NYSC DIARY | Zikoko!

I’ll always preach the gospel that NYSC should begin and end with the three-week orientation camp. Why do I have to dedicate a year of my life to serving my fatherland? It’s giving forced labour, please.

Anyway, I decided to rank 16 experiences that are very familiar to anyone who has ever, or will potentially answer, annoying names like Otondo, Corper Wee Wee Wee and Corper Wa Wa Wa. TF?

Let’s get into it.

1. Receiving your call up letter

This is where you know if you serve a living God or if your village people have plans for you. If you get the state you want, good for you. If you don’t, you’ll start asking yourself questions like, ”Is this even necessary?”

Verdict: This is fun.

2. Packing for camp

You think you know what confusion is? Wait until you hear distorted information about the number of photocopies to make, white shorts and shirts to pack, and everything else that should follow you to camp. I made a total of 100 photocopies.

Verdict: Get me out of here.

3. Arriving at orientation camp

It might not look like it because you’ll probably be stressed AF, but it’s one of the sweetest NYSC experiences because it’s real as shit. It’s the real “Mama, I made it” moment followed by this next one.

Verdict: This is fun.

4. Getting your NYSC gear

If you’re still in doubt, receiving your NYSC kit will help you realise that true true, na you be the latest corper wee in town.

Verdict: This is fun.

5. When nothing fits you

This is where chaos starts. You’ll have to ask strangers if they’re willing to exchange with you. Whether you find someone or not, it’s lowkey one of the most annoying things to experience on the first day in camp.

Verdict: Get me out of here.

6. The struggle for bedspace

As someone who got the bed space closest to the room’s entrance and toilet, let me tell you that this seemingly simple activity of choosing where to sleep can define what your camp life will look like. NYSC should better make bed space and room selection part of the registration process.

Verdict: Get me out of here.

7. Bonding with your roomates

If you take a cherished moment/experience away from NYSC, it probably started from your assigned room. This is where you’ll likely make friends with random people you don’t know from Adam.

Verdict: This is fun.

8. The early morning drills

This one will make you swear from the bottom of your heart for the person who came up with the idea that birthed NYSC.

Verdict: Get me out of here.

9. Getting your first pay

The money might only buy a plate of food at mami but yes to chopping government money!

Verdict: This is fun.

10. Discovering mami market

If you’re like me who didn’t want anything to do with camp food, the mami market will be your small mecca during your time in camp.

Verdict: This is fun.

11. Your first allawee

Of course, you’re happy AF to receive your first monthly allawee even if it’ll only last a few days.

Verdict: This is fun.

12. PPA posting

Two things can happen here: Your connect comes true and you’re posted to your desired PPA or NYSC flings you to an abandoned organisation in the middle of nowhere. Either way, the anxiety of finding out both is not recommended.

Verdict: Get me out of here.

13. Weekly/monthly CDS

Please, NYSC should begin and end with the three weeks in orientation camp. Every other activity is not necessary.

Verdict: Get me out of here.

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14. Passing out parade

It’s like getting to the end of a badly written Nollywood script. Won’t you be happy when you see “The End”? Exactly. Let’s pack this shit up and never speak of it again.

Verdict: This is fun.

15. The big social media post

How else will the people know you’re fit to run for office if they don’t find pictures of you posing with your NYSC certificate? Documenting is an important process of it all, please dear.

Verdict: This is fun.

16. Jobless again

So your PPA didn’t retain you. You reach out to relatives who promised to help with a job and they say “Aired, DFKM”. On top of this, the government has stopped giving you their meagre ₦33k. Haq haq haq. Welcome to your quarter-life crisis era.

Verdict: Get me out of here.

Take the quiz: Only People Who Did NYSC Will Get 8/12 In This Quiz

Adeyinka Odutuyo

February 29, 2024

Aluta and Chill

Nigerians, NYSC, NYSC Camp, NYSC DIARY
A few months ago we began the NYSC Diaries, which covered inside life stories of NYSC in Nigeria. Stories like things NYSC corps members can relate to or what to do when you’re posted to a faraway place, like Borno.

A new NYSC batch has been called in for camp. So, everyday by 1:30PM for the next 21 days, one of our writers will be sharing his day-to-day camp experiences.

4:38 a.m.

I’m fully awake, I’ve taken a bath and I’m dressed in my all white. My roommates are beginning to let their guards down because it’s the last day. Why are they not awake by this time. They will blow the bugle now and they will start rushing. Anyways, let me go back to bed. It’s my last sleep inside this place. Let me enjoy it.

5:45 a.m.

My first roommate wakes up and the noise he makes wakes me up. 5:45 a.m. and these people haven’t woken us up. Am I the only serious person in this camp? I ask what’s going on, and he tells me that they announced yesterday that we have all till 7 a.m. to prepare fully and move our boxes out of the rooms.

Oh, wow. Is this who I am now? So many questions come to my head:
1. Will I now be awake by 4 a.m. everyday?
2. Will I sing the national anthem and NYSC anthem everyday?
3. Will my new style of greeting people continue to be halting and saluting them like a soldier?
4. Will I drop everything I’m doing and freeze by 6 am and 6 pm because Nigerian is either waking up or going to bed?
5. Will I wear a waist pouch everywhere?
6. Will I only wear white clothes now?
7. Will the sound of trumpets make me angry?
8. Can I still walk normally, or will I “double up” everywhere I’m going?
7:12 a.m.

We’re all out and taking pictures now. We’ve packed our boxes out and finally locked the hostel. There’s so much joy in the air. I’m seeing smiles I’ve never seen before. Omo.

7:45 a.m.

I’m running towards OBS now. Last night, I was the one shouting that we must all be there by 7:15 for the group pictures, but let me not lie, I forgot. I get there and meet only a few people. They’ve taken the pictures and most of the other people have left. So this is how when they ask if I was in OBS during my NYSC, I won’t be able to say yes with my chest because I didn’t take a group picture with OBS people. It’s paining my chest.

10:45 a.m.

The marching has ended. The entire program has ended. This was much better than the swearing-in parade. The special guest of honour arrived much earlier than we thought they would so we skipped some part of the parade and just got into the thick of it. I stan a punctual special guest of honour.

They’ve told us bye-bye and just like that, camp has ended. We can go home. People are hugging and being very emotional. I haven’t seen anyone crying. But the hugs and goodbyes I’m seeing are like those of people who have known each other for years.

I go back to OBS. That’s where all my own friends are. PPAs have come out. I got where I wanted. I can see tears and I want to laugh. Nobody wants to go to Gwagwalada. I think some people can see Gwagwalada on their PPA.

12:00 p.m.

I’m in the Bolt cab going home. We’re speeding on these smooth and beautiful Abuja roads when suddenly the bonnet springs open and crashes into the windshield, shattering it and leaving glass droplets on us. It’s super scary but I’m thankful because it could have been much worse; the driver could have swerved to another lane or come to a sudden stop out of panic and then the accident would have involved more than just us.

1:35 p.m.

I get home to meet a welcome card and a spa reservation from the loml. Wahala for who single o.

10:00 p.m.

I’m feeling sleepy again. This is the fourth time I’m sleeping since I got home. There’s tired, and there’s tired.

I am tired.
David Odunlami

December 1, 2020

NYSC Diary

NYSC DIARY
A few months ago we began the NYSC Diaries, which covered inside life stories of NYSC in Nigeria. Stories like things NYSC corps members can relate to or what to do when you’re posted to a faraway place, like Borno.

A new NYSC batch has been called in for camp. So, everyday by 1:30PM for the next 21 days, one of our writers will be sharing his day-to-day camp experiences.

DAY 1

4:58 a.m

I wake up, look at the time and immediately get super pissed. How can I be waking up at 4:58 a.m on the only NYSC camp day I have the chance to sleep all I want? I know I’m not going to get any more sleep so I just go on Twitter to watch highlights of people arguing “Made In Lagos” vs “A Better Time”. People have time sha.

9 a.m

I wake up again by 8:30 a.m. I don’t even know how I slept, but I’m happy I did. My sister is making food and I join her. Spaghetti stir fry. The food is amazing. I’m eating slowly to savor the moment because I’m sitting here thinking “When next will I eat good food without having to pay through my teeth?”. But how much time can one spend eating?

12:23 p.m

This is the third time I’m packing my box. I keep getting the feeling that I’m overpacking. I don’t want to get there and look like that guy in JSS1 that brought matching box, bag, toothbrush, singlet, and shampoo, make them no dey laugh me. The third time is the final time though. I’m ready.

1:44 p.m

I’m sitting in this Uber wondering: Would I rather be in extremely frustrating Lagos traffic, or on free Abuja roads holding my breath and clinging to my seat as all these drivers carelessly swerve in front of us? Abuja people don’t know how to drive. It’s like they are all rushing somewhere, and from what I’ve heard, all Abuja people do is commit adultery and do drugs. Are they all rushing to go and cheat? The Uber driver looks at me. He notices that I’m obviously scared, so he laughs. “I know what you’re thinking”, he’s smiling. “Yes, Abuja people don’t know how to drive.”

I begin to wonder how he can tell that I’m new then I remember all the calls I made talking about how great Abuja roads are compared to Lagos and how I wouldn’t mind living here.

Eyan Sherlock Holmes.

2:35 p.m

I have arrived at camp and people rushing towards me to sell all sorts of stuff. I hear their prices and I laugh. They don’t know I’m a Lagos boy. It is me that will cheat you. Anyways, I price a bucket from N1500 to N500 and buy it, then I buy a very tiny plastic cup for 250. Good business. We move.

After the policeman at the gate who was frowning as if someone stole his ponmo finished checking my papers, he let me in. And the first thing I notice is that they’re sticking long plastic strips into people’s noses. COVID-19 test. They tell us to join the queue.

3:30 p.m

We’re all still sitting on one spot. The people doing the tests have gone on a break. An official comes and tells us to keep our stuff safe when we finally get into hostel. “Even if you move with them everyday, don’t leave your phone with them. A word is enough for the wise.”

The guy sitting beside me starts to rant about how humans are still stealing in this day and age. “Can’t people just decide not to steal? Why do we have to watch our stuff every time?”

Someone should help this guy set up a meeting with Nigerian politicians. He definitely has something to tell them.

4:05 p.m

We’re still here, nothing yet. But the girl sitting beside me just gave me her folder to hold for her as she brought out a shitload of cash to count. I want to be her friend.

4:45 p.m

They have not come back from their break. I decide to take a stroll to Mami Market and please tell me why l can see a stand full of wigs? Are people coming to NYSC camp thinking “Shit I can’t wait to finally get my bone straight wig from Mami Market?”

Some guy was here for the COVID-19 test yesterday but he couldn’t do it, so they told him to go into the hostels, mix with people, sleep and come back tomorrow. So we’re just whining ourselves here.

5:40 p.m

Some officials are here. But just to tell us to wear our masks. They leave.

5:56 p.m

Finally officials are here. I realise I haven’t printed something so I rush to Mami Market to print it. N300 for printing. And that woman can sleep well this night? God.

I’m rushing back and it’s 6pm on the dot. I hear people shouting. I look round. Soldiers are pointing at me and shouting. I start running. Someone shouts “Stop!”. I stop. Then I hear that some tune is playing. Afterwards some

guy tells me that it means Nigeria is going to bed so everyone must stand still. It happens everyday by 6pm.

As I move closer to the soldier who told me to stop, he calls me and warns me never to try that again. But I can tell that he’s friendly. I laugh and leave.

6:45 p.m

I’ve just done my test. That shit is uncomfortable as hell. I almost cried.

7:45 p.m

They’ve called everyone who did the test except me. They’re even calling everyone who has done it after me. What’s going on? Do I have COVID?

I try to find out why.

7:51 p.m

Apparently, they can’t find my test thing. Only me. There’s over two hundred people that have been tested and it’s only my test they can’t find. I have to do the test again. It’s much worse this time.

I must pray well this night before I sleep. I rebuke every spirit of retrogression.

8:12 p.m

I’ve been given a little piece of paper with a number on it. I must keep that paper until the last day, or I will not be allowed to leave this camp after my 21-day stay here.

Random friend calls me in 2034: Hey David, I haven’t seen you in a while. Where have you been?

Me: I lost the paper. I need to find the paper. Where’s the paper? Help me.

9 p.m

We’re still searching for bed spaces. Some guy who gave me biscuit earlier when I was hungry calls me. He has found a free bed for me. I hurry to go and meet him. He’s definitely an angel at this point.

11:30 p.m

I’m finally in bed. I’ve arranged my stuff and taken a bath and now I’m ready to sleep. Turns out the guy is my room mate. He puts on his sleeping shirt. It’s an Arsenal jersey. It all makes sense now.

I also realise now, that I underpacked.

[donation]

David Odunlami

November 15, 2020

NYSC Diary

Abuja camp, NYSC DIARY
The Passing Out Parade (POP) for NYSC Batch C, Stream 1 corps members has been set for the 15th of October, 2020.

The Batch went to camp in November 2019.

At present, corps members who redeployed to Oyo state are being issued their ID cards, and the OYOKOPA magazine for their stream is currently in the works.

A sample of the OyoKopa magazine.

Nothing concrete has been said yet concerning resumption for schools. Any update will be posted subsequently.

Other NYSC posts you’ll enjoy: 16 Ways To Make Money During Your NYSC Year

7 Types Of People You’ll Meet At NYSC CDS

Hello there! Thank you so much for always reading. Are there topics you’d like us to write about? Do you have any NYSC-related questions you want us to answer? Send us an email kunle@bigcabal.com We look forward to hearing from you. Xx

Kunle Ologunro

September 10, 2020

Inside Life

Batch C, NYSC, NYSC DIARY, Passing Out Parade, Pop, stream 1
Everyday by 12pm for the next 21 days, I’ll be telling you what life is like at NYSC Camp. I was posted to Borno State, but the camp holds in Katsina state due to Boko Haram insurgency in Borno. You can read all the stories in the series here.

5:30AM

Look, I am never believing any soldier again. In the heat of yesterday’s competition when the MC (a fellow corps member) saw that we were going to take long, he begged that we be allowed to sleep a bit longer. It’s a fair arrangement: the next day is Saturday, and in all fairness, we were finished with the NYSC timetable. We need rest too.

Now imagine my shock when the bugle sounded at 4AM this morning, and my anger when a solider poked my leg with a stick to wake me up.

I get up, dress in anger and a feeling of betrayal. Soldiers are not to be trusted. Not now, not ever.

6:00AM

Funny thing: coming to the parade ground was a waste. I missed morning meditation, and by the time I arrived at the ground, there’s nothing left. I am not marching, I am not doing anything, in other words, I have wasted valuable time coming here.

Today is the carnival. All platoons will dress in jeans and a white round neck shirts bearing designs unique to their own platoons. I came prepared, I brought jeans. When you come to camp too, come along with jeans. If you intend to participate in Miss NYSC, you can also come with your own dress, and a traditional attire. Young men hoping to be Mr. Machos should also come with corporate outfits, and maybe three litres of vegetable oil.

10:03 AM

Lmao. This carnival is trash. Other carnivals in other states dress in traditional attires, fancy costumes, and they move about, happy and colourful. But here in Katsina, our carnival is like an awareness walk. Awareness walk is even better. We simply gather under the pavilion, and the MC calls us out to dance according to platoon. It’s a travesty of a carnival. Even street carnivals will see our carnival and laugh.

Because, what’s the point of a carnival like that in the afternoon? What’s the point of buying face masks if you will do nothing but sit under a pavilion and listen to Naira Marley on repeat?

2:15 PM

I forgot to tell you. Today is the cooking competition, and all platoons are saddled with the responsibility of cooking dinner by ourselves and for ourselves. There will be judges who will taste our food and award us marks.

They give us pepper, salt, maggi, vegetable oil, tomato paste, detergent (to wash pot, not to cook abeg), quarter bag of rice, raw meat, firewood, Onga, and all other things they deem enough to cook food.

But then the problem is that these things are not enough. And this is where people begin to do oversabi.

You know those people in university and secondary school, those ITK classmates who when asked to define Osmosis, say, “According to Albert Einstein 1945, page 201, column 11, line 43, Osmosis is sfhdlahd.” Shebi you know them na? Them full this camp.

Ordinary cooking competition that they gave us rice and pepper for, some people started to prepare salad, banga soup and starch, fried rice. I think some people even prepared amala and ewedu. One platoon went to buy crates of soft drinks. Another platoon went to rent aprons, table cloths, decoration fabric. Tiri gbosa for una. See my platoon people, we gathered and told ourselves we are not participating. Competition that they will not judge us fairly for anyway. Why kill ourselves?

7:40 PM

Food is not yet ready. We are supposed to be done by 8PM and take it to the parade ground for tasting, but since we are not done, will the judges please eat firewood and salt? The Camp Director came and said, “Let me tell you, if that food is not ready by 8PM, know that you are going to taste it and judge yourselves by yourselves.”

Why sir, that’s so kind of you. How did you know we have the same thing in mind?

8:23PM

Food is ready. Hot party jollof rice with fried and stewed beef. We bought extra pepper, vegetable oil, butter, and seasoning cubes. Our money will enter our mouth.

We carried it to the parade ground, but we went to the far back, not to the front. We stood there with our table and just chilled.

It was in this this chilling mode that we heard that our platoon came in 8th. On top food wey them no taste? Food wey we no even carry go there? Indeed, God is a miracle working God. We kuku burst into song: He’s a miracle working God. He’s the Alpha and Omega, He’s a miracle working God!

See clapping, see dancing. Even other platoons were forced to look at us and wonder about our excitement. But we didn’t even care. We simply set up table and started to serve our platoon people with one sachet of water.

The food of rebellion is sweet, I tell you. Those of us that cooked got extra meat, and later when we cleared up, I still ate extra. I must have eaten up to seven pieces of meat. Yep, seven.

Later, we heard that the eight position was for kitchen duty and that Platoon 4, the same platoon that cooked heaven and earth came last in kitchen duty.

Lmao. Is life not a pot of burnt beans?

Kunle Ologunro

November 24, 2019

Inside Life, NYSC Diary

Camp, NYSC, NYSC DIARY
Everyday by 12pm for the next 21 days, I’ll be telling you what life is like at NYSC Camp. I was posted to Borno State, but the camp holds in Katsina state due to Boko Haram insurgency in Borno. You can read all the stories in the series here.

6:30 AM

Technically, we are now edging towards the second half of NYSC camp. Today is the 10th day, and in 11 days, I will be back home. The routine is pretty much the same: early rising hours, soldiers banging at doors, the bugle blowing like an annoying thing that it is, morning meditation, parade, etc.

Something new happens this morning during meditation: four people are called out, and the camp director announces that the police will help them pack their bags to the gate.

Ghen ghen. Do you remember Bros? The one who caused trouble in the kitchen on the day our platoon had kitchen duties? He is one of those called out, and this is when everything goes skrrr. We are told to continue with our activities, but who can do that? We listen for our numbers on the roll call, but all the while, our eyes and ears are trained to the place where the people to be sent out of camp are being interrogated. Eventually, I learn that Bros fought with a camp official and when he was told to keep shut, he kept at it, asking, “Do you know who I am?!”

For minutes, we keep up our banner of pity and make excuses for Bros: Yes, he is lousy, but can they please be merciful? They should pardon them na, as per first time. In a way, I think that this is the reason why Nigeria is slow in attaining change. We hate an attitude, and when such an attitude receives its due, we make excuses for it.

All of us in this country should please pick one struggle, abeg.

7:50 AM

I am on air today again, and it is fun, as always. I join U. in presenting the Current Affairs and Today in History segment. At the end, K. and I get the tag which declares us OBS members. This is the tag that grants us access to get out of parade and other duties, except duties coordinated by devils in guise of soldiers. OBS does not mean you’re not going to do other things, we have been told. But then one can be disobedient once in a while, yeah?

When I get the tag, I tell K., “Let’s go and paint the town red.”

Breakfast is pap and beans, and like the first time, I achieve an orgasm as soon as I taste my beans. It might not be your taste, but one man’s vegetable salad is considered goat food by another man.

9:50

SAED lectures again. We learn about digital marketing, which I find very interesting. Interesting enough that I do not sleep a wink, and I attempt to answer a question on browsers and search engines. At the end, I am given a knapsack which is something I have always wanted since.

10:01 AM

We begin our work of baking. Today, we’ll ice it. The instructor dishes out the procedures which I won’t share with you, because if you want to know, you sef come to NYSC, Borno camp. Yep, I went there.

Note this: anytime it comes to free food, people lose consciousness of their humanity. You should have seen some of these fine girls and boys shouting because of a slice of cake. Hard guy, hard guy but ordinary cake and home training goes on flight mode. Tueh.

2:00 PM

Lunch is tuwo and okro soup. For me, it’s a 5/10 sha; I would like a bigger meat, please.

We return to the parade ground to fill out a form called certificate form. More like sign it, actually. A passport at hand, and a scan of our details to see if they are entered correctly. Mine are.

6:00 PM

Parade is winding up at this time. It is a mess, but also interesting. At the end of each day, it feels like my arms are about to be torn off from my shoulders, all that marching and swinging of hands.

An interesting thing has also happened: the camp commandant said our level of indiscipline is appalling, and he too, is up to the task. In his words, “If you say you are a cultist, me too I am a night crawler.”

Me I was just surprised sha. Like, people actually have the time to do cult inside all this stress? Them no dey tire? Nawa o.

Anyway, it means even more strictness: no black tights for ladies, no below the knee shorts, no three quarters, now we have to leave early for parade, get up earlier from bed or risk being told to do frog jump.

9:15 PM

I’m at the compulsory social night. Me I don’t know when party became by force to attend o. But sha, I am having fun. If not because of the interesting-ness of the drama and dance, but because of the obvious discrepancies in their play. Because how can you have a Yoruba king who has an Edo queen, both of whom have an Igbo son? How do you explain that?

God safe us.

Kunle Ologunro

November 15, 2019

Inside Life, NYSC Diary

Borno, Camp, Cult, katsina, NYSC Camp, NYSC DIARY
Everyday by 12pm for the next 21 days, I’ll be telling you what life is like at NYSC Camp. I was posted to Borno State, but the camp holds in Katsina state due to Boko Haram insurgency in Borno. You can read all the stories in the series here.

5:27 AM

Back to being a regular platoon person. Back to going to the parade ground which, to be honest, I am now starting to enjoy. I am supposed to be at OBS by 4 AM for broadcast, but a local man cannot can. I wake up by 4:19 AM and I realise that with this OBS thing, some battles have to be left for the Lord to fight, so I return to my bed until people begin to move about, waking me from my sleep.

Today’s meditation is handled by Platoon three. They speak on loyalty. Nigeria wakes up. Our platoon leader takes roll call. As soon as he calls my name, I sneak out of the parade ground.

It’s my 9th day on this camp. It is the first time I will be on air as a newscaster.

7:50 AM

News casting goes well. I was slated for headline review. K. and I reviewed headlines from Punch, The Guardian, The Sun, The Nation. When it’s over, the head of the news department hugs us. She is excited. I go on to grab breakfast.

Breakfast is yam and stew. The yam is like a pestle, something you can hurl at someone if you intend to kill them with one blow. Just throw it and boom, they’re dead and gone. Mine is soft, sha. But K.’s is hard, and even though we fry eggs to go along with it, she ends up throwing hers in the bin, half eaten.

9:03AM

SAED lectures begin, my sleeping pill that never fails. But this lecture is interesting, and it is because we talk about money. Corps members’ allowance, incentives, etc. Now this is an interesting thing that people posted to Borno state should note:

There is the option for automatic redeployment when you are posted to Borno state. But if you choose not to redeploy, you get N10,000 as state allowance; you get posted to the capital, Maiduguri; and you get free accommodation. There’s more, I heard, but it looks like they are unveiling it slowly. Me, I think it’s a ploy to get us to stay back. The incentives are attractive, but I am thinking of the distance, the fact that I’ll probably see my family just once throughout the service year. And maybe all the opportunities I’ll be missing?

Anyway, there is the opportunity of thinking things through. And if I don’t like/want where I relocate to, all I have to do is not make any move within 21 days, and I’ll be relocated to Borno state. There’s still so much I need to learn about this, and I am certainly waiting. Who knows if I will meet the love of my life in Maiduguri, Borno? Who knows?

12:00 PM

We are deep into our SAED skill. I belong to food processing (catering, abeg leave big grammar and packaging) and we are learning how to bake cupcakes. And they’re a beauty, aren’t they? Love of my life, if you’re reading this, look at the skill I’m adding to my husband material CV.

1:12PM

An emergency bugle takes us out of our hostels. We are peeved, to say the least, because this bell is not for lunch, and didn’t they tell us that our practicals end by 2 PM? We leave for the pavilion anyway, and find out that a new guest has just arrived and wants to have a word with us.

I am too tired, and half her words fly over my head. I know she is advising us, telling us to believe we can do it, to remember that nowhere in Nigeria is safe, anyway. I realise that it is a ploy to keep us in Borno. It might not be, but right now, everything about Borno seems to me like a narrative to keep us from leaving, and this is what makes everything suspicious.

I mean, I would like to stay if I want to, but choking me with the “positive images” and and other reasons why I should stay looks like there’s something you’re trying to hide. You don’t see Lagos Camp telling corpers why they should stay in Lagos. Yes, I know, Lagos isn’t portrayed the same way Borno is, whenever it comes to security. I doze off, and when they say lunch is ready, I run to queue for the rice and stew.

9:15 PM

Every other thing is the same: siesta which makes me a little disoriented when I wake up; the bugle blowing for the parade at four; the parade, at first stressful and then enjoyable; Nigeria going to bed by 6PM; dinner of egusi and eba; OBS meeting.

In between this, I attend fellowship where they play a video of Borno state and let us that Borno is a lovely place to serve. The video is too video-y: people in a mall, playing ludo in a room, eating from a large pot and looking happy, the governor giving out money. I have questions: What about those who don’t want to live in family house? Certainly, they won’t serve in a church for a whole year; where they get posted to as their primary place of assignments, how much do they earn?

The social night is fun, until Platoon three presents a dance that is so confusing, so mismatched, so prolonged and annoying that people stand up and leave while they are still on stage. Guess what? They keep dancing! The light is switched off, but they keep dancing. As per show must go on, but this show already ended before it even started.

Tonight, Platoon 3 will be roasted for dinner. And I’m here for it.

Kunle Ologunro

November 14, 2019

Inside Life, NYSC Diary

Borno, Camp, katsina, love, NYSC DIARY, relationships