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Rivers | Zikoko!
  • What Else Can Wike Do With 100,000 Special Assistants?

    What Else Can Wike Do With 100,000 Special Assistants?

    If Nigerian politicians were content creators, Rivers State governor, Nyesom Wike, would be one of the most-watched creators on the social media streets. Every new week is a new opportunity for content for Wike, from using a live band to diss Atiku Abubakar, to bullying the PDP national chairman, or showing he’s a baller by dashing ₦300 million to a handful of Lagos widows

    The latest episode of the Wike Show is the appointment of the first batch of 100,000 special assistants on “Political Unit Affairs” in Rivers. According to Wike, their job description is to “work among their people and hear their views of his administration.” In other words, they should do amebo on what the Rivers streets are saying about Wike’s government. Of course, we can only guess the colour of wahala that’ll emerge if those comments are negative.

    Some critics also think he’ll use these special assistants for vote buying, especially against whoever Wike doesn’t like. 

    But, is the only use of these 100,000 minions special assistants opinion monitoring? Because we have some creative ideas for how Wike can use them if he’s interested.

    Backup singers for his live band

    Wike could make these 100,000 special assistants the latest addition to his live band for diss tracks. The band has already made phenomenal hit songs, from “As e dey sweet us, e dey pain dem” to “Wike na bigi man.” They have great potential to top Asake and co on the music charts.

    New hires for his research team

    With the way Wike dishes out interesting scandals on the PDP chairman on a steady basis, we believe there must be a secret research team giving him all the dirt. If the team is ever in need of fresh hands, these new guys can definitely help.

    Content strategists for his battle against Atiku

    Since Atiku named the governor of Delta State, Ifeanyi Okowa, as his vice-presidential candidate, Wike has been a wrecking ball to all of his campaign efforts. From calling him out as a “fake founding father” and even calling his supporters “attack dogs,” Wike has targeted Atiku like a hunter would target his prey. 

    But it’s only human to run out of steam, even if you’re Wike. That’s why the governor needs these special assistants to back him up with fantastic Atiku comebacks every week. Two heads are better than one, so imagine what 100,001 heads can do.

  • From Homeowner to Homeless — Nigerians Speak On Flood Crisis

    From Homeowner to Homeless — Nigerians Speak On Flood Crisis

    Nigeria is currently suffering its worst flooding crisis since 2012. For months, these floods have forced thousands of people out of their homes

    [Image Source: NEMA via AP]

    According to the Federal Government, the disaster has directly affected more than 2.5 million Nigerians with over 600 dead. The floods have caused untold hardship in 31 states, damaged more than 80,000 houses, and destroyed farmlands.

    Zikoko Citizen interviewed three people affected by the floods in Rivers, Kogi, and Delta. 

    Gloria, 28 (Rivers State)

    For Gloria, living with floods isn’t a strange thing. Nigeria hosts seasonal floods annually and she’s witnessed enough of those in her hometown of Omoku, Rivers State, for as long as she can remember. But, she’s never seen floods like the one that has now left her homeless.

    She told Citizen, “I’ve moved from my house to three different locations just this month alone because of the floods. My business has been completely submerged by the floods and I’m living on the little money I managed to save before all of this.”

    Gloria was very passionate about helping her fellow Omoku residents who have been left in worse conditions. And the situation makes her furious.

    She said, “Do you know people are stuck in remote villages, and can’t come out to Omoku because of this flood? Some schools, despite the floods, are still on. Children go to school with the water at waist level in their uniforms and come back the same way. What if they lose their lives? Many people, responsible people, used to have homes but now they’re sleeping on the streets. We’re suffering bitterly!”

    Gloria also has mixed feelings about the government’s response to the crisis. She told Citizen, “Well, I know that our governor (Nyesom Wike) has released ₦1 billion to help certain local government areas (including mine) with the crisis. But I can’t say for certain that the help is useful. At the Internally Displaced Persons (IDP) camp, there’s no light and no mosquito net. I’ve seen the state of those camps and people are falling sick every day. They claimed to have given each camp 30 mattresses but in reality, it’s only three pieces they delivered. Many people at the camp sleep on the bare floors.”

    Image Source: Madu Dab Madueke

    Theophilus, 32 (Kogi State)

    If anyone had told Theophilus that he would lose his family house to floods four years after it was built, he wouldn’t believe it. But that’s exactly what happened. 

    Theophilus received the shock of his life on September 21, when he arrived home from work to find his house completely submerged.

    “I have tried so hard to comprehend with God what I’ve done wrong. I had been saving money for several years, with loans, to build this house. I completed it in 2018, and now all that is gone. My wife and kids have gone from living in a beautiful bungalow in Lokoja to being refugees in an IDP camp. The relief materials can hardly go round . My youngest child has even started developing skin rashes in reaction to the flood water. I can only say that God knows best.”

    Image Source: Ibrahim Obansa/Guardian

    Demola, 23 (Delta State)

    Choosing to serve in Delta State for his National Youth Service Corps (NYSC) program was the worst mistake in young Demola’s life. Since September, the floods have messed up his commute to and from his primary place of assignment (PPA) in Ughelli South.

    “I thought coming all the way from Lagos to Delta was going to give me the freedom I wanted from my parents but, omo, I was so wrong. Wearing semi-wet clothes is now the default. I have to trek parts of the journey in water and use a public canoe to reach the school where I serve. I can’t even complain because all the other corpers, teachers, and students are coming in and out in that fashion, so who am I?”

    When asked if NYSC would allow him to go back home for safety reasons, he was unsure. “Knowing our government, they hardly ever do anything, but I’m hoping they tell corpers to go home. We don’t deserve to be put under this inhuman treatment in the name of serving this country.”

  • QUIZ: How Well Can You Do on This Quiz About Nigerian Rivers?

    QUIZ: How Well Can You Do on This Quiz About Nigerian Rivers?

    Take this quiz and flex your knowledge of Nigeria’s geography on us.

  • These Nigerian Rivers Have the Weirdest Names

    These Nigerian Rivers Have the Weirdest Names

    You know the Niger River — Nigeria is named after it, and it was “discovered” by a random white explorer, not the locals who lived around it for generations. 

    These Nigerian Rivers Have the Weirdest Names

    What you may not know is Nigeria has dozens of other rivers that have some connection to the Niger River or their own distinctions. Actually, there are 74 rivers in this country — if you’re not counting the one that forms our border with the Benin Republic.

    But for World Rivers Day, we focused on the ones with weird names and compiled a list just for you.

    Escravos River

    These Nigerian Rivers Have the Weirdest Names

    The Escravos River is located in southern Nigeria, and the origin of its name is a reminder of a dark time in human history. “Escravos” means “slaves” in Portuguese. The river got that name because it was a hot spot for the slave trade between Nigeria and the United States.

    Forcados River

    These Nigerian Rivers Have the Weirdest Names

    Just like Escravos, Forcados sounds like a Harry Potter spell that strikes the victim with diarrhoea. It’s also the name of a river and a small town in Delta State. It’s hard to tell who’s named after who.

    These Nigerian Rivers Have the Weirdest Names

    The town once had the longest slave wharf in Africa, built by the Portuguese from whom it got its name.

    Nun River

    These Nigerian Rivers Have the Weirdest Names

    The Nun River is a distant cousin of the Forcados River as they’re both formed at the point where the Niger River splits into two. It’s in Rivers State. Why it’s named Nun is anyone’s guess. 

    …or maybe it’s Nun of our business

    Gulbin Ka River

    Gulbin Ka sounds like the name of an evil warlord with a funny laugh, who removes the scalps of his enemies. 

    Don’t let his appearance fool you

    But it’s also the name of a river that originates in Zamfara State and runs into the Niger River.

    Rima River

    Rima sounds like the name of a woman who left her groom at the altar or the fake identity of someone who’s trying to escape the law or both.

    “Rima” actually means “White Antelope” in Arabic and is the name of a river in northern Nigeria.

    Komadugu Gana River

    Komadugu Gana has to be the name of a conqueror like Alexander the Great. But he didn’t make the history books so naming a river in the Chad Basin after himself was his consolation.

    Otamiri River

    These Nigerian Rivers Have the Weirdest Names

    The Otamiri River in Imo State is named after Ota Miri, a local god. He’s believed to own all the water named after him. We wonder who’d win in a water battle between him and Aquaman.

    These Nigerian Rivers Have the Weirdest Names

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  • We Asked 6 Corpers How They Are Surviving During The COVID-19 Pandemic

    We Asked 6 Corpers How They Are Surviving During The COVID-19 Pandemic

    Since COVID-19 hit Nigeria, a lot of corps members have been affected. Some were sent back home without completing the orientation camp, and those already serving were asked to stay at home. In this post, we spoke to 6 corps members in different states on how they are surviving this Coronavirus period.

    NYSC and Covid

    Hamdalat, Corper in Kano state.

    My family lives in Osun state. When it was confirmed that COVID was in Nigeria, I wanted to travel, but I considered a number of things. First of all, the distance: Kano is about 18 to 19 hours to Osun state. The journey is not a child’s play. And then the transportation fare. If I decide to travel, I will roughly #17,000 to and fro excluding feeding expenses.

    Besides, I feel it’s more dangerous to travel during a period like this because you don’t know the medical records of other passengers that will be in the vehicle. One might actually get infected in the vehicle if care is not taken.

    What then happens if I become infected? And I’ll be mingling with my family which might spread the disease further. So I decided to stay back.

    It has not been easy though. Especially if you consider the situation of things in Kano right now. These days, I go out once in six days to buy water, pepper and other essential items. Each time I go out, I make sure I’m obeying all the basic rules of hygiene. I try as much as possible to avoid physical contact too. When I’m bored, I turn to my phone for gist. There is no greater gist partner.

    NYSC and Covid

    Rachael, corper in Ogun state.

    My whole family is in Lagos, but I haven’t gone home since January. Ogun state is very peaceful and I like it here. Food is not a problem. Even my parents send money to get food stuffs for them via bus. Besides, by staying back here, my respect is intact. Nigerian can frustrate you and as I am like this, I am not ready for that.

    I own a sewing machine and it has been a reliable source of income for me. There are so many guys in this area who like to do big boys. They always meet me to slim-fit clothes and I charge #300 per cloth piece, something that I don’t spend more than 10 mins on each adjustment. In one day, I can do 20 of such jobs. Calculate that. I also coach about 4 kids on my street. Another source of extra cash. I haven’t touched my allowee in a long time.

    I miss my family, but life happens and we all must learn how to cope. In my four years of university, I visited home only four times, so I think I can withstand not seeing them for a longer period. We video chat regularly, though. That’s one way I’m keeping up with them.

    One thing I’m concerned about right now is that NYSC should not call us back. Me I won’t answer. They should keep paying, sha. That money is necessary. When it’s time for Passing Out Parade, they should let us do it online. No more no less.

    16 Ways To Make Money During Your NYSC Year

    Oyeniyi, corper in Zamfara state.

    I intentionally chose to stay back in Zamfara. Lagos is really hit by the pandemic and the Lockdown is heavy there. If I had traveled home, I would have been forced to sit at home all day, and I can’t afford to do that. But here in Zamfara State, movement continues though work has since stopped. I can cope with that.

    It’s boring though; many of my friends have travelled so there is no possibility of hanging out or anything. Instead, I read, surf the internet and work on my system. I miss CDS. I miss our discussions and presentations. I can’t wait for the world to return to normal.

    NYSC and Covid

    Ezinne, corper in Niger state.

    I was initially posted to Ekiti, but I am married, so I redeployed to Niger state, which is where I’m based. Everything is quite normal here, but it is almost impossible to go out of the area, and things get more expensive by the day. For example, if you buy a mudu of rice for N500 today, expect it to be around N550 the next time you buy it.

    I have a baby, and she takes most of my time, so I don’t worry about being bored. I try to read a book sometimes, too. Because Niger state is home, I am around my family. My elder sister’s street is not far from mine and she just gave birth, so I often go there. My mother is there with her too. She came for the naming ceremony and got held back by the lockdown. And then my twin younger sisters, are home from school, so it’s all like a big family reunion. With all these people around, it’s hard to do anything useful.

    I really want to go back to work. Staying at home without doing anything is strange for me. Plus, I feel somehow getting paid for doing nothing. I hope this thing of ‘an idle mind is the devil’s workshop’ does not happen.

    Jonathan, corper in Ekiti state.

    Before the Coronavirus pandemic, I had been planning to organize tutorials for students here. But I kept holding back, because I had doubts about the whole thing. When Corona happened and everything went on hold, I decided not travel home to Ogun state. Ekiti has reduced number of cases, compared to Lagos. It is safer here, and I chose the safer option.

    When I realized that things are not showing signs of being reduced anytime soon, I decided to organize the lessons I had been planning to. Right now, it is the third week, and I must say it is very profitable. I charge N50 – N100 daily, and we start by 9AM and end by 12PM. As at today, we have realized about N10,000. COVID-19 makes it easy for parents to take it seriously; besides, they need a way to keep their children occupied in this period.

    Asides the lessons, I am trying to study binary and bitcoins. When I am not doing my studying, I sleep.

    Sofiat, corper in Rivers state.

    If I had known that things would turn out this way, I would have traveled home to Kwara since. In Port Harcourt, the border is closed, so nobody can travel. Lockdown is also in effect, so it’s like double wahala. And then the governor is acting like a dictator. Everybody is living in fear. You dare not step out anyhow. Once they catch you, it is straight to the isolation centre. A few days ago, he demolished two hotels for not adhering to the lockdown order. It has not been funny at all. Nobody can say anything or confront him.

    NYSC and Covid

    Food stuff has become very expensive. 10 pieces of tomatoes for N500. Even garri has become gold. The least amount you get plantain for is N400. And it’s not the big size. Very tiny plantains.

    As much as we can, my roommate and I try to stock up and minimize costs. We miss work, but what can we do. Thank God for Ramadan, it is the one way we are keeping sane. Everyday, we seek Allah’s mercy on the world at large. We hope things go back to normal soon.

    NB: Pictures used for illustrative purposes only.


    Hello! Thanks for reading, as always. We are trying to create more NYSC posts for you, and we would like it very much if you can take one minute to fill this form: NYSC SURVEY. It would help us to know the kind of things you’d like to read. Thank you!