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  • 6 Secrets You Should Definitely Keep From Your Partner

    6 Secrets You Should Definitely Keep From Your Partner

    It’s good for you and your partner to have no secrets between each other, but it’s even better if these are the secrets you’re choosing to keep from them. Because these are secrets you should definitely tell your partner. 

    That you eat semo 

    Eating semo is a thing of shame and you should be too embarrassed to even eat it. Why then is that something that should be shared with a significant other? What if they stop loving you? Please, abeg. 

    How many slices of bread you can eat

    Bread is the best thing ever and that’s why you don’t just divulge how much of it you can consume in a single sitting. It’s a spiritual journey and should be experienced by you and you alone. Take that secret to your grave.

    RELATED: The 9 Things We Don’t Like About Being in Relationships

    That you call garri “cassava flakes”

    We are embarrassed for you, and we’re sure anybody you’re dating will be too, if they find out. Save yourself the embarrassment and carry it to your grave. 

    What episode you’re watching in a TV show

    Either they spoil it for you or they make you wait for them so they can catch up and you’d watch together. But they never catch up and you lose interest. 

    RELATED: 8 Painful Words That Can Cause Instant Heartbreak

    If you have pictures of yourself in “Ama Kip Kip” T-shirts

    They’d never look at you the same way again. Because once they set their eyes on those pictures, they’d laugh as if they were sprayed with laughing gas. 

    If you’re ticklish 

    If they have this useful information, you’ll never win a pillow fight again. The moment you start to win, they’ll tickle you like they want to end your life. Protect yourself and stay guiding. 

    RELATED: 8 Things to Do in a Room Full of Your Lovers and Your Exes

    Itohan Esekheigbe

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  • 20 Nigerians Say What They’d Rather Die Than Share With Their Partners

    20 Nigerians Say What They’d Rather Die Than Share With Their Partners

    Every relationship has its secrets, things that both parties are not quite comfortable sharing with each other. Like the one time you slept with girlfriend’s father thrice or the fact that you have to think of your ex-boyfriend during sex to have an orgasm. I asked 20 Nigerians what they won’t share with their partner even at gunpoint and this is what they had to say. 

    Chioma, Female

    Toothbrush. I am more willing to tell my partner I slept with his brother than share his toothbrush. Even stick deodorant is a problem but I will sniff his pits though.

    Dami, Female

    Chicken wings. On God, I don’t play with my wings.

    Alvin, Male

    Account details. I can do phone password though.

    Amaka, Female

    I cheated before. 

    Rukky, Female

    I stop on the road to watch people fight.

    Quincy, Male

    A joint account. Individuality in a relationship is really important.

    Nkeiru, Female

    I’d rather die than tell my partner I had serious sexual fantasies about one of his close friends.

    Zainab, Female

    Shawarma. I’d much rather remove my left breast. 

    Red, Male

    Toothbrush. Sharing toothbrushes is like drinking dirty dishwater. You use it to remove filth from your mouth so why should I put it in my mouth? Disgusting, please. 

    Cynthia, Female

    Wine cork collection, mismatched socks, all my physical time, black t-shirts. I know it’s weird but I’m picky about stuff.

    Festus, Male

    My diary. If she ever found out the things I’ve written about her and other people, she’d freak out.

    Stephanie, Female

    I still stalk my ex sometimes.

    Ese, Male

    Eris, you’re literally my partner. Werey dey disguise. 

    Katherine, Female

    Body count, state of my finances (actual account balance). Why do you want to know? 

    Ayo, Male

    My asshole. If she wants to share hers, that’s fine.

    Sophie, Female

    The one time I gave our mutual friend lap dance. So embarrassing. 

    Tobi, Male

    My email password.

    Bola, Female

    I’d rather die than tell my current partner that I was in a relationship with a married man for 2 years and recently just ended it.

    Emem, Female

    I sometimes fantasize about doing it with other guys. 

    Chinedu, Male

    There are certain trauma I’ve experienced that I cannot share because if they ever used it in an argument, I’d be devastated. 

    Recommended: 7 Simple Couch Surfing Etiquette For Squatters

    Eris Ekanem

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  • 14 Things Girls Do That Guys Will Never Understand

    14 Things Girls Do That Guys Will Never Understand

    1. When we say we have nothing to wear, it really means we don’t know WHAT to wear.

    It’s really not a lack of choices, just indecision.

    2. When we say no, SOMETIMES we really mean not right now.

    But that’s only sometimes o. Other times, a no will always be a no.

    3. When we don’t tell you what’s wrong, it’s because we’re secretly expecting you to know and to say it before we have to.

    4. That buying underwear thing isn’t about being cheap, we’ve just seen your underwear and we think you need a glow up.

    5. Sexy time noises has nothing to do with your penis. NOTHING.

    And this is because sometimes…

    Sorry, not sorry.

    6. We’re always right. ALWAYS.

    And even if we end up not being right, later on, we will still be. Just watch and see.

    7. We don’t just like missionary because it’s easy, it’s because it keeps the ass within reach.

    8. And when you catch us starting at your back, we’re actually secretly looking at your ass.

    Oh, did you think you guys are the only ones that enjoy looking at ass?

    9. Yes, heels can be painful and uncomfortable, but we love the way we feel when we wear them.

    Wearing heels is not about getting a guy to notice us, it’s about feeling on top of the world.

    10. When we look at you like this…

    …we’re really wondering how to kill you in your sleep.

    11. Sometimes when we’re upset, it’s not about you, we really just want food.

    12. We love big bags because they can carry EVERYTHING we need or think we might need and we like to be prepared.

    13. We’re actually secretly control freaks and that’s why we like to know everything.

    14. This is the real reason girls go to the toilet together:

    Yes, all your suspicions were correct.

    More Zikoko!

    https://zikoko.com/list/14-embarrassing-things-guys-can-never-tell-girls/

    Ronke Otega

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  • The Stress Of Keeping A Secret When Your Default Setting Is Tatafo

    1. So you are just by yourself, trying to mind your business for once.

    2. Then one of your friend calls you and says she has some “hot gist”.

    3. Then she starts talking and talking.

    4. Meanwhile your eyes are getting bigger and bigger, like:

    5. When she finishes she now says “hmm don’t tell anybody oh!”.

    6. Ah! WHAT?

    7. So you are just supposed to keep it to yourself? Ah. How?

    8. When you overhear someone talking about something similar, you’re like:

    9. When you almost allow the gist slip by mistake.

    10. When the gist spread and you are worried you told someone in your dream.

    11. When someone else wants to give you another gist, you’re like:

    Jola Ayeye

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