Before you go for your next “appointment”, you need to update your playlist. Take this quiz to see what song to add.
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If you get more than 8 lyrics correctly on this list, your pants might need to be padlocked. You’re too horny.
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Some people hear a voice in their head when they think and some people just don’t. In the same way, some people need to listen to music when having sex and those who don’t.
If you are part of the former and you’re a Nigerian, then you likely need a selection of Nigerian songs that are relatable which you can listen to when having coitus. To help on this front, we spoke to eight Nigerians on the Nigerian songs they have in their sex playlist and the answers are fascinating.
Ready? Let’s go!
Vee.
Ma Pariwo by Zinolessky
It’s like Neighbours Know My Name by Trey Songz but in Yoruba. It’s a great sex song, not too slow but with a steady beat.
Ayo.
Tipsy by Odunsi The Engine feat RAYE and Rock Your Body by Burna Boy.
These mostly because I can picture myself moving to them, either dancing or having sex.
Lola.
Chineke Meh by Ezi Emela
It sounds like a Christian song of someone calling God but it’s about a girl screaming God’s name as her partner touches her.
Aisha.
Tattoo by Fireboy DML
The song has this power that makes me feel super loved and confident with my skin and the skin of my lover.
Nnanna.
Right Now by Seyi Shay
This song is on my sex playlist because it is a mood setter.
G-Sting.
Sad U Broke My Heart by Amaare
This song feels like having one of the best sex of your life with a toxic ex. You know it’s bad for you but you’re enjoying the fuck out of yourself.
Dammy.
Fores by Tay Iwar.
Adding this song because it sets the mood and is perfect for back shots.
Temple.
Like Me – Jess ETA and SGaWD
The tempo is right, with excellent lyrics, vocals with the texture of velvet.
Freaky – Santi
Love that the lyrics depict a mixture of enjoying guilty pleasures and lovelorn yearning.
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Prior to what the internet and that certain website say, sex can be very awkward. If there is one thing that can ease the tension, it is music. As we are in the business of being generous, we have complied 7 foolproof methods to help you create the perfect sex playlist
1. Ask your father for song recommendations
Our parents spend all their time complaining about our music but in their days, all they sang about was good loving.
You better ask, a closed mouth is a closed destiny 2. Pick songs you don’t listen to often
So that you don’t sing mid-gives and when it comes up on a playlist while you’re at the office, you don’t blackout for one hour.
3. Check to see if you can slowly whine your waist to the beat.
They say practice makes perfect. Plus, how else would you know how good your whine-to-rhythm coordination is?
This is how it should be! 4. Add a French song
You might not know the meaning but add a slow French song and thank me later. Cava bien merci, kpa-kpa-kpa.
5. Neo-soul and R&B is the way
Now is not the time to impress your partner with your good taste in indie/alternative music, please that’s not the thing to focus on. If you want to add a little spice, you can add a Naira Marley song or Tesojue by Reminisce.
if you know, you know 6. Put songs your partner likes
It’ll make them smile or giggle and they’ll know you were thinking about them.
IDK I don’t do ungodly acts sha. 7. Keep it short and simple
Please not more than ten songs, when it’s not a listening party.
Try dey calm down In the end, the playlist doesn’t matter, It’s kuku just background noise to your partner’s music.
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Contrary to popular belief (that they’re are meant to set the mood), sex playlists are made exclusively to mask sex noises so your neighbours don’t come knocking at your door in the morning, trying to find out if witchcraft was the reason you chose to choke a pregnant farm animal at midnight.
With that in mind, here are 5 upbeat songs all y’all should add to your sex playlists so you and your partner can bray as loud as the kids-turned-donkeys at Pleasure Island while bumping genitals.
1) ‘Slob on my Knob‘ by Three Six Mafia
Song Lyrics:
Slob on my knob
Like corn on the cob
Check-in with me, and do your jobJuicy J goes on to ask the girl he’s speaking with to lay on the bed, give him head, and squeeze his nuts. All this before he works in a polite request to let him and his boys run a train on her.
2) ‘Me So Horny’ by 2 Live Crew
Song Lyrics:
“What’ll we get for ten dollars?”
“Every ‘ting you want”
“Everything?”
“Every ‘ting”
“Oh! Don’t do that, baby! Ah!”
“Hold on this! Oh, sock it to me, Ah!”
“Oh”The song starts with an interaction between two white men and a Vietnamese prostitute about how many sex acts they can get for $10. (The intro above.) The prostitute tells them that $10 will, in fact, get them everything. As soon as this happens, the audio cuts to all parties having sex and moaning in ecstasy.
All this happens before the actual song starts.
3) Tony Matterhorn – Dutty Wine
Song Lyrics:
So fuckin inna wata, fuckin inna sea
Fuckin inna bushes, and fuckin inna tree
If you fuck pon di bed your not fucking me
Fuck pon di floor, fuck pon di t.v.
Fuck pon di dresser, and bruk up figurine
Fuck pon di fan, no gyal no finga me
When mi see di hot gyal dem dat a trigga me
Fuck any where, let fuck be freeEnough said.
4) ‘Bana’ by Niniola
Song Lyrics:
Omorogun ni mo poundie
Tin ba rise mi’ mo poundie o
Anything I say na poundie o, olo
The way you put it down upon me o
When you put it down upon me o
Anything I say na poundie oWe hear you Niniola. Loud and clear.
5) Terry G – Akpako Master
C’mon. Much like Beyonce’s ‘Ego‘, we all know what this song is about. We all know what it means to “knack someone akpako”. And the bells. You know. Stop pretending.
Just stop it.
