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Never takes you or anything serious
Is always joking
Asks you “where did you put it?” when you say “I didn’t see my period”.
2. The Community Boyfriend
Always boasts of his abilities in bed.
Nobody knows who he’s really dating
Different girls keep claiming him.
3. The All Seeing Boyfrend
He can see everything
He only has to look at you to know what you need or want.
Best guy. He can even see when you are lying.
4. The Rich Boyfriend
He always brags about how much money he has to everybody.
Will take you shopping in Dubai.
Will give you monthly allowance if you’re his baby mama.
5. The Most Sought AFter Boyfriend
Everybody wants him.
His girlfriend is tired of seeing heart emojis on his Instagram page.
Too many women make him their MCM.
6. The Fruitful One Time Boyfriend
Swears he loves his girl.
Any girl he hangs out with, is in the maternity ward nine months later.
Nobody understands why or how.
7. The Happening Boyfriend
This guy is everywhere.
His girlfriend is always proud of him.
Every girl wants to be with him because he is very popular.
Only bad part is he likes to be petty on the internet.
8. The Lowkey Boyfriend
He is an alright guy.
Nobody cares about him.
His girlfriend is never worried about him cheating because other girls don’t think he is good enough.
9. The Faithful Boyfriend
He is attractive, girls throw themselves at him.
He is never involved in woman wahala.
He adores his baby mama, and flaunts her at intervals.
10. The Crazy Boyfriend
Girls that he has moved to think he acts strange a lot.
His girlfriend is afraid of him and he is unpredictable.
He could wake up and start ringing a bell for no reason.
11. The New Boyfriend
Is new to the dating scene.
His one and only relationship is a hit.
He keeps spoiling his girl with good gifts.
Other girls tell their boyfriends to be like him.
12. The Eligible Bachelor
Everyone knows he is single, but also feels he has a girlfriend.
Is always a groomsman
Refuses to comment on his relationship status.
Under G guy.
13. The Greedy Boyfriend
Has the best girlfriend in the world.
His girl is proud of him
Always asking God for more.
14. The Confused Boyfriend
Nobody understands this kind of guy.
He claims he has a girlfriend
Acts like he is a girlfriend sometimes.
15. The “It Was Only One Time”Boyfriend
Is always everywhere
Can sleep around if he wants
Believes it takes more than once to get a girl pregnant
16. The Annoying Boyfriend
Gives the best relationship advice
Lives on the internet
Will date you for 10 years
Going to a bank anywhere in Nigeria can be a very frustrating experience sometimes, but it can also be extremely amusing. The people you meet at any time can either make it worse or better for you.
1. The “ATM is not working” people
These ones are so quick to yell “ATM no dey work”. Brother nobody asked you.
2. The ones that want to enter the metal detector with you
No patience. No respect for personal space. These are the kind of people that will want to enter bathroom with you if they can.
3. The gateman that is very extra
“How is the week sir?”, “how is work?”, “can I clean your shoe for you?”, “let me help you hold your bag”. Brother calm down. Relax.
4. The pen borrowers
“Please can I borrow your pen”, “do you have an extra pen”. These are the ones that never took biros to an exam hall.
5. “Amatyour back please”
Nigerians never fail to do this. It’s like the rising of the sun. Just stay on the line yourself you won’t die now.
6. The impatient liars
“I was in front of you before you came”, “please my wife is in labor I need to cash this cheque quickly”. Are you serious right now sir?
7. The cashier that never has network
These ones are probably trying to bat their score on Solitaire or catching up on some gossip blog. They don’t even let you finish your question… “Please ma what is today’s dat..” “network is down”.
8. The ones that don’t know how to fill forms
These people are only pure stress. They will make you fill out about 10 different forms in the name of “I didn’t bring my glasses”. Please bring your glasses to the bank next time uncle.
9. The cashier that wants to give you N100 notes for a N10,000 withdrawal
Nothing as annoying as this happening. “we only have N100 notes” please keep it. It is me you want armed robbers to notice?
10. The oversabi customer service rep
These ones always go and ask their bosses for everything, have a company manual they consult before they do anything, and will ask you to bring your grandfather’s cap, the blood of an owl, Nnamdi Azikiwe’s NEPA bill and 10 other documents to collect your ATM. why?
11. The Fraudsters
“Please can you help me use this ATM card”, “I want to deposit money in your bank account and you will send it to me”. Not today Satan. Just run away.
12. The show offs
These ones walk into the bank and flash the cash so the N2,050 in your account begins to irritate you.
When you have your lunch break, the personalities at the buka and the food are always enough entertainment to make the day better. If you have ever stepped in a Buka or a restaurant in Nigeria, you will understand how spot on this is.
1. The Queue Jumpers
These ones always acting like they haven’t eaten since they were born, trying to skip the queue. Uncle please respect yourself. All those on the queue are we selling beans?
2. The Space Keeping Liars
These ones are born liars, they come and tell you “I was in your front before you came here”. Sorry oh Mr. Buka Chairman, please go and join the line at the back abeg.
3. The Indecisive Person
They spend thirty minutes queueing for food, and then get to the front and say, “ah I don’t even know what I want to eat”. Like excuse me, were you sleeping since?
4. The Ones That Never Have Change
They are coming to buy N10 food, and they come with N1000 note and get angry when there is no change. Buka not Central Bank sir.
5. The Loudspeaker
These ones are the loudest.No matter what you do you can hear them once they enter, thing is whatever they are saying doesn’t make sense, but you can hear every word.
6. The Romantic Couple
These are the ones that are always in one corner, feeding each other rice and beans and sharing shaki. Oshey Mr and Mrs Romantic, don’t let pepper enter your eyes oh.
7. Mr or Mrs Packaging
Their tagline is “Can I get some cutlery for this amala and ewedu/Pounded yam and egusi please?”. These ones can even ask for chopsticks for their tea. Will you die if you use your hand eh?
8. The Glutton
“Abeg give me Amala N300 and four goat meat”,
“Is that all?”
“I just dey start, put one roundabout, two shaki, one ponmo, and two cowleg, make e big well oh”.
Brother… take it easy.
9. The “Fisi” “Jara” and “add more” Person
No matter the amount of food they buy you will hear “you no go put fisi for me? See as my soup small”. Sir/Ma pay more if you want more now.
10. The Philanthropist
You will be lucky to have these sort of people when you go into your favorite restaurant. They usually pay for everybody’s meal. See answered prayers and manna from heaven.
11. The Angry Football Fans
Once they land in the buka, word cannot be heard. It’s either the Messi Vs Ronaldo argument or why Arsene Wenger is a failure. Please can we eat in peace *dodges mole of eba*.
12. The Never Satisfied Customer
These are the most difficult people on the planet. Seems they come to piss everyone off. “Aunty, this your vegetable soup no sweet like yesterday”, “your shaki today no soft like last week own”, “why is the washing hand water cold like this”. Please don’t be this person.
13. The Troublemaker
These ones are a special breed. They are always on the lookout trying to be offended. Can you just eat in peace.
14. The chilled person
This person is always in his/her own lane in a corner enjoying their food, earphones plugged in and minding their business. Please be this person.
If you have ever attended school in Nigeria, we are certain that you must have met all or some of these people at some point. Take a look.
1. The Party Promoter
They never stay in school and when they are in school they are wearing party shirts, with flyers and stickers talking about “how far, you dey show my party for Quilox?”
2. The Fashionista
They rate the “best dressed” award over anything else. Living and dressing up for class under the hot sun like its Lagos Fashion Week. Take it easy Sir/Ma
3. The Bookworm
These are the people whose parents used to ask them for the remaining two points when they got a 98 on a test. It is 5.0 or nothing. Getting a B is like cancer. What is a C?
4. The Drug Addict
These set of people are always under the influence of something. They spend time playing FIFA or writing lyrics dressed in the same type of attire.
5. The Big Plans Person
These ones have all the plans “When I graduate I’ll start working for Microsoft and buy a Ferrari”, “I’ll open my own clothing line and have stores in VI”. They haven’t done their homework though.
6. The Talkative
Every person on campus runs away from them. Just know it’s going to be a 10-hour gist session when they enter your room. Time wasters.
7. The Kleptomaniac
These people are magnets. They can steal anything from your underwear to your shirts and skirts or even your eyeballs if you’re not careful.
8. The Money Borrower
Their favorite tagline is “I need one huge favor” once you hear this. They are about to tell you how they need N15k to complete their school fees… Where do they do that at?
9. The Serial Cheater
Never reads for exams, but shows up to the hall first to select seats. You don’t want to seat beside them in an exam. “How far that number 1 – 4 theory and like 10 OBJ questions”.
10. The Jesus Disciple
These people can be a pain sometimes, they feel they are perfect. And you must be perfect, if not you are the devil.
11. The Library Addict
Their everyday typical conversations are cut short with: “I’m going to the library”, “I dey go jack”. They study more than the teachers actually.
12. The Seller
Aka lifesavers, they have everything for sale; sardines, milk, cold water, recharge cards, bathing soap, suya, cars, houses right there in the hostel. Just ask they have it.
13. The Photographer
In the classroom? Nah. Studying? Nope. Educational Activities? No. Photoshoot? Yes. They never leave their cameras and always emphasize they are photographers and the equipment they have.
14. The Students Rights Activist
They are the ones that fight for anything that comes up. No water in the morning, increased prices of textbooks/handouts, they almost always have their way.
Did we miss any other type of person? Let us know.
Going to a bank anywhere in Nigeria can be a very frustrating experience sometimes, but it can also be extremely amusing. The people you meet at any time can either make it worse or better for you.
When you have your lunch break, the personalities at the buka and the food are always enough entertainment to make the day better. If you have ever stepped in a Buka or a restaurant in Nigeria, you will understand how spot on this is.
If you have ever attended school in Nigeria, we are certain that you must have met all or some of these people at some point. Take a look.
