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Nigerians | Page 35 of 44 | Zikoko!
  • 7 Times Technology Was Just After Your Failure

    1. When you’ve not saved your work and your computer decides to just go off

    Is it not to die that remains?

    2. When your phone suddenly goes off during a phone interview

    In this recession?

    3. When you’re writing an online job test and your network is shaking like:

    I’m not crying, dust entered my eyes.

    4. When you’ve finished typing your project and the file refuses to open

    Am I not finished like this?

    5. When you open something on the internet and it destroys your computer’s memory

    But who sent me?

    6. When you’re about to collect a babe’s number and your phone starts hanging

    When your phone wants to block your success.

    7. You, when all your songs and pictures wipe from your phone

    Kuku kill me!
  • These Are The Donald Trump Headlines We Should All Brace Up For In 2017

    Now that controversial presidential candidate, Donald Trump, is President of the USA, we can definitely expect hundreds of shocking news stories. These are some of them:

    1. “Donald Trump Deports All Nigerians, Also Dumps Unidentified Africans In Nigeria”

    2. “Donald Trump Says Theresa May Needs To Visit A Salon, And Leave The Work To Real Men”

    3. “Donald Trump Attends Kanye West’s Concert, Raps On Stage With Him”

    4. “Donald Trump Repaints The White House To Gold, Renames It Trump Towers 2”

    5. “Donald Trump Packs His Hair In Shuku, Says He Gets Inspiration From Justin Bieber”

    6. “Donald Trump Announces Ivanka Trump As His First Lady, Says She’ll Take Over Leading The USA After Him”

    7. “Donald Trump Builds A Wall Round Mexico, Sends Bill To Mexico”

    8. “President Trump Makes Melania Trump His Chief Bullying And Trolling Officer”

    9. “President Trump Announces Everything Was Just A Prank, Says Hilary Clinton Is Real President”

    LOL WE WISH!!!
  • 12 Times Memes And Gifs Won The Internet This Year

    12 Times Memes And Gifs Won The Internet This Year

    1. This very awesome gif of Viola Davis leaving bullshit behind.

    2. This picture that perfectly describes failing with confidence.

    3. Jake blessed us with this totally cute picture of him writing and it was meme material for days!

    4. The relationship between Nigerian men and lies is like:

    5. This one that is the perfect Nigerian parent’s response to everything.

    6. When your friend doesn’t take your advice and they come crying to you, you’re like:

    7. Odunlade blessed us with the perfect ‘and so what’ expression this year.

    8. When you tell your mom you want to do masters, but you’ve not husband home

    9. The Nigerian economy in one gif

    10. When you want to pay the conductor and you can’t find your wallet

    11. When instagram vendors are selling shoes for N20,000 but you saw it for N2,500 in the market

    12. This is how you will win 2017 without effort!

  • Nigerians Are The Best And Worst People, Here’s A post To Prove It

    1. You will never shout ‘Ole’ alone, Nigerians will always help you chorus it

    2. But once it’s time to involve police in the same Ole matter, another story oh

    3. If you can’t drive properly, never fear, a Nigerian will always show you how to ‘cut your hand’

    4. What ‘cut your hand’ means exactly, we don’t really know

    5. If your children need beating and your hand is paining you, trust any Nigerian to help you enter set

    6. Nigerian Policemen really care about your well-being, why they get angry and tax you if your glove-box light isn’t working

    7. The policemen also want you to be good Nigerians and care for their well-being, why they ask if you have anything for boys

    8. Please, which other country will the thieves warn you before coming to give you courtesy visit?

    Nigerians are too much jare!!!

  • 8 Things That Are Truly Satisfying To Nigerians

    1. That heavenly breeze when you’re at the back of an okada

    2. When you get to your buka and they just bring the amala, fresh from fire

    3. Or when you order food and you find out it’s actual pounded yam and not poundo yam

    4. When you hear that neighbour’s siren that signifies NEPA has brought light

    5. That wonderful peace that follows after everybody has turned off their generators

    6. When they finally bring light in your estate, after three months in darkness

    7. When you take your car to the mechanic, and he only finds one fault with it

    8. We can’t even lie, being able to pee almost anywhere at anytime is the best feeling

  • 8 Types Of Nigerians That Are Actually Allowed To Carry Shoulder Up

    8 Types Of Nigerians That Are Actually Allowed To Carry Shoulder Up

    1. People that have finished NYSC

    Congratulations! Now your struggle has ended.

    2. People that know maths very well

    Na you biko! We hail thee!

    3. Fashionistas that have entered Bella Naija’s Aso Ebi Bella

    The original slayonces!

    4. People that have left our level and gotten married

    We will soon come and join you sha.

    5. All serious-minded entrepreneurs

    Continue to create jobs for us all! Thank you and God bless!

    6. People that went for Cowbell Mathematical Competition in school

    Efikos of life!

    7. Anyone who went to a Federal University

    You survived that, you can survive anything!

    8. People that don’t padlock their WiFi

    Favorite kinds of people!
  • We Need To Be Careful With Fake Products In The Market And This Is Why

    Times are hard, and people are getting more desperate to make money.

    Some of us even heard there’s now ‘plastic rice’ in Nigerian markets.

    We almost didn’t believe it until we saw this video.

    Is this how you people used to do?

    Open your eyes well when you’re Christmas shopping. Fake drugs are also common.

    As for the government agencies that are supposed to keep these things out of the market, we don’t have much to say to you.

  • This Nigerian Dude And His Oyinbo Wife Dancing At Their Wedding Is Just Epic

    We know plenty of you like owambe and weddings especially.

    And Nigerian weddings are never boring!

    This Nigerian guy and his wife took the game to another level when they danced to Yemi Alade’s ‘Johnny’.

    https://twitter.com/KdubSoSolid/status/807701102040780800

    We too want to get married so we can do ‘Couple’s Choreography’ like this!

  • 9 Struggles Only Chronic Guilty-Shoppers Will Understand

    1. When you see one fine, but expensive shoe and your conscience starts shouting

    “You know you’re already broke!”

    2. When you now pass by the shop again, you’re like

    It’s not good to be broke sha!

    3. You, at work thinking of those fine shoes you saw

    But if I don’t buy it, will I eat my money?

    4. When you now pass by the shop and you can’t stop yourself

    How could I resist all the other beautiful shoes?

    5. You, trying the shoes for the tenth time at home

    6. When you’re now sleeping and your guilt hits you

    I have finished all my savings o!

    7. How your account balance appears to you in your dreams like

    “You think you’re doing me, but you’re doing yourself!”

    8. When you now want to return the shoes, and the shop owner is like

    Somebody cannot even play small play with you again?

    9. So you just decide to enjoy your very expensive shoes like that

    I will not kuku kill myself!
  • 8 Reasons We’re Still Very Disappointed In Modern Technology

    1. We can’t download food

    Is it fair?

    2. … or money!

    Isn’t technology supposed to solve all my problems?

    3. There are no robots to bathe us

    In this century?

    4. … or spoon-feed us when we’re tired

    After a long day in traffic, is this too much to ask?

    5. And what of the self-driving cars we were promised?

    Please, don’t mention Google’s self-driving cars here!

    6. Please, when is someone making us an ‘Invisible App’?

    So we can disappear when debtors are at the gate!

    7. Can you even believe that Mars is STILL inhabitable?

    You mean we can’t relocate from this nonsense Earth?

    8. And just how long do we have to wait for tele-transport technology?

    How else will I transport myself to America without using visa?
  • Watch This Nigerian Mother Shut Down A Wedding With Her Dabs

    It’s no news that Nigerian mothers have wahala.

    And when it comes to weddings, they are always extra-hyped!

    Let’s just bless you with this woman dancing at her son’s wedding.

    This woman can dab better than you, though!

    Shout out to all Nigerian mothers everywhere! You guys are the best!
  • 14 Struggles That Are Too Real For Everyone Who Doesn’t Get This Snapchat Thing

    14 Struggles That Are Too Real For Everyone Who Doesn’t Get This Snapchat Thing

    1. When you see all your friends downloading Snapchat and you’re like

    It’s only for vain people, though!

    2. When you now realize there are plenty juicy stories there, so you start to rethink

    Maybe it won’t be so bad, right?

    3. When you download it and see that it’s actually too complicated

    It’s more complicated than Twitter, Instagram and Facebook put together!

    4. You, when you’ve downloaded Snapchat since 1900, but still have zero friends

    Is this how you people are unfriendly?

    5. By the time someone finally adds you as a friend, you’re already like

    Thanks for helping my case sha.

    6. You, when you try to take a snap and you’re looking too ugly

    You mean I won’t have bomb snaps today?

    7. You, trying to find the perfect lighting for your snap

    See stress!

    8. When someone now responds to a snap you don’t remember sending

    What am I supposed to say, abeg?

    9. You, when you mistakenly send a private snap to everybody

    Jesus!!!

    10. When you see your friends making up and saying ‘I woke up like this’ on their snaps

    Who is this one deceiving?

    11. You, when someone asks if you’re on Snapchat

    I am, but I’m not stable at all!

    12. When you see your self on your friend’s snap and you didn’t even know when they took it

    They don’t even care if you look fine or not.

    13. You, when the one person that posts bomb snaps now refuses to add you back

    Kuku kill me!

    14. When you see people’s snaps and they’re just looking at the screen and moving their mouths

    What is all this mumu behaviour?
  • This Guy Mimicked President Buhari And It Was Just Perfect

    There we were, just having a jolly time on Twitter when we saw President Buhari making another speech about the ‘other room’.

    I mean, we were so sure it was him, until we looked very closely.

    Please, help us see this American wonder!

    https://twitter.com/Oh_Ni_Dije/status/804794135140040704

    Meet Katsina-born comedian, Mc Tawgaye, the guy who is truly President Buhari’s doppelganger.

    This guy really had us fooled. Apparently, he does this mimicking act on a regular.

    Check out more of Mc Tagwaye’s work on his Facebook page.
  • 11 Times Nigerian Groomsmen Gave Us Too Much Life

    11 Times Nigerian Groomsmen Gave Us Too Much Life

    1. Just look at this formation, please.

    2. The blur effect here is perfect.

    3. Straight outta Ghana!

    4. Paul Okoye’s groomsmen.

    5. Dripping sauce!

    6. So very suave.

    7. Ghanaians know this business well!

    8. We’re so here for these cuties.

    9. Make way for the Yoruba demons, please.

    10. Absolutely love this color.

    11. See stepping though.

  • This Hilarious Video Shows Exactly Why Driving Your Nigerian Parent Is The Worst

    This Hilarious Video Shows Exactly Why Driving Your Nigerian Parent Is The Worst
    Nigerian parents swear they’re the best drivers in the world. But driving them is another wahala on it’s own.

    Nigerian parents, when you mistakenly drive above 20Km/Hr:

    When they see you driving with one hand.

    Popular Youtuber, Comedy Shorts Gamer, aka Deji drove his father in a Lamborghini for the first time, and his reaction was priceless.

    https://twitter.com/Chibueze_O/status/786698796428320768

    Can you relate to this? Share your experience while driving your parents in the comments section.

  • 9 Things That Happen When You Live Close To Your Work place

    1. How you still sleep by 7.45 AM because there’s nothing like traffic

    Unlimited sleeping!

    2. What of the joy of just walking down to your workplace

    No need for danfo wahala.

    3. You, when you see your colleagues running to sign in at past 8

    Sorry o!

    4. When your boss now makes you the janitor because you stay close-by

    But they’re not paying me extra o!

    5. When it’s time to close and your boss singles you out for more work

    Is it an offence to live close by ?

    6. When everyone is buying cars with their last kobo, you’re just like

    Nah. Nope. Not gonna happen!

    7. When you tell bae to come and pick you at work and he’s like “Can’t you just take keke?”

    Come and pick me up, my friend!

    8. You, when your co-workers say you should go and bring food from home during lunch hours

    You people should better bring food from your house.

    9. When there’s traffic and your co-workers want to turn your house to hotel

    Just enter your traffic jejely!
  • Nigerians React To The NCC’s New Data Hike

    Nigerians React To The NCC’s New Data Hike
    With the quick and global spread of technology, the most sensible thing for any country to do is to make data cheaper so it’s citizens can get east access to the internet. But unfortunately, not in Nigeria. The Nigerian Communications Commission (NCC) on November 29, ordered an increase in data tariffs, simply because there is an ‘unhealthy price competition’ between network providers

    This ridiculously senseless price hike obviously didn’t meet Nigerians well.

    Some are already staging a protest.

    Nigerian government people are kuku CEO of suffer-head limited.

    https://twitter.com/SomaKudi/status/803587213741162498

    Why are the cheap data rates paining these NCC people?

    https://twitter.com/Gidimeister/status/803621065012326401
    https://twitter.com/_Alphawoman/status/803697303647354880

    They’ve found the minister of commuications phone number sha, Nigerians have no chill!

    Instead of them to say they want to scam us in broad day light

    So the NCC shouldn’t hide under the guise of protecting small operators and tell us they want to exploit us.

    — Oluwamayowa George (@Wana____) November 30, 2016

    Maybe our parents would stop sending us those annoying BCs on Whatsapp.

    https://twitter.com/iAm_StillWeird/status/803692448719470592

    Abeg, who did we offend o?

    When your government doesn’t want you to prosper.

    The government provides nothing. Flour, no. Eggs, no. Butter, no. Oven, no. But when it’s time to chow the agege bread, dem full ground.

    — the II% (@utomisphere) November 30, 2016
  • For The First Time Ever, These Badass Women Will Take Nigeria To The Winter Olympics

    For The First Time Ever, These Badass Women Will Take Nigeria To The Winter Olympics

    It’s totally okay if you’ve never heard of the Winter Olympics before, very few Nigerians have. And it’s no surprise that it’s not popular around these parts; African countries rarely participate because only a handful experience snowy weather.

    But for the first time in history, 3 Nigerian women are determined to take the country to the 2018 Winter Olympics in Pyeongchang, South Korea.

    Houston-based Seun Adigun, who represented Nigeria in the 2012 Olympics, is the driver aspirant for the Nigerian Women’s Bobsled team. Her teammates are Ngozi Onwumere and Akuoma Omeoga.

    This is a fine and brave move, but there’s a catch. They need funds to get to the Olympics, so they’ve set up a go-fund-me for anyone who wants to donate to the cause.

    The trio will need funds for practice and winter gear among other things. Visit Adigun’s go-fund-me page to learn about her story and inspiration and for donations.

    We can all make history together with a little giving. Thanks to these awesome women, Nigeria will make it’s debut at the Winter Olympics.

  • Ladies If Your Guy Does All These, Just Put A Ring On It

    1. If he sends you pizza and shawarma at work

    Even roasted corn and eba, all join!

    2. If he doesn’t flinch when you fart

    We heard some of you have broken up because of this!

    3. If he really listens and responds to all your senseless rantings

    He will even join you to be senseless!

    4. If he knows how to cook jollof

    Husband material, one million yards!

    5. If he takes you to mama on a regular

    P.S If she prays that you’ll find your husband, just carry your slippers nd run!

    6. And does he like your face with or without makeup?

    He loves the messy you sef!

    7. And does he genuinely care and support your career goals?

    He’s just here for your happiness.

    8. If he is truly the one guy who doesn’t lie

    We’re all so done with guys who lie.

    9. He also doesn’t see any qualms in buying you sanitary towels and other girl stuff

    No biggie!

    10. And if he’s not stingy at all!

    He wants to spend his last kobo on you.

    11. Plus he also tries to treat others nicely

    The best!
  • 10 Nigerians We All Hate To Meet On A Monday Morning

    1. The person you’re owing money.

    2. LASTMA officers.

    3. The preachers at the bus top that will tell you you’re going to hell fire.

    4. The angry conductor that doesn’t have change.

    5. The “ello aunty, plix I’m stranded people.

    6. The toaster that doesn’t want to leave you alone.

    7. Those annoying Yaba traders.

    8. Your amebo neighbour.

    9. The jaga-jaga driver in traffic.

    10. Your noisy colleague that likes fighting everybody

  • Nigerian Women Share Their Public Harassment Stories And We Are Livid!

    Street harassment is one of the most annoying/disrespectful things Nigerian women go through regularly. If you’ve ever gone to Yaba market, you will understand how disrespectful most of the traders are, especially towards women.

    Upset by what women go through in the hands of these men, Twitter user, UPNEPA, asked women to share their stories.

    https://twitter.com/UPNEPA/status/801860572157513728

    And believe it or not, the responses will leave you shocked and angry.

    https://twitter.com/Dinma__/status/801929500527390720
    https://twitter.com/TheRealWunmi/status/802087677197713408
    https://twitter.com/ms_millieee/status/802072642392117248
    https://twitter.com/Zee_Salaudeen/status/802060949704294400

    The fact that Nigerian women continue to be publicly harassed and disrespected by certain men shows how low society generally regards women. Women should be able to move freely and safely regardless of whatever outfit she has on. Women must be seen as human beings, not objects that can picked on, talked down on and tossed aside. We all have a responsibility to speak and act against any form of assault around us.

  • 8 Things We All Do Once We Start To Get Comfortable At Our New Job

    8 Things We All Do Once We Start To Get Comfortable At Our New Job

    1. When someone mentions reporting you to the boss

    Report who? You no know oga na my padi.

    2. When someone from another department sends you on an errand

    You think i’m your house boy ba?

    3. When they hire a new person and you’re now the senior worker

    Na me be O.G.

    4. How you sit down at your desk

    This is my fathers parlour now.

    5. When someone that used to bully you at the office now needs your help

    Can you see your life?

    6. How you look at your phone when you get a work text at home

    Don’t you people sleep, nawa o.

    7. When someone threatens to fire you

    I beg your pardon?! You know who I am?

    8. When they actually fire you for slacking off

    Oga please, i’m a father of five. Don’t do this.
  • These Amazing Little Children Will Make You Feel Like An Agbaya

    While you were eating eba instead of getting fit, this 3-year-old Iranian boy has become a certified member of fitfam ministry.

    Maybe he should come and represent Nigeria in the next Olympics, we’ll kuku manage him like that.

    And while many of you refused to face your work, young Ifedayo Ali-Landing has been slaying at Cello.

    Ifetayo started playing at a very young agae and has won several awards at 13. Just look at her play when she was 6.

    These little children are so amazing, haters can’t even touch them! Share your thoughts on this in the comments section.

  • 10 Things Nigerians Need To Do So Their Home Training Can Be Complete

    10 Things Nigerians Need To Do So Their Home Training Can Be Complete

    1. Men, can you please stop peeing anywhere you see?

    Why are we seeing like a hundred penises a day? Why?

    2. Also men, can you please stop stretching your sweaty hands on the danfo seat?

    This is not your father’s car, though.

    3. People, STOP STARING!

    Do Nigerians know looking like lucozade is rude?

    4. Akara women, stop using your hands to pick our food!

    What is that nonsense?

    5. Traders everywhere, please stop dragging us innocent passers by.

    Eko and Yaba boys are so guilty of this.

    6. What of all the people that will be coughing in our mouths in public?

    Spreading the germs and all the viruses!

    7. And all those buka people selling rice and small stew, mind yourself!

    Okay, this has nothing to do with etiquette, but WHY are you ‘mizing’ stew ???

    8. Special shout out to all those who quietly release gas in public places and unlook like:

    The worst!

    9. As for people that use public toilets and don’t flush, your case is on another level.

    No home training!

    10. And those ones that chook mouth when you and your friends are talking.

    But who asked you?
  • Now That Hilary Clinton Lost The Elections, Nigerians Are Dragging TB Joshua For His Prophecy

    In the heat of the just-concluded US elections, controversial Nigerian pastor, TB Joshua, claimed to see a

    But while we all hoped this prophecy would for once come to pass, the universe dealt us all a big fat ela.

    1. And Nigerians are dragging TB Joshua for his predictions.

    2. Even politicians are chooking mouth in the matter.

    https://twitter.com/JimohIbrahimOFR/status/796314043174842368

    3. Is TB Joshua a spiritual armed robber?

    4. Maybe the vision wasn’t clear sha.

    https://twitter.com/TheOnlyIBK/status/796304162040397824

    5. When Nigerians in America catch TB Joshua.

    https://twitter.com/DONHALOGEN/status/796256712466440192

    6. Maybe we didn’t hear him clearly sha.

    7. At least he’s sha good at something.

    https://twitter.com/MisturrSam/status/796242496598769664

    8. Abi was it God that gave TB Joshua ela?

    9. Perhaps the prophecy made Hilary lose the election.

  • Nigerians React To The Outcome Of The US Elections

    Incase you don’t know (or currently living under a rock), the most controversial elections ever took place in the U.S on November 8, and shockingly, Donald Trump won the election!

    1. Being the most talked about election in 2016, Nigerians had a lot to say:

    2. Because FOREX is just a mess right now.

    3. Will Daddy Wole Soyinka tear his passport though?

    4. Somebody should go and pick our Daddy Wole from the airport please.

    5. Now that Trump has won, will people come back home now?

    6. Trevoh Noah might enter wahala for abusing Donald Trump throughout 2016.

    7. Instead of Nigerian politicians to seize this opportunity to change things around.

    8. We’ll kuku be hearing orisirisi IJGB accents this December.

    9. See this yeye person famzing Donald Trump.

    https://twitter.com/Ph_Obidon/status/796266403091382272

    10. This olodo person that doesn’t know they’re both British-Nigerian.

    https://twitter.com/Dammy_Osinowo/status/796266529881030656

    11. Instead of Nigerians to start firing prayer.

    https://twitter.com/Luvvie/status/796174474244739073

    12. Ater forming shakara for us, everybody should stay in their America o!

    https://twitter.com/Mr_kwabe/status/796197067244929024

    13. Ordinary rigging that people are doing for free in Nigeria o.

    https://twitter.com/The_Africanist/status/796246316074549249

    14. The wahala we’re facing with Daddy Bubu is enough sha.

    https://twitter.com/dhassie/status/796216810391605248

    15. Who doesn’t like good things abeg?

  • 10 Times Linda Ikeji’s Comments Section Was The Best Place On The Internet

    10 Times Linda Ikeji’s Comments Section Was The Best Place On The Internet

    If you’ve ever read Linda Ikeji’s blog, you’ll know the comments section is just really special.

    When she reported the infamous attack on Kim Kardashian’s butt in Paris, the comments were so interesting, we just had to share with you.

    1. This person found the gist really funny.

    2. As usual, some people came to sell their market.

    3. This person sympathised with Kim’s attacker.

    4. This person thought the attack was Kim’s fault.

    5. This person became the attacker’s biggest fan.

    6. She thought the attack was a “merited happiness”.

    7. Abeg, who can explain what this means?

    8. Maybe she’s Linda oga.

    9. This person is kuku Kanye west’s P.A.

    10. We’ve finally found Linda Ikeji’s first cousin.

  • 12 Beautiful Countries That Won’t Stress You Before You Get A Visa

    12 Beautiful Countries That Won’t Stress You Before You Get A Visa
    Planning to travel somewhere stress-free? We’ve got you! See Henley and Partners Visa Restrictions Report for detailed information.

    1. Kenya

    You can get a Kenyan visa on arrival for 90 days.

    2. Maldives

    Your visa on arrival for 30 days.

    3. Barbados

    Barbados is visa-free for 6 months.

    4. Seychelles

    You’ll only need a visitor’s permit that lasts for a month.

    5. Tanzania

    Breeze in and get your visa on arrival.

    6. Mali

    Mali is visa free.

    7. Mauritius

    Stay visa-free for 90 days.

    8. Fiji

    You can stay visa-free for up to 4 months.

    9. Dominica

    Stay without a visa in Dominica for 21 days.

    10. Sierra Leone

    No visa needed.

    11. Federated States of Micronesia

    Visa free, but only for 30 days.

    12. Burundi

    You get a 30-day visa on arrival.
  • 7 Nigerians Share Their Worst Date Stories

    1. ‘The car broke down on the way’.

    “I went to go pick her up at home and the car broke down on the way to the movies.  I couldn’t cry! I sha called a cab while I chilled for the mechanic. Scheduled another date, but there was a noticeable change. She zoned me. The vibe was a subtle “you are looking for gehfren” when your jalopy is need of change”.  -Collins

    2. “He was showing off”

    This guy showed me his account balance. He was a semi-professional footballer and sha wanted to show me he was a big boy. I said “I’m happy for you” and asked for the rest of my food to go and then left“. -Abike

    3. “We got arrested”

    We were in this yellow taxi when some oversabi policemen pulled us over. The wahala started when they caught her filming them on her camera phone. They took us to the station o! They even took us to the place they kept armed robbers. My people came to bail us sha. -Ikemefuna John

    4. “I was the third wheel on the date”

    “He came to pick me with his friend, and I had to sit at the back. When we got to the cinema, he sat in the middle and he kept talking to his friend throughout, I was basically the third wheel”.  -Anike

    5. “My tummy disrespected me”.

    “I had diarrhea and had to use the restroom several times. It was so embarrassing“. -Grace

    6. “Fuel finished in his car”

    When he came to pick me, he parked his car in front of my hostel. The car refused to start o, and that’s how we caused traffic in front of the hostel. He now ‘realised there wasn’t petrol in his car and we had to buy petrol inside nylon.”  -Imani

    7. He wanted me to come and ‘relax’ in his hotel room.

    It was my matriculation so I decided to go on a date with this guy that had been disturbing me. He brought his two friends (one of them was called Jendor) and another girl. As if that wasn’t annoying enough, after eating what was basically Agege bread and hot dog, he asked me and the other girl to come and relax with his friends. Relax, abi rape fest? I just carried my load and went back to my hostel“. -Lara

    Everyone has had a horrible date experience. Share yours in the comments section.

  • 10 Hysterical Phrases Nigerians Created (Number 5 Is The Most Hilarious)

    1. ‘Per-adventure’

    Who even came up with this?

    2. ‘Should in case’

    Can we all agree to stop saying this?

    3. ‘Fleet’

    This isn’t even an actual word.

    4. ‘Please dress’

    What are they dressing?

    5. “Tickle your fancy’

    Na wa!

    6. ‘Oga is not on seat’

    Edakun what does ‘on seat’ mean?

    7. ‘Short knicker’

    Smh!

    8. ‘Cut your hand’

    Ah!

    9. ‘Trafficate’

    It’s not only trafficate.

    10. Calling Coke and Fanta, ‘minerals’.

    Minerals ko, minerals ni.
  • 10 Times Nigerians Had Serious Trust Issues

    10 Times Nigerians Had Serious Trust Issues

    1. When NEPA brings light and your neighbors don’t put off the generator.

    Can’t trust NEPA to have sense!

    2. When your tailor says he has sewn your cloth, but you still go to his shop to see with your own eyes.

    Because Nigerian tailors and disappointment are siblings!

    3. When people stand with the fuel attendant so they can see how the petrol is entering the car.

    Before they give you 1k fuel and collect 10k!

    4. When you tell a kid to go and wear his shoe, and he says he’ll follow you barefoot.

    Ahn ahn! this kid can’t even trust at this small age!

    5. When your mum doesn’t let the mallam cut the chicken in the market so they won’t take their own share.

    She will now leave you to do the wahala at home.

    6. When people collect money at the ATM, and start counting it!

    YOU PEOPLE ARE DAMAGED!

    7. When you want to make a deposit, and the bank cashier counts it like 100 times!

    Oga, do I look like a 419 person to you?

    8. When people now add stew to their jollof.

    Why can’t you trust the power of jollof?

    9. When your boyfriend calls and you tell him you’re with your friend.

    Who broke this one’s heart like this?

    10. When you’re buying buka food and you chook your eyes to count the spoons of rice they’re putting.

    Every grain must be complete!
  • 11 ‘Interesting’ Outfits Your Favourite Celebs Wore To the 2016 MTV-MAMAS

    1. The recently concludedMTV MAMAs was lit! Popular Nigerians came to slay, even though this aunty forgot to iron her dress.

    2. Well, the co-host, Bonang Matheba only came to slay sha.

    3. And Jackie Appiah wore this confusion of a dress.

    4. Some people couldn’t be bothered about making any effort.

    5. Someone needs to explain Yemi Alade’s dress to us please.

    6. When you have to attend an award show and be a mechanic at the same time.

    7. This dress that looks like a prom outfit from 2001.

    8. This ankara that’s neither here nor there.

    9. Just see how glam she looks.

    10. This outfit is dripping sauce.

    11. Noble didn’t disappoint at all, just see how dapper he looks.

  • 10 Interesting Things Nigerians Had To Say About Feminism

    10 Interesting Things Nigerians Had To Say About Feminism

    1. For the olodos at the back…

    2. Apparently, some people don’t know gender and equality are similar.

    3. Feminism isn’t this confusing though.

    https://twitter.com/MallamSawyerr/status/787744636622090240

    4. Errm, Aunty this isn’t how independence works sha.

    5. Some people believe men are superior…

    https://twitter.com/DeycallmiFaMe/status/787680124137267201

    6. And invalids who can’t feed or clean after themselves.

    https://twitter.com/lollyvuitton/status/787651242625421313

    7. This tired and ridiculous logic.

    8. When someone reduces feminism to ordinary ring.

    https://twitter.com/msfizzy/status/787596963021787137

    9. When a so-called police PRO is being ridiculous on Twitter instead of catching thieves at Oshodi.

    https://twitter.com/aleeygiwa/status/787662117889507328

    10. Maybe people are just broke sha.

  • The Zikoko Guide To Spotting Fake Instagram Vendors

    So there’s been a  wave of people taking advantage of cheaper internet rates to use Instagram as a digital store. But among them are people who just want to scam you. Here’s how to spot them.

    1. Their accounts are always set on private.

    What are you hiding?

    2. You have to send a request, so they can size up the mumu in you before they add.

    “This one is a mumu.”

    3. Their products are always extremely cheap.

    So you can order plenty things.

    4. And the only comments you’ll see are nice ones.

    “This shoe is lovely!”

    5. In fact, if you check well, you’ll see that there may be no comments at all.

    Why are they deleting comments?

    6. When you ask how they accept payment, they say it’s pay before service.

    Why can’t I pay on delivery?

    7. And when you ask for guarantee, they give you a long ass essay about trusting them.

    Who trust help?

    8. They keep calling to know when you will transfer the money to their accounts.

    “When will you pay for the goods, please?”

    9. And if you check their numbers on True Caller, you’ll see BS names like ‘Mades Closet’ or ‘Trumps Collections’.

    Trump. Really?

    10. They always give you some account number they opened remotely.

    So you can never trace it with ease.

    11. People of God, the moment you transfer that money, they block you on WhatsApp and Instagram.

    That’s right.

    12. And that’s when you know you’ve been scammed.

    You’re in soup!

    13. Shout out to all the Instagram vendors that have scammed and are still scamming people.

    We will meet at the foot of Jesus.
  • 10 Times This Gif Was The Perfect Response To Bullshit

    1. When your lying ex says they want to get back with you.

    Nobody got time for this.

    2. When someone says you should come and buy 150k aso ebi.

    How much is my salary again?

    3. When your crush asks you for ‘that your fine friend’s number’.

    Look at this one we wanted to manage.

    4. When your boyfriend tells you his mother says you must get pregnant before marriage.

    Tell her to come and impregnate me herself!

    5. When someone introduces you to a money-making scheme, and it’s MMM.

    This one is sick.

    6. When someone starts saying ‘I love you too, but…’

    Keep the ELA,  please.

    7. When someone says you should borrow them money that is more than your salary.

    Come and carry it.

    8. When your lecturer says he wants to see you in a hotel for a ‘discussion’.

    Dis what?

    9. When your dad wants to dash you a car, but it turns out to be the station wagon he’s had before you were born.

    Thanks, but no thanks.

    10. When you’re trying to make friends and the person says Game of Thrones is trash.

    Error in connection.
  • This Graduate Can’t Land A Job, And He’s Very Mad About It

    This Graduate Can’t Land A Job, And He’s Very Mad About It
    It’s no secret that Nigeria is currently  in a terrible condition. The economy is suffering, and leaders  are proving more and more incompetent by the day. In a country where  too many graduates already walk the streets in search of a viable source of income, the current economic recession is not helping matters. According to Samson Olaleye, a lot of Lagosians, most of them graduates like himself,  sleep in the streets.
    https://twitter.com/d_problemsolver/status/784654764306989056

    According to @d_problemsolver on Twitter, some employers are already looking to employ the young man, and they want anyone with information on his whereabouts to come forward.

  • 10 Struggles You’ll Definitely Relate With If You’re A Wrestling Fan

    1. You, when its time for Smack Down.

    My joy is full.

    2. When two people you love are fighting.

    To support John Cena or Roman Reigns?

    3. When you’re enjoying a match on your own and someone wants to change the channel.

    Are you alright?

    4. When your friends start asking why you’re watching WWE at your age.

    Because Y has two branches and one tail.

    5. When someone chooks mouth and says wrestling is fake.

    Who asked this one?

    6. When a match is bringing you joy but you have no one to share it with.

    Nobody understands.

    7. How Twitter people react when you tweet about wrestling.

    Na you people sabi o!

    8. All of the people you know who love wrestling like you.

    Me, myself and I.

    9. When you realize female wrestlers are actually more hardcore than the guys.

    Charlotte is the MVP!

    10. When they’re talking of wrestling and TNA people chook mouth.

    You’re not in the league o!
  • Chimamanda Adichie Inspired Dior’s Collection At Paris Fashion Week

    Chimamanda Adichie Inspired Dior’s Collection At Paris Fashion Week

    Our very own Nigerian writer and novelist, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie is doing bigger things on the international scene.

    No, Chimamanda did not feature in a hit single. This time around, she inspired Maria Grazia Chiuri’s Dior collection at Paris Fashion Week.

    The 2017 spring collection included these awesome T-shirts with bold statements supporting the feminist movement; an excerpt of Chimamanda’s famous Tedx Speech back in 2013.

    Aunty Chi Chi was of course present at the fashion show, and she was there to slay! Just look at those shoes *swoon*!

    Her Tedx speech which was later developed into a book-length essay was so powerful that Beyonce featured it in her Grammy nominated hit single ‘Flawless’.

    Chimamanda’s speech boasts of over 3 million views on Youtube, and was used to teach Swedish students about feminism in 2015. Who else can’t wait to see where this awesome speech takes her next?

  • Another Unnecessary Demolition Has Happened And This Time, It’s A National Monument

    Another Unnecessary Demolition Has Happened And This Time, It’s A National Monument
    One would think the vast number of colonial buildings and monuments in Nigeria would be acknowledged and cherished as part of our history. For a building like Ilojo Bar, which was constructed in 1855 and declared as a national monument in 1956, Just the idea of destroying it would be a total no-brainer.

    Formerly known as ‘Casa do Fernandez’, the Brazilian-styled building was sold to Alfred Omolana Olaiya of the famous Olaiya family in 1933.

    Unfortunately, the building was torn to the ground in September 2016 by certain developers following the property’s change of ownership.

    However, the National Commission for Museums and Monuments (NCMM), has vowed to bring the lawless people behind this senseless demolition to justice.

    Also, Legacy, a Lagos-based historical and environmental interest group has filed a petition against this demolition. This petition also aims to ensure the reconstruction of Ilojo bar to its initial state.

    This demolition makes one wonder why National Monuments can be easily bought and sold by people who don’t even value their importance.

    Share your thoughts on this in the comments section. But in the mean time, here’s a video of the demolition.

  • Mo’Cheddah Takes Her Slayage Game To The Next Level With Her New Fashion Line

    Beautiful and fashionable Nigerian celebrity, Mo’Cheddah, can do no wrong when it comes to slaying.

    Really, can your favorite celeb pull off this this effortless look?

    Just when it felt like she was just going to keep on being an Instagram hunnie, our darling Mo’ recently launched her fashion line, Mo’Cheddah Clothing.

    She named this debut look-book, ‘The Bolanle Collection’ and the pieces are just gorgeous.

    Don’t lie, your wardrobe is begging for this hot number.

    This mesh blouse is everything.

    We can’t wait to see more pieces from Mo’cheddah Clothing.

    To see more pictures from her collection, visit her website and Instagram page.