Notice: Function _load_textdomain_just_in_time was called incorrectly. Translation loading for the wordpress-seo domain was triggered too early. This is usually an indicator for some code in the plugin or theme running too early. Translations should be loaded at the init action or later. Please see Debugging in WordPress for more information. (This message was added in version 6.7.0.) in /home/bcm/src/dev/www/wp-includes/functions.php on line 6121 Nigerians | Page 6 of 44 | Zikoko!Nigerians | Page 6 of 44 | Zikoko!
So, the forces of the universe have united against you and decided you should be lonely at the top on Valentine’s Day? Not the best time to be alone if you ask us. But since an idle hand is satan’s workshop or whatever they say, we have the perfect lineup of activities to help you survive the day.
Draw up a “must visit” list
You know how you make a mental list of all the friends you’ll visit during festive seasons? Do the same for Valentine’s Day. Rank your female besties from “Her boyfriend is rich AF” to “At all at all na im bad pass”, and plan who to visit.
Befriend your bestie’s boyfriend
Think about it. Who knows your besties better than their BFs? You. Who knows all the things they want to see in their Valentine’s Day gift box? Also, you. So, get to work and become their BF’s personal shopping assistant and gifting advisor. Then show up on Val’s Day to retrieve the reward for your hard work.
Set leg
Relationship people will be everywhere in their droves on February 14, and believe us when we say they’ll be annoying AF. Set leg for any couple, just because you can. Who knows? You might just be the one to fall… inside one relationship.
Judge relationship people
Anyone who tells you to go off social media is bad vibes. Where’s the fun in that when you can stay and judge the gifts given, the gifter and the giftee?
Beg your Odogwu
Thanks to your single-pringleness, it won’t get any tender loving care or affection on a day dedicated to love. If it doesn’t take sorry, just beat it.
Go hard on the house chores
If you stay with your parents, when you finish the chores, they’ll bless you with an important prayer point: “God will provide your partner at the right time”. You might not get a lover this year o, but your story will definitely change in 2025.
Go outside and find love
If you’ve decided you absolutely cannot spend February 14 alone, head out as early as 5 a.m. Go to the busiest bus stop in your area, and position yourself by the roadside. Person go toast you before noon, like the babe in this Love Life.
Or just love yourself
Listen, nobody can love you like you love yourself. Stand in front of the mirror and have the sickest house party with the man in the mirror. It might give off strong “This is madness” vibe, but it’s the character development you need to survive relationship shege.
On Monday, February 5, 2024, Chishuru, a UK-based restaurant founded by Nigerian chef, Adejoke Bakare, was one of 18 restaurants awarded with a Michelin Star. This makes her the first black female Michelin-starred chef in the UK, and second in the world.
Michelin Stars are given by a collective of inspectors employed by the Michelin guide, who visit different restaurants in about 40 countries, as anonymous customers.
Photo source: Instagram/@chishuru
A brief history of Chef Bakare and Chishuru
Chef Bakare’s interest in the culinary world dates back to her years in Kaduna, where she grew up with a Yoruba mother and an Igbo father. As a child, she enjoyed watching her maternal grandmother cook, so she never considered cooking for her siblings as a chore. Her love for cooking continued even as a student of biological science at the university in Kaduna. “My culinary experience up to that point was running a fish and chips cart while I was studying,” Bakare revealed in a Guardian UK interview.
She eventually moved to the United Kingdom in the 1990s and worked in the care and property management industries before friends encouraged her to start a supper club in 2017. Fast forward to 2019, she participated in a Brixton Village competition that rewarded the winner with an opportunity to operate a three-month pop-up restaurant.
“When I won, it was almost like a sign to go, “OK, you can now do those things that you want to do. There is an avenue for me to get on doing food more professionally.”
In September 2020, months after the triumphant win, Chishuru was born as a pop-up serving contemporary West African dishes. The restaurant’s West African cuisine quickly gained popularity among the Brits, especially customers who grew up in West Africa and were familiar with the region’s culinary offerings, earning her a feature on Great British Chefs in 2023 and a recognition in the top 100 restaurants in the UK at the National Restaurant Awards.
Photo source: Instagram/@chishuru
By 2023, Chishuru had outgrown Brixton Village, prompting a move to Fitzrovia, London.
“With a mixture of great relief and excitement we can finally announce that reservations are now OPEN for our restaurant in Fitzrovia!” read a post shared on the restaurant’s official Instagram page in August 2023.
[ad]
A Michelin-starred restaurant
Photo source: Instagram/@chishuru
On Monday, February 6, news broke that Chishuru achieved the Michelin milestone, less than six months after setting up a permanent place in Fitzrovia in September 2023.
“Until this morning I was just focused on enjoying the accolade itself, which I’m hugely honoured by. But seeing reactions on social media today, I’m starting to feel a weight of responsibility on my shoulders too. It’s lovely,” she said in an interview.
Nigerians have also taken to social media to celebrate chef Adejoke Bakare for the inspiring and record-breaking feat.
What does Chishuru serve?
Chef Adejoke Bakare told the Guardian that Chishuru’s menu is not restricted to Nigeria food.
“You can’t describe our food as “Nigerian” though, because there’s no one food tradition… much of the culinary history predates the lines on a map. My parents are Yoruba and Igbo, and I grew up in Hausa territory, so my food is informed by all three of those culinary styles.”
The restaurant offers a set menu only, priced at £75pp for dinner and £35pp for lunch. Chishuru’s lunch menu features fermented crispy rice cake with smoky, meaty mushrooms, creamy and light corn cake with fragrant coconut, date and tamarind sauce and grilled breadfruit. For dinner, the restaurant serves moi-moi (bean cake, bone marrow, omelette, red pepper, scallop roe), peppersoup (seasonal shellfish, radish, apple), asun (roasted cull goat belly, glaze, pepper relish) and imoyo (Newlyn cod fillet, fermented tomato sauce, Scotch bonnet, okra).
Love Life is a Zikoko weekly series about love, relationships, situationships, entanglements and everything in between.
What’s your earliest memory of each other?
Gbemi: I was standing on the road, waiting for a bus or bike, when this car stopped in front of me and wound down. It was actually the second car that stopped to offer me a ride that evening, but the no in my head immediately turned to yes when I felt the AC blow out of his car. I quickly thanked him and opened the door.
Muiz: I remember seeing this fine girl standing close to the bus stop. I wanted to get her out of the sun and into my life.
I’d just come out of a long relationship with someone I was sure I would marry, so I wasn’t thinking about a relationship when I decided to offer her a ride. I only wanted fine company and to give her some comfort.
Hmm. Were you both going the same way?
Muiz: She said she was going home, but she lived much further than my destination. I thought I’d drop her as far as I could go, and at least, I’d have made some part of her journey comfortable.
Gbemi: Unfortunately, it would’ve been hard to get a straight bus home anywhere around where he was going compared to where he’d picked me up from. When I told him this, he felt bad, so I downplayed it. I really didn’t want to get out of his car. It was so chilled and smelt nice. On top of that, he had Keri Hilson, one of my favourite R&B musicians, playing on his radio. I would’ve followed him wherever.
Muiz: We got to talking. I asked her about work, her family. I’m generally a curious person, so I’m always asking people everything about themselves. But with this complete stranger, I felt particularly interested. I like the way she speaks. Na she learn English pass everyone in Nigeria.
I ended up taking her all the way to her house because I wanted to hear more, and I didn’t feel comfortable dropping her on the road anymore.
So you liked each other already at this point?
Muiz: When I think back now, I think I loved her already. I’m not normally nice enough to drive complete strangers to their doorstep that’s at least 30 minutes away from where I’m going. I’ve never done that before. But also, I wasn’t tripping in any way I ever had before. I genuinely enjoyed her company like I would a friend that I love.
Gbemi: I enjoyed how curious he was about my life and how much he really seemed to listen. At the same time, I didn’t get that vibe that he could be a criminal planning to kidnap or assault me. Girls will understand what I mean. I was so comfortable being in his car and talking to him that it didn’t even occur to me until later that night that I should’ve been more on guard.
From that day until today, he’s never left my mind for one second.
Muiz: We didn’t even collect numbers that night. When I left her house, I started regretting, but I still had my last relationship to manage.
I’d broken up with my ex when I found out she’d been cheating for a while, but she was still harassing me to get back together. I just wanted peace of mind for a while.
But?
Gbemi: Some weeks later, he came to my house to ask about me.
He’d come some days before, when I wasn’t home and left a handwritten note with my maiguard. Nothing romantic. It was something like “Just so you know I dropped by. I hope your life is going fine.”
Muiz: When I finally met her at home, the first thing I asked for was her number. We went to a nearby eatery to chat for like an hour over chips and chicken. After that day, we talked on the phone regularly for months.
What were you talking about?
Gbemi: Nothing really. They weren’t long calls. I think the point was this constant need to check up on each other.
Muiz: One day, we talked about this bulb that just stopped working in my room. Another day, it was how I wished she’d come cook asaro for me in my house.
Gbemi, did you go and cook asaro in his house?
Gbemi: Before we got married, never.
Muiz: I tried my best to make her, but she no gree.
Gbemi: I was too busy making it every other day in my father’s house to come and continue the struggle in another man’s house.
So when did you accept that you loved each other?
Muiz: One day, I was on the phone with her when my friend, who was crashing at my place that week, told me to just ask her out. He was like the way I was smiling while talking to her was not normal.
I thought about it and realised he was right. She really made me happy.
I remember, when I met my ex, it was chaos from beginning to end. I liked her because she was crazy and made me feel alive. But with Gbemi, I have peace and it’s like I’m in heaven with God’s angels.
Gbemi: I always looked forward to our calls. They were short and sweet and left me feeling good about myself. It just got to a point when, once I saw his call, I’d drop everything to answer no matter what I was doing or who I was talking to. My siblings used to laugh at me all the time.
Also, one of the reasons why I never passed the talking stage with other guys was because they’d always make snarky comments. One time, I made a passing comment about my hair, and this guy responded that he hoped I wasn’t trying to get him to pay for it. Another one, we were at a restaurant waiting for our food when I grumbled about them not giving us garlic bread and water to just hold our belly. He responded that “Are you trying to impress me?”
But Muiz never made condescending comments like that. He was always sensitive and thoughtful. I noticed that very quickly.
[ad]
How did the asking out go?
Muiz: It took her a week to say yes. She kept saying she’d think about it, and she wasn’t sure she was ready for a relationship.
Gbemi: He was the only guy I ever dated. Before him, it was eternal talking stage after talking stage. I don’t count the guys I dated in school because those ones weren’t serious.
Muiz: Someone somewhere is telling people you were their girlfriend. Not knowing you’ve erased them from your history.
Gbemi: Sorry for them.
I was scared because I felt I liked him too much. I was already thinking of what I’d do if he broke my heart. I sha said okay after a while because he kept sending me gifts. Every day, he’d send me something small: a novel, a pair of earrings, a CD of my best series. I had no choice but to agree.
What was dating like?
Gbemi: Nothing changed for at least a year. Except that I went to his house sometimes. We mostly spoke over the phone.
He continued sending me small small gifts, but of course, not as often. I still have some of those gifts together in a box somewhere.
Muiz: It made me feel much better knowing we were exclusive. I just knew I could trust her to be faithful and that made me love her even more.
Gbemi: Then toward the end of 2013, I met his so-called ex and she did everything she could to frustrate our relationship.
What happened?
Gbemi: The first time I met her was at an event I attended with Muiz. The funny thing was I was admiring her from afar. I didn’t even know who she was, but she was dressed so beautifully. I was about to compliment her when someone introduced us, and she just snubbed me.
Muiz: Then I don’t know how she got Gbemi’s number, but she started harassing her with calls and threatening messages.
Gbemi: I had to block her.
Muiz: I thought she’d gotten over me. But the moment she found out I was in another relationship, she started her drama again. There’s no one I didn’t call to warn her, from her mother to her grandmother.
Gbemi: One day after we got married, we randomly walked past each other on the road, and she just shoved me back. It remained small, I would’ve fallen right on the road, and a bike zoomed past right after.
My whole body was shaking, my heart was banging. By the time I’d settled down, she was gone.
How were you guys able to marry despite her disturbance?
Muiz: We ignored it as best we could. It wasn’t something that was in our face all the time.
Gbemi: We also talked about it. I asked about their relationship because I wanted to understand why she was behaving like that. But I think that’s just her personality.
Did her behaviour scare you?
Gbemi: It did.
Sometimes, I’d think to myself, what if this babe tries to attack us in our home or sends boys to beat me or pours acid on my face? But then, I had to just calm myself down.
Muiz: I kept reassuring her and doing my best to caution my ex.
By early 2014, I knew I wanted us to get married as quickly as possible. I proposed in my sitting room one day, and as soon as she said yes, I went to meet her dad.
If you want to share your own Love Life story, fill out this form.
How did it go?
Muiz: Her dad told me, “Uncle, she’s my last born. You have to treat her like an egg.” He made me swear on my life that I would.
Gbemi: Muiz was intentional about everything. Our parents set a date for six months after the proposal to give us time to plan properly and raise money. At no point during this period did I even think about his ex. My mind was completely at peace because I loved him and I wanted him to be my forever.
What was it that made you guys so sure of each other?
Gbemi: For me, it’s his character. He’s a serious-minded person. He’s sure of himself and intentional. He made and still makes me feel secure.
He also always shows genuine interest in me and the things that make me happy. My career, hobbies, likes and dislikes? He pays attention.
Muiz: She’s smart and has always had her priorities straight. She’s good with work and money, but she also always puts me first.
Then, there was just this sense of trust between us. When I say something, she takes it like that. She doesn’t get suspicious without provocation just because I’m a man. I can’t give a specific example, but I really valued that.
What was life after the wedding like?
Gbemi: Beautiful. We had a great honeymoon period without the honeymoon. The ex tried her best to ruin things, but she didn’t succeed.
Tried to ruin things?
Gbemi: She was always showing up at events and putting undue attention on us. Or trying to get in touch with either of us through unknown numbers.
The worst was when she showed up at my office calling me a husband snatcher. It was so embarrassing. But more for her than me because no one really took her seriously.
Muiz: I felt bad that she was doing these things. Not just because of how uncomfortable it made Gbemi, but also because this was someone I dated for close to four years. Sometimes, I’d ask myself, “Did I do something wrong to her to make her act this way?”
But she cheated on me. I will never understand why she behaved that way after. Those were crazy times.
Did she eventually stop or you got the police involved?
Muiz: She did not o. We had to leave the country for her.
Gbemi: I’d been a customer service worker at an international airline for about eight years when in 2017, they transferred me to their office in Jordan. They paid for me to relocate and covered part of the costs for my spouse.
Muiz: It was a lucky break for us because we’d just found out she was pregnant before she received the promotion. In fact, we had to hide the pregnancy from the company. Let them not change their minds. You know these big companies can be funny at times.
Gbemi: Come and see us praying to God that my belly doesn’t become obvious before the trip finally happened. That’s how we escaped the crazy ex o.
We’re now in Canada with our own travel consulting business, so we’re grateful to God for how everything worked out.
Sweet. What was your first major fight about?
Muiz: We have two boys, and if we’ve ever had major fights, it was probably triggered by them.
Gbemi: We have very different approaches when it comes to parenting.
I’d always told myself I’d be the type of parent to understand my kids and talk to them like they had sense. Muiz is much more traditionally Nigerian, although he’s been taking some of my suggestions.
Muiz: At the end of the day, I believe discipline wins when it comes to children.
Gbemi: But I draw the line when it comes to shouting at them. I always disagree with that and intervene when I have to.
Muiz: We’ve never had a major fight outside of that. I don’t think we ever even argued before we got married.
How does a major difference like that affect your marriage?
Gbemi: I see it as part of the package of growing old together, so I try not to internalise it or make it about me.
He’s gotten better. I’ve noticed him grow much softer, especially with our second son. He’s much more willing to have conversations with them and get on their level.
Muiz: Parenting as a whole, how much time we devote to caring for the boys, takes a toll on our relationship. There are many times when, between work, the boys, and even school — because she’s studying for an MBA and I’m taking some courses — we don’t have as much one-on-one time as we’d like.
But I know one day soon, we’ll find ourselves retired and the kids will have moved out to start their lives, and we’d have all the free and peaceful time in the world. So I’m not worried.
If she’s too soft with them, it only balances out my occasional harshness.
Gbemi: The important thing is he’s a good father and his love shines through most of his actions towards them. And that’s where I come in.
Great. How would you rate your Love Life on a scale of one to ten?
Muiz: 10 because I can’t really imagine things being better than this.
Gbemi: 10. Our journey has been nothing short of perfect so far.
Check back every Thursday by 9 AM for new Love Life stories here. The stories will also be a part of the Ships newsletter, so sign up here.
The 66th Grammy Awards was on Sunday, February 4, 2024, and all the nominated Nigerian artists lost out on receiving awards. However, Burna Boy’s iconic performance at the ceremony offered some solace, and Nigeria’s Federal Minister of Art, Culture and Creative Economy, Hannatu Musawa’s attendance also caused a stir.
Why is Honourable HannatuMusawa trending?
Nigerians have had mixed reactions since photos of the minister at the award ceremony surfaced on social media on Monday, February 5. Some criticised the Tinubu government for wasting the country’s resources on an expensive ceremonial trip to Los Angeles.
Others brought up the minister’s previous NYSC ordeal.
What NYSC ordeal, you ask?
In 2020, ex-President Muhammadu Buhari nominated Musawa as the national commissioner representing the North-West geopolitical zone on the board of the National Pension Commission (PENCOM). Before her senate hearing for this post, Musawa wrote the NYSC seeking a replacement certificate after her copy was destroyed in a fire incident.
However, the NYSC wrote back saying the minister never collected her certificate. They refused to issue a new one, and instead, accused her of not completing the mandatory one-year service. This led to the Senate’s rejection of Musawa’s nomination.
Fast forward to August 2022, investigations revealed that Musawa approached the then Minister of Youths and Sports Development, Sunday Dare, seeking his intervention to get the NYSC to release her withheld certificate. When this attempt also failed, she wrote to the NYSC requesting to re-enroll for the outstanding months of her service year.
[ad]
Is Hannatu Musawa a serving corps member?
In August 2023, the Press and Public Relations Director of the NYSC, Eddy Megwa, confirmed that the minister was undergoing her mandatory youth service. He noted that Minister Musawa was in breach of the NYSC act that frowns upon active corps members taking on government appointments, confirming to the press that the minister had served for the past eight months. By this calculation, Minister Musawa had probably completed her NYSC service as of the 2024 Grammy Award ceremony, but there’s been no official communication to that effect.
Why was Honourable Musawa at the Grammys?
The minister attended the ceremony to support the country’s creative sector and celebrate the contributions of the nominated artistes. Through a statement by her SA on Media and Publicity, she said:
“I wish to applaud you all for making it this far in your music and entertainment careers. Nigerians celebrate you all for your contributions to the growth of the music industry in Nigeria and globally.”
Food inflation has shown Nigerians hot shege over the past few months. So, if you plan to visit a restaurant on February 14 with the LOYL, you might want to reconsider that choice. Imagine coughing out ₦87k on one meal, God, abeg.
You’ll spend a lot less if you enter the kitchen, and we know just the right meals to cook.
Red pancakes
Ditch the natural brownish pancake colour for something that speaks to the theme of the day. Exactly, colour RED. If red cake is a thing, who says you cannot serve red pancakes on Valentine’s Day? Find a simple recipe here.
Akara
Most Nigerians would rather buy from the roadside than make this meal in their house because making it is mad stressful. So when you take the trouble upon yourself and serve the LOYL that plate of hot akara, they’ll only think, “You went through all that stress for me?” Find a simple recipe here.
Pounded yam and egusi
Emphasis on “pounded” because no Nigerian meal screams “Labour of love” louder than pounded yam. Think about it, you’ll have to slice the yam, cook it and then pound it afterwards. You also have to make egusi because regular soup can’t work for this special day. Listen, there’s no way they’ll doubt your true love for them after this meal. Find a simple recipe here.
Homemade pizza
Another meal Nigerians love but hardly ever make themselves. So, when you take up the challenge and serve them flaming hot pizza from your own oven, they’ll know you rate them AF. We suggest you start practicing ahead with this straightforward recipe.
Where are our Zikoko Ships now?
Find out how three of our Ships are doing five years later:
Spoiler alert: it’s lovey-dovey
Jollof spaghetti
Pasta is a main character in every Nigerian love story, and restaurants know this. That’s why it’s always on the menu, and ridiculously priced too. So, enter the kitchen and cook the wickedest jollof pasta ever. Remember, we’re sticking to the red theme of the day, so avoid anything creamy, please. Find a simple recipe here.
[ad]
Small chops
This one will show them you understand that variety is the spice of a happy relationship. A basket of puff-puff, spring rolls, samosa, gizzard and mosa all home-cooked by you? They will know you have no intention of boring them to death in the relationship. Find a recipe here.
Red Velvet cake
What’s more perfect than treating your boo to a dessert that comes in the colour of the day? Just make sure you do all the baking yourself. That’s the only way they’ll know you went through it just to tease their tastebuds. If you don’t know how to bake, practise with this recipe today.
Imagine saying “Petit à petit, l’oiseau fait son nid” (little by little, the bird builds its nest) to your friend mid-convo, there will be no arguing your way out that you don’t understand the French language.
As a Nigerian living in Nigeria, it’s probably the only international language you’ll come close to learning. If you’re tired of Duolingo streaks or struggled with French classes in school, you should probably turn to proverbs. They’re fully formed sentences that can improve your knowledge of the language.
We took the trouble of compiling 15 French proverbs and their meanings.
On n’est jamais mieux servi que par soi-même
Translation: You are never served better than by yourself.
Meaning: No one handles your situation better than yourself.
On ne change pas une équipe qui gagne
Translation: One does not change a winning team.
Meaning: There’s no need to fix what isn’t broken.
Il vaut mieux prévenir que guérir
Translation: It is better to prevent than to heal.
Meaning: Better to take precautions than unnecessary risks.
Les chiens ne font pas des chats
Translation: Dogs don’t breed cats.
Meaning: Kids are mostly like their parents.
[ad]
Il n’y a que celui qui ne fait rien qui ne se trompe jamais
Translation: Only those who do nothing never fail.
Meaning: Success comes with a lot of failures.
Chat échaudé craint l’eau froide.
Translation: A scalded cat fears cold water.
Meaning: Experience is the best teacher.
Après la pluie, le beau temps
[ad]
Translation: After the rain, the good weather.
Meaning: Bad times don’t last; things will eventually get better.
La vengeance est un plat qui se mange froid
Translation: Revenge is a dish best-served cold.
Meaning: Don’t plan vengeance in the heat of anger or hurt.
Where are our Zikoko Ships now?
Find out how three of our Ships are doing five years later:
Spoiler alert: it’s lovey-dovey
Il n’y a que la vérité qui blesse
Translation: Only the truth hurts.
Meaning: You’ll only feel hurt if what’s been said is true.
A cheval donné, on ne regarde pas les dents
Translation: When given a horse, don’t look at its teeth.
Meaning: Never refuse an offer or gift given out to you with goodwill.
Vouloir, c’est pouvoir
Translation: To want is to be able to.
Meaning: If you want something bad enough, you’ll do everything possible to get it.
Quand le vin est tiré, il faut le boire
Translation: When the wine is drawn, it must be drunk.
Meaning: There’s no going back after you’ve made a decision.
Il n’y a pas de fumée sans feu
Translation: There is no smoke without fire.
Meaning: There’s always an explanation for everything.
Tout vient à point à qui sait attendre
Translation: All comes on time to the one who knows how to wait.
Meaning: Basically, be patient. Your time will come.
En tout pays, il y a une lieue de mauvais chemin
Translation: In every country, there is an area of bad roads.
Meaning: Even the best things in life come with their challenges.
Slowly, Nigerians are becoming a regular at the Grammys Awards and we love to see it. But how many are familiar with the Nigerian exploits at the global award show?
Take this quiz:
Questions
This is a question
One of these Grammy award-winning Nigerian musicians is a jazz percussionist?
One of them has been nominated six times and won nothing
The first-ever Nigerian to bag a Grammy nomination is ____
______ won the first-ever Grammy by a Nigerian in 1991
Who got their first Grammy nomination in 2022?
The Nigerian artist nominated for the Best Contemporary Gospel Album at the 2024 Grammys is known as
Tems won her first Grammy in 2023 under which category?
A Nigerian was a nominee on Beyonce’s 2025 “BEYONCE” album
One of them is a drummer
A music genre is a nominated song at the 2024 Grammys Awards
You got #{score}/#{total}
Congrats, you just made history as the first-ever Nigerian to win a Grammy for Best Zikoko Quiz Performance. You’ve made us proud mehnn. Afro-Quiz to the fucking world.
You got #{score}/#{total}
Come back next year, please.
You got #{score}/#{total}
You know what? Find something else to do.
Have you seen our Valentine Special yet? We brought back three couples – one now with kids, one now married and the last, still best friends – to share how their relationships have evolved in the last five years. Watch the first episode below:
So, you’ve done some introspection ahead of February 14 and in your heart of hearts, you can’t shake the feeling that tears of ecstasy should be one of the main characters in your Valentine’s Day special for the LOYL. If you ask us, we’ll say it’s doable.
We know just the right things you need to do.
Start by telling him he’ll cry
No, you’ve not taken away the element of surprise. This is the only way to set yourself up for success. Remember, men already see tears as a form of weakness, so the last place they want to do it is mid-coitus. But once you tell him your intentions, there’s a chance he’ll let down his guard. Now, get to work.
Oil up…But with Aboniki
If you’re serious about making a man cry in bed, you have to be willing to take one for the team. In this case, that means enduring the biting hotness of Aboniki balm spread in the crevices of your body parts. There’s no better way to set the mood. By the time you lean into him on the bed, his eyes will be wet from mentholated desire.
Attack his ears
The ear is an erogenous zone. So, you’re going for a mix of touch and truth here. Gently tug at his ear with your mouth, and bite it softly. He’ll be tickled at first, but you’ll get him to relax when you moan and breathe heavily into his ear. When he starts to reach for you and begins to mutter in pre-cum lingo, tell him the day’s dollar to naira rate. He’ll cry, but they’ll be tears of joy because he’d orgasm at that point too.
We interrupt this programme to ask: where are our Zikoko Ships now?
Find out how three of our Ships are doing five years later:
Spoiler alert: it’s lovey-dovey
And the soles of his feet
If the tears don’t come after working on his ear, go for the soles of his feet and put your tongue to work. This one might get a little loud, so you probably want to stuff his mouth with something and throw in a handcuff to restrain his hands. Next up, go crazy on his feet with your tongue. It’s like tickling, it always ends up in tears.
Bite his nipples
Start by twirling your tongue around the edges of his nipple. When you notice the skin taking on a semi-hard form, bite down softly and watch him let out that moan. But to get those tears, bite down as hard as you will a piece of shaki, and follow it up with more tongue twirling. He’ll go into a brief moment of shocked mute, then the tears will follow.
Use teeth
Look, forget people who say you don’t need teeth. If you want to stain your bed sheet with that man’s hot tears, we say teeth is where it’s at. Bite down softly on his odogwu, and just before he lets out a scream of pain, follow it up with the slurpiest glock glock 3000 you can manage. He’ll crumble in a puddle of orgasm-induced tears.
[ad]
Get on top
No better way to achieve peak vulnerability than staring deep into each other’s souls mid-mekwe, and realising that there’s no other person you’d have digging your well and cultivating your farmland. This is the only position where this will work. But be warned, you may also shed a tear or two with this one.
Post-nut adulations
In the rare chance that all of the above doesn’t work, read that man a Shakespearean poem or something heartfelt while he’s collecting his consciousness from the throes of pleasure. Hail his odogwu for a job well done, pet it even. And watch his eyes swell with tears of appreciation.
On February 4, 2024, Tyla won the first major award of her career, a Grammy for the just inaugurated Best African Music Performance category at the 66th edition of music’s most prestigious night. “I never thought I’d say I’ve won a Grammy at 22 years old,” she said as she accepted the plaque amid a rousing ovation.
The South African artiste was in stiff competition in a category that had Nigeria’s Burna Boy, Davido, Ayra Starr, Asake and Olamide as co-nominees. But her hugely successful 2023 single, Water, proved just enough to secure the win. SA’s pop princess has been at it for all of five years. While her meteoric rise to the top can be credited to the massive success of the sexy, orgasm-charged single off her upcoming self-titled debut album, Tyla, here’s a rundown of her seven other songs that should be on your radar.
Getting Late
Tyla released her debut single Getting Late, featuring South African record producer, Kooldrink, in 2019. With a catchy chorus — “Baby, I know it’s getting late” — Tyla tells her love interest she’s not one to waste time. It was her official introduction to the world and music lovers’ first taste of her velvety vocals, and perhaps, her general sense of urgency.
If you’ve ever wondered what Ariana Grande sounds like on an amapiano beat, this song is your answer.
Been Thinking
Tyla is trying to make sense of the all-consuming nature of love. She expresses infatuation and longing for a lover in the uptempo, rhythmic, two-minute track. You should put a spin on this if you love Tiwa Savage’s Pick Up.
Truth or Dare
This song is one of three released tracks off her self-titled upcoming album set for release on March 1, 2024. Tyla opens the three-minute-long track with a triple barrel question to a seemingly unserious love interest: “ Did you say you’re on your way? Why now? When you just went MIA?” By the time she gets to the chorus, all she wants to know is where her partner’s head is at and the sincerity of their intentions to her. This one is perfect for relationship people with partners who are moving funny.
[ad]
Butterflies
The intro treats listeners to a satisfying cocktail of Tyla’s velvety vocals backed by a piano. She sings about a love interest who sends her stomach fluttering with butterflies. “You give me butterflies, got me falling in the deep end of your disguise.” But she very quickly smacks her listeners out of fairytale la la land when she calls the lover out with, “So I fear this might be goodbye. I don’t need reparations, boy, bye.” If you’ve got a “Bye bye to fuckboys” playlist, this song should be on it.
Girls Need Love remix
Released in late 2023, Girls Need Love is that one song where Tyla states categorically that “I’m that GIRL”. She pulled in as a featured artist on yet another remixed version of the 2019 hit track by R&B sensation, Summer Walker. Tyla sings her heart out about how girls need intimacy and physical connection too, and should be able to communicate these desires without caving under societal expectations. When Summer Walker closes off her verse with “Girls can’t never say, Now, oh now, babe,” Tyla reinforces her message with the line: “If I come off as thirsty, know I’m just that.”
Water
The three-minute track leaves no room for guesses about its intention as it opens up with the intensely vivid chorus: “Make me sweat, makeake me hotter, make me lose my breath, make me water.” And then, it follows up with more orgasm-charged verses that make for a completely satisfying experience for listeners. The global standout hit, Water, takes a deep dive into the depths of romance, sex and orgasm. It’s the one track off Tyla’s discography that screams “horny” the most, earning Tyla her first Grammy nomination, and win. It also earned her her first Billboard Hot 100 feature, debuting at 67, and making her the highest-charting African female solo artist of all time. The hit single peaked at number 7 and has spent over 16 weeks on the chart — a huge achievement for a solo non-American singer with no features.
To Last
Released in late 2022, the verses of To Last carry a heaviness that drives Tyla’s not so subtle message of disappointment and betrayal by her first love. “Can’t beg for love to stay. Never thought you’d be my first heartbreak. Don’t know what more to say,” she sings. However, the sober and heartbreaking mood of the song is delivered with the chorus where she comes out with it and says her love interest never gave their relationship a chance, and in fact, didn’t want it to last. The melody is everything on this song, and anyone nursing a heartbreak will find comfort in this one.
The Grammy Awards 2024 was on Sunday, February 4, at the Crypto.com Arena in Los Angeles.
Despite the anticipation of Nigerians, Davido, Burna Boy, Ayra Star, Asake and Olamide all lost out on awards across different categories. Meanwhile, South Africa’s Tyla won the newly introduced and highly coveted Best African Music Performance category at the award ceremony.
Here’s a list of other big winners at the Grammy Awards 2024.
Best African Music Performance
Amapiano – Asake and Olamide
City Boys – Burna Boy
Water – Tyla WINNER
Unavailable – Davido Featuring Musa Keys
Rush – Ayra Starr
Best Melodic Rap Performance
Sittin’ On Top Of The World – Burna Boy Featuring 21 Savage
Every week, Zikoko seeks to understand how people move the Naira in and out of their lives. Some stories will be struggle-ish, others will be bougie. All the time, it’ll be revealing.
What are your earliest memories of money?
Francis: I visited my cousin when I was around seven and was shocked to see he had money saved in a kolo. The money must’ve been like ₦50, but it was a huge discovery because it just clicked in my head that children could have money.
Helen: It’s funny how kolo is my earliest money memory, too. I was about nine years old when I watched my mum break her kolo after I complained about my teacher flogging me for not paying school fees. She gathered the money and dragged me to school to cuss out the teacher.
You didn’t know children could have money?
Francis: It wasn’t a thing in my house. My siblings and I were never given money for snacks in primary and secondary school because there was always home-cooked food. My mum was something of a “money police.” If any of us were found with money, we’d have to explain where it came from. So, anytime relatives dashed us money, we immediately gave it to our mum out of habit.
On the other hand, my dad didn’t take things seriously like that. When I entered secondary school, he let me keep the small change from the errands I ran for him.
I’m now curious about what money was like growing up
Helen: There wasn’t a lot. I lost my dad at 6. My mum said he was a banker, and we were ballers when he was alive. But I have no memory of this.
When he died, his siblings grabbed his properties and pushed my mum aside because she “only had one girl”.
My mum — who was previously a stay-at-home mum — had to start selling clothes to survive. I remember she fasted a lot, but I realised later that it may have been because there wasn’t enough food for us. She was the OG independent babe, though: I never saw her ask for help or handouts from anyone. She taught me how to hustle and not wait for no man to use ₦2k to shakara me.
Preach it
Francis: Things were different for me. Both parents worked in the civil service, so we didn’t struggle. My mum was just stingy. You had to present a dissertation to convince her that you needed to buy a bicycle.
Screaming
Francis: My dad was the lau lau spender, and this caused clashes between him and my mum. He once bought two of those big DSTV satellite dishes for the two TVs in the house without telling anyone and paid for the premium subscription. These things just came out and were crazy expensive.
My mum felt vindicated when he had issues at work in 2006 and was transferred out of spite to another department where he wasn’t getting as much money.
Wait. Tell me about that
Francis: There’s a lot of “chop, make I chop” in civil service, and everyone is involved in it somehow. My dad worked in procurement and handled contractor bids. He didn’t have the authority to accept or reject a bid — that came from the higher-ups. But it was obvious the contractors either “settled” the bosses or inflated the cost so they could use the excess to “show appreciation”.
No one will come and tell you directly, but you can hear that Oga is sharing ₦10k with everyone in the department for the weekend. So, he always had extra money apart from his salary.
Interesting
Francis: I think my dad started discussing with his colleagues how one contractor was doing rubbish but kept getting renewed. I don’t have the full story, but his comments may have rubbed some people off the wrong way. He got transferred, and the cash flow stopped. We didn’t go broke, but there was no more calling Daddy to buy ice cream when returning from work.
I think I got the lau lau spending from him, though. In 2009, I started writing notes and doing assignments for people in uni for random ₦1ks and ₦2ks just because I’d finish my ₦10k monthly allowance in a week buying suya for babes or buying them food, as per baba for the girls.
Helen: Wow. But me I didn’t see your money to chop o.
Wait. You both met in university?
Helen: Yes. In 2013. He was a final-year student, and I was a hustling second-year student. I’d just started selling chiffon shirts in the hostel to supplement my ₦5k allowance. We met through a mutual friend and started dating soon after.
Where were you both financially at this time? How come you didn’t see his money to chop?
Helen: I was making approximately ₦10k monthly from my business. I sold far more than that every month, but the profits weren’t all mine because I bought the shirts from an okrika vendor and added a small amount of money on top, so it’d still be affordable.
About not seeing his money to chop, I wasn’t looking for his money, TBH.
Francis: She’s the one Neyo talked about in ‘Miss Independent’. I was broke then, though. My dad had just retired, so money from home wasn’t regular. Any money I made from doing assignments or billing any of my older siblings went into my project and trying to stay afloat.
But you had time to get into a relationship. Love it
Francis: Wetin man go do? Looking back, I realise it wasn’t a great time to start a relationship. In 2014, I went for NYSC in a different state, and my income was ₦24,800 — NYSC allowance + a ₦5k stipend from my PPA. We had to navigate long-distance, which was hard. And then she lost her mum and decided she didn’t want to be in the relationship anymore.
Helen: Ah ah. It wasn’t like that.
So sorry about your loss. What was it like, though?
Helen: It was tough because I had to become solely responsible for myself. My aunt from my mum’s side who could help was also struggling, so I was basically on my own. I remember looking for ₦50k to sort out something at school, which seriously bothered me.
Whenever we talked on the phone, he’d ask several times what was wrong with me, but I couldn’t tell him. I didn’t want it to look like I expected him to start giving me money. So, I just told him we needed to take a break.
Why did you think sharing your problems meant you were asking for money?
Helen: It was something I subconsciously picked up from my mum. Growing up, she was very particular about me not depending on guys. We could be watching movies together, and she’d point out how the actress felt indebted to the guy because he helped her. Or how the guy thought the babe was billing him simply because she was sharing her issues.
I had a similar experience with a previous “toaster”. We were talking on the phone, and I randomly mentioned that I needed to end the call because my charger had issues; I couldn’t charge the phone and stay on the call. He said something like, “We haven’t even started dating, and you’re already telling me your problems.”
Ah.
So, it was like a reflex reaction to lock up and solve my problems myself. I wanted to be in a better place financially before focusing on relationships. It was time to double my hustle.
How did that go?
Helen: I did all sorts. I sold perfume oils, plantain chips and chin-chin at different points until my final year in 2016. Then, a friend introduced me to social media management, and it was like my big break. My first job paid ₦60k/month. When NYSC came around in 2017, my monthly income had grown to ₦90k.
Coincidentally, NYSC posted me to the state he lived and worked in, and we picked up the relationship again.
Who made the first move to pick things back up?
Helen: I did. It wasn’t like we broke up and became enemies; we were still in touch. He was hurt, but we still talked, and I knew he wasn’t seeing anyone. So, I told him we needed to see, and we just talked it through.
Was this because you were in a better place financially?
Helen: Exactly.
Francis: We didn’t get back together until we properly discussed what went wrong the first time. And that’s how I understood that she needed to do it for herself because of where she was coming from.
To be honest, a part of me initially thought she wanted to give us a try again because I’d become something of a big boy. I’d gotten into product design and had a ₦100k/month job. But if there’s anything she chases, it’s how to make her own money. We’ve been married for three years now, and she’s still the same independent, strong head.
What was dating like the second time? Were there other money clashes?
Helen: Oh, there were. We didn’t have money conversations the first time. Add that to the fact that we became long-distance shortly after we started dating; we didn’t navigate situations like who pays during the date or stuff like that.
But then we started dating again, and he’d take me for dates weekly and insist on paying. He’d also buy gifts when coming to visit me. I thought it was too much and told him so.
Francis: Me, I was confused. I thought I was doing what was expected, but she didn’t like it. It caused some arguments because I thought she wasn’t being appreciative. I told my friends, and some of them thought I was a lucky bastard. Others suggested she had someone else giving her more money.
How did you both navigate this?
Helen: It took a while, but I got better at letting him know that I appreciated him wanting to take care of me, but I didn’t want to feel too relaxed or dependent. More importantly, I wanted to chip in too.
Francis: So, we developed a turn-by-turn approach to our dates. I’d pay today, and she’d pay the next time we went out. I didn’t compromise on gifting, though. I still bought them as regularly as I wanted.
What’s the most expensive gift you ever got her?
Francis: A piece of land just before our wedding in 2020. I knew she wanted to own land one day and had saved up about ₦200k for it. A friend told me about a really good real estate deal, and I thought it was perfect for her. The cost was about ₦1m.
So I told her about it and said I’d pay the balance. The ₦800k was money I’d gathered from a work bonus and other monies towards the wedding. But it was COVID year, and no one was doing big parties anyway, so it all worked out.
Helen: It’ll always be the most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for me.
That’s really sweet. How does money work in your home now?
Helen: We go 50/50 on everything. It sounds like we see finances as an individual thing, but it’s a joint feature in our lives.
Please explain
Helen: We have a joint account, and once we get our salaries, we send half of it to that account. We use the money in that account to settle our ₦650k/year rent, utility bills, food and other home expenses. The other half of our salaries is for each person to handle personal savings or other needs, including buying each other gifts.
Francis: Sometimes, if the joint expense is more than what we have in our joint account, we contribute equally from our savings to take care of it.
How did you decide this was what worked for you guys?
Helen: I’ve always struggled with depending totally on people. So, if he isn’t handling all the expenses, how do we decide who handles what? 50/50 seemed straightforward, and it’s worked well for us so far.
Does “so far” mean it could change in the future?
Helen: Maybe. Especially if we have kids. Right now, the plan is to get nannies so I can work. But if, for any reason, having kids reduces my earning power, we’ll have to revisit our 50/50 strategy to fit our new reality.
You mentioned personal savings. How much do you both have saved right now?
Francis: I don’t have savings. I still have a spending problem, and sometimes I run to my wife to borrow money till the month’s end. But to be fair, I mostly spend it buying gifts for her. She doesn’t ask, but gift-giving is what I do for people I care about.
There’s also black tax. I send ₦60k to my parents in a good month. Sometimes more. They’re old and always need one medicine or the other.
Helen: I have about ₦500k in my savings. It’d be more if this uncle regularly repays what he borrows with actual money rather than payments “in kind”.
I’m dying. It looks like saving comes easier to you
Helen: It does. Most of my interests aren’t capital-intensive. My idea of enjoyment is staying home alone and watching movies. Plus, there’s no black tax anywhere.
What do joint expenses in a typical month look like for you?
How would you describe each other’s relationship with money?
Helen: He has an “it’s for spending” mindset about money. I know it is for spending, but how you spend it also matters. I’ve tried to get him to use an expense tracker, but he says it’s too much work.
Francis: On the other hand, I think she needs to take money less seriously. Her scarcity mindset sometimes makes her forget that we aren’t doing too badly for ourselves.
How do you both reconcile these differences?
Helen: I went into our marriage expecting I’d be able to influence his spending behaviours directly. But that was a recipe for disaster. He thought I was nagging, and we had a bit of friction. But I’ve learned to leave him to it. He contributes his part to the home expenses, so I try not to overthink what he does with his money. I know his intentions are from a good place.
Francis: I jokingly call her the family accountant. I try to convince her to live a little, but her money habits don’t really hurt anyone, so we just take it a day at a time.
What’s something you wish you could be better at financially?
Francis: Investments. Saving doesn’t work for me because looking at the money is enough reason to spend it. But if it’s locked somewhere, I have no choice but to wait it out. I’m also wary of investments that will carry my money away, so I’m still carefully considering my options.
Helen: I’ll say investments too — specifically foreign investments. The way the naira is falling these days is enough to tell anyone that keeping money in naira won’t do any good.
Is there something you want, but can’t afford?
Helen: A house.
Francis: We have yet to make any concrete plans, but it’ll definitely be our next big project within the next five years.
How much do you think you should both be earning by then?
Helen: At least $1,500/month. I know several colleagues who work with international organisations, so that’s my next career goal. There’s a limit to how much a content strategist can make with Nigerian companies; I don’t want that to limit me. I’m focused on building a personal brand to pitch myself to my international startups.
Francis: Any amount in dollars is okay for me, really. The naira is terrible, and I feel like I could be earning ₦600k tomorrow, but my earning power would be the same as my current salary because of inflation. I plan to keep changing jobs till I get there.
How would you rate your financial happiness on a scale of 1-10?
Helen: 6. I’m doing okay, but I need to earn in dollars before I feel like I’m being adequately compensated for my work.
Francis: Also a 6. But my score is because I know I still have a long way to go to achieve financial discipline.
Editor’s note: Names have been changed for anonymity.
If you’re interested in talking about your Naira Life story, this is a good place to start.
You may not like controversy but those that let nothing fly past them will ace this quiz.
Take this quiz:
The infamous “What is the website of NSCDC?” question delivered one of these hits?
“Every single song was a hit back to back” sounds familiar
One of them banned Twitter in Nigeria in what year?
Someone went viral for slapping a police officer in 2023
The rumoured clone of one Nigerian president?
What was most notorious for scamming Nigerians of their money?
Once upon a time, something dragged away some ₦36 million from the JAMB Headquarters
The biggest Guinness World Record holder Nigeria has ever had went viral for ____
Which Nigerian artist pulled a resurrection stunt in 2023?
Who went viral for their arrest photo at the EFCC?
You got #{score}/#{total}
Is it true, your current affairs book is coming soon?
You got #{score}/#{total}
Not bad. You may be the next controversial thing, by the way. Keep in mind.
You got #{score}/#{total}
History makers know history. You? We don’t think history will be kind to you o.
Have you seen our Valentine Special yet? We brought back three couples – one now with kids, one now married and the last, still best friends – to share how their relationships have evolved in the last five years. Watch the first episode below:
In 1983, legendary musician, King Sunny Ade, made history as the first Nigerian artist to receive a Grammy Award nomination. Fast forward to 2008, recording artist, Sikiru Adepoju, topped KSA’s record by clinching the coveted award.
Not much happened for a while, but in the last eight years, some of Nigeria’s finest talents have managed over 20 nominations across categories. Here’s a breakdown of wins and nominations since 2017.
2017 Grammy Awards
The 2017 Grammy Awards ceremony was held on February 12, 2017, at the Staples Center in Los Angeles. Two Nigerians were nominated in two different categories.
Best Dance Recording
Kah-lo snagged a nomination for her efforts as a featured artist on Riton’s Rinse & Repeat.
Best Album
Wizkid was nominated as a featured artist on Drake’s album, Views.
Best Musical Theater Album
The British actress and singer, Cynthia Erivo, won the Grammy Award category alongside cast members who worked on the soundtrack album for The Color Purple movie.
2018 Grammy Awards
The 2018 Grammy Awards ceremony was on January 28 at the Madison Square Garden in New York City. Two Nigerians were nominated in two categories for their efforts as featured artists.
Best R&B Award
American artist, Tunji Ige, was nominated as a producer on Location, a record by Khalid.
Best Reggae Album
Timaya was nominated for his feature on Morgan Heritage’s Avrekedabra album.
2019 Grammy Awards
The 61st Grammy Awards ceremony was held on February 10 at the Staples Center in Los Angeles. Only one Nigerian artist made it to the nomination list.
Best World Music Album
Seun Kuti and his band, Egypt 80, were nominated for their album, Black Times.
2020 Grammy Awards
The 62nd Grammy Awards ceremony was held on January 26 at the Staples Center in Los Angeles. Burna Boy was the only Nigerian artist who made the nomination list that year, marking the beginning of his impressive run with the Recording Academy.
Best Global Music Album
Burna Boy was nominated as a standalone act for his album, African Giant. However, he lost the award to Angelique Kidjo.
[ad]
2021 Grammy Awards
The 63rd Grammy Awards went down on March 14 at the Los Angeles Convention Center in Los Angeles. There was no live audience due to social distancing amid the coronavirus pandemic. Two Nigerian artists were nominated across two categories.
World Music Album
Burna Boy’s Twice As Tall bagged a nomination, making him the first Nigerian artist to be nominated twice in a row. The nomination also marked his first Grammy win.
Best Music Video
Wizkid was nominated in the category for his efforts on Beyonce’s song, Brown Skin Girl. The nomination marked Wizkid’s first Grammy win by association.
2022 Grammy Awards
The 64th Grammy Awards ceremony was on April 3, 2022, at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas. It was an exciting year for Nigerians as four artists were nominated across categories, with Wizkid and Femi Kuti bagging two nominations each. Neither of them won.
Best Global Music Performance
Wizkid ft. Tems — Essence
Femi Kuti — Pà Pá Pà
Best Global Music Album
Wizkid — Made in Lagos
Femi & Made Kuti — Legacy +
2023 Grammy Awards
The Grammys returned for its 65th edition on February 5 at the Crypto.com Arena in Los Angeles. Two Nigerian artists bagged nominations. Tems won her first Grammy by association for her work on Wait For U.
Best Global Music Performance
Burna Boy — Last Last
Best Global Music Album
Burna Boy — Love, Damini
Best Melodic Rap Performance
Future ft. Drake and Tems — Wait For U
Best Rap Song
Future ft. Drake and Tems — Wait For U
2024 Grammy Awards
The Grammy Awards 2024 edition will be held on Sunday, February 4, at the Crypto.com Arena in Los Angeles. This time around, a newly announced Best African Music category by the Recording Academy gave room for more Nigerian artists to be nominated.
Best Melodic Rap Performance
Burna Boy — Sittin’ On Top Of The World
Best Global Music Album
Davido — Timeless
Burna Boy — I Told Them
Best Global Music Performance
Burna Boy — Alone
Davido — Feel
Best African Music Performance
Burna Boy — City Boys
Davido — Unavailable
Asake, Olamide — Amapiano
Ayra Starr — Rush
Fireboy DML and CKay earned a nomination each in the Album of the Year category for their efforts on Jon Batiste’s World Music Radio and Janelle Monáe’s The Age of Pleasure respectively.
Tems’ bagged a nomination in the Best Song Written for Visual Media category for her contribution to Rihanna’s Lift Me Up.
The race is on. It’s operation “Find love before Valentine’s Day”. Whether you intend to do that by entering someone else’s relationship isn’t the focus today. The focus is making sure your Valentine is a corporate girlie for these key reasons.
You won’t need to go over the top
She’ll be at work on Valentine’s Day, so no need to worry about spending the day at a resort or any crazy thing like that. What about after work, you ask? Traffic and the stress of capitalism will mean all she wants to do is sleep. Same applies to the weekend. Just get her a gift box and call it a day.
Or break the bank
She’ll appreciate anything you give her because she’s working class; she knows what it means to collect salary today and go broke the next.
You can easily be intentional with your gifts
Why buy a corporate girlie flowers when you can gift her a keg of fuel or bag of rice, and she’ll love you forever?
Behold our Valentine Special
We brought back three couples we interviewed in 2019 to share how their relationships have evolved in the last five years. This is the first episode:
You’ll get a gift too
One thing about corporate girlies is they aren’t stingy. Even if it’s singlet and boxers they can afford, best believe you’ll get something.
You can cheat in peace
Another good thing about her having to work on Valentine’s Day is you’ll have the time to take your other babes out. The “C” in corporate girlie stands for “considerate”. They just want to see other babes win too.
They won’t have time to cheat
The fact that she even has time to date you with all she has going on is commendable. If she ever gets tired of your cheating ass, she won’t even bother to do you back. She’ll just leave.
You’ll level up by force
How would you be with a corporate girlie and you aren’t killing it in your own field too? They aren’t about the mediocre life. So beyond Valentine’s Day, you’ll definitely level up or go home.
We got seven relationship people to share the dumbest things they’ve done for love and their stories are the only proof you need to confirm that truly, “Na mumu dey fall in love.”
But February is the only month in the year when we don’t judge people who have been, and are still, a fool for love.
Funmi*, 30
I went to undo my locs within 24 hours of getting it done because my guy at the time didn’t like it. My locs should be six years old now, but because of that stupid boy — whom I later found out had a series of ongoing relationships inside our relationship — they are now only three years old.
Dotun*, 28
I bought a dinner dress for my girlfriend with part of my school fees. Then I gave her my brand new phone and lied to my brother that it was stolen with my school fees. He gave me all his salary for the month and still got a new phone for me. She was my second girlfriend, and I intended to marry her three years after school. That never happened.
Feyi*, 31
Because of love, I travelled from Porto Novo (the Capital of the Benin Republic) to Ile-Ife at about 5 p.m. We got to the Sagamu interchange at about 10 p.m., and there was an ongoing armed robbery on the road. Nobody knew I was in Nigeria. My parents thought I was in Porto Novo… na me still end the relationship las las.
[ad]
Barakat*, 28
I borrowed ₦200k through a loan app for a guy I was dating. It ended in breakfast, and I never got my money back from him. It took me four months to repay the debt, and we had even stopped talking before I could complete it.
Damola*, 33
I travelled to Lagos from Ekiti to visit my man, but I didn’t get to see him until after three days. I was all alone in his house. When he finally came, he started ordering me around, and I obeyed every command. I cooked, cleaned, warmed water for his bath, and then he went out, saying he might not return that day. At no point did he ask how I was or how the trip to Lagos was. I always feel like slapping myself anytime I remember letting a man treat me like that.
Fisayo*, 24
I came to Lagos from Ife to visit a boy without informing my parents that I was back in town. My uncle saw me, but he wasn’t sure it was me after I denied him. He dialled my number on the spot, but thankfully, my phone wasn’t with me. I was holding a phone, so that was enough to convince him I was someone else. He went on and on about how God created people in twos.
John*, 48
I left Lagos for Osogbo on a Friday evening after work to pay my girlfriend a surprise visit at her school. Got there and met another dude in her hostel room. From the looks of it, they were cohabiting and were an item. She said he was her cousin who was squatting till he got his own hostel apartment, but it was an obvious lie. We all slept on the same bed together, and I left the next morning feeling like a grade 1 mumu man.
Valentine’s Day will come and go. But you can have an anti-Valentine’s Day, and have a better time than all the lovey-doves out there, with these tips.
Swear off love songs
No space for love songs here. Start by sticking to Omah Lay and Passenger to set the tone.
All-black everything
Be the black sheep of the season while everyone obsesses over red and white. We’re talking all-black everything from your head to your toes. It’s not your concern who thinks you look dangerous; you’re a threat to love.
Behold, our Valentine Special
We brought back three couples we interviewed in 2019 to share how their relationships have evolved in the last five years. This is the first episode:
Embrace the single life
No better time to ride harder for singledom than on Valentine’s Day. Opt to work from home and spend the whole day indoors with yourself.
Birds of the same feather
Hit up your fellow Valentine’s Day haters. Miserable loves company, trust me.
Throw a singles-only party
Then all of you should throw the liveliest party to rival whatever the relationship people have going on with their ₦350k flowers.
Stay off the internet
Disconnect for a day so nobody can oppress you.
Go on a solo trip
Channel your inner Pelumi Nubi and create your own adventure.
Forget waxing lyrical in love letters, if you want your sweet and sappy words to send butterflies into the tummy of the LOYL, rom-com speak is where it’s at.
That’s why we combed through the most popular ones for rom-com quotes that’ll have your Valentine weak in the knees. The lines are obviously tested and trusted.
“I burn for you” Daphne, Bridgerton
It’s a simple, straight to the point confession that you’re willing to walk through hellfire for them.
“You’re perfect. Everything about you is perfect” — Isoken, Isoken
If you’re a person of few words, this line packs a punch. Simple, you only have eyes for them in this lifetime and the one beyond.
“Your love is like the wind. I can’t see it but I can feel it.” — Lola, A Million Tears
With this, they’ll know that after God, you’re the only one capable of giving them agape love.
Behold our Valentine Special. We brought back three couples we interviewed in 2019 to share how their relationships have evolved in the last five years. This is the first episode
“I’ve come here with no expectations, only to profess now that I am at liberty to do so, that my heart is, and always will be, yours.” — Mr Darcy, Pride and Prejudice
They shouldn’t have to be in doubt that your heart 100% belongs to them. This quote is just about showing proof.
“I am who I am because of you. You are every reason, every hope and every dream I’ve ever had.” — Noah, The Notebook
In other words, there’s no you without them.
[ad]
“I would rather have had one breath of your hair, one kiss from your mouth, one touch of your hand, than eternity without it.” — Nicholas Cage, City of Angels
Another message that tells them life is a vast ocean of nothingness if you’re not the one setting their soul on fire.
“I’ll never let go, Jack. I’ll never let go.” — Rose, Titanic
Replace Jack with their name, and this message tells them that there’s no principality or weapon fashioned against y’all’s relationship that’ll prosper.
“I’m not a tree; I’m a forest.” — Aminu, The Men’s Club
This is a reminder that you have an endless supply of yourself to give to them.
“You jump, I jump.” — Rose, Titanic
You go where they go. Even to the afterlife…
“When you realise you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you want that moment to start as soon as possible.” — Harry, When Harry Met Sally
It’s the perfect message to send when you suddenly realise they’re the missing puzzle in your life.
We’ve established that Nigerian kids were crackheads growing up, because how else do you explain setting the house on fire and going to bed?
Now that these problem kids of yesterday have grown into the adults of today, the only question that comes to mind is: What dumb shit are they doing now?
We have the answers.
Someone needs to check on this brother
For food only
A finished man
Welcome to Spiderman
At your big age?
You don’t fear for your life
You like prison???
E really won wound you
Have you seen our Valentine’s Day special??! We brought back three couples we interviewed in 2019 to share how their relationships have evolved in the last five years. This is the first episode:
Love Life is a Zikoko weekly series about love, relationships, situationships, entanglements and everything in between.
What’s your earliest memory of each other?
Lola: We met at work in 2017. My former company hired him to do some photography work for three months. The first day he came in and I saw him, I knew I had a crush. It was his eyes. They were so pretty, but he never looked directly at anyone.
Dennis: I noticed her right away. I passed by her cubicle, and she was so focused on her computer, typing God knows what. She’s the fastest typer I know.
Did you get to talk on that first day?
Dennis: Not really. Their CEO introduced me to everyone, including her. Then I went to my corner to figure out what they wanted me to do.
Lola: We didn’t speak until a few days later when we directly worked on a project.
And then, you fell in love?
Lola: No. We didn’t date until after he broke off the contract barely a month in and left our company.
What do you mean “left”?
Dennis: That “project” wasn’t part of the specific deliverables in my contract. Because I didn’t accept to take on tasks outside of the contract, the CEO started overcriticising the work I did. Everything was suddenly rubbish, and it was seriously affecting my anxiety.
Lola: When I noticed he was having issues with our usually mild-mannered CEO, I texted him just to check-in.
He told me when he started considering leaving, and we talked about his anxiety. However, at the time, I didn’t understand that he meant depression.
When did you figure it out?
Lola: Shortly before we became official.
Dennis: But first, we were friends for a while. She became part of my support system. She’d always check in, even when she was dating some other guy.
Were you considering dating her instead, Dennis?
Dennis: Yes. Who wouldn’t?
But I felt she was too good for me. I thought she was only reaching out all the time out of pity. She’s really nice like that.
Lola: Men can be idiots when they want to be sha.
How did you eventually get together?
Lola: I had to tell him I liked him, really liked him.
This was mid-2018 after an almost one-year relationship crashed because I wasn’t invested. I liked the guy but not enough to move as fast as he wanted. He wanted us to move in together, to get married at least a year later and all that. I didn’t think I liked him enough for all that. When he noticed I wasn’t invested the way he wanted, he left, and I moved to Dennis.
Dennis: I was shocked when she told me she liked me a lot. It was over the phone, but I believed her because her voice sounded so sincere. I just started crying.
Lola: I listened to him sob over the phone and didn’t even realise when tears started streaming down my eyes.
I think there and then, I should’ve known I was in for a rollercoaster.
If you want to share your own Love Life story, fill out this form.
Tell me all about it
Lola: He started texting me a lot, asking what I liked and didn’t like. He was so sweet and poetic in his texts. You could sense that strong aim to please, and I was completely taken by it, trying to answer as openly as possible.
Dennis: The texts were mostly anxiety-driven. I wanted to take her out, and I wanted to do it perfectly. So I had to know precisely the type of food and ambience she liked.
Lola: That first date was nice even though we weren’t exactly dating yet. Afterwards, we didn’t meet much, but we’d text almost 24/7 with phone calls in between.
Then I noticed him withdraw. After some months, the texts became less frequent to the point when I was almost begging him to text me.
Dennis: My mum died after a long illness just before Christmas of 2018, so…
I’m so sorry
Lola: He didn’t tell me that until shortly after New Year 2019. By then, I was frustrated by him. When I heard this, my feelings made a U-turn, and I was heartbroken for him. I knew he was really close to his mum.
Dennis: I felt bad for pushing her away during this time, but I really couldn’t help it. After recovering, I asked her to be my girlfriend, fully expecting her to say no.
Lola: But I said yes.
And for that year, dating meant sharing Ubers to our offices. He lived in Egbeda, I lived in Ikeja, and we both worked on the island, so he’d hail a cab, and then pick me up on the way. We’d mostly make out in the back seat until we entered traffic and I was too shy to continue.
That sounds nice
Lola: That was our life until COVID came and we all had to stay indoors. He lost most of his photography and content gigs and my salary was slashed in half. He called me one morning during lockdown and broke up with me.
Like a phone call?
Dennis: I was in a dark place and didn’t want to have to keep calling or texting through all that. It was really hard for me to do. But I didn’t want her going through emotional stress on top of how the pandemic was most likely already affecting her.
Lola: He didn’t say all this. He just said, “Let’s break up.” I was confused, but he was adamant, and you could even hear the irritation in his voice. No explanation; he just broke up with me and that was it.
Behold our Valentine Special. We brought back three couples we interviewed in 2019 to share how their relationships have evolved in the last five years. This is the first episode
And you got back after that how?
Lola: In October 2020, he called me crying.
Dennis: I missed her too much and hated myself for making us separate. A part of me thought she’d call or text to change my mind. I think by the day after I broke things off, I’d changed my mind.
She never called.
Lola: Why didn’t you call?
So he called you crying, and then what?
Lola: I was confused. I had to drag my sisters into it, and of course, they advised me not to take him back.
I didn’t listen.
Dennis: I kept calling her to apologise and explain myself. I came clean about my depression and how I was already seeing therapists.
[ad]
Lola, how did you feel about this revelation?
Lola: I’d already figured out the depression bit when we used to text a lot before his mum passed. He’d constantly question himself and his whole existence. Sometimes, it felt like self-awareness and an urge to be a good person. Other times, it was scary, like he didn’t like himself at all.
This time around, maybe because I was older, I wondered if I really wanted to be involved in that. But I like him a lot, so I convinced myself I couldn’t just leave him because he was going through things.
Dennis: We didn’t get back together until early December. But then, Christmas was a mess because I was broke AF after COVID, so we didn’t have a decent meetup until around March 2021. In July, we went to Ghana together.
Lola: We were so happy during this period. It was a huge high for him. But by September, he was low again. And I physically experienced his depression for the first time.
What happened?
Lola: Literally, nothing. He could hardly get out of bed in the morning, let alone work or talk to me. We were pretty serious at this point, so I’d started staying over at his place a couple of weeks at a time. Omo, I had to move back to my father’s house at a point o.
Dennis: I was ashamed for her to see me like that. So her leaving was better for me in a way.
We were so happy together that year that I was sure I wouldn’t be depressed for a long time, but I guess my mental health didn’t respect my actual emotions.
How did this affect your relationship?
Dennis: She stopped taking my calls for some weeks and when she did, she’d ask me if I was feeling better and that was it. I respected her need for space.
Lola: I was confused. I knew what I saw — the inactivity, the lack of concern or emotion — was the depression. But it also made me a bit insecure. What if it was me? What if he was tired of having me around and couldn’t say it?
Dennis: Around November, I went to her place and we talked about it. I told her what my therapist told me about managing my important relationships, how I wanted to do everything within me to make us work.
Lola, I’m curious about how you processed this
Lola: I had to start therapy myself and that helped me personally. It pushed me to ask myself questions and to put myself and my health first before thinking about my feelings for him. 2022 was great for us. It was a lot healthier because I understood him and I understood myself better.
In 2023, we had to take breaks twice. But 2023 was also shege year, so I’m not so worried about it.
Have you guys thought about what the future might look like?
Dennis: A lot. And there’s a lot of uncertainty. But I know I love her, and I’d be lucky to have her with me forever.
Lola: It’s crazy that we talk about having kids more than we talk about a wedding, but I guess it’s because neither of us is very traditional.
Do you want to have kids?
Lola: Yes, definitely.
Then there’s my mum — who loves him like the son she never had, by the way — who’s always asking when he’ll “do the right thing”. Of course, she doesn’t know about the depression. Until we figure that out, we’re not in a hurry.
Dennis: Sometime in 2023, we started taking joint therapy, and that has helped a whole lot.
Lola: Honestly, I’d recommend it even to couples who feel confident about both their mental health and their relationship.
How would you rate your Love Life on a scale of 1 to 10?
Lola: Hmm. 7? 7.5? We’ve been so intentional with making things work. But I get afraid sometimes.
Dennis: 7.5. I feel lucky to have her.
Check back every Thursday by 9 AM for new Love Life stories here. The stories will also be a part of the Ships newsletter, so sign up here.
Have you just written the West African Senior School Certificate Examination (WASSCE) with your school or as a private (GCE) candidate? Here are two simple ways to check your result online after the West African Examination Council (WAEC) releases it.
How to check your WAEC result on the official website
First off, if you took the exams through your secondary school, they must’ve given you a Smart Identity Card (SIC) beforehand. This SIC contains a result checker PIN and a serial number. With them, you may proceed to the steps outlined below:
Step 1
Visit the official WAEC website on your mobile device or computer.
Step 2
Click on the menu, and select the “Check my result” option. You’ll be redirected to the official WAEC result checker website.
Step 3
Input your 10-digit WAEC examination number. It’s your seven-digit centre number followed by your three-digit candidate number, and you can find this on your SIC. It should look something like this: 4167856799
Step 4
Input the year you took the examination. A drop-down menu will display different years to choose from.
Step 5
Select the type of examination. You’re either a school or GCE candidate.
Step 6
Scratch your SIC to enter the Personal Identification Number (PIN). Then input the voucher serial number.
Step 7
Click “Submit” and wait for the results window to pop up.
Note: If you misplaced your SIC or are a GCE candidate without access to one, you can purchase a WAEC result checker scratch card available online via e-commerce websites like Jumia, Konga, Opay and Quickteller. You can also get a physical copy at bookstores near you.
How to check your WAEC results via SMS
You can also check your WAEC results via SMS on a mobile device.
Step 1
Go to your text messaging app and input 32327 in the recipient box.
Step 2
Input the following information in the dialogue box:
WAEC*ExamNo*PIN*ExamYear
It should look like this:
Waec*4250386090*100055641983*2024
Step 3
Click on send and wait for a return text message containing your result. This option is available to MTN, Airtel and Glo subscribers, subject to a service charge.
If you don’t receive your result, try again or consider logging a complaint with the support team. Send the the exam type, your examination number and year to WAECsupport@fleettechltd.com
Have you seen Elsa Majimbo’s glow lately? The melanin is popping, her Kenyan meets American accent has fans in a chokehold, and our girl be out here narrating her life like a telenovela, all while slathering on shea butter like it’s going out of style. She’s showing us how to give our skin some much-needed TLC.
If you’re still conflicted about how to give your melanin skin the glow it deserves, you should take notes.
Show some skin
Even though you’re doing it for you, people of the world have to witness the result of all the hard work you put into looking this good. Spaghetti tops, off-shoulder cuts, crop tops and mini skirts should be your go-to fits.
Use shea butter
Our forefathers were on to something when they coined the iconic “Black and Shine” term. But Elsa knows the shine doesn’t happen by accident. It happens by deliberately slathering shea butter everywhere. Your neck, shoulders, arms, belly, armpit, EVERYWHERE.
When people see your picture and drop comments like, “Even if you’re plantain”, you know you’ve done a good job.
And top with Vaseline for extra shine
You don’t stop at shea butter. You have to go in with a generous scoop of petroleum jelly everywhere, to make up for spots you might’ve missed when you applied shea butter.
Don’t forget the body oil
In case you’re not paying attention, “too much shine” isn’t a concept in Elsa’s books. It’s the only reason why body oil is a must in a lineup that already has shea butter and petroleum jelly.
Throw in some glossy lip finish
You’ll never catch Elsa with a no-shine, non-glossy lip finish. So, leave that matte. You don’t want to have em lips looking ashy while rocking the shiny body of a black goddess.
[ad]
The body mists
You don’t want to be the black and shine that walks into a room smelling like day-old akara oil. Instead, you want compliments that go from “You’re glowing” to “You smell so nice”. That right there is the power of layering. So, on top of all that butter and oil, throw in a generous razzle dazzle of body mist.
And some perfume too
Surely, you know Elsa doesn’t leave her business in only one capable hand. If the duo of shea butter and vaseline for shine weren’t enough, why should body mists for scent be? Exactly. Layer that shit up with some perfume that leaves you smelling like money itself.
Valentine’s Day is a few weeks away, and if you’re conflicted about the gifts that’ll have the recipient grinning from mouth to ear, we’ve got you covered. You won’t find a more comprehensive list.
Valentine’s Day Gifts for Men
Men can act like they don’t care, but trust us when we say these gift ideas for men will answer their many “God when?” questions.
An underwear set
Forget all the bashing on social media, men appreciate underwear. Just go the extra mile by getting the best quality and designer brands.
Hard currency
With a dollar selling for ₦1500 at the parallel market? See, that man will love you forever. You just made offsetting some of his bills easier.
Cook-a-storm
There’s something they say about men and the way to their hearts. If Hilda Baci cooked for 100 hours, double the number up and fill his refrigerator with all sorts of local and intercontinental delicacies.
A spa appointment
Nigerian men are seeing shege seven days of the week in Tinubu’s era. A fully paid spa session will show him how thoughtful you are.
A customized jersey
If he loves football, the only other way to his heart apart from food might be his club’s original jersey that comes with his name on it.
Valentine’s Day Gifts for Women
If you don’t know, Nigerian women are tired of plastic flowers and all the other low-effort gifts that show zero intentionality. Consider these Valentine’s gift ideas for women in Tinubu’s Nigeria and the flames of their love will burn hotter than an agbado grill.
A pasta date
Nigerian women love their pasta. Whether it’s creamy, bolognese, stir fry or village, just make sure pasta is on the restaurant menu as you plan to make that dinner reservation for two.
Hair
Nigerian women are tired of the long hours required at hair salons, hence the love for wigs. So, add another quality wig to her collection; she can never have too much of it.
A romantic getaway
Your woman deserves to see the world and who best to make it happen? It doesn’t even have to be Santorini or The Maldives, she’ll take a trip to Benin Republic or Ghana, as long as it’s well thought out.
Jewellery
When you think of jewellery as an investment option for your woman, you’ll be open to spending millions on their collection. And she’ll appreciate you for giving her a safety net. For starters, consider VanCleef.
A year’s worth supply of sanitary pad
Sanitary pads have joined the inflation race. For an essential need that needs to be replaced every month, you’ll be taking a huge burden off her finances.
Valentine’s Day Gift for Friends
We’ve already established that Valentine’s Day isn’t just about couples. Your platonic relationships should also enjoy some attention and there’s no better way than surprising your friends with a Valentine’s Day gift. If you’re conflicted on what to buy, these suggestions should get you started.
A photoshoot session
We need to normalize friends hitting the studio for professionally shot portraits. Not every time couples and birthday celebrants. Friends have memories that must be preserved too.
[ad]
A personalised hamper
Hampers don’t have to go out during the Christmas season alone. Curate a personalised hamper and include items that show you know your friends better than the lines on your palm.
Or a personalised photobook
After your family members and lover, you most likely have the most shared memories with your friends. Show them just how much these moments mean to you by documenting them in a photobook. They might cringe at first, but don’t worry, it’ll be one of those things they’ll cling to when japa comes between y’all.
A weekend getaway
A day or two to do batshit crazy things with friends? Yes, please. Tell them to pack their bags and join you in a short-let apartment you’ve paid for. It doesn’t necessarily have to happen on Valentine’s Day, especially if it falls on a work day. You could push for the weekend right after.
Valentine’s Day Gift for Family
So you want to make it an extra special celebration of love by including your family members? So sweet. Consider these Valentine’s Day gift ideas.
A family portrait
If y’all don’t already have one, now’s the perfect time to drag everybody to a studio. By everybody we mean the grandparents, the parents, siblings, grandkids and great-grandkids. Send a personal framed copy to all the adults on Valentine’s Day.
Family house makeover
If you and your siblings have moved out of your parent’s home, that place becomes your family house. Surprise your parents and siblings by giving the house a proper makeover that’ll make it a cute spot for when y’all are around.
Or a land to build one
Especially if your parents stay in a rented apartment. Join hands with your siblings and make it the family project that tightens the bond between y’all.
Personalised gift box
Imagine the joy you’ll spark in each of your family members when a dispatch rider calls them on Valentine’s Day to deliver the special box from you. You can go the extra mile by including a handwritten note in each box.
It’s a few weeks to Valentine’s Day and while the relationship people are prepping to steal the show again, it’s important to note that we’ve got fathers and sons, brothers and buddies, and a whole squad of men who deserve to celebrate their bromance on this day too.
I caught up with seven Nigerian men to hear their thoughts on being there for their fellow dudes on the iconic lovers’ day.
From the big bro who paid for his sibling’s cinema date to the dude planning to send an anonymous box to his heartbroken cousin, their stories will have you in varying degrees of “God when?”
Dewunmi *, 31
My elder brother would always buy gifts for my mum on Valentine’s Day. Started right when we were in secondary school. He’d save up his pocket money during the weeks leading up to the 14th. It was really cute. Fast forward to when he got into uni and got more pocket money, he started including me in his plans. He’d buy chocolates, perfumes or food for me and my mum on Valentine’s Day. It went on for some time until it just stopped. I mean, he still buys stuff for both of us, but he doesn’t put as much importance on Valentine’s Day anymore.
Jason*, 25
My cousin just got served breakfast, and I know he’s hurting even though he’s trying not to show it. He’d been with his ex for about three years, and I honestly thought he’d propose soon, but I guess life happens. I’ve watched him celebrate Valentine’s with her in the last three years, so I’ve just been wondering what the day will look like this year. Thankfully, it’s a work day and that might help him get his mind off things, but I also want to do something nice for him. I’m thinking dinner at one of these fancy spots on the Island, or I might just send him an anonymous gift box with a hidden love letter. LMAO.
Hassan*, 24
I have a WhatsApp group just to keep in touch with some of my friends and be there for each other. We’ve had a lot of wholesome conversations about toxic masculinity and how we should be able to do more for each other as bros. Last Valentine’s, we did a simple exercise in the group where we all sent voice notes saying nice things about each other. We plan to hang out this year sha, but if that’s not possible, we’ll send each other gifts.
[ad]
Deji*, 29
Our last born started dating in January 2023. Since then, I’ve always thought to myself “Where this boy dey see money to fund relationship?” But I assumed his girlfriend understood his finances before saying yes. A few weeks to Valentine’s in 2023, I noticed little man was constantly in a mood around the house. He was also coming up with the weirdest money requests for things he had to pay for in school. It didn’t take long to figure out that he was trying to fleece us. So, I confronted him and gave him a pep talk before asking what he needed money for. He then said he wanted to do something for his GF for Valentine’s Day. It wasn’t like I didn’t know; I just wanted him to be free enough to ask. Two days to Val’s Day, I sent him ₦15k for a cinema date. I’m guessing he’s saved up enough for this year, but I still plan to send ₦15k. He doesn’t know this sha.
Tunde*, 40
My birthday is February 14, and it has added some colour to how I approach the date. Growing up, I didn’t make a fuss about my birthday. I was the kid who wanted to stay indoors and enjoy all the good treats with my family. This changed when I got into uni. My friends found it a little too exciting that my birthday falls on Valentine’s Day, so they always made me do something. Even when I tell them I don’t have money, they’d readily contribute and make sure we celebrate. So the tradition sort of stayed with me from uni. Now, my friends know that if every other thing fails on February 14, they can always show up for whatever Tunde* is doing for his birthday. And that’s the main reason why I now anticipate the day. Lots of brotherly love to go around.
Dapo*, 30
My dad celebrates me and my brothers every Valentine’s Day. It’s one of those things he does that makes me want to be a great dad too. I remember him taking my mum, my siblings and me out every Valentine’s Day when we were young. When it fell on a weekday, we missed school. It took me a while to stop seeing February 14 as another public holiday. Now that we’re all older, and some of my siblings are married, we don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day as a family anymore. But one thing I know we’ll always get every February 14th is a text message from my dad saying how much he loves us.
Jerry*, 25
I moved in with my uncle after he lost his wife last year. His kids are abroad, so it’s only him in the house most of the time. I always get the sense that he feels lonely, especially during festive periods. He’s not the type that goes out a lot; he just stays in his study, reading books and newspapers. I wish I could take him out on Val’s Day, but it’s a work day and I’m not sure I’ll have the time. I’ll probably buy something nice for him. Would be nice for him to know someone cares.
If you’ve ever watched a Kannywood movie or spent time around people from Northern Nigeria, you’ll catch them throw in a proverb or two when they talk, to spice things up.
Like Nigerian proverbs in Igbo and Yoruba, Hausa proverbs elevate the conversation for both speakers and listeners. So we sifted through hundreds of proverbs and selected 15 to get you started.
Kowa yayi hakuri zai samu riba
Translation: Anyone who is patient will profit.
Meaning: Good things come to those who wait.
Tsare gaskiya ko da wuta aka saka ka
Translation: Keep to the truth even if they put you in the fire.
Meaning: Embrace the truth even when it’s hard AF.
In za ka gina ramin mugunta gina shi gajere
Translation: If you’ll dig a hole of wickedness, dig a shallow one.
Meaning: Be careful when you scheme against others because you just might rope yourself in.
So daia gujia’n makafo ta kono, na biu sai shi chita dainya
Translation: Once the blind man’s groundnut is burnt, he’ll eat it raw next time.
Meaning: Experience is the best teacher.
Hannu daya baya daukan jinka
Translation: One hand cannot lift a hut.
Meaning: Teamwork makes the dream work.
Ko ba’a gwaada ba, gatari ya san dutse
Translation: Without a trial, a hoe knows a stone.
Meaning: Experience is the greatest teacher.
Kworria ta bi kworria, en ta bi akoshi sai ta mutu
Translation: The calabash follows the calabash. When it follows the wooden basin, it gets broken.
Meaning: Basically, no go dey do pass yourself.
Komai yayi farko zai yi karshe
Translation: Everything that has a beginning has an end.
Meaning: No condition is permanent.
Dukawa’n wada ba shi hanna ka tasshi da tsawonka
Translation: Saluting a dwarf by bowing will not prevent you from rising to your full height again.
Meaning: Aspire to always do the right thing.
Rama ba mutua ba
Translation: Being thin is not dying.
Meaning: Don’t judge by appearance.
[ad]
Mai tambaya ba shi bata, sai dei asheerinsa ka tonoa
Translation: He who asks does not go wrong, but his secret is dug up.
Meaning: Be cautious when asking for and receiving help.
Madaki shi ya san enda rua ke zubar mashi
Translation: The owner of the house knows from where the water drips on him.
Meaning: No one knows your reality better than you do.
Gishiri nema (na yi ma) mai’n kadde daria’n rana, randa rua ya zo gishiri ya ji kumia
Translation: Salt laughs at shea butter while the sun shines, but when the rain comes, it hides its head.
Meaning: Last last, na everybody go chop breakfast.
Woni tsuntsu ya ke gudu rua, awuagwa rua ta ke nema
Translation: Some birds avoid water. The duck searches for it.
Meaning: We don’t all have to like the same things.
Mutum ba shi soka’n chikkinshi, saanan shi komo shi yi kirari
Translation: A man does not stick a knife into his stomach and boast about it.
It’s 2024. Why are you still going to Google for generic love messages to send to the LOYL, when Afrobeats stars have dedicated their lives and discography to expressing love in innovative ways?
If you don’t know where to start, we’ve dug through your favourite hits for the very best lines.
“My baby, my Valentine / Girl, na you dey make my temperature dey rise”
This opening line of CKay’s Love Nwantiti straight-up makes it clear how perfect it is for Valentine’s Day. After expressing how your lover’s love keeps you warm in this cold world, the song goes on to say, “If you leave me, I go die, I swear / You’re like the oxygen I need to survive.” But this only works for people you love to death.
“Na you I wan retire with, my love”
Oxlade composed Ku Lo Sa for long-distance relationship folks. But this is a straightforward yet sexy line anyone can use to say they want to grow old together with their babe.
“You are my woman / My perfect human / You make my world feel so right even sometimes when I’m wrong”
What else articulates everything a person should be to their lover more than these lines from Asake’s Mogbe?
Source: Spotify
“You’re the one I want o / Before my liver start to fail”
Davido goes on to say that if he ever leaves his babe, water should sweep him away, then declares that his babe’s love is so sweet, he must experience it even if it won’t be for long. Listen to Davido’s Assurance for more inspiration on how to show devotion to your babe.
“They say love is blind, but I dey see am for your eyes”
Use this to appreciate your lover’s ever-present love. Nothing says, “I see the depth of your feelings towards me” more than this. Thank Davido for this line from Aye.
“Nothing fit distract me for Lagos / For January, I give you my money / Ego oyibo, ego oyibo, ego oyibo /For February, I put you my baby”
In four bars, Chike’s Ego Oyibo will help you assure your lover that your bond is stronger than Lagos babes, and all your foreign currency is for them every day of the month.
“I know say you be my healer / Nobody t’ole yawa”
If your babe heals your soul and no one can put an asunder between the two of you, this line from Seyi Vibez’s Cana is how you let them know.
“Uloma, I dey on my ten toe”
This is a declaration that you’re fully committed, grounded and loyal to your babe’s government. Only they can make you feel this way, according to Young Jonn on Xtra Cool.
“The way you do fantastic / Have to put on glasses / Make you no blind me with this your body”
What you’ll be saying with this text from Burna’s Tested, Approved & Trusted is that the beauty of your lover is new every morning, like the sunrise. As it should be.
“It must mean I’m on your case, for me to come out / It must mean I’m at the door / I want to show you my world”
Do like Tems on Me & U and send this to your lover with a plane ticket to a cool baeacation spot. If not, which world do you want to show them?
Peter Enehe, the latest Nigerian Guinness World Record (GWR) aspirant, is a visual artist who wants to break a record for the longest caricature marathon.
To beat the current record of 77 hours set by Indian artist, Hariom Kumar Singh, in 2017, Peter plans to draw for 90 hours. Here’s what we know about his attempt so far.
When did he start?
On December 9, 2023, Peter shared that GWR had approved his application and given him the go-ahead to attempt to break the record.
The drawing marathon officially kicked off at around 6:30 p.m. on Thursday, January 25, 2024, at Chinbell Luxury Hotel and Suites, Palm Springs Road, Lekki Peninsula Il, Ikate, Lagos. So far, he’s drawn Nigerian celebrities, politicians and supporters who showed up at the venue to cheer him on.
A brief timeline
On Friday, January 26, Peter hit 24 hours of his 90-hour goal. He drew over 20 caricatures within this period.
On January 28, at precisely 9:15 p.m., Peter hit the 77-hour mark, to beat the current world record.
At the time of publishing, Peter has drawn for over 86 hours and has four hours left to hit his 90-hour mark.
[ad]
Support from Nigerians
Since the caricature drawing marathon kicked off on January 25, friends and family have flooded social media with encouraging words for Peter.
Students have also visited the visual artist to show support, and he drew caricatures of some.
A year and eight months after Nigerian adventurer, Kunle Adeyanju, successfully rode from London to Lagos on a motorcycle, UK-based Nigerian, Pelumi Nubi, has been inspired to make a similar trip — this time, by car.
She’s already visited 80 countries across six continents, so the seemingly impossible task is in capable hands. Here’s everything we know about the road trip.
Photo source: Instagram/@pelumi.nubi
Why is Pelumi embarking on this trip?
The trip is an important one to 29-year-old Pelumi for four reasons: She loves adventure, wants to inspire other female solo travellers, especially by driving representation among black female solo adventurers, and she simply wants to show people what’s possible.
“As a traveller, I wanted to do something quite adventurous. It was something that was in the books for me. We also don’t see a lot of solo black female travellers. It’s just like, representation matters. It’s important to see people do things and just open your minds to what’s possible. Some people don’t know it’s possible to go through London to Lagos by road,” she revealed during a podcast interview on Friday, January 19, 2024.
But that’s not all. She was also inspired by Kunle Adeyanju’s aforementioned 2022 solo trip.
“He did it by bike two years ago. I was on the phone with him and mentioned how it was so cool what he did.”
How long will the trip take?
Pelumi plans to traverse 17 countries in two months, and explore every city and country on her way.
Her transatlantic journey will pick up from England and take her through France, Spain, Morocco, West Sahara Desert, Mauritania, Senegal, Gambia, Guinea, Sierra Leone, Liberia, Mali, Burkina Faso, Cote d’Ivoire, Ghana, Togo, Benin, and finally, to Lagos.
She’s expected to arrive in Lagos at the end of March.
[ad]
When does the journey begin?
No official announcement of a commencement date has been made, but tweets suggest the last week of January. On Wednesday, January 24, she shared a video of her car going through some modifications for the long journey ahead.
The next day, she shared a tweet indicating that the start date is just a few days away.
Her previous road trips
Photo source: Instagram/@pelumi.nubi
Prior to this trip, Pelumi has travelled by road from Lagos to Ghana twice. She’s explored Namibia for two weeks and gone on a road trip from London to Lake Como, Italy. These experiences have served as test runs for her latest and most ambitious adventure yet.
How is she funding the trip?
During her podcast interview, she revealed that the entire trip will cost $15,000 – $20,000, covering fuel, accommodation and other essential needs.
A year of planning and saving up personal funds have made Pelumi’s adventure a reality. However, she still seeks support from brands looking to partner.
Is she receiving any support?
Pelumi’s trip has received attention from fellow Nigerians, travel enthusiasts and the internet community through the hashtag, #London2LagosByRoad.
Interest is expected to pick up once she starts making stops in the different countries and cities.
The biggest women-only festival in Lagos is BACK. Get your tickets here for a day of fun, networking and partayyyyy
Vendors have started to fill social media with their curated gift boxes, and that’s all the sign you need to know Valentine’s Day is around the corner.
We can debate why the death of one prehistoric saint means we have to finish all our money later. Today, let’s discuss how to draw the line between being a stingy lover and spending too much money as a 9-5er in Tinubu’s Nigeria. We got seven 9-5ers to weigh in.
Look at your salary
When you’re in love, you naturally want to go all out to put a smile on the face of your partner. But as a salary earner, that salary is supposed to take you till the next salary day. So, before you order that gift box, calculate how much you can comfortably spend without resorting to begging for food or trekking to work for the rest of the month. Then add a little extra for emergency expenses.
— Enoch, 29
Make a budget and compare it to your usual expenses
You should have a monthly budget, or something to track your expenses so you know how much you typically spend in a month.
Make a budget for that Valentine’s gift and then compare it to what you’d usually spend in a month. If it’s more than 70% higher than your normal monthly budget, consider revising your plan for something less expensive, preferably within 30% – 50%, depending on how generous you plan to be.
— Mariam, 32
Leave some wiggle room for inflation
A good perfume that cost ₦10k in 2023 might cost ₦15k now. It’s not you. It’s Nigeria. So even if you have a budget, keep in mind that you might end up spending a little extra. But try not to completely veer off your budget.
— Kevwe, 22
Plan early
Things become more expensive by the minute these days, and gifts tend to become even costlier around Valentine’s Day. It’s salary week, so it won’t hurt to start planning and making your purchases now.
— Omoh, 25
Are there cheaper alternatives?
Let’s assume you want to buy your babe a fake Van Cleef bracelet for ₦10k. Why not go to Yaba and buy the same bracelet for ₦5k? Both of them are fake, anyway.
Considering cheaper alternatives is like killing two birds with one stone. You create a memory and spend less while at it. Plus, cheap doesn’t mean tacky, so package it well.
— Charles, 36
Is the person even worth it?
Ask yourself: Am I and this person dating exclusively? Do they see me as a talking stage? Will the person even match my energy?
For me, how much I spend depends on how important the person is to me.
— Bayo, 26
Get creative with your gifting
Roses are great, but is it roses I will eat? Instead of spending ₦50k on that, consider creative practical gifts like food or fuel. The person might appreciate it more, and you’ll spend less. You can also gift joint experiences like an outdoor picnic, rather than dinner at an overpriced restaurant.
It might still be January, but these men have already set plans in motion to make Valentine’s Day special for their loved ones and significant others.
Demola*, 40
I’m not seeing anyone, so it’ll be my first Valentine’s Day single in a long while. But I’m excited because it’s my mum’s birthday. My siblings and I are planning a surprise. We’re very intentional about the party because we want it to be as memorable as it possibly can for her. We’ve reached out to some of her high school and uni mates, and she has no idea. We also have this cute photo wall with pictures from her childhood that we plan to install. I know I’m going to shed sweet tears on that day sha.
Biodun*, 45
My wife and I have not celebrated Valentine’s Day in a long time, with the pressure from work and raising the kids. It’s generally not easy to carve out time for ourselves. But this year, I want my wife to feel like the days when we started dating. We always made such a big deal of Val’s Day then. We’d wear similar outfits, go out with friends and go hard on gifts. Since our kids are old enough to stay with their grandparents now, we’ll spend two days at a nice hotel on the island. Just the two of us. I plan to drive her from work down to the place. She won’t suspect a thing until that day.
Toba* 33
I know I’ll want to do something that involves being at home. Might just order our favourite pizza and drinks, and chill in our living room. I’m still thinking the whole thing through, but I know food must be involved.
Gbotemi*, 31
I don’t have any ghen ghen thing planned. I want to write a handwritten love letter and put it in her bag. I used to write love letters to her when we started dating and we were both students. I even continued while I was serving. I’d visit her in school and write a love letter that she’d wake up to find in random places like her purse and phone cover. Capitalism has kinda taken that away from us. But I’ll return to the roots this Valentine.”
Ife*, 29
Our relationship is in a complicated place right now, and I’m the problem. Valentine’s Day is a working day this year, but I intend to get her a gown. I saw it on my timeline a while ago and made a mental note to buy it for her. I’ve got more exciting plans cooked up at the office too.
[ad]
Michael*, late 20s
My girlfriend and I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day. Before you judge, it’s not because we don’t care for each other but because it’s a few weeks between both our birthdays. Hers is February 2nd, and mine is March 2nd, so we focus on our birthdays instead. I try to get her gifts that she’s asked for in the past. Preferably, a request she’s almost forgotten. Last year, I got an artist to make an illustration of her as a waterbender. She’d told me she’d like something like that about two years before. I’ve not concluded on what I’ll get this year, but I’m thinking of a written note and a big teddy bear. She’d mentioned wanting one a few months ago, and I teased her about it. I think it’ll be nice to see her reaction when I give it to her.”
Hassan*, 29
Me and my babe have built a culture around Valentine’s Day. Instead of an all-out celebration, we choose to see it as a reminder of how far we’ve come. We’ve had some issues lately, and even though we’ve talked and trashed things out, she still thinks I’m harbouring resentment against her because she was at fault. For Val’s Day, I want to plan a simple dinner as a reminder of our love, whether or not we are on good terms.
Ayomide*, Early 30s
It’s our first Valentine’s Day celebration as a couple, so I’m considering a special dinner date. Also, her phone has been bad for the longest time, so I’m trying to get her a new phone ahead of the day. I’m caught between an iPhone and a high-end Google Pixel phone, but the exchange rates have made things pricey. I don’t know if I can pull it off. Her birthday is in March, so there’s also that to think about.
It’s finally salary week! If you count a few more days, you’ll land right on February 14, AKA Valentine’s Day. While a fancy dinner, romantic getaway and customised gift box may seem like well thought-out ideas, we can’t say they reflect the pressing needs of the average Nigerian at the moment.
Everywhere choke, and people are going through it. But these items might make life a little easier for the people you hold dear.
Rice
Rice is the most consumed staple in Nigerian households, so you know there’s a problem when a paint bucket sells for as high as ₦6000. The LOYL may not ask for it, but they’ll appreciate a bag of rice better than that customised mug you’re discussing with a printer right now.
Fuel
Everyone with a car or generator has been going through it since Tinubu yanked off fuel subsidy. Your loved ones could use that 25 litres of fuel or you can just offer to fill up their tank.
Medical supplies
Drug prices have joined the inflation race, and prices have shot up since the exit of pharmaceutical giants like GlaxoSmithKline. If you’ve got loved ones on life-long medications, chances are they can use some help offsetting their bills right now.
Dollars
In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, you can present the dollar bills as a money cake or rolled up in a gift box. Either way, you’ll be making the person smile to the bank, and every Nigerian can use that right now.
A grocery gift card
Food items are also in the inflation race. Everything has doubled in price, and there’s no guarantee you’ll meet the same price at your next grocery run. So, do you see why the LOYL will appreciate a gift card to stock up on supplies?
[ad]
A CV revamp for international gigs
If your partner isn’t complaining about being underpaid by a Nigerian employer, you probably know a friend or relative who is. Now how can you come through for them with thoughtful Valentine’s Day gifts? Pay for a CV revamp that’ll land them dollar-paying international gigs.
Rechargeable fans
A heatwave is depriving people of quality sleep right now. Even if your loved ones aren’t saying it to you, they’re tired of using dusting powder. Unfortunately, it’s not the best time to purchase electronic appliances in Nigeria thanks to inflation. Come through for your people with that rechargeable fan.
Navigating loss is never easy. No matter how old our parents get, we’re never really ready for when they’ll leave the earth. I was discussing this with a friend when they revealed their grandmother’s rather strange request: She didn’t want anyone to spend on medical bills if she ever became seriously ill.
Intrigued, I got on the phone with mama’s carer, and with her help, got mama (75) to share her reasons.
My children think old age has affected some parts of my brain, so I make sure to repeat the same statement at least once a month: You people should let me die if I ever fall terminally ill.
I’m 75 years old, and in my lifetime, I’ve seen friends and family members battle sicknesses for years. They pile up huge medical bills for their family, and eventually still die. The death that strengthened my resolve not to go the same route was my husband’s.
He died in 2018 at 71, and he was in and out of the hospital for four years before that.
His health battle started with a mini-stroke in 2014. He was admitted, and doctors said, “Oh. Thank God, it’s nothing serious.” That was until they found cancer in his chest during routine scans. Again, they said it wasn’t too serious because it hadn’t advanced much yet.
A year and several chemotherapy sessions later, the doctors had changed mouth. Something about the tumours moving to other body parts. My children gathered money and took him overseas for better treatment. No one told me how much it cost, but I could see in their eyes that they were stretched thin financially and emotionally.
About three years after the initial diagnosis, my husband was declared cancer-free. We did thanksgiving at church and even gave away food items to less privileged people in gratitude.
Six months later, my husband slumped. The cancer was back, and it caused his kidneys to fail. He had to include dialysis to his long list of medical procedures. This time, my children came to ask me if their father had any money saved up somewhere.
He passed away soon after. I was heartbroken. After all we went through, it seemed like we only delayed the inevitable. I don’t want to put my children through the same thing again.
So, I’ve decided I’ll die at home. I take blood pressure medication and pain relievers for my arthritis, but if I ever develop a terminal illness or a sickness that requires long-term treatment, I’ve told them not to take me to the hospital and just care for me at home. I’ve lived long enough already. I’d rather die than become a financial burden. If they go into debt and sell their properties to keep me alive, but I still die due to old age, what use would it have been? Instead of going through surgery or chemotherapy, isn’t it better for me to cross over peacefully?
I think my children still don’t take me seriously even though I’ve been saying this since their father died, but I won’t stop reminding them. Maybe the next step should be to tell them that my spirit won’t let them rest if they make me suffer my last days in a hospital.
I’m not scared of death, and they shouldn’t be too. Everyone has to go at one point, and I prefer to go in a way that won’t burden anyone. I’ve had the privilege of seeing my children marry and become successful, with their own children. What more does anyone want?
Forget that celebrities receive a torrent of DMs from fans. They also often slide into other famous people’s inbox. Imagine Adekunle Gold sliding into Don Jazzy’s DM to beg for a job as a graphic designer. Hard to believe, right?
That’s why we combed through the internet archives to find these seven celeb interactions that went down in the DMs. Which ones were successful and who got aired till eternity? Let’s find out.
Vee Iye
Ex Big Brother Naija housemate, Vee Iye, landed a lead role in Funke Akindele’s Prime Video debut, She Must be Obeyed. But did you know she had to shoot her shot in the DMs. After the series premiered, Vee shared a screenshot of her exchange with Akindele who graciously obliged her request.
Mayorkun
In April 2021, American singer-songwriter, T-Pain, discovered the request folder on Instagram. Apparently, he thought all messages were supposed to go into his direct message inbox, not into a request folder. T-Pain shared a video of all the celebrities he’d unintentionally ignored and somewhere in the flood of DMs was our own Mayorkun. The singer had sent a “Bro! Big fan!” message that never got a response.
[ad]
Spyro
The Who’s Your Guy singer has been on a relentless mission to get Hollywood actress, Meagan Good’s attention via the DM, without success. Spyro first slid into her DM in 2021, expressing interest in working with her. He never got a response. He returned two years later with an even stronger proposition of his undying love.
“I have come again, my love. I know you don’t know me, but my love for you knows no bounds. I will always love you, Meagan. I am blown now and ready to settle down, and it’s you I want before Casava starts to age.”
After the DM exchange went viral, Spryo acknowledged Tunde Ednut who’d also posted the screenshots on Instagram, and thanked him for bringing his dream of being with Meagan a step closer to reality.
Nengi
The BBNaija star announced on national TV that she once slid into ace music producer, Don Jazzy’s DM, and he responded.
“I’ve always loved Don Jazzy. I’ve sent him a DM once, but I honestly cannot remember what the content of the DM was. It was such a long time ago,” Nengi said during a conversation with fellow housemate, Ozo.
Davido
Baba Imade sparked joy among fans in 2020 when he announced that American rapper, Nicki Minaj, would be on his album, A Better Time. But here’s the interesting thing. That collaboration exists because he shot his shot while under the influence of alcohol.
During an interview on Beat FM, Davido narrated how he’d gone clubbing after recording the song and texted Nicki on a whim.
“So I took my phone and DMed her. I said, “Nicki, I got a song for us. It’s gon’ go number one, I promise you” in those exact words. The next morning, I saw a message from her that read, “Send it.” The next day, she sent it…”
Portable
The singer was head over heels after his first-ever DM interaction with Tiwa Savage in February 2023. He’d sent a DM to the singer, showering prayers on her. Tiwa didn’t just respond to his message, she sent a voice note. In typical Portable fashion, he shared a screenshot of the interaction online.
Adekunle Gold
AG Baby slid into Don Jazzy’s Twitter DM multiple times when he was still hustling. At the time, he was a graphic artist who wanted to join the Mohits team to design album covers.
“Good am Mohit Lord, I’m thinking I cud be of GREAT help to the artistic growth of MOHITS. I’m a graphic artist of magnitude. I do album arts.” AG Baby would also send multiple song links, begging the producer to listen and share. He was mostly aired, but once got a “thanks bro” response. Adekunle Gold released the “embarrassing” screenshots in 2020 in an email to his followers.
Love Life is a Zikoko weekly series about love, relationships, situationships, entanglements and everything in between.
What’s your earliest memory of each other?
Nnenna: One Saturday in May 2018, I saw a new female friend’s Instastories where she was hanging out at this get-together. I texted her, and she told me this guy I knew was relocating. I was shocked and wanted to say goodbye to the guy, so I ran there. Only to find out this girl was lying just to get me to leave my house.
Anyway, the hangout was fun. There were snacks and lots to drink, so I stayed.
That’s how I met Basil. He was one of the guys hanging out there. We started chatting randomly, but I ended up moving to a different guy and kissing him. Later that night, the hangout moved to someone’s street. Basil was there, and the first guy I kissed wasn’t. Basil and I ended up making out that night.
Basil: We kissed for a while. I got her Instagram handle. We talked for a while too. She went home. That night I slid into her DMs, and we started stalking each other on Instagram and SnapChat. More on Snap after a couple of days.
Did you know about the other guy she kissed, Basil?
Basil: It eventually came out because the guy was an asshole. The moment he knew I was starting to like her and talk about her, and we were going to be a thing, he started running his mouth.
We run in the same circles. He’s a friend of a friend of a friend, so somehow, he was always in my house.
Nnenna: The guy was an idiot. Can you believe he had a girlfriend?
I told Basil about the kiss some weeks after that night. That’s when I heard that the guy had been using me to boast. He even started trying to invite me over for things, whether it was drinks or a hangout or to come to his place. I would send screenshots to Basil telling him to call his “friend” out. Someone who already had a girlfriend, SMH.
How did the drama play out?
Nnenna: Nothing much happened once the guy noticed I was ignoring him. I just stopped hearing from him or seeing him around when I visited Basil or any of our mutual friends.
Basil: Some of my guys confronted him. He eventually got angry and started avoiding us.
Nnenna: I didn’t think too much of it. Basil and I were going strong. I felt like I was completely in love with him because he made me feel special. We hung out a lot and were always texting or calling when we weren’t together. I loved that I had his full attention.
It was easy because he wasn’t working at the time, and I was just starting an internship, so we had all the time and energy in the world. Then, he told me he was going for his master’s in England and he probably wasn’t coming back to Nigeria.
Ahh. What did that mean for your blossoming relationship?
Basil: My japa plan was in motion a long time before we met. I wasn’t even looking to enter a relationship when we started liking each other, so I was conflicted for a while. But refusing a route out of Obasanjo’s country because of love was something I didn’t feel was an option for me. My parents definitely wouldn’t have heard me out.
When I told her, I was so sure she would cuss me out and then block me, but she didn’t.
Nnenna: I wasn’t that strong. This was a few months after we met, and I was already falling hard. I cried myself to sleep the night he told me. But over the phone, I formed hard guy. I thought he was breaking up with me, so I said, “It’s alright. I understand.”
A part of me felt he just used me for cruise because he knew he wouldn’t be here for long. He said, “This isn’t over between us. I want us to make this work.” But in my mind, I was like, “This boy is a liar, ahh.” I didn’t think long-distance relationships were realistic at all.
What happened after the big reveal?
Basil: I continued calling her every day until I got busy with travel preparations and all. I noticed she was withdrawing from me in terms of how open she was during our chats. Normally, she’d be so detailed about everything that happened in her office. How her supervisors were exploiting her for basic errands. How some woman kept looking at her anyhow. How her dad doesn’t take her work seriously. How the commute was draining her soul.
After I told her about my trip, we started having slow, drawn-out conversations that felt more like we were mourning the relationship. It was bittersweet because I knew it meant she really liked me and would miss me. I was just happy she kept taking my calls and staying on them for hours even when we wouldn’t say a word to each other.
Nnenna: I was crying all the time. It was like I was a newlywed whose husband was going off to war or something. I couldn’t even tell my parents why I was moping around the house all the time. They didn’t know about the relationship. They didn’t even think I should be having one so young.
I’m an only child. My friends didn’t understand why I was so sad because I barely knew him. He wanted me to go with him and his family to the airport on the day of his departure, but I didn’t. I told him I’d meet up with him, and then, I turned off my phone the whole day.
If you want to share your own Love Life story, fill out this form.
But why?
Nnenna: I didn’t think I was strong enough for that. I also didn’t want that to be the way I met his family for the first time. Lastly, I still thought it was goodbye forever, but a part of me also wasn’t ready for the closure.
Basil: I was crushed. I cried as I left my family to go check in, and they thought it was because I would miss them. No, I was heartbroken.
Nnenna: We didn’t speak to each other again for months.
Basil: I was angry with her for breaking my heart.
Nnenna: I literally felt the same way. See life.
How did things pick back up?
Basil: She just WhatsApped me one day after like three months, asking how school was going.
Nnenna: I missed him. I was angry he didn’t reach out, but I figured I’d make the first move, and if he didn’t return my energy after a while, I’d chop my L and withdraw. I thought, at the very least, we could still be friends.
Basil: To be honest, I hadn’t reached out to her because I was so overwhelmed with the workload in those first few months that I couldn’t even think. The moment I saw her WhatsApp, it was like God was telling me he still loved me. I grabbed my phone and texted her back. That’s how we kicked things back up.
So a long-distance relationship? How did that work?
Basil: I told her I wanted her to be my girlfriend pretty early on. While we were in Nigeria, we actually never made it official.
Nnenna: That was funny because, before him, I always said I’d never take any guy seriously who didn’t ask for a committed relationship point blank. Now, I know you can always tell when something is serious. Action is stronger than words.
After he asked me to be his girlfriend, we started talking about how I’d join him in London. I started applying for scholarships up and down. I needed something fully funded because I knew raising money for me to relocate wasn’t part of my parents’ plans. I must’ve applied over 200 times in that first year, but nothing reasonable came through.
Basil: In the meantime, we did a lot of talking, video calling and stalking each other on Snapchat. I “virtually” went along with her to most of the events she attended.
We still have daily calls and check-ins and virtual dates. The pandemic really helped us because the tech world stepped up with cool new ways to help people connect virtually. We loved it when Netflix Party became a thing. We enjoyed all those virtual museum tours that became available during that period too.
Nnenna: We’d have most of our meals together over Zoom, and when MTN wasn’t being our opp, it really helped us feel like we’re part of the meaningful aspects of each other’s lives.
We should do that more often actually. I miss that.
Have either of you ever been tempted to move on with someone within reach?
Basil: Yes. All the time. I second guess our relationship all the time, especially with pressure from friends.
But it never lasts. I just like her too much at the moment. We’re so connected because we always communicate. I see her every day even though we’re not even on the same continent. Our relationship feels very real, and I constantly long for her, so it’s difficult to let go. Not that I want to.
Nnenna: We talk about it a lot too. We always reassess where we stand with each other. Sometimes, a guy would flirt with me. I think he’s really cute, someone I might date. But the next thing I know, I’m telling Basil about him and laughing it off. I just wish it was easier to travel or relocate as a Nigerian. I’ve had my visa application denied four times for no reason. It’s hell, and everything is so expensive.
Basil: It’s like the universe is making it harder because we both want it so much. Every year, one family member or the other gets their visa approved on the first try.
Nnenna: Sometimes, I’m scared we might end up moving on from each other, but I don’t want that day to come. My parents always tell me I’m behaving like this because I’m still young. They say things like, “You’re wasting your youth on what may never be.”
[ad]
How do you feel about their lack of support for the relationship?
Nnenna: I don’t know how I feel about it. Sad? Worried? I know they’re reacting out of fear because they see me constantly on my phone or laptop, caught up with some guy who has an established life across the ocean. They’re worried I might get hurt.
But I just know how Basil makes me feel seen and loved all the time.
Basil: My parents get like that too sometimes, but it’s not as bad because I also have to speak with them over the phone. I used to get this vibe that they didn’t think I should be so serious about a girl who was still in Nigeria. My mum liked to ask, “Haven’t you met any nice Nigerian girls in London yet?”
But since 2023, they’ve come to realise I’m serious about our relationship. I’m already making plans to return to Naij for the first time since I left, just to see her again. I’ve been saving for it. The plan is to come in the summer and get away together for up to a week.
What are the chances of an in-person relationship anytime soon?
Nnenna: I don’t know. I thought for sure I would’ve joined him by now. But now, I’m wondering where I got that certainty from knowing I have no substantial funding from anywhere.
Basil: Last month, I asked her to marry me.
Nnenna: We’re not officially engaged yet. I haven’t told my parents or friends, and we don’t have a ring. Only us and his parents know. It feels wild, but I’m excited. I’m scared of the unknown but excited still.
Basil: I’m scared too. I have no idea what I’m doing. But we go run am.
A long-distance marriage?
Basil: God, no!
With us married, it’d be easier for her to get her visa approved and to get both our families to support us in cash and kind. Of course, we’ve both been saving for a while too.
Nnenna: We’re not rushing to do the wedding, but once we do, we’ll go ham on my relocation plans.
Have you had any major fights so far?
Basil: The number one thing we fight about is when I try to “lecture” after she vents about something. This is an old one because I’ve come to learn my lesson and stop “mansplaining”, as she calls it.
Nnenna: Urggh. In the first year of our relationship since he left, I’d rant to him maybe about a work issue, and he’d start telling me how to fix it like I’m not thinking straight. He’d be like, “Don’t react like this. Take a breather. This is why this is happening. Have you made a plan to solve that?” I’d get so worked up because obviously, I know I’ll figure it out once I’m not angry anymore.
Basil: I realised that when she rants, she just wants me to be a listening ear and support her motion. I used to get upset that she was upset I told her the truth. Then I’d still have to apologise. Ahh. Tough times.
Nnenna: We also fight over him Netflix cheating on me!
Sorry?
Nnenna: We have virtual movie dates every weekend, but sometimes, especially when it’s a series we’re watching together, he’d watch some episodes during the week without me. I think it’s the subtlest but heaviest betrayal of trust. Then he’d try to pretend he didn’t, but the truth always comes out.
Basil: I can’t help it that I have better internet and more time. And I haven’t done that in a while. I’m sorry, love.
Nnenna: It’s so annoying.
One time, I was on leave throughout the week, but I still waited for our agreed-upon time on Saturday so we could continue watching a show. For some reason, we didn’t get to watch it that weekend. Do you know this guy still went ahead and watched the whole season later on without me?
When I remembered and asked that we finally watch it, he just told me he’d already seen it all. I was so pained. I still haven’t finished that show till today.
Basil: Again, I plead for your forgiveness.
How would you rate your Love Life on a scale of 1 to 10?
Basil: A high 7. The long-distance is killing me. Does that sound like the lyrics to an old song?
Nnenna: Yeah. 7 too.
Check back every Thursday by 9 AM for new Love Life stories here. The stories will also be a part of the Ships newsletter, so sign up here.
Apart from speaking your native Igbo language, what better way is there to show that you’re a true son and daughter of the soil if not by spicing it up with profound proverbs?
We’ve seen the beauty of this play out in Chinua Achebe’s iconic literary works and when Pete Edochie breathes life into his onscreen characters. While these guys are pros and getting to their level of mastery might take a while, we’ve compiled a list of some Igbo Nigerian proverbs and their meanings to get you started on your learning journey.
Onye fee eze, eze eruo ya aka
Translation: A man who pays respect to the great, paves way for his greatness.
Meaning: Always acknowledge those who did it before you.
Azu bu eze na mmiri
Translation: A fish is a king in water.
Meaning: Every man is a king in his lane.
Nwata nne ya kwo na azu amaghi na uzo di anya
Translation: A baby on its mother’s bag doesn’t know that the road is long.
Meaning: Ignorance is bliss.
Igwe bu ike
Translation: Multitude is strength.
Meaning: There’s power in community.
Ewu nwa ogbenye bu chi ya
Translation: A poor man’s goat is his cow.
Meaning: Contentment is key. Cherish what you have.
Uto ka mma n’ote aka
Translation: Friendship is most pleasant from a distance.
Meaning: Avoid see-finish in your friendships.
Ogbughi ka akilu na adan onu ka o si ato
Translation: The sound of the bite of bitter kola doesn’t correspond with its taste.
Meaning: All that glitters isn’t gold.
[ad]
Agadi nwaanyi a naghi aka nka na egwu o mara aba
Translation: An old woman cannot forget the dance step she knows how to dance.
Meaning: You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.
Aka ekpe kwo aka nri, aka nri akwo aka ekpe
Translation: If the left hand washes the right hand, the right hand washes the left hand.
Meaning: Scratch my back, and I’ll do the same.
Aku na-esi obi ike
Translation: A heavy purse makes the heart light.
Meaning: With money comes confidence.
Otu osisi adighi eme oke ohia
Translation: A tree does not make a forest.
Meaning: No one is an island. Speak out when you need help.
Anaghi aso mgbagbu hapu iga osu
Translation: The fear of death cannot prevent people from going to war.
Meaning: Death is inevitable. Live and enjoy your life regardless.
Choo ewu ojii ka chi di
Translation: The search for a black goat should start before nightfall.
Meaning: Best to take advantage of a situation when it’s favourable to you.
Ndidi nwe mmeri
Translation: Patience has victory.
Meaning: The good things of life come to those who wait.
Nwata kwocha aka ya osoro ogaranya rie ihe
Translation: A child who washs his hands could eat with kings.
Meaning: You’ll go far in life if you pay respect to whom it’s due.
If you make music and it’s hard to get your Nigerian parents to become your fan or dance to your tune, it’s either your work isn’t impressive or you haven’t consulted us yet. Everyone knows we have the best solution to all problems.
Make a song for them
If you’re serious about converting your parents into your music stans, make a song for them. It may be about their love life, how they make sacrifices for the family, how you want to be like them when you grow up or just a song hailing them from top to bottom. Their heads will swell, and they’ll throw all their weight behind you instantly.
Host “throwback music” sessions
Make it your job to host these sessions every weekend. Play them their favourite childhood songs then throw your music in the mix to gradually indoctrinate them. This can be a slow process, but you’ll laugh last.
Promise eternal youth
Let your folks know that listening and dancing to young people’s music is the secret to staying forever young. Then convince them your music is most potent for them because you’re their blood.
Coolest parents award
One major prerequisite to becoming cool parents is to be your kids’ number one fan. Convince them not to miss this prestigious award this year.
Sing and cry
When you shed a few crocodile tears while performing a song, they’ll think music has possessed you and you’re actually made for it. You might even get them teary too. A little in-house emotional performance may be all you need to make them your music stans.
Impress them with stats
Tell them your music travels without a visa. Imagine the curiosity on your parents’ faces when you tell them you have hundreds of streams from listeners in different parts of the world.
Play your music around them non-stop
Always keep your music playing around them. They’ll eventually love it or they’ll send you out of their house. Anyways, no gree for anybody.
On Sunday, January 24, 2024, Commissioner for Environment and Water Resources in Lagos, Tokunbo Wahab, announced on X that plastics and styrofoam packs have become a menace in the city.
“Following the menace which single-use plastics, especially non-biodegradable Styrofoam are causing on the environment, the Lagos State government through the Ministry of Environment and Water Resources is hereby announcing a ban on the usage and distribution of Styrofoam and other single-use plastics in the State with immediate effect.”
Following the ban, some food retail companies have made swift adjustments to their takeout orders. Food Concept Plc. — Chicken Republic, Pie Express and The Chopbox — in a statement encouraged customers to visit their outlets with their own reusable takeaway containers.
[ad]
A Case for green leaf packaging
Leaves are an age-long alternative for packaging food, but most restaurants restrict leaf packaging to local recipes such as ofada rice and moi-moi, when there’s nothing stopping them from extending it to other meals on the menu.
Why are they better than plastics?
Leaves degrade quickly after use
They are organic, so they contain no artificial chemicals that can pollute the environment
Leaves are raw materials that do not need production processes that pollute the environment, unlike synthetic packaging
Also, the leaf packaging options for food service providers are endless. We checked and found seven.
Moi-moi leaves
Originally used to serve the eponymous meal, moi-moi AKA bean pudding, it’s since been embraced as a packaging option for meals like ofada rice, fufu and pounded yam.
Banana leaves
They’re large and flexible. Besides wrapping and packaging food, they can also be used to serve food on the go. No need for plates.
Plantain leaves
Similar to banana leaves, plantain leaves are surprisingly smaller and often rounder. However, they offer the same use.
Coco yam leaves
Another broad-sized leaf that’ll make a good option for both packaging and serving meals. They’re already commonly used to wrap swallows like fufu and pounded yam, so why not creamy pasta or jollof?
Teak leaves
They’re from the iconic African teak tree AKA Iroko. They come in rounded shapes that make them a great option for food packaging.
Cabbage leaves
Forget that it’s one of the key salad ingredients, cabbage leaves offer some use for food packaging. The leaves have a flexible texture that makes folding and wrapping easy.
Lettuce leaves
As Nigerians, cabbage and lettuce are pretty much one and the same. If we can use cabbage leaves to pack our food, we can use lettuce. It’s that simple.
If you think it’s stressful to ask unwilling friends and family to pay back money they owe, wait till you experience a Nigerian employer from hell who defaults on salary payments. It’s a daunting situation that will take a toll on your mental, emotional and financial wellbeing.
I asked some Nigerians who’ve been owed money by their employers how they navigated the experience, and they shared these tips.
Avoid wasting time
“My former employer was a serial defaulter. I learnt from her that the longer you wait to get your money, the less likely the debtor will make that payment. So, it’s important you start taking proactive measures right after they make that first default on payment.”
A polite reminder
“No serious employer should ever forget your salaries, but there have been cases where all I needed to do was send a reminder. Before you assume that they don’t want to pay and do something rash, it’s sometimes useful to give them the benefit of the doubt and send a polite reminder”
Be proactive with reminders
“If you’ve got a boss with an established pattern of owing or forgetting about salaries, your best bet is to send a reminder a week or two ahead. That way, there’d be no excuse or opportunity to default.”
Reduce your productivity
“Everyone I’ve worked with knows I give my 100% on the job, but the moment my money is threatened, it drops to 50%. When the employer asks why, I’ll simply tell them I don’t have money to cater for basic needs that keep me productive. They might be pissed and want to gaslight you, but it does the trick.”
[ad]
Involve a third party
“I always make it a point to research an employer before taking a job. I must have an idea of the people they roll with. This way, I’ll know who to turn to if there are issues where I need to involve a third party.
One time, I only got paid when I told an ex-boss’s sibling about the money my boss owed me. That said, you should only do this when you’ve exhausted other options.”
Document everything
“Corporate culture taught me the importance of documenting everything. Once I notice I have a boss who acts funny with money, I put my guard up and keep receipts. People like that will make deductions out of thin air from your salary and if you don’t have the evidence to counter them, o ti lor.”
Use social media
“I once had an employer who refused to pay me for months. His excuse was that the company was struggling and there was no money. I eventually resigned and didn’t get paid. Weeks after, I saw this man post pictures of a new Range Rover. My subsequent reminders were ignored.
Eventually, I quoted his car announcement with a thread about how he’s owing me money and tagged some blogs and other popular influencers on Twitter. This man paid my money that same day.
I hate social media drama but I’ve realised that when it comes to debt, it’s one of the most effective ways to get your money.”
On Monday, January 23, 2024, the IRCC — Canada’s department responsible for immigration matters — announced that the Canadian Government is setting a cap on the intake of international students, among other immigration law changes.
According to a statement from the department, the decision became necessary as “the integrity of the international student system has been threatened”. The influx of international students has put pressure on housing, healthcare and other services in the country.
Canada remains one of the top destinations for Nigerians looking to relocate in search of greener pastures. So if you’re a Nigerian considering Canada for your studies or relocation plan, here’s what you should know about the latest development.
No more spousal work permits for undergraduates
The IRCC will stop granting work permits to spouses of international undergraduate students. Spouses of international graduate school students or students taking a professional programme (medicine or law) remain eligible for open work permits.
A cap on study permits
The IRCC plans to approve approximately 360,000 study permits in 2024, a 35% decrease from 2023. This intake cap will last for a period of two years. 2025’s limit will be announced later this year.
[ad]
Provincial study permits based on population
The IRCC will apportion study permits to Canadian provinces based on their population. The provinces will be free to distribute the study permits across the available learning institutions authorised to admit international students. Henceforth, study permits submitted to the IRCC will require an attestation letter from the province or territory. A process for applying for an attestation letter will be announced before March 2024.
No postgraduate study permit for graduates of private career colleges
According to the IRCC, starting on September 1, 2024, international students who physically attend private career colleges that have been licensed to deliver the curriculum of a public college will no longer be eligible for a postgraduate work permit after graduation.
If you spend enough time on social media, it wouldn’t take you long to find a video of Nollywood’s Kunle Afod getting his colleagues to mention ten Yoruba proverbs and their meaning. He’s had veterans like Yinka Quadri, Saheed Balogun, Lere Paimo, racking their brains to provide these proverbs — a trade in stock for their type of work.
But if these guys don’t have Yoruba Nigerian proverbs on speed dial, the rest of us are in trouble. We took the trouble to compile a comprehensive list just in case we’re ever put in a similar spot. Grab a notepad, class is in session.
Adie funfun ko mo ara re lagba
Translation: A white chicken does not realise its age.
Meaning: Basically, respect yourself.
Ile oba to jo ewa lo busi
Translation: A king’s palace that gets burnt has only added more beauty
Meaning: Make the best of any situation you find yourself in.
Bami na omo mi o de inu olomo
Translation: A parent who wants you to beat their child doesn’t mean it
Meaning: Don’t go around disciplining other people’s kids.
Iku npa alagemo to yole nrin, kambelete opolo to ngbe are re shonle
Translation: A chameleon that approaches with caution dies, talk more of a toad that slams its body with every step.
Meaning: Tread carefully.
[ad]
Ibi ti a ba pe lori, a ki fi tele
Translation: Whatever you name as the head, you don’t tread the floor with it.
Meaning: If it truly matters to you, you’ll hold it dear.
Ile la ti n ko eso re ode
Translation: Charity begins at home.
Meaning: Your good or shitty behaviour is a reflection of your background.
Orisa bi o le gbemi, se mi bi o se bami
Translation: A deity that can’t help your situation should leave you in your present state.
Meaning: Who go help you no go stress you.
Gbogbo oro ni nsoju eke
Translation: A gossip is privy to all matters.
Meaning: Only busy bodies have an opinion on everything.
Omo to kawo soke lo fe ka gbe oun
Translation: It’s the child that lifts its arms that asks to be picked.
Meaning: Don’t be quiet when you have problems that need solving.
Banidele la mmo ise eni
Translation: Going home with a person is how you know his or her ways.
Meaning: You can only see the true version of a person when you visit their home.
Labalaba fi ara e weye, ko le se ise eye
Translation: A butterfly can liken itself to a bird, but it can’t do what a bird can do.
Meaning: No go dey do pass yourself. Know your limits.
A ki gbe sara koja a mosalasi
Translation: One does not carry alms beyond the mosque.
