Pet owners | Zikoko!

Here’s 8 Ways You Can Nigerianise Your Pet

Since your pet is your child, you need to help them stay in touch with their Nigerian roots. From food to clothes, here’s how to remind your pets that they are foundational Nigerians.

1) Give them a traditional name

Gone are the days were you name your pets Jack, Bingo, Ebenezer, Maximum protection, and other such names. Now is the time for them to embrace their true roots. A cat that is named Chukwudi or Osas will never forget where it’s from.

2) Talk to them in your native language

Your pets should be able to speak at least one native language before you introduce them to English. By the time you want to introduce English to your goat, it should be bleating in Hausa or Esan.

RELATED: Goats Are Better Pets Than Dogs or Cats. We Can Explain

3) Feed them native foods

What is good for the parent is good for the child. How can you be clearing pounded yam and egusi while your pets eat food from a can? If they served you canned food all the time, will you like it? Better prepare some nice oha soup for your pets, let them know the taste of authentic Nigerian cuisine.

4) Give them a traditional naming ceremony

Naming a child in Nigeria is a very big deal, so you have to name your pet properly. Gather all the materials needed for the ceremony and get someone to bless your pet. Maybe if you do this, your pets won’t be behaving like they have evil spirits living inside of them.

5) Remind them that they have just one head

Whenever your pets misbehave, remind them that the other pets that aren’t causing their parents stress have just one head. You didn’t kill your parents, your pet won’t kill you.

6) Send them on errands

The best way to show your pets Nigerian culture is to be a very Nigerian parent. Sometimes ask your dog to bring you the remote control or tell your ram to bring you cold water. It’s the little things.

RELATED: Here’s Why You Should Keep a Ram as a Pet

7) Buy them land

Once they have property in Nigeria, they are truly children of the soil. Whoever wants to contest their Nigerianness with you should speak to your lawyers.

8) Get them Nigerian passports

With the way the Nigerian humans are rejecting the passports, surely there’s enough for the pets of the country? With a Nigerian passport, they’re recognised both home and abroad.

RELATED: QUIZ: Which Passport Do You Actually Deserve?

Itohan Esekheigbe

April 3, 2022

Inside Life

Nigeria, Pet owners, pets
7 Reasons Why You Should Date a Cat Dad

Getting into a relationship with a cat dad is the best gift you can give yourself. Do you know what it means for a man to agree to commit to something that might live for 15 years? Someone who fully understands how to earn love? Come on, what’s not to love?

1. They will understand your mood swings

Cat dads understand when to give you space and when to give you attention. If you’ve had to deal with those furry crackheads, you’d mind your own business too.

2. They have a great sense of humour

Some of the funniest videos on the internet are videos of cats doing stupid things. This means that men who love cats appreciate those things and have a great sense of humour. A man that has a great sense of humour is also great in bed, according to Zikoko chapter 12 verse sex life. It’s just quick math.

3. They always have a clean space

Cats spend so much time grooming themselves that they’d eventually have to learn from his cat. Cat dads are more likely to have well-kept fingernails and a clean home than… let’s not bring big dogs to a catfight, sha.

4. He will show you off

One thing these guys will do is post pictures of their cats no one asked for. If you date him, all his followers and contacts will see an annoying amount of your pictures, but still not as many as those of his cat. Yes, your competition is a cat.

5. He won’t mind seeing your hair everywhere

Cats and women share one thing in common; dropping hair offerings for you everywhere. He is so used to dealing with cat hairs, this is the last thing he’ll ever complain about.

6. They are experts at reading body language

Cats do not show emotions as often as dogs do. If he can read a cat’s body language, he can read yours. Although we think you should just explain your feelings like an adult.

7. They are rich

This is the most important one because most cat dads are tech bros, and tech bros have money, and having money is a valid reason to date them. I said what I said.

[newsletter]

Malakai Bassey

January 17, 2022

Man Dem

Funny, Man dem, Pet owners, pets