gen Zs.

    5. Make it in life

    If you’re not rich-rich enough for people to use your name for clout, forget anything about respect oh. Make it in life first and see how people will rush you with respect.

    6. Make sure people know you only shop outside the country…

    …Even as far as Turkey, and your orders get delivered directly to your doorstep because you use a Shop & Ship service. If it’s easy let them do it.

    Shop and Ship is a global shipping service that delivers your online shopping from anywhere in the world right up to your doorstep. Discover the joy of shopping in the US, China, UK and Turkey amongst other countries with 32 S&S addresses worldwide. Why wait?

    Sign up today. For more information, visit ShopandShip.com.

    Susan Nwaobiala

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  • You Need these 5 Helpful Things as an Online Shopper

    You Need these 5 Helpful Things as an Online Shopper

    Back in the day, literally all shopping was carried out offline. Now, you can even lie in bed and shop for groceries online. One less thing to stress about as you hustle for your daily 2k.

    Your online shopping experience could even be made better with these following things:

    1. The wisdom of your forefathers

    Shopping is addictive, and your cart is filled enough. Wisdom will prevent you from impulsively spending all the money you’ve saved for japaing on one handbag.

    2. Discounts, discounts, discounts

    Shopping is much more fun when you are saving some coins, yes or yes? If your favourite shopping store doesn’t give discounts, fight them.

    3. A password even the Devil cannot guess

    How long will you keep using 123456789 and your birthday in reverse as your password? It’s 2022, fix up before one hacker will access all your card details and wipe your account clean.

    4. The patience of a snail

    Not every shiny, carefully photographed item on a e-store is the real deal. Patience will prove helpful in getting value for your money. Unless you want to keep regretting a hasty purchase till you clock ninety.

    5. Doorstep delivery

    Wouldn’t it be cool if you could shop globally and get your order shipped right to your doorstep? If you live alone and are trying to prevent the whole of Nigeria from knowing you even have money to order stuff from the abroad, this option is perfect!

    Are you an online shopper? You’ll love this.

    Discover the joy of shopping in the US, China, UK and Turkey amongst other countries with 32 S&S addresses worldwide. Why wait? Sign up with Shop and Ship today.

    For more information, visit ShopandShip.com.

    Susan Nwaobiala

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  • 7 Annoying Reasons Why You Probably Hate Shopping on International Stores

    7 Annoying Reasons Why You Probably Hate Shopping on International Stores

    Shopping online, especially on international stores is a delightful and stress-free process, or is it? You must have experienced certain things that just make you frustrated and want to say, “Not again”, like the ones below:

    Which can you relate to the most?

    1. Paying can be frustrating

    It’s not as if you’re begging for the money oh. You have it, but to make payment becomes difficult. Either because your debit card keeps getting declined, the payment methods are not supported in Nigeria or one OTP wahala. Heavy sigh.

    2. Shipping fees cost more than the product

    Imagine paying $25 as shipping fee for sunglasses that cost $4. How?? How much is transport fare to the market?

    3. Delivery takes forever

    That’s how you’ll think every knock on your door or unknown number calling is a delivery person. Someone can even get pregnant and give birth during some waiting periods. If some of your orders even arrive in one piece, thank your star. Wahaleux.

    4. Confusion with currency conversion

    Rushing to convert the prices on items before adding to cart is just tiring. Makes you wonder why there’s no universal currency.

    5. You cannot do “back to sender”

    This one can make you want to grow wings and fly, because the return policies suck. Especially when you get those outrageous deliveries that look nothing like what you ordered online, a.k.a what you ordered vs. what you got.

    6. Nigeria not being on the radar

    There is always that one international shopping site that doesn’t deliver to Nigeria. A whole Nigeria oh, it’s not their fault.

    7. Address wahala

    There is always the scepticism about filling the address option. What if they come and kidnap you or worse, your package gets delivered to your enemy’s house? Which room number will you even write when the numbering on your street is not straightforward? Omo.

    Before you put away your ATM card and say “Never again” to shopping on international stores, give Shop & Ship a try. It’s a global shipping service that delivers your online shopping from anywhere in the world right up to your doorstep.

    Yup. To your door gan gan!

    Discover the joy of shopping in the US, China, UK and Turkey amongst other countries with 32 S&S addresses worldwide. Why wait? Sign up today.

    For more information, visit ShopandShip.com.

    Susan Nwaobiala

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  • The Biggest Sale Of The Year – Konga Black Friday!

    The Biggest Sale Of The Year – Konga Black Friday!

    It’s the most anticipated Black Friday in the annual shopping calendar in Nigeria and top tier E-commerce brand, Konga is set to make it a memorable one for its customers.

    Take advantage of Konga Black Friday discounts to enjoy the most amazing online shopping experience of all time. Imagine grabbing the most wanted N900,000 iPhone 13 Pro Max for just N89,000?

    Envision buying that Sony PlayStation 5 sold at N550,000 for N29,999. Dreams come true and you can buy everything on your wishlist during Konga Black Friday on 26th November 2021. The question is – ARE YOU READY?

    Among the variety of products across multiple categories on offer for Konga Black Friday are Laptops, Desktops and accessories, Mobile phones and tablets, Home & Kitchen appliances, Fashion items, Electronic devices, Educational materials, Baby, Kids, and Toys as well as Wine, Spirits among others.

    Additionally, you will get an extra 10% off when you make payments for your purchases with your Access or Verve card during this period. It is worthy to note that the amazing deals on offer during Konga Black Friday are not limited to the online space alone. You can walk into any konga retail store nationwide to take advantage of these discounts.

    Stay glued to all Konga social media handles – @shopkonga on Instagram and Shop Konga on Facebook. This way, you will keep up with all updates pertaining to these deals as they roll out. One thing is sure this Konga Black Friday – It’s going to be a hailstorm of discounts and deals.

    Grab everything you need at up to 90% when you visit www.konga.com or walk into any Konga Retail Store near you.

    Susan Nwaobiala

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  • 5 Things We Secretly Wish For While Shopping Online

    5 Things We Secretly Wish For While Shopping Online

    If shopping online makes you excited and ready to splurge, then you must have wished for at least 3 things on this list.

    Genies might not bring them to life, but God of miracles will come through. Amen?

    1. Miraculous delivery

    Sometimes, after adding things to your cart, the delivery fee alone can give you hypertension. If only that wasn’t a thing, you’d probably shop online more often. Thankfully, as an OurPass user, you get to enjoy free delivery when you shop using the app. Say hello to free deliveries here, dear.

    2. Instant checkout

    Nothing makes the online shopping experience as seamless as fast checkout. All that time you use to fill out long entry forms can be channeled into watching your favourite show or chatting with your boo.

    3. Discounts

    Spending money is sweet when it’s not your own nau. Don’t lie, you’ve wished to come across those awoof 50% or 75 % discount whenever you’re shopping. At least if you save some money, you can boldly tell Musa to sell 5,000 Naira Suya for you in the evening.

    4. No “what I ordered versus what I got” moments

    Especially when it comes to items like wearables, gadgets and beauty products. That gown looks great in the photo, but what are the odds that it won’t end up being a night gown on delivery? God no go shame us oh.

    5. That hackers should not see your money

    God forbid that hackers should mess with your favourite shopping platform and wipe out the small 10k you want to manage till month end. It won’t be funny. If security is something you’re very particular about, you’ll like using OurPass.

    With this app, you no longer have to share your card details, shipping address and phone number on multiple websites. Simply add money to your OurPass account and pay with your wallet at checkout in just a few moments.

    About OurPass

    OurPass is the easiest, fastest and most secure way to shop online. It allows you to checkout in one click on any website that has OurPass installed. No need to enter your personal and card details across multiple websites.

    Simply click and chill; OurPass makes it faster to shop online. As a business owner, you can integrate OurPass into your e-commerce website as well to increase seamless checkouts and sales. If this sounds like a plan, click here to start.

    Susan Nwaobiala

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  • Have You Ever Collected Wretched Money By Mistake?

    Have You Ever Collected Wretched Money By Mistake?

    1. So, you went to quickly buy something.

    2. And you were in a hurry so you just collected you change and ran off.

    3. Normally you would have left your change, as a tip.

    4. But recession, so no chance of that one!

    5. Anyway, now you’ve gotten home.

    6. Only to check your change and see torn notes everywhere.

    7. So what are you meant to do now?

    8. First you try to use the money to pay for something at the same store that gave you the wretched change.

    9. Only for the cashier to say they don’t accept such money.

    10. Then you try to give it to a bus conductor, who asks you if you’re crazy.

    11. Then, you think of dropping it in the offering basket only to see the usher looking at you, like:

    12. Then, you try to “dash” the money to one of your small cousins but he laughs at you, like:

    13. At the end of the day you end up keeping the money in one drawer, hoping and praying you wake up one day and it’s brand new.

    14. But so far, no such luck!

    Jola Ayeye

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  • Do You Hate Market Runs? This is For You!

    Do You Hate Market Runs? This is For You!

    1. When your mother accosts you because food has finished in the house and it’s time to go to the market.

    2. As if your problem is not bad enough, it starts raining.

    3. When you enter the market and everyone starts screaming in your ear and trying to drag you into their stall..

    4. And you have to hold your bag extra tight because anything can happen.

    5. Then your customer starts arguing with you about prices because “dollar have cost”.

    6. And now your shoes are ruined because of mud, sand and rubbish everywhere.

    7. Meanwhile your mother keeps messaging you with things she conveniently “forgot” you have to buy.

    8. You, entering the meat section of the market.

    9. When the grocer tries to add some limp vegetables to your basket.

    10. When your customer is stingy with “jara”.

    11. When you finally get home, you’re like.

    12. Only for your mother to complain that you were cheated and she would have done a better job!

    13. Next time go by yourself ma, don’t disturb me!

    Jola Ayeye

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  • 7 Ways Your Change Runs Away From You

    1. When you give the conductor 500 naira and he says “I dey come”.

    2. When the supermarket cashier says they don’t have change.

    3. When you buy something in traffic and the traffic lights change before you can collect change.

    4. When you send your small cousin on an errand and they decide your change is their payment.

    5. When you put change in your bag and it disappears somewhere inside… forever.

    6. When policemen decide to harass you, you look at your change like:

    7. When your are in a hurry and you forget your change in the supermarket.

    Jola Ayeye

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  • 9 Struggles Only Chronic Guilty-Shoppers Will Understand

    1. When you see one fine, but expensive shoe and your conscience starts shouting

    “You know you’re already broke!”

    2. When you now pass by the shop again, you’re like

    It’s not good to be broke sha!

    3. You, at work thinking of those fine shoes you saw

    But if I don’t buy it, will I eat my money?

    4. When you now pass by the shop and you can’t stop yourself

    How could I resist all the other beautiful shoes?

    5. You, trying the shoes for the tenth time at home

    6. When you’re now sleeping and your guilt hits you

    I have finished all my savings o!

    7. How your account balance appears to you in your dreams like

    “You think you’re doing me, but you’re doing yourself!”

    8. When you now want to return the shoes, and the shop owner is like

    Somebody cannot even play small play with you again?

    9. So you just decide to enjoy your very expensive shoes like that

    I will not kuku kill myself!

    Shola

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  • The Stress Of Having Your Nigerian Mother Buy Clothes For You

    The Stress Of Having Your Nigerian Mother Buy Clothes For You

    1. When you tell your mother you need clothes and she asks if you’ve finished wearing the ones you have.

    Hay God!

    2. When your hear your mother shout “come and see if this shirt is your size”.

    YES!!!

    3. Your face, when your mother says “you’ll grow into it”:

    Be lying.

    4. When you ask your mother to buy adidas for you and she comes home with:

    “What’s the difference?”

    5. When you ask your mother for a suit vs. When you ask your mother for jeans:

    If it is not “responsible” cloth, you are not smelling any money.

    6. When she uses a broomstick to measure your shoe size before going to the market.

    Which one is this?

    7. When she still comes home with shoes that are two sizes too big.

    She will now give you paper to chook inside.

    8. When you ask her to help you buy something and she makes you follow her to the market.

    Hian! On top socks?

    9. When she refused to buy that shirt you liked just because of extra N500.

    Na wa oh!

    10. When she buys your Christmas clothes in July because it will be cheaper.

    Mama the mama.

    11. When she buys you something and you ask her how much it was.

    “Do you want to give me the money back?”

    12. When she buys you and all your siblings the exact same cloth.

    Who is doing ‘and co’ with you people?

    13. You, on that rare occasion your mother actually buys you something you like.

    Wow! So you sabi like this?

    Daniel Orubo

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  • 13 Things You’ll Understand If You’ve Ever Shopped Online In Nigeria

    13 Things You’ll Understand If You’ve Ever Shopped Online In Nigeria

    1. When you get a mail about clearance sales from one of these online stores.

    Everything is 40% off. Jesus!

    2. When ASOS sends you a mail in this high exchange rate period.

    Get away from me, Satan!

    3. When you finally open the site and you still cannot afford the items.

    Don’t you dare send me any more emails.

    4. When you’re knee-deep in window shopping and your browser tab starts looking like this:

    *tears*

    5. When you realize that there isn’t really money to buy anything.

    Help me, Lord.

    6. You, lying to yourself that you really need the product and it’s a good deal.

    It’s a good deal. I can’t get it anywhere else. I’m so lucky.

    7. When you finally decide to spend your next month’s salary and order something.

    It’s just money.

    8. When you want to check out and you see the delivery price.

    No free delivery?

    9. After all the high prices, then you notice there’s no Pay on Delivery option.

    I’m not doing again.

    10. When they say your item will be delivered in 5 – 7 days but it’s been 8 days.

    Thank God it’s Pay on Delivery.

    11. What you ordered online vs. what gets delivered.

    What is this?!

    12. When your item is delivered and it’s in the wrong size.

    JESUS!

    13. Online shopping sites, when you try to return a damaged item.

    It’s mission impossible.

    Odunayo

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  • How To Survive Shopping With Your Nigerian Mother

    How To Survive Shopping With Your Nigerian Mother
    When your Nigerian mum says  “Let’s go to the store or market” we know how that feels and the reactions that follow.  Here are a few ways you can survive a shopping trip with your mum.

    1. Be prepared! Brace yourself!

    Because it’s about to be a tough long experience.

    2. Pack every single thing you need.

    Water, toiletries, snacks, a sleeping bag also.

    3. Prepare your muscles and get your energy up.

    Because you are about to be a bag carrier for the rest of that day.

    4. Prepare your secret shopping list.

    Who knows you may get lucky.

    5. Tell her how much you love her on the way to the shop.

    Of course you’re the best mum in Nigeria! You always surprise me with the best things!

    6. Prepare to be disappointed.

    Because you will most likely not get anything you want.

    7. Be ready to agree to every and anything.

    Because nobody wants any problems.

    8. Get ready to be interviewed for every thing you pick.

    That is if you are allowed to get anything.

    9. Get ready to be wowed by her bargaining skills.

    When she is haggling a price from N13,000 to N1,300.

    10. Get your patience levels to 110%.

    When she mistakenly spots the choir mistress in the crowd of people.

    11. Unfold your mat, sleeping bag or chair and relax.

    it is going to be a longer day.

    12. And never forget to say “God bless you”.

    When she finally says “Let us head home”.

    Tobi Smith

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  • All The Things Nigerians Experience on Black Friday

    All The Things Nigerians Experience on Black Friday
    Black Friday if you did not know is a day reserved in November where prices are slashed and reduced drastically and companies give huge discounts and gift cards on item purchases, nobody ever wants to miss it. Here is a Black Friday experience and we are not alone on this for sure!

    1. People who always say “I am waiting for Black Friday” all year long.

    Okay now let us see about that, the day is coming.

    2. And they never stop blabbing about it once November starts.

    Can we hear word please?

    3. But then you check what the hype is all about.

    Well it would not hurt to see what it is about.

    4. And then you see a ridiculous price for an item you’ve always wanted.

    You don’t mean it!

    5. And you become the number one face of “Waiting for Black Friday”.

    We are about to buy out the store!

    6. So you buy data and wait on the website for the deals to drop.

    We all gonna die on the line.

    7. And you keep refreshing the page…

    I must not miss this thing today.

    8. But then something looks fishy.

    Oh no I did not wait ten months for this.

    9. The site is crashing.

    What is going on? What is happening?

    10. And then the page finally loads back up!

    I was about to lose hope.

    11. But the item is sold out.

    *cries in failed promises and expectations* What a waste, what is life, what do we have to live for.

    12. So you have to try amazon.com

    Lets give this another shot!

    13. But you see…

    What is wrong with the world today?

    14. So you resign to fate.

    It will be better next year…by God’s grace.

    Tobi Smith

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  • QUIZ: What Should You Splurge on This Easter?

    QUIZ: What Should You Splurge on This Easter?

    Confused about what to splurge on this Easter period? We’ve got you.

    Ibukun

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