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Restaurants | Zikoko!
  • Alternatives to Consider Now That Inflation Has Driven Restaurants Mad

    Even if you live under a rock, it wouldn’t stop you from feeling the biting effects of the inflation in Nigeria. According to recent data, January 2024’s food inflation stood at an alarming 35.41%. God, abeg.

    It’s not surprising that fine dining restaurants that’ve always charged through the roof for their meals are moving madder than mad. If you don’t plan to spend two weeks worth of your hard earned salary on a plate of food, these alternative spots should be on your radar.

    Your parents’ house

    Alternatives to Consider Now That Inflation Has Driven Restaurants Mad

    If you have a date, take them to your parents. It’s a huge step, but beloved, your pocket might not survive the effects of that creamy pasta and strawberry daiquiri. Ten minutes after your arrival, your mum or dad will ask, “So, what is your friend going to eat?” And the good thing is you’ll also get a plate.

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    Your grandparents’ house

    Alternatives to Consider Now That Inflation Has Driven Restaurants Mad

    Lagos restaurants can argue all they want, but ₦14k for a plate of abula is wild. That’s a pot of soup for a week, if you think about it. Everyone knows baby boomers make the best abula anyway, so why not just visit your grandparents. You even get a wide option of paternal or maternal. Alternate between their houses, and you wouldn’t have to pay a thing for homemade local delicacies again.

    Don’t forget the Mama Put on your street

    Alternatives to Consider Now That Inflation Has Driven Restaurants Mad

    If you’ve rolled your eyes at all the Mama Put spots in your area, it’s time to do better. They might bump up their prices a little, but you’ll still fix yourself a decent plate with a ₦500 – 1k budget. Some of them even throw in garnishes like red onions to help your food cosplay as a fine dining meal.

    Or that friend that knows how to cook

    It’s fine if they weren’t inspired to start cooking until after Hilda Baci’s cook-a-thon. Now, you can fill their ears with sweet whispers of how food is the new crude oil. If they’re scared to start a food business, offer yourself up as their first paying customer and let them cook.

    Owambe

    Alternatives to Consider Now That Inflation Has Driven Restaurants Mad

    If you’re in Lagos, the weekdays have nothing on you. Search the nook and crannies of your neighbourhood and you’ll find an owambe to gatecrash. Just make sure you wear white so you can blend in no matter the theme of the day. Find a good spot and make yourself comfortable. If the food doesn’t come, find a waiter to tip. 

    People outside Lagos should target the weekend though. 

    Fast food chains

    Just a reminder that you can still dine like a second-class king with a ₦3k budget when you walk into any franchise outlet near you. Swallow your pride today.

    The house of God

    Perish the idea that you’ll get small chops, coffee or even jollof because inflation has made that a thing of blessed memories. But remember, feeding your spirit is just as important as feeding your earthly body.

    If you need even more places for your must-visit list: These Are the Best Suya Spots in Lagos.

  • The Mental Cost of Running a Restaurant Is More Expensive Than Any Bill

    When you think about the cost of running a business in Nigeria, the financials come to mind first. But there are grave mental costs too, and Olayinka Ahmed (co-owner and manager of Citi Lounge) only realised this weeks after starting his restaurant.

    He talks about building the restaurant from scratch, why he believes everyone is out to defraud him and how much the business has changed him in little time. According to him, he’s “lost his humanity”. 

    As told to Boluwatife

    Image designed by Freepik

    Nothing prepares you for the reality of running a restaurant in Nigeria, especially if you have zero business experience like me.

    I was a freelance influencer and had never held a 9-5 before setting up and co-managing Citi Lounge — a restaurant and lounge on the Lagos Mainland — in November 2023. I’ve been at it for about three weeks, and my learnings could fill a book.

    The first thing you need to know when setting up a similar business in Lagos is that you’ll need a lot of money. Money influenced the idea of owning a lounge in the first place. My friends, Joshua, Chidi, and I were more versed in the digital marketing space, but we saw an opportunity to make money with the lounge and thought, “Why not?”

    We kicked off our plans in September 2022. Once we decided we were going forward with the idea, land was the next thing to cross off the set-up list. This is where money comes in. We found a spot in Surulere and took out a 10-year guaranteed lease.

    The government approvals and building construction came next. Lagos State takes these approvals seriously, so you can expect multiple supervisions from agencies like LASEPA, a million documentation, and several accreditations if you ever consider setting up a lounge. This cost between ₦100k – ₦200k. It is a tedious but necessary process. 

    We eventually got approval to start building in March 2023. Of course, we had to deal with the area boys who didn’t allow us to build — even after government approval — until we met with their leaders and settled them. That cost a couple of millions. After we paid, they gave us a timeline to complete building or risk settling them again. We met the timeline and kicked off operations in November.

    When running a restaurant business, it’s important you get adequate technical support and training from a kitchen and operations consultant. Things like getting the restaurant to have a uniform taste and portion size and other processes don’t just happen by chance. We knew how it worked, but we still had a few glitches during the launch.

    A week before the official launch, we decided to do a friends-only opening to get feedback and tweak our processes as necessary. We planned for 100 people, but the invitees must have thought it was a bigger event because 600 people turned up. 


    RELATED: How To (Successfully) Gatecrash An Owambe In Nigeria


    Our waiters were overwhelmed and were all over the place, so many people left without paying. Maybe the invite should’ve specified that it wasn’t a “free” launch, but I expected people to know to pay for their drinks as a way to support a new business. Out of eight bottles of Glenfiddich we sold that day, we could only account for three payments. Each bottle sold at ₦92k. In total, we lost at least ₦5 million in unpaid bills that day.  

    The official launch wasn’t much better. We had extra temporary waiters, but the turnout exceeded expectations. I didn’t know we were supposed to have runners — people who assist waiters with sending and delivering food orders to the kitchen so the waiters don’t leave the main area. Since the distance between the lounge and the kitchen is quite small, we figured one person could do it. Ideally, one person can do it, but it’s a challenge during peak periods when a waiter is also trying to attend to and get other customers’ orders to the kitchen. The biggest problem here is that people can easily slip out without paying, and that’s what happened to us.

    Thankfully, we’re past that now. Did I mention the tax payments? It’s a whole new world, and you’ll definitely need an accountant. 

    In Lagos, you must pay 12.5% tax on every revenue you make: 5% consumption tax and 7.5% VAT. No one tells you this before starting. The crazy thing is I can’t directly charge this to customers. We’re in Surulere; If someone knows a bottle of beer costs ₦1k somewhere else, why would they pay ₦125 extra for the same thing? So, we have to pay that off from whatever we make, not counting product loss or theft.

    Speaking of theft, never forget that everyone — especially your staff — is out to defraud you. I hired someone who had been begging for a job four months before we started. He’d come to the site and practically do work as a labourer, so he’d be part of those we’d employ when we started operations. He was also very religious, so I thought I was lucky to find a God-fearing, hardworking man. 

    One week into employment, we caught him stealing a massive chunk of raw meat. We’d just installed a CCTV system, and surprise surprise, he was seen hiding the meat in the bin so he’d come back for it. What’s funnier is that another staff saw the meat and kept it aside, but he went and took it again.

    Immediately after watching the video, my manager called all the staff together to beg them not to steal. She begged for nearly two hours and was close to tears before she was done. She also called out the meat thief in everyone’s presence. You won’t believe that after that talk, we caught yet another staff hiding multiple pieces of asun under pasta. You can’t even blame it on hunger because we give them lunch, and even a lion didn’t need that much asun. It’s just sad.

    Vendors aren’t left out, too. The other day, we ran out of beer and called our direct contact at the breweries. They didn’t have what we needed, so I decided to buy from a retailer nearby. The retailer’s price was only ₦100 more than what my wholesale contact charged, which shouldn’t be the case since wholesale is meant to be far cheaper. 

    Curious, I asked the retailer how much he sold empty bottles, and he charged ₦1k per crate. This was the same thing my wholesaler sold to us for ₦5,400. We’d bought 85 crates from him, meaning he’d overcharged us by a whopping ₦4,400 per crate. I’m sure if I’d negotiated with the retailer, he’d have sold it for less than ₦1k. I emailed the breweries to complain, but I know I won’t get my money back. The best they’ll do is sack the wholesaler.

    I’m a different person than I was a few weeks ago. Now, I know why it’s important to talk to people in this industry. The wholesaler could cheat us because he knew we were new to the business. It won’t happen again; I now know to seek several opinions and check several prices before buying anything.

    I’ve also lost a huge part of my humanity. I can’t stand to see people hurt or turn a deaf ear to pleas, but I’ve realised that people are out to ruin the business. Remember the meat thief? I was advised to sack and arrest him, but he showed remorse, and I decided to give him another chance. A few days later, he started acting up again, threatening to leave the business, and I had to have him escorted out. He responded by rolling on the floor and begging to stay. It broke me, but I knew he wasn’t actually remorseful.

    Running this business has also made me more analytical. I used to believe in the universe making things work for me, but the business will pack up in days if I wait for the universe now. I have to be on the ground, keeping an eagle eye on everything. If it’s not food theft, it’s waiters claiming some customers didn’t pay so they can keep the money. I hardly have time for my family or other work interests now, and it’ll probably be like this for the next six months. I hope by then, we’ll have established a culture and strict processes to ensure the lounge runs at minimal loss without my daily input. 

    It hasn’t been all terrible, though. I recently started sharing some of these experiences on Twitter, and people have been really supportive. We’ve had people visit the lounge just because they saw my posts and wanted to show support. Patronage has been up by 500%, and it’s a significant testament to the fact that while there may be many terrible people, there are equally as many good people out there. It’s what keeps me going.


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  • Restaurants in Ikeja: Seven Hot Spots That Should Get Your Coins

    The mainland gets a lot of heat, but there’s no denying that we have some sweet spots, and even better, these restaurants in Ikeja won’t damage your pocket.

    Whether you’re looking to dine solo, or with your friends or family, you’ll comfortably walk into these spots like the true boss that you are.

    The Grid 

    Restaurants in Ikeja: Seven Hot Spots That Should Get Your Coins

    Source: TheGridLagos

    You don’t have to brave the traffic of trying to get to the Island. If you’re looking for a fun-filled experience on a slim budget, The Grid has got you covered. The chefs at the upscale restaurant use traditional African recipes to create a familiar experience for visitors.

    Source: Instagram (@thegridlagos)

    Address: 6, Thomas Ajufo street Lagos NG, off Opebi link bridge, 100001, Ikeja.

    Menu: Chicken suya, calamari strips, gizdodo, Ojuelegba tacos, apple tart, coconut creamy flakes, fried rice, jollof rice, etc.

    Average spend: ₦10k per head

    Perks: Karaoke night, group friendly, walk-ins.

    Average customer rating: 4 stars

    Yellow Chilli

    Source: Ofadaa

    On the mainland and looking for the Yellow Chilli experience? You don’t have to go all the way to the Island. The Ikeja branch offers the same experience.

    Source: Instagram (@yellowchilling)

    Address: 35, Joel Ogunnaike St, Ikeja GRA 101233, Ikeja, Lagos.

    Menu: Oil bean salad, jollof rice fiesta, yam pottage special, peanut chicken, goat curry, chicken pepper soup, goatmeat pepper soup.

    Average spend: ₦10k

    Perks: Dine-in, take-out, delivery, vegetarian-friendly.

    Average customer rating: 4 stars

    Zen Garden

    Restaurants in Ikeja: Seven Hot Spots That Should Get Your Coins

    Source: Foursquare

    If you love Chinese food, then this is one of the restaurants in Ikeja that should be getting your money. From the interior that takes you on a literal journey to China to the traditional Chinese recipes, you’ll leave the spot a satisfied foodie.

    Source: ZenGarden

    Address: G.R.A, No. 60 Isaac John St, Ikeja GRA 101233, Ikeja, Lagos.

    Menu: Shredded chicken in peanut sauce, barbecued pork, smoked fish, special seafood fried noodles, crispy duck, fried prawn with chilli.

    Average spend: ₦15k per head

    Perks: Dine-in, take-out, free wifi.

    Average customer rating: 3.5 stars

    Ocean Basket

    Restaurants in Ikeja: Seven Hot Spots That Should Get Your Coins

    Source: BellaNaija

    Imagine a restaurant that’s 100% dedicated to teasing your taste buds with a variety of seafood options. That’s exactly what Ocean Basket is. You know the extra catch? They have two branches in Ikeja!

    Source: OceanBasket

    Address: 9, Obafemi Awolowo Way Shop U06 1st floor, Ikeja City Mall, Ikeja Nigeria.

    58c Isaac John St, Ikeja GRA 101233, Lagos

    Menu: Fish and chips, prawn and mussel combo, crunchy fish bites, calamari, firecracker squid, village salad, seared salmon salad, creamy seafood soup.

    Average spend: ₦10k per head

    Perks: Dine-in, take-out, delivery.

    Average customer rating: 4 stars

    Jevinik Place

    Restaurants in Ikeja: Seven Hot Spots That Should Get Your Coins

    Source: InfoAboutCompanies

    It would be criminal if we didn’t have an elevated fine-buka experience on the mainland, but thankfully, Jevinik does a good job of representing. Think of your everyday Nigerian staple, and you’re in good hands with this mainland restaurant. They also have huge portions that will leave you bursting.

    Source: Instagram (@jevinik_restaurant)

    Address: 29 Isaac John Street, Ikeja, Lagos.

    Menu: Oha soup, pounded yam and egusi, fried rice, jollof rice, ogbono, bitter leaf soup.

    Average spend: ₦5k

    Perks: Dine-in, take-out, delivery.

    Average customer rating: 3.5 stars

    Rhapsody’s

    Restaurants in Ikeja: Seven Hot Spots That Should Get Your Coins

    Source: Hotels.ng

    This is one of the restaurants in Ikeja that you should go to if you’re looking to eat good and have a nightclub experience while at it. Also, dress hip because you might run into your favourite celeb at either of their Ikeja braches.

    Source: Instagram (@rhapsody’s_nigeria)

    Address: 176/194 Obafemi Awolowo Way Ikeja City Mall.

    Isaac John, Ikeja, GRA.

    Menu: Chicken pops, asun, prawn suya, oisha crab and noodle salad, mushroom burger, quinoa kale seafood salad, nasi goreng, chicken espedata.

    Average spend: ₦10- ₦15k per head

    Perks: Takeout, outdoor seating, parking available, wheelchair accessible, bar, free wifi.

    Average customer rating: 3.5

    Golden Eagle Spurs

    Restaurants in Ikeja: Seven Hot Spots That Should Get Your Coins

    Source: InfoAboutCompanies

    Might not be the best choice for relationship people, but it’s great for large family gatherings. The food is good and there are many fun activities for kids.

    Source: Instagram (@officialspurnigeria)

    Address: 53 Isacc John St. Ikeja GRA, Lagos 100271 Nigeria

    Menu: Chicken strip, calamari salad, buffalo wings, chicken and French fries, peppamelt burger, chicken and mayo pizza, seafood platter.

    Average spend: ₦10k per head

    Perks: Family friends, kiddies play area, free wife, take-out.

    Average customer rating: 4 stars

  • Restaurants in VI: Seven Spots to Visit on a ₦15K Budget

    New restaurant spots spring up on the island almost every ten market days and finding the best restaurants in VI can become a chore because you’re spoilt for choices.

    However, if you’re on a budget and looking to justify your spending, this list has some restaurants that deserve to get your coins.

    You’ll get your money’s worth, we promise.

    Nok By Alara

    Restaurants in VI: Seven spots to visit on a ₦15K Budget

    Source: Nok by Alara

    If you fancy an experience at a contemporary high-end African restaurant in VI with a bougie-edge to it, this is your spot. Bonus point: They also have a boutique store where you can shop high-end fashion and interior decor pieces.

    Source: Instagram (@NokbyAlara)

    Address: 12A Akin Olugbade St, Victoria Island 106104, Lagos

    Menu: Abula, suya crusted steak, ewa aganyin, plantain pancakes with braised oxtail, snail bruschetta, fried rice, etc

    Average spend: 10 – 15k per head

    Perks: Walk-ins, takeout, outdoor garden, family-friendly.

    Average customer rating: 4 stars

    Oceans5 By Riviera

    Restaurants in VI: Seven spots to visit on a ₦15K Budget

    Source: Riviera Suites

    This is your spot if you’re looking for good food and Instagram-worthy pictures. You’ll also get a fine dining experience that won’t destroy your pocket.

    Source: Instagram (@oceans5byriviera)

    Menu: Savory steak with creamy mashed potatoes, sushi spread, peri peri chicken skewers, grilled shrimp tacos.

    Address: 20 Elsie Femi Pearse St, Victoria Island

    Average spend: 10k – 15k per head

    Perks: Family friendly, Sunday buffet, walk-ins, parking.

    Average customer rating: 4.5 stars

    Bungalow restaurant

    Source: Navi

    If you’re looking to take your taste buds on an exciting journey, Bungalow’s the right spot. It’s one of those restaurants in VI that you’ll love if you like sushi and love to try new things. They also offer Mexican and American cuisines.

    Restaurants in VI: Seven spots to visit on a ₦15K Budget

    Source: Instagram (@bungalowrestaurant)

    Address: Plot 1296 Akin Adesola Street Victoria Island, Lagos 74278 Nigeria

    Menu: Grilled salmon with Nigerian fried rice, Buffalo Tortilla chips, Mexican salad, Spaghetti Bolognese, rice and chicken curry, steak and chips.

    Average spend: 10k- 15k

    Perks: Live music show, takeout, group and family-friendly.

    Average customer rating: 4 stars

    Z Kitchen

    Source: ZKitchen

    Z Kitchen easily ranks among the best restaurants in VI and a trial will convince and not confuse you, or what’s that thing they say?

    Source: Instagram (@zkitchen)

    Address: Branch: 19 Saka Tinubu St, Victoria Island 106104, Lagos.

    Menu: Salmon platter, cheese platter, feta bake dip, truffle and cheese roll, eggplant bravas, buttermilk chicken and biscuits, crispy prawn rolls, prawn cocktail, beef sliders, etc

    Average spend: 15k per head.

    Perks: Dine-in, takeout, group friendly, smoking patio, bar.

    Average customer rating: 4.5 stars

    Hans and Rene

    Restaurants in VI: Seven spots to visit on a ₦15K Budget

    Got a sweet tooth and FanYogo isn’t quite hitting the spot?  You can indulge all your ice-cream/gelato cravings at this spot and will. You should make a stop, especially if you have little ones.

    Source: Instagram (@hansandrene)

    Address: 1a Ozumba Mbadiwe Ave, Victoria Island, Radisson Blue Hotel premises, Lagos.

    Menu: Peanut butter jelly gelato, black forest gelato, pistachio macarons, sticky toffee pudding, cake slices, etc.

    Average spend: 5k – 15k

    Perks: Take-out, family-friendly, delivery.

    Average customer rating: 4.5 stars

    Yellow Chilli

    Source: Nightlife NG

    You want to have an amplified version of your everyday Nigerian staple? Yellow Chilli should be on your radar. No, we mean it.

    Restaurants in VI: Seven spots to visit on a ₦15K Budget

    Source: Instagram (@yellowchilling)

    Address: 27, Oju-olobun close, off Bishop Oluwole Street, Victoria Island, Lagos.

    Menu: Chicken pepper soup, goatmeat pepper soup, oil bean salad, jollof rice fiesta, yam pottage special, peanut chicken, goat curry.

    Average spend: 5k –15k

    Perks: Vegetarian-friendly, take-out, delivery.

    Craft Lagos

    Source: HightableAfrica

    Nestled at the top floor of Mega Plaza, Craft Lagos is an open-space restaurant run by couple: Tarek and Lou Baker.  It’s one of the treasures of the island; their carrot juice is to die for.

    Restaurants in VI: Seven spots to visit on a ₦15K Budget

    Source: Instagram (@craftlagos)

    Address: 14 Idowu Martins St, Victoria Island 106104, Lagos

    Menu: Goat cheese salad, roasted salmon with herbs, steak, chicken avocado sandwich, chicken pesto pasta, cold-pressed juice etc

    Average spend: 15k per head

    Perks: Breakfast buffet, group friendly, PoS.

    Average customer rating: 4 stars

    PS: Craft Gourmet is currently under renovation.

  • The 10 Best Restaurants in Lagos You Must Visit

    If you’re looking to justify your lavish spending, this list has the names of the best restaurants in Lagos that will give you your money’s worth. Finding that in this city is rare, we promise.

    New restaurants pop up in Lagos everyday but many of them are just aesthetics and vibes, so we’ve done all the hard work and curated a list of the best places to eat out in Lagos. 

    With some  that scream “I have money to blow,” these Lagos restaurants should be getting your coins every day.

    Check them out in no particular order:

    Maison Kayser

    The 10 Best Restaurants in Lagos You Must Visit

    Photo: Instagram (@maisonkayser_ng)

    Nestled in the highbrow area of Ikoyi, Lagos, this restaurant comes with an offering of the best pastries you can find in the centre of excellence.

    Source: NightlifeNG

    Think of natural breads, pastries, cakes, Italian gelato & French bistro dishes and this is the top Lagos spot for pastry lovers.

    Menu: Chicken wings, Mozzarella sticks, Nachos, Chicken Fajita Sandwich, Ginger bread, Americano with whipped cream.

    Branches: Eric Kayser VI – 864A, Bishop Aboyade Cole, Victoria Island, Lagos. Eric Kayser Ikoyi – 9, Osborne Road, Ikoyi.

    Average spend: N10-15k per head.

    Perks:  Group/family friendly, take out.

    Average customer rating: 4 stars.

    Ocean5 by Riviera

    Source: Oceans5 by Riviera

    If you’re out  for some fine dining, please gather your coins and set up camp here. The world class menu here will easily transport you out of Lagos to all the beautiful countries you can think of. 

    Bonus point: You get to make your own pasta on Thursdays alongside a supervising chef.

    Best restaurant in Lagos

    Photo: Oceans5 by Riviera

    Menu: Savory steak with creamy mashed potatoes, sushi spread, peri peri chicken skewers, grilled shrimp tacos.

    Branch: 20 Elsie Femi Pearse St, Victoria Island

    Average spend: Nn15k-N20k per head.

    Perks: Family friendly, Sunday buffet, walk-ins, parking.

    Average customer rating: 4.5 stars.

    NOK by Alara

    Best restaurant in Lagos

    Source: Awe Lagos

    This Lagos restaurant continues to hold its own as one of the spots that gives you a mix of bougie and street realness. Whether you’re craving abula or want to get your hands dirty with a pot of nkwobi, it is the spot for you.

    The 10 Best Restaurants in Lagos You Must Visit

    Source: NOK by Alara

    Menu: Suya crusted steak, ewa aganyin, plantain pancakes with braised oxtail, snail bruschetta, abula,fried bean pancake with ugu, green shakshoukta, etc

    Averal spend: N10- N20k per head

    Branch: 12a Akin Olugbade Victoria Island, Lagos. 

    Perks: Walk-ins, takeout, outdoor garden, family friendly.

    Average customer rating: 4 stars.

    Ile Eros

    Best restaurant in Lagos

    Source: Bellanaija

    If you’re in need of authentic Nigerian food with a modern twist, Ile Eros is the spot to be.

    Chef Eros has a specially curated menu that makes you see your regular Naija staples in a new light. You know what’s even more interesting about this restaurant? They now have a branch in Los Angeles for our diaspora brothers and sisters.

    The 10 Best Restaurants in Lagos You Must Visit

    Source: The quick finder

    Menu: Dambu nama roll, sticky yaji wings, habanero zobo wings, jollof adugan, abula, turkey fried rice, smoked chicken yaji pasta, ayamase, etc.

    Branch: 14 Kafayat Abdulrasaq Street, Lekki.

    Average spend: N15k- N20k per head.

    Perks: Fine-dining, takeout, group friendly.

    Average customer rating: 4.5 stars.

    Z Kitchen

    Source: ZKitchen

    The ‘kitchen’ might scare you into thinking you’re getting regular homemade meals but that is so not true. Z Kitchen easily ranks among the best restaurants in Lagos and you’ll know why when you pay them a visit.

    Source: Zkitchen

    Menu: Salmon platter, cheese platter, feta bake dip, trufle and cheese roll, eggplant bravas, buttermilk chicken and biscuits, crispy prawn rolls, prawn cocktail, beef sliders, etc

    Average spend: N20k-N30k per head.

    Branch: 19 Saka Tinubu St, Victoria Island 106104, Lagos.

    Perks: Dine-in, takeout, group friendly, smoking patio, bar.

    Average customer rating: 4.5 stars

    Turaka Lagos

    The 10 Best Restaurants in Lagos You Must Visit

    Source: Awe Lagos

    Owned by media mogul, Mo Abudu of Ebonylife, this Lagos restaurant is a casual rooftop spot that offers you a generous view of the city. Definitely a spot to visit if you’re planning a picturesque proposal.

    Source: Instagram (@turakalagos)

    Menu: Beer batter fish, sticky pork ribs, Nigerian pepper soup, spicy seafood, vegetable panini, Turaka burger.

    Branch: 1637 Adetokunbo Ademola Street, Victoria Island.

    Average spend: N20-N25k.

    Perks: Takeout, dine-in, comedy specials, rooftop view, delivery.

    Average customer rating: 4.5 stars.

    Shiro

    Are you even a Lagos big boy/girl if Shiro hasn’t gotten your coins? Nestled within the popular Landmark centre, the offerings at this Pan-Asian restaurant takes your taste buds on a trip you won’t forget in a while.

    Source: TripAdvisor

    Menu: Cantonese chicken wanton, thai kwai seafood, crunchy gomae, sambal chicken salad, edamame, fiery grilled salmon, prawn in xo sauce, wasabi prawns, etc

    Branch: Block XVI 3 & 4 Victoria Island Oniru Estate, Eti-Osa.

    Average spend: N15- N25k per head.

    Perks: Fine dining, dine-in, Sunday buffet, event friendly.

    Average customer rating: 4.5 stars.

    Ofada Boy

    The 10 Best Restaurants in Lagos You Must Visit

    Source: Eat. Drink. Lagos

    Think of Ofada boy as the king of the mainland. Food lovers have a love-love relationship with this restaurant because of the authentic African offerings and affordable prices. Easily one of the best restaurants in Lagos, Ofada Boy will feed you on a N5k budget.

    The 10 Best Restaurants in Lagos You Must Visit

    Source: TripAdvisor

    Menu: Ofada rice, village mixed ofada, seafood ofada rice, ofada kingdom, native soup, fisherman soup, jedi on the rocks, etc.

    Branch: 1 Mba St, Surulere, Lagos Surulere

    Perks: Private dining, family friendly, takeout, local cuisine.

    Average spend: N5k-15k

    Average customer rating: 4 stars.

    RSVP Lagos

    Source: TripAdvisor

    If you want a feel of the USA in Lagos, this is the restaurant for you. Everything from the architecture and interior designs screams class. Definitely a place to come if you want to impress bae. Please, hold your bar.

    Source: TripAdvisor

    Menu: Spicy hummus, crab tacos, chicken skewers, spicy tuna maki, prawn summer roll, BBQ pork sandwich, sea bass, jumbo prawns, chicken katsu curry, etc.

    Branch: 9 Eletu Ogabi St, Victoria Island 101001, Lagos

    Average spend: N20k-N30k.

    Perks: Dine-in, poolside bar, group friendly, private events.

    Average customer rating: 4.5 stars.

    Cactus 

    Source: TripAdvisor

    Cactus Lagos is another notable mention, and we promise, this isn’t mere word of mouth. Whether you’re looking to catch breakfast, lunch, dinner or intercontinental dishes, you’ll find that there’s a place for you.

    Source: Travel Waka

    Menu: Avocado bruschetta, crispy calamari, 9ja bites, cobb salad, norge salad, Cuban steak sandwich, teriyaki noodles, etc.

    Branch: 20/24 Ozumba Mbadiwe Ave, Victoria Island.

    Average spend: N15k-N30k.

    Perks: Group/family friendly, dine-in, takeout, private events.

    Average customer rating: 4 stars.

    Join the gorgeous gorgeous babes in Lagos for the hottest women-only party of the year. Grab your HERtitude tickets here.

  • How to Eat Like a Food Blogger on a ₦30k Budget This Detty December

    One sure way to show people on social media that you’re enjoying Detty December is by posting pictures from fancy restaurants. Even though Nigerian restaurants cost an arm, foot, liver, beard and edges, they’re the new December concerts, and there’s nothing we can do about it. 

    If, like me, you’re on a small budget, here are some tips on how to get the most out of your Detty December restaurant experience without using your family’s last born for rituals. 

    Ditch your broke friends 

    Sure, birds of the same feather flock together, but don’t you want to bamba and flock with the big birds? See, if you really want to enjoy the restaurant experience during Detty December, you need to let go of the broke people in your life and elevate to the IJGBs (with their pounds and dollars) and other rich people who can comfortably say, “Oh, I have it covered,” when the bill arrives. 

    You can go back to your broke friends in January. If they genuinely care about you, they wouldn’t mind. A win for one is a win for all. 

    Become a vegetarian

    Restaurant food is expensive, but you see that extra protein on top? Omo, it’ll book you a first-class ticket to SAPA-land. You don’t need to have steak or prawns, dear. Tell the chef to make pasta with onions and Indomie spices. Oh, and no one will even try to drag you because being vegetarian is a cool kids’ thing these days. #PETA4Life 

    Eat before you leave your house 

    One thing about fancy Nigerian restaurants is they’ll serve you the same portion of food they’d serve a chihuahua (and add two or three leaves if you’re lucky). Restaurants are for vibes and aesthetics, not food. So if you don’t want to be unfortunate or tempted to order dessert, better do the right thing and boil small rice before you step out. 

    Take pictures before the bill comes 

    Nothing will ruin your mood faster than getting the bill. Trust me, I’m talking from experience. By the time you’ve looked at the food bill, service charge, VAT, Tinubu charge, VPN charge and Red Cross charge, all the vim you had to take pictures will disappear. Please, don’t waste your baff-up or money. Take those pictures before the bill arrives, to avoid stories that touch. 

    RECOMMENDED: It’s Not Detty December if You Don’t Do These Things

    Look for food-tasting events and crash it 

    It’s December, so you can be sure at least three or four new restaurants will open every weekend before we enter 2023. Whether you’re on the guest list or not, I suggest you find your way into those restaurants on opening day because most of the food will be free. Don’t tell anyone we told you. But most importantly, don’t you dare mention Zikoko if they catch you. 

    Tell people you’re on an alcohol cleanse 

    Who alcohol epp? Have you seen the price of cocktails these days? And all because they can light the drink on fire. No, thank you. Why pay ₦‎10k for a cocktail when you can buy cheap wine or make one of these crazy cocktails recommended by Zikoko writers in the comfort of your home. If people ask why you’re not drinking, tell them you’re on an alcohol cleanse or you’ve given your life to Christ. 

    Attend every family event 

    Will you have to endure your aunties and uncles asking you why you’re a single pringle? Yes. But is the food free? Also, yes. Has anyone ever died from insort? No. So, suck it up and go to big mummy’s house in Surulere for free food. 

    Flirt with the waiter 

    Like they say in Nollywood, “Scratch my back, and I’ll scratch your back.” 

    If you want portions that’ll fill one-quarter of your stomach and food that’ll come out on time so you can take pics for socials, you need to be on the waiter’s good side. All the shouting you’re doing to show yourself will only motivate them to spit in your food. A word is enough for the wise sha. 

    ALSO READ: The  Zikoko Guide to Drinking at a Party

  • Imagine if ZIKOKO Owned a Restaurant 

    Imagine if Z!KOKO owned a restaurant called Z! Restaurant (sadly, “Z Kitchen” was taken). Here’s what would happen:

    We’d be closed on public holidays

    We don’t joke with rest. If other people get to not work on their public holidays, so should we, please. 

    The ambience would be purple and white 

    Image source: Fohlio

    It’s not Zikoko if it’s not purple and white, duh. Expect to see our colour theme everywhere, down to cutlery. 

    Waiters would wear whatever they want 

    Image source: Happy Shopping

    Our servers would be GenZs, and if we tried to tell them to wear uniforms, they wouldn’t answer us. The most they’d allow is name tags that also have their pronouns. Because you shall not misgender. If you saw someone wearing fishnets and a bucket hat, asking you what you’d like to eat, don’t be afraid, they’re a waiter. 

    Menus would be quizzes 

    The menus would be bar codes. Once scanned, you’d have to take a random trivia quiz to access the menu. If you got below five, no food for you. 

     QUIZ: What Type of Restaurant Are You?

    You’d eat interesting meals

    You’d get the utmost fine dining experience. We’d serve meals like Eba et ketchup, Ice cream and plantain, Indonesian noodles avec okra, etc. 

    Foods would be named after gen-z terms 

    We’d have names like “Purr” for catfish and potatoes. You’d also see food named “It’s giving Nigerian babe” for seafood pasta, and “I stan”: the goated meal that is amala. 

    ALSO READ: If Gen Zs Don’t Say These 12 Things in a Day, They Might Actually Die

    Semo would never be served 

    Because we don’t deal with bad vibes. 

    Waiters would talk to you like they’re interviewing you 

    Waiters wouldn’t just walk up to you, say hi and ask for your order. They’d ask follow-up questions concerning your life, your meal choice, when you come to the restaurant etc. They’d even ask you to rate your love life on a scal of 1 – 10 Because there may be a story there, and we’d write it. 

    There’d be sections named according to flagships 

    There’d be different seating areas in the restaurants named according to Zikoko Flagships: Naira Life for fine dining, Love Life for dates, Man Like for geez who just want to hang out after work, What She Said for the hot gurls, Sunken Ships for ex-friends trying to reconnect or gain closure, etc. And they would all have their unique attributes. 

    You’d do a TikTok dance before we let you you enter

    At Zikoko, we value entertainment and fun. That’s why before you’d gain entry into our fine establishment, you’d be made to record a TikTok dance with our staff. We promise it’d be fun. 

    ALSO READ: 10 Things to Know Before Going to a Lagos Restaurant


  • 7 Nigerian Waiters On Annoying Things Customers Do

    NB: “Waiters” here, is gender inclusive.

    There’s a lot of conversation around ensuring topnotch customer service and overall satisfaction. Also, there’s the dragging culture when the standard is not met. After all, the “customer is always right”, right? Maybe not always.

    In this article, we will be seeing things from the perspective of Nigerian waiters. Let us hear from them too, because as it is, some customers do used to move mad.

    Janet, 24

    Recently, there was a guy who came here and tried to stress my life. He just entered and had not placed an order yet, when I heard him shouting, “Hello! Hello! Come and clear this place!” I rushed down thinking it was a pile of dirty plates, and was ready to apologise. Only for me to see that it was one bottled water on a corner of the table he was shouting about. It annoyed me, because I had several customers to attend to and this is what he called me for?

    Zainab, 21

    One annoying set of customers I encounter a lot is time wasters. These people will summon you to place an order but will be so sluggish about it as if they are the only ones you have to attend to. There are even those who will ignore you and go on chatting with their friends. If it’s the other way round, I will not hear the end of it. How am I supposed to attend to you if you don’t tell me what you want?

    Henry, 25

    Fake alerts have been an issue ever since we started accepting transfers as a mode of payment. This is because POS can be unreliable. So, I always try to be at alert, memorise faces or insist on card payments if possible. There was a guy who made a transfer and wrote down a fake number. When I called later to inform him that we hadn’t been credited, all I could hear on the other end was an angry man speaking in Hausa. Ah! This same guy walked in two weeks later, and thankfully, I recognised him. He gave excuses about how his bank had not reversed the transfer he made and he doesn’t know why the number wasn’t correct. I made sure he paid up and then he left. Had I not recognised him, he would have gotten away with it and I’ll have a salary deficit at the end of the month.

    Ade, 22

    How customers react when it comes to change can be annoying. One day, a man had bought something worth 1, 100 Naira and there was no change to give him because I could not get from the bank. So I suggested he paid 1k cash and transferred the remaining 100 Naira or pay the whole 1, 100 Naira with his card instead. This man started shouting, “What kind of rubbish is this? Is this my first time of coming here?” What customers don’t understand is that it’s not a matter of being a first time customer or not. This is not my business and I have to account for the money no matter how little. Finally, he agreed to make a transfer and I gave him back his cash, but when the alert came in, it was 100 Naira I saw instead of 1,100 Naira. I thought it was a mistake, so I explained to my manager. Some days later, he came again but had on a face mask and face cap covering most part of his face. I still recognised him and drew his attention to the pending bill. Things like this just give me headache.

    Ayoola, 23

    One of the annoying things I’ve noticed is customers who order for Amala and cause trouble because of fork and spoon. It’s their food and they can do whatever they want, but how will you nearly want to bring the roof down for cutlery and end up not using it? Isn’t that ment? Asides that, being a waiter is not all that bad. There are customers who give tips as much as 5,000 Naira. Also, my favourite type of customers are those who call to order takeouts; they rarely stress and are usually regulars, so I know how they like their food.

    Mary, 23

    We’re understaffed here, and it makes the workload unbearable on some days. I double as the cashier, waiter and food server. There are times when people come in groups, I dread this because they tend to make my work harder than it already is. Say they are six in the group, you’ll finish taking an order for Jellof rice from two people only for the rest to order the same thing after saying they wanted something else. It irritates me. Why can’t you make up your mind? Meanwhile, other customers will be calling for my attention:”You’ve not attended to me!” “I’ve been calling you!””Why haven’t you brought my order?”This is why I prefer when groups make decisive orders at once. I understand that people can develop appetite for something other than planned, but it can be very stressful coming back when I should be moving on to other customers.

    Kelechi, 22

    Some customers think because I’m here waiting on them, I don’t have plans for my life or maybe I did not go to school. How can you just be rude, dismissive and hostile for no reason? Although, I have learnt to not let such customers get to me. I remind myself that it’s not their fault, I am only here to work for my money. Whatever issues they have that makes them act a certain way is not my business.

  • The Zikoko Guide To Opening A Restaurant In Lagos

    One of the most thriving industries in Lagos is the restaurant industry, People are always looking for where to spend money when there is rice at home, in this economy? And on that salary? Anyways, here are a few tips on breaking into this industry.

    1. Make sure it’s in a hidden location

    What’s fun about a place that is easy to find right? You can build at the back of ten hospitals and under a bridge if you so wish.

    2. Add bistro at the end of the name

    Doesn’t matter that your food is way to expensive for a bistro, who gon check you? In Sanwo-Olu’s Lagos?

    3. Take nice pictures of the food you sell for instagram

    It doesn’t matter that it won’t look like that in person, how will people even know?

    We might judge you, but God will judge you more.

    4. Go for the aesthetics

    Flowers, Mud cloth pattern on the walls, nice background, good ambience. Anything to make people forget the bad food.

    Yes girl, give us nothing.

    5. Hire a celebrity chef

    This is not for everyone but you need to be able to give people a reason to come back if your aesthetics don’t work.

    of course you can also hire anyone and just add chef to their name, that works too.

    6. Make everything unreasonably expensive

    There is no reason why just anyone should be able to afford your food, plus how else will you pay your celebrity chef?

    Wickedness must be your middle name

    7. Pasta

    Sell all the different types, posterity has proven that lagosians love this or why else would it be thriving?

    8. Do not research

    There’s no need to find out what a pina colada is or a mojito. Just put a lot of ugu in a cup and call it a day.

    God airpus

    9. Small parking lots

    You don’t want them wasting time in your restaurant, everybody should eat and go abeg.

    10.  Deliver late

    Anything that is worth paying above 5k for, is worth delivering late or how does that saying go?

    Even God won’t save you
  • 7 Nigerian Women Talk Being  Denied Access To Public Spaces

    Being a woman is already hard enough. We have to deal with harassment, unrealistic societal expectations, fear of getting raped and murdered for rejecting romantic advance, and the list goes on. Now, reports are, women are getting denied entry to certain spaces without a male chaperon because they are perceived as prostitutes. I spoke to some women about their personal experience and this is what they had to say.

    1. Rose

    I went to deliver a cake to a client at Stone Cafe in Ibadan. They refused me entry so I thought it had something to do with my shorts, T-shirt, and slippers. I tried to reason with them that the celebrant asked me to come in with the cake (that I was holding) but they ignored me. That was how I called the celebrant to come outside. She tried to beg them that the cake was too heavy for her and she didn’t want to have to carry it. When they refused, she stepped out to get the cake and when she tried to get in, they refused her entry. They asked her to call the man she came with before they let her in again. Omo.

    2. Jewel

    I went to rooftop bar at Eko hotel with my best friend. As we were walking to the elevator, one of their employees blocked us and asked us where we were going. When we told him, he asked who we were going to meet there, we said we just wanted to get drinks. He then inquired if we were staying at the hotel. The interrogation was getting confusing until we saw a man walking past us without getting blocked then we got the memo. The employee let us go eventually but we were too disgusted so we just left.

    3. Oyin

    Last December, a group of friends and I went to Switch Lounge in Ibadan for some drinks. We got barred because they do not let women into their establishment without at least one man with them. We were shocked because we had come there a couple of times without issues but what we didn’t realise was that we were only granted access in previous times because we came in with men. They excused their policy saying prostitutes frequent there as a means of getting clients and they wanted to curb it. I haven’t been there since then.

    Hi there! The HER weekly newsletter launches on the 6th of March, 2021. A new newsletter will go out every week on Saturday by 2pm. If you have already subscribed please tell a friend. If you haven’t, you can by clicking this button. It will only take fifteen seconds. Trust me, I timed it!

    4. Mercy

    In 2019, I went to moist beach and the bouncers prevented us from going in because we had no male company. He asked if we came alone and we said “yes” and he told us that he had to been instructed to not let women in without a male companion. It was so embarrassing because I kept thinking is it not my money I am coming to spend? What does this have to do with a man? Luckily, I saw a male friend there who confronted them before they let us in.

    5. Queen

    I and my girl planned a night outing and our first stop was Velvett Lounge VI but they denied us access. Apparently, you have to either reserve a table before time, come with a man, or be a regular customer (but how am I supposed to be a regular in a club please?). We left Velvett and went to Sip (Zenbar), where we were still denied access that we can’t enter without a man. We finally just went home cause we couldn’t deal.

    6. Thema

    I made a reservation at the Office Bar in Sheraton February this year to celebrate my birthday. I invited my girlfriends but when I got there, I was denied access by the security for about 20 minutes until the manager came and confirmed my reservation. When I asked why, the manager said most times, girls come and take up seats, not pay for drinks and harass their male customers. How come men harass women in public spaces all the time yet are never denied access to these spaces? I never set foot there again.

    7. Amaka

    When Velvett used to be a restaurant, my friends and I would go there to wait out the traffic. When they became a club, a few friends and I decided to go there one night and we were denied access. It really pained me cause I used to spend my money there at least 3 times a week and now, they are acting brand new.

    Hi there! The HER weekly newsletter launches on the 6th of March, 2021. A new newsletter will go out every week on Saturday by 2pm. If you have already subscribed please tell a friend. If you haven’t, you can by clicking this button. It will only take fifteen seconds. Trust me, I timed it!

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  • The #NairaLife Of A Struggling Chef Who Hates Working For People

    Every week, Zikoko seeks to understand how people move the Naira in and out of their lives. Some stories will be struggle-ish, others will be bougie. All the time, it’ll be revealing.

    When you think about money, what is the oldest memory that comes to your mind?

    Growing up with a struggling single mother. She couldn’t finish school when she got pregnant and had to drop out.

    What was she studying?

    Accounting. She was also working part-time at a cosmetics store, where she met my dad. They fell in love, and she got pregnant.

    Ah. 

    He was there for three months after I was born, paying bills, buying baby food. Then he disappeared for a month, so she went looking for him. She got to the house and saw plenty of slippers by his door.

    My father was getting married to someone else. 

    Ah. 

    Anyway, my mum struggled to raise me by herself. At a point, I lived with my grandma and her sister because she couldn’t cope.

    Did she pay for your schooling?

    For secondary school and university, I was on a scholarship. My grand-aunt funded it. My uni school fees, for example, was around ₦500k per year — it was a private school. 

    I imagine you still had to worry about taking care of yourself.

    When I called my mum for stuff, she’d say she doesn’t have money, so I didn’t like asking her. She sent ₦5k every month, but it was never enough. The first job I ever did was an ushering job in university — I was 19 and in 200 level. I’ll never forget that job.

    They told us to bring stilettos. We were on our feet for like nine hours on stilettos. The pay was ₦5k, and I got stranded after. See, I couldn’t have survived uni without my friends. 

    Tell me about that.

    First of all, I went to a university where cooking wasn’t allowed. Some periods, my feeding was covered by my friends and my boyfriend. So many times they’d say, “Let’s go and eat. I’ll pay for the food.” Sometimes, my boyfriend would buy me dinner, but there were days when I’d go without food. 

    When was your most difficult financial stretch in school? 

    400 level, while I was working on my final year project. I started calling family members till it got to the point where they were saying, “Ah ahn, what about your mum?”

    What about your mum?

    She used to work at a filling station. It was my sponsor’s filling station. My mum had to endure harsh working conditions just because of the scholarship I was on. You get? Her salary was ₦20k without a pension, healthcare. Like, when my mum retired from that job, her salary was still ₦20k.

    Ah.

    She worked there for over 15 years. She retired in 2019. She fell really sick and just never went back to work. Diabetes. She suffered a partial stroke too. She’s 52 now. It’s funny because her first real health crisis started on my last day at school. 

    Tell me about it.

    I think it was the anxiety or excitement of it. She gets very anxious whenever I’m travelling, for example, so I never tell her till I reach where I’m going. Anyway, telling her I was coming home the next day, coupled with my graduation, landed her in the hospital for two months.

    How did you pay for that? 

    My grand-aunt. She paid for it; I just did the caring. I’m very grateful to her for my schooling and for my mom’s hospital bills. This was in 2015. The next year, I went for NYSC.

    Where did you work? 

    I worked at a government ministry in Ogun State. There, I started selling jewellery to sustain myself beyond NYSC’s ₦19,800.

    Before NYSC, I fell in love with a guy because of his fingernails. When I started serving, and he didn’t want me squatting, he paid for my rent, a ₦50k per year room. 

    After NYSC?

    I started applying to jobs, but nothing was forthcoming. 

    What kind of jobs were you looking for? 

    You know now, after NYSC, you’ll be applying to office jobs. I thought I would work in an office, buy my mum a car.

    Aha. How did that go?  

    Nothing happened. I was just sitting at home, getting fat. I spent almost a year at home. My boyfriend used to send me money as the spirit led. I gathered all the money and started selling noodles. Because most people knew I was a graduate, they used to come to my stand and say, “I like your courage”, and then they’d buy. 

    How many cartons were you selling? 

    I started with half a carton of noodles, bought sardines, bought two spaghetti, bought takeaway packs. I started with about ₦20k. Then I started delivering to people, and it was legit cool, till I got a job interview at a bank one month after. I was soo happy, until I went there. 

    What happened? 

    The role was a contract role as Direct Sales Agent. I didn’t want to take the job, but they said if you do well, you could become a full-time staff of the bank. 

    How much was the job?

    ₦48k before commission. Basically, you’re going to look for new people to open bank accounts on your own dime. 

    Out of frustration one day, I just walked up to a man outside the bank and started pitching to him. I had no clue he was the state’s zonal head of the bank.  

    I left the job after a month. If I’d stayed there, I would have expanded a whole lot more.  

    Why did you leave? 

    Someone paid for my culinary school. My zonal head asked in the office if anyone knew a caterer for a small event. I told him I could do it. This was in 2017.

    I got paid ₦150k to cater for 30 people. 

    How much did you make in profit? 

    Maybe ₦10k, because I didn’t have my own equipment and spent a lot on renting. Through that gig, I met a man.

    Heh. 

    You know those Yoruba men that say, don’t call me chief, call me Ade? 

    Ohooo. 

    Yes. He asked me what I wanted, and I told him: culinary school. I just said the first thing that came to my head. I didn’t even know there were culinary schools in Nigeria, but he told me to go and do some research. I found one, and it cost ₦500k. When I called him, he said: “When do you want to start?”

    Energy. 

    He sent ₦300k for me to make a deposit. But that was when I started asking myself, what does this man want from me gan gan? 

    Great timing.

    I went to meet my office confidante, and he was like, why are you doing as if you don’t know what he wants? You better return the money if you can’t do it. But I couldn’t return the money. 

    Because you’d made a deposit. 

    Then he invited me over one day. When I got to the house, I just knew this wasn’t his real house. So I drank a lot of Vodka from his bar and… 

    And?

    And that’s how I collected my balance that day. 

    Noted. 

    The next month, I enrolled in culinary school. It felt like I wasted money because my tutor was Youtubing our classes, and I started to wonder why I didn’t go to Youtube and use the money to start my own business. Anyway, I got a certificate there. 

    After culinary school, I was at home again. My friend helped me secure an interview at a coffee shop, as a manager. I got that job because of my culinary certificate. The pay was ₦80k, and it was on that ₦80k that I made recipes and grew out the menu. 

    Culinary school finesse. How long did you work there for? 

    Eight months. She hired someone else to come and work on my team and started paying her ₦180k. 

    Interesting.

    I was like, why is there so much difference between our salaries when I’m doing way more? I found out that the girl went to school abroad. I was mad.

    Someone else who had gotten another job at a restaurant asked me to apply there. So I did.

    I actually told the owner of the restaurant that I wanted ₦150k, but I settled for ₦110k. This was in 2019.

    What was it like working there? 

    Generally great, except for the one man, a chef, who made my job difficult. He kept trying to sabotage me. 

    I also got tips and bonuses that pushed my money to like ₦130k monthly.

    Nice. 

    Eventually, I left early in 2020. I feel like I’d have stayed longer if that other chef didn’t make my life difficult. I really wanted to give my food business a shot though. When I left, I didn’t have much beyond my main ₦110k salary.

    So, how did it go financially? You had ₦110k and no stable means of income. How did you wing it?

    I had a support system. My boyfriend. It’s not like I was on an allowance or something, but any time I asked for money, he gave me. Whenever he noticed I needed money, he gave me.

    How did the lockdown affect your business? 

    It was bad at first, then it became good just before the end of March as people were stocking up. Demand increased in June when the lockdown was lifted a little. June was my best month. 

    Do you know how much you made?

    No. I put whatever money I made back. I know there were days where I made enough to pull out ₦10k in a day.

    How was your mum at this time? 

    I placed her on an allowance. It used to be on impulse before, when she’d call me and say, “I need this or that.” Then I realised that it had gotten to a point where I couldn’t save anymore because I was giving her all my money. So, I put her on a monthly allowance in August this year. 

    How much? 

    I told her that I’ll give her ₦20k every month, but not at once. Every week, I’d give her ₦5k as a benchmark. 

    I’d also been living with my boyfriend for most of the lockdown, but a few months ago, I rented a place. We’d been having issues, so it felt like the right thing to do. Everything cost me like ₦800k.  

    I’m happy I took that step. 

    Me too, but why are you happy? 

    Because I would have gotten stranded. We had a fight, and he kicked me out. Before, I would have had to beg him. 

    What do you mean, “before”?

    He threw my load away six times.

    Tell me about the f — wait, are you okay talking about this? 

    Funny thing is, I don’t know how to feel anything anymore. I tried to cry but I couldn’t. 

    I don’t even think about it. I can’t remember much, but the first time it happened was probably two years ago. I went back to live with my mum.

    The second time?

    I sat down there, outside his house, because it was late. I also didn’t have any money on me.

    Was this his reaction to every fight? 

    Not really. First, he’d insult me, insult my family and always remind me that I come from a broken home. Then he would try to hit me or he would scream at me. You know when someone is screaming, and you are trying to get through to the person, you end up having a shouting match with them. Whenever this happened, he would turn the table on me and say I’m the one always screaming the house down. 

    For five years, I literally held down the relationship. 

    That’s heavy. So, back in the kitchen? 

    I never left. I’ve even been sending CVs out for chef roles. 

    I noticed that you can’t tell how much you’ve made, but what’s an expense that never leaves?

    My mum. I legit have to cater for my mom. She has nobody else. Then my house is not yet done.

    You and money have an interesting history, you know. 

    Yes. It stops a lot of nonsense and disrespect. That is why can’t work under people. I always feel humiliated if I have to depend on them.

    Another thing I’m curious about, what’s an aspect of your financial life that you struggle with?

    I never have enough even when I try to save.

    What is something you want right now but can’t afford?

    Like I said, setting up my mum and then setting up myself, because I’ve always wanted to own a restaurant. If I’m able to set up a restaurant or a buka, I don’t need to set her up. I’ll just be like, momsy, come and stay here. 

    Do you ever wonder what a different life will look like for you?

    Yeah. A different life would be a complete family with siblings. My mum wouldn’t be as lonely as she is. I feel like I missed out on family bond. You know, that closeness. Sometimes I feel like I have nobody. I think that’s something that made me stay with that guy. He gave me a sense of family.

    These days, I feel like I’m floating.

    On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate your financial happiness and why?

    4. I feel like a steady income will make me more grounded, not worrying about the next day. I feel like I can do better, but why am I not better? 

    Do you ever feel like this? 

    Sis.


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  • 4 Lagos Restaurants People Seemingly Only Visit To Take Pictures In

    Don’t even give me that. We all knew this day would come. Someone had to say it. Pretend that the title of this is “4 Lagos Restaurants With The Best Aesthetics” or whatever.

    1) Tea Room

    That old school Volkswagen covered in and surrounded by flowers has been through a lot. It has been the background for thousands of pictures on social media. It needs to start getting credit in captions.

    2) Mykonos on the Roof

    10 awesome restaurants in Lagos you should check out - Lekki Republic

    Mykonos on the Roof was designed to look like all those pictures of Santorini and Mykonos you see on Twitter. Unfortunately for them, that’s the only thing people go there for: To stage full-on photoshoots (complete with outfit changes) after buying 1 bottle of water.

    3) Hardrock Cafe

    Hardrock cafe | LagosJump Radio

    You guys, if the sign in the picture above could talk, it would scream and beg to be put out of its misery.

    4) Nok by Alara

    NOK By Alara Restaurant And Lounge VI Is An Amazing Place To Be ...

    Those walls. Ugh. Those walls are the perfect background for a far-out Instagram picture with some caption about how whoever is reading it should break up with their boyfriend because the individual in the picture is bored.

    What’s up, Zikoko Fam? It would mean the world to us if you spared a few minutes to fill this Reader Survey. It’s so we can bring you the content you really want!

  • All The Stress That Accompanies Lunch At Work

    1. Having lunch at the office at the office can be stressful!

    2. Or it could be a comedy of errors!

    3. If you pack food from home, there’s the stress of having to prep the day before…

    4. Or wake up earlier than normal to prepare your meal.

    5. Then you get to work and amebos are asking “what is in your cooler”?

    6. Please, even if it’s human head, are you the one that’s going to eat it?

    7. Then there is the wahala of finding food if you don’t pack lunch.

    8. When the buka with affordable food is dirty and noisy.

    9. But the nice and classy restaurants price their food as if you told them you want to eat a last supper!

    10. Then you have some colleagues that bring the worst smelling concoctions to work in the name of lunch.

    11. And the “fitfam” ones that don’t allow anyone hear word because of the leaves they are eating.

    12. You, when people try to bond in the office canteen:

    13. When people still expect you to say “come and join me” as if the recession is not affecting everybody.

    14. When you say “come and join me” and one moron eats half your meat and almost all your plantain.

  • 14 Types of People You Will Meet At A Nigerian Restaurant
    When you have your lunch break, the personalities at the buka and the food are  always enough entertainment to make the day better. If you have ever stepped in a Buka or a restaurant in Nigeria, you will understand how spot on this is.

    1. The Queue Jumpers

    These ones always acting like they haven’t eaten since they were born, trying to skip the queue. Uncle please respect yourself. All those on the queue are we selling beans?

    2. The Space Keeping Liars

    These ones are born liars, they come and tell you “I was in your front before you came here”. Sorry oh Mr. Buka Chairman, please go and join the line at the back abeg.

    3. The Indecisive Person

    They spend thirty minutes queueing for food, and then get to the front and say,  “ah I don’t even know what I want to eat”. Like excuse me, were you sleeping since?

    4. The Ones That Never Have Change

    They are coming to buy N10 food, and they come with N1000 note and get angry when there is no change. Buka not Central Bank sir.

    5. The Loudspeaker

    These ones are the loudest.No matter what you do you can hear them once they enter, thing is whatever they are saying doesn’t make sense, but you can hear every word.

    6. The Romantic Couple

    These are the ones that are always in one corner, feeding each other rice and beans and sharing shaki. Oshey Mr and Mrs Romantic, don’t let pepper enter your eyes oh.

    7. Mr or Mrs Packaging

    Their tagline is “Can I get some cutlery for this amala and ewedu/Pounded yam and egusi  please?”. These ones can even ask for chopsticks for their tea. Will you die if you use your hand eh?

    8. The Glutton

    “Abeg give me Amala N300 and four goat meat”, “Is that all?” “I just dey start, put one roundabout, two shaki, one ponmo, and two cowleg, make e big well oh”. Brother… take it easy.

    9. The “Fisi” “Jara” and “add more” Person

    No matter the amount of food they buy you will hear “you no go put fisi for me? See as my soup small”. Sir/Ma pay more if you want more now.

    10. The Philanthropist

    You will be lucky to have these sort of people when you go into your favorite restaurant. They usually pay for everybody’s meal. See answered prayers and manna from heaven.

    11. The Angry Football Fans

    Once they land in the buka, word cannot be heard. It’s either the Messi Vs Ronaldo argument or why Arsene Wenger is a failure. Please can we eat in peace *dodges mole of eba*.

    12. The Never Satisfied Customer

    These are the most difficult people on the planet. Seems they come to piss everyone off. “Aunty, this your vegetable soup no sweet like yesterday”, “your shaki today no soft like last week own”, “why is the washing hand water cold like this”. Please don’t be this person.

    13. The Troublemaker

    These ones are a special breed. They are always on the lookout trying to be offended. Can you just eat in peace.

    14. The chilled person

    This person is always in his/her own lane in a corner enjoying their food, earphones plugged in and minding their business. Please be this person.

    Which one are you?