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  • 16 Dining Hall Struggles Every Nigerian Boarder Will Remember

    1. When a senior wants to punish you some minutes to dining time.

    Don’t let the devil use you.

    2. When your provisions have finished and you hear dining bell.

    Can’t come and carry last.

    3. When you can see them about to close the dining hall door.

    God forbid.

    4. When someone tries to jump the line to collect food.

    Please just respect yourself.

    5. When the dining hall prefect asks “who wants extra plantain?”

    See question oh!

    6. You, watching two seniors fight in the dining hall.

    Are you not entertained?

    7. How the dining hall looks when the food is jollof rice and chicken:

    Who no like better thing?

    8. When you get to the hall 5 minutes late and you hear food has finished.

    Are you people animals?

    9. The hall, when a senior declares “MASSACRE”:

    Every man for himself.

    10. How you eat when your guy gets chosen to be dining hall prefect:

    WINNING!

    11. When they take light in the hall and everyone starts shouting.

    Are you people not Nigerians again?

    12. When you’re hungry and that wicked senior tells you to bring your food.

    Is it fair?

    13. When someone brings milk to the hall on pap and akara day.

    Our hero.

    14. When the dining hall prefect calls for extra food.

    We hail oh!

    15. When they are serving beans and all the girls are forming.

    Starve oh!

    16. When you’re still eating and you hear “LEAVE THE DINING HALL”

    EXCUZ MI?

    Daniel Orubo

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  • 16 Things Nigerians Who Attended Social Night In Secondary School Will Get

    1. When the house master says social night won’t hold again.

    Edakun sir.

    2. When it’s social night and they lock you and your guys in the hostel.

    God forbid bad thing.

    3. You and your squad turning up in the mufti you snuck in.

    Baddest guys.

    4. When all the couples are grinding but your single ass is just there like:

    See my life.

    5. When you finally get to dance with your crush and a senior comes to chance you.

    Don’t do this.

    6. Social night at all-boys schools be like:

    Let’s manage.

    7. When your efforts are not being appreciated.

    8. When the whole set shares one lipstick for that night.

    We must slay by force.

    9. Your face, when one junior boy tries to grind you.

    Who is this one?

    10. When you see girls coming to social night with their novels.

    Behave yourself.

    11. When all the girls are fronting and dancing with only themselves.

    Is it fair?

    12. When a guy is rocking the only babe that’s down to dance and he is wasting time.

    Move na.

    13. When someone turns off the light in the hall.

    Jisos!

    14. When the night starts getting sweet and you hear “all junior boys to your hostels.”

    Hay God!

    15. You, after dancing with the hottest senior in your school.

    Winning!

    16. When petty seniors punish you for getting grinds when they didn’t.

    Is it my fault you’re a skrep?

    Daniel Orubo

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  • 17 Pictures You’ll Understand If You Ever Had A Nigerian Secondary School Teacher

    1. When you greet them and they ask “what’s good about the morning?”

    Ah! No vex.

    2. When they write “see me” on your assignment.

    Oh God! What did I do again?

    3. How you feel when you enter the teachers’ staff room:

    Chai! Who sent me message?

    4. When they tell you to buy cane and bring to school.

    Is this even fair?

    5. When they are flogging you and they say “if you touch it, I’ll start again.”

    Please epp me.

    6. When they start cleaning the board and you tell them you haven’t finished copying it.

    Hian! Take it easy.

    7. When that teacher that hates you tries to be nice to you on visiting day.

    Save it.

    8. When your favorite teacher bad mouths you to your parents on open day.

    Wow. Is it like that?

    9. When they wait for their period to be over before they ask “any questions?”

    Better carry your load and go.

    10. When they hear that your next class is a free period.

    Ugh! Just leave us.

    11. When they tell the class captain to write names of noise makers and they don’t collect it.

    Look at God!

    12. When they ask a question and ignore all your classmates with their hands up and pick you.

    Why are you asking me? Did I raise my hand?

    13. How they set questions:

    Jisos!

    14. When they wish you good luck before an exam.

    See this devil.

    15. When they look at your script during a test and shake their head.

    Hay God! Should I just start again?

    16. How they mark your exam:

    17. When you get everything in your exam but they still keep that 1 mark for themselves.

    Na wa! Is it that 1 mark you will eat at home?

    Daniel Orubo

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  • 15 Things Every Nigerian Will Remember About Being A Senior In Secondary School

    1. When you finally enter SS1 and can change uniform and punish juniors.

    TURN UP!!!

    2. When you become a senior and they suddenly say you cannot punish juniors again.

    After all I suffered? NEVER!

    3. When you send a junior and he says “no.”

    Am I dreaming?

    4. When a prefect that is your mate tries to punish you.

    Is your uncle mad?

    5. When you ask a junior for provisions and they say they haven’t opened it yet.

    Are you confused?

    6. When you see someone punishing your school child.

    Better respect yourself.

    7. When you send a junior and you hear them grumbling.

    What did you say?

    8. When you punish a junior and you see them heading to the staff room.

    Ah! I don enter am.

    9. When that rude junior you and your guys have been timing enters senior block.

    It’s all over.

    10. When a junior starts an excuse with “my mummy said…”

    Just shut up, abeg.

    11. When you send a junior and they say someone already sent them.

    How does that one concern me?

    12. When a junior tries to fight with someone in your class.

    You’re not even afraid?

    13. When you beat a junior and they come to school with their parents.

    Ahahn! That small beating.

    14. When you see your school child carrying provisions on visiting day.

    God is really good.

    15. When a junior enters your class.

    See dead man walking.

    Daniel Orubo

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