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  • What Your Favourite Nollywood Mum Says About You

    We know astrology is a thing, and everyone has their Leo, Gemini and Mercury in egusi drama going on. But what if we told you there’s a better way to analyse your personality?

    Reliable or not, here’s what your favourite Nollywood onscreen mum says about who you are. 

    Joke Silva 

    Everything about you is posh, and you’re unapologetic about it. You’re nobody’s mate, and you know it. Your accent is real and natural, unlike everyone else with fake, untraceable accents. Even though some of your decisions are questionable, you still run things; things don’t run you. Plus, everyone sits up when you enter a room. 

    Ngozi Ezeonu 

    You’re the calm, non-judgmental person everyone can always rely on. You won’t help anyone bury a dead body, but you won’t make them feel bad they committed murder either. With you, there’s always a silver lining. 

    Sola Sobowale 

    Baby, you are the drama and the life of every party you attend — invited or not. The people in your life love you because you’re deeply loyal. They all know you’re the one person who can throw hands whenever they need to rack in public. You love hard, but you fight harder.

    Patience Ozokwor 

    People misunderstand you a lot, and honestly, it’s not fair. It’s not your fault you know what you want and always go after it — even if it’s watching someone’s downfall with glee. You’re driven and willing to do what you think is necessary, whether wrong or right. Your happiness is your priority, and you’re more than happy to unalive any obstacle in your way. I stan. 

    RECOMMENDED: Patience Ozokwor’s Characters Aren’t as Bad as We Thought

    Onyeka Onwenu 

    Your middle name is “Wisdom” because everyone is always rushing to you for advice. From struggling relationships to money wahala, you can calm anyone down even though you’re single, rich and can’t relate to their struggles. You don’t even have to say anything wise. Just your grammar (without any fake accent) and posture are enough to make people believe you’re saying the right thing. 

    Shaffy Bello 

    Overall best in skincare, fashion and enjoyment. Your motto is: “I can’t come and kill myself”, and you follow it religiously. If anything or anyone stresses you, you just put them in rice and distance yourself from the drama. You love being the centre of attention, so you show up to places late and leave early. You like to leave them wanting more, sho get? 

    Ireti Doyle

    You’re a no-nonsense person who isn’t afraid to reply everyone’s gbas with a gbos of your own. You generally avoid trouble, but you’re not scared to pound trouble and eat it with efo riro if someone brings it your way. You’re the one people come to when they want to stop being delusional and actually hear the truth because they know you won’t hold your tongue. You keep to yourself a lot, but stories of all the people you’ve shown pepper are legendary. 

    ALSO READ: What Your Fave Nollywood Actress Says About You

    Conrad Johnson-Omodiagbe

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  • Patience Ozokwor’s Characters Aren’t as Bad as We Thought

    From the villains who were simply misunderstood by society to the walking embodiments of evil who had us saying our nightly prayers and hoping for protection from beings unseen, the definition of a Nollywood villain has evolved over the years. 

    Although we love these villains who get us in our feelings…

    Hiii Government

    …no one comes close to the OG Nollywood villain.

    Patience Ozokwor came to our screens and raised the standard for evil characters. 

    READ: I Watched Patience Ozokwor’s “National Moi-Moi”, So You Don’t Have To

    From the wicked mother-in-law who killed her son just to make his wife suffer to the sweet mother willing to do anything to ensure her daughter marries well and enjoys her life, she became the face of the Nigerian chapter of horrible mothers and mothers-in-law.

    Every time she appeared with her side eye and matching scowl, we cowered in fear as her characters perpetuated EVIL.

    But as adults, she has us seeing reason and taking her side in some of the ridiculous things she did. Yes, we can’t believe we’re saying this either, but her characters weren’t bad for the sake of being bad. They were bad because, as we all know now, to survive Nigeria, you have to move with a readiness to change it for anybody. 

    Some of her characters were dedicated to enjoying life and eating the fruit of their labour. Like when she played this relatable queen who refused to associate herself with suffering.

    Granted, terrorising everyone, from her husband, the king, to her stepson, wasn’t ideal, but you can’t say her heart wasn’t in the right place because nobody actually wants to suffer.

    Sometimes, Patience Ozokwor played the mother who showed her children love the only way she knew how to — with a firm hand, strong words and a condescending laugh or two.

    Look, was she mean? Yes. Was she wrong? Not really. She was simply pushing her son to do better, and it actually worked because he worked harder and became RICH.

    Patience Ozokwor’s characters weren’t the nicest people, but two things were for certain, you were going to hear them out, and they were going to get what they asked for.

    ALSO READ: Movie Villain Vs. Actual Villain: Nollywood Edition

    Chioma Munachi

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  • I Watched Patience Ozokwor’s “National Moi-Moi”, So You Don’t Have To

    I want to be mysterious and act like I turned over every part of the internet until I found this music video, like I had to last week, but that’d be a lie. And I might be many things, but a liar isn’t one of them.

    Today, I’ll be recapping a childhood classic of mine. The somewhat genius, somewhat insane music video and call to action that is Patience Ozokwor’s National Moi-Moi.

    For those who don’t know, Patience Ozokwor, AKA Mama G, AKA G for General, is a veteran actress and musician, the patron saint of the chop life gang nationwide. 

    Chop life crew, jaiye x2

    So, it’s only fitting she has a song where she cosplays as a Nigerian politician, promising to divide the national cake and give her constituents their share. Because who fakes promises and chops life more than the Nigerian government?

    The video starts with a two-car motorcade followed by some news: There’s a new governor in town, and she’s Mama G baybay.

    Do we know how she became governor? Absolutely not. The TV broadcast gives us nothing but a brief line about the OG governor being impeached, and Mama G being put in charge. 

    Journalism? ZERO. 

    The unseating of the OG governor could mean one of two things, either money changed hands and the powers that be brought Mama G in from her mansion, or she was deputy governor. Either way, she couldn’t possibly have been the best person for the job because the plans she has for her electorates?

    It’s bad, it’s very very bad

    After 78 seconds of listening to them announce her as the new governor (yes, I counted). The beat finally drops, and the song which is basically an acceptance speech and seven-point agenda, starts. Personally, I think we should all come together to agree that anyone who gets elected to any political office must turn their acceptance speech into a song and serenade the entire nation.

    That being said, look at the new state governor and her crew. It’s giving “you’ll enjoy now, but you might suffer later”. 

    This government’s first agenda is something about an open-door policy. She proceeds to tell everyone, “If you don’t like it? The corridor awaits you”. 

    Nobody knows what the corridor means, but it’s provocative.

    Mama G’s next agenda is strictly for enjoyment. She’s promising to turn refineries into breweries. 

    See how she’s shining teeth like a true politician after withholding pension

    As an avid liquor fan, this is an agenda I can get behind. But if she can also make plans for stable electricity, that’ll be great because if I have to ingest hot liquor, I can, and I will storm her government house.

    This administration’s dedication to enjoyment is serious AF. The next thing we see is borrowed dancers from a P-Square music video and gyrating around the state house…

    …and Mama G making Fridays a public holiday.

    Not Tonto in her video vixen bag

    Then the chorus starts with more promises to make everybody happy…

    …by sharing the national moi-moi…

    … and dividing the national cake.

    MA’AM!!!

    I need to look into my lack of trust towards older Nigerians because she kinda comes through on her promises. Here she is, throwing Ghana must go bags of money at people.

    I need her to pass one of those bags my way

    All I can say is her agendas are agending. I can understand her open-door policies, the breweries, heck, $1 to ₦1 promise, and please, make Fridays a public holiday! But now, Her Excellency, Mama G for General, wants to import goats and make isi ewu cheap?

    Can she let me rest????

    Before we fully digest that, she’s promising to tackle “NEPA and their wahala” by providing the general populace with… you can’t make this up … candles.

    Mama G for Good life then promises to dash the men in her constituency wives.

    Babes, you’re losing me now

    Some bits have me in hives, but look how cute Mama G and her cohorts are.

    This is why Nigeria is like this 

    The song ends in classic 2000s style, with the beat running on. Her Excellency and her dancers decide to reenact what looks like a ritual proceeding during this time (don’t ask me how I know what that looks like).

    Because I believe strongly in women’s rights and wrongs, I have no further comment on this.

    Chioma Munachi

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  • 8 Korean Actors Who Are More Versatile Than Rice

    Most Korean actors are versatile. They try their best to switch it up from time to time. But some have taken it to such great lengths that it’s like they have a split personality on screen. Here are some actors who’ve played both Patience Ozokwor and Chioma Chukwuka-like roles. 

    Ok Taec-yeon

    His role as the naive intern who turned out to be the evil mastermind in Vincenzo still has me shook nearly two years after, mostly because I’d never seen him play a role like that. He’s usually the charming male lead who acts gruff but has a soft heart, like in Dream High, Bring It On Ghost or his super cheerful character in Secret Royal Inspector Joy. All I know is I’ll be looking extra hard at whatever character he chooses to play next. 

    korean actors versatile

    RELATED: 10 Actors Only Real K-Drama Fans Know

    Kim Da Mi

    If she’s not one of your favourite Korean actresses right now, you don’t like good things. Kim Da Mi knows how to switch things up. She can be a super feisty genius sociopath, like in Itaewon Class, or a fearless evil spirit (or whatever that was) in The Witch: Part 1. The Subversion, who murders her rival, Choi Woo-shik (her romantic love interest in Our Beloved Summer). Whew, can’t she do it all?

    korean actors versatile

    Park Bo Geum

    Based on his cute face alone, there are some roles you won’t expect to see Bo Geum play, but I laugh in “original ekun egbere”. If you’re like me, you fell in love with him after watching him play Taek, an internationally renowned genius Baduk player, in Reply 1988. He was the quietest of all his friends and the baby of the group. Then I watched him play the cunning and emotionless serial killer who was also a lawyer in Hello Monster. I couldn’t believe my eyes, but he’ll always be cute Taek to me sha. 

    korean actors versatile

    Lee Dong Wook

    When he plays evil Patience Ozokwor characters, I expect it; he looks evil. But when he’s nice, my chest starts to pain me. For a grim reaper in Goblin, he was super adorable, and I was even rooting for him. Then I saw him in Strangers From Hell, where he plays a dentist who was a little too friendly. He turned out to be a psychopathic murderer, and my heart actually rested because it made sense. Have you ever met a nice dentist? Don’t watch Strangers From Hell if you have a weak heart o.

    korean actors versatile

    Uhm Ki Joon

    When this man plays a villain, you’ll find yourself praying to God for all the people who find his trouble. But when he’s the victim, he’s so cute and sweet. One of his sweeter roles was as Kang Oh-Hyuk, a teacher who believed in all his students, in Dream High. He fought for them even though they nearly gave him a heart attack and made him lose his job. So when you meet his character in Penthouse — a super convincing psychopathic businessman who’ll stop at nothing to get what he wants — you’ll wonder if it’s the same person. 

    korean actors versatile

    Lee Seung-gi

    I wouldn’t usually list Lee Seung-gi as someone with range because most of his characters feel the same. He’s usually funny, light-hearted and doesn’t take things too seriously, even when he’s on the brink of death — watch My Girlfriend Is a Gumiho, King 2 Hearts Gu Family Book and A Korean Odyssey. That changed in Mouse, where he played a police officer who turned out to be a psychopathic serial killer. It doesn’t help that it was based on a true story (I still have shivers thinking about it). 

    korean actors versatile

    Ji Sung

    Ji Sung is the king of versatility. In Kill Me Heal Me, he played Cha Do Hyun, a character with seven alter egos, including a teenage girl. He has the funniest facial expressions that keep you laughing even in serious scenes, but he can also switch it up. In Devil Judge, he was so unsympathetic, I wanted to slap him through my screen. That’s how you know an actor is good at his job. 

    korean actors versatile

    Jo Jung Suk

    If you were introduced to Jo Jung Suk in Hospital Playlist, you’ll assume he’s the sweetest and funniest actor. He was a great, super-friendly dad who made silly jokes. But in Hit-And-Run Squad, he played a stinky rich and arrogant race car driver. Like a rich Nigerian, his character assumes he’s above the law. I’ve since chosen to unsee that character, but I’m proud of his range still. 

    korean actors versatile

    Kim Go Eun

    When you see Kim Go Eun in a movie, you expect tears. But in Monster, she played an aggressive and weird character who wanted nothing more than revenge for her sister’s death. And she deserved a standing ovation for her role in Pretty Women because, wow. What a deceit. I can’t wait to see her play a proper villain though.

    korean actors versatile

    Kim Hyun Joo

    My queen, the original IT girl, Kim Hyun Joo, has spent years showing us what versatility looks like. She makes you forget any character she’s played before the one on your screen. In I Have A Lover, she played twin sisters separated at birth. One was a super cold and apathetic lawyer, and the other, a sweet and funny pregnant woman. In the Watcher, she’s a ruthless and manipulative lawyer who doesn’t understand team spirit at all. If she’s not winning, what’s the point? Then you see her play a terminally ill woman in Fantastic and wonder if she’s Chioma Chukuwka’s twin because, why are you crying buckets of tears every second?

    korean actors versatile

    READ ALSO: Korean Actresses That Made Us Obsessed With K-drama

    Malakai Bassey

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  • Forget Thanos and Killmonger these are the greatest villains we’ll ever know, as presented to you by Nollywood.

    Patience Ozokwor

    There was no greater female villain in Nollywood history than Patience Ozokwor. She played the recurring role of the evil mother-in-law so well it was hard to disassociate her from it whenever she played any other role.

    Pete Edochie

    Three out of four Pete Edochie movies had him portraying an evil king or chief or cult member willing to do anything for money and power. He became so synonymous with those roles that you only had to see a picture of him pop up on a movie poster for you to know what the movie was all about.

    Segun Arinze

    No one was better at bringing scary characters to life than Segun Arinze. He is most popular for his role as Black Arrow in the movie Silent Night.

    Hanks Anuku

    You know we can’t leave out the ultimate IJGB bad boy. The Igwe Tupac before Igwe Tupac. We don’t think we’ve ever come across a Hanks Anuku movie in which he was not playing the role of a gangster or villain.

    Kanayo O. Kanayo

    Cult member or ritualist, Kanayo O. Kanayo portrayed his character so well we’d need little or no convincing if a story ever came out about him taking on this role in real life.

    Jim Iyke

    King of baby boys and breaker of hearts no matter what role Jim Iyke takes on it’s next to impossible to imagine him as anything other than a play boy.

    Emeka Ani

    If you were casting for the role of cult leader in a Nollywood movie no one will be better suited for the role than Emeka Ani. Like, imagine him as Pastor, and tell me if that makes any sense.

    Chiwetalu Agu

    Although Chiwetalu is now known for more comedic roles, he started off as that wicked brother who killed his brothers to take over their land and properties.

    Alex Usifo

    No matter how hard he tries Alex Usifo always comes off looking like the bad guy in whatever role he portrays. He’s the person that teaches everyone else how to fish from the river of money rituals.

    After going through this list we are sure you can agree with us that these are the greatest villains Nollywood had ever produced.

    Toketemu Ohwovoriole

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  • 10 Times Patience Ozokwor Reminded Us Of Our Scary Aunty

    1. When she is waiting for you to finish telling foolish lies so she can descend on you.

    God has caught you.

    2. When you ask her relationship advice, she’s like:

    Aunty relationship, not human ATM machine.

    3. When you take her to the teacher that has been bullying you at school.

    Please my champion is here! Oya talk again.

    4. When your parents report you to her, she’s like:

    You have entered one chance oh!

    5. When she hears that you are still doing independent woman and don’t want to marry.

    “You think the world will wait for you? My friend you better allow your head be correct!”

    6. When you try to defend yourself against her insults.

    If you know what is good for you!

    7. When she hears you refuse to break up with your boyfriend that does not have sense.

    You want to kill her?

    8. When she sees her former friends that tried to disgrace her outside.

    But if you don’t confront them ma, will the world end?

    9. When she sends you on an errand and you forgot to collect her change.

    Very what? Very good!

    10. How she poses in all the family pictures.

    Funky mama!

    Jola Ayeye

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  • 8 Nigerians Who Prove It’s Never Too Late

    Daniel Orubo

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