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poison | Zikoko!
  • 11 Ways To Know Your Food Has Been Poisoned

    Your parents definitely warned you about eating in places you aren’t sure of, but did you listen? Anyway, we are here to continue the work your parents started, and we hope you listen this time before you go and eat food that they have poisoned. 

    1. The food is too sweet.

    Any meal you eat that’s too sweet and seems like it has been prepared by a top chef has most likely been poisoned. They made the food too sweet so you won’t taste the poison and know about their deadly plan. Abort mission after eating one bite. 

    2. The food is not sweet.

    Anyone who cooks food for you that is not sweet clearly hates you. The effort into poisoning you was so minimal. You need to throw the food away and report the person to the police immediately.

    3. The waiter served the food with a smile on their face.

    Your first question should be, “Why does this waiter enjoy their job so much that they are smiling?” Any waiter that’s too friendly is working with the restaurant to give their customers poisoned food. 

    4. The waiter didn’t serve the food with a smile on their face.

    Once the waiter is frowning, you should already know the waiter hates their job and their life, now imagine how the cook feels? They are probably even more stressed out and won’t hesitate to add a few drops of poison to customers’ food. 

    5. The food is expensive.

    These ones are disguising o! They don’t want you to know you are using your money to buy something made to harm you so they kuku made it expensive. 

    6. The food is cheap.

    Prices of foodstuffs have gone up, so why is a restaurant selling food so cheap if they aren’t using their customers for money rituals? You sef, fink about it. It’s sus and they should be reported to EFCC, NDLEA and NAFDAC.

    7. They served the food in fine china.

    They only served you in fine china, so you won’t know the evil they are plotting. We have to give these ones extra credit because they tried. They want to take you out in style. A for effort!  

    8. They served the food in ugly plates.

    Isn’t this obvious? They are serving you with a plate that’s not fit for kings and queens because they hate you.

    9. The food is plenty.

    This meal and the delicious meal are in the same group chat. Whoever serves you a lot of food wants to effortlessly show you pepper. They either want you to deal with indigestion or have food poisoning. Reject that meal today. 

    10. The food is not plenty.

    Imagine how potent the poison has to be for them to serve you such a small portion of food. Everyone involved in the production of that meal should be handed over to the police smh.

    11. The food was cooked by someone you don’t know.

    It is never wise to eat a meal cooked by someone you don’t know. They could have poisoned you because of something you did 10 years ago and do not remember. 

    Maybe you should cook your own food yourself and stop doing ojukokoro all over the place smh! 

  • This One Is For Everyone Who Is Addicted To Soft Drinks

    Things are happening in this our Nigeria

    It appears that the Nigerian Bottling Company (manufacturers of Fanta, Sprite and Coca-cola in Nigeria) have been doing us plenty wayo

    Apparently locally produced Sprite and Fanta are actually poisonous when taken with Vitamin C

    And the soft drinks contain dangerous levels of benzoic acid and sunset additives

    One Mr Fijabi attempted to ship large quantities of soft Fanta and Sprite to the United Kingdom in 2007, but they were declared unfit for consumption by health authorities in the Department of Environment and Economic Directorate because of a high level of cancer-causing substances. The goods were destroyed and Mr Fijabi sued NBC  for damages in 2008.

    But NBC says their product is fit for ‘local consumption’

    So we should be ingesting poison because we are not Oyinbo?

    In a court ruling on Monday,13th March, a Federal High Court Judge said the soft drinks should be fit for consumption by anyone irrespective of race or creed. She also ruled that:

    That NAFDAC shall forthwith mandate Nigeria bottling company to, within 90 days hereof, include on all the bottles of Fanta and Sprite soft drinks manufactured by the company, a written warning that the content of the said bottles of Fanta and Sprite soft drinks cannot be taken with Vitamin C as same becomes poisonous if taken with Vitamin C.Justice Adedayo Oyebanji

    People are asking why the coloring is so different

    What of people that can’t use drugs without adding one bottle of Fanta?

    Are we not finished like this?

    As for NAFDAC, we have one thing to say to you

    Stop selling our souls to the devil!