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pay day | Zikoko!
  • Yet another payday is always upon us and we can’t hide our excitement.

    We know it’s very hard, actually scratch that, it’s almost impossible for any of us to make our salaries last till payday. But we’ve got a few tricks up our sleeves that might just help you out.

    Always remember that there is rice at home.

    If you want to save money on food, the next time you drive past your favourite restaurant, just remember that there’s rice at home.

    Record all your expenses.

    Seriously, even the 200 naira you used to buy gala and lacasera in traffic, put it down somewhere. Review it at the end of the month so you can figure out where your excesses lie.

    Put some of your salary in a place you won’t be able to touch it.

    Decide on a percentage you want and keep that away every month. You know you are only deceiving yourself using a bank account you have an ATM card for, to save some of your salary.

    Just start saving the money right now.

    You can start with as little as 50 naira a day and go from there. Or the 100 naira you use to buy pure bliss in traffic every day, save it and go and eat rice at home.

    Enter your kitchen and cook.

    The 500 naira you are giving to Iya Bas everyday at lunch might not seem like much, but it adds up.

    Make a budget.

    Just using your mouth to say you won’t finish your salary doesn’t work, we know you know it from experience, so make a strict budget and stick to it.

    Don’t be shy to take advantage of discounts.

    Whether it’s Jumia Black Friday or Instagram giveaways, sign up for everything that’ll help you save your salary.

    Stop the impulse buying.

    You don’t need those shoes you saw on Instagram just because it’s half off, or that t-shirt you saw on Twitter that you’ll only wear once. Keep your money.

    It’s not by force to go out, not everyday 57.

    Don’t let all those friends whose middle names are Dangote drag you down. Sit in your house.

    Have any other tips or tricks you swear by? Share them with us now, don’t be stingy.

  • How A Bank Cashier Was Trying To Toast Me

    So one onigbese finally returned my money after all these days and I went to the bank to deposit it.

    Yassss! Pay day!!!

    But we know Nigerian banks are stressful, with their halls that are always looking like this…

    ‘No money’ ‘no money’, but you people will not stay in your house abi?

    I just jejely joined a queue as long as River Niger.

    I’m not liking this wahala at all o!

    After forever, it was finally my turn.

    Praise the Lord!

    That’s how one man just came from no where thinking he can chance me.

    Who is this unku please? Because you carry big money? Abeg join queue jare!

    The male cashier started answering him and just ignored me!

    Diaris God o!

    How the cashier looked at me when I gave him my 3k deposit…

    ‘What’s all this nonsense?’

    But money is money in this economy, so me sef I was like…

    Ehen? Kiloshele?!

    After giving me ela earlier, he now wanted to start forming conversation with me.

    After wasting my whole day? Oga just calculate my money lemme gerrarahia.

    How I smiled at him when I saw that he was a fine guy sha…

    See fresh fish!

    When I realized he wrote his phone number on my receipt…

    Ahn ahn, brother, because of ordinary smile?

    And I even saw a ring on that finger.

    Don’t kobalize me please.

    I just threw his number away and went to my house.

    Lemme go and sleep.