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  • 9 Things Nigerian Patients Do That Healthcare Professionals Will Never Understand

    If you work in healthcare in Nigeria, you are probably tired of all the rubbish that goes on. From the Government to workload and to lastly, the patients. Nigerian patients are some of the most interesting sets of people ever.

    Here’s a quote that summarises how you probably feel.

    Here is a list of the things patients do that healthcare workers can’t grasp.

    1) Complaining about symptoms and asking for specific drugs.

    Nigerian patients throwing slippers

    Why will you come in with your legs and ask for a specific drug talking about knowing your body and whatnot? So, is my degree and many years in school for show?

    2) Taking advice from everyone except their healthcare provider.

    “My friend who also had the same issue gave me the drug.”

    Obama Nigerian patients

    Is your friend certified or licensed? Nigerian patients, we hail thee.

    3) Antibiotics misuse.

    Tired man Nigerian patient

    If you use antibiotics for a boil, headache, unprotected sex, you are making the work unnecessarily hard for when you actually need antibiotics.

    4) Trying to beat up their healthcare provider.

    Sola Sobowale Nigerian patient

    If you are on this table, desist today. Everyone is a victim of the system and you should take out the anger on Government and systems instead.

    5) Accusing Hospital staff of theft.

    Nobody is trying to steal your money. Healthcare is expensive in this country. It is unfair accusing people who are sacrificing their sweat and blood of theft.

    6) Rushing at the Pharmacy.

    checking time impatient Nigerian patient

    Do you want to get the wrong drug? Lives are at stake hence patience is extremely important.

    7) Trying to inflate the bill.

    Someone is sick and you are trying to scam? Wow.

    8) Patients saying “God forbid” when you ask about family history.

    It’s not a curse. The question is important for your treatment. Mummy and Daddy pls.

    9) Giving religious leaders credit after getting treated at the Hospital.

    Is this how you repay me? After all my efforts.

    If you enjoyed this, you should definitely read this.

    Dear Zikoko fam, watch this space. Zikoko is starting stories on personal finance like this and a series on hustling and what it means to earn a living in Nigeria. Tell a friend to tell two other friends.

    Hassan Yahaya

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  • All The Reasons We Don’t Trust Doctors

    1. When you are rolling in pain and they are busy asking you questions calmly as if you are not about to die.

    2. When the doctor is smiling at you like a predator so you know your life for the next few days is ruined and stinky.

    3. When they say your problem is a “minor issue” but their bill is still a major headache!

    4. When they bring out a big axe after telling you “it’s just a small injection”.

    5. When they don’t warn you about the terrible taste of some medicines when they ask you to take them.

    6. When they introduce you to some human beings that are meant to be nurses but they behave like witches.

    7. When they say “small surgery” as if such a thing exists.

    8. When they start asking you about next of kin so now you know they are colluding to kill you.

    9. When you feel better and want to thank your God in peace but the doctor starts looking at you somehow.

    Jola Ayeye

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  • 1. When you feel a temperature coming on.

    2. When you check your symptoms online and apparently you are close to death.

    3. When after struggling for a few days you know you have to go to the doctor.

    4. When you get to the hospital and the nurses are already doing like you are the cause of their problems at home.

    5. When you see patients at the hospital crying and you start getting more scared about your own diagnosis.

    6. When you have to do one million tests and take two million injections.

    7. When they say you have to give a urine and stool sample.

    8. When the doctor starts using big scientific words you don’t understand and now you are sure you are going to die.

    9. When after all the wahala they tell you it’s malaria.

    10. When the pharmacist tells you how much the drugs are, you’re like.

    Jola Ayeye

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