Questions | Zikoko!

Nollywood and Oliver Twist might as well be the same person because they never know when to stop. Whenever we get a movie or series the general public likes, they return in 10 years or two with a sequel or a prequel.

It’s been five years since Oloture – the story of a journalist who went to look for what wasn’t missing and ended up in the hands of murderous human traffickers – came out. The movie ended with a weird cliffhanger, so EbonyLife decided to give us a sequel. I’ve watched it, and naturally, I have questions.

Does Netflix pay more for series?

I just want an explanation for why I sat down to watch a 3-episode limited series that ended up being an hour and 45 minutes long (yes, I did the maths) and ended with a ridiculous cliffhanger. They could have just given us a film so we know what we’re actually signing up for.

Who pissed off continuity?

Someone on the production team has to come out and say what they did to continuity this season because the lack of fucks given is shocking.

Oloture has on a new and not-so-improved wig. Beauty somehow took down her cornrows and cut her hair on her run from the Benin border into Lagos. They must have swapped buses because the girls who entered the Benin Republic are not the same girls who left Nigeria. Something must have happened to the continuity team. This is too much.

Where did Sandra disappear to after one day?

One minute, Sandra was running the hostel with an iron fist; the next, she had disappeared from Lagos and put her sister in charge of her affairs. Either something was pursuing her, or she was pursuing something; we want to know where she disappeared and how.

I know it’s hot in Nigeria, but why was Chuks always shirtless?

It’s hot AF in Nigeria, and Chuks was having money issues. Still, if he had enough funds to fuel his car and buy the food that gave him the energy to disturb all the women in his area, he had enough to buy a shirt, even if it was okrika.

When did Beauty’s mother move?

One day, Beauty’s mother lives on a desolate, dry land. Two days later, Beauty returns to the house, and everywhere is filled with vegetation and fertile soil. It’s either the people that were sent to kill her mother are Grade A gardeners, or someone just called us foolish.

How did Chuks kill Ade so easily?

Yes, I know he used a knife, but did you see how Mr. I-can-send-an-army-of-men-to-shoot-up-your-coaster-bus walked into the scene? He looked like someone with serious money and power, only for Chuks, the pimp, to take him down that easily? Where were his bodyguards? How didn’t he hear Chuks’ heavy boots walking so closely behind him? I need answers!

READ: Gidigbo Central: The Best Nollywood Fight Scenes

Why did Beauty agree to go to Europe again?

She said she was doing it for her sister, but why? Her sister’s dead, and so is her mother; the people who killed both of them are in Lagos, Nigeria. What is she going to Europe to look for?

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Why is Oloture so foolish and naive?

In the history of foolish characters doing foolish things, I fear Oloture might take the cake. She kept her secret hidden from Lagos to Libya, but she meets a fine man named Femi, and that’s who she thinks she can trust?! Not Peju, not Ben or even Victor, but a strange man in a strange land? She should clap for herself.

Will they ever get to Europe?

At first, it was cute, but now I’m getting upset. Oloture better teleport to Europe, remain in one of those African countries, or return to Nigeria before the next season. She’s a danger to herself and her travel companions, and if she makes one more foolish mistake, I will take matters into my own hands and fight her.

ALSO READ: QUIZ: Can You Guess the Nollywood Movie From Its Cast?

Chioma Munachi

July 2, 2024

Pop

Nollywood, oloture, Questions
The first date is where you decide if a relationship is worth pursuing or if you should pack your shoes and run for the hills.

The best way to do this is by asking them the following completely necessary questions we gathered from all the chaotic discussions on Twitter NG.

Is your wife a part of your family or a stranger?

Open the date with this, so you’ll know where you stand in the long run.

How many eggs can your partner eat daily?

The only appropriate answer to this question is this:

Anything other than this, pack your bags and RUN.

“You are not the most beautiful or the smartest but I chose you.” Is this an insult or a compliment?

Don’t think too long, it’s an insult. If they tell you otherwise, just prepare for a relationship filled with lies and gaslighting.

How many times do you eat in a day?

The “and who do you expect to cook these meals?” is silent, but it’s still there, especially if the answer passes three.

If your mother and wife are in your car, who sits in the front seat?

You’ll be the queen of his life, so obviously, the answer should be you.

Refrigerated food or fresh food, which do you prefer?

Food is food, yes we know, but if they prefer fresh food, and they look at you expectantly, get ready, they’ll drag you from Abuja to Ibadan and stress your life.

What do you think about dancing in the club?

You might think, “What does a little body movement in a place meant for dancing have to do with anything?” Until you find out you’re giving your partner the ick because of small leg work.

Are you a stan?

Stans are loyal and dedicated to their faves, so hopefully, when you start dating, you’ll become their fave and not have to share a spot with their number one, or worse, get kicked down the list.

What do you think of banger boys?

Or girls, you just want to know if they subscribe to the messiness of insulting people unprovoked, so you can run before you become a victim.

What political party do you support?

If you can’t trust them to pick leaders wisely, how can you trust them in your would-be relationship?

Whose name is your assets under?

How much control do they have over your assets?

It’s not a competition, but you need to know where you’ll stand when it’s time to share their property.

How close are you to the national cake?

You need to know if you and your potential children will be beneficiaries of curses from the general populace.

GET YOUR HERTITUDE TICKETS HERE

Chioma Munachi

April 17, 2023

Her

First Date, Questions
When it comes to starting a conversation with a Nigerian woman, there are some questions they’re asked so many times, they just want people to keep asking them. So, ask, but whatever you see afterwards is the repercussion of your actions.

When will you get married?

Because marriage is all a woman thinks about, asking this question will cause her so much joy, her hands might just connect with your face in celebration.

Should you be eating that?

You want to quiz the owner of the body about what she puts in it? She might eat you just to prove a point that she can eat whatever she wants.

Whose pussy is this?

Definitely not yours, but ask anyways. Maybe you need to be humbled.

RELATED: 9 Important Questions for Nigerian Women That Men Desperately Need Answers to Ask

Why are you wearing that?

There’s nothing a woman loves more than when she puts so much time and energy into her appearance just for a man to ask her this question. It’ll elicit so much emotion from her, she might stone you with her shoe as a show of care. Don’t forget to duck!

What would your man think?

It’s very important for a woman to know that whatever she’s doing is for the approval of the man in her life. So, whenever you see a woman living her life unapologetically, don’t forget to ask her what her man would think of it. She just might kill you.

RELATED: Nigerian Women Answer the Most Googled Questions About Relationships

How much is in your savings?

Women adore being pocket-watched, especially while doing retail therapy. It’s the sexiest thing ever. In fact, if you’re asking a woman how much she’s saved, don’t forget to tell her how much you’ve saved too. Just in case she feels like robbing you.

Don’t you think you have too many wigs?

Yes, because women love being told they can’t have more of something they really like. Ask the question, and she just might use whatever hair is left on your head for her next wig.

RELATED: 8 Nigerian Women on Things They Wish They Could Ask Their Ex

Itohan Esekheigbe

October 24, 2022

Her

Her, Nigerian women, Questions, Women
Your score on this quiz will tell how good you were in ‘Government’ in secondary school. If you know the meaning of referendum, you will do well.

Go on:

Prisca

January 29, 2022

I Too Sabi, Quizzes

government, JAMB, Questions
The other day, Nigerian women spoke about the hardest part of dating Nigerian men. This was in response to a post about Nigerian men being scared to raise up issues in their relationships. It seems like there’s a huge disconnect between men and women. To address this, I gathered a few men who said they have questions for women that they need to be clarified. The aim is to bridge the communication gap and ultimately, lead to more wholesome experiences for both parties.

Here are a few questions Nigerian men desperately needs answers to:

1) Why do women feel that men will call them naggers?

“My gf told me that the reason she doesn’t complain about stuff is so she doesn’t come off as nagging. Why does she feel this way?”

2) Why don’t women communicate how they feel?

“A Nigerian woman would rather die than tell you how she really feels about you. Why?”

3) Why do women forget so easily?

“You can do one million things for a babe and when she’s angry, it all goes out of the window. Next thing “do you love me?” Why don’t they remember things we did in the past?

4) Why do women like attention?

“Why?”

5) Is it a bad thing to not want to share my problems?

“I don’t like light and love, is it bad to not want to share a problem, especially if I know it’s love and light you’ll give me?”

6) Why do women pretend not to like something but complain once you stop?

“You’ll be toasting babe and blowing up her phone everyday. She’ll say she doesn’t like it. Enter relationship and stop that texting frenzy[because she said she hates it], next thing you’ll hear is that you don’t do the things you used to when you were chasing me again. But, madam, you said I was disturbing you. Ahan. Why?”

7) Why do women say men don’t listen?

“It’s funny women say we don’t hear word when I feel the exact same way. On one hand, It feels like women want to be loved in a particular kind of way. On the other hand, it also feels like women want men to be loved in a way they [women] dictate and not the way we [men] want. For example, I accept I should be happy on your birthday, but why is it compulsory to be happy on mine? [especially if it’s not my thing] Don’t I have a choice? So, why do they say men don’t listen? Or is it only when we don’t do what they want?”

8) Why do women always say men are selfish?

“I actually want to know why women say men only care about themselves. It’s unfair because men and women have different outlook on life, safety nets, and incentives. This means that men approach things differently. I think there’s a miscommunication somewhere when they label some form of self-preservation as selfishness.”

9) Why do women always drag 30+ men?

“It just seems like women don’t want to compromise. They want stability with a mixture of bad boy. Pls, why do they always drag we that enjoy routine and stability? Is it every time excitement?”

Men and women, share your thoughts with us. Let us know what you think.

Hassan Yahaya

August 5, 2020

Inside Life

Men, Nigeria, Questions, Women
Last year, I tagged along with my sister and her then-fiancé (now husband) the day they of their pre-wedding photoshoot. Watching the makeup artist work magic on my sister’s face with her Newt Scamander-style box of makeup tools piqued my interest. I had questions I wanted answers to but said nothing out of fear of being laughed at. (My sister is kinda the worst.) So I’m asking those questions here.

I’m just a curious man looking to learn. I implore thee, drag me not.

1) How much lipstick do you guys accidentally consume daily?

Because a girl’s gotta eat at some point during the day, am I right? How do y’all do it? It’s even more terrifying because I once spotted a girl at a restaurant reapplying her lipstick after a meal, implying that most of the previous coat had gone down with whatever she’d eaten. So it’s like, is this a fate y’all have resigned yourselves to? Do you just ingest this stuff? Is it edible?

Can…can I eat it?

2) What do you do when it’s really hot and you desperately want to wipe the sweat off your face but can’t for fear of wiping off your foundation in the process?

Also, does the sweat just start slowly seeping through cracks in the foundation like a leaking dam wall? If you sweat long enough, will it wash everything away? I imagine that it’s a lot like feeling an itch but not being able to scratch it.

That’s some torture shit right there.

3) How are you guys not terrified of mistakenly stabbing yourselves in the eye with the mascara and eyeliner applicators?

Looking at the applicator in the image above reminded of the panic attack I had the day I watched a shit ton of blood flow down my friend’s face because she mistakenly cut herself above the eye while doing her own brows.

4) Have you no fear of accidentally glueing your eyelids together when fixing fake lashes?

Because I once had glue come in contact with my eye once and it’s the second most painful/terrifying thing I’ve ever experienced. The first most painful thing was when I caught the tip of my erect penis in my zipper.

That’s a story for another day.

5) What exactly is the point of blush?

I truly don’t get it. Why would anybody want their cheeks orange all the time?

Astor George

July 22, 2019

Inside Life

Girls, Guys, makeup, Questions
1. “Don’t you have your own house?”

See wahala.
2. “What are you going to do there?”

Armed robbery. What will I be going to do there before?
3. “Can’t they visit you?”

They have visited me. Oya?
4. “How many times have they come here?”

Chineke!
5. “Do we know them?”

What is it?
6. “Where do they stay?”

Why? Do you want to rent?
7. “Are they in your school?”

Jisos! Can I go already?
8. “What are they studying?”

You want to pay their school fees?
9. “Who are their parents?”

My God!
10. “Where are they from?”

Earth, I think.
11. “What do their parents do?”

Mummy oh!
12. “Are they born again?”

Am I Jesus?
13. “Which church do they attend?”

Na wa.

Daniel Orubo

April 14, 2016

Oldies

african, Friend, Nigerian, Parents, Questions, visit
Yesterday, Rihanna posted a picture on her Twitter apparently listening to her eagerly-awaited album ANTI.

listening to ANTI 🎈 pic.twitter.com/AgqlhU0GEz
— Rihanna (@rihanna) January 25, 2016

We promise we’re not throwing shade but Rihanna looks like she has questions…

1. Why doesn’t Rihanna look impressed? Did the album not tap?

2. Is she asking herself if she should have asked Adele to feature on one track?

3. Or maybe she’s asking herself if she was truly invited to Toolz’s wedding.

4. Perhaps she’s asking herself if she can get into the headphone business and clean out like Dr Dre.

5. Maybe, just maybe, she’s asking herself how her Nigerian fans will afford her album at N300 to the Dollar.

6. Could Donald Trump actually become the President of America?”. If so, will she be deported?

7. Or could she be wondering if Arsene Wenger will EVER buy a striker?

8. It’s possible she’s wondering if Lil’ Kesh should actually have won the Next Rated award at the Headies.

9. Or could it be that she’s wondering if she got some of Dasuki’s money by mistake?

Whatever it is sha, we’re eagerly awaiting this album. Hopefully, it’s amazing.

So what do you think Rihanna is asking herself in this picture?

Damilola

January 27, 2016

Gist

Anti, dasuki, headies, Lil Kesh, Nigeria, okupe, Olamide, Questions, Rihanna, rihanna album
Or not.

When you’re on that first date.

And there’s that awkward silence.

Because none of you knows what to say.

Don’t worry, we got you! These are 22 questions that can fill that silence:

1. Which power ranger speaks to you most spiritually?

2. Do you think cats have any regrets?

3. How long are you willing to sit in agony rather than stand up and get an out-of-reach remote?

4. What’s the longest you’ve left dropped food on the floor for before picking it up and eating it?

5. How many murders have you witnessed?

6. How many days do you wear the same pants in a row before it becomes, like, a problem?

7. How many donuts can you fit in your mouth at once?

8. How quickly would you leave me for Chris Hemsworth?

9. Have you ever been, like, sexually attracted to a piece of fruit?

10. How many times a day do you wish you could just set yourself on fire?

11. How many seconds into the first movie theatre preview do you finish your bucket of popcorn?

12. When is the last time you clogged a toilet and just left it for someone else to deal with?

13. Which room in Hogwarts would you most wanna have sex in?

14. How big do you think Thor’s penis is, just like, scientifically speaking?

15. Can I trust you to never pressure me into faving one of your tweets? Ever. Like, not even if we get married?

16. Do you put the toilet paper roll on the right way or the murderer way?

17. Have you ever shit so hard you had to lie down after?

18. How many times have you tried communicating telepathically with a dog just to see if you could?

19. Would you literally have sex with a minion?

20. What do you think Shrek meat tastes like?

21. Which body part of yours is the friendliest?

22. Beyonce or I kill you?

If you ask any one these questions, you obviously don’t want a second date. If you REALLY don’t want a second date, you can get more questions here.

Good luck!

Odunayo

August 18, 2015

Inside Life, Oldies

Awkward, Awkward Questions, First Date, Questions, sponsored