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porn | Zikoko!

Sex Life is an anonymous Zikoko weekly series that explores the pleasures, frustrations and excitement of sex in the lives of Nigerians.

The subject of today’s Sex Life is a 25-year-old heterosexual woman who talks to us about how she decided not to wait till her wedding night to have sex, her desire to dominate a man, and all things she enjoys that she blames porn for.

What was your first sexual experience?

I wouldn’t say that this was a sexual experience but it’s a good place to start this story. It was the first day I saw porn. I spent that day in a police station.

I’m sorry, what?

I was about 13 at the time and my brother had just gotten a laptop and he had found hentai – anime porn – online and showed it to me. I’d seen random clips here and there before but this was the first time I was getting to see an actual video.

My father caught us watching this and he absolutely lost it. He made us pack our boxes and took us to the police station close to our house. I remember feeling so bad and having so much shame. We ended up coming back home around 11 pm that day but it was such a weird experience.

So did this keep you off porn?

Till my late teens. When I was getting into uni I was finally looking for porn by myself. Searching categories and all that. It’s what helped a bit when I decided I wanted to have sex for the first time.

Oh yes, so how did that go?

I was 17 the first time I had sex. I was in the U.S. for university and had started dating this guy that I liked. We lived in a co-ed dorm and after my roommate moved out in my second year, we basically started living together.

I didn’t plan on having sex till my wedding night.

What changed?

Before we had sex, my boyfriend and I would usually make out. One day, he put his finger in me, and it was the most excruciating pain I’d ever felt. I had to think very hard about my decision to wait because I wondered what a penis would do to me if a finger could do that. I thought about how sad it would make my wedding night, so I decided to get all the unpleasantness out of the way early.

And how did your first time go?

As I imagined. Painful as hell. I wondered if I would need to have my hymen surgically removed or something.

Eish, sorry. But did it get better?

Oh, it got a lot better. We had more sex, and I started to try more things with him. I watched more porn and discovered the stuff I liked or wanted to try. From degradation during sex to craving sex in public places. I think the most insane thing we wanted to try at the time was to go to the centre of the school’s football field and have sex there. We never got to do that though. We settled for having sex in his car in the school’s parking lot.

I had to move to another state and change schools after about a year so we broke up.

What was your sex life like in this new city?

I lived with some family members in that city. I was meeting people, but I wasn’t in a co-ed dorm anymore. Sex in class became a thing for me with one guy I was seeing. We were doing that for a while until one day when he asked me to give him head and his penis stank to high heavens. He was uncircumcised, and I think he hadn’t washed well. I got one whiff of it and backed the hell away. We eventually settled on a handjob. But can you believe that after this man came, he just packed his things and left?

The audacity.

That was the last time I saw him sha. Another interesting fellow I had sex with was this white guy I met through some mutual friends. I didn’t particularly find him attractive, but he was persistent and we planned to see a movie at his. I told him straight up that we were not going to have sex, and he was fine with that. Then we settled in to watch our movie. Guess what I chose for us to watch…

I feel like I’m not going to get it.

Dear White People.

Oh God.

Yes, yes. It was hilarious.

Anyway, we did end up having sex but the night ended up having a bit of a snag because at some point the condom got lost, and we had to stop and look around for it. We checked the bed and everywhere around. Turned out it was inside me. I don’t know if the condoms were too big, but yeah, that didn’t help the mood for the rest of that night.

Not a lot of exciting things happened with sex in that time. After a while, I had to return to Nigeria to complete uni and during my final year, I met a sugar daddy.

Where did you meet him?

Lol. I met this one at a club when I was with some friends. Honestly, I hesitate to call him a sugar daddy because of how selfish he was. But he falls under the group of men I slept with not because I liked them, but I just knew that when we saw or had sex, I’d get some money from them but not a lot.

Things were going okay with this guy until we had sex one day and for some reason, this time was without condoms. I’d never had someone cum in me, so I never thought to ask if he had when we were done.

A month later, I noticed my breasts were increasing and I hadn’t seen my period. I remember sitting with my friend and doing the first test. It was positive and I was crying. My friend told me to do another one (we bought many) and it was the same thing.

I didn’t get an abortion till it was well into the third month, and that was the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life.

So sorry about that.

Thanks. It’s been some time since then. I didn’t see him again after the abortion. He was clearly a very irresponsible person.

Once I was done with uni, I started focusing on having casual sex with people I liked. I also started to try some things that I genuinely blame porn for.

Blame porn? How?

You know how you watch something and you think you might like that? Yeah, I tried a couple of these things, and now I’m going to list the ones that worked in real life and the ones that didn’t.

*opens note* I’m all ears.

I was watching lesbian porn when I figured, oh, I might like this. Then I actually tried it.

I was with this girl, and we were both drunk and I played with her clit and sucked her breasts, but when it was time to actually do anything that involved her vagina, I was suddenly not sure I wanted to. So that was the last time I tried that.

Then golden showers…

Like getting peed on?

Yeah, but not all over you like in porn. I no get mind like that yet. I asked him to pee on my leg. The entire time I didn’t quite get what was pleasurable about that, so I don’t think I’ll be trying the full thing anytime soon.

Orgies were on my list of things to try before but I don’t even know how the mechanics of that would work. I am not currently thinking too hard about it.

Then there’s this thing where I know I’m a sub but I really really want to try being a dom.

[newsletter]

How did you find out you were a sub?

I can’t say for sure that I know when I discovered I was a submissive, but as far back as my first boyfriend, I really enjoyed degradation. Every single derogatory word you could think of. I like them. I enjoy being whipped and gagged and slapped. I may blame porn here too as well. Of course, I gravitated towards more submissive themes in the videos, and as I encountered new things, I found more stuff that I liked.

Point is, now I want to dom a man.

How come you haven’t?

I’ve not found a willing man o. Help me tell your people.

LMAO, no wahala. How would you rate your sex life over 10?

I’d say 7/10. It’s satisfactory. I have a couple of people that I have sex with from time to time, but my libido is not what it used to be anymore. When I was younger and just getting the hang of sex, I used to be horny 24/7. Now I only get horny when ovulation comes around.

Edwin Madu

November 6, 2021

Sex Life, Ships

degradation, domintarix, porn, sex life, submissive
There’s probably nothing worse than accidentally sending porn to your church group chat when you meant to send it to your freaky partner. Lucky for you, it’s not the end of the world. You can still redeem yourself if you act fast. Here are a couple of things you can do to safe face.

1. Quickly send “Come and see what the world is turning to”

Switch it up on them. Make it a moral lesson. They won’t see it coming.

2. Pack your load, move to Cotonou and change your name

Nobody can find you. You can open a small shop and be selling provisions to support your new life.

3. Say you were hacked

These hackers are becoming more advanced by the day. God safe us.

4. Deny it to the death

Deny it, even in the face of the evidence. Even if they print it for you, just keep denying. “Me? Porn? Never.”

5. Immediately begin a sex education class

Make it a teachable moment. Let your pastor learn one or two things.

6. Fake your death

Dead body no dey shame.

7. Own it with your chest

Ansofokwot? Nobody holy pass. Na porn I send, I no kill person.

Do you know what you should read next? This: 5 Occasions When It Feels Like Time Stands Still

Olufemi Fadahunsi

August 14, 2020

Inside Life

group chat, porn, Sex
A lot of men were first introduced to sex via pornography. Many of the depictions are either unreal or downright painful. And sometimes, a failure to achieve some of these “sexual feats” leaves many men feeling inadequate.

In a bid to make men’s sexual relationships more fulfilling, and by extension make sex enjoyable for their partners, I spoke to a couple of Nigerian women. Here are some of the things men copy from porn that women say are unrealistic/unnecessary:

1) Softly softly please.

“The acrobatics women do in porn are not feasible in reality. Please, don’t break my leg and neck. God no go shame us. One time, I had a muscle pull during sex and you know what? Never again. But for that one, after all the shouting, we still continued.”

2) Stop expecting moans.

“Moaning is not a default activity. Moan when it’s good. Those idiots in porn open the door and start moaning. No be so e take be. Moaning should be a communication tool, not a default something. Use it as feedback. Besides, not everyone is comfortable with making noises during sex.”

3) Do your best and leave the rest.

“Stop trying to make me squirt. It’s not everyone that has that ability. Besides, I found out that porn stars put a pipe down there that releases the stream. Pls and pls.”

4) PSA:

“One thing that is universal for every man, even one that has “mastered your body” is that they tend to change the rhythm (slamming and going faster) than they should because the partner seems to be enjoying it.

Friendly advice: Just maintain the pace.”

5) Please, jot this down.

“Men want the ass to clap and flap. It’s aesthetics. Just because female pornstars perform the ass clapping and waist whining while having sex, it doesn’t mean we can just do it too. Some man will just expect your waist to start whining in a doggy position forgetting that there’s work to be done by both parties.”

6) Extremely important.

“Except for women that enjoy rough sex, smacking the butt and yanking her head out will only cause her to use a strong painkiller.”

7) Oh. Wow.

“Porn because of how short it is skips foreplay. Also, the pornstars are on drugs. So, your partner just kisses neck and shoulders and bam off pant, and do the doggy. Whereas the woman needs a breast massage, kisses in a hundred places, fingering, oral stimulation before the actual penetration. Foreplay can be a whole 40mins.”

8) Have you heard?

“You can’t just bring out your dick in the middle of sex and want to try anal. No proper conversation, just trying to surprise me. Ahan.”

9) Real life is different from porn.

“Men assume all women love swallowing cum. From my perspective, I definitely do not. It’s salty and weird tasting and leaves a metallic taste in my mouth that I could do without. I’ve heard some other women say the same.”

10) Fellas, listen.

“Slow Circular motions on the clitoris, don’t flicker like its a light bulb switch.”

Hassan Yahaya

July 23, 2020

Inside Life, Sex Life

Men, porn, Sex, Women
Sex Life is an anonymous Zikoko weekly series that explores the pleasures, frustrations and excitement of sex in the lives of Nigerians.

The subject of today’s Sex Life is a 27-year-old gay man who has been making porn for the past two years. He talks about earning six figures a month, navigating Nigeria’s homophobic laws and how the pandemic has affected his business.

What was your first sexual experience?

I had my first real experience when I was 18. Growing up, I always knew I liked boys, but I didn’t actually understand what I was feeling. For the longest time, I assumed I was the only one in the world who was drawn to people of the same sex. I was sure I had a problem.

Granted, when I was younger I fooled around with other boys, but I don’t really count those as sexual experiences — anyone could have done that. I even fooled around with a few girls. Since I didn’t really know what I was doing at the time, I don’t think those encounters matter.

Fair. So, what happened when you were 18?

I had just gotten into university and I was finally feeling like a man. I was taking a walk and a random guy tapped me on my shoulder and asked to talk to me. He was much older than me — probably in his early thirties.

I was apprehensive because I didn’t know him, but he said he just wanted to have a harmless conversation. I eventually agreed. I figured that since he was old enough to be my uncle, he must have meant well.

I went with him to a recreational park and while we were walking, he started telling me how cute I was. It felt nice to be complimented, so I thanked him. He didn’t stop there. He then said he loved me — barely an hour after meeting me.

WHAT?

Yup. I was so confused. Not just because this stranger was professing love to me, but because he was a man professing love to another man. I made my confusion very apparent to him, but he didn’t believe I was actually that clueless.

I was a slightly effeminate teenager, and I guess that’s why he assumed I was already aware of my sexuality. It took a lot of convincing, but he eventually believed that I really didn’t know what he was talking about.

All this time, we were walking deeper into the park. When we got to a more secluded area, he asked if I’d ever given a man head. I said no. He immediately whipped out his dick and asked me to try it. I was a bit taken aback, but I knew I wanted to do it. So, I did.

What happened next?

We exchanged numbers after I was done and got together a couple more times. Whenever we met up, we’d make out and give each other head, but we never had penetrative sex. That happened about a year later with an entirely different person.

How was that experience?

I’d actually rather not talk about it. The experience was traumatic for me.

That’s ok. So, what’s your sex life like these days?

Lmao. This is a loaded question for me. I do porn, so it’s a two-way street. My work IS my sex life, but not the entirety of it. So, when you ask me about my sex life, my brain isn’t sure how to make the distinction.

Wait. Let me try. Shooting homemade porn makes up the better part of my sexual encounters. So, whenever I get horny, I immediately think about shooting another video. Having sex just for the sake of sex now feels like a waste of time and money.

That’s not to say it doesn’t happen. Sometimes, if I really like someone, I’ll have sex with them without turning it into a video. It’s very rare, though. These days, I even reject advances from people that don’t seem like they’d be down to make a video.

Oh wow. How long have you been in porn?

Almost two years now.

What made you decide to start?

When I found the porn side of Twitter and saw people from all over the world expressing themselves sexually, I was inspired. I’ve always loved attention, so I decided to get some. I first started off by posting nudes. The reaction was nice but limited.

Then one day, I was having sex with a friend and he suggested we make a video. We did and I posted it on Twitter. The reaction was great — lots of views, likes and comments — and I got really excited. That’s how I started making more videos and it took off from there.

Did you always plan to make money from it?

Nah. It was initially just for fun. I liked the attention and the fact that people were hitting me up for sex. It wasn’t until a little later, when I noticed just how much attention I was getting, that I started looking at it as a potential business opportunity.

How did that go?

It was a struggle. I tried selling my videos to various porn sites, but that didn’t work. Then I tried using OnlyFans and that didn’t work either. I almost gave up at some point, but I enjoyed making porn too much to stop.

So, I just decided to focus on growing my fanbase on Twitter instead. Then a few months later, a friend who knew I was struggling to monetize told me to try a platform called SubscribePlace. I did and it was a perfect fit. That’s the site I’ve been using ever since.

Wait. How big is your Twitter fanbase?

I have over 30,000 followers from all around the world. People seem to really love homemade porn.

Damn. How much do you make from subscriptions in a good month?

I make around six figures.

Impressive. Is it hard to find people to be in videos with you?

It’s not hard, but it’s tricky. There are a lot of people in my DMs asking to be in videos with me, but considering just how dangerous Nigeria is for queer people, I always have to be very cautious about who I agree to meet up with.

Whenever someone DMs me and I’m interested, I do a ton of research on them before I decide to make a video. So, it’s not hard to find people at all, it’s just hard to decide which of the many options available can be trusted.

What else do you do to stay safe?

First of all, I wear a mask in all my videos — concealing my identity is the most important thing. I also never shoot videos in my house; I always use hotels. I wouldn’t want someone to recognise my place and call the police or something.

How do you typically shoot a video?

All I really need is my phone, my tripod and my scene partner (or partners). However, there are times I need an extra hand to help provide more angles, and I get someone I trust to shoot. That is rare though. I usually just handle it myself.

How long does a regular shoot last?

About 3 to 4 hours for an hour-long video. So, my shoots are typically overnight — to allow for breaks.

Smart. Has anyone ever offered to pay you for sex?

I actually have a side gig that covers that. I’m also a massage therapist, and I give clients happy endings (concluding the massage with a handjob) if they request it and are willing to pay more. So, you see why I said my work life is almost the entirety of my sex life.

Yeah. Have you been in a serious relationship since you started?

No, I haven’t.

You don’t want to?

I’m actually very open to being in a serious relationship, but the person has to fully accept what I do. As you can imagine, that’s very hard to come by. So, until I can find someone like that, I’m more than happy staying single.

How would you say making porn has changed the way you think about sex?

It hasn’t changed much. Whether there is a camera or not, sex is still sex to me. I still have to feel connected to the person to enjoy it. The only major difference now is that I’m rarely interested in doing it if it’s not going to bring money into my account.

How has the coronavirus pandemic affected all of this?

It’s been both good and bad for business. For the past two months, I’ve made a lot more money than I used to make. That’s been particularly surprising because I’ve haven’t been able to post as much content.

For all of April and the better part of March, I didn’t post one new video, but I got new subscribers. I guess the old videos are still doing their work. But, I’m not sure how long that will last. I’ve already lost a few subscribers who got tired of waiting for new content.

That sucks. Before the pandemic, how often were you making videos?

About 3 to 4 times a month. I just hope this ends soon, so I can get back to it.

How would you rate your sex life on a scale of 1 to 10?

I’ll give it a 10.

Oh wow. We rarely get 10s.

I mean, I make money off of doing something I love. What could be better?

Check back every Saturday by 12pm for new stories in the Sex Life series. If you would like to get this story in your mail before everyone else — complete with inside gist that doesn’t make the final cut, sign up here. Catch up on older stories here.

NerdEfiko

May 16, 2020

Sex Life

gay, porn, sex life
With masturbation seemingly at an all-time high due to the Coronavirus pandemic, we decided to find out the kind of porn Nigerians are watching to help get themselves off during these stressful times.

So, we asked 7 Nigerians to summarise their porn history for us — from the first one they ever watched to what they’re into at the moment — and the answers were quite interesting.

Tayo, 28/Male/Straight

I was 12 the first time I watched porn. It was at a classmate’s house, with about 6 other boys. It was actually pretty exciting at first, but I had to run out of the room when my boner got too intense. I was also scared that we would get caught.

My porn tastes haven’t really changed much over the years. I typically watch white porn with thick women, but when I’m bored I try other stuff. I’ve tried gay porn, but I couldn’t get into it. I also had a trans woman phase, where I’d look for the ones with huge dicks.

In the past 4 years or so, I’ve really been into stepmom and stepson porn. I think I’m either drawn to the forbidden nature of it, the perceived age difference, or both. When I was a teenager, I fantasised about being with a mature woman on the low.

Maryam, 24/Female/Straight

I think I was about 16 or 17 the first time I ever watched porn, and I was utterly appalled by it. I was a virgin at the time and I’d been raised to think it was wrong. I even remember storming out of a room when they started playing it.

All that has changed. I’m now a lot more liberal, and my tastes show that. I love gay porn. The men have a lot of passion and they are much better actors than the people in straight porn. I also have a love-hate relationship with hentai (anime porn) — it’s simultaneously sexy and sexist.

Bayo 25/Male/Gay

I was 14 the first time I watched porn, and my tastes have been pretty consistent since then. More than anything, I need my porn to have a good storyline. I hate when it’s only been a few seconds and everyone is already naked. I need context. I need a backstory.

Even though the acting is usually very terrible, I can still appreciate the effort of a relatively coherent story. That’s why I really like Twitter porn. Even though it’s never more than 2 minutes, the caption always gives you enough context to work with.

Ifeoma, 30/Female/Bisexual

I don’t actually remember the first time I ever watched porn. The first time I actively sought it out, however, I was about 20. It was so exhausting. I quickly figured out the things I didn’t like and didn’t want to see, but it took about a year to figure out what I did like.

Over the years, my porn tastes have evolved as my sex tastes have. I’ve recently gotten really into BDSM and pain, so my porn searches have mirrored that. For me porn acts as an amplifier — it turns me on the quickest when I want to masturbate.

It’s also a great way for me to experience things I know I have no interest in doing in real life, while also mirroring things I actually do like. For example, I have no interest in being part of a gang bang, but gangbang porn mirrors my desire to be “filled” during sex.

Ope 24/Male/Straight

I was 11 when I first found some of my uncle’s porn CDs. One had white people having sex on a boat, and the other one was beastiality porn. I had already seen my other uncle having sex when I was 7, so the first CD didn’t shock me. The other one, however, did.

Right now, I’m into a category called ghetto gaggers. It’s a bit racist — it shows white men treating black women like trash — but that’s not what turns me on. It’s the willingness of these women to consent to being treated like that. That just does something to me.

Sarah, 28/Female/Straight

I was 13 the first time I ever watched porn. I discovered my mother’s collection and was in complete shock. I ended up watching the entire thing in secret over the course of 3 months. It was a wide range, and it’s the reason I’ve seen basically every genre.

After that, the internet became more widespread and we got a home computer. At odd hours, I’d just go through different porn sites. Funny enough, I don’t think I ever watched anything that aroused me until I started having sex. It was mostly for fun.

I was addicted at some point, but it didn’t give me unrealistic expectations or affect my actual sex life; in fact, I learned how to do some things before I got to do them. And as for my preferred categories, I’m currently into monster porn because I like seeing women dominated.

Teni, 23/Female/Bisexual

I got introduced to lesbian porn when I was pretty young. I would use the family computer to watch beautiful women make out and pleasure each other. I wasn’t even sure why I liked it, but I eventually began trying what they were doing on myself and others.

After lesbian porn, I discovered BDSM and cuckolding. Then I somehow got into more weird stuff like incest porn and rape porn. I also discovered gay porn, which I love. There’s just something really beautiful about watching men make love.

Recently, I have found that I can only watch lesbian porn. I just got out of a two-year relationship that I was very invested in. He cheated on me, and I had to end things. Since then, I’ve found it very hard to watch heterosexual sex or even think about it.

If you would like to read more Sex Life stories, you can click right here.

NerdEfiko

April 8, 2020

Inside Life, Sex Life

Nigerians, porn, sex life
self-isolation porn

We’ve suggested a ton of stuff you can do to keep yourself entertained during this self-isolation period. But there’s one super obvious thing a lot of people consume that we haven’t mentioned or discussed.

Porn.

Abeg (3x). If all of you reading this are making that face, where are Pornhub’s Nigerian statistics coming from? Ehn? Don’t gimme that stuff. We’re the only ones here and I will not shame you. Au contraire, I’m here to provide you with a list of porn titles that have helped me get through the gloom of self-isolation by reminding me of simpler times. Times when two or more people could just casually get together and do stuff with each other. Sit back and relax because you’re in for a treat.

1) 2 Female College Freshmen Meet Up In A Dorm Room To…Watch Movies All Night Long.

“Oh, yeah. That’s the stuff.”

2) Two Men…One Handshake

“You see that handshake?? Only black men have…handshakes that firm. Ugh!”

3) Petite Asian Woman Touches And Plays With Her Pretty Pink…Face With Reckless Abandon

“You missed a spot. The right side of your forehead. Yes, baby!”

4) 5 Guys And 2 Girls Come Together To Make Sweet…Memories By Taking Numerous Group Photos.

“Could you guys stand a little bit closer to each other so everyone’s in the frame? Fuck yeah. That’s a good position!”

5) Muscle Man Does Solo…Shopping Errand In A Fully-Stocked Supermarket With Moderately-Priced Goods.

“Wait. Your sardines are STILL N200 each?? SHIT! MOVE OUT OF THE WAY BECAUSE I’M COMING…to the checkout counter with 10 tins!”

6) Boss Calls His White Blonde Personal Assistant Into His Office And Requests To See Her…Notes Taken During The Company-Wide Meeting That Took Place Yesterday.

“You know what I want. Show me those notes, baby.”

7) Black Guy, Who’s Just Meeting His Stepsister For The First Time, Gives Her His Big…gest Hug And Just That Because He Now Has The Sister He’s Always Wanted.

“Can you rub her back and wiggle a little bit so it kinda looks like y’all are dry-humping? Perfect!”

8) Guy and Girl Meet Up For A Quickie…Coffee Date At A Crowded Cafe During Their Lunch Break.

“Nothing gets my juices flowing like doing it (drinking coffee) in a public place.”

Go forth and enjoy, you whore.

What’s up, Zikoko Fam? It would mean the world to us if you spared a few minutes to fill this Reader Survey. It’s so we can bring you the content you really want!

Astor George

April 7, 2020

Inside Life

porn