What is fear, if not the beginning of wisdom? The following phobias are not necessarily things that can be aptly explained away in an Oxford dictionary.

They are fears that sleep and wake with many Nigerians and Africans at large. Life should not be this hard, but it is what it is.

1. Castophobia

What does it mean to “cast?” You can see it as losing face before others, especially those you want to have a favourable opinion of you. e.g that fine guy or girl you’ve had the longest crush on. The fear of casting or being casted makes many people cautious of who they tell stuff to or their actions.

2. In-law phobia

Bruh, don’t blame some people who have made up their mind not to get married. The fear of in-laws from the out of hell alone can stop you in your tracks mid-proposal. If you have in-laws who do not cause you chest pain, then you don’t know what the lord has done for you.

3. Sapaphobia

Sapa doesn’t just choke, it hooks till you begin to wonder if you are not God’s could anymore. It is this fear of being broke that keeps many people showing up at jobs they absolutely hate. Nice one, sapa.

4. Airophobia

This is the fear of being ignored a.k.a “aired dfkm”. It is why many people do not shoot shots or send messages in certain group chats. How will they ignore you if you kuku face front? Toh. The principle of speak only when spoken to can help reduce this fear.

5. Enemyphobia

My dear brothers and sisters, this is the fear of village people who do not want you to shine – principalities and powers. The average African has a deep seated fear of enemies somewhere – mother or father’s side. Call it superstition if you will, but watch your back.

6. Parentophobia

This is the age-old fear of being seen as a family disgrace. When you want to do things like dying your hair purple or wear crazy jeans, it is this fear that might keep you in check. After all the investment they’ve invested, this is how you want to repay your parents? Shivers.