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salary | Zikoko!
  • The #NairaLife of a Pharmacist Who Overcame a Loan App Addiction

    Every week, Zikoko seeks to understand how people move the Naira in and out of their lives. Some stories will be struggle-ish, others will be bougie. All the time, it’ll be revealing.


    Nairalife #252 Bio

    What’s your earliest memory of money?

    I always had home-cooked food for lunch throughout primary and secondary school, while my friends would get money to buy snacks or whatever they wanted. I grew up in a middle-class family, but I didn’t have direct access to money. It was like something only the adults in my family could have.

    How “middle-class” was your family?

    My dad worked in a bank, and my mum worked in an airline company, so the money was good. My mum had access to discounted tickets, so we flew for international holidays at least once yearly. We had three cars and lived in a ₦1m/month rented apartment. Our neighbourhood in Lagos Mainland was quite mixed; there were really comfortable people and people struggling to make ends meet. I think this mixed upbringing is why I don’t want obscene wealth today. I just want to be comfortable.

    My dad operated on the same values. He was an auditor, so he constantly drilled the “never steal money” lesson in me and my siblings’ heads. Even at work, he was a very “play by the rules” kind of person, which earned him some enemies. He lost his job to rightsizing in 2011 when I was in SS 2. My mum had quit her job a year earlier to focus on becoming an entrepreneur, so my dad losing his job changed some things at home.

    What were some of these changes?

    My dad’s work at the bank gave my mum access to loans for her business. She imported clothes from Turkey to sell at a mark-up. The loans allowed her to go on the trips and stock her three shops. Without his job, there were no more loans, so she had to downscale the business. 

    Our international holiday trips stopped, and there were no more random Chinese restaurant trips. We also never renewed our Ikoyi Club membership. Thankfully, my dad used the settlement he got from the bank to purchase a house in 2012, so we didn’t have to bother about rent. At some point, my dad did some consulting, but nothing steady.

    Do you remember the first thing you did to earn money?

    I got into the university to study pharmacy in 2013, and in my five years there, the only time I ever worked for money was during industrial training in my third year. The company paid me ₦15k after working for six weeks. I also got a ₦50k endowment allowance — given to first-class students — from school in my third and fourth years.

    I just wasn’t someone to carry work on my head. It helped that I schooled in Lagos, so I could always go home when I exhausted the ₦4k – ₦5k weekly allowance my parents gave me. It was around this time I realised that money can control you. I couldn’t break away from my parents because they were my primary source of money.

    After my project defence in December 2018, I started seeking to earn my own money. A school strike delayed my graduation and induction, but I eventually got a locum pharmacist job in March 2019 for ₦50k/month — ₦47k after deductions. 

    What were your expenses like?

    Transportation and food took all the money. I also occasionally contributed to expenses at home.

    I was still at the job when the induction ceremony for graduating pharmacy students finally happened in May 2019. The compulsory one-year internship for pharmacists came after. At first, I didn’t want to intern at a community pharmacy because they don’t pay well, so I targeted a hospital or government agency. 

    However, my search was unsuccessful, so I settled for a ₦90k/month internship at a community pharmacy in December 2019. After a month, a teaching hospital finally reached out to me, and I jumped at the ₦126k/month offer.

    A significant increase

    COVID made it even more significant. I don’t want the pandemic to return o, but I wouldn’t mind if we had something lockdown-ish again. It came with an increased hazard allowance for health workers, so I got an extra ₦30k for two months, and ₦50k in the third month.

    Although I didn’t get paid in the first month due to the normal government bureaucracy, I was paid two months’ salary in March. 

    So you were balling?

    I was, but I also spent most of what I earned paying back loans. 

    What loans?

    I first discovered mobile loan apps on social media while doing the ₦50k locum job. It started with just needing small change to sort something out before my salary dropped, but the interest rates are crazy, and you find that you’re paying back up to ₦12k on a ₦7k loan. When salary drops, you realise you need to top up because the repayment has eaten into your budget. It’s a vicious cycle that followed me into the internship. 

    When the double alert came, I paid off outstanding loans and took another one with a phone retailer that allows you to buy in installments. I got a Samsung phone that cost ₦160k and paid ₦80k outright. The balance summed up to ₦120k, including interest, which I paid off over a couple of months. At that point, I was using a third of my salary to service the loans.

    Some of my money also went to my dad. He occasionally took ₦20k or ₦50k loans from me but never paid back. I also saved a bit, and by the end of 2020, I had close to ₦200k in savings.

    What happened after the internship ended?

    NYSC. Most medical professionals can relate to it being a period of uncertainty because you go from earning a good salary to a mere ₦33k/month stipend. I decided to use my savings to get a laptop, learn some tech skills to increase my earning potential and possibly get a side gig.

    I went to Ikeja to purchase said laptop, but then, I got robbed of my phone on the way. Thankfully, the thieves couldn’t access the account that had my savings. But the experience scattered my plans. I had to spend two weeks navigating the NIN process to retrieve my sim, abandoning the side gig plans.

    NYSC posted me to a state in southern Nigeria in 2021, where I moved in with a fellow corps member. My half of the rent and other bills was about ₦110k for the year. My PPA was a general hospital that didn’t pay anything extra, so I hardly showed up. I relied on NYSC’s stipend and the occasional allowance from home. 

    I also continued taking loans — I must’ve taken up to ₦100k in loans during my service year.

    Did you try to do anything else for money?

    I got another locum pharmacist job two months into my service year in June 2021. Someone I met at CDS introduced me to this community pharmacy that paid ₦57k/month. It’s still one of my favourite locum experiences so far. My boss had no issues and even increased my salary in November to ₦76k/month. He also gave me an extra ₦70k Christmas bonus. 

    I’m not sure how I managed it, but even with the added income, I wasn’t free from the loan cycle. I hardly went out and didn’t spend so much on transportation or clothes. I randomly shopped online and had some black tax expenses, but it shouldn’t have been enough to keep me in my constant borrowing cycle. 

    But I was still in the vicious cycle set in motion from my very first loan.

    I finished NYSC in February 2022 and considered staying back in the state I served. The original plan was to request to be converted into a full-time staff at the pharmacy, but then, I landed a temporary position at a public health organisation in the state. Temporary because they worked with donor funds and could only guarantee me a job while they still had funds.

    How much did the job pay?

    ₦209k/month. It was also a break from working long hours almost every day at the community pharmacy. My major expense was black tax from my younger sister. I got into a relationship too, but I only spent on my girlfriend when we went out on dates at least once a month or when I more frequently stopped by her workplace with food. 

    In March, I moved out of my NYSC apartment into a two-bedroom with a roommate. My half of the rent was ₦275k, which I didn’t have at the time, so I took a ₦100k loan from a loan app and another ₦101k loan from my roommate.

    The donor funds at my job expired in July. I was unemployed until September when I got a one-week gig at an NGO that paid ₦209k — the standard pay for my role in the NGO industry. In November 2022, the public health organisation that ran on donor funds (my former job) called me back, and I resumed my ₦209k/month role. During the months of unemployment, I took on academic writing gigs for UK master’s students who were doing work-study programs. I had a friend who hooked me up, and I’d get ₦15k or ₦20k gigs once in a while. 

    I also took occasional loans from my roommate and girlfriend. She didn’t know about my loan apps problem, though.

    Were you ashamed of it?

    I definitely wasn’t proud of it. 

    Before I got my job back in November, a loan company called my dad after I defaulted on a payment. I’m still grateful he didn’t tell anyone else, or it’d have been a whole family meeting. He called me to ask what was happening, and I lied that I took the loan when I lost my phone, and that I’d settle it. That call was the drive I needed to sit up and stop the loan cycle once and for all. I couldn’t be in debt forever. I wasn’t saving, investing or doing anything worthwhile, and that wasn’t the life I wanted.

    I decided to focus on taking my job even more seriously. I knew unemployment could take me back down the loan route, so I wanted to be indispensable at work, donor funds or not. I also continued taking the freelancing gigs, and in a good month, it brought an additional ₦50k.

    In March 2023, I finally landed my first permanent public health pharmacist role at an NGO. It paid ₦500k/month during the six-month confirmation period. They now pay me ₦450k/month.

    The pay reduced?

    Confirmation meant they had to start removing tax and other compulsory stuff. I’m terrible at keeping track of deductions. I just know the company pays for my pension and health insurance charges. 

    The job was also in a different state, so I had to move and get a new laptop. I took a final ₦400k loan from an app to do this, and I just finished repaying it in November. I was comfortable taking this loan because I knew my salary could cover it.

    My salary is also not the only way to make money at my job.

    Tell me more

    Work trips are where the money is at. They assign you to a secondary location for a couple of days and pay a per diem — an allowance for the trip. This blew my mind. You mean, you’ll foot transportation costs, lodge me in a hotel with complimentary breakfast AND still pay me daily because of the stress of the trip? Wonderful. The trips never go beyond a week, but it adds an extra ₦20k – ₦180k to my income at the end of the month.

    What do you spend this money on?

    I live in a dead town, which says a lot coming from an introverted person. So, I like to pop into Lagos once in a while, like an IJGB, to have a good time. I’ve been to Lagos thrice this year, and I spent around ₦30k – ₦70k on each trip. I also send around ₦60k monthly to my parents to help out with my dad’s medication and support the income. Then there’s the random money I send to my siblings.

    What do these expenses look like in a good month?

    Nairalife #252 Monthly Expenses

    I mentioned I just finished repaying a ₦400k loan. That took ₦120k out of my income every month, but that’s done now. I don’t put an amount to feeding because I just feed myself based on what I have left. My rent is ₦250k yearly, which is half my monthly income, so I figure I don’t have to actively save monthly for it.

    Sometimes, I save more when I get more money from work trips. I currently have $750 saved in a fintech app, and I hope to cross the $1k threshold by January 2024. I’m worried my parents could have a hospital emergency at any time, and I want to be ready. I also want to japa one day, but I don’t have a particular route yet, so I want to have the money down first.

    What’s your relationship with money like now?

    I used to be quite impulsive with spending because my mentality was, “Another one will come eventually”. But that’s how the loan addiction started. Now, I make sure to save something immediately my salary comes in. Since I was repaying a loan up until November 2023, I’ve only saved ₦50k constantly monthly since I got my job in March. I hope to increase that now that I’m debt-free. 

    Do you ever feel tempted to take another loan?

    I literally just opened a microfinance bank app today, and they offered me a ₦1.4m loan. I considered taking it and investing in a business until my brain told me to calm the hell down. The fact that I can take the loan doesn’t mean I should do it.

    I think I understand I have the tendency to make stupid money decisions, but I choose to protect my mental health now. Why do something and get depressed about it when I can actually choose NOT to do it?

    That’s fair. Do you have an ideal monthly salary?

    I just want to earn at least ₦1m/month. I don’t have any entrepreneurial blood in me, and I think that’s a decent amount to suffice for me waking up every day to do a 9-5. I’m trying to psych myself up to get public health, logistics and supply chain certifications in 2024 to help my future japa plans and increase my earning potential. 

    I don’t want to be obscenely rich, though. People with crazy amounts of money have to do unethical things to get there, and I can’t do that. I’d rather take a smaller payday. 

    Have you considered what these certifications would cost?

    I have, and they’re quite expensive. One costs as much as $2k. I’m hoping to get grants from my job, but before then, I’ll probably take advantage of as many free and less expensive courses as I can to gather knowledge. I just need guidance and strength to push through with these plans and not get discouraged along the way. 

    How would you rate your financial happiness on a scale of 1 – 10?

    This is one of my favourite Naira Life questions. I’ll rate it a 7.5. I could be better, but I’m happy, and I can deal with what I have now.


    If you’re interested in talking about your Naira Life story, this is a good place to start.

    Find all the past Naira Life stories here.


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  • How Much Should These Nigerian Professions Really Earn?

    Bank staff – ₦‎60k

    They already count more than enough money every day. Why would they ever need more?

    Politicians – ₦‎33k

    If they really want to be public servants, they should lead by example and collect a minimum wage. It’s the least they can do.

    Barbers –  ₦‎1 million

    They can literally mess up your look for the next month. You definitely don’t want to mess with their pay.

    Policemen – ₦‎500k

    Let’s pay them well enough that it won’t even occur to them to stress us whenever we meet them on the road.

    Teachers – ₦500k

    Do you really want to underpay the people responsible for ensuring your child’s future is bright? Do you want to pay for a low-current future?

    Doctors – Whatever they ask for

    We don’t even have enough of them, so we can’t afford to play hard-to-get with the people japa-ing  every other Tuesday.

    Lagos babes – Everything and more

    Like it or not, being a Lagos babe is a full-time profession. Serving looks not only requires talent, but lots of money too. That’s why ‎they deserve everything.


    NEXT READ: Fake It Till You Make It? — 7 Nigerians on Landing Jobs Without the Required Experience


  • The Best Nigerian Songs to Listen to When That Credit Alert Hits

    If there’s one thing that makes Nigerians (well, anybody) happy, it’s salary week

    If you know you’re getting ready to cash out over the next few days, this playlist is for you. Remember to enjoy this moment because SAPA is always around the corner, waiting to take your last card. 

    Chop My Money — P-Square

    This is a great song to sing in the club when that salary hits. But also note that this is an invitation, so don’t be mad if someone does indeed chop your money in the end. 

    2 Sugar — Wizkid and Ayra Starr 

    2 Sugar off Wizkid’s More Love, Less Ego might hint at protecting your mental health. But the way Ayra sings, “Sho ri nonsense, ma gbe sun mo mi” makes it the perfect song to dedicate to all those people who wait until salary week to ask if they can borrow small cash for one problem or the other. Ogbeni, “I dey fight my own demons, don’t you see?” 

    Peace Be Unto You (PBUY) — Asake 

    Asake is the current, always-dropping music, reigning king of party music in Nigeria. Period. But if there’s one of his many hit songs that I’d gladly put on a salary week playlist, it’s Peace Be Unto You (PBUY). On this song, Asake recognises that hard work brings money into your account, so my dear, spend that cash because you earned it. However, the best part is when he sings, “Before them use me, I go use myself”, meaning spend your money before unnecessary wahala lands on your doorstep to snatch it from you. 

    Billionaire — Stanley Okorie

    It doesn’t matter whether your salary is in billions, millions, hundreds of thousands or just small thousands; you’ll relate to Stanley Okorie’s Billionaire on salary day. But please and please, take that “no mercy for money” part with a pinch of salt. After all, the song’s title is still “Billionaire”, not ₦10k. 

    Unavailable — Davido and Musa Keys 

    This special number is dedicated to bills and people who like to bill. Yes, it’s salary week, but like Davido said, “If it’s not owo, I can’t talk”. So, forget I exist unless you plan on giving me more money. We’ll all be fine last last. 

    Holiday — Rema

    It’s good to celebrate salary week, but it’s also good to remember all the times when bad belle people cast you away. Nothing screams “New money” like a good grass-to-grace story. 

    RECOMMENDED: Rema Hasn’t Missed Since 2019 and We Can Prove It

    Who’s Your Guy? — Spyro 

    Who’s the big boss in the street right now? Yes, it’s you, bitch. Now that salary has come, best believe you’re about to be everybody’s guy. Just remember to divide the bill by everybody on the table because the money still has to last you until next month. 

    Asiwaju — Ruger 

    This song might be tied to someone who allegedly sold drugs — I said, “allegedly” here, and I didn’t mention names. But it doesn’t mean you can’t use it to celebrate your win as a fucking baller who’s ahead of people whose salary doesn’t come until the first week of a new month. 

    Who Born the Maga — Wande Coal and K-Switch 

    Having natural confidence is sweet. But you know what’s sweeter? Having natural confidence that’s also backed by funds. No one can tell you nonsense during salary week. No, like, who actually born the maga? Having money is the real BDE, trust me. 

    Bandana — Fireboy DML and Asake

    This song works two ways. One, it’s a reminder to everyone that you’ve arrived now that the bag has been secured. But it could also serve as a warning from SAPA that you’ll never see him coming. So, tap into whichever anointing and spirit you feel when singing Asake’s chorus. 

    Party No Dey Stop — Adekunle Gold and Zinoleesky 

    Yes, this is an Adekunle Gold banger, but it’s also the motto for the first two weekends after salary drops. Why are you at home on a Friday night with all that money in your account? Better listen to AG and Zino and go pop some bottles — champagne or beer, a bottle is a bottle. 

    Loaded — Tiwa Savage and Asake 

    This song doesn’t need too much serenre because you get the gist when Asake starts singing, “I’m loaded”. It’s either you’re loaded, or you’re not. Loaded people, please, come to the front. The rest of you, go and listen to Tiwa’s Stamina until your money drops because that’s what you’ll need to withstand the SAPA. 

    Finesse — Pheelz and BNXN 

    No, but whose business is it that you’re broke? Sure, you’ll have to inconvenience your friends and family by borrowing money and begging for food later, but for now, enjoy Folake for the night

    Suffer Suffer — Lady Donli 

    Raise your hands if you didn’t come to this life to suffer. This Lady Donli anthem off her 2019 album, Enjoy Your Life, is a perfect reminder that we were put on earth to have a good time (another Lady Donli song). Suffering is not your portion, so wipe away that poverty mentality and enjoy some of the money you busted your butt making over the last month. 

    Godwin — Korede Bello 

    What God cannot do does not exist. It’s not easy being a salary earner. 

    ALSO READ: We Don’t Rate You If You’re Not Listening to These 10 Female Artists

    Listen to our salary playlist here:

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  • “My Take-Home Salary Doesn’t Take Me Home” – 7 Nigerian Blue-Collar Workers on Their Incomes

    If you belong to the sapa-inflicted group of Nigerians like most of us do — 63% of Nigerians, to be exact — you’ve probably never had to ask yourself, “How much should I pay my maid or driver?” Because you immediately know you’re unable to afford such services.

    There have been many debates on the TL about how much is okay to pay blue-collar workers. But Nigerian Twitter can claim one thing, while reality says another. So I spoke to seven workers, and they shared what they really earn, as well as how much their earnings have grown over the years.

    “My take-home salary doesn’t take me home”

    — Sunday, 46, Personal driver

    I’ve been a driver for about ten years. I turned to this career path when teaching at private schools stopped making sense. Imagine teaching a class on every subject, with the stress of forming lesson notes and exam questions, only to get ₦7,500 at the end of the month.

    The father of one of my students complained about driving alone from Ekiti to Lagos every two weeks because of his job, and as a sharp man, I claimed I could do it, even though I’d never driven interstate. That’s how I got my first driving job in 2013. It was a three-day journey every two weeks. I had to wait with him in Lagos until he returned to Ekiti, and he paid me ₦10k a month. I did that for about three years before he finally moved to Lagos, and I got my current job driving a polytechnic staff member in 2017. I drive him around from 9 a.m. to 6 or 7 p.m. daily before going to my house. He paid me ₦15k at first. But in 2021, my wife gave birth to our third child, so I complained about money, and he increased it to ₦18k. 

    The take-home salary doesn’t take me home at all. Most times, I’m in debt before I receive it. But my oga’s wife helps by giving me foodstuff and gifts for my children sometimes. I always say she’s the reason I’m still working here. I don’t know if I’ll ever retire or what I’d be doing if I’m not driving. Maybe I’d pay more attention to my farm, but many people farm in Ekiti. How much would I gain?

    “I don’t know how much my salary is”

    — Toyin, 21, Live-in nanny and maid

    I work as a live-in nanny and housemaid for a couple with three children. I’ve been with them since they had their first child. I was 13 then, and had just finished JSS 2. 

    My dad was in prison for allegedly selling stolen generators, and my mum was really sick, so our family friend advised her to send one of her five children (which turned out to be me) to work. I came to Osogbo and started caring for my bosses’ child and the house. They used to send my salary home to my parents. But when I turned 16, they put me in a part-time adult school so I could do GCE and said my salary would pay for it. I passed my GCE in 2021, but I’m still trying to gain admission for a national diploma. I hardly have time to read because of my responsibilities, but I’m glad my bosses want me to get educated, so I have hope for a better future.


    ALSO READ: My Weirdest Gig: I Worked on a Client’s Dating Profile


    “I’m always owed”

    — Iyabo, 38, Laundry woman

    I wash clothes for a living. I’ve been doing this for about six years, and I get most of my jobs through referrals. My typical clients are female staff of the schools in my area, who hardly have time to wash their own clothes.

    I do the bulk of my work during the weekend when they’re around. When I first started, I charged around ₦1k for two or three large heaps of clothes, but now, I charge ₦3k – ₦5k. In a good month, I wash for at least one person every weekend. They provide soap and water, and I just wash. It’s a good arrangement because I can use the rest of the week for my other hustle, which is selling cooked food. 

    My major challenge with the laundry business is my clients always owe me. Sometimes, they’ll hold payment for three sets of washing and only pay at the end of the month. Some can even complain that the clothes aren’t clean just so they can reduce my money. And people are now buying washing machines. I’m not sure how long I’ll continue this job.

    “I can’t charge more than ₦80k for a full-day wedding coverage”

    — Chidi, 27, Photographer

    I started photography as a hobby in 2012. I learnt it through my church’s skill acquisition program. They even gifted me a camera for being the best student. But when I lost my job during the pandemic, my brother suggested I make money from it.

    So, I started taking passport photographs. I lived close to a polytechnic, so the students were my customers. I charged ₦300 for four passports and made like ₦5k a day. In 2021, I converted a small shop in front of my dad’s house into a mini studio and started offering photoshoots too.

    Now, my main clientele are wedding couples, but omo, they can be so annoying. It’s difficult to charge more than ₦80k for a full-day coverage because I’m in Akure, and these people are cheap. After all the stress, they’ll still want you to send their pictures immediately after the wedding. Like it’s that easy.

    “You have to fight to get paid a living wage”

    — Mrs. Akinyemi, 39, Cleaner

    I started cleaning homes and offices around 2018. My husband had just lost his job, and I had to support the home. I’ve seen things o. Apart from the fact that many people live like pigs, you have to fight to get paid a living wage.

    The first gig I got was a monthly payment of ₦10k for cleaning the office thrice a week. They always struggled to provide the necessary cleaning supplies like mops. I’d use a rag and be on all fours just to clean the floor. Then the money hardly went anywhere. Once I received salary, I’d go to the market to buy garri and rice, and that’s what we’d survive on till the next month.

    Now, I have two consistent cleaning jobs that pay me ₦20k and ₦35k. For both jobs, I clean three times a week. My finances are somewhat stable. Even though my husband has a job now, we have kids at the university, so I have to keep at it. 

    “I feel cheated”

    — Nifemi, 21, Printing assistant

    I’ve been trying to get admission into the university since 2022, but between JAMB jamming me and the countless ASUU strikes, I decided to take up a printing assistant job at one of the cafe’s near me. It’s my first job.

    My boss pays me ₦5k every month, and he said it was that low because students weren’t in school, and business was low. The strike was called off in October 2022, and business really picked up. Sometimes, he’d make ₦15k a day, yet he doesn’t want to increase my money. I feel cheated, but I can’t just sit at home without work or school.


    RECOMMENDED: The Nigerian Millennial’s Guide to Earning What You Deserve


    “I spend my income on medication”

    — Peace, 35, Hairdresser

    I’ve been making hair for more than a decade, and while I love being independent, it doesn’t really pay my bills. After getting my freedom from a three-year apprenticeship, I started my business and charged around ₦1k for braids with attachment.

    It’s funny because ten years later, I’ve only increased it to ₦5k, but people still price it down. Sometimes, I make only ₦8k per week. Maybe it’s because I’m in Ado-Ekiti, but the money isn’t worth it. My neighbours don’t even like paying. They claim I shouldn’t collect money from “ara ile”. And I spend my income on medication for back pain all the time because I stand all day. I don’t have any other handiwork, so if I stop making hair, I don’t know what I’ll do.


    Some responses have been translated from Yoruba to English and slightly edited for clarity.


    NEXT READ: Fake It Till You Make It? — 7 Nigerians on Landing Jobs Without the Required Experience

    GET YOUR TIX HERE
  • The Nigerian Millennial’s Guide to Earning What You Deserve

    Word on the streets is some 9-5ers still don’t know how to answer the “What’s your expected salary?” question. I also heard some just collect whatever amount is written in the offer letter.

    Ah. Don’t you like money, dear?

    I’m not even shading anyone. Some 9-5ers is me; I’m some 9-5ers. I also want to learn how to earn what I deserve, so I got these millennial professionals to share tips on what’s worked for them.

    “Research o”

    — Chinwe, 28, Human resource manager

    When I ask people what salary they’d like to receive, I expect their answers to show they’ve done their research. Like, how would you apply at a multinational and say you want to receive ordinary ₦150k? It may be much to you, depending on where you’re coming from, but you have to make your findings. Research o.

    Plus, research helps when the company doesn’t put the expected salary in the vacancy. I use Glassdoor. Your research should answer questions like, “What is the normal salary range for this role in this industry?” “How much does this company typically pay?” This is so you have something reasonable to say when the question comes up.

    “Know when to try”

    — Ola*, 31, Digital marketer

    It hinges a lot on the type of company you’re applying to. I’ve found that many Nigerian companies aren’t really open to negotiation. They’ll just put the salary there; try to ask for something higher, and they’ll be like, “Is this one serious?”

    So, know when to try to ask for more. If you really want the job and don’t want to risk it, just accept their offer. If they ask you for your expected salary during the interview, give a range, but emphasise that you’re open to hearing what they have in mind. If they’re trying to poach you, feel free to go crazy. The fact that they reached out to you already means they want to hire you, so they’ll be more open to negotiating.

    “TBH, it’s a gamble”

    — Joe*, 33, Graphic designer

    There’s no one size fits all approach to it. TBH, it’s a gamble, but you can also make an informed one by comparing what you earn to what others earn.

    One thing I try to do is double my current income and use that as a template for the “What’s your expected salary?” question. It’s either they get back to me or they don’t. Someone offered me a salary once, and I reached back to appreciate their offer but explained why my skills, experience and the value I would bring to them meant I needed a 30% increase on what they initially offered. They accepted. You’ll never know if you’ll be lucky unless you try.


    ALSO READ: How to Kill It on Your First Day at a New Job


    “Let them know what you’re worth”

    — Amy, 35, Marketing manager

    I learnt something from a career coach: have a brag sheet of your accomplishments ready so you can defend whatever amount you’re requesting as remuneration at the interview. Let them know what you’re worth.

    If you want to ask for ₦3m for instance, your previous accomplishments should tell them, “Yes, this person is worth it. If they could do so and so at this place, they should be able to do more here”.

    “Be open to negotiating”

    — Ore, 27, Financial analyst

    Some companies won’t even ask how much you want to earn, they’ll just put an amount in their offer letter. If you’re okay with it, fine. But I always tell my friends to be more open to negotiating. Try to ask for more. It can be something as simple as asking for a one-time 20% increase to cover your logistics needs if you’re moving locations for the job, for instance. Of course, it also depends on the company, but there’s no harm in trying.

    “It’s not just about the salary”

    — Leah*, 37, Brand manager

    You can also negotiate better benefits or leave days. It’s not just about the salary. If you’re applying for an executive-level position, for instance, your offer letter may include the allowances you’ll get. So, if they’re offering you a 10% transportation allowance, you can negotiate for a higher percentage, or if they’re offering 15 leave days, you can negotiate for 20. Remuneration isn’t just about the salary; it’s the entire package.

    “Try… and pray”

    — Jojo, 30, Content marketer

    I try to always be prepared for the salary question, and I never sell myself short. I’ve called amounts that even in my mind, I was like, “Girl, you like money o”. But no recruiter has laughed at me. They only either try to negotiate or tell me what their budget is. Also, pray o. Prayer works for me, and if it’s your thing, there’s no harm in trying it before any interview or salary negotiation.


    *Some names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.


    NEXT READ: What Does a Career in Data Science Involve? Here’s the Tea

  • QUIZ: What Will You Spend Your January Salary On?

    Even after waiting so long for January salary, we all know it won’t last. Take this quiz and we’ll tell you what will finish your money.

  • This Is How You Should Treat Your January Salary

    January salary is scared for its life right now, and it should be. After making us wait for so long, it should know we have a lot in store for it. Because why did it take the whole year to arrive? Now that it’s here, this is how you should treat it.

    First of all, shed tears of joy

    Do you know how long this month was? You could’ve completed a Master’s degree program in January alone. Give thanks that your wait is finally over.

    Have one last look at the complete money in your account

    Nothing is sweeter than seeing a round figure in your account on salary day, even though you know it won’t last 24 hours.

    Think of all the things you suffered in January

    Think back to the times when you were struggling in the ghetto of sapa, before your salary showed up as salvation.

    Prepare to start tearing it into pieces

    Enough of the fantasies. It’s time to spend money like a bandit. Your time has finally come after waiting for so long.

    Buy food

    You can’t do this on an empty stomach. You need to spend some of the salary on food first. Eat well before you fully settle into the cash that just came your way.

    Make a budget

    If you don’t want to spend like a bandit, make a budget of the things you want. You’ll probably not follow it, but at least, don’t plan to fail from the beginning nau.

    Step outside

    You’ve been an introvert all month because you don’t have money. It’s time for your true personality to show itself once again.

    Start begging your last cash not to leave you

    After you’ve enjoyed yourself and realise it’s only the 10th of February, you need to start begging the last ₦10k in your account not to leave you.

    Wait for February salary

    Ultimately, you know it’ll leave. So just take your mind off it and start preparing for February salary.


    NEXT READ: 13 Things Nigerians Who Are Always Broke In January Will Get


  • You Deserve a 13th Month Salary, and Here’s How to Get It

    If detty December doesn’t finish your money, transportation and billing will. So instead of deceiving yourself that your December salary will last till January, convince your employer to pay you a 13th month salary with these tips.

    Get your boss a Christmas present

    Some might call it a bribe, but In Nigeria, nothing goes for nothing. If you want that 13th-month salary, you should get your boss a customised pillow with all the Slack shoutouts you’ve gotten, a framed photograph of both of you or a mug that says “I serve a living boss”.  

    Sleep with HR

    You have to put them in 13 different positions because 13th month. When you’re done with them, they’ll cry, thank you and ask how they can repay you. This is your cue.

    Drag them online 

    Pay an influencer to start a thread about how employers that don’t pay 13th month salaries are toxic. Then you can beg your friends to help you retweet to push the conversation while you focus on tagging them with your different burner accounts. It might take longer, but the result will be worth it.

    Go Gen Z on them

    If you lack boldness, convince your gen z coworker to bring it up during your meetings. These ones’ heads usually touch. . Your boss will have no choice but to pay up after their long list of givings.

    Don’t go on break

    The only way to get ahead in your career is through eye service, and you know this. So while your mates are going on holiday, stay back to work. Even if they don’t pay others, they’ll pay you.

    Save your December salary 

    It’s pretty obvious. Just stay inside your house this holiday period to avoid billing. So when people are complaining about not having money in January, you’ll be balling with the money you kept aside. 13th month salary no pass like this.

    Just use jazz

    If you’ve tried all these tips and your boss still doesn’t budge, it means it’s time to take it a step further. Assemble the powers that be. They’ll not just give you a 13th month salary, they’ll give you the whole company.

    Take on a second job in December 

    Your office is closed for the year, and you want to spend the two weeks sleeping and being lazy? SMH, you don’t deserve the salary then. My friend, wake up and collect your money.

    Bill your work husband/wife 

    What use is a work spouse if they can’t meet your financial needs? After all the things you’ve done for them, the least they can do is divide their salary into two and give you one part. Call it a Christmas gift. 

    YOUR NEXT READ: Use These Tips to Bill Your Work Wife for Christmas

  • QUIZ: If You Score 9/15 on This Quiz, You Deserve 13th Month Salary

    Let’s see how much of a hardworking employee you’ve been this year.

    Choose all that apply to you:

  • Who Are the Biggest Onigbese Governors in Nigeria?

    Every worker deserves their fair wages — until they meet a Nigerian governor. 

    Governors are notorious for owing workers and pensioners for as long as they can get away with it. The situation has improved over the years, but it’s still common to see images like this:

    Which Nigerian governors owe the most?

    A recent survey by civic organisation, BudgIT, showed that at least 15 state governors owed civil service workers at least one month’s salary as of July 2022. Eight of them owed more than one category of workers surveyed for the study. 

    These governors didn’t spare even pensioners who should be kicking back and enjoying the fruits of their life-long labour after retirement.

    Which Nigerian governors owe the most?

    Here are the faces of the biggest offenders, according to BudgIT:

    Okezie Ikpeazu — Abia

    Which Nigerian governors owe the most?

    Abia State governor, Okezie Ikpeazu, has failed to pay pensioners and state tertiary institution workers for more than 30 months. 

    The state’s primary healthcare workers (over 12 months) and secondary healthcare workers (over 10 months) are also being owed. 

    And because he (probably) didn’t want anyone feeling left out, Ikpeazu also owes primary school teachers (six months), local government workers (six months), secondary school teachers (five months) and local government workers (five months).

    Ben Ayade — Cross River

    Governor Ayade owes primary school teachers, secondary school teachers and secretariat workers in Cross River State two months’ salary each.

    Dave Umahi — Ebonyi

    Which Nigerian governors owe the most?

    Pensioners are also casualties in Ebonyi State where Governor Umahi hasn’t paid them in six months. He also hasn’t paid three months’ worth of salaries to secretariat workers.

    Godwin Obaseki — Edo

    Edo State governor, Godwin Obaseki, should protect his shirt collar anywhere he sees local government and primary healthcare workers whom he owes salaries for more than six months.

    Rotimi Akeredolu — Ondo

    Which Nigerian governors owe the most?

    Rotimi Akeredolu is another governor owing so many people, it almost feels deliberate. He owes primary school teachers and primary healthcare workers five months each and owes four months to secondary school teachers, local government workers, secretariat workers and state secondary healthcare workers. 

    State tertiary institution workers and pensioners are also waiting on him to pay more than six months’ worth of salaries.

    Abdullahi Sule — Nasarawa

    Abdullahi Sule owes secretariat workers four months’ worth of salaries and owes six months each to secondary school workers and local government workers.

    Simon Lalong — Plateau

    Which Nigerian governors owe the most?

    Governor Lalong is owing everyone except pensioners. He owes primary school teachers (four months), secondary school teachers (three months), local government workers (six months), secretariat workers (three months), primary healthcare workers (three months) secondary healthcare workers (three months) and state tertiary institution workers (three months).

    Darius Ishaku — Taraba

    Which Nigerian governors owe the most?

    Governor Ishaku’s owing local government workers (six months), primary school teachers (four months) and secretariat workers (four months).

    Dishonourable mentions

    The BudgIT report also showed that governors in Adamawa (Ahmadu Fintiri), Benue (Samuel Ortom), Borno (Babagana Zulum), Delta (Ifeanyi Okowa), Ekiti (Kayode Fayemi), Kogi (Yahaya Bello) and Imo (Hope Uzodinma) owe at least one category of workers or pensioners.

    Why are Nigerian governors chronic debtors?

    Paying salaries in Nigeria is such a big deal that it’s used as a campaign promise. It’s like water wanting to be praised for being wet. And even though the bar is deep down in the mud, some Nigerian governors like those on this list still fail to clear it.

    Low revenue generation is one of the biggest reasons for this culture of not paying salaries. And when you stack on rising debt and the government’s mismanagement of resources, you have the recipe for what’s happening in the culprit states.

    A total of 1,042 respondents contributed to the data published by BudgIT. And the public reception has shown that there are probably more states also owing workers not captured by the result.

    The obvious repercussion of having an unpaid workforce is an unhappy workforce whose productivity will likely be impacted. State governors simply have to do better. Nigeria is already hard enough for workers not to get their fair wages.

    ALSO READ: The Dramatic Impeachment Stories of Nigerian Governors

  • What Nigeria Can Learn from Kenya About Cutting Politicians’ Salaries

    For a group of people who aren’t doing their jobs well, Nigerian lawmakers earn a lot. In fact, they’re some of the highest-paid lawmakers anywhere in the world.

    And they earn a lot for debating things like making naira coins great again, how much shinier toilets can become, and how to recreate a military-era policy

    The reward system for Nigerian lawmakers has been the subject of controversy for many years. Even the actual figures of how much they earn are controversial, especially with respect to the allowances they receive separately from their salaries. 

    As Nigeria’s financial position continues to see shege, the pressure to review the reward system for lawmakers and other officials grows more intense. And a recent development several thousand kilometres away in Kenya may be the best blueprint for Nigeria to follow.

    What’s happening in Kenya?

    Kenya’s Salaries and Remuneration Commission (SRC) announced a review of the remuneration package of public officers in a notice issued on July 28th, 2022. The commission removed car grants for state officers and plenary sitting allowances for 416 members of parliament. The cut allows the Kenyan government to save at least Ksh382.2m that can be channelled elsewhere.

    The general review still leaves the parliamentary officials earning more than before in gross salary, but the SRC rejected a proposal to increase their pay to as high as Ksh1.2 million per month. The review clearly outlined the pay package for political office holders including the president, ministers, governors and others. 

    Why can’t Nigeria do a review?

    Nigeria’s version of Kenya’s SRC is the Revenue Mobilisation Allocation and Fiscal Commission (RMAFC). Among other things, this commission determines the remuneration package of political, public and judicial office holders in Nigeria. 

    The RMAFC is made up of a chairperson and 37 other members of “unquestionable integrity” picked from each state and the Federal Capital Territory (FCT).

    Elias Mbam served as the chairman of the RMAFC between 2010 and July 2022 when he resigned to run for governor in Ebonyi State. He complained many times about how difficult it was for Nigeria to review the remuneration package of public officers. 

    In fact, the last time Nigeria reviewed the package was in 2007, a year when inflation was still in single-digits.

    The good old days

    In 2009, the late President Umaru Musa Yar’Adua asked the RMAFC to do a downward review of salaries and allowances of public officers due to Nigeria’s dwindling revenue. In the RMAFC’s proposal, the commission cancelled the 300% severance gratuity allowances for presidents (₦10.5 million) and vice presidents (₦9.1 million) and reduced their hardship allowance of ₦1.8 million and ₦1.5 million, respectively, by 20%. 

    This is how much a Nigerian president earns

    The proposal also reduced the number of cars allocated to the senate president and the speaker of the House of Representatives, and reduced constituency allowances to federal lawmakers by half. The allowances for entertainment, personal assistants and severance gratuity for local government officials also ended up on the chopping block. 

    The RMAFC was cutting everything on sight

    But the National Assembly never passed the draft bill of the proposal and President Yar’Adua was too distracted by illness to see it through before his death in 2010.

    Another attempt to review the remuneration package failed in 2015 under the watch of the outgoing administration of Goodluck Jonathan. The same proposal failed to gain traction with his successor, Muhammadu Buhari, and never even made it to the National Assembly to be ignored a second time.

    This is how much a Nigerian senator earns


    ALSO READ: The 2023 Presidential Campaign Promises We Already Find Laughable


    What can Nigeria do differently?

    It’s clear that Nigeria’s biggest problem with reviewing the remuneration package for political officers is that those affected are also in charge of approving any proposals. 

    The chairman of the RMAFC is appointed by the president and confirmed by the National Assembly. And for a review proposal to pass, it must go through those same channels. It’s no surprise Nigeria cannot get a review done.

    Mbam said in 2019, “Perhaps, the most challenging issue the RMAFC faces is the abuse by stakeholders at both the national, state and local government levels in the implementation of the approved remuneration package for political, public and judicial office holders.”

    Kenya’s SRC isn’t burdened by such problems, as it has an automatic timeline of four years to review the package for Kenyan politicians; this is usually set just before general elections for a new government. 

    Nigeria needs a process that’s just as transparent and independent for any progress to be made here. The country needs a fiscally leaner government based on its revenue weakness, and what better place to start cutting the fat than from the top?

    ALSO READ: After 35 Years of Service, All I Have Is a Monthly Pension of ₦80k

  • The 6 Stages of Receiving Your Salary Late

    Salary week is upon us and you’re probably checking your phone every minute, waiting for the credit alert to drop. But the most heartbreaking thing is when your employer serves you breakfast by not paying on the due date. If you’ve been there before, you can probably relate to these feelings.

    You think it’s just a mistake

    You convince yourself that it’s your bank playing mind games with you, like they always do. Because who hasn’t received money in their account only to see the alert three market days later? So you keep refreshing your bank app, hoping the balance changes.

    You start asking other people questions

    You have finally admitted to yourself that this is more than meets the eye. Your bank simply cannot be at fault anymore. So you start making small talk with your co-workers, ending with, “You don see anything?” only to get your hopes dashed once again when they too haven’t received it.

    You have flashbacks to when you had money

    You finally realise what’s going on and admit it to yourself — money is not coming today. All of a sudden, you feel a sharp pain in your chest remembering all the money you spent just last week, thinking you were getting something huge very soon.

    RELATED: If Your June Salary Has Finished This One Is For You

    You start managing money aggressively

    This is when the Marty Byrde in you jumps out. You start calculating all the things you can achieve with your last ₦1k. If you’ve already spent it, then this is when you start borrowing money to stay alive. 

    You start making false promises

    You promise yourself you’ll get better at managing your money. You tell God all you need is one last chance. But deep down, you know you’re lying.

    Salary finally drops and you forget everything you went through

    You finally get that alert and you’re bougie again. All of a sudden, those promises you made to heaven and earth are forgotten…until this time next month.

    ALSO READ: 13 Things That Happen When You’re Desperately Waiting For Payday

  • How to Ask Your Boss to Reduce Your Salary

    The year is 2022. Out of all the problems in the world, the major one you have is that your salary is way too much, and you need it reduced. Well, let’s get into how you can solve your problem. 

    Why did you even click this? 

    What is going on in your household that made you want this? 

    HR, is that you? 

    You thought we’d give you something to send to your coworkers as “light reading”, abi? Perish that thought.

    Are you normal?

    No, seriously. Is everything okay at home? 

    RELATED: 10 Trusted Ways to Ensure Your Salary Lasts Till Next Month

    In this economy?

    Dollar is ₦610 on the black market, and you want a reduced salary? 

    Why are you still reading? Go and touch grass

    Switch off your device, and go sit in the sun so it can cook your brain. 

    Tell your village people you refuse to be gotten 

    Put your hand on your head and say, “It will not be my portion”.

    Are you seriously looking for a reason? 

    Your case is no longer physical. It’s spiritual. 

    RELATED: 8 Annoying Things About Salary Week

    Love yourself, please 

    Even if you don’t love yourself, love the people who depend on your salary. 

    WHY ARE YOU STILL SCROLLING? 

    What are you expecting us to tell you? You dey fear salary increase? Do good things scare you? 

    Please delete this from your search history

    People don’t need to know you tried to look for this. This is something that should give you shame. 

    RELATED: Interview With Competitive Salary


    READ ALSO: Sunken Ships: My Cousin Grew Up

  • 8 Actions to Take When They Refuse to Increase Your Salary

    Times are hard and things are expensive. That’s why you should ask your boss for a raise. If they then refuse to give you, here are swift actions to take:

    1) Steal their printers

    Man must chop one way or the other. If your coworkers need to print anything, they should use the closest cyber cafe to them. Let them do their part in supporting black businesses.

    2) Carry their AirConditioner

    As they’ve decided to stop your soft life, you should stop their own. Only offices that increase salary should have AC.

    3) Steal their generator

    Since they don’t want you to be able to afford fuel, they too shouldn’t have light. You can decide to use the generator for yourself or you can even sell it.

    RELATED: Fuel Scarcity + National Grid Collapses–How Are Nigerians Coping

    4) Log everyone out of the office account

    While they’re trying to get everyone back online, nobody is working. That way, the hours you work will be balanced out by what they’ve decided to keep paying you.

    5) Use your CEO’s signature to take out a loan

    That money, you will collect it one way or the other. The loan is a long journey, but you’ve sha gotten your money.

    6) Sell the office building

    Since we’ve all decided to work remotely, your office won’t need their building anymore. Sell the building and add the money to your salary.

    RELATED: 7 People You’d Meet in Every Nigerian Office

    7) Buy the company

    Don’t they know that you were just asking for the salary increase to test them? You don’t need their salary increase. Now you have to buy the company to prove that you’re better than them. Maybe after you buy it, you can give yourself the salary increase.

    8) Reduce the CEO’s salary

    Since they want you to continue living on peanuts, then you should bring them down to that level as well. Let them see how their own soup tastes.

    [donation]

  • 10 Trusted Ways to Ensure Your Salary Lasts Till Next Month

    It’s officially salary week. After waiting for January to hurry its ass up, we can finally see the finish line and we’re sure most of you have gotten the long-awaited credit alert. While you may be tempted to blow all this money on or before February 14, we’d like to remind you that sapa is still real and it’s always on the prowl . To avoid stories that touch, we listed a couple of preventive measures you can take to safeguard your salary until next month. 

    [newsletter]

    1. Withdraw everything and bury it in the ground 

    Out of sight, out of mind. The reason you keep spending your money like your father is Otedola is because you can see it in your account every day. If you want your money to last till next month, withdraw everything from your account, pick a random plot of land and bury it there. Make sure you don’t mark the spot. Every time you feel like going back, remember you have to dig up the whole plot of land before you find it. But don’t call us if someone else finds your money sha; all monies buried at owner’s risk. 

    2. Take it to Shiloh so they can double it

    Remember when we told you to take your account number to Shiloh? Well, the eagle has landed. But we’ll need you to go back with the money so they can run you another miracle. Hold on to the hem of your pastor’s garment and don’t let go until they at least 2x your salary. If you have coconut head, they might quadruple it. Amen? 

    3. Give your mother to keep it for you

    If you think about it, she’s been saving money for you since you were a child. Have you ever seen the money? No. But every time someone gave you money growing up, she collected it and told you she’s “keeping” it for you. Who knows, maybe when she finally gives you all that money, you can buy a house in Banana Island. 

    4. Delete all your social media apps and run 

    If you’re smart, this should be a no-brainer. One of the reasons your salary doesn’t last is because you’re always buying unnecessary shit from Instagram vendors and going to the fancy restaurants you see on people’s stories. To dodge the trap of incoming poverty, delete all the social media apps on your phone. The only social media app you should have is LinkedIn, plus calendar, clock and calculator to keep track of all your expenses. 

    5. Break up with your partner and avoid relationships

    You want to save money but you’re out here doing love and spending money on dates? You must be a joker. In fact, look for a red marker and start painting your face like a clown. One of the easiest ways to save your money is by avoiding relationships like coronavirus 3.0. If anyone tells you, “Hi,” tell them to go and greet their daddy because you’re not doing. Stay focused. 

    6. Buy a bag of garri and drink it every day for 30 days

    Someone in the Bible fasted for 40 days and 40 nights; surely you can survive on soaking garri for only four weeks. Think of the greater good here: suffering builds character. 

    7. Find the person that multiplied his salary 23x 

    We still feel like this story has long legs. But then again, maybe we’re just jealous because we can’t even manage to double our salaries. If you can find him and learn from him, then good for you. If his method works, dear, please don’t be selfish, send us a DM so we can jot one or two fings down.

    8. Avoid broke people 

    Please and please, shey you know that broke people can’t help each other? How do we know you’re broke? My dear, you’re reading this post. If any of your broke friends asks you to come out, reject their offer with vim because you’ll end up spending money you don’t have. To make sure you don’t go broke before next month, we’ll advise that you only roll with the rich. But don’t be doing anyhow o, be a classy parasite. 

    9. Tell your family members you’re dead 

    It’s crazy how certain family members can smell your salary all the way from the village. It’s almost like they’re in the same WhatsApp group with your boss. The money lands like this and the next thing, one uncle that bathed you when you were three years old is calling you to help a cousin you didn’t even know existed. Best solution? Fake your death. Make a Facebook post and WhatsApp broadcast that you’ve passed away. They don’t have Instagram or Twitter, so you’ll be fine. 

    10. Sit at home 

    People who sit at home save more. It’s simple mathematics. If you stay home and eat the garri we asked you to buy, you’ll be fighting with Dangote over who’s richer in like two years. We know what we’re saying. 

  • Why Don’t Nigerians Talk About Their Personal Income? — 7 Nigerians Tell Zikoko
    Talk About Income

    Why is personal income such a taboo topic to Nigerians? Is it due to classism or feelings of inadequacy? Or have we been conditioned to think talking about money is boastful or tacky?

    We asked seven Nigerians why they don’t talk about money, and here’s what they said:

    Precious, 27

    Shame, dear. How do you tell your friends and classmates who expect big things from you that you’re earning ₦30k a month? Thankfully sha, Jesus died and took my shame away. Now, I can freely talk about it while searching for a better job.

    Victor*, 28

    People suddenly turn to personal accountants, calculating your salary and how much you should be able to give them. One time I was talking with a classmate about needing to get to sabo that evening and change money. He asked, “You get paid in dollars?” I said yes. He asked, “How much?” and without thinking, I mentioned it. After five minutes of whyning me, we switched topics, and I thought that was the end of it. 

    He later called to ask if I could help him with ₦30k. I explained why I couldn’t give him. I had been robbed and was trying to replace my gadgets and pay outstanding bills. Then the dude went, “If you give me 30k, you will have so and so left. You can buy a laptop for this amount, use this to do this and that and still have so and so left. I just hung up.

    Oluchi*, 24

    Once people realise how much they earn, it affects how we relate. On the one hand, I feel entitled to their wealth if I know they earn a lot. I have tech bro friends who I occasionally try to bill because they make a lot of money — sometimes I have to check myself from going overboard. On the other hand, for people who don’t earn much, I find myself excusing them from responsibility or overcompensating by being overly pitiful. In my experience, no decent person likes to be pitied as it makes them feel small. 

    Arit*, 35

    Many people believe in jazz. I don’t know that I do, but I’m nervous about discussing my salary because you never know who is who. Just to be on the same side, I don’t talk about my salary. Village people are active o and me I don’t want to jinx anything. It’s also a similar reason why people don’t talk about their japa plans until they have settled in the abroad.

    Muyiwa*, 20

    I’m a software engineer employed at an abroad company, and I’m yet to graduate from university. Initially, I didn’t have problems disclosing my salary. However, I noticed that relatives thought it was too much money for a “small boy”. According to them — especially the boomers — I had no responsibilities. Someone even wanted my mother to be keeping money for me as if I’m ten years old. At some point, I stopped spending my own money because I didn’t want to hurt other people’s feelings. Funny enough, I don’t think it’s a lot, and I hope to 3X my salary this year.

    Femi, 23

    While I’m not particularly secretive about my earnings, I don’t go into the details. Instead of disclosing figures, I keep my income vague because people do usually ment. I’d hate to wake up to texts from people precisely breaking down my earnings and trying to show me how my giving them a part of it won’t bother my life. 

    Farida*, 32

    I don’t want people to rate my lifestyle based on how they think I spend. Somebody can start judging you for things you buy or don’t buy because they think you’re living above your means. Also, sometimes it’s to keep families from inviting unnecessary wahala. So I’d rather remain silent.

    But many people get underpaid because they don’t discuss how much they earn. It’s crazy.

  • 10 Things Nigerian Women Should Do On Salary Payday

    Long before payday, women already have a list of non-debatable things they spend their salary on and before you know it, salary don finish. How about we choose things to do for ourselves on payday to maximize enjoyment? Here’s a list of payday ideas for Nigerian women.

    happy black woman

    1. Pay your gbese 

    Don’t even waste time with that one. Pay up so you can breathe and do other things. 

    2. Budget

    It sounds tedious, but budgeting on payday will save you a lot of headaches. You don’t even have to  follow the budget; you can always also draft the budget and go ahead to live your life on the edge. Nobody go beat you. 

    3. Food

    Payday is a great time to buy yourself your favourite meal or try that new restaurant you have been eyeing. Just don’t forget that you still have a whole month ahead. 

    4. Mani-pedi date 

    You could also throw hair into the mix and treat yourself to a mini-makeover. Sapa might hit you in a week or two, but at least it will meet you looking pretty. Never to be caught unfresh yunno.

    5. Buying something off your cart 

    You know how you have been adding things to your Shein cart with no hopes of clearing it in sight. Payday is a great time to offload some of those things. Just make sure you are getting enough value for your money — delivery fee can be a bitch. 


    6. Weekend getaway 

    Even if you are only going to the hotel down the street so someone can feed you and clean up after you for two days, it’s still a nice thing to do for yourself after working so hard all month. 

    7. Stay indoors and disconnect from the world

    You can also stay indoors, switch off your phone and spend time connecting with yourself. It’s also the best time to order food in and binge on your favourite show. 

    8. See a movie 

    Watching Netflix at home and going to see a movie at the cinema are very different vibes. You can either go alone or with your friends.

    9. Gift your friends

    It doesn’t have to be anything big. You can just pay for their cab to work and back for a day or buy them lunch. Their joy is sure to light up your day. You can do this for friends or lovers or even family members. 

    10. Don’t forget your PiggyVest

    Since men always accuse women of having money in their PiggyVest, you might as well put money there so it won’t look like they are accusing you of what you didn’t do.

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  • 10 Non-Threatening Memes To Send To Your Boss When You Want  A Raise

    Memes are a very effective way to communicate how you feel without using words. There’s no one you’ll send you’ll send a meme to who won’t understand what you are saying, except, of course, they are a millennial or baby boomer. 

    Here are a couple of memes to send to your boss when you need a raise. 

    1. The “why are you doing this to me” meme.

    If your boss sees this meme and doesn’t know you are starving; that boss is wicked. This meme is a cry for your help, but your desperation isn’t jumping out nonetheless. You are begging for that raise, but you aren’t desperate.

    2. The “laughs maliciously” meme.

    Send this meme when they make jokes on Slack or any of the group chats you are both in. Let your boss know you are malicious of their salary and how rich they are and you want the same for yourself.

    3. The “your money is safe with me” meme.

    Only send this meme when you are putting minimal effort into your job, but you want plenty of money regardless of the quality of your work. Encourage your employer to take a chance with you. 

    4. The “I’ve taken this matter to Babalawo” meme.

    This will let them know it’s above you now and whatever happens to them is none of your business. You have done your bit, it’s time for them to do theirs.

    5. The “I’ve taken matters into my hands and I command you to give me a raise” meme.

    Send this to your boss first thing in the morning, make sure it’s the first thing they wake up to. If they don’t have you on their mind all through the day, come to our office to fight with us.

    6. The “My God is going to deal with you” meme.

    This meme has to be sent with a little message, something like “me, praying about a raise” so your employer won’t just open the meme and laugh. Let them know you’ve taken their matter to God. 

    7. This meme is self-explanatory.

    Send them this meme every day for a week and you’ll be sure to get a raise. You are clearly begging your boss because your life depends on it. 

    8. The “I’m not one to be messed with” memes.

    Let that employer know you are the one to be played with and you’ve said what you said about wanting a raise. Of course, they’ll tremble when they see this meme and give you a raise before the day is over.

  • QUIZ: How Much Will Your Salary Increase Next Year?

    Last week, a Twitter user talked about how his salary increased by 23x this year. We’ve told you how to achieve that, now come and find out how much your salary will increase next year.

  • 8 Reasons Why Your Salary Doesn’t Last Longer Than A Week

    If you’re working and getting paid but your salary never lasts longer than a week, there are many reasons why this could be happening. Let’s talk about them. 

    1. You eat all your money.

    Not literally of course (you’re not a goat), but you’ve taken “chop life make life no chop me” to another level. Lagos restaurants know your first, middle and surname because you are a regular at all of them. Keep it up oh. You’ll need the strength from that all that food to help you work for your next salary. 

    2. You are an intentional partner.

    Your hard work is channelled towards taking care of your partner, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. Love cures all and is enough to feed you when you go broke from spending all your salary on gifts.

    3. Your saved items on IG won’t stop appearing to you in your dream.

    This is not entirely your fault. It’s an issue beyond your control. Your shopping carts always find a way into your dreams, forcing you to clear them when you wake up. Trust me, I get it. It happens to the best of us.

    4. You are not earning enough.

    This is your employer’s fault. Your salary isn’t enough and something needs to be done about that. The only solution here is to force your employer to switch their salary with yours. 

    5. Skincare is expensive.

    We need the government to do something about the burgeoning prices of skincare products. Your salary will be gone the second it enters your account if you purchase skincare products every month. 

    6. Nigeria is way too expensive.

    Breathing in and out in Nigeria is enough to finish your salary.

    7. You aren’t a tech bro/sis. 

    Tech people are the only ones earning enough money to survive in this country, and you aren’t one of them. Find a way to fix that soon if you want to stop being such a broke adult.

    8. The walls of your house become scary when salary comes in.

    Something always happens to your house that makes it uncomfortable to live in your house once your salary comes in. You’d rather be outside spending money than being inside saving. Well done.

  • The #NairaLife Of A Talent Specialist Moonlighting As A Tech Babe

    Every week, Zikoko seeks to understand how people move the Naira in and out of their lives. Some stories will be struggle-ish, others will be bougie. All the time, it’ll be revealing.

    There are some things to note about the 25-year-old in this #NairaLife: she’s the breadwinner and was in about ₦2m debt. Three months ago she got a big break and her life changed — possibly forever. 

    What’s your oldest memory of money?

    I was in primary school and living with my grandparents because my mum was in university. My parents would visit every two weeks and they’d give me between ₦300 and ₦500. This was in the early 2000s, so it meant a lot to me. 

    What could the money do for you?

    I could ball a lot in school. I loved to spend the money on myself and my friends. I’m not sure if I was trying to show off or if I just liked to buy things for people. However, gifting got a little tiring when I was about 10 because books started to interest me. From that time, I started to spend more on books. 

    By 2005, I was in JSS 1 and my mum was done with the university so I returned to my parents’. 

    Ah,  sweet. 

    Things were good. We weren’t rich-rich, but we were very comfortable. My dad sold cars and business wasn’t bad. He travelled to Germany a lot and even took me on some of the trips. 

    My mum was a stay at home mum. It didn’t matter because what my father made was enough for the family. It’s funny because at the time I didn’t even think we were comfortable, even though everyone thought we were. 

    Why didn’t you think you were comfortable?

    I was very sheltered. I suspect that I may have taken everything — including the trips — for granted because my parents didn’t have conversations about money with me. But in 2008, I realised how comfortable we were. 

    What happened?

    My dad died. 

    I’m sorry about that.

    Thank you. It was challenging because my parents had four kids after me. Now, my mum had to worry about all five of us and she didn’t have a job. 

    Oof. 

    The good thing was that we have good extended family members on both sides. After we buried my dad, one of my aunts living in Ghana spoke with my mum and offered her two options: she could allow me to live with them in Ghana until after I finished university or I could remain in Nigeria and they would sponsor my education until university. 

    When my mum spoke to me about it, I decided to go live with my aunt and her family. I figured that my mum would still have to bear some of the cost of raising me if I stayed in Nigeria but if I lived with my aunt, my mum wouldn’t have to worry about me. 

    That’s how I moved in with my aunt at 14. 

    What happened in Ghana?

    I was in a boarding school and my monthly allowance was GH₵100 until I finished. 

    When I got into university in 2013, my aunt and her husband were going through a tough time financially, so it was a bit of a struggle raising me with their five kids. 

    Regardless, they committed to seeing me through university but my allowance was reduced to about GH₵20 per month. 

    The four years in university were a little tough, but I survived and graduated in May 2017. I was broke as hell though.

    Whew. What happened next?

    I picked up my first job. Although, I should add that I did a couple of odd jobs here and there in uni to raise extra money for myself. 

    I returned to Nigeria in October and registered for NYSC immediately. I was posted to work at a university in Ogun State. I studied Human Resources in school, so I worked in their HR department and my salary was ₦10k. The federal government was also paying me ₦19800, so that brought my monthly earnings to ₦29800. 

    How were you moving money?

    I lived in a 3-bedroom apartment with three other girls, and the total rent was ₦200k. One of my family members was paying my cut of the rent. My housemates and I also split household expenses amongst ourselves. However, I was the closest thing to a breadwinner my family had and I tried to send ₦10k home to my mum and my siblings. I also tried to save ₦5k every month but at the end of my service year, I had only ₦10k in savings. 

    How?

    It was because of my money management skills. I was still an impulsive buyer and dipped a lot into my savings to buy things I didn’t need. Thankfully, I had started applying for jobs months before the end of my service year and got an offer two weeks after NYSC ended. 

    Tell me about it. 

    I got into the graduate trainee program at one of the Big Four consulting firms and my salary was ₦150k. This was 2018. 

    That’s a significant income jump. 

    It was. Moving from ₦29k to ₦150k in the space of a year was huge. I splurged on a lot of things that caught my eye in the first two months. I relaxed after that and started thinking about saving when I wanted an expensive new phone. I realised that I would be broke for months if I splurged on it at once. A better alternative would be to save the money for as long as it is required. I also had four siblings to worry about. I started to save ₦20k per month for the phone and another ₦10k in an emergency fund. About ₦40k went to my family. I lived on what remained. But it was hardly ever enough and I always ended up dipping into my emergency savings. I was pretty much living from paycheck to paycheck. 

    Omo. How long did you spend at the job?

    Close to three years. I left in 2021. 

    How did your salary evolve during your time there?

    I got my first promotion in October 2019 and my salary increased to ₦190k. My standard of living rose with it and I started spending more on some of the things I used to think of as luxuries. I ditched buses for Uber and hopped from one restaurant to another. Also, I increased my monthly support for my family from ₦40k to ₦50k. But there were other sacrifices I had to make for my family. Remember that money I was saving up for a phone in 2018? Towards the end of 2019, I had about ₦180k but my brother needed money because he was leaving for school, so I gave the money to him. I eventually opted for a lower-end phone. 

    You were something close to a breadwinner for your family too. What was it like navigating that?

    For the longest time, I thought it wasn’t fair that I was working but didn’t have much to show for it because I had to think about my family first. But I’d also hate myself if we had to depend on members of our extended family before we could meet the most basic needs. That said, I learned to prioritise myself too and spend as much money on my most pressing needs as soon as I got my salary. The way I saw it, if I left the money in my account, I would end up spending it on something my mum or siblings needed. 

    Fair enough. When did you get the next raise at work?

    October 2020. My salary went up to about ₦250k. However, I was already deep in debt. 

    Oh? Could you talk more about it?

    In 2019, I took a  ₦650k  bank loan because our house rent was due. A few months later, my sister was about to resume university and because I wanted to send her off with something,  I took another ₦200k loan from the bank. Later in 2020, my mum needed help restocking her shop but I didn’t have enough money. As a result, I applied for a ₦500k loan at the bank and got it.

    You were at least ₦1.3m in debt and your salary was ₦250k. How were you paying back?

    First, a chunk of my salary was going into loan repayments and this brought my take-home down to about ₦190k – ₦200k every month. Then I did something I probably shouldn’t have done: I stopped paying them off. Immediately after I got my salary, I cleared all the money in my account and transferred it into another bank account. Not the best move because the interest kept piling up. 

    My quality of life took a hit because I knew the debt was still there. I had also lost interest in my job in June 2020 but I couldn’t quit because I didn’t have a lot of options. But I started learning about frontend development. For some reason, I thought my next money move would be to transition into tech. 

    I was floating through 2020. In November, I went on a work trip and was there for close to a month. When I returned in December, I found out that I had Covid. 

    Damn. That’s rough. 

    It was. But it gave me a much-needed break from work and I dedicated the time I spent in quarantine to my software engineering courses. Nothing much happened until February 2021 when I had Covid again.

    Ah.

    It came back in full force and my body forgot how to work. I was bedridden for more than a month. Unfortunately, my HMO didn’t cover costs for my treatment, so I had to dip into the small savings I had. It wasn’t enough. As a last resort, I took another loan from the bank. ₦200k this time. 

    Whew. 

    It was so crazy. I was sick and still had to worry about money. When I recovered fully in March, I realised that I wasn’t earning enough, and I would probably need to take loans every time I needed money. The only thing on my mind was how to increase my income. 

    Was there a plan?

    First, I needed to quit my job and find a tech role. I had an interest in it already, but my job was standing in the way of me learning the things I needed to make a full transition. I started to apply for HR roles in Nigerian tech companies and got interviews with a few, nothing came out of it. 

    Then I started attending online conferences, hoping to network my way into the ecosystem. In May, I attended a random conference where I met a white lady. We kept in touch after that. During one of our conversations, I mentioned that I was looking for a role in the industry. It turned out that her company — a freelance platform — had an open role and she promised to refer me. 

    I see where this is going. 

    Haha. In June, I got an email from her people. They were looking for a talent specialist and wanted to know if I was still interested. Of course, I was. I wrote a couple of tests and sent them in. One week later, I got another email from them. 

    It was an offer letter. I almost let out a scream when I saw how much they were offering. 

    I’m listening.

    $3k, and that’s just the basic pay. There are also profit and performance bonuses. 

    Wow. That’s something. 

    I knew my life was about to do a full 180. I thought about what this meant for me and my family, and all the things I could now afford to buy. 

    In the same vein,  I feared that they would rescind the offer, so I was scared to resign from where I was working.

    LMAO. That didn’t happen, did it?

    Haha, no. I started the job in July. 

    Congratulations. How did it feel when the first salary landed in your account?

    Funny story. I was at the send forth party my former workplace organised for me when I got my first salary. If I had any doubts about my decision to leave the place, the credit alert erased all of it. I just started grinning at everyone. 

    Haha. 

    One of the first things I did was to get a group of my friends’ gift cards, and each one cost $80. They were always there for me. It felt nice to do something for them for a change. 

    Then I sat down and drew a plan to pay off my loans, which had accumulated to about ₦2m because I had defaulted on payments. I cleared everything in less than three months and am now completely debt-free. 

    Love that for you. So what’s eating your money these days?

    Sweet. What do your savings and investments look like at the moment though?

    Core savings — $750

    Crypto investment — $500

    Stocks — $250

    I’d have put more money aside but we recently moved apartments because of some issues with the old landlord. The new apartment cost ₦1.3m.

    Also, the initial excitement of getting a huge increase in income is phasing out. I’ve bought most of the things I couldn’t get this time last year, so I’m beginning to think about how to be more intentional about how I spend my money. 

    It feels like I’ve just started my financial journey, to be honest. And I’m hoping to have a better relationship with money going forward. 

    Great. How have all of your experiences shaped your perspective about money?

    I’ve realised that spending money makes me happy, and that’s not a bad thing. The only thing on my mind now is to figure out how to consistently make more. The more I can manage to do that, the more I can increase my standards of living. I’m excited about my next level of income and the kind of life it will get me. 

    What do you imagine will get you there?

    I currently work where I can focus on my job and have enough time I could dedicate to my software engineering courses. The plan is to upskill and fully transition into a tech role.  It’s already happening actually.

    I’m listening. 

    I’m currently in talks with the engineering team in the company I work at about the possibility of interning with them. We’re still ironing out the details, but it’s a paid role. It’s a win-win: I get to work on software engineering projects and learn on the job while also earning from it. I’ll start the new role this month. 

    Rooting for you. Is there something you want right now but can’t afford though? 

    Travelling to Dubai and the Maldives are high up on my list. But I don’t have the money for that now. If I save a few months, I might be able to do that, so fingers crossed. 

    Fingers crossed. What was the last thing you bought that improved the quality of your life?

    My MacBook. It cost about ₦570k, but my company refunded the money. It was stressful to code on my old Dell laptop, but the new Mac has made it more fun. 

    What part of your finances do you think you could be better at?

    Impulsive buying decisions. I bought a new phone in September, which isn’t a bad thing. But I didn’t plan for it. I saw the phone online a day after I got my salary and I placed an order for it even though it cost $500. 

    I also need to think more about investing. My mood used to be “What’s the point? What if I die soon?” Now it’s “ What if I live long and end up being broke because I didn’t plan well when I was younger?”

    That said, I think the mindset shift is a reflection of my current earnings. I’m earning a lot more money now and have enough left to play with after settling my basic expenses. 

    I hear you there. On a scale of 1-10, financial happiness?

    7. I’m in a good place right now and I know that I will be in a position to earn more soon. It’s amazing how much one job can change your life.


  • 10 Things Nigerian Women Spend Their Salary On

    Salary week is rugged — alert enters, but before you blink, the money has disappeared. I did some research *wink* and came up with a list of things Nigerian women spend their salaries on. 

    1. Food

    This is the first thing. 70% of our salary goes to food. Home cooked meals o, take out o, fancy restaurants o, na here them dey see us. 

    woman eating food

    2. Rich aunty clothes

    Nigerian women and flowy dresses? Inseparable. How else can they know that we are unmarried liberated women who don’t need men to validate us? Inject it! 

    aunties dancing

    3. Ashawo clothes 

    Nigerian babes are versatile queens who can switch it up anytime. Why? Refer to number 2. Besides, that N29,999 Atinuke Shift Dress will not pay for itself, you know 🌚

    dancing aunty meme

    4. Side dudes

    I am not saying Nigerian women cheat. I am just saying that sometimes there are men who need our help with certain things. Especially money. You never know. This can be filed under charity, sha.

    feeding a man

    5. Piggyvest

    Everybody knows Nigerian women are huge savers. They made that app for us. It doesn’t matter if we will withdraw it before month end, what matters is that we saved. Saving our money and saving our lives. A versatile queen, purr.

    maraji meme

    6. Tiny bags 

    Those tiny bags are the best thing since sliced bread. They are so small yet they carry so much. We need the tiny bags to store our patience.  

    girl meme

    7. Acrylics 

    Nigerian girls love their acrylics. Besides, how can we aim for something that is beyond our reach if we don’t have good nails to drag it in?

    nails meme

    8. Books

    Yes, we read. 

    9. Skincare

    Skincare is so expensive, gosh. Why can’t we be like men who use the same towel on their bum on their face and still have good skin? Skincare is a major money gulper. 

    me, god, beauty, meme

    10. Enjoyment 

    Solo date, date with our fellow babes. God put us on this earth to enjoy ourselves to the fullest. In the wise words of Tiwa Savage, ‘we no come this life to suffer.’

    Tiwa Savage meme

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  • 8 Annoying Things About Salary Week

    Salary week is probably the most depressing week as a salary earner. The anticipation, the money that has already been spent in your head, and the bills that become more obvious don’t do much to help either. Flesh and blood did not reveal the information we are about to share below.

    1. Ads become more frequent

    It’s almost like the internet knows that money is about to enter your bank account. You start getting more ads, and for once you dare to consider getting those things you’ve been putting off, all the best sha.

    2. Things start finishing

    For some reason, things start finishing a lot during salary week. All of a sudden; your Wi-Fi finishes, foodstuff follows closely behind, DSTV, and finally, if you are unfortunate, your gas will follow suit.

    3. Things start spoiling

    It’s always during salary week that your car will know that it’s tired of Nigerian roads. That laptop that you have been managing will suddenly give up the ghost too, salary week has bad vibes for real.

    Kuku kill me

    4. The money hasn’t arrived but it has finished 

    You don’t even need to earn a salary for this to happen to you. Money just doesn’t like to stay in one place, If it’s not being spent, it’s not happy.

    Especially banks for collecting that 50 naira.

    5. Family members rise from their hiding place

    All of a sudden your mum needs a new washing machine, or your uncle wants to start a new business and your younger sibling will call to cry about how broke they are. Wahala for who get family sha.

    You to your family members when they call.

    6. The sudden quietness 

    You’d never be able to put your finger on it but for that entire week before your salary comes in, there’s a quietness around, and it won’t be the peaceful type. Just deep sighing and casual anxiety. Again with the bad vibes.

    7. The heart attack when you are expecting the alert 

    Especially if it’s a little later than normal. It’s so unnecessary because why is your brain telling you that you won’t get something you worked hard for? Everybody should get out abeg.

    8. The depression after you spend the money 

    Post salary depression is a thing, so if you know anyone earning a salary, do the right thing and dash them small money this month. 

  • QUIZ: How Long Will Your Salary Last?

    We know your salary just entered or is entering soon. Take this quiz to find out how long it will last.

  • QUIZ: Plan A Party, And We’ll Guess Your Salary

    Think we can’t guess your salary based on the type of party you plan? Think again.

  • 6 Nigerian Men Talk About Paying Their Girlfriends Allowances

    I’ve often heard of men who gave regular allowances to their girlfriends but had never met one (that I knew of). A friend prompted me to talk to men who “paid salaries” to their partners so I put a call out. I got some pretty interesting responses from six men. Here’s what they said.

    Patrick

    She’s looking for a job so I decided to give her something monthly for her upkeep till she starts working again. It’s about 7% of my income although I couldn’t send her the full amount last month because of some financial commitments I had and she understood. I try not to let it affect the dynamics of our relationship. When I first started giving her, she felt she had to be submissive to me and agree with everything I say. I had to make her understand that I didn’t want that.

    Sucre

    I provide bi-weekly support for my girlfriend. I did it because she’s a student and it’s hard for me to watch her struggle with mundane expenses. I want her to be able to focus on her studies so she can graduate in flying colours. It’s never about the money, it’s about the void it fills for her. I’m comfortable and she should be comfortable too. I’m hoping we’ll be married next year.

    Jack

    I used to give my ex $50 weekly, which was 10% of my income. She’s unable to get a job and I work 3 jobs. We lived together and I paid for the groceries and other expenses as well. I suggested the allowance but she wasn’t comfortable with it. She even beat it down to that amount because she didn’t want to be a burden. 

    I can’t be comfortable knowing I can help and decide not to. I didn’t tell people because I didn’t want them to think she was taking advantage of me like my best friend did when I told her. It’s important to me that my partners have their allowance, so they don’t have to rely on me. Money is always made back. Imagine a situation where she needs money but we’re fighting and can’t ask for money. 

    Seyi

    I started paying my ex an allowance to help her financially and also seem to portray myself as responsible because she thought I was making a lot of money. When I was in love, it made sense. Eventually, she started feeling entitled and we’d get into huge arguments when it wasn’t constant. She also wanted to determine and control how much I spent and saved from my salary. She also started being entitled too.

    Williams

    I’ve been with my woman since 2017 but only started sending her monthly allowance in 2019. I already see her as my wife so it’s no big deal. She takes care of me and goes out of her way to do stuff for me so she definitely deserves it. I give her a minimum of 100k on the same day every month but more if I know there’s something she wants to buy, like a gadget.

    Tosin

    About 60% of my salary went to my ex and her child (she’s a single mother) but I ended up regretting it. We broke up two weeks ago when I found out she was cheating. I caught her when I read her Whatsapp. She was apologetic but later became violent when I refused to take her back because this isn’t the first time I’ve caught her cheating so I know I had to leave her. I’d spoken to her mother and her best friend to talk to her to stop the cheating but that never worked. The problem is, I miss her so much and I’m angry with myself for not being able to survive without her.

    Read: 6 Nigerian Men Share Their Struggles With Fending For Their Families

  • The Zikoko Guide To Asking Your Boss For A Raise

    Are you tired of running this rat race, just to end up earning peanuts? We feel you, and so we’ve created this guide specially for you, so you can ask your boss for a raise.

    Don’t forget us when you’re doing giveaway.

    1. First of all, know that once you start, you can’t back out

    You can’t go halfway through and say you’re not doing again, so if you don’t want to risk eternal unemployment, just know that once you start, you must finish. Ehen.

    2. Now, send a formal email stating that you would like your salary to be increased

    Send it with your full chest. If your salary is ₦100,000 and you want them to increase it to 2 BTC, write it there. Closed mouths don’t get fed. Don’t you know that you’re bringing value to their company?

    3. If that doesn’t work, walk into your oga’s office and try to talk to them

    Try to sort it out man to man.

    4. If they’re still being stubborn, tell them that they have one more chance

    Dear sir, things about to get ugly. You will run me my coins whether you like it or not.

    5. Now, try to seduce them

    As you’re rubbing their chest, just take the opportunity to remind them about that raise they wanted to give you. Apologise for threatening them.

    5. If they don’t budge, threaten to expose them

    Even if you don’t know what to threaten them about, tell them that you’ll leak their secret. Ogas always have dirty secrets.

    7. Challenge them to a duel. If you win, you get a raise

    Haven’t you heard that the violent take it by force?

    8. If all else fails, go and meet baba. He will know what do to

    All you’ll need is one black goat and small palm oil. Salary don set.

    9. When your boss finally gives you the raise

    QUIZ: Which Currency Should You Be Paid In?


  • QUIZ: What Monthly Salary Do You Deserve?

    We already guessed your current salary, but what if that’s not what you actually deserve per month? Well, this quiz will tell.

    Take it now and see for yourself.

    QUIZ: Can We Guess Your Current Salary?

    How much are you actually earning? Take this quiz so we can guess.

    [donation]

  • “Everyone Shouts At You” — An Exhausting Week In The Life Of A Medical House Officer

    “A Week In The Life” is a weekly Zikoko series that explores the working-class struggles of Nigerians. It captures the very spirit of what it means to hustle in Nigeria and puts you in the shoes of the subject for a week


    The subject of today’s “A Week In The Life” is a medical house officer. House officers are freshly graduated doctors completing a one-year mandatory work program [called house job] for more hands-on experience. Our subject tells us about not getting enough sleep, being owed salaries and how the house job experience contributes to doctors leaving the country.  

    MONDAY:

    The thing about being a house officer is that there’s no wake-up or sleep time — you need to be awake whenever the hospital calls you — continuously for one year. You have to find time in between work to get some sleep. 

    On a day like today where I managed to sleep before 12 a.m. and nobody called me through the night —which is rare — I wake up around 6 a.m. I pray for a bit. I check my phone to see if anyone from the hospital has called me, and I sigh in relief when I meet an empty screen. 

    I have my bath at 6:30 a.m., wear my clothes, and I’m off to the ward by 6:55 a.m. It takes me twenty minutes to get to the ward from the medical officers quarters, and I arrive at 7:15 a.m. 

    As the most junior doctor in the unit, I start my day by administering medications to all the patients — sometimes as many as 31 patients to one house officer —  on the ward. In between, I have to clerk, document and ensure that no patient died over the night or is dying. I’m also somehow miraculously expected to do all these tasks before the “official” resumption time of  8 a.m.

    On paper, ward rounds start at 8 a.m., but because nobody cares about the time of a house officer, the senior doctors stroll in whenever they want. Today, they arrive a few minutes to 9 a.m., and I’m put on secretary duty. My job during the round is to write down things like: “Patient seen.” “Carry out xx test.” “Patient doesn’t have money.” 

    After a while, I zone out. 

    It’s afternoon by the time we’re done with the rounds. It sucks, but I’ve been assigned one of the most ghetto tasks — mop ups. My bosses have left me to figure out how to run the tests the patients need. One patient needs an X-ray, another needs blood, and someone needs to see a specialist team.

    My eyes are starting to turn, so I sneak off for lunch. 

    Post-Lunch:  I ran some tests. Argued with a patient relative over buying of medications. Begged another patient’s relative to kindly run some tests. Survived.

    It’s 6 p.m. when I finally catch a break. I can’t rest for long because it’s time to administer evening medications to the patients. It takes me an hour and thirty minutes. I leave the ward dragging my feet in search of dinner and maybe a shower or a nap. I’m barely at my quarters before I get a call from the Accident and Emergency unit— there’s a patient gasping for air. I grudgingly turn back. My long day is about to get even longer. 

    TUESDAY:

    Theatre days are a whole new struggle. You have to go to the blood bank to “fight” for blood the night before major surgeries. Your job is to beg the scientist to keep at least two to three pints of blood for your patient. Then your Senior Registrar [SR] will call you at 4 a.m. to go to the blood bank and ensure that your patient’s blood is ready. 

    This is where it gets tricky. 

    You’ll hear either one of two things — your patient’s blood is ready or they gave out the blood overnight because of scarcity. If you hear the latter, that’s the beginning of your problems because your S.R is just going to shout at you for something that’s not your fault. If you’re lucky and you get blood, you move on to stage two, which is carrying the unit bag. This contains sutures and other equipment needed for surgery. If your village people are with you and you fall under the general surgery unit, your unit bag can be as heavy as a small adult. 

    I sincerely do not recommend.

    The next step is to carry the bag to the theatre and prep your patient around 7 a.m. The surgery may not start until 10 – 11 a.m. and before it starts, it’s the house officers job to run around for whatever the patient needs or may be missing from the bag. During the surgery, your role is to run random errands like fetch heated normal saline or pass equipment. 

    Your role is to also get shouted at. Everybody shouts at you — from the porters to the nurses to your senior colleagues. The house officer is fair game for everyone’s frustrations. 

    After surgery, the house officer’s job consists of waiting in the recovery room to monitor the patient’s vitals every twenty minutes and relaying this information to your oga real-time. After about four hours, and if vitals are stable, you may then be either allowed to leave or ordered to wait until the patient is transferred to the ward. Unending problem everywhere.

    I’ve come to a conclusion: house job is just one long year of similar stressful days repeated over and over again. 

    WEDNESDAY:

    By some miracle, I have a few hours of “free” time today. However, I’m too worried to relax because I fear that the hospital can call me at any time. Ever since I started my house job, I get a mini-heart attack anytime my phone rings. I’m always worried that something has happened and they need me in the ward. 

    If I can get a few hours of uninterrupted sleep, I’ll be fine. Is that too much to ask for?

    THURSDAY:

    The most challenging unit for me is the Accidents and Emergency [A/E] unit. It’s stressful witnessing the lived experiences of patients. Some patients come in terrible states after being mismanaged by quacks for Typhoid and Malaria, which is an illness that doesn’t exist.

    I hate the phrase Typhoid and Malaria.

    By the time the patients get to our hospital, they’re already in critical condition and there’s not so much we can do. To worsen their case, they have to battle mosquitoes, hard examination beds, and no admission bed space at the A/E. Some patients come to the hospital with only a thousand naira. Where do you start helping them from? It sucks because there’s no insurance and all payment is out of pocket. 

    I’m tired of losing patients to things they don’t need to die for. At the end of the day, I’m only one house officer managing a big emergency room. 

    This silent struggle is why I get sad when patients beat up doctors. Half the time, I want to scream, “See how Nigeria is messing both of us up. I too am a victim of the system.” It’s ironic that you’re beating me up when I’ve not been paid in months, and I also haven’t slept well in days.

    Today, I got a message on our house officers group chat: “Violent relative in the ward. The person has broken examination tables and chairs and promised to kill any doctor in sight.” That was my cue to take off my ward coat, gingerly wrap it in my bag and sneak into the call room to hide. For a few minutes, I was not a doctor. I was just a baby girl trying to live long enough to enjoy the salary she slaved for.

    FRIDAY:

    Today I’m thinking of how house job completely erases the possibility of staying back for many doctors. And it’s because of many little rubbish like not having sample bottles to take blood samples, or being owed salary and still being expected to show up. Is it the call rooms with rats as landlords? What of overnight call food which is definitely not fit for human consumption? Nobody cares about the house officer. 

    I’ve left them to their rubbish. In the middle of house job, I wrote IELTS and told God: “I’ll not die in this country.” I also wrote PLAB 1 exams as the first step of japa. 

    In my 500 level, I had the privilege to practice clinical medicine abroad, where it works, and trust me it’s sweet. Forget all the dragging doctors get on Twitter, medicine is a noble profession. Doctors are badass and it’s not beans. I know that if I stay in Nigeria I’ll never get that feeling of fulfilment. Anyone that has seen the miracles of medicine where the system works will always want that feeling. In addition to that nice feeling, the money also correlates. 

    https://twitter.com/AfrahJMohammed/status/1368138467608248320?s=19

    I’m not ashamed to say that my ideal future involves a shit load of money. I have dreams of owning a house in the countryside, running a small yoghurt shop as a hobby and being a plant mom. I’ll also throw in a little travelling and some random rich people’s activities in the mix. 

    If I stay back to practise medicine in Nigeria, I fear that I may never achieve those dreams. 


    Check back every Tuesday by 9 am for more “A Week In The Life ” goodness, and if you would like to be featured or you know anyone who fits the profile, fill this form.

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  • How To Make Your Salary Last Longer

    Omo the country is hard and things are expensive. How can a poor person like me and you survive like this with a salary that vanishes the moment you buy one thing?

    My salary after I buy one plate of food.

    How best can we make our salary last longer? We might have some ideas for you!

    1. Make a list of things you need to get and do

    Groceries, Wi-Fi, money for girlfriend one, two and three…

    2. Disregard that list because Nigeria is a mad place

    I mean, those people in their uniforms *cough, cough* have budgeted your own salary for themselves anyways

    3. Spend the weekends with your parents

    If they keep seeing you so often you won’t get black taxed, they know you’re poor.

    No shame, no case!

    4. Avoid falling in love

    Love is expensive. Dates? Gifts? Time? Ah, please.

    God when you pray to him after spending your tithe in the name of love

    5. Uninstall all your social media apps

    If you’re not on the internet, your data won’t waste and you’ll spend less money. You’re welcome.

    6. When all these fail, enjoy your life

    Na person wey dey alive fit spend salary.

    Try dey enjoy, problem no dey finish.
  • 6 Nigerians Reveal How They Discovered They Were Underpaid At Work

    A huge part of life revolves around money yet we don’t talk about it. Especially when it comes to jobs and salaries. In the hope of demystifying this, I asked a couple of young Nigerians how they found out they were underpaid.

    Here’s what they said:

    Enny/Female/20s.

    I did a job for a client where I charged ₦300,000. Then I found out from talking to a friend that I could have billed ₦500,000 – ₦600,000. See, I wanted to cry because the job stressed me. I truly wanted the job because of the client profile but last last there was NDA so wetin we gain?

    Knowledge is a weird thing. You can be earning ₦10,000 and be okay but when you realise that you can earn ₦50,000 for doing the same thing, you become disturbed.

    Kosi/Female/20s.

    One guy hit me up asking for an illustration. He did all the usual begging and beating down of my price. I accepted because I was like let me do him a favour – I’m kind like that.

    It’s funny because after I started the job, it suddenly hit me that I had agreed for a much lower price than he first agreed. Like, he agreed for a price, and still beat it down. Like say na jazz. Anyway, midway through the job I realized that it was for a big project for some celebrity and he was just the middleman, giving me peanuts from the entire thing. It pained me die, I can’t even lie.

    Igiri/Male/30+

    I was being paid ₦70,000 (65 after tax) to write 5 stories daily. You know, real sweat shop shit. And it felt like a lot because that was my first ever job fresh out of University.

    Then I started meeting people in the same line of work and I found out how much they were earning. It made me weak. Even worse, my boss at the time was a super shitty person. Like, I’m talking shitty-for-no-reason-Nollywood-villain-type-shitty.

    Hameed/Male/20s.

    I always feel underpaid especially as a doctor in Nigeria. Since the first day I saw how much doctors in Canada earn, it made me feel cheated and underappreciated.

    Tayo/Male/20s.

    I don’t know if this is ethical but I was sleeping with the accountant at my office. One day we had a fight and she just dropped it: “It’s because you don’t have sense, that’s why your colleagues earn more than you.”

    I was like what???

    I can’t even lie, that one entered. In fact, I still hate that girl till today. The funniest part is that I still work in that company and no, I haven’t asked for a raise. Not because I don’t want to but because I don’t know how to.

    Ebere/Female/20s.

    I remember complaining at work about how broke I was. One of my male colleagues was now like: “I know right. This ‘insert money almost twice mine’ they are paying is not enough.

    My head first scattered. I was like: “They’re paying you that!?!?!?!?”

    Let me not lie to you, when I found out that I was being underpaid, I actually took a brief moment to breathe and scream into a void.

    Editor’s note: Names have been changed to protect the identities of the subjects.

  • 5 Things You Should Absolutely Not Do When You Get A Raise

    Remember when we talked about the things you should do when you get a raise? Well, we’re back to tell you the things you SHOULD NOT do when you get a raise.

    Don’t buy 5k suya

    I know the raise feels like a lot of money but that doesn’t mean you should splurge the difference on suya. Really tempting though.

    Don’t be like this guy:

    Don’t buy Benz

    Okay, you need to slow down. That the money feels good in your account does not mean you should start buying everything you’ve always wanted.

    Mark Angel drops a funny note as he Acquires New Benz

    Don’t tell people

    If you’re Nigerian, I don’t need to tell you this. It’s when you tell people about your raise that they remember that their rent is due. 

    Don’t go to Quilox

    Seriously, why are you so terrible with financial decisions?

    Don’t post pictures like this on the Gram

    or this:

    You’re just asking to get robbed.

    Read this: 5 Things You Can Do When You Enter A Bus Without Money

  • 5 Things To Do When You Get A Salary Increase

    Every now and then, fortune and your employer smile on you and grace you with a salary increase, either in your current role or as part of a promotion. When you receive an increase, it is easy for you to want to become a golden boy/girl. You might feel the urge to become Sinzu. Perish the thought.

    While a salary increase should improve your life in many ways, your first instinct shouldn’t be to open Asos for shopping spree. Have you seen the exchange rate recently? Here are a couple of things you should do with your increase.

    Count your blessings, name them one by one

    Okay, seriously though. Calculate your new pay and see what this increase means for your life. Figure out the new tax and deductions and plan for additional financial security.

    Clear your debts

    Remember that person you’ve been promising to payback since September 2019? Now is the time to clear that debt. Your new salary should afford you some flexibility to clear out any obligations you may have. Don’t be an onigbese.

    Calculator GIFs | Tenor

    Build an emergency fund

    You don’t need me to tell you how important it is to have an emergency fund. A salary increase is a great way to build up that fund so that you’re not caught slacking when emergencies do show face. To be forewarned….

    Don’t eat tomorrow’s yam today

    Don’t forget your pension fund. You might be thinking “How do I know I’ll be alive in 30 years time  to enjoy my pension?” Okay, on the off-chance you’re alive, do you want to be begging for money when you’re too old to work? Put some money in your pension fund so you can live well in your old age.

    Try dey enjoy, problem no dey finish

    After doing the above, give yourself a treat. You’ve worked really hard for the raise/promotion and you’ve earned it. Order yourself the things you’ve been wanting, maybe a food platter too. Problem no dey finish. Try dey enjoy.

    Now, read this one: 7 Massive Lies You Were Sold About Adulting

  • 10 Wicked Things (Apart From Breathing) That Drain Your Salary Every Month

    If your office has sense, your salary was probably paid last week or should be paid this week. No doubt, you’re all already calculating how much flexing you’re going to do once the salary enters.

    Hustling Dave Chappelle GIF

    Sorry for you, but some expenses are coming to hook your neck before you get a chance to flex your hard-earned coin. To help you understand better, I’ve made this list of things that are coming for your salary.

    1. Tithe

    If you’re one of those Christians who tithe, this you putting aside your 10% for the house of God.

    episode 7 tithe GIF
    1. Savings

    Then you’ll force your own hand to remove your regular savings deduction, if your savings platform doesn’t already rake your money at 00:01 am on a Monday.

    1. Next, rent deduction.

    You know rent szn is going to be upon you soon, so it might be advisable to squirrel away something for your oppressor, the landlord.

    renting GIF
    1. Call from home

    Time to enjoy your remaining salary, right? Wrong. Momsy needs to buy food for the house and fuel for the gen. Guess who that’s on? You.

    1. Birthdays

    Alas, it’s your best friend’s birthday that month, and no how you won’t buy at least perfume, because they got you those shoes you love for your birthday. That one sef dey.

    1. Unforseen expenses

    You’re on your own, going to work o. Next thing, you bash somebody’s headlamp and they don’t look like the kind of person to collect “Sorry.”

    accident GIF

     

    I know what you’re thinking. “I don’t drive, so I’m good.” Well, that’s what you think. You’re trekking on your own, pressing phone and just enjoying your broke vibes. Unfortunately for you, you bump into the egg hawker, spilling their tray. Again, “sorry” isn’t a known currency, so pay up.

    1. Food and clothing

    Time to enter market. But all the price tags you’re seeing are looking very unfamiliar. It’s not resembling the one you saw the last time you were here. Thanks to Sai Baba, inflation has remained a steady 12% and prices have gone up. 

    1. Skincare
    Beauty Makeup GIF by Root

    Your skin is the type wey get strong head, wey no dey hear word. You cannot go near groundnut, dairy or beef without your face erupting in acne like hundred mini-volcanoes. Your skincare plug sef go collect cut. No pressure though.

    1. Airtime and Data

    You’re laughing and kikiking at this post but up next, Spectranet is telling you that you’re on very thin nice. Of course, the internet is like crack. You don’t care if you starve. That subscription money must come forth.

    1. Recreation 
    happy hour drinking GIF

    You look at your account balance and it causes serious pain in your soul. You need something to numb the pain so you turn to your best friend, alcohol. Unfortunately (for you), nothing is free so you have to shell out for this one. Gives you something to think about till your next paycheck. Inside life.

  • We Can Tell What Kind Of Salary Earner You Are

    So, you wake up grudgingly every morning to go and grind while muttering under your breath that adulthood is the ghetto. At the end of each cycle of tiredness, wetin be dis-ness, and all-round I-am-not-doing-again, you get paid.

    Well, depending on how you manage your finances on/after payday, we can tell what kind of salary earner you are.

    1) If you always have a large reserve of money before payday then you’re a go-getter who has their life planned out.

    Pls. Do giveaway.

    2) If your salary doesn’t finish before it lands in your account from all the accumulated gbese, then you are a 5-star adult and you must give us masterclass.

    Pls.

    3) If you ever feel guilty that your salary is more than the work you are doing, we are not so sure you can handle greatness oh.

    Fix up.

    4) If you are a civil servant, we prefer not to speak on this matter.

    If we speak we are in big trouble.

    5) Please, if you are using your salary to play 2 odds and baba Ijebu, stop it.

    That behaviour ended in 2019.

    6) See, if you don’t remember that you haven’t been paid for the month then you are our new best friend. You must be a Trust fund kid.

    begging ielts zikoko

    Please check your dm for our account number.

    What’s up, Zikoko Fam? It would mean the world to us if you spared a few minutes to fill this Reader Survey. It’s so we can bring you the content you really want!

  • 10 Types Of Nigerian Workers During Salary Week

    If you are employed in Nigeria and your employer is reasonable, chances are this is salary week. This week always reveals the different types of workers in any organization. From the employees who beg and cry, to the silently distressed, to the calm ones. Before we start on the different types of workers, let’s take a quote from our sponsors:

    “Long work hours may break my bone but salary week excites me.” – Anonymous, 2020.

    1) Can you borrow me money:

    They always need to borrow N2,800 until Friday when they get paid. This never changes month in and out. If there is one thing they are consistent with, it’s not learning how to properly manage their money.

    borrow workers

    2) The calm/indifferent employees:

    Chances are high that they are number one on this list. They are wildly responsible with their finances and life in general. Never to be caught un-rich. They probably have 5 years of salary saved up so they are never worried about getting paid or not.

    indifferent workers

    3) Grace to grass employees:

    Their major tell-tale sign is they stop ordering expensive food. These sets of people start to eat only one gala and small coke for lunch which is a step down from their usual expensive meals and lavish living. This is a perfect example of what their struggle looks like.

    grass to grace workers

    4) Already broke crew:

    Their motto before payday is “I am already broke”, their running expense is two times their income. These workers never seem to have money at any point in time. Like never!

    broke workers

    5) Constantly checking for alert gang:

    On the agreed salary day, you can catch them constantly checking their phone every 5 minutes. At every interval, they are logging in to their bank app, calling their banks customer care or running to the atm to check their balance. Our theory is they used their last cash to come to work that day and if no show, they have to trek home.

    checking phone workers

    6) Rumor has it:

    “I heard Gtbank has network issues so we can’t get paid today.” “They want to pay us minimum wage so there will be a delay.” Any kind of speculation surrounding payment, they are behind it. They are prophets of salary doom.

    rumor has it workers

    7) You must save ministry:

    They always remind everyone about the office contributory scheme or ajo. They send not so subtle reminders like ” Hello everyone. This is salary week. Make sure you pay your own contribution. 🙂” The passive-aggressive smiley is a subtle way of telling you that they will and can cut you if you don’t pay up. You definitely don’t want to mess with them.

    ministry workers

    8) Marketers:

    Always encouraging you to buy multiple items on credit because they will soon pay you. They literally force some of their goods into your face and if that doesn’t work, they employ guilt to serve their agenda. They are the enemies of progress where progress = savings goal.

    marketers workers

    9) Business people:

    They always have a business that can give you three times your income around when you get paid. From MMM to GNLD to bringing three people, that’s their specialty. They are actually agents of the devil sent to suck your hard-earned naira.

    business workers

    10) Complainers:

    They complain about why the salary isn’t paid per week instead. How the work doesn’t even tally with the salary. They also complain about how they can’t come to work tomorrow if they don’t get alert today.

  • Quiz: What Kind Of Phone Can Your Salary Buy?

    “If your one month salary cannot buy your desired phone, quit your job” – said no one ever. Really, what kind of phone can a month’s worth of income get you?

    Take this quiz to find out:

  • 8 Signs That It Is Time To Ask Your Nigerian Boss For A Raise

    Many young Nigerians don’t know how to talk about money or bring up conversations about finance. There are varying reasons for this trend that are too numerous to go into. Because we like you, we created a list of ways to know when it’s time to ask for a salary increase.

    1) Fatigue:

    If one day you suddenly realize that you haven’t been promoted at work yet you do the job of ten and a half people and you also spend more time (including weekends) in the office than the house you rented. This is a sign that it is time for your salary to match your stress levels. Make sure you only do this if you have been visibly performing and contributing to your company. Also, do proper research on salary range across the industry before asking for a raise to prevent “I thy know.”

    2) A crippling absence of enjoyment:

    When was the last time you traveled? Me too, I can’t remember. Well, this is about you and not me. So, if you realize that the job depends on you so much that you barely have extended free periods for yourself. You can’t worship God, can’t even slightly fornicate. Then you are in a prime position to negotiate an increase in wages.

    3) If your boss buys a new car:

    See, don’t ask us how we know. There’s money available. Quickly collect your share before the money finishes.

    4) If you have another job offer:

    If you have an alternative job offer but for some reason, you prefer your current company. You can just bring it up casually in a conversation if you are to shy to call a meeting: ‘There is serious traffic these days, speaking of traffic, that’s how XYZ company gave me a green light the other day. They offered me the XYZ amount to join them. Can you imagine?”

    5) The company has recently “gbe bodied” and you are their Zlatan:

    This is the best time to ask for an increase. If the company performed well in the last year and you contributed greatly to the success, you have the leverage to negotiate for a rise in your earnings. This is priceless if you created a process or product that saves the company time and a lot of money.

    6) Expertise:

    If you are the only person that is really and truthfully and honestly proficient in excel at your office, you can consider bringing up the conversation about money increase. Once you have an invaluable skill, your value automatically goes up. This is because it would cost more for the company to train someone new to do your job. Also, the person may not stick around as long as you have. However, make your research well before bringing it up. This is because asking for too much can make it backfire.

    7) Your salary hasn’t increased 14 years after joining the company:

    If you have been adding relevant certifications, consistently been doing good work and there is no noticeable increase in salary since joining the company. You should quantify all these and present your case to your boss so there can be a review.

    8) You want to go to Canada:

    Once I start my own company, anyone that tells me they want to relocate automatically gets a raise. Until then, God will fight our battles.

    “O Canada”

    “our home and native land”

    Beyond the jokes, I hope you found some parts useful. If you did, let us know in the comments!

  • QUIZ: Can We Guess Your First Salary?

    Many Nigerians have either been unemployed, underemployed or in a bad job at some point in their work history. To make you appreciate how far you have come, we created a quiz to guess your first salary.

    Take this to find out: