Notice: Function _load_textdomain_just_in_time was called incorrectly. Translation loading for the wordpress-seo domain was triggered too early. This is usually an indicator for some code in the plugin or theme running too early. Translations should be loaded at the init action or later. Please see Debugging in WordPress for more information. (This message was added in version 6.7.0.) in /home/bcm/src/dev/www/wp-includes/functions.php on line 6121
Nigerians | Page 11 of 44 | Zikoko! Nigerians | Page 11 of 44 | Zikoko!
  • #NairaLife: At ₦375k/Month, She’s Finally Making Money That Makes Her Happy

    #NairaLife: At ₦375k/Month, She’s Finally Making Money That Makes Her Happy

    Every week, Zikoko seeks to understand how people move the Naira in and out of their lives. Some stories will be struggle-ish, others will be bougie. All the time, it’ll be revealing.


    What’s your earliest memory of money?

    I remember older people “dashing” me money out of pity. I lost my dad when I was one and was an only child for the first 12 years of my life.

    On random Sundays,  my mum would take me to greet one wealthy church member or the other, and they’d hand me wads of cash. I used to go to primary school with ₦200, even though I didn’t spend more than ₦50 on food. The rest, I spent as I pleased.

    I don’t know what it meant for my mum and grandparents to provide for me, but I know I was quite comfortable.

    You grew up with your grandparents?

    Yes. After my dad passed, my mum moved back in with her parents. Then, she went back to school and married my stepfather after she got her Higher National Diploma. 

    My stepfather doesn’t live in the country but has a couple of businesses here, so my mum manages them.

    This is a good place to ask about the first thing you did for money

    While trying to get into university in 2013, ASUU went on a six-month strike. My secondary school’s principal encouraged me and some other new graduates to return to teach the junior classes. 

    So, I started teaching a special needs JSS 2 student maths, English and basic science lessons on weekdays and got paid ₦10k monthly.

    It was the first time I had money that wasn’t given to me. I spent most of it on clothes, and because I didn’t really know what to do with money, I also naively lent some to my mum’s sibling who lived with us at the time. Of course, I never got the money back.

    I was at the job for two months and left after the term ended. By the time the new term started, I had gotten into uni. I started classes in January 2014. 

    Did you do anything for money in uni?

    I didn’t. I’d say it was because I grew up without needing to be financially responsible for myself. Apart from the gifts I got when I was younger, my stepfather took on the responsibility when my mum married him, so I never worried about money.

    I only started working after graduating from uni in 2017. There were some delays with my clearance for NYSC, so I took up a client communications internship with a financial institution the following year.

    How did you get the job?

    I had been home for about four months doing nothing, so my stepdad spoke to my half-sister who worked there. Fortunately, they were taking interns, and I got in. It paid ₦60k/month (₦3k per each day you worked).

    Most of my salary went into paying for data to stream movies. I also tried to save, but after spending heavily on data and buying ₦1k chicken and chips daily, I realised ₦60k wasn’t plenty money. 

    I also gave a cousin ₦20k once to help pay her uni admission acceptance fee. Like me, she also lost her dad early, and we’d grown close. So, she and her siblings tend to look to me as an elder sibling, and I support them occasionally.

    I spent only five months at the company, though. 

    Why did you leave?

    I was supposed to go back to school for clearance. I lived and worked in Lagos, and school was in Port-Harcourt. But something happened, and I couldn’t go again. To think that I already resigned officially.

    Yikes. So, what did you do next?

    I stayed at home again for another three months. In January 2019,  I got another job as an audit intern. This time, the salary was ₦40k/month.

    How did this one come about?

    My stepdad came through again. His cousin owned the company and helped me get a foot in. This time, though, I spent all the ₦40k salary on transportation. We lived on the mainland, and the office was in Ikoyi. My stepdad even had to give me an additional ₦40k monthly for the two months I worked there so I could fend for myself.

    You worked there for only two months?

    I resigned when it was time to return to school and finally do my clearance and convocation.

    I eventually got called up for service in June 2019 and was posted to Jigawa. But I redeployed to Ogun where they first sent me to a village. Then I worked my way to a government office. However, I never actually worked there.

    How?

    They weren’t paying corps members stipends, and I wanted to return home. There was no point planting myself in Ogun when I didn’t see a future there, and there were better career opportunities for me in Lagos.

    From my ₦19,800 NYSC allowance, I paid a guy at my PPA ₦6k monthly and a lady at CDS ₦5k/month so I wouldn’t have to show up. I did have to go to Abeokuta once a month for clearance, and the cost of transportation was ₦5k. At the end of the month, I’d only have ₦3k left from my allowance.

    What were you doing in Lagos?

    My half-sister got me another internship with the same financial institution in August 2019. The payment structure was still ₦3k for every day I worked and ₦60k/month on average. But they started deducting 5% of my salary for tax, and I was left with ₦57k/month.

    This was how the internship worked: The company had different projects at different points in time. A regular team handled these, but but sometimes they had a lot of backlogs to clear. They hired interns for the number of months required to clear them. 

    When I came on, they needed interns for a year. So, I joined the reconciliation and resolutions team, and my job was data entry and extraction. I was there until March 2020, when the COVID lockdown sent us all home.

    What happened after?

    I was at home. I even tried my hand at a YouTube lifestyle channel, but I only did it for a bit and stopped. Now, I regret I didn’t use the opportunity to build skills in data science and analytics. I became interested in the field during the internship, and I still feel like I wasted time not acting on that interest. Maybe it’s because I didn’t have enough career information then. I’m on my younger cousins’ necks now to build skills so they don’t waste valuable time like I did.

    But what was money inflow like?

    Remember the internship was for a year? It was supposed to end in July, but we had to close work in March. However, they paid our salaries till July. I was also collecting NYSC’s allowance, which had increased to ₦33k. So, that’s what I used to cover my data expenses, food — I had moved in with a family to be closer to work — and sometimes send money to my cousins. 

    I also got random ₦10ks from my stepdad when I complained about needing money. I returned home in July and had no income till August —I received a payment from my late paternal grandfather’s property.

    What property was that?

    My grandfather had five flats. Each flat was given to one child as an inheritance. Since my dad was dead and I was his only child, the rent income from his flat was given to me. 

    I got ₦140k in the first year. It was supposed to be ₦400k, but my uncles said they removed some money as my contribution for my great-grandma’s 50th memorial party and some remodelling work at her grave. 

    It’s an annual payment, so I expected ₦400k the following year. But I got ₦300k. I believe they think I’m young and have no responsibilities, but I don’t fight it. I’m just glad to receive something.

    I get what you mean. Back to 2020 

    I wasn’t getting an allowance since I was home, so I managed that ₦140k from August till December, when I got a modelling gig. 

    How did you get into modelling?

    It was a one-off gig, really. I’d been interested in modelling since 2016 but decided to explore it with a friend who had a modelling agency in 2019. We tried to get me cast for a fashion week show, but I didn’t get in. 

    In December 2020, I auditioned for another fashion week. I got in and was paid ₦200k for the five-day event. 30% of the pay was my friend’s — technically my agency’s — cut, so I got ₦140k at the end. 

    Subsequently, I did a couple of free gigs where they’d pay for my transportation and snacks. I did another paid job in May 2021, though: a designer paid me ₦50k for a one-day show. After the agency took its 30% cut, I was left with ₦35k. 

    I stopped modelling entirely when I wanted to gain weight, but my agency kept pressuring me to lose even more weight. 

    We were given specifications, too. Your hips couldn’t be more than 33 inches, your bust 31 inches, and a waist between 24 and 26 inches. It was too stressful for me, and I wanted to look healthy. I’m 5’10, and I weighed 55kg. By BMI calculations, I was underweight. I just decided to let it go.

    Were you doing something else for work?

    Yes. The income from modelling wasn’t consistent, so I took up another brief internship with the financial institution in 2021. It was the same ₦3k daily arrangement, but I had completed NYSC and was qualified to apply to be a full-time staff member. A month into the internship, I applied to go full-time, but I failed the test.

    Oh, no

    It was really depressing. I felt like I’d lost an opportunity, and I disliked how they didn’t even rate interns and treated us anyhow. Soon, the work environment started affecting my mental health, and I resigned after three months. 

    Funny enough, two weeks after I left, I heard that some interns spoke with management to increase the daily pay. Instead of increasing it, they fired all the interns and got new ones.

    Mad o

    I’d always been interested in natural hair. So, after doing nothing for two months, I started an apprenticeship with a natural hair care salon. My stepdad paid ₦75k for the training, which lasted seven months. 

    I wasn’t paid during that period. Thankfully, my stepdad came through again and put me on an ₦80k monthly allowance.

    After the training ended, they offered me employment as a junior stylist. I did that for only a month.

    Why?

    They paid ₦40k/month, but I worked six days a week. The distance was also a factor. I was on the mainland, and the salon was in Ikoyi. So, I was always late, and they’d always complain about it. 

    Plus, I noticed some senior stylists only got paid ₦50k to ₦60k/month. The manager’s salary was ₦120k. It was obvious there wasn’t much hope for income growth. Granted, the customers were rich IJGBs and Ikoyi wives who tipped well, but it wasn’t sustainable. The entire salary was only enough for transportation, and I couldn’t rely on making an average of ₦1,500 daily in tips.

    Were you spending on anything besides transportation and food?

    Those were my major expenses. There were also the occasional expenses on clothes and other stuff. I just know I didn’t usually have money left to save.

    What was the next step after leaving the salon?

    I began applying for bank graduate trainee opportunities. I also got into a self-paced data science and analytics training with a data camp. It was free, and I had access to the courses for one year, but I couldn’t practise what I was learning because I didn’t have a laptop. It’s still there if I ever get the chance to go back to it.

    In September 2022, I got accepted into two banks, and I picked the one whose training school started earlier. Plus, the other bank had a clause where you had to work for two years or pay ₦2m if you wanted to leave before then. The bank I chose had a one-year compulsory stay clause and ₦1m in lieu of one year. It was a no-brainer.

    Training school covered a six-month period, which was later extended to eight months due to a couple of delays with the bank. I was paid ₦60k/month for the first four months before it was increased to ₦100k/month for the remaining months. 

    I became a full-time staff member in May 2023, and my salary was updated to ₦307k. It was increased again in August due to the state of the economy, and now my salary is ₦375k.

    How do you feel about your finances right now?

    I’m finally making money that makes me happy. I don’t really have responsibilities, but I can comfortably get things I want without thinking too much about it. 

    What are some of those things in a good month?

    I just started saving the ₦75k because I feel like I’m in a position where I can save more. But I still spend more than I save, and I’m hoping to figure out how to manage my finances better soon. But unlike before, when I’d be broke before the end of the month, it’s better now. Of course, I’d still like to earn more so I can do more things.

    Can you tell me about some of those things?

    My boyfriend is currently working on his Canadian permanent residency, which involves money. I’ve lent him about ₦500k for the process. When he gets an invitation to apply (ITA), he’ll need to include me in the application, which will cost 1,500 CAD for each of us. 

    We may also need to get married, pay ₦107k for IELTS and get my degree evaluated by WES for $251. In summary, I’ll need about 6,500 CAD for my application and plane tickets. So, I need to make money.

    [ad][/ad]

    How much would you need to earn monthly for that to happen?

    Ideally, ₦800k or $1k. I currently work as a relationship manager at the bank, but I’m still interested in data analytics. I feel like tech is what will give me the opportunity to get jobs that’ll pay me in dollars. It’s still just a want, though. I’m not sure how to get there. But I’m happy with my current career progression.

    When was the last time you felt really broke?

    January. I was still in training school earning ₦60k/month. I typically get paid on the 24th, but they paid on the 9th in December. I thought that meant the 13th-month salary was coming. It turned out they only paid full-time staff a 13th-month salary. I was broke-broke all through January.

    What’s one thing you want right now but can’t afford?

    A MacBook. Last I checked, it was ₦860k.

    Is there anything you wish you could be better at financially?

    Saving and managing my money. I use a money planner, but I don’t use it daily. Meaning, I forget what I spent that day or dropped money somewhere I can’t remember. 

    How would you rate your financial happiness? The scale is 1-10

    6. I’ve grown up without much responsibility, and I’ve mostly only spent money on myself. What I earn right now is enough for me, and I’m happy. I only regret that I didn’t use my free time to work on myself and upskill. I see what people are doing around me, and although I envy them, I still struggle to put in the work.

    I still can’t believe there was a time I was receiving so many allowances from home, but I just spent it anyhow. I think I wasted a lot of opportunities.

    What do the next few years look like for you?

    I may take a professional accounting course since I plan to relocate. If I don’t stay in finance, it’ll be data. I just need to work on building opportunities for my future.


    If you’re interested in talking about your Naira Life story, this is a good place to start.

    Find all the past Naira Life stories here.

  • What We Know About Mr Ibu’s Health and How You Can Help

    What We Know About Mr Ibu’s Health and How You Can Help

    Veteran Nollywood actor Mr Ibu recently released a video seeking financial aid for an undisclosed ailment. However, the family recently announced that his leg was amputated to keep him alive.

    Here’s all we know about the situation so far.

    What We Know About Mr Ibu’s Health and How You Can Help

    What is happening?

    Nigerian actor, John Okafor, AKA Mr Ibu is currently on admission at a medical hospital in Lagos.

    On Wednesday, October 18, Mr Ibu released a video on his official Instagram page soliciting financial aid for a medical condition.  He revealed that doctors had informed him of the possibility of getting one of his legs amputated. 

    A history of Mr Ibu’s condition

    While the actor’s recent medical situation has stirred concern from fans and fellow Nigerians, this is not the first time he has been ill.

    Mr Ibu’s adopted daughter, Lady Jasmine, first drew attention to the actor’s health in March 2022 after he landed in the hospital.

    Although the exact diagnosis was not revealed to the public, the actor was on admitted for several days at the Zenith Medical and Kidney Centre in Abuja. 

    At the time, industry colleagues, including Monalisa Chinda, who was the PRO of the Actors Guild of Nigeria (AGN) paid a courtesy visit to the actor at the hospital.

    In an interview after he was discharged, Mr Ibu claimed he was poisoned, hence his admission to the hospital.

    “I was poisoned, but not at an entertainment event in Abuja. I was poisoned in my home town, and then I journeyed to Abuja, where the poison affected me and grounded me. At a point, I almost gave up, but God said, ‘No, you are not going to give up. And here I am. I have been discharged.’”

    The actor was admitted again by May 2022, spending his wedding anniversary with his wife at the hospital. However, by June 2022, he was out of the hospital and started showing signs of recovery.

    Mr Ibu resumed on movie sets, started making more appearances on social media and even featured in comedy skits.

    In September 2023, the actor celebrated his 40 years on screen with many colleagues and well-wishers joining him to mark the occasion. Unfortunately, his health seemed to take another hit shortly after the event.

    [ad]

    What are colleagues doing?

    Shortly after his call for help, several colleagues in the entertainment industry have used their platforms to amplify Mr Ibu’s plight.

    Veteran actor, Kanayo O. Kanayo released a video urging fellow industry colleagues and kindhearted Nigerians to donate towards Mr Ibu’s medical aid.

    He, however, clamped down on author, Reno Omokri, who had shared a tweet emphasising Ibu’s support of Labour Party (LP) presidential candidate, Peter Obi, during the general elections. Omokri claimed the actor joined others to raise funds for Obi as such the politician should return the favour.

    Meanwhile, celebrities like Davido, Tunde Ednut, and Paul Okoye amongst others have rallied support for the ailing actor and promised to do their bit.

    Mr Ibu’s leg amputated 

    On November 5, 2023, Mr Ibu’s adopted daughter, Lady Jasmine, shared an update about his health on behalf of the family.

    According to her, the actor successfully had seven surgeries. Unfortunately, one of his legs had to be amputated.

    “As of 1 p.m., noon today, Daddy has gone through 7 successful surgeries but to keep him alive and increase his chances of recovery one of his legs had to be amputated. This development has been hard on us all but we’ve had to accept it as Daddy’s new reality to keep him alive.”

    What can you do to help?

    In a video, Mr Ibu explained the doctors have informed him of the possibility of amputation if efforts to remedy his condition prove futile. The actor pleaded with members of the public to support him with prayers. 

    Now that his leg has been amputated, the family is still calling on kindhearted Nigerians for financial support.

    “Please we are still soliciting support from well-meaning Nigerians at this stage,” the actor’s daughter wrote.

    The actor’s bank account details have been made available for members of the public willing to donate towards his well-being. A direct mobile number has also been provided for members of the public.

    What We Know About Mr Ibu’s Health and How You Can Help

    How are Nigerians reacting?

    Many Nigerians who grew up watching the iconic actor are saddened by the news of Mr Ibu’s predicament and have wished him well.

  • #ENDSARS: A Timeline of Events That Shaped October 2020

    #ENDSARS: A Timeline of Events That Shaped October 2020

    On October 9, 2023, a Lagos State High Court sentenced Nigerian police officer, Drambi Vandi, to death after he was found guilty of fatally shooting Lagos-based lawyer, Bolanle Raheem.

    Vandi shot Raheem, an expectant mother, on Christmas Day in 2022 in Ajah, Lagos state. While this sentence offers respite and some level of justice to the victim’s loved ones, the country is still riddled with pockets of police misconduct and brutality against citizens.

    #ENDSARS: A Timeline of Events That Shaped October 2020

    Source: Maritime First Newspaper

    In commemoration of the third-year anniversary of the #ENDSARS protest, we’ve compiled a timeline of notable dates and events that defined October 2020.

    But first, what were the five-point demands of the Nigerian youths who stormed the streets in unity to demand an end to police brutality?

    #ENDSARS Five-Points Demand

    • End SARS
    • Compensations for victims of police brutality
    • Investigation of police misconduct and prosecution of the indicted
    • Release of arrested protesters
    • Increase in the salaries of police officers

    A timeline of events that shaped October 2020

    October 3, 2020

    A video surfaced on social media showing the moment SARS in officers Ughelli, Delta State, assaulted a Nigerian man. The clip sparked public outrage and escalated into widespread protest in the state.

    October 4, 2020

    Then Minister of State for Labour, Festus Keyamo, in an X post claimed the young man in the viral video from Ughelli, Delta State was alive. He claimed he spoke with the victim’s brother, Ochuko.

    October 6, 2020

    The protest continued in Delta State with youths blocking off major roads and ultimately driving heated conversations on X.

     [ad]

    October 8, 2020

    Demonstration kicks off across major cities in Nigeria. Young people, including celebrities, in Lagos converge at the Lagos State House of Assembly complex to protest against police brutality. Many spent the night there.

    October 9, 2020

    Police forcefully disperse peaceful protesters at the police headquarters in Abuja. Meanwhile, members of the Lagos State House of Assembly addressed protesters.

    October 10, 2020

    Protests continue across the country. The situation takes a heated turn after police officers in Ogbomosho, in a bid to disperse peaceful protesters, shot Jimoh Isiaq.

    October 11, 2020

    #ENDSARS: A Timeline of Events That Shaped October 2020

    Source: Signal

    IGP, Mohammed Adamu, announced the dissolution of the SARS unit. However, demonstrations continued across the country, with three more protesters shot dead in Ogbomosho.

    October 12, 2020

    Ebonyi youth joined the ENDSARS protest while Governor Nyesom Wike of Rivers State banned protests in the state. Meanwhile, stray bullets from the police killed a bystander in Lagos.

    October 13, 2020

    Source: Premium Times

    Protesters defy Governor Nyesom Wike’s order and trooped out to protest. The governor of Lagos State, Babajide Sanwo Olu, met President Muhammadu Buhari to discuss the protests and demands.

    October 13, 2020

    The FG announces the establishment of the Special Weapons and Tactics (SWAT) team to replace the disbanded SARS unit. Governor Sanwo-Olu announced a ₦200 million fund for victims of police brutality.

    October 14, 2020

    #ENDSARS: A Timeline of Events That Shaped October 2020

    Source: Rex Features

    Nigerians in Belgium, the U.K., and the U.S. joined the #ENDSARS protest. Meanwhile, pro-SARS individuals attacked protesters and burnt vehicles in Lagos and Abuja.

    October 15, 2020

    FCT minister, Muhammad Bello, banned protests in the capital city. International hacking group, Anonymous, infiltrated the Nigerian police website.

    October 16, 2020

    X created a special emoji to show solidarity with the #ENDSARS movement. Meanwhile, Muslim faithfuls in Lagos held the Friday jummah prayer on protest grounds.

    October 17, 2020

    Two protesters died in Osun after hoodlums hijacked the peaceful protest in the state.

    October 18, 2020

    The National Examination Council (NECO) postponed its examination for the year.

    October 19, 2020

    Hoodlums attacked the Benin Correctional Centre to free some inmates in one of the cells. The Nigerian Correctional Service (NCoS) condemned #ENDSARS protesters for non-peaceful and destructive actions.

    October 20, 2020

    #ENDSARS: A Timeline of Events That Shaped October 2020

    Governor Sanwo announced a state-wide curfew late evening in Lagos, but some protesters remained at the Lekki Toll Gate area. Later, soldiers deployed to the Lekki Tollgate area opened fire on protesters. Gory videos and images of blood-stained Nigerian flags flooded social media.

    Notable events post #ENDSARS protest

    October 19, 2021

    Source: The Nation

    Lagos State Judiciary Panel of Inquiry concludes its findings into alleged shootings that took place on October 20, 2020, at the Lekki Tollgate. The panel awarded a total of ₦410.2 million to over 70 petitioners as compensation.

    October 20, 2021

    Police in Lagos and Ogun insist that there should be no street protests in commemoration of one year anniversary of #ENDSARS protest.

    November 15, 2021

    Governor Sanwo-Olu sets up a four-member committee for white paper reports on the reports submitted by the Judicial Panel of Inquiry on Restitution for victims of SARS-related abuses and other matters.

    October 20, 2022

    #ENDSARS: A Timeline of Events That Shaped October 2020

    Police fire teargas at peaceful protesters who converged at the Lekki Toll Gate to mark the second anniversary of the #ENDSARS protest in Lagos.

    You’ll have your fill of grilled, peppered or fried meat and many more at Zikoko’s meat festival on November 11. Have you bought your Burning Ram ticket? You can do that real quick here.

  • We Ranked the School Uniforms of 15 Nigerian Private Schools

    We Ranked the School Uniforms of 15 Nigerian Private Schools

    This might sound weird, but my favourite part of going to school as a kid was wearing my school uniform. The pattern was nothing like I’d seen on students from other schools, so I blushed when random adults asked questions like “What’s the name of your school?” 

    These days I can’t shake off the suspicion that something is off in the uniform selection department of Nigerian schools. What is the obsession with agriculture green and bedroom blue? Anyway, I decided to rank the best school uniforms of 15 Nigerian private schools.

    What do you think?

    15. Christ the King International School, Anambra

    This uniform could have been IT, but it’s giving hypnotic. The hypnotism aside, I can see what the school management was going for; it’s a bit sad they missed the road. 

    14. Hope High British International School, Abakaliki, Ebonyi

    We Ranked the School Uniforms of 15 Nigerian Private Schools

    This uniform could have been fire but something is off about that chequered shirt x black trouser combo on the male students. 

    13. Olashore International School, Osun

    We Ranked the School Uniforms of 15 Nigerian Private Schools

    For one of the most expensive schools in the South West, this uniform is just there. The grey pinafore on the junior students is giving cleaner vibes. But they tried with the blazer on the seniors. Can you spot that shade of blue though?

    12. Citadel International School, Ikare-Akoko, Ondo

    We Ranked the School Uniforms of 15 Nigerian Private Schools

    There’s international in the name of this school, but I don’t know what that is about because what is this uniform? I mean, it’s decent but very heavy on the government school uniform vibes. Also, what in the Boy-Alinco cap is going on here?

    11. Kadwel International Schools, Kaduna State

    We Ranked the School Uniforms of 15 Nigerian Private Schools

    I don’t know if it’s the pose, the chequered skirt or rhyming ties, but I’m sold on the ministry of this uniform. But those oversized blazers? Management, please now.

    10. Day Waterman College, Abeokuta, Ogun

    White is safe, but when you combine it with grey and navy blue, it’s simply giving low effort. I could see students in this uniform and link them to about 10 other schools. What is the obsession with Nigerian private schools and ties? 

    9. Queens College, Lagos

    If you can ignore the blue-on-blue coordination, you’ll have to give it to the school for being audacious enough to go sleeveless. I won’t give any verdict on the beret…for now.

    [ad]

    8. Chrisland Schools, Lagos, Abuja

    We Ranked the School Uniforms of 15 Nigerian Private Schools

    It’s too much green going on. But they get some marks for the chequered skirt and blazers. 

    7. Atlantic Hall, Lagos

    I don’t like that this uniform is this low on the list, but look at it and tell me the blue tie and navy blue jacket are not giving bank-graduate-trainee. I’ll carry my bank problems to these kids at first sight. But the fit is clean sha.

    6. Grange Schools, Lagos

    I mean, look at their faces. That’s the exact look you wear when your uniform isn’t giving a 100 but you have to put it on five times a week. 

    5. Corona Schools, Lagos

    I like the tie, the blazer and black knee-length socks. Makes for a clean look that instantly lets you know that this is a top school student.

    4. British International School, Lagos

    This might be the best execution of green-coloured uniforms I’ve seen in a long while. The chequered skirt and short-sleeve work.

    3. Lekki British International School, Lagos

    We Ranked the School Uniforms of 15 Nigerian Private Schools

    At first sight, it looks like a lot is happening. But when you take a closer look, you’ll appreciate the colour combination of this uniform. Can you see the way they stand in sharp contrast to their teachers? I like that. 

    2. Edidot Schools, Lagos

    Finally! A school uniform that is not blue, green or grey? Inject it please. You can just tell that management took their time to design this uniform. That rafia-themed hat alone is a win!

    1. American International School, Lagos

    We Ranked the School Uniforms of 15 Nigerian Private Schools

    Because they’re the closest school that comes to having mufti as uniforms, and I’m 100% with that. I mean, are you looking at this uniform and immediately thinking of school? Exactly.

    What does your budget for meat look like? You’ll find out at our upcoming meat festival in Lagos. Grab tickets to Burning Ram here.

  • 5 Surefire Ways People Make Money In These Trying Times

    5 Surefire Ways People Make Money In These Trying Times

    Whenever a money conversation comes up  somewhere in Nigeria, there is that one person that’ll say something like “there’s money is where money is.” 

    What you don’t know is, they’re telling you that they aren’t suffering (like the rest of us) because they are at least one of  the following things:

    Social media influencer

    You should know that the popular online influencers eat the most. To be like them and make this mulla quickly: grow your social media accounts, buy followers if you have to. The type of content you want to post is your concern, but you can take some cues from the spectacular business models of Asiwaju Lerry, Omotabra, Regha Daniel and VeryDarkMan.

    You don’t care whether people love or hate you and your content. As long as engagements are rising and consistent, a brand will pay for your service. Be patient.

    Banger boy

    Well, to be a well-meaning banger boy. Sorry — a money making banger boy, pay for  Elon Musk’s blue tick on X and watch engagements from your viral tweets and other acts of “fooling” turn into cash.

    At least, you’ll be able to afford meals and data plans to cook more bangers.

    A prophet

    You can be a Gen-Z man of God — the type that sees visions during big events like presidential elections and new year. Or would you like to be a politician’s favourite prophet?

    You can also be an internet sensation like Oba Solomon. My friend, you’ll choke on TikTok gifts. Holy center!

    See, if you can’t see visions, learn astrology and to help your scam bank.

    A singer

    I didn’t say become a rapper o. To eat faster in this climate, it’s singing that will get you there. If you can actually sing, it’s a plus for you. If your personality is chaotic, that’s the absolute best. Nigerians will be obsessed and put you on their heads for as long as you spark conversations, good or bad.

    Abi you can’t see Portable’s boys, Youngyduu and Abuga, riding cars, getting plays and receiving bookings already? .

    Politician

    Civic education tells us politics is a way to get involved in the running of a government. But for many years in Nigeria, you talk politics and think about money and enriching yourself. If your political party is the ruling party, you won’t be hungry for the next eight years. Abi, I lied?

    Hol’up! In case you missed the news about Burning Ram, the biggest meat festival happening in Nigeria on November 11th. Get your ticket and celebrate with other meat lovers. 

  • Music Was Supposed to Be My Big Break, Now I’m Starting Life Over

    Music Was Supposed to Be My Big Break, Now I’m Starting Life Over

    When Chimodu* (28) joined a music label in the 2010s, he thought it’d help him get his big break. It didn’t. He shares his experience navigating contract issues at the label, developing a cannabis addiction and having to go to rehab, and how he’s slowly piecing his life back together.


    For anonymity, names and other identifiers have been changed.


    This is Chimodu’s* story, as told to Akintomide

    I was trying to adjust to the reality of life after uni when my friend, Ogbe* convinced me to apply to a Nigerian music label’s academy. 

    I’ve been into music since I was a teenager, and he thought the academy would help me better my craft. It made sense, so I applied.

    The label’s head is a well-known Nigerian artist and, up to that point, had been one of my biggest influences as a producer. It was an opportunity to learn from my idol, and I knew I had to take it. I even told some of my guys I’d get in even before the academy picked me. I wanted it that much. 

    Getting selected was the validation I needed at the time. Up till then, everything I knew about music was self-taught. But being something of a nerd who wanted to understand things from every possible angle, I knew I needed more technical knowledge. The academy provided that; a chance to ask questions and hone my skills — a stepping stone.

    Little did I know that this “stepping stone” would turn out to be the feet-hurting pebbles that’d steer me into a path I least expected to take.

    I resumed at the music academy in 2013  for the month-long training. The first day was nerve-wracking, at least for me. I met the organisers and the other students, and we started talking about ideas and techniques immediately. I noted something odd, though. Anytime I asked a question about music production or other technical stuff, the label head would say, “Just choose better sounds”.

    Besides the odd attitude to questions, it was a comprehensive training. They taught us about the music business and branding. Top producers, songwriters and industry people came to talk to us. There was even an entertainment law class, where we were taught not to work with anyone without signing a split sheet that detailed how payment would  work.

    But a week into the programme, the organisers began to emphasise how we needed to “do anything it takes to succeed in the game”. They asked if we’d give them the intellectual property (IP) rights to the music we’d make while in the academy. The music in question was supposed to be an academy project which seemed to be a requirement for the training, so we all said yes. 

    I should mention that the whole training was filmed, so they had video evidence of each student agreeing to release all IP rights. It wasn’t a red flag at the time because, in my head, the academy would be my big break. Even if they owned my music, the exposure would do me a world of good.

    The project never happened, by the way.

    Fast forward to the end of the training. The organisers gave us all a one-year contract to become official signees of the music company. There was a clause, though: They’d also own everything we produced under the label. 

    I showed my dad the contract, who in turn showed it to his lawyer best friend. The lawyer asked me not to sign it. I was pained, but I had to tell the label lawyers I couldn’t sign based on those terms. They refused to negotiate and asked me to remove all brand benefits like academy logo, social media handles and hashtag in the bio from my social media accounts. I was even subtly threatened not to “misyarn about them” or I’d be sued for causing “emotional distress”. It felt like I was stripped of an honour and taken back to square one.

    I couldn’t release music immediately after the academy because I thought they’d accuse me of using the social media leverage that attending the academy had given me. I didn’t want anything to tarnish my reputation or end my career before it even started, so I stayed off social media.

    While this was going on, a former mate at the label started making waves. All the hit songs on the radio had his name, and I started overthinking about money and blowing up, too. I even briefly considered contacting other guys who also attended the training, but thought against it. The lawyers would probably have told them not to talk to me or each other.

    So, I kept to myself. Then one day, Ogbe* told me that the lawyers from the label were trying to reach me. They’d told Ogbe* what happened and claimed I didn’t honour an agreement. One even said she was looking for me because she was worried.

    I thought, “Oh, maybe things can be ironed out.” So, I called the lawyer and said I was hoping to negotiate the contract. She called me a dumb ass who had wasted an opportunity and that I needed to apologise to the lead organiser for wasting his time. 

    It was like a switch flipped on in my head. I knew I wouldn’t receive that treatment if I had a hit song, or if I’d “blown”. That was my “fuck it, I must make money” moment.


    Yoo! Our Burning Ram Meat Festival will be live on November 11th. Come celebrate with us the Naija culture of meat and grill. See you.

    Click HERE to buy a ticket.


    The only problem was, I didn’t know how to invest in myself to make the money. It took me four years after the label to put out music again, and when I resumed, I focused all my energy on it, believing I had a talent people would pay for. I didn’t have a job, or money to get equipment like a studio monitor, better microphone, software, things that would help me level up.

    I just expected at least one of my songs to blow up because I put out music with friends every three months and I produced songs regularly for others.

    I was a studio rat, but I didn’t have a direction for myself. It was only fun and pleasure. I spent all my NYSC allawee on babes and weed. Same thing after my Service and during the three years that I worked as an accountant at a private firm.

    It wasn’t until I lost three years in rehab (due to my cannabis addiction since my uni days), just wasting away, that I started to take my life seriously. When I came out, two of my guys had gotten married. A couple of others had changed their cars. Guys were making moves. That was when I said, “Omo, I’m done sitting on my ass.”

    I saved up and bought a MIDI controller. I had a guitar I’d never played. I’m now learning how to play. Then, I went to a software engineering boot camp. I’m working towards positioning myself for a steady income stream from my various passions, from music to game software development to drawing and making short films.

    Currently, I’m a games software developer, and I run music projects on the side. After the projects I’m working on come out, hopefully this year, free work stops. 

    Another thing driving me to hustle now is to look at luxury cars on IG. Benzos, Lexes, Bentleys.

    But all in all, I need to make these things work, even for another reason, like my parents. They’ve done their best. But also, I need to get out of their faces. My dad thinks I’m wasting time with music and my mum treats me like a child. I don’t want all that for my life.

    My music career hasn’t turned out the way I expected, but I’ve accepted that this is my journey. I’m glad I didn’t sign into that label. Every other person in my set signed, but most are still on the same level as me. But I’m not going to be here for long, it’s grinding season for me.

    READ NEXT: People Play Ludo With My Life Because They Want to Help Me

  • Love Life: We Took a Two-Year Break to Get It Right

    Love Life: We Took a Two-Year Break to Get It Right

    Love Life is a Zikoko weekly series about love, relationships, situationships, entanglements and everything in between.

    How did you two meet?

    Paul: We met through a girl I was trying to get with in 2018. I met her at a friend’s party. I actually met two of them together, but I noticed her friend first. I still don’t know why.

    Funmi: I don’t remember meeting him on that day to be fair. I just know that my friend told me she was seriously talking to someone she met at one party we went to together. I got to know him when they started hanging out. They were in the talking stage for forever, but it eventually didn’t work out.

    Paul: We drifted apart, and she started dating someone else. By then, I was on talking terms with Funmi. I’m not sure how one thing led to another, but it did.

    When did you realise you liked each other?

    Funmi: When I started smiling stupidly anytime he called and while we spoke. We would have these hours-long calls at night, and I gladly gave up my sleep for them, which was unprecedented.

    Paul: I can’t pinpoint exactly when. 

    I just knew I wanted to spend more and more time with her, and I always wanted to hear her voice. We bonded over work wahala and the pressures of being first-borns. I also admired the work she was doing at her company, so we’d talk about ways I could be involved in some of their projects and how the company I worked for could partner. 

    We also exchanged ideas for our personal projects and advised each other on them. She was a great support system. I think we were trying to be friends when we realised there was more to our relationship.

    Funmi: He asked me out about a month later, and I immediately said yes because I didn’t think anything was wrong there.

    Paul: I still don’t think we did anything wrong, but you know how as humans we like to complicate things.

    What happened exactly?

    Funmi: The friend he originally wanted to date started making trouble the moment she found out we were together. According to her, they were exes and I was being a bad friend. I was shocked by her behaviour because they never even dated. 

    Paul: She led me on, friend-zoned me, then turned around to be angry I moved on because it was with someone she knew.

    Funmi: We thought it was a small thing until she started badmouthing us to everyone, even my siblings. Her story became that I stole her boyfriend. I actually lost some friends because of this drama. When the embarrassment became too much to bear, we decided to separate. 

    My mum called me aside to advise me that love wasn’t worth my good name. So I told him I really liked him, but maybe we should give it a break and then try again when things cleared up a bit. This was in February 2019, shortly after Valentine’s Day.

    Paul: I didn’t think we needed to break up. As far as I was concerned, we just needed to avoid the girl. But according to her, they were childhood friends and there were many people involved, including her family. So I respected her wishes and moved on. 

    I dated someone else for a while too.

    Funmi: I was heartbroken for like a year and eventually fought with the girl for good. We still don’t speak today.

    [ad]

    How did you find your way back together?

    Paul: As of March 2019, for some reason, we stopped talking completely. I think she even blocked me on WhatsApp and IG because I stopped seeing her stories and statuses. I started planning to japa in September 2019, but talk of COVID crept in from December and by March, we all know what happened. 

    We chatted a little during the lockdown in April, but in two months, that had fizzled out again.

    Funmi: The pandemic had me feeling lonely and depressed, coupled with the anxiety of job insecurity, and I just isolated myself at home. I didn’t really talk to anyone besides my parents who I still lived with at the time. I don’t know how I survived that period.

    Paul: Fast forward to January 2021, and I finally got out of Nigeria to Northampton for school.

    Funmi: I moved to Milton Keyes on a family member visa in March. 

    My parents aren’t married, and my mum has lived there for almost 20 years. As far back as 2012/13, I reached out and begged her to let me join her. It didn’t work out until 2021. 

    Then I got admission to the University of Northampton completely by coincidence. I ended up meeting Paul at a training centre for finance jobs somewhere in town. It was the craziest thing.

    Did you immediately pick up the relationship from where it left off?

    Paul: I wouldn’t say “immediately”. It was gradual. 

    But I think from the moment we saw each other in the same town in the UK for the same reason, a part of us knew we were going to continue from where we stopped. I remember seeing her and just smiling after the initial shock. I thought she stalked me all the way there.

    Funmi: See your head as if I hadn’t moved on until God decided to shove you into my life once again.

    Paul: It definitely felt good to see her again in a space where we felt free to do as we liked within the constraints of British bills. It felt like a slap on the face of the devil who tried to keep us apart. We started seeing each other every day at the training centre, then once in a blue moon, we’d run into each other on campus. 

    She was studying full-time, but I was part-time, so I had more allowance to take on jobs. I could afford the occasional dates and gifts, and she appreciated it all the more because she didn’t have as much liquid cash. 

    Funmi: In other words, I was a broke bitch who was easy to impress. 

    Paul: During the first holiday, we got jobs as carers in the same hospital and did our bus runs together. It felt so much like we were these boring married middle-aged couple, but for some reason, it was exciting.

    If you want to share your own Love Life story, fill out this form.

    What have the last two years been like together?

    Funmi: I graduated first and got a semi-good job shortly after, so the tables turned. I was the one taking us out throughout last year.

    Paul: Thank God I sowed the seed the year before. 

    Now, we’ve both graduated, and the hustle for good white-collar jobs is on. In the meantime, we have a couple of shifts between us and don’t have as much time to think about romance. 

    One thing is for sure though, we’re seriously discussing the future, and marriage is something we’ve spent the last several months planning towards.

    Funmi: We’d like to move in together to save on rent, but that’s not something I’m ready to do before taking our commitment to the next level, especially in a place like England where people move in together all the time. I don’t want us to do it and get used to it and then never get married. In Nigeria, people will keep reminding us say we never marry o. 

    Right now, we do our best to support each other, especially through career-related decisions. 

    We also try to make each other’s birthdays memorable.

    Paul: We either have a small get-together with our friends and co-workers in my apartment — it’s bigger — or an intimate dinner date at the nicest restaurant we find during the year — that we can afford. One of these two is a must.

    Funmi: We’ve also been planning to move to London. We’re saving towards that, and it will tie into our marriage plans.

    Was there an actual marriage proposal?

    Paul: Honestly, it was more like a leading conversation that happened over time. I always imagined I would be romantic about asking my future wife to marry me, but the way it happened for us was special and heartwarming in its own way.

    Funmi: It was romantic too. Romance doesn’t have to be performative or over the top. Ours was real and sincere and intimate, and I loved every second of us talking about how much we want to spend the rest of our lives together. 

    I only wish I could’ve recorded the sound bites or kept a hidden camera or something.

    Paul: But who knows, maybe I’ll still orchestrate a grand proposal just for posterity’s sake — the British tax system be merciful.

    Funmi: What then do we call this stage we’re in? We’re not married, not engaged, but we know we’ll marry soon, so are we still boyfriend and girlfriend?

    I believe it’s called “partners”. 

    Have you had a major fight yet?

    Funmi: Many.

    Paul: What do you mean? When did we fight?

    Funmi: We’ve fought sha. But I don’t even remember why.

    Paul: We have arguments and differences. I’d never call them “fights” because we’re never really angry or violent. 

    Funmi: It’s just times when we want different things, and we’re not immediately ready to compromise, at least, not until after we’ve aired our point or justifications. We never leave these fights thinking differently about each other. 

    Most times, I can’t wait to just forgive him so I can cuddle after a long shift.

    Paul: Maybe when we actually start living together, the story will be different. But I hope not.

    Do you ever think about the girl who separated you the first time, and how different things could’ve been?

    Paul: She comes up once in a while, and we just laugh.

    Funmi: There’s no point rehashing the past or thinking about what could’ve been. But that episode has made for a good anecdote at social gatherings. Always breaks the ice when we’re out together.

    Paul: I keep thinking we’ll run into her on social media one day, but she seems to have disappeared from the face of the earth.

    Funmi: She’ll be fine, dear.

    On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your Love Life?

    Paul: 8. But only because I wish we had more time to spend together.

    Funmi: Oh wow. Same. Work dey choke.

    Check back every Thursday by 9 AM for new Love Life stories here. The stories will also be a part of the Ships newsletter, so sign up here.

    DON’T GO YET: Love Life: His Last Deployment Caused My Miscarriage

  • 10 Layi Wasabi Quotes to Live By

    10 Layi Wasabi Quotes to Live By

    Layi Wasabi’s latest video had me in stitches for minutes, until it didn’t. Our man was cracking me up but lowkey dropping aspire-to-perspire gems that had me thinking about my life.

    10 Layi Wasabi Quotes to Live By

    I took the trouble of compiling 10 Layi Wasabi quotes because, at the end of the day, “it’s information that makes one fly.”

    You’re poor, but you’re intelligent

    Knowledge is power. If it doesn’t pay your bills today, wait till tomorrow. 

    A person that doesn’t like to spend money will spend money in a way that he doesn’t like

    10 Layi Wasabi Quotes to Live By

    This is your cue to spend your money on the things that matter or risk spending double on the things that don’t.

    A true prince doesn’t collect loan

    Don’t go around choosing expensive names for yourself. You might be pushing your helpers away.

    You cannot have a job in China if you don’t have a degree in Sardine linguistics 

    Yes, school na scam. But make sure you graduate and get your certificate first. 

    Be you so high, the law is above you

    10 Layi Wasabi Quotes to Live By

    The law doesn’t give a shit about who you are. Tread carefully.

    Are you willing to give your life for what you want?

    An important question to ask when you find yourself slaving away for capitalism.

    [ad]

    The lack of self-motivation is why the chicken cannot fly, she isn’t the biggest bird. Believe in yourself like an eagle, not a chicken.

    So, who are you? The chicken or the eagle? Introspect, please.

    Time is never money

    10 Layi Wasabi Quotes to Live By

    Money is money

    The poorer you are, the longer your days

    10 Layi Wasabi Quotes to Live By

    Now you know what you must do if you want to live long. 

    Hard work pays, but minimum wage

    So, do you want to work hard or work smart? Think about it.

    You’ll have your fill of grilled, peppered or fried meat and many more at Zikoko’s meat festival on November 11. Have you bought your Burning Ram ticket? You can do that real quick here.

  • “I Spent ₦25k on Asun” — Nigerians on Their Most Expensive Splurge at a Local Food Joint

    “I Spent ₦25k on Asun” — Nigerians on Their Most Expensive Splurge at a Local Food Joint

    I recently took a short trip to an amala joint in the Onipanu area of Lagos. An IG influencer had visited the spot and raved about how good and, most importantly, affordable the food was. So, I carried my ₦1k to the place and even had an extra ₦500 in case I was tempted to splurge. After completing my order, my bill came to a staggering ₦3500. How can?

    It turned out the protein servings gulped half of my bill, and while it looked like I’d splurged unnecessarily on meat, it now seems inconsequential compared to these individuals’ biggest food expenses. 

    Dayo*

    I once visited a random amala spot in Ibadan during a work trip. It wasn’t one of the popular spots, but they had quite a crowd, indicating that they did something right. I didn’t think to ask about the prices when I ordered because I assumed everything there would be cheap. I mean, it’s Ibadan and it wasn’t a fancy spot. 

    I bought assorted, bush meat and goat meat along with semo. When I asked for my bill, the attendant said ₦7500. I wasn’t sure I heard correctly, so I asked again, and then she broke down the price of everything on my plate. Apparently, bushmeat sold for ₦2500, and I bought two. 

    Sesan*

    I once took my friends out to an amala spot in Surulere. I’d just been promoted at work, and they insisted I celebrated. I chose the buka because I thought it’d be cheaper and I wouldn’t have to spend too much. Everyone got turkey, assorted meat and brokoto (cow leg) with their swallow of choice. The bill came, and it was around ₦25k. When I checked, about ₦18k of the total amount was the cost of meat. I paid, but I didn’t leave the place smiling.

    Demola*

    We had this family function in Ogun state sometime in 2022. Some of my mum’s friends arrived late when the caterers had already run out of meat. There was rice, amala and porridge, but nothing else to accompany it. I saw how distressed my mum was, and it was also quite obvious that the people that just arrived were hungry. I remembered I’d seen a suya guy setting up some blocks away from the event centre, so I went to buy from him. He was reluctant to sell his entire stock to me so I ended up buying ₦30k worth of suya.

    [ad]

    Jide*

    I once hosted my birthday at a local nightclub back in uni. Most of the day was stressful because I had a series of tests and had to submit assignments. When I returned to the hostel, my friends dragged me to the club with a plan to have some drinks and suya. 

    Unfortunately, the suya guy didn’t come, and we were left with just drinks. The owner of the place overheard us grumbling, about this and mentioned that she had asun. I don’t know if it was the birthday excitement, hunger or just the alcohol talking, but I told her to bring the entire pot of asun. When we finished and asked for the price, the asun alone was ₦25k. I’m sure it wasn’t more than ₦10-15k asun in that pot, but I didn’t bother pricing. I paid, and we left. I woke up the following day remembering how stupid I was to squander ₦25k on mid asun.

    Deji*

    I was staying with a friend in Abuja for the festive season. I stepped out one night for a walk, and on my way back I saw this nice suya spot. I had ₦2k with me, which would’ve been more than enough to buy suya in Lagos. I got to this aboki and requested chicken suya. I heard him charge another guy ₦400 for two sticks of suya so I bought five sticks each for myself and my friend. When it was time to pay, this guy returned my ₦2k and said my money wasn’t complete. 

    I was confused until he explained a stick was ₦1k. He refused when I tried to return the suya, and insisted I paid. Baba collected his complete ₦10k. I ate the suya with an aftertaste of regret in my mouth.

    John*

    I’ll always tell anyone I know to hold money when you go to these bukkas in remote villages and ask questions about the meat. Last year during a work trip to Oyo, I and a friend had to split an unexpected ₦12k bill. Turned out they served an assorted mix of bush and antelope meat. Those things don’t come cheap.

  • How to Save Your Genitalia from Going Missing

    How to Save Your Genitalia from Going Missing

    We compiled all the ways to know if there’s trouble in paradise using these firsthand accounts and what you can do about it. Know this now and save yourself.

    A strange feeling

    Most of the missing genital “victims” have described what they felt as “something leaving their body.”

    That sounds crazy, but it’s relatable — the next time you feel like GTB or Zenith Bank are removing money from your account, check on your penis.

    Genital becomes stiff

    According to one of the accusers in Abuja, the first thing one notices when the penis particularly is about to go missing is that it becomes stiff. 

    This might be hard to notice for the apparent reasons, so let’s just move to the next point.

    Private bonfire

    A woman claimed she felt a fire burning in her vagina for a long while and her body started sweating.

    Please, note down o. May arson not happen to our genitals.

    It plays hide-and-seek

    People who’ve laid complaints about their missing private organs have generally claimed their penises were “going inside,” a.k.a. reducing.

    I haven’t seen an evidence video, but who am I to dismiss others’ experiences?

    Go and wee-wee

    The moment you start feeling or note that your genitals have disappeared — before you shout and call everybody — rush to the toilet or find a closeted place to pee. Confirm for urine. If nothing, it might be a false alarm. Or not.

    Keep hands in pockets

    Maybe, just maybe if one walks around with the two hands in the pockets and stylishly clutching to one’s private organ, it won’t prise away without notice.

  • These Are The Coolest Festivals in Nigeria Right Now

    These Are The Coolest Festivals in Nigeria Right Now

    We’ve taken the trouble of compiling a list with some of the best festivals in Nigeria guaranteed to give you an out-of-country experience.

    Cultural festivals in Nigeria

    Osun Osogbo festival

    If you love art, spirituality, and nature, the iconic Osun-Osogbo festival in Osun state should be on your mind. It holds in August of every year and pays homage to the river goddess Osun. The festival features elaborate processions from the Ataoja’s palace (the town’s king) to the breathtaking Osun-Osogbo sacred Grove; a UNESCO World Heritage Site. Priests and priestesses don white attires while other festival attendees can dress as they please.

    Calabar festival

    If you’re looking for colour, pure vibes and a culturally immersive experience, this is one of the festivals in Nigeria that should be top on your radar. It was commissioned as an official festival in 2004 by former Cross River governor, Donald Duke, whose vision was to make the state a tourism hub in Nigeria and Africa. Think of the festival as Nigeria’s biggest street party for diverse ethnic groups. The music is loud, the costumes are grand and the vibes are pure flames. It goes down in December of every year.

    New Yam Festival

    These Are The Coolest Festivals in Nigeria Right Now

    This festival marks the beginning of the yam harvest season, and takes place at the end of the rainy season from early August to October every year. It is celebrated by individual Igbo communities and households so you can participate in more than one. The evening before the new Yam Festival, every piece of old yam must be consumed or discarded. On the day of the festival, only dishes made out of yam are served.  Without performing this festival as individuals or in groups, no full-fledged or mature man eats new yam in Igbo land.

    Eyo Festival

    These Are The Coolest Festivals in Nigeria Right Now

    The first Eyo Festival history can be traced back to February 1854 to honour the demise of then Oba of Lagos, Oba Akitoye. Eyo performers don white robes, colourful hats, and parade the streets, creating a mesmerising spectacle. It’s a mix of dance and flamboyant display held as the last funeral rites in honour of a departed Lagos monarch, chief or prominent individual.

    The last edition was held in 2017 as part of the activities of the Lagos At 50 celebration. It was dedicated to the late Oba Yekini Adeniyi Elegushi Kusenla II (1940-2009).

    Argungu festival

    These Are The Coolest Festivals in Nigeria Right Now

    The Argungu festival goes down in Kebbi state in north-west Nigeria. It is an annual four-day festival that starts at the beginning of March, marking the end of centuries-old hostility between the Sokoto Caliphate and the Kebbi Kingdom. Since the region is blessed with fertile rivers, fishing became an ideal way to celebrate peace. Thousands of fishermen cast their traditional handmade nets into the river hoping to catch the largest fish. The last edition was held in 2020, with President Tinubu promising to bring the festival back in his tenure.

    Durbar festival

    Think of the northern version of Ojude Oba with ties to culture and religion, and you have Kano’s annual Durbar festival. It’s a massive larger-than-life equestrian festival that captures the cultural heritage of the Hausa-Fulani people. The festival marks the Islamic holidays Eid-al-Fitr and Eid-al-Adha and is celebrated around these periods. Participants and festival attendees don colourful traditional attire, with some wearing matching outfits with their horses.

    Olojo festival

    These Are The Coolest Festivals in Nigeria Right Now

    The Olojo festival is the Yoruba people’s way of showing gratitude to God for his creations. It is also used to celebrate the remembrance of the god of iron ‘Ogun’ in Yoruba. Olojo festival goes down for three days in October, with the Ooni of Ife stepping out on the first day after seven days of exclusion. It’s believed that the time in seclusion is spent communing with ancestors and praying for his people. It’s one of the cultural festivals in Nigeria that attracts thousands of people. Olojo festival features rich sacred and cultural displays.

    Contemporary Festivals In Nigeria

    Film Festivals

    AFRIFF

    The Africa International Film Festival (AFRIFF) showcases “new creators, emerging trends in storytelling and cinematic expression from talents in Africa and the diaspora.” The annual festival runs for eight days and showcases everything from documentaries to short films and feature films. Activities include networking, panels, and collaboration opportunities for industry professionals. The next edition will hold in November 2023.

    EKOIFF

    The Eko International Film Festival (EKOIFF) “promotes the appreciation of Arts and Culture through the motion picture arts and sciences and increases tourism in Nigeria.” The inaugural edition of the festival took place in Lagos in July 2010. Subsequent editions have been held in the city at Silverbird Cinemas on Victoria Island. The festival features a showcase of documentaries, short films, feature films, short documentaries and indigenous films. The next edition takes place from March 3-8, 2024.

    Music Festivals

    Felabration

    Felabration is one of the biggest music festivals in Nigeria and it goes down annually in Lagos. The festival commemorates the life and music of the late music legend Fela Anikulakpo Kuti. Felabration features a week-long slate of activities, including debates, charity events, and a grand closing event at the Afrika Shrine in Ikeja. The 2023 edition ran from October 9-15.

    Rhythm Unplugged

    These Are The Coolest Festivals in Nigeria Right Now

    Rhythm Unplugged is an annual five-day music concert in Lagos. Music executive and CEO of Flytime Group, Cecil Hammond, organised the first concert in 2004. It usually features performances from local and international artists, among other interesting activities. The next edition is set to take place from December 21-25 at the EKO Convention centre.

    [ad]

    HomeComing Festival

    This is one of the festivals in Nigeria known to bring the diaspora brothers and sisters back home. Founded by British Nigerian music executive, Grace Ladoja, in 2017, the maiden edition was headlined by Wizkid and Skepta. Homecoming celebrates everything from music to fashion and sports.

    The Experience

    The Experience is the biggest gospel concert in the country and is known for bringing gospel artists and worshippers together to celebrate God. Head pastor of the House on The Rocks, Paul Adefarasin, is the chief convener. The Experience is held every December at the Tafawa Balewa Square in Lagos and is free to attend for all. 

    Book Festivals 

    Ake Arts and Book Festival (AkeFest)

    These Are The Coolest Festivals in Nigeria Right Now

    Source: Littafi

    The Ake Arts and Book Festival is an annual event organised by Book Buzz Foundation, a non-governmental organisation The festival brings together authors, poets, filmmakers, and other creative minds to promote literacy and features book readings, panel discussions, art exhibitions, and more. The next edition will be held from November 23 -25 in Lagos State.

    Kaduna Book and Arts Festival (KabaFest)

    Source: The Guardian

    KabaFest is an annual four-day festival that brings together writers, artists, and intellectuals to discuss and celebrate arts and literature. It is organised by the Kaduna State government in collaboration with the Book Buzz Foundation. KabaFest features booklogues, panel discussions, art exhibitions, and film screenings with poets, authors, artists, musicians, filmmakers and thinkers. The 2022 edition took place from September 14-17 in Kaduna state.

    LIPFest (Lagos International Poetry Festival)

    This is the go-to festival for lovers of poetry. LIPFest has been held annually since its inaugural edition in 2015. It features poetry readings, performances, workshops, and panel discussions around curated themes. The 2023 edition was held from October 26-29.

    Art festivals in Nigeria

    Art X

    It’s among the best festivals in Nigeria to attend if you’re an art lover or enthusiast. Art X is a paid art fair in Lagos that’s big on traditional and contemporary arts. The annual three-day event features curated works from different countries. Some of the activities include panel discussions, live painting, interactive pro art projects and more. The next edition will be held from November 2-5.

    LTF

    These Are The Coolest Festivals in Nigeria Right Now

    Founded by the British Council in 2013 as part of its efforts to strengthen relationships between Nigerian and British artists, the Lagos Theatre Festival (LTF) is the largest performing arts festival in Nigeria. It seeks to present and celebrate the high quality of Nigerian and British theatre. Since its inception, LTF has hosted 6 festivals. The 2023 edition was billed to take place in February but was postponed due to the general elections.

    Lagos Fringe Festival

    These Are The Coolest Festivals in Nigeria Right Now

    It’s an open-access multidisciplinary arts festival that welcomes all from the creative industry and provides a platform for new voices. LFF supports artistes to present a creative mix of theatre, poetry, film, spoken word, magic, cabaret shows, exhibitions, literature, dance and music etc. The next edition will be held from November 21-26, 2023.

    Food festivals

    Lagos Seafood Festival

    The annual festival was rebranded to “Lagos Food Festival” in 2022, but you’re still sure to find interesting sea food when you attend.

    Jos Food Festival

    Source: Sunday Alaba

    If you’ve ever been curious about what food on the Plateau tastes like, you might want to add the Jos Food Festival to your itinerary. It features indigenous food displays and local musical performances.

    Burning Ram

    These Are The Coolest Festivals in Nigeria Right Now

    If you think about it, meat may be every food lover’s origin story. Almost all of us passed through a stealing-meat-from-the-pot phase — don’t even deny it. Burning Ram celebrates the Nigerian culture of meat and grill, and the best part? The inaugural edition will hold on November 11, 2023. Tickets are available here

    Ofada Rice Festival

    It’s a one-day event held annually at the popular Muri Okunola Park in Lagos. Just as the name suggests, it’s a celebration of the locally grown rice in Nigeria. The next edition will be held in December 2023.

  • What You Shouldn’t Do When You Find Treasure in Nigeria

    What You Shouldn’t Do When You Find Treasure in Nigeria

    If you’ve seen Tade Ogidan’s Diamond Ring, William Uchemba’s Mamba’s Diamond, and Kunle Afolayan’s latest, Ijogbon, you’ll agree when I say Nigerians don’t know how to act when they find treasure.

    What You Shouldn’t Do When You Find Treasure in Nigeria
    Lead cast of Ijogbon

    While the movies may be far-fetched from reality (because BFR, is there any treasure left to find in Nigeria?), it’s important to highlight the things you shouldn’t do when you get lucky and find diamonds or gold in this land. 

    *SPOILER ALERT

    Don’t: Talk

    What You Shouldn’t Do When You Find Treasure in Nigeria

    Everything took a downward spiral after the four friends found the diamonds and started cooking up ideas right on the same spot. 

    Do: Go home, drink water, take a shower, and that’s only when you’ll make decisions with a sound mind.

    Don’t: Patronise a lousy dealer called Owonifaari

    What You Shouldn’t Do When You Find Treasure in Nigeria

    It was nice enough that they were smart not to involve the police, but they compensated for that by making a terrible mistake. Listen, a dealer can make or mar you. 

    Do: Wake up every morning and stare at your treasure knowing you’re only a footstep away from poverty.

    Don’t: Go outside

    What You Shouldn’t Do When You Find Treasure in Nigeria

    Outside is dangerous enough when you don’t have money, so when you are a walking bag of diamonds, you should be scarce. 

    Although they had a secret shed as their hideout, they did a terrible job with it, hence why they were easily spotted.

    Do: Be unavailable 

    [ad]

    Don’t: Splurge

    Your brain is probably thinking “cash out” and buy all you’ve always wanted, but that’s the fastest way to get in trouble.

    Do: Embrace sapa even more

    Don’t: Stay in the same city

    Jamiu was the only one who had his head in the game among the four friends. Our man was only thinking of heading out to Canada. The others felt a tad bit too comfortable eating where they shat. 

    Do: Japa

    Don’t: Involve third parties

    The smaller the party, the safer it is and the juicier the rewards. Oby broke this code when she brought Omo Oba to the shed where they hid the diamonds. If you must involve a third party, it shouldn’t be a royal prince who’s already set up for life.

    Do: Gatekeep

    You’ll have your fill of grilled, peppered or fried meat and many more at Zikoko’s meat festival on November 11. Have you bought your Burning Ram ticket? You can do that real quick here.

  • 10 Unconventional Twin Names Davido Should Consider

    10 Unconventional Twin Names Davido Should Consider

    Davido and his wife, Chioma Rowlands, recently welcomed twins in the US. He shared the news on Saturday at the UnitedMasters SelectCon 005 event while speaking as a panellist.

    The naming ceremony is billed to hold this week, so we went to the trouble of compiling some name suggestions.

    David and Davina

    10 Unconventional Twin Names Davido Should Consider

    It high-key slaps hard to name your kids after yourself. 

    Likeadis and Likeadat

    10 Unconventional Twin Names Davido Should Consider

    Is Davido a fortune teller? He personally coined this in his 2016 hit song, Skelewu.

    Explain and Evidence

    So that Chioma and David wouldn’t stress for answers when the twins get up to mischief. “Explain, who broke this cup? It is Evidence.”

    Oginidis and Oginidat

    10 Unconventional Twin Names Davido Should Consider

    Chioma wouldn’t have to stress whenever she wants to scold them since “ogini” is the Igbo word for what. For example, they scatter the house and she goes “Oginidis, Oginidat?”

    Terms and Conditions

    10 Unconventional Twin Names Davido Should Consider

    We know the twins are already set up for life but seeing “Terms and Conditions apply” on job vacancies is a real morale booster. 

    Woss and Wobi

    In case he wants to give them a good scolding in the Yoruba daddy style. 

     [ad]

    Iskaba and Iskelebete

    When your daddy is an afrobeats legend, your name should be music to the ears. 

    Goodness and Mercy

    So that they’ll always follow them. 

    Praise and Worship

    Because the Lord has been good.

    Sungba and Sungbalaja

    So that Grandpa and Grandma will rest easy knowing their grandkids have traditional names. 

    You’ll have your fill of grilled, peppered or fried meat and many more at Zikoko’s meat festival on November 11. Have you bought your Burning Ram ticket? You can do that real quick here.

  • Interesting Facts About the Women of Afrobeats According to Spotify

    Interesting Facts About the Women of Afrobeats According to Spotify

    Two decades before it became known as “Afrobeats”, women have been there, contributing to contemporary Nigerian music, its artistry and culture. 

    Here are some interesting things you didn’t know about the most instrumental women to the development of Afrobeats as we know it today.

    Weird MC

    When Weird MC arrived on the scene, she came rocking a shaved head and oversized street urban wear. Her 1996 debut song, Allen Avenue, was released with a video, making her the first Nigerian artist to do so. She won the first-ever AMEN award for Best Hip-Hop Album (Simply Weird) in 1997 and was the first Afrobeats artist to make an animated music video (Ijoya, 2005). This woman is the coolest since cucumber.

    City 105.1 FM

    Sasha P

    Sasha P is another Afrobeats woman who has accomplished many “firsts”. She was the first Nigerian woman to perform at the World Music Awards in 2008 and was awarded Best Female Artist at the Women in Entertainment Awards in the U.K. the next year. In 2010, Sasha P won the MTV Africa Music Award for Best Female Artist. We’re grateful she spent the money for her SAT forms on a studio session. Sacrifice like that is why she’s still recognised as the First Lady of Nigerian Hip-Hop.

    TooXclusive

    Efya

    The Ashanti singer might’ve gone viral after her Don’t Judge Me cover in 2013, but before that, there was her Irene & Jane era which came from her first music deal in 2011. Ghanaian artists who’ve won Best Female Vocal Performance at the Ghana Music Awards four times back-to-back can be counted on one palm. Efya has been there, done that.

    Daily Post Nigeria

    Waje

    Did you know the female vocals on P-Square’s Do Me and Banky W’s Thief My Kele are Waje’s? Apart from being one of the strongest R&B vocalists in Nigeria, she runs a film and TV production company, Hermanes Media — producers of She Is (2019) — with fellow singer, Omawumi. Women making money together >>>>>

    GistReel

    Goldie Harvey

    Goldie was cool. So cool, only Lady Gaga could touch her when it came to style. The late singer lived her name, with golden hair and all-gold-everything accessories. 

    Plus, it wasn’t popular when she came on the scene in 2009 with Yorùbá-infused pop music. Her unique style laid the template for the women after her.

    Gistmania

    Tiwa Savage

    Way before Kele Kele Love, Tiwa Savage had a degree from Berklee College of Music, backed up famous OG singers like Whitney Houston, Mary J. Blige and George Michael, and wrote for Babyface, Fantasia, and Monica. In 2018, Tiwa Savage became the first woman to win Best African Act at the MTV Europe Music Awards. And don’t forget Tiwa Savage is the woman who performed at the coronation of King Charles III in May 2023. Her CV >>>>>

    The Guardian Nigeria

    Simi

    She started off as a gospel singer. If you were there when Ara Ile (produced by Samklef) dropped, you know what I’m talking about. Her Restless EP was her final crossover to Afrobeats music in 20xx. Today, her catalogue is stacked with seven solid music projects. Simi is also a sound engineer with crisp music mastering and mixing skills. She engineered AG Baby’s first album, Gold.

    iamsimi.com

    Tems

    As a budding recording artist, having money issues isn’t unfamiliar. Tems began producing her own songs when she couldn’t drop a bag for production, and her vision didn’t align with most producers. For the Broken Ears is proof of her production skills. She handled 90% of it. Tems is also the first woman to win Best International Act at the BET Awards (2022) and the Nigerian with the most entries on the Billboard Hot 100 chart. She’s HER, and she knows it. Can we really blame her for taking all the space and attention when she pulls up at functions?

    WWD

    Ayra Starr

    Before Don Jazzy came across her music in 2020, Ayra Starr was a model signed to Quove Model Management. You should see her killing her role as video vixen in Eri Ife’s Dear Future Wife music video. Ayra’s story is proof that people don’t just appear on top, they’ve been grinding on the low.

    ayrastarr.com

    These women aren’t just Afrobeat musicians; their uniqueness and self-application have contributed immensely to the movement.

    To learn more cool things about what more Afrobeats women are up to, this Spotify website got you.

  • Best Savings Apps in Nigeria That Should Be on Your Radar Right Now

    Best Savings Apps in Nigeria That Should Be on Your Radar Right Now

    If you read this article where I shared some tips about saving in Tinubu’s Nigeria, you’ll know I stressed the importance of financial literacy. I’ve taken one for the team and compiled the savings apps in Nigeria that’ll put you on track to doubling your coins. 

    Piggyvest

    Best Savings Apps in Nigeria That Should Be on Your Radar Right Now

    Source: Piggyvest

    There’s a standing joke about Nigerian women and how they don’t joke with their Piggyvest accounts. It’s a popular savings app in Nigeria that offers customers different savings options. The app has a flexible savings plan that allows users instant access to funds and a target savings plan that lets users save for personal or business projects. 

    Piggyvest also has a safe-lock plan that allows users to lock away funds they don’t have an immediate need for while accruing interest.

    Interest rates:

    SafeLock offers 12.5% interest annually, target savings offers 8% interest annually, and the flexible savings plan provides 8% interest annually. 

    Piggyvest is available for download on Apple and Android phones.

    Alat by Wema

    Source: AlatbyWema

    It’s Wema’s fully digital bank, which offers several savings options for users. The stash savings option lets users save and withdraw money at will. The fixed goal savings option is preferable for users saving towards a personal or business project. Flexi goal allows users to save at a frequency of choice.

    Interest rates:

    All saving options on Alat offer a minimum of 6.5% interest rate per annum and a maximum of 10.5% interest rate per annum.
    Alat by Wema is available for Apple and Android phone users.

    Kuda Bank

    Best Savings Apps in Nigeria That Should Be on Your Radar Right Now

    Source: Kuda Bank

    Kuda is a Nigerian digital bank that offers customers a range of savings options via its mobile app. The bank has a fixed savings plan that allows users to save a lump sum and earn annual interest. However, withdrawal before maturity means users will lose accrued interest. 

    The Spend and Save plan is an exclusive feature that automatically saves (a pre-specified amount of) money every time users spend from their Kuda account. Kuda’s Flexible savings plans let users save money at will daily, weekly or monthly.

    Interest:

    The fixed savings plan offers up to 15% interest per annum, while the flexible savings plan offers up to 10% interest annually.

    Kuda Bank app is available for Apple and Android phone users. 

    Cowrywise

    Source: Cowrywise 

    Like other savings apps, , Cowrywise offers a range of savings options to suit individual needs. The regular savings plan lets users save for a minimum of three months. Money Duo is a special plan for couples looking to save for long periods. Halal savings plan caters to Muslim faithfuls who do not want interest, and the Savings Circles plan allows for joint savings by a group.

    Interest rates: Cowrywise offers a minimum of 5.50% per annum and offers as high as 8.5% per annum. 

    The Cowrywise app is available for download on Google Play Store and App Store.

    Moni

    Best Savings Apps in Nigeria That Should Be on Your Radar Right Now

    Source: Moni

    It’s a savings app that also offers loans to users. With the Moni app, users can save money through two different plans: Safebox and Reserve. With Safebox, users can be flexible with savings and save daily, weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly. Users can also set a target savings goal that lets the app make automatic transfers to help hit set savings goals. Reserve is Moni’s fixed deposit savings plan that allows users to lock away lump sums for long periods.

    Interest rates:

    Moni promises up to 21% interest rate per annum on the reserve savings plans. 

    Moni app is available for download on Google Play Store and App Store.

    [ad]

    Fairmoney

    Best Savings Apps in Nigeria That Should Be on Your Radar Right Now

    Source: Fairmoney

    FairMoney is a digital bank in Nigeria that also offers users the option to save via a mobile app. Fairmoney has two savings plans: FairSave and FairLock. 

    With FairSave, users can access funds at will without getting charged for withdrawals. It also gives daily interest alerts on your savings. 

    FairLock is Fairmoney’s fixed deposit savings plan option. Users lock a lump sum for a specified period and only get access to it when the tenure expires. Withdrawal before maturity will attract charges.

    Interest rates:

    FairMoney’s FairSave savings option offers as high as 10% interest per annum, while FairLock offers up to 18% interest rates per annum. 

    FairMoney app is available for download on the Google Play Store and App Store.

    Palmpay

    Source: Palmpay

    It’s one of Nigeria’s best money-saving apps that you shouldn’t sleep on because it also offers loans. The Palmpay app has two savings plans that cater to long and short-term goals. 

    The Flexible plan allows users to save and withdraw at will, while Palmpay’s Fixed-term savings plan suits customers looking to save for longer periods. Both plans have no minimum amount to participate, thus making it suitable for anyone.

    Interest rates: The flexible savings plan offers as high as 16% interest rate per annum, while the fixed-term savings plan offers as high as 20% per annum.

    Palmpay app is available for download on the Google Play Store and App Store.

    Disclaimer: This is not a sponsored post. Thus, it should not be taken as financial advice. Please do your research before you use any of these platforms.

    You’ll have your fill of grilled, peppered or fried meat and many more at Zikoko’s meat festival on November 11. Have you bought your Burning Ram ticket? You can do that real quick here.

  • 16 Afrobeats Quotes That Apply in Real Life

    16 Afrobeats Quotes That Apply in Real Life

    Afrobeats singers get heat for coining lyrics around sex, alcohol and flamboyant lifestyles. But if you deep it, they also wax inspirational occasionally.

    So, we compiled 20 afrobeats quotes with real-life applications.

    “Who go help you no go stress you”

    Coined by street pop artist, Portable, this is your go-to quote when someone offering help wants to make life hard for you.

    “We rise by lifting others”

    16 Afrobeats Quotes That Apply in Real Life

    30BG singer, Davido, did a madness with this one. Use it when you’re in your heavy aspire-to-perspire mode.

    “Water no get enemy”

    16 Afrobeats Quotes That Apply in Real Life

    Coined by the legendary Fela Anikulapo kuti, this quote means everyone fucks with you. You’re that guy.

    “Love is sweet o! When money enter love is sweeter”

    Another quote from Davido, this is strictly for people in relationships. Use it sparingly in these Tinubu times.

    “Ma lo fe broke niggas, fight for your life”

    16 Afrobeats Quotes That Apply in Real Life

    Rapper, Olamide, coined this quote. We’ll leave you to interpret this one.

    “Dangote still dey find money”

    16 Afrobeats Quotes That Apply in Real Life

    Odogwu Burna Boy has this one. Use it as your “never stop hustling” mantra.

    “You go explain, no evidence”

    This Burna Boy quote stresses the importance of showing proof of work.

    “Ariwo ko ni music, empty barrel lo ma n pariwo”

    16 Afrobeats Quotes That Apply in Real Life

    Coined by Adekunle Gold, this quote is another cue to show workings.

    “If you no get money, hide your face”

    16 Afrobeats Quotes That Apply in Real Life

    Small Doctor takes the credit for this self-explanatory quote. In this life, just have money.

    “The world is full of Sammy Larry”

    This Portable-inspired quote is your cue to stay woke and trust nobody.

     [ad]

    “Don’t sleep, wake up, collect your money”

    This one from Kizz Daniel is saying just one thing: hustle.

    “Nobody be your senior man, except your mama born am before them born you”

    Coined by rapper Vector, this quote tells you to face the world headstrong. You owe no one an explanation.

    “Last last, na everybody go chop breakfast”

    This Burna Boy quote is saying everybody will get what’s coming to them.

    “Before them use you, I go use my sense”

    This Asake quote is your cue to stay smart, stay woke. 

    “Sex tape o le baye mi je, igbadun kekere ni”

    This Tiwa Savage quote might be all you need to own your mistakes and move on. 

    “Iku to pa Iya teacher, o le pawon niggas”

    Here, Mohbad quote stresses the fact that death respects no one.

    You’ll have your fill of grilled, peppered or fried meat and many more at Zikoko’s meat festival on November 11. Have you bought your Burning Ram ticket? You can do that real quick here.

  • How to Spot a Twitter Swindler

    How to Spot a Twitter Swindler

    The Nigerian side of the X (FKA, Twitter) app has been hot since the news of an alleged romance scammer named Iriodalo Emmanuel Obhafuoso broke out yesterday. He allegedly goes from babe to babe and scams them of their money.

    Other victims have come to the open to share a similar story about their encounters with Obhafuoso, who also goes by OD. But this is Nigeria, the possibility of his getting apprehended or investigated is almost non-existent.

    While the jury is still out on OD, one can assume there are others like him. And they tend to follow these steps.

    Target and pattern

    Scammers will likely target accounts with not so many followers. The targets are usually single too. The reason is apparent: scammers don’t want popular victims who will make noise if their schemes fail and they get exposed. Single targets also make it easy to play on emotional vulnerability, too. They want you to be as unpopular and unsuspecting as possible.

    DMs

    Once they spot a potential victim, social interaction launches on the timeline. Gradually, they take it to the DM to spark up conversation.

    All DMs can’t be ignored or assumed to be scam, but scammers will somehow leave signs that eventually unravel their intentions. Keep reading anyway.

    Build closer relationships

    By this time, you’re comfortable with each other.You might have even shared personal information from a place of trust —Someone has dropped “lamba”, and it’s not you.

    Depending on the dynamics (friendship or romance level), the scammer capitalises on the relationship and begins soft-launching the scam.

    ALSO READ: Iriodalo Emmanuel Obhafuoso: Nigerian Man Facing Multiple Allegations of Scam

    Tell lies

    You’ll hear lies like they are based in the U.S., they work with Mastercard, or they’re globetrotters. They’ll even go as far as trying to impress you with expensive gifts.

    Then, problems come out of nowhere

    When they’ve properly gotten your attention , they begin to share their burdens with you. It may be a parent’s demise, an accident, health crises, or a donation to some orphanage in Agege or North Carolina.

    You’ll start feeling bad and wondering why they’ve been unfortunate since you met them. The moment you become concerned or touched by these stories, you’ve unlocked a a higher level of access to steal from you.

    Money and donation

    Out of your kind heart, you might think, “Why not help?” TBH, nothing should stop you from being good, but you must draw firm boundaries to protect yourself too. 

    So what to do? Share with friends or ask if the cause looks legit. Chances are someone might recognise the scammer.

    Counterattack

    Or just responding to their request with your own problems. If they  stop texting you because the whole thing has turned into a suffering Olympics, then you have your answer — You’re not giving what they want, or you don’t have what they’re looking for.

    Oya, praise Master Jesus and pay me for giving you OT Scam 101.

    Or spend the money on our Burning Ram Meat Festival tickets. It’s happening on November 11th in Lagos.

  • Maybe We Should All Be Introverts at Work

    Maybe We Should All Be Introverts at Work

    There’s this general assumption in work culture that you need to be extroverted if you want job success or recognition. Every time, “Put yourself in people’s faces” or “Use office politics to your advantage.” 

    What happens to introverts who just want to do their work and go? We shouldn’t feel forced to have to change for capitalism’s sake, and that’s why we’re making a case for introversion at work today.

    Work would be done much faster

    When you aren’t thinking about eye service or how to create unnecessary email threads as evidence of your productivity, or announcing to the rest of the team on Slack that you successfully finished a task (that you’re even getting paid to do in the first place), you know what would happen? You’d actually be productive for real.

    We’d hack work-life balance

    If companies really want us to have a work-life balance, they wouldn’t do it by organising mental health seminars, team hangs or retreats. How’s hanging out with the same people I talk to five times weekly meant to ensure I have a life outside of work? Just give us money and call it a day, please.

    No fake smiles anywhere

    Because no one would feel forced to ask coworkers, “How was your weekend?” when we all know it was spent dreading the coming week.

    No need for oversabi too

    Since you don’t have to prove you’re actually doing the work, there’s no need to overly act like you want to spend all your waking hours at the feet of capitalism.

    No one would need to pretend to have a “passion for work”

    We all know we’re working because adulting doesn’t want to leave our necks. Let’s just focus on doing the work because we have to, rather than blaming it on “passion” for the points. BFR.

    Or pretend like they care about their coworkers

    Yes, introverts like listening. But have you ever thought it might be because other people talk too much? Why do you think we care that a cat appeared by your window at night? If everyone becomes introverted, we wouldn’t have to pretend to care anymore, plus there’ll be more peace and quiet. Win-win.

    No unnecessary meetings

    Because if there’s one thing introverts generally agree on, it’s that most meetings could very well just be emails. MFJPM.


    Come November 11th 2023, we’ll be treating you to the biggest meat and food festival in Nigeria. Get a ticket to Burning Ram today.


    NEXT READ: A Case for Ending 30+ Jokes

    [ad][/ad]

  • Iriodalo Emmanuel Obhafuoso: Nigerian Man Facing Multiple Allegations of Scam

    Iriodalo Emmanuel Obhafuoso: Nigerian Man Facing Multiple Allegations of Scam

    A young Nigerian man, Iriodalo (Odalo) Emmanuel Obhafuoso (AKA, OD), is trending on X after a lady accused him of fraudulently obtaining cash — purportedly for medical aid — from unsuspecting lovers and friends. The call-out has seen more people coming forward with their alleged encounters with Obhafuoso.

    Here’s all we know about the matter so far.

    Who is Iriodalo Emmanuel Obhafuoso?

    Iriodalo Emmanuel Obhafuoso: Nigerian Man Facing Multiple Allegations of Scam

    A Google search for his name returns with a string of reports highlighting the recent allegations against him.

    According to information gleaned from a yearbook page, he completed his senior secondary school education in 2014. Odalo highlighted meeting people, daydreaming and taking risks as his hobbies. He also mentioned making the Forbes list in the next 10 years. 

    One X account allegedly linked to him, @metaphourr, has been deactivated.

    Why is he trending?

    On October 11, 2023, a lady identified as Elsavanilla (@elsavanilla) shared pictures of Obhafuoso and accused him of fraudulently obtaining cash from unsuspecting friends and romantic interests. 

    Elsavanilla claimed he’d befriend his victims, “fall deathly ill”, and proceed to seek medical financial aid.

    “This is Iriodalo Emmanuel Obhafuoso. He is a scammer. He enters girls dms, makes them comfortable talking to him and then proceeds to fall deathly ill. For me, he had heart surgery. For Bolu, he had spinal surgery.”

    [ad]

    According to her, Obhafuoso deactivated his X account (@metaphourr), which he used to communicate with her. Elsavanilla claimed she reached out to his friends to share her plight, but “none of them wanted anything to do with the situation at hand.”

    A trail of a fraudulent past

    Elsavanilla’s call-out thread garnered over 2000 quote tweets. Some users on the platform came forward with their alleged encounters with Obhafuoso and how he tried to dupe them.

    Bolu (@adefunkebola), the lady mentioned in Elsavanilla’s tweet, shared how he’d love-bombed her and began to have a “series of calamitous issues” that almost led her to give him money. 

    She, however, found out that he’d allegedly scammed one of her friends.

    One lady, @tahkeije, posted a birthday wishlist he’d allegedly shared with her ahead of a July 20th celebration.

    In the list, Obhafuoso asked for donations to a charity in Edo state, a community centre for kids in North Carolina, amongst other items.

    In screenshots shared by another lady, @youloveesther, Obhafuoso complained about his health with a sense of urgency. He said he’d been diagnosed with a heart problem and needed to undergo a thrombectomy surgery.

    https://twitter.com/youloveesther/status/1712114131879240029?s=46&t=gV-1mmgH3NC_RQhcgp1x3w

    More tweets from alleged victims below:

    Iriodalo Emmanuel Obhafuoso: Nigerian Man Facing Multiple Allegations of Scam
    Iriodalo Emmanuel Obhafuoso: Nigerian Man Facing Multiple Allegations of Scam
    https://twitter.com/o_tegaa/status/1712206575706746961?s=46&t=gV-1mmgH3NC_RQhcgp1x3w

    Where is Obafuosho now?

    At the moment, the only X account linked to him has been deactivated.

    He seems to have vanished from the internet, as there’s been no word from him.

    This is a developing story.

    You’ll have your fill of grilled, peppered or fried meat and many more at Zikoko’s meat festival on November 11. Have you bought your Burning Ram ticket? You can do that real quick here.

  • Love Life: His Last Deployment Caused My Miscarriage

    Love Life: His Last Deployment Caused My Miscarriage

    Love Life is a Zikoko weekly series about love, relationships, situationships, entanglements and everything in between.

    How did you two meet?

    Hajara: Usman and I first crossed paths during my university days in 2011. 

    I was pursuing my degree in economics at the University of Abuja, and he was stationed at the Nnamdi Azikiwe Airport as an officer in the Nigerian Air Force (NAF) Base. Our first encounter was at a charity event the Air Force was hosting on campus.

    Usman: I remember that day vividly. 

    I was struck by Hajara’s warmth and dedication to the cause — medical missions to remote and under-served areas. She gave a speech on behalf of the students, and I just sat and watched with awe. Towards the end of the function, I asked another student I knew to introduce us. 

    I found myself captivated by her intelligence and compassion.

    Hajara: After that meeting, we began to see each other frequently as I started volunteering for some of NAF’s outreach programs. The first one I volunteered for was to a village in Kwali. Usman was overseeing logistics, and I was part of the team providing medical assistance. 

    Working together in such a challenging environment brought us closer. I got to experience firsthand the impact the Air Force makes in people’s lives, and seeing Usman at the forefront of it made me admire him and his colleagues greatly.

    When did you find out you liked each other?

    Usman: She graduated in 2012 and served in the Air Force for her NYSC in 2013. During that time, I’d been transferred to Benin and back to Abuja in time to be with her at the NAF Base. I spent the time often checking in and spying on her. I even got close to her fellow corper and close friend then, just to feel close to her. 

    At the time, I’d been seeing someone else for close to five years, but because of the effect Hajara had on me, I realised the relationship had grown stagnant. On the other hand, I was impressed by Hajara’s dedication and the way she connected with the local community. She had the ability to put people at ease and make them feel comfortable.

    Hajara: After I passed out of NYSC, we started dating. I don’t know how it happened. He never asked me directly. We just started seeing each other, taking care of each other and attending functions together. Then, we got to know each other’s parents, and things were going strong. 

    We were both in Abuja for over a year when Usman received orders for a deployment to Jos. It was strange that at the time, we’d never really discussed the fact that he could have missions anywhere in the world and have no choice but to go. His departure was a challenging time for us, but it made us realise how much we wanted to be together. 

    We had a heartfelt conversation about our future, and it was during that time apart that we decided to take the plunge and get married.

    Usman: It was difficult being away from Hajara during my deployment, but it strengthened our bond and made us appreciate what we had even more. I proposed to her over Skype in 2015, and when I returned home some months later, we had an intimate nikkah ceremony with close family and friends.

    If you want to share your own Love Life story, fill out this form.

    What’s it like being married to an officer in the Nigerian Air Force?

    Usman: Being an officer can be demanding at times. 

    I had just been promoted to squadron leader when we got married. There are deployments, long hours and the inherent risks associated with military service. However, Hajara has been my rock through it all. Her unwavering support and understanding make it easier for me to fulfill my duties. We’ve learnt to cherish the time we have together.

    Hajara: The most rewarding aspect for me has been witnessing Usman’s dedication to serving our country. It’s a source of immense pride to see him in uniform. Because of him, I’m part of the close-knit army community that really rallies around you when you need them the most — the Nigerian Air Force Officers’ Wives Association (NAFOWA). The camaraderie is quite uplifting.

    The government treats you well too, with perks like scholarships and affordable housing. Once in a while, you get front-row seats to the military air shows, which I always attend with my heart in my mouth when Usman is one of the pilots but is really beautiful to watch at other times. 

    There are trying times too, like when he’s gone for a long time.

    Usman: The last time they deployed me to a different state, we relocated together to Enugu in 2018, but then, I got an assignment outside the state three months later.

    Sounds like it was a particularly tough time for you two

    Usman: It was a long and challenging mission in a distant region of the country. 

    Hajara: We expected the separation, but it didn’t make it any easier. It was a mission that required him to be in a remote area with limited communication for several months. The day he left, it was as if a piece of my heart went with him. 

    Usman: The night before I left, we had spent the entire evening together, just the two of us. Hajara had prepared my favourite meal of suya jollof rice and dan wake, and we talked about our dreams, our goals, our future, and all the little things. But there was an underlying sadness that weighed on both of us. We’d been married for three years and hadn’t had kids yet.

    Hajara: It wasn’t like we weren’t trying. We’re still trying.

    Usman: She was trying her best to be strong for me, but I could see the sadness in her eyes. We held each other that night, and I could feel the depth of our love and the pain of our impending separation. She didn’t follow me to the base, but as I entered the van, I looked back one last time to see Hajara waving goodbye, tears streaming down her face. 

    It was a sight that haunted me throughout the assignment.

    [ad]

    How do you cope with the pain of separation?

    Hajara: Coping in his absence was a daily struggle. I had to adjust to a new routine and take on additional responsibilities. But what made it hardest was not being able to hear his voice or see his face for weeks on end. 

    Usman: We communicated when we could, but it was infrequent, and we both understood that it was a part of the job. We even found a way to exchange handwritten letters and emails whenever possible, and phone calls became cherished moments. 

    Hearing her voice and knowing she was there for me gave me the motivation to carry on.

    Hajara: I also drew strength from the support of friends and fellow military families who were going through similar experiences, especially the older women. They understood the unique challenges of military life and offered a shoulder to lean on. I also stayed busy with work and volunteering. Keeping myself occupied helped distract from the loneliness and sadness.

    Usman: My other trips have been easier on us. We’re emotionally stronger now.

    You mentioned trying to have children?

    Usman: We leave it in God’s hands, but in the meantime, we have wards we’re responsible for. We take care of them in order to seek Allah’s mercy.

    Hajara: I know his parents have mentioned him taking another wife, but he knows I never wanted to be part of a polygamous home like my parents. However, the whole thing makes me anxious and his travel assignments don’t make it easier. The last time he was on an extended trip to Mali, I had a stillbirth at seven months. I’ve had six miscarriages in total, before and after that. And right now, I’m just tired.

    Usman: I’m content. If Allah doesn’t want us to have children then so be it. I won’t force it then sit back and watch as my wife’s body suffers. Thankfully, we’re not the only children of our own parents.

    Have you had any major fights?

    Usman: Not really. We cherish every moment we get to speak when I’m away, and when I return, we’re often just so happy to be with each other for as long as we get.

    Hajara: We had a major quarrel when he wanted to take another mission five months after I had that stillbirth. I was in emotional distress and couldn’t understand why he would be willing to leave me in that state. At that moment, it felt like he married the force instead of me like he wanted to escape me.

    Usman: After that quarrel, I didn’t go. I stayed back with her and begged for leave from assignments on the grounds of her condition. Thanks to the rapport I had with my commanding officer, NAF gave me a more stable role in Abuja for two years. 

    Nothing is more important to me than her and her well-being. Perhaps, I’ll look into transitioning to desk roles. They don’t pay as well as field, but the plan is to redirect our savings into my wife’s clothing business and branch out from there.

    How would you rate your Love Life on a scale of 1 to 10?

    Usman: 10

    Hajara: 9

    Check back every Thursday by 9 AM for new Love Life stories here. The stories will also be a part of the Ships newsletter, so sign up here.

    NEXT: Love Life: Our Love Started in Computer Village

  • 13 Brilliant Money-Saving Tips in These Tinubu Times

    13 Brilliant Money-Saving Tips in These Tinubu Times

    If you struggle to save money in Tinubu’s Nigeria, you’re not alone. Prices of everything have doubled since the president delivered on his promise to remove fuel subsidy. However, living in these Tinubu times isn’t an excuse to go haywire on your already limited funds. We’ve compiled some brilliant money-saving tips that’ll take you from “God,abeg” to “God, I’m trusting the process.” 

    Stay inside

    13 Brilliant Money-Saving Tips in These Tinubu Times

    Staying indoors used to be cheaper, but even that is no longer a guarantee these days. However, chances are staying inside will still help you avoid unnecessary billings and impulsive buying. If it costs N10k to go outside, you’ll spend half of that inside. 

    Embrace thrift


    If you’ve ever rolled your eyes at the “Na mumu dey go boutique” mantra, now is the time to fix up. There’s no better money-saving tip right now, especially when it comes to changing your wardrobe. And it’s not just your wardrobe; there are also thrift options for electronics and furniture these days. 

    Track your spending

    It’s not enough to keep tabs on your debit and credit alerts. You should make a conscious effort to note the things you spend money on monthly. This way, you can make projections about your monthly expenses and notice the red flags when things don’t add up.

    Find the juicy data offerings

    13 Brilliant Money-Saving Tips in These Tinubu Times

    There’s been an uptick in remote work since the COVID era, meaning Nigerians now spend more on data. Subscribing isn’t enough: track your daily and monthly data usage. It’s also important to take note of the bonuses and special offers by internet service providers. For example, some providers double data allocation when you subscribe at certain periods.

    Go easy on the ride-hailing services

    It’s convenient to pull up to your location in the comfort of a private car, but that can also do some serious damage to your account. Find a balance that works. Shared rides, staff buses and campus shuttles are also convenient options that won’t cost as much. A Danfo bus here and a keke marwa there. Take every ride as an adventure.

    Find a side hustle

    13 Brilliant Money-Saving Tips in These Tinubu Times

    This isn’t breaking news, but if you’ve not been paying attention, now is the time to sit up. Your 9-5 is not an excuse. You might want to learn a thing or two from our mummies and daddies in the ministries who run their empires whilst serving the government. You can start by selling chin-chin during lunch hours.

    Pack your lunch

    Food ordering apps will tempt you to ditch cooking, but that’s the fastest way to financial destruction in these Tinubu times. One brilliant money-saving tip: pack your lunch from home and use the microwave at work. 

    Learn about finance

    13 Brilliant Money-Saving Tips in These Tinubu Times

    It’s important to know money if you want to save and grow money. Register for financial literacy classes and read books that will help you understand how money moves.

    Find interest-bearing accounts

    Many banking and finance apps offer up to 10% interest on savings. Explore these options; don’t let your money stay dormant in your account. You can cash out your interest on a monthly basis or wait till it accumulates to a juicy figure.

    Invest in inverters

    13 Brilliant Money-Saving Tips in These Tinubu Times

    Electricity supply has improved these days but PHCN isn’t smiling, and fuel seems to be the new gold. Invest in inverters or solar panels as alternative means of power supply.

    Review subscriptions

    13 Brilliant Money-Saving Tips in These Tinubu Times

    Why are you paying for cable TV when you have an active Netflix subscription? It’s not a smart money move. You’ll save more money if you stick with one.

    Have a budget

    13 Brilliant Money-Saving Tips in These Tinubu Times

    It could be daily or monthly. Some bank and finance apps have features that let you set a daily spending limit. This helps you stay disciplined and keep to your budget. It’s among the brilliant money-saving tips you should stick to religiously.

    Drink water

    Because who wants to carry already limited resources to the hospital in these harsh economic times? Also, you’ll get clear skin and won’t have to worry about dealing with hangovers or hefty bills. It’s a win-win, really.

    You’ll have your fill of grilled, peppered or fried meat and many more at Zikoko’s meat festival on November 11. Have you bought your Burning Ram ticket? You can do that real quick here.

  • The Different Parts of Meat You Should Know

    The Different Parts of Meat You Should Know

    One of the activities I anticipate at local food joints is choosing protein. Good ol’ beef hardly interests me; I crave the weird-looking parts that often surprise my taste buds. 

    Standing there, I ask the slightly-irritated amala seller, “What part is that? What about that one? Is that round-about? What about the one that looks plaited?” Occasionally, she’s fascinated by my curiosity; other times, her expression screams, “Uncle, wrap it up.”

    If, like me, you often face a dilemma when confronted with a large pot of assorted meat parts, grab a note. There are lessons to learn.

    Ponmo

    The Different Parts of Meat You Should Know

    Photo: BBC

    People may argue that it is tasteless and lacks nutritional benefits, but ponmo is king. It’s processed cowhide/skin with a soft, chewy texture. Ponmo is served in sauces and pairs well as a side offering with Nigerian swallow. 

    Rib Cut

    Source: Beef

    This is meat found in the rib cage area of a red meat animal. You’ll often find it in upscale restaurants with fancy names like smoked barbecue ribs, honey barbecue ribs, etc.

    [ad]

    Oxtail

    The Different Parts of Meat You Should Know

    Many people get confused with this name, but this part is simply cow tail. It has a distinct flavour that slaps when used for pepper sauces, stew, and pepper soup.

    Cow Foot (Brokoto)

    Source: Abuja Food Delivery Mart

    This portion of cow meat doesn’t come cheap. It can be boiled or fried and is popular among the Igbos as the preferred option for nkwobi. It often requires a lot of cooking time to soften it up.

    Tripe

    The Different Parts of Meat You Should Know

    Source: Niyis

    Also known as shaki, this is animal intestine. It has a rough and spongy texture that often requires a lot of cleaning. Shaki is mostly served in the company of assorted offerings and is a preferred protein option for ofada sauce.

    Round About

    Source: Nairaland

    It’s a cow’s intestine shaped like a roundabout, hence the name. You’ll find it among the assorted offerings that come with amala or ofada sauce. It’s not a regular protein option, so it’s hardly bought as a standalone.

    Liver

    The gist is, your Nigerian fried rice is not complete if you don’t have liver cuts in it. It also comes along with assorted offerings for amala or ofada sauce. It’s best enjoyed fried.

    You’ll have your fill of grilled, peppered or fried meat and many more at Zikoko’s meat festival on November 11. Have you bought your Burning Ram ticket? You can do that real quick here.

    You’ll have your fill of grilled, peppered or fried meat and many more at Zikoko’s meat festival on November 11. Have you bought your Burning Ram ticket? You can do that real quick here.

  • I Had a “Spoilt” Upbringing, by Nigerian Standards

    I Had a “Spoilt” Upbringing, by Nigerian Standards

    This week, a young girl shared a TikTok video of her parents’ reaction to her request for an iPhone 8, striking up a conversation about Nigerian parents and their preferred parenting styles that tend to border on abuse.

    Angel (22) had a different Nigerian upbringing. She talks about experiencing gentle parenting with her mother and grandma, and how it’s made her a self-assured adult.

    This is Angel’s story, as told to Boluwatife 

    Image designed by Freepik

    Corporal punishment is the average Nigerian parent’s default when a child misbehaves. That wasn’t the case for me. And I did misbehave— a lot.

    My mother had me very young, while still schooling in the university. So, I spent most of my formative years living with my grandmother in Abuja. 

    I was a troublesome, extroverted child. So much so that I was already sneaking out to go play by six years old. We had only recently moved to Maraba then. My grandma thought the new environment was unsafe, so she thought it best to keep me at home with my nine-year-old uncle (whom I called “brother”) when she was away. An older uncle was supposed to watch us, but my brother and I would time him. Immediately he started washing plates, we’d run to a fence close to my house and jump over it.

    One day, during our usual running escapade, I suddenly developed cold feet when I climbed the fence. I became scared of jumping down, and when my brother got tired of talking me into jumping, he left. I later jumped after a while, but instead of going to look for him, I decided to play with a neighbour’s son on a nearby farm instead.

    Only, we were playing with lighters, and before you could say jack, I’d burned down the entire corn farm to ashes. Luckily, the mother of the boy I was playing with pleaded with the farm’s owner on our behalf and my grandma never knew. Even if she did, she didn’t believe in spanking.

    I remember when, still at six years old, I created a dance group with about six other girls, and we were practising to show off our moves at a neighbour’s birthday party. We called our dance group “Hottie Pop Girls” and really thought we’d get to Maltina’s dance all competition. 

    On the day of the party, I was excited to get to the venue as soon as possible, but my grandma asked us to wait a while. That didn’t sit right with me, and I angrily threw a stone at our window louvres and broke a couple of them. She didn’t beat or shout at me. Instead, she said, “Well, now you aren’t going to the party.” I had to sit and hear all the festivities. It was painful, but as usual, she explained how actions have consequences, and how my impatience had cost me something I wanted. At that moment, I wished she’d just punish me and let me go to the party, but that wasn’t her way.

    I was nine years old when I got into boarding secondary school, and that’s when I started living with my mum in Kaduna. She was pretty much on the same wavelength as my grandma when it came to discipline: calm, rational and believed in conversation.

    In JSS 2, I got into a fight with a classmate who’d taken a letter from my bag to read without my permission. The fight led to me getting suspended from the hostel for two weeks because even though the other person had started it, she falsely accused me of ripping out her hair. When school authorities called my mum to inform her, she immediately defended me. She asked if a proper investigation had been carried out, knowing I wouldn’t just pick a fight for the sake of it. The school insisted, so she came to pick me up. 

    That day was our inter-house sports day, so she took me to the stadium and bought me snacks and a yoghurt. She allowed me to explain what happened and never once questioned me. She even bought food for my classmates at the stadium too, including the girl who’d falsely accused me. The school later did an investigation and apologised to me, but my mum never doubted me for a second. She taught me always to speak my truth, regardless of who believed me or not.

    It’s not like I was a saint. I got into trouble with neighbours too, but when they came to report me, she’d defend me in their presence but then show me the error of my ways when we were alone. With her, I never had to hide anything. She made sure I could tell her even the most uncomfortable things, like when I started getting attention from boys. She never used whatever I said or did against me, and we’d always just talk and talk.

    There was a time I almost burned the house down. I returned from school extremely tired and hungry, so I started cooking. I was watching TV at the same time and somehow fell asleep. By the time my mum returned home, I was still sleeping, but the kitchen was on fire, and smoke was seeping into the sitting room. She put off the fire, woke me up and took me outside. I was expecting her to shout or ask why I was so careless, but she hugged me and told me not to try to cook when I was tired. It was like, “Don’t put yourself in this kind of danger. Just buy bread when you’re tired instead. Collect it on credit if you don’t have money, and I’ll pay.” That was the kind of relationship we had.

    I sat for WAEC in 2015 and passed all my subjects except Maths. Even on the exam day, I knew I’d done rubbish. So, when I came out of the hall, I put a call through to her and said I’d messed up. She encouraged me to think positively and wait for the results.

    I was on holiday with my grandma when the results came out. As expected, I failed, and I was devastated. My grandma had the funniest reaction. She was like, “Why are you crying because of only one fail? Come and eat.” 


    Psstt! Come and eat your fill at our meat festival happening on November 11: Burning Ram. We’re celebrating the Nigerian culture of meat and grill, and we’re going all out. Whether meat is your thing or not, there’s something for you at Burning Ram.

    Click HERE to buy a ticket.


    My mum saw how bad I felt and just encouraged me to focus on the GCE alternative. She got me a math tutor, and I passed— end of story.

    I had a “spoilt” upbringing by Nigerian standards, seeing as I was never spoken to harshly or punished unnecessarily, but it’s made me a very self-assured adult. Even when I got into uni and would get mocked for being so skinny, I’d remember how loved I was at home, and soon the comments stopped getting to me. It was also when I got older that I realised not everyone had the privilege of growing up in a place where they were actually talked and listened to. 

    I had this roommate in my first year in uni who came from an extremely strict background. It was basically taboo for her to talk to boys. When she experienced freedom in school, she started running after every Tom, Dick and Harry. It was like she was set free and didn’t know how to handle herself. It was strange to me because I was trusted with freedom from a young age and didn’t think it was anything special. It made me grateful for my background.

    I grew up with so much assurance, and it’s such that even the people I call friends now show me the same type of assurance. It’s a continuous cycle. That’s definitely what I want to pass across to my children, regardless of the Nigerian status quo.


    NEXT READ: I Was Happier When I Stopped Sending My Parents Money

    [ad][/ad]

  • The Real Way African Mums Behave at Public Outings

    The Real Way African Mums Behave at Public Outings

    Some Instagram girlies recently cosplayed as African mums, and people aren’t having it. They might draw unwanted attention to you or keep you waiting longer than necessary, but African mums keep their dignity intact when they are outside.

    If like me, you’ve taken the time to observe your African mum, then you might relate with these points.

    They serve fire looks

    One thing African mums will do is make heads turn, so no mismatched colours or scruffy outfits. Makeup is always on fleek, and their burglary-style shades will rival Tems’.

    Bombastic side-eye does the talking

    I’ve always argued that the safest place to try your African mum is when you’re out of the house. They hardly lose their composure. Instead, the bombastic side-eye does all the talking. One look from her will stop you from opening that bottle of alcoholic wine on the table.

    They get 100% in table manners

    I can’t remember the number of times I’ve passed my big, tough meat to my mum at parties, because I’m too embarrassed to dig into it properly. The meat always returns in finely chopped bits, and she does it so effortlessly. This is to tell you how proper African mums can get when it comes to handling food in public.

    Show up with their “twin”

    The twin is either their best friend, favourite daughter or younger sibling. And God save you if you don’t extend the same bit of courtesy and warmness to this plus-one.

    [ad]

    Smooth operators with the food

    They might feel the need to return home with jollof or Chivita packs, but they do it with class. An African mum either liaises with the organiser or waiters. If this fails, you’d hardly notice that plate-to-purse or table-to-bag transition because they’re smooth with it.

    They don’t greet everybody

    African mums might greet and stop to chat with everyone on their street, but surely, not at parties. Once in, they head straight to their allocated spot and wait for the celebrant to locate them. If they go looking for the celebrant, it’s to hand over an enveloped cash gift or announce their exit.

    Dance with panache

    They must hit the dance floor because how else will they put their mint ₦100 notes to good use? But one thing they’ll do on that dance floor is maintain class even while hitting the lowest of lows with their towering headgear.  

    They’re after fire photos

    They might want the picture emboldened or capturing odd details, but no African mum is searching for the mango tree and yellow marigold plants to strike a pose. BFR. 

    You’ll have your fill of grilled, peppered or fried meat and many more at Zikoko’s meat festival on November 11. Have you bought your Burning Ram ticket? You can do that real quick here.

  • Archivi.ng: The Website Scanning 18k+ Newspapers to Digitise 50 Years of Nigerian History

    Archivi.ng: The Website Scanning 18k+ Newspapers to Digitise 50 Years of Nigerian History

    In 2016, I was in my final year at university. For my project, I had to do a content analysis of the Nigerian media coverage of Boko Haram insurgency for the 12 calendar months of the year under review. It was impossible to access old newspaper publications online, so I had to comb Ibadan for libraries that kept old newspapers. It was a daunting experience, mentally, physically and financially.

    Source: Reuters

    Seven years later, undergraduate students like me, researchers, journalists and anyone interested in our history need only carry out a simple search on Archivi.ng, a website that has successfully scanned 50 years of Nigerian newspapers in the first phase of its newspaper digitisation project. 

    Here’s all you should know about the team and the important work they’re doing.

    What is Archivi.ng?

    It’s a project committed to “digitising old Nigerian newspapers and making them accessible to everyone online.” The Archivi.ng team’s first phase goal is to upload 18,627 different newspapers and 360k pages from January 1960 to December 2010.

    How did it start?

    In August 2019, Fu’ad Lawal, Archiving CEO, asked a question on his Twitter page: “Who’s going to get all the Final Year research papers rotting in the Faculty storages across tertiary schools in Nigeria, and bring them online?”

    This need to do something with loads of research work Nigerian students churn out yearly soon metamorphosed into a different direction.

    On November 10, 2019, his attention was drawn to a throwback video shared on Twitter which captured the court proceedings that led to the execution of Ken Saro-Wiwa, Saturday Dobee, Nordu Eawo and other members of the Ogoni 9.

    Fu’ad expressed sadness at the fact that Nigerian knowledge seekers or researchers would only obtain the full context about the historical incident from the archives of an international publication like the New York Times.

    “My own sadness is that if you want to read about this case, you’ll have to go to the New York Times.”

    Five days later, he returned with a post stressing the need for old Nigerian newspapers to be archived. “Our old newspapers need to be archived, for the culture. Contextual reporting becomes easier when you can just google 1999, and Punch/Guardian pops.”

    [ad]

    Fu’ad’s tweets started to receive a cocktail of reception from followers, friends and acquaintances who shared similar sentiments. Subsequently, he drew up a concept note with a clear goal to retrieve and digitise newspapers from January 1, 1960, to December 31, 2010 — a total of 18,627 days. The months that followed would see Lawal, his friends and other volunteers sourcing newspapers. In less than five weeks, they’d sourced 95% of the newspapers needed for the period of focus.

    But sourcing the papers wasn’t enough; they also needed a digital home where the papers could be housed and easily accessed. And this birthed Archiv.ng.

    How does the website work?

    The search box on Archivi.ng

    If you enter specific keywords, names and dates in the homepage’s search box, it’ll return a string of scanned newspaper pages. Each scanned newspaper page comes with an AI-generated summary.

    For example, when you enter the date below, it returns with the newspaper images.

    At the moment, Archivi.ng only accounts for PM News reports from January 1, 1960, to December 31, 2010 which is approximately 50,000 pages. Publications like The Punch (1971), Tribune (1949) and Vanguard (1983) are yet to be scanned and uploaded to the archive. However, it’s all part of the goals in the first phase of the project.

    Is the website free to use?

    The website has been free for visitors since it launched on September 30. However, there’s an option to donate and support the project. The team has raised over $37,000 in donations but still needs at least $100,000 in funding to complete the first phase of the project.

    Burning Ram tickets are now available. Get your personal meat and many more at Zikoko’s meat festival coming up on November 11th. Tickets are available here.

  • Trenches Inspired Suya Recipes You Should Try 

    Trenches Inspired Suya Recipes You Should Try 

    They might carry fancy names like suya melt, designer noodles and agege burger these days, but these suya recipes are rooted in the trenches.

    Designer noodles

    Source: Dobby’s Signature

    As an undergrad student, noodles and eggs didn’t quite hit the spot for me, and I couldn’t afford to go all out and buy turkey or chicken as my protein option, but with as little as ₦200 suya, my noodle game took a straight zero to 100 spin. Find a full recipe here.

    Agege bread suya

    Source: Myactivekitchen

    I remember visiting a friend once, and he went on and on about giving me a burger treat. Tell me why this brother showed up with agege bread? Anyway, he told me not to judge but to take a bite first. I did, and it was the best thing that entered my mouth that month. He’d sandwiched the bread with a rich serving of beef suya, yaji and mayo. Find a recipe here.

    [ad]

    Suya rice

    Source: AnitaOkereke

    I remember an older cousin making this when I was younger on days when we were home alone and couldn’t pull enough money for Mr Biggs. It was an elevated version of concoction rice, only with a generous serving of suya. These days, you’ll find bougie Lagos restaurants calling it “Designer Jollof” and charging through the roof. Find a full recipe here.

    Suya Shawarma

    Source: Sisi Jemimah

    Suya is a cheaper filling compared to chicken franks or chicken breast. But the yaji spice has a way of elevating the taste of shawarma. Find a full recipe here

    Suya sauce

    Source: Cookpad

    Another trenches-inspired recipe, this sauce bangs when you don’t have enough money to cook a proper pot of stew with chunks of beef, chicken or turkey. A quick linkup with the maisuya on your street, and with ₦500 suya, pepper mix and seasoning, you’ll have yourself a tasty sauce for white rice or pasta. Find a full recipe here

    Garri and suya

    Source: Scrollforth

    The good ol’ unceremonious way of enjoying suya. You don’t need a recipe for this, just make sure you use mortuary-standard water for the garri. I may have added yaji spice to my garri for extra tinge, but that’s just the Yoruba in me. 

    Suya fried rice

    Source: AromaArena

    The trenches version of fried rice complements the absence of liver and shrimps with soulfully spiced chicken or beef suya. I fell in love with this recipe after ordering from a popular IG vendor, and I’ve never gone back. Find a full recipe here

    You’ll have your fill of grilled, peppered or fried meat and many more at Zikoko’s meat festival on November 11. Have you bought your Burning Ram ticket? You can do that real quick here.

  • 7 Nigerians Share Their Bedbug Infestation Horror Stories

    7 Nigerians Share Their Bedbug Infestation Horror Stories

    I had a good laugh over the bedbug infestation in Paris and how Nigerians battle cockroaches, on X some days ago, before I came across this tweet bemoaning a home infestation that’s lasted all too long.

    Source: Getty

    The post would lead me on a quest to find individuals with similar experiences. I got real-life stories punctuated by heartbreak and spiritual warfare, all engineered by bedbug infestations. 

    Bolanle*

    Bedbugs showed me pepper. 

    I suddenly started seeing them in my house two years ago, and I suspect that a friend brought them. I started itching all over, leaving tiny bumps on my skin. Initially, I thought it was mosquitoes. So I used regular insecticide. But every morning, I woke up itchy, so I got really worried. I decided to search on the internet and found out about bedbugs.

    What did I not use? I even called a fumigation company one midnight when I couldn’t sleep. By that time, I was already sharing my apartment with the bugs. They were crawling freely everywhere. Fumigation didn’t work, so I resorted to spreading my clothes under the sun. 

    I got spiritual and started praying seriously about it because I’d be walking outside and just see bedbugs crawling out of my clothes. It was one of my prayer points on the Next Level Prayer (NLP) platform. Then one day, I noticed I hadn’t felt itchy in days, and I hadn’t seen the bedbugs in a while. That was how I won the battle against them.

    Anthony*

    It all started when I got a bed frame as a gift. I started seeing blood spots on the bed and thought it was mosquitoes until I saw a bedbug and used Google Images to search what it was. That was how I knew I had entered wahala.

    I bought different things to use. None worked. Eventually, I moved to a new place, but the bugs moved with me. I’m now trying to gather money to change my mattress, bed frame and chairs. I hardly entertain visitors, and if someone informs me they’re coming, I use one of the bug sprays on my chairs to temporarily keep them away. Imagine a babe coming to spend the night, and she sees bedbug on your bed. Mess up! 

    It has also really affected my sleep. I’m mostly up in the middle of the night looking to find bedbugs on the bed. It’s gotten so bad that I can identify them by smell.

    Derrick*

    When I was staying with my aunt, her friend’s house got flooded, so they decided to move their living room furniture to an extra room at my aunt’s place for some time. The room had good ventilation, and anytime the house was hot, I’d go there to chill. 

    Two weeks after the furniture was moved there, I noticed whenever I slept in that room, some things were biting me. I initially thought it was a skin reaction, but we soon found out it was bedbugs. We decided to move the furniture out, but by then, the bugs had already spread. We tried various things to get rid of them that didn’t work. Pineapple peels, sniper, kerosene, roadside pesticides… none worked. We eventually fumigated the house, but even that didn’t take care of them. At one point, we’d always leave the house because of the constant fumigation. 

    When I moved back home, my mum didn’t allow my belongings into our house until I’d sun dried them for hours and disinfected them. 

     [ad]

    Ada*

    My junior sister came back home from Nigerian Navy Secondary School, Ojo, during one of her holidays, and we took her box to one of the rooms in the house. For whatever reason, we didn’t open the box until a few months later, when my brother found bedbugs breeding at the bottom. At the time, he didn’t know what they were, so he didn’t tell anyone. We’d come to realise later that he saw them and “took care of them”. 

    A few days after he opened the box, we noticed these random insects in the house. We assumed they were cockroaches or something, so we used insecticide on them. But our problems were only beginning. They became so much and came with a distinct smell that’s worse than a dead rat. This went on for about five months until my dad’s friend heard about it and explained that they were absolutely horrible. He advised we sun dry our mattresses. Luckily, it wasn’t the rainy season, so every afternoon, we’d take the foams out of the house and bring them in later in the evening. It didn’t work, so we resorted to asking everybody we could for help. 

    They told us to iron everything we could, and we started doing that. Once there was light, instead of struggling to iron our clothes, we were ironing the rug or foams. Again, this solution didn’t work.

    Finally, someone said the bedbugs were not in the foam but in the wood, and the only solution was to take it out and fumigate the entire house. We all went out one Sunday, and when we came back, our house was void of wooden items. My parents brought in plastic chairs, and our beds were placed on the bare floor. We got round to fumigating and repainting because the walls were filled with bedbug stains. 

    This worked for a while. But then, sometimes, we’d go out and see the bugs on our clothes or somewhere else.  They followed us everywhere for another three years.

    READ ALSO: What A Man’s Reaction To A Flying Cockroach Says About Him In Bed

    Andrew*

    I remember inviting my crush to my hostel, back when I was in 200 level. I’d just gotten my off-campus apartment and was happy to finally have my privacy, without worrying about prying roommates. At the time, I couldn’t afford the mattress I wanted, so I got this 20-inch mattress from a friend who had just graduated. 

    About two days after I set up my room, my crush visited, and we were both on the bed catching up. I noticed a dark spot on my white bedspread and just as I tried it get it off, I felt a warm burst of liquid on my finger. I looked and saw that it was a bedbug. It threw me off, but I didn’t want my crush to notice, so I threw a pillow on the spot. Unfortunately, another had crawled up her thigh, but she was quick enough to kill it. The smell was nauseating. 

    Luckily, they stayed at bay for the rest of her visit, but that was the last time she visited me. I didn’t entertain any other female guests until I saved enough to buy a new mattress. 

    Gbemi*

    I stay with my granny, and we’ve dealt with bedbugs for as long as I can remember. My granny is convinced they’re spiritual, and it’s why she has resorted to prayers. According to her, the first time she noticed them was about six years ago when she returned from Abeokuta with the kids of some distant relatives. She said she suspected their untidy Ghana-must-go bags but didn’t think much of it at the time. Weeks after the kids arrived in the house, she started noticing a foul stench from the room they slept and complained about how untidy they were. When she saw the bags with their clothes again, she got upset and gave them money to buy new travelling bags. But the deed was already done as the bugs had found a way to infiltrate the house. She sent them packing after a few months. 

    Since I’ve been staying with her, we’ve tried so many pesticides and insecticides, but the bugs are terribly stubborn and have just refused to go. They’re everywhere. The chairs in the living room, all the mattresses in the house and even in the wardrobes. We’ve fumigated the house at least four times in the last two years, but they keep coming back. We’ve changed mattresses and furniture, but sometimes, we also find them in holes inside our walls. 

    I doubted my granny at first, but I’m beginning to think the infestation is spiritual. After all, the bugs are blood.

    John*

    I’ve not dealt with bedbug infestation, but I once had an embarrassing encounter with a bedbug. I boarded a public bus on my way to work that morning. It was a rickety danfo that should’ve been out of service. The seats were tattered, and this annoying smell enveloped the bus. 

    Anyway, I got to the office safely, and out of the blue, this female colleague screamed after seeing an insect on my shirt. One of my guys reached for it and found out it was a bedbug. He made a funny comment about the state of my house if bugs are following me to the office, and the joke didn’t sit well with me. Everyone laughed it off, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that they shared similar thoughts.

    Burning Ram tickets are now available. Get your personal meat and many more at Zikoko’s meat festival coming up on November 11th. Tickets are available here.

  • A Case for Ending 30+ Jokes

    A Case for Ending 30+ Jokes

    To be honest, the 30+ jokes write themselves. You don’t have to try too hard to find something joke-worthy about 30+ people. I mean, they sleep at 8 p.m. and think the abbreviation “IMO” means “Imo State”.

    Tempting as it is to constantly make 30+ jokes, I think it’s enough. And you might agree with my reasons too.

    We’ll soon be 30+ too

    By we, I mean the Gen Z. We can’t even claim to be young anymore. Think about it, we’ll be inductees into the 30+ group in four or so years. It hurts just to think about it.

    The jokes are starting to give reality

    We laugh about 30+ folks and their back pains all the time, but guess who has started feeling pains in their backs, too? You and I.

    We don’t have money

    We always complain about how going “outside” leads to the dreaded “savings or current?” question. But we’re bantering people who’ve hacked sleeping at home until it’s absolutely necessary — and saving money while at it. Make it make sense, please.

    They seem to have their shit together

    If anything, we should be begging them to give us tips to navigate this adulting thing. It’s tough out here.

    It’s time to move to 40+ jokes

    Gen Zs aren’t the only ones getting older. Today’s 30+ will be tomorrow’s 40+. Don’t let them think they’re off the hook.

    Or even 60+

    If you think about it, it’s their agemates in power that are making this country difficult for us.

    We’re all tired

    We say 30+ people are always tired, but that’s swiftly catching up with my Gen Z babes. We’re tired of everything: Nigeria, capitalism, paying bills and carrying the whole social media. At this point, throw everything away.


    We’re celebrating the Nigerian culture of meat and grill with Burning Ram. Have you gotten a ticket yet?

    GET A TICKET HERE

    NEXT READ: What It Means to Be 30+, From the POV of New Inductees

    [ad][/ad]

  • Primeboy: Everything We Know About Mohbad’s Friend Who’s Been Declared Wanted

    Primeboy: Everything We Know About Mohbad’s Friend Who’s Been Declared Wanted

    The Nigerian Police recently declared singer Primeboy wanted amid investigations into the death of late singer, Mohbad. The announcement has since stirred mixed reactions about the individual alleged to have been a close friend of the deceased. 

    Here’s all we know about Primeboy. 

    Who is Primeboy?

    Primeboy: Everything We Know About Mohbad’s Friend Who’s Been Declared Wanted

    Source: Instagram/@officialprimeboy

    According to information gleaned from his official Instagram page, Owodunni Ibrahim AKA Primeboy is a recording artist. 

    He has a number of singles to his credit including Balance, a collaboration with Seyi Vibez. Primeboy is also a friend of deceased singer, Mohbad, as pictures and videos that have circulated on social media over the last few days show.

    Primeboy: Everything We Know About Mohbad’s Friend Who’s Been Declared Wanted

    Two viral video mashups feature throwback-to-recent pictures of the two singers.

    Why is he trending?

    On Wednesday, October 4, SP Benjamin Hundeyin in an announcement titled: “Mohbad: Lagos State Police Declares Primeboy” announced a ₦1 million reward for anyone with useful information that can lead to Primeboy’s arrest.

    The police revealed that Primeboy had refused to honour an invitation to answer questions to aid the investigation into circumstances surrounding Mohbad’s demise.

    “Following his failure to honour a police invitation successfully sent to him since the commencement of investigation into the circumstances leading to the death of Mr Ilerioluwa Aloba aka Mohbad, the Lagos State Police Command hereby declares wanted Owodunni Ibrahim aka Primeboy.”

     [ad]

    Primeboy maintains innocence 

    On Thursday, September 14, prior to being declared wanted, Primeboy, released videos on his official Instagram, stressing his innocence in the circumstances that led to his friend’s demise.

    According to Primeboy, he had no issue with Mohbad, and they were together on Sunday, September 10, at the singer’s Ikorodu gig.

    “I keep seeing a lot of rumours out there, that something happened on Sunday, maybe that led to the death of Mohbad. Nothing happened on Sunday. Nothing happened between me and my friend, we were fine from the Island.”

    Primeboy, however, claimed that Mohbad was highly intoxicated at the Ikorodu gig and became grumpy after his performance. 

    “So he sat down in his car after we came down from the stage. His wife was sitting in our middle, so I do not know anything that happened. He was just grumpy. He wanted to get out of the car, and I was like, ‘Do not get down. Wait, let me go and clear the road’.”

    Sharing the videos, he wrote:

    “Please, I know nothing about it. I didn’t even touch MOH. He hit me. I didn’t even do anything, God knows. His wife was there also, and the Prado man and security. Please, do not say what you don’t know. Make your investigation. I did not have any issues with Moh. He called me all the time. I don’t stay with them. Please and please, I know nothing.”

    Primeboy’s last post on Instagram was shared on Tuesday, September 26, and there’s been no update from him since then.

    Prime detained by police

    On Thursday, September 5, SP Hundeyin announced on Twitter that the singer turned himself in and has been taken into custody for interrogation. 

    This is a developing story. 

    We’ll be burning ram, chicken, goat, you name the protein. If this sounds interesting to you already, you’ll find it all at Zikoko’s Burning Ram on November 11th. All you have to do is get your tickets here.

  • The Interesting Ways Nigerians Think About Money

    The Interesting Ways Nigerians Think About Money

    Conversations about money are typically difficult, but we must have them. The country’s current economic situation and our natural love for cash and credit alerts make them necessary.

    So when @nihiinn, a user on X, asked the TL what money opinion is liable to get people in trouble, we scoured the app to find some of the weirdest entries.

    This is weird.. because are we debating this?

    https://twitter.com/EvonneJada/status/1709662855354896890?t=8mgLN8z7YhmTqcfXSRvMNA&s=19

    Let us get rich and see first

    Elumelu, we’re watching you?

    Don’t worry, you’ll like “rainy days”

    Life is warfare to some people

    Agabado chose both and put them on extra hard

    Wait, is crime truly the ingredient?

    So nothing for free thinkers? God, plis

    https://twitter.com/Uncle_BuGzY/status/1709794023165088183?t=x33Nl6xGTMtEKi1bU5sWYQ&s=19

    Tell that to Kidd Waya

    https://twitter.com/To_Ris_/status/1709691050598470007?t=g5LF7mHm1NWuw8FIn67_4w&s=19

    This is a sign you should buy that iPhone 15

    Delulu or the solulu?

    LMAOO

    I thought “family over everything”

    History lesson, pleasee

    https://twitter.com/officialfaifa/status/1709676656426627353?t=mpLvboT1YtZg-fvXU2D8zw&s=19

    Do we have kind people left in this world?

    Nawa o

    I don’t think this is still about money

    Not sure I get this, but ponder on it

    Lmao. Drake cries in Rihanna

    Hiiii, our Burning Ram Meat Festival will be live on November 11th. Get your ticket asap!

  • I Knew Cleaning Wasn’t My Last Stop in Life

    I Knew Cleaning Wasn’t My Last Stop in Life

    Femi Dapson recently went viral on X for this post

    He shared a throwback video from when he was a cleaner in 2017, which he’d made as evidence of his strong belief that he’d make it one day. It has since amassed over two million views.

    It’s 2023, and he did make it. He shares his inspiring journey with Zikoko.

    As told to Boluwatife

    Credit: Nouvelle Films

    I grew up poor.

    We were so poor my family rented uncompleted buildings because we couldn’t afford anything else. It was that bad. 

    I was born in Agege, but we moved to Idowu Egba, a neighbourhood in Igando, when I was about four years old. The uncompleted building we lived in had no windows or roof, so we used empty rice sacks to cover the ceiling and window openings. The floor was uncemented, so we put mats over the red sand.

    Despite the sorry situation we were in, I always knew it wasn’t the life I was made for. My dad was a driver, and my mum sold food. I saw them constantly struggling and would always tell myself that I’d never end up like them. 

    And I backed this mindset with actions.

    I made a deliberate effort not to make friends on my street. We were all poor there, so what was I supposed to gain from an equally poor person?

    I have a way with people, and I’d always target rich kids. I wanted to be like them. So, I’d wake up every morning, iron and wear the only shirt I had, and walk the 15-minute distance to Diamond Estate to meet with the friends I’d made from church or while helping my mum sell food in schools. 

    My rich friends liked my vibes. I showed and told them things and slang they’d never heard before. In return, I learned how they lived, ate their food and always stood out when I returned home. The only person I got close to in my neighbourhood was the son of a prominent general, and it was because I did everything in my power to make sure we became friends.

    Growing up poor meant I also had to start hustling early. I did many menial jobs while moving from one secondary school to the other due to challenges with paying the fees. You want to clear the grass in your compound? I’m there. You need someone to paint your house? I’ll most likely do rubbish, but just pay me ₦2k. 

    I started my hustle proper after I dropped out of school in SS one when my parents could no longer pay my fees. There’s almost nothing I didn’t do to survive —from barman, to primary school teacher, to factory worker. One thing I made sure to do each time was to put in 110% in every job. 

    In 2014, we moved to yet another uncompleted building in Sango, and I got a job cleaning at a popular church’s headquarters in Ota. I got paid between ₦11k – 15k monthly to sweep portions of the church premises, chapels, and sometimes, wash cars. I did that for about two years.

    One principle guides my life: “If you can read and write, you can teach yourself anything.” In 2016, while still cleaning, I started volunteering to help input evangelism converts’ data into a computer. I’d taught myself computer basics with a cousin’s computer when I was in JSS one, so while other volunteers would use all day to input the data of 100 people, I’d do it in 30 minutes. 

    The General Overseer’s secretary noticed and took a liking to me, and I unofficially became the assistant secretary to the G.O. Because I didn’t pass through the normal employment process, I didn’t get a raise. But it didn’t stop me from putting in my all. I helped the department make financial approval processes almost paperless before I left after six months. My reason? I was scared they’d just wake up one day and tell everyone without the right qualifications to go.

    In 2017, I moved in with a cousin in Ikeja and got a cleaning job at an event centre. It paid between ₦18k – ₦21k/monthly, but damn, the workload wasn’t beans. After parties ended around 10 p.m., the whole place would be a mess, and I’d clean and clean. 

    But I understood the power of positive confessions. I’d always tell my guys and say to myself that I’d be great; I was born to be great. I’d watch celebrities come to parties where I worked and even pour soap to wash their hands after they used the restroom so they’d give me ₦200 tips. That was the life I wanted. To spray money freely at parties and be greeted, “Good evening, sir”, when I entered toilets, too.

    I made this video in 2017 at a low point. I was down with Typhoid and had been in and out of the hospital for two weeks, but I left and returned to work while still sick because I was scared I’d be sacked for staying away that long.

    On that day, I was weak and frustrated. I had just finished cleaning the hall and was washing the toilets. At a point, I stopped and started self-affirming that this was just a temporary phase and I’d look back at the memory one day. I decided to document that moment, so I took my phone and recorded myself. If not for the fact that my physical look has improved since then, people would say I took the video yesterday, and I’m just lying. The confidence with which I spoke was crazy.

    A large part of my confidence stemmed from the fact that I know God loves me — that’s even what my name, Oluwafemi Ifeoluwa, means. I also had a habit of sacrificially giving out the little money I had at the time — I still give a lot. I believe that the more you give, the more you receive, and I know God is too faithful to fail.

    Knowing God saw my heart, I’d drop my bracelet or anything on me in faith when I didn’t have money. I even gave my toothbrush as an offering once. It wasn’t useful to anyone, but God knew that was all I had.

    So, I made that video with complete confidence and kept it as evidence so that when I made my money, no one would come and say I did fraud.

    And God did come through for me. 

    I gathered the little money I had and sat for O’Levels in 2018. Then a year later, I got an opportunity to work as a junior auditor in an auditing firm for ₦30k/month. How I got the job was even funny. When I arrived at the interview, I met guys with degrees speaking big English, but when it got to my turn and I showed the partners how I helped make that church in Ota go paperless, their minds were blown. 

    I had to leave the job a couple of months later because I had stayed with my cousin for too long, and it was starting to become uncomfortable for him. My next stop was Egbeda, where I moved in with a photographer friend, Perliks. We started working together, and I helped him rebrand and manage his business. He was such an amazing photographer, and I made sure he saw it, too. Many of the projects we worked on together went viral.

    It wasn’t just Perliks and I in Egbeda; some other friends lived with us. One of them was an artist, and that same year, he got funding for a music video. Perliks had some directing knowledge because he had been on a similar set before, so he said he could shoot it, and I’d produce. I didn’t know anything about production, but I read up about it and said I could do it.

    The first day of that production was a disaster because rain destroyed the set, but we pushed through and made the video. It cost ₦800k to shoot, and we even ran at a loss because of the rain. Another artist manager saw it, loved it, and hired us to shoot a video for one of the artists she managed. We went on to shoot three videos for three of her artists. We didn’t make any money from it — we were just trying to give our all.

    Around the same time, I pitched a social media influencer and told her I’d like to manage her, and she agreed. While doing that, I met someone who organised monthly parties for a Whiskey brand. He asked me to come on as his partner to blow the brand in Lagos. We threw the littest parties, and it brought cool money. Money cool enough to buy my first car; a Toyota Avalon which cost ₦1.6m. 

    [ad][/ad]

    In 2020, a media production company signed Perliks and me as director and producer, respectively. It’s still crazy how these professionals were absolutely loving what I did with music videos, and I was just a random boy from Egbeda.

    When my contract expired the following year, I left and created my own company — Nouvelle Films — and I’ve had the privilege of working on amazing jobs. That’s what I do till date: production and the parties. 

    I believe everything I’ve gone through in life was specially designed to allow me to get to where I am right now. I never look down on people because someone selling Gala on the streets could be at a level you’d never imagined tomorrow. 

    Now, some people message me to say we grew up together; they may never have imagined I’d be where I am today. I mean, if someone had told me four years ago that I’d be driving a Mercedes Benz today, I may not have believed it. 

    Some advice I’d give anyone is to hold on to positive thoughts, hold God and believe in yourself. If you don’t first see IT, no one will see IT with you.


    Tickets are now available for the biggest meat festival in Nigeria. We’re celebrating the Nigerian culture of meat and grill simply for your enjoyment. GET A TICKET NOW.


    NEXT READ: I’ve Made Three Career Changes, but I’m Still Unsure About My Future

  • Love Life: Our Love Started in Computer Village

    Love Life: Our Love Started in Computer Village

    Love Life is a Zikoko weekly series about love, relationships, situationships, entanglements and everything in between.

    Tell us how you first met

    Ife: It was an even more chaotic than normal day at Computer Village in January. 

    I was there to get my laptop fixed on a Saturday when I heard the news that the deadline for the use of old naira notes had come. The market was in utter chaos that day, and I couldn’t pay for the laptop they’d finished fixing. I was basically stranded, looking for a free banking hall or ATM so I could take the laptop and go home — I also needed to raise my cab fare as all my bank apps were also down. 

    As I passed by a crowded electronics stall, pitying myself and making calls, I saw this guy looking frantic, trying to catch a thief who had just grabbed his phone.

    Bash: It was a crazy moment. 

    I was browsing through some accessories, and out of nowhere, this pickpocket tried to grab my phone. Luckily, Ife saw what happened and shouted, which caught the attention of everyone around. The thief panicked and dropped my phone, and Ife helped me pick it up.

    Ife: I was impressed by Bash’s gratitude and the way he handled the situation. He couldn’t stop thanking me, and I couldn’t stop teasing him about how he almost lost his phone at the worst time possible. We exchanged numbers, and he insisted on taking me for a drink to thank me for helping him. 

    Ordinarily, I would’ve said no because why am I talking to a stranger in Computer Village, but I’d not yet figured out a plan to get home, and he didn’t seem at all panicked by the lack of access to funds. 

    Turns out, he was a banker and had lots of new notes.

    Bash: She looked concerned, and I couldn’t just let her walk away without showing my appreciation. So I asked what was wrong. She hesitantly explained the situation with her laptop. 

    We went to a nearby restaurant and planned out what to do. It was funny because she kept assuring me she wasn’t a scammer, but that had the opposite effect on me. I knew she wasn’t a fraudster, but the fact that she kept saying it only made me start second-guessing my intuition. 

    Anyway, we sorted out the laptop, talked a bit more, and I helped her get home. It was in our shared cab that we realised we had a lot in common — tech, music, and even our favourite local foods.

    So, your shared interests brought you closer?

    Ife: Yes, definitely. But it wasn’t just the interests. Our conversation flowed naturally.

    Bash: Whenever she smiled, I was just smiling back. She was witty and had a great sense of humour all the way home. That’s hard to find in women these days. It was hard not to be drawn to her.

    Ife: We were out for dinner some weeks after, and he reached out to hold my hand. It was such a simple gesture, but it felt right. I remember feeling a rush of emotions.

    Bash: I’d been trying to find the right moment to tell her how I felt, and when she didn’t pull her hand away, it gave me the courage to express my feelings.

    Ife: I was a bit surprised when he told me he liked me but in a good way. I’d been feeling the same way, but I was nervous about admitting it. When he confessed, it felt like a weight had been lifted, and I told him that I felt the same.

    Bash: It was a relief, and we both had these big smiles on our faces. From that moment on, we knew we were more than just friends.

    If you want to share your own Love Life story, fill out this form.

    What challenges have you faced in your relationship so far?

    Ife: One of the biggest at the time we started dating in February was our cultural differences. I’m Yoruba, and Bash is from the northern part of Nigeria, which strangely led to some misunderstandings within our families in this year 2023.

    Bash: It was all subtle. We both have very traditional parents, and the events surrounding the last national elections didn’t help. But we worked through it together and made an effort to understand and respect each other’s backgrounds. 

    Ife: Then, we had to do long-distance. Bashir got a job in Abuja towards the end of April, and I stayed in Lagos. So far, we’ve had to navigate the distance, trust issues, and the occasional jealousy.

    Bash: We’ve made it a point to visit each other every other month, but when we’re apart, we plan fun activities together, like watching the same movies or reading the same books to stay connected.

    What was your first major fight about?

    Ife: Our first major fight happened because we originally planned to move to Abuja together. I work remotely, so it was convenient, but I’d never been to Abuja nor did I know anyone there.

    Bash: It was a particularly stressful time. We had to find a new place to live, I was starting a new job, Ife was trying to adjust to a different city, and our relationship was still fresh. The pressure got to us.

    Ife: Well, one evening, we were discussing our finances, and it got heated. We had different ideas about how to budget for the move, and we couldn’t agree on how to prioritise our spending.

    Bash: I wanted to save more aggressively to ensure we had a financial cushion, which meant finding a cheaper apartment in a less central part of FCT. Ife was more focused on enjoying the process and spending on things that would make our new home comfortable right away. 

    I also didn’t have the luxury of time because I had to report to the new workplace within a month.

    [ad]

    How did the fight play out?

    Ife: It started with a disagreement, but then it escalated into a full-blown argument. We both said things we didn’t mean, and it felt like we were drifting apart.

    Bash: It was frustrating because we’d never fought like that before. We were just two months in, but we were usually so good at resolving issues together. This time, we couldn’t find common ground. 

    I eventually walked out. Then later, we texted each other, apologising for the harsh words.

    Ife: When I got home and thought about everything that happened, I realised I didn’t want to move with him any longer. 

    I mean, he got the job. He was the one who needed to move. Why was I forcing myself to join him when I’d made no such prior plans to do so for myself? Why was I so eager to tag along when we’re two separate individuals? 

    It took a while to convince him that I wasn’t changing my mind because I was angry.

    Bash: We had to compromise, and I ended up relocating alone. We’ve become better at listening to each other and finding compromises that work for both of us.

    How long do you plan to keep the long-distance relationship up then?

    Ife: For as long as is reasonably natural and until we’re ready to make that investment. It’s a big move. And it’s crazy how I was just ready to do it at the drop of a hat when the news of his new job came. I must love him a lot.

    Bash: Long-distance isn’t fun. Travelling a lot also isn’t fun with all the price hikes and money scarcity. But we’re making it work for now until we’re ready to move to that stage where either of us can relocate, and we can live together.

    Ife: We don’t want to pressure ourselves into jumping milestones, but we’ve also said to each other that if we haven’t moved to the same city by our first anniversary in February, we’d let each other go.

    Bash: It’s just to keep each other on our toes. We don’t want to take the great effort we both put into sustaining our relationship for granted. We have a goal: find a way to literally get back together. We’re both looking for jobs in opposite cities right now.

    Ife: The running inside joke is, “What if we both get really good jobs, and all we achieve is switching places?”

    I forbid it for you. On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your Love Life?

    Bash: 5, for obvious reasons.

    Ife: That’s not fair to our love life, though. I’d say 7, at least. 

    I never thought I’d even give long-distance a try. Love did that.

    Check back every Thursday by 9 AM for new Love Life stories here. The stories will also be a part of the Ships newsletter, so sign up here.

    RECOMMENDED: Love Life: We Bonded Over the Death of Our First Spouses

  • The Best Meat for Nigerian Swallow, According to Chat GPT

    The Best Meat for Nigerian Swallow, According to Chat GPT

    My friends never agree with me when I argue with my full chest that there’s no beating turkey’s supremacy. It’s that meat that gives, whether you’re having it with swallow, rice or as a standalone grilled or peppered treat.

    Since Artificial Intelligence (AI) claims to know all, I decided to put it to the test. I went to the almighty Chat GPT to help us rank the best meat for swallow in particular. While I can’t say I completely agree with this list, AI told no lies.

    6. Goat meat

    The Best Meat for Nigerian Swallow, According to Chat GPT

    Source: Dooneyskitchen

    If you can ignore the strong stench, Chat GPT might have a point here. Goat meat is bae, especially when you have it with white or black amala. But why does it have to be so expensive? A portion sells for as high as ₦500 – 1000 at local bukkas. Not a good spend when you consider the ponmo you’ll get at the same price.

    My ranking: 3

    5. Chicken

    The Best Meat for Nigerian Swallow, According to Chat GPT

    Source: Sisijemimah

    How can? I completely disagree with this ranking. The only time chicken should show face on your plate is when it’s with rice, spaghetti or chips. If for any reason you choose to serve chicken with any Nigerian swallow, it should be deep-fried to a crunch and soaked in the pot of soup for three working days.

    My ranking: 4

    4. Beef Suya

    Source: SisiJemimah

    Sound ridiculous, but AI might be on to something here. Have you ever tried a generous serving of spicy suya with vegetable soup? It is a serve. However, by all means, avoid kilichi with any type of Nigerian swallow.

    My ranking: 5

     [ad]

    3. Catfish or tilapia

    The Best Meat for Nigerian Swallow, According to Chat GPT

    Source: Dobby’s Signature

    The focus is meat, but if AI insists we should include any type of fish in this list, then I’ll have to partially agree. I think the only acceptable way to eat catfish is to have it smoked to perfection or in a spicy pepper soup broth. Tilapia, on the other hand, is a serve with any Nigerian swallow.

    My ranking: 6

    2. Turkey

    Source: Queenvarieties

    This is your second reminder that this user is a shameless turkey stan who believes in the ultimate supremacy of turkey. Grilled, peppered, fried, boiled, it’s the one meat that goes with all swallow and all its varying servings.

    My ranking: 1

    1. Offal (Tripe, liver, kidney)

    The Best Meat for Nigerian Swallow, According to Chat GPT

    Also known as “inu eran”, there’s no 100% amala satisfaction without a generous serving of stewed offal. It’s the only way to enjoy the true amala experience, although I cannot say the same for other swallow offerings. 

    My ranking: 2

    You’ll have your fill of grilled, peppered or fried meat and many more at Zikoko’s meat festival in November. Have you bought your Burning Ram ticket? You can do that real quick here.

  • How to Win ₦120 million: A Gen Z Baddie’s Guide

    How to Win ₦120 million: A Gen Z Baddie’s Guide

    The debut season of the Big Brother Naija All-Stars wrapped up over the weekend, and Ilebaye emerged as the winner. Pity votes or not, she went into the house with her eyes on the prize and a thought-out strategy.

    If you are ever in a position where prize money is at stake, you might learn a thing or seven from how she played her game.

    Adopt a corny name like “Gen Z Baddie”

    It was initially giving “delulu” when Ilebaye entered Big Brother’s house and crowned herself the Gen Z baddie, but who has the last laugh now? Exactly. Dig deep and find a cliche name that rolls off the mouth of your ops with a tinge of guilty pleasure. 

    Be quick to apologise 

    An apology to your ops doesn’t mean you’ve snoozed, it only means you know how to play the long game. Our Gen Z baddie knows this trick by heart.

    The morning after Doyin verbally attacked Seyi, Ike Pere and Venita for throwing Ilebaye’s properties inside the toilet, guess who was making peace and sharing hugs with her op? Ilebaye. While the housemates might have seen through her, she swayed public perception in her favour. Sodiq Ologbon!

    Small confusion here and there

    Gen Z baddie that cannot challenge the status quo? Definitely not our Ilebaye. 70 days in the house and most housemates had a score or two to settle with Ilebaye. 

    It was giving: “She’s the weapon fashioned against us”. But it also made Ilebaye one of the most talked about housemates of the season. Are you beginning to understand her game? Let’s proceed.

     [ad]

    Some Ekun Egbere too

    Yoruba people have a saying about the guilty being the first to shed tears, but when ₦120 million is at stake, who cares about traditional rhetoric? 

    Everything but a Nigerian accent

    Nothing makes Nigerians fold faster than an accent that is everything but theirs. They might bash you for being fake or getting the accent wrong, but you’ll have their full attention.

    Pepper Dem’s Mercy Eke had a hilarious Ameri-Igbo accent that endeared her to viewers, and it’s no surprise she ended up winning the season. Ilebaye might have borrowed a page from Mercy’s book here with her Ghanaian-Nigerian accent. 

    READ ALSO: These Are the Most Unforgettable Moments From the BBN All-Stars House

    A meeeh dress sense

    Because how else will you sway people into believing you need the money to employ the services of a proper glam team? 

    70 days in the house and Ilebaye gave nothing, fashion-wise. Her Saturday night party fits were neither here nor there, and her day-to-day fits? Very forgettable. But it was all part of the grand scheme because have you seen Ilebaye’s drip on the gram?

    Tease the boys

    Some people might say she desperately wanted a ship with Whitemoney, Cross and Neo, but I’ll say our Gen Z baddie just wanted to rile the girlies up. And boy, did it work? Tolani Baj even went as far as dragging a duvet off her body while she was snuggling with Neo. God, abeg.

    Zikoko is hosting the biggest gathering of meat lovers this November. Will you be there?

    Grab your tickets to Burning Ram here.

  • 25 of the Most Ridiculous Videos on Nigerian TikTok Right Now

    25 of the Most Ridiculous Videos on Nigerian TikTok Right Now

    I always leave Nigerian TikTok with a dizzying feeling. It is organised chaos from my fellow countrymen that I absolutely hate to admit I love. The haphazard transitions, ridiculous storylines, and above all, the freedom to express an unchecked level of tomfoolery — inject it, please. 

    I’m not the only one with this guilty pleasure, as suggested by a recent tweet on Elon Musk’s X. So I’ve taken the guilty pleasure of compiling 25 of the most ridiculous videos you’ll find on Nigerian TikTok right now.

    Uncle Agbabiaka, please

    Is it me or they kinda ate?

    https://twitter.com/mutmainahakeem/status/1708952624689492153?s=46&t=gV-1mmgH3NC_RQhcgp1x3w

    Shakespeare could never 

    Anambra King Kong

    [ad]

    Hide your babe!

    Mummy, why?

    Hollywood tried it and failed

    Are you not embarrassed? This is really embarrassing 

    Transition on fleek

    He’s got moves

    https://twitter.com/damiar0s/status/1708913948995543310?s=46&t=gV-1mmgH3NC_RQhcgp1x3w

    Where is his Michelin star?

    Tearssss

    Our veteran daddy

    Not the talented mosquito 

    How did she get Mummy to partake?

    Excuse you?

    Heavy bombastic side-eye

    Granddaddy is lowkey serving 

    Jesus?

    Aren’t you impressed?

    They’re the real housewives of Nigeria

    https://twitter.com/_ablaii/status/1709119610895712316?s=46&t=gV-1mmgH3NC_RQhcgp1x3w

    Big purrrrrrrrrr

    It’s lowkey a bop

    “Dem go dey denge denge, dem go dey pose”

    It’s giving Call to Glory

    We’re throwing the biggest meat festival in Lagos. Grab your tickets to Burning Ram here.

  • The Afrobeats Stars with The Coolest Cars

    The Afrobeats Stars with The Coolest Cars

    Wizkid might have gagged the girlies with his bicycle in 2011, but it’s 2023 and old things have passed away. The singer boasts of one of the most expensive garages among his peers, spotting cars like the Rolls Royce Cullinan and Mercedes Maybach.

    But Machala is not the only afrobeats artiste who goes hard on his rides, we’ve compiled a list with all the details.

    Davido

    Source: Instagram/@davido

    When OBO isn’t splashing millions on iced-out jewellery, he’s copping the limited edition Virgil Abloh Maybach for a whopping ₦450 million.

    While this is his latest known car purchase, Davido took delivery of a Lamborghini Aventador that cost him ₦310 million in 2022 and a Rolls Royce Cullinan worth ₦240 million in 2021.

    Burna Boy

    If Burna Boy’s almost-instant replacement of his crashed Ferrari is anything to go by, then you’d know his garage takes top priority in his affairs.

    The Grammy-nominated singer has an impressive fleet that includes a Lamborghini Urus (Novitec Edition), Rolls Royce Dawn convertible ($346k), Mercedes Maybach and Lamborghini Aventador SVJ ($1m).

    Wizkid

    Starboy has a reputation for keeping a low profile, but the singer made headlines in September 2022 after an auto-dealer announced he’d placed an order for seven cars.

    Wizkid’s order included a Rolls Royce Cullinan, Mercedes Maybach V-Class and Lamborghini Aventador. Fast forward to March 2023, the singer added the 2022 Black Badge Rolls Royce Cullinan (₦600m) to his collection. Wizkid copped yet another Rolls Royce in April 2023.

    READ ALSO: 9 Hilarious Car Names Nigerians Invented

    P-Square

    The brothers have been known to flaunt pictures of their luxury garages on social media.

    Peter Okoye AKA Mr P owns a Ford Mustang, Range Rover, Mercedes Benz G-Wagon, Jeep Wrangler and Porsche 718 Cayman.

    Paul Okoye AKA King Rudy’s fleet includes a Lamborghini Aventador Roadster, Bentley Bentayga, Jeep Wrangler, BMW X6, Range Rover and a Lamborghini Huracan.

    [ad]

    Tiwa Savage

    African Bad Gyal doesn’t seem to fancy exotic rides as much as the boys. Her last notable purchase was a customised Mercedes Benz V250 ( ₦60 million) in 2019. 

    Olamide

    The YBNL boss set the internet ablaze during the 2020 COVID year when he copped a Lamborghini Aventador (₦218 million). But that’s not the only high-end whip in Baddo’s garage. In 2022, the singer once again turned faces in his direction after casually stepping out of a Rolls Royce Ghost sedan.

    Portable

    Although he keeps crashing his rides, Portable has built himself quite an impressive garage since he took off in 2021. His first major car was a Range Rover he received as a gift from a fan. Portable would go on to acquire a second Range Rover SUV after his first one was allegedly vandalized by “area boys” in Ikorodu. He’s gotten a G-Wagon Brabus and BMW X3 since then.

    We’re throwing the biggest meat festival in Lagos. Grab your tickets to Burning Ram here.

  • 7 Nigerians Share What They Did After Graduation 

    7 Nigerians Share What They Did After Graduation 

    I visited my aunt some months ago and saw my 14-year-old cousin loitering around a woodwork store a few blocks away. Naturally, I assumed he was on an errand and would join me in his house shortly.

    One hour after I’d settled in, he didn’t return, and I was forced to tell my aunt I’d seen him loitering around. She laughed off my concern and told me he was at his training centre. Apparently, she’d discovered his love for woodwork from some DIY projects in school and decided to enroll him with a professional. They had an arrangement that saw him spending one to two hours at the workshop after closing from school. I was tempted to protest the idea, but I’d taken a mental note of the place earlier, and it would’ve passed for an IKEA showroom. 

    This reminded me of how I’d persuaded my mum to enroll me for a graphic design certification course in the second year after I’d completed secondary school without a university admission. These seven Nigerians share their own stories of how they spent life after graduating from secondary school or university. 

    Onyinye*, 32

    I had some outstanding fees to pay after finishing 400 level, so I couldn’t graduate. Things were tough at home, so I had to take up a teaching job at a primary school to raise the remainder of my school fees. I worked for a year and about seven months. It was one of the toughest things I had to do, but no experience taught me more about patience.

    Iyanu*, 33

    I graduated with a third-class degree, so I wasn’t excited to be done with school. I knew my parents would want to see my results because they had friends and relatives who’d asked for my CV to be passed along once I graduated. I couldn’t let that happen, so I sought to start making money before I was posted for NYSC. That way, I’d already have something to do and they wouldn’t need to help me look for jobs when I graduated. I went to stay with a friend who promised to “Show me the way”. I’d spend most of the day watching him type letters on his system, and whenever I asked, “What’s up?” He’d tell me to observe the way he writes and responds. It didn’t take me long to figure out he was into internet fraud. I didn’t have a problem with it after watching him get paid in dollars. Twice, I tried my hands at it but failed. He was also always reading and learning how to write many different documents. And I knew I didn’t have the head for heavy reading or writing, especially when it’s to scam. So I ended up taking a factory job, and that was where I did my NYSC PPA. These days, I’m an Uber driver. 

    Tara* 17

    I graduated from secondary school last year, and I’ve not started processing my admission because I didn’t pass all my WAEC subjects. I’m retaking the exam, but pending the time I’ll resume tutorial classes, my mum enrolled me at a makeup school. She doesn’t like the idea of leaving me at home doing nothing while everyone goes to work. I resume at 9 and close at 3 p.m. from Mondays to Fridays. 

    [ad]

    Godfrey, 38*

    I’m still mad at my parents for not making me learn something after I graduated from secondary school. I was at home for three years before I gained admission, and I spent all that time doing chores, watching movies and babysitting for aunties and uncles. If I’d learned something, I’d have been more buoyant in uni. I had coursemates who were hairdressers, barbers, electricians, shoemakers, and they were hardly ever dead broke because they had something bringing extra money. And then, there I was, relying on pocket money for the most part of my time in uni. 

    James 30

    After graduating from uni in 2016, we had to wait for some months for clearance and NYSC. There was a lot of free time, but I didn’t want to go back home to do nothing. So this close pal, who was a first-class student, looped me in on something he was doing. I didn’t know it was a ponzi scheme at the time, I just knew it was money-doubling. Pay ₦10k, and recoup ₦20k, that sort of thing. Anyway, this friend got a lightbulb moment to run our own “honest” ponzi scheme. We formed a team of six, including a pastor who was big on “honest” ponzi. I was in charge of customer support, and we managed to build a level of trust you didn’t find with other ponzi websites at the time. We’d constantly keep people in the loop about when to expect their payment and such. But things went south when someone hacked our system and diverted the funds. We also got word from the pastor that the evil eye had been cast upon the entire project. The tipping point was when neighbours called the police on us on the hunch that we were yahoo boys. Thankfully, we’d taken an out-of-state trip at the time, and they could only get hold of my friend’s cousin. I honestly thought I was going to make my first and several millions from it. But that was the end of that episode. Months later, I went for NYSC in Lagos and resumed at a small e-commerce company as a content writer. 

    READ ALSO: Kill It at Any Job Interview With These 8 Hacks

     Maria*, 45

    I studied History and couldn’t find a job after I completed NYSC. The school I served in was in the north. They offered to retain me, but I knew I didn’t want to live there, and I wasn’t really interested in teaching. It was stressful, and the salary wasn’t rewarding. After about three months of job hunting, I enrolled at a fashion design school, and that was how I became a tailor. I wonder why I went to university at all because I could’ve spent all that time at the fashion school. I’m always telling my kids to let me know if they want to learn anything. I don’t want them making the same mistakes I did.

    Jumoke, 40

    I baked snacks and cakes for friends during their birthdays in uni. I’d learned the basics from my mum and got better on my own. This made it easy for me to get something to do when I graduated. My parents were actually worried at some point because they thought I’d drop out or graduate with bad grades. To them, baking was a distraction. But I made 2:1, and three weeks after graduation, my parents gave me money to buy a professional mixer and industrial oven. I think they were so supportive because I took my business as seriously as my education. My kids are still young, but I know I’ll want them to have a clear path early on in life too. I’m always paying attention to their interests; my husband thinks I’m doing too much.

    We’re throwing the biggest meat festival in Lagos. Grab your tickets to Burning Ram here.

  • Why You Should Read The First Season of PiggyVest’s “Grown Ups”

    Why You Should Read The First Season of PiggyVest’s “Grown Ups”

    Written by Rayo Ailara

    Nothing defines the feeling of transitioning into adulthood quite like graduation day. Even as you celebrate with family and friends, you can’t ignore the thrilling and frightening reality that this day marks your first true step into the real world. The desire to do things for yourself, to take charge becomes strong. You want to make big decisions, you want to make meaningful plans, you want to take control.

    PiggyVest’s first comic series, Grown Ups does a solid job of capturing that feeling with its first episode, successfully setting the stage for a relatable and entertaining first season. It’s a coming-of-age series that follows four young Nigerians who are fresh out of university and trying to figure life out. Produced by Nigeria’s leading savings and investment platform, it’s no surprise that Grown Ups focuses an extra eye on their different paths to financial stability.

    Meet The Characters

    Nonye. Brilliant, kind, and hardworking, she is a born hustler with an unmatchable drive to succeed. She is the friend everyone needs in their corner.

    Uwem. The smart but impulsive one. Uwem has the ability to sell ideas, but his ideas aren’t always great. His dreams are large and he is willing to go to any length to achieve them.

    Marvin. The life of the party. Enjoyment is always guaranteed whenever he’s around. However, with a politician father and a high-achieving sister, Marvin feels he has to constantly try to prove himself. 

    Jerry. The independent, self-reliant and protective one. He is always willing to put the needs of others before his own. Sometimes, Jerry’s ego gets in the way of his relationship with others. 

    Why should you read PiggyVest’s Grown Ups?

    Interesting visual appeal

    Grown Ups has a fascinating visual style — and it gets even better as the story progresses. Drawn by the talented Israel Obasola, the illustrations breathe life into the characters and their surroundings, making every issue a delight to read. 

    Universal themes and life lessons

    The comic subtly educates as it entertains, making it an excellent resource for those seeking financial guidance and personal growth in their own lives. If you are looking for stories connected to real issues young adults worry about today, Grown Ups is a good place to start. 

    [ad]

    Rich storytelling

    In Grown Ups, every major character is shaped by their relationships with other characters, and there are wide-ranging consequences for each action. This interconnectedness, a credit to Agnes Ekanem’s thoughtful writing, lends the comic a surprising amount of narrative density and emotional weight. It also teaches an important lesson: personal growth is hardly a solitary journey. 

    Consider Nonye. Her tense relationship with her father contrasts sharply with the warmth she shares with her mother. Meanwhile, Marvin’s sweet but tense relationship with his sister demonstrates the power (and complexity) of sibling relationships. These relationships power Grown Ups from issue to issue.

    Relatable characters 

    The main characters in Grown Ups are deeply relatable for the average young person. Nonye, Jerry, Uwem and Marvin are everyday people dealing with everyday struggles. Each character reflects the experiences of countless young adults striving to find their place in the world. 

    In each issue, you will discover pieces of yourself and your story in these characters. You may even draw motivation from their wins and losses. Whether you’re an Uwem, chasing your dreams with all the grace of a bull in a china shop, or a Jerry, being the ultimate “superhero,” Grown Ups is the comic that will have you saying, “Yep, that’s SO me!” 


    If you haven’t started reading the comic, you can check out the first issue here. (Find all the issues here.)

    And after you’re done,  you can find out which Grown Ups character you are with this quiz and then watch the creators and fans discuss season 1. 

  • Love Life: We Bonded Over the Death of Our First Spouses

    Love Life: We Bonded Over the Death of Our First Spouses

    Love Life is a Zikoko weekly series about love, relationships, situationships, entanglements and everything in between.

    What was your first impression of each other?

    Bode: I stumbled on her Instagram page by chance in 2017 when I’d just created an account. And I thought she was so gorgeous. I knew from some of the things she wrote that she was Nigerian, and I had to try to get in touch with her.

    Ann: I’d only had my own account for about five months thanks to a slightly younger friend of mine who always made an effort to stay on trend. I was barely active on Facebook, but she had me believing Instagram was the place to be if I wanted to keep up with the world.

    When Bode messaged me at first, I thought, “Aha, the creeps have come.” But I took the time to read his introduction, and it was well-crafted and poetic. I had to respond.

    Bode: Immediately I got to find out we were in the same city, I set up a meeting — a date, really. And the rest they say is history.

    How did this first “meeting” go?

    Bode: Splendidly. We found out that it’s truly a small world, and on top of that, we had a lot in common.

    Ann: Starting with the fact that he and my mum were from the same Egba town in Ogun state, and we’d both recently lost our spouses. 

    His first wife died about a year before from breast cancer, and I lost my husband to a botched hip surgery four months before I met Bode. In fact, I’d only just decided to overcome the grief when I read his DM. After our first meeting, I felt guilty for days because it felt like such a huge betrayal to my husband’s memory to talk to another guy who wasn’t a friend.

    Bode: We took a break for about a month before we talked again, and I told her I liked her a lot. I told her I wanted to take care of her and help her heal properly.

    Ann: We had this long phone conversation where he told me all about how his wife passed, what it was like for him and what helped him recover. All I did was bawl my eyes out during that call, but it was also healing for me. It was some kind of therapy, and I appreciated that he was bold enough to initiate that kind of conversation with me. 

    All my friends did was pretend the death never happened, even pretend that Ezekiel never existed, just so they don’t upset me. But I needed that good cry, and Bode did that for me.

    So you decided to start seeing each other?

    Ann: Yes. 

    I was sad for a while after that call. But then, I was happy again and much lighter. And Bode was through my door with a basket of fruits, wine and baked goods the next morning. We had a pseudo picnic on the floor of my living room.

    Bode: We talked for a while, about her family, about church, about how far apart we lived. Both our kids were mostly adults by then, and out of the house for college or work. She only had one son who had less than two more years left in high school. Now, he’s long gone, far away in Sydney.

    Ann: From that day on, we became each other’s companions as Bode was nearing retirement. 

    My friends were a little concerned at first because it was a rule for us to be careful around people who were complete strangers. We always had to befriend or date a friend of a friend of a friend, even if there were 1,000 friends between us. As long as someone somewhere knew the person, or at least, were coworkers or church mates. You can never be too safe in the US of A. But because Bode lived on the other side of the city, no one in my circle could vouch for him, and that made my people concerned. 

    I decided to take that risk, and six years on, I don’t regret it. He’s fully integrated into my group now.

    It’s been six years? Will there be wedding bells anytime soon?

    Bode: It’s something we talk about time and time again, but we may never do it.

    Ann: The memories of our spouses are still very much in our relationship today. We owe it to ourselves to completely heal from that before embarking on such a pivotal journey with each other. We’re taking it easy with separate and joint therapy and really just want to take this relationship at its natural pace.

    Bode: Age might not be on our side, but we already had the marriage of our youth, so we’re not in a hurry.

    Her separation from her husband was also quite rough. She didn’t get to have closure like I did. I spent years nursing Funmi, so there was plenty of time to let go and come to terms with the finality of her absence. 

    For Ann, one moment he was in through the theatre doors to undergo a pretty routine procedure, the next? 

    Ann: It was completely unexpected. I didn’t get to say goodbye. There were way too many things left unsaid. That’s a lot of baggage to bring into a new marriage.

    Bode: I’ve had closure, but I haven’t quite let go of my wife either. Not sure I ever will. Her photos are everywhere.

    If you want to share your own Love Life story, fill out this form.

    Would you then consider your current relationship romantic given the situation?

    Bode: It’s very romantic. Trust me.

    Ann: It’s a little unconventional, I know. We don’t live together, and we aren’t necessarily dating to get married, but everything else is romantic. We are the most important people to each other. Sometimes, I imagine I value him even more than my children. He’s my confidant and companion, and he makes me happy in other ways too.

    Bode: The intimacy is very strong between us, and I’m grateful for that. There’s something we always do and that’s organise surprises on special days. It’s like a competition now. 

    Since the day we got together, I’ve felt like I’ve entered a new lease on life.

    How do your kids feel about your relationship?

    Ann: My kids are super supportive, but they’re also mostly absent. 

    I have four boys. They all left the house during college. My husband and I got a mortgage in a city that isn’t exactly prime commercial U.S. Every young soul is going to Dallas or Silicon. Let them go make money. I don’t think my boys care who I share my bed with.

    Bode: I tell you, it’s girls that care about their parents. 

    I have two boys and a girl, and after all my “I want sons. I want sons,” who stops by to check that I’ve not passed away in my sleep? Even if it’s just for the small inheritance they may get after, can’t they show concern? I only see all my kids on Christmas Day, but my daughter comes over at least three other times during the year, and I appreciate her for it. 

    They’ve all met and adore Ann. What’s not to adore?

    Ann: Honestly, I don’t know what’s more heartbreaking, being dumped by a significant other or by your own children. 

    These days, I find myself calling home to speak with my parents — yep, they’re still alive — because now, I feel bad for having left them in Nigeria for greener pastures here. My only sister is in the U.K. as well. It must’ve been so hard on them. 

    Sorry to digress. In summary, our kids are generally good sports about us being together.

    Bode: The only time my eldest showed concern was when I sold the house I’d only just finished covering the mortgage on, to buy a smaller one closer to Ann. He raised eyebrows over FaceTime when that happened, but then, he casually said, “Well, it’s your life, Dad. I hope she makes you happy.” His flippant tone was the worst thing ever. 

    Kids will break your heart, mark my words.

    OMG. Have you two had a major fight yet?

    Bode: Of course. We’ve fought over politics most of all. She’s a lot more conservative Republican than I am, and a lot less concerned about what’s happening in Nigeria. So it’s either I’m too understanding of the ongoing gender and sexuality topic, not Christian enough or I get too worked up over a country neither of us have been to in decades.

    Ann: He’s American, born and bred, and only visited Lagos a couple of summers when he was a teenager and his grandmother was keen on seeing more of him. I actually lived in Nigeria up until I was 16. So I don’t get why he acts more concerned than the pope. Especially since there’s little either of us can do about the state of things there.

    Bode: Who knows? We won’t know if we don’t talk about it.

    Anyway, we also fought over therapy once. 

    Ann: In 2021, our psychologist concluded that his casual drinking was becoming more insistent because it’s been his grief coping mechanism for too long. He stubbornly insisted he was no longer in grief, so why would he need alcohol to cope? 

    I could see that she was right, but he couldn’t. It frustrated me because he was beginning to drink a lot and at odd hours of the day. Maybe he’d started thinking about his wife more, but he wouldn’t open up to me and kept insisting he was fine. 

    Eventually, the whole thing blew up, and we had our biggest argument yet. It left me in tears. However, we came out of it knowing we weren’t trying to hurt each other. It was a hard period for us that lasted some weeks, but we were able to work through his feelings together, and that only strengthened our relationship.

    Bode: I couldn’t have said any of that better myself.

    I have no idea if I actually missed my wife or if it was just general disillusionment about life, but it was great to have a support system in Ann at that time.

    How would you rate your Love Life on a scale of 1 to 10?

    Bode: 10/10

    Ann: Same. You came at the perfect time. You’re my Godsend.

    Check back every Thursday by 9 AM for new Love Life stories here. The stories will also be a part of the Ships newsletter, so sign up here.

    NEXT UP: Love Life: We’ve Drifted Apart, but Can’t Break Our Engagement

  • Napoli Sparks Outrage After Trolling Victor Osimhen on TikTok Over Missed Penalty

    Napoli Sparks Outrage After Trolling Victor Osimhen on TikTok Over Missed Penalty

    International football club, Napoli, recently trolled striker, Victor Osimhen, on TikTok over a missed penalty during a match against Bologna. 

    Here’s all we know about the situation which has left a bitter taste in the mouth of Nigerians and sparked outrage against the club.

    Napoli Sparks Outrage After Trolling Victor Osimhen Over Missed Penalty

    What happened?

    Nigerian footballer, Victor Osimhen, striker for international football club, Napoli, lost a penalty that could’ve earned the club a win over its opponent, Bologna, during an Italian league match on Sunday, September 24.

    Osimhen was also substituted out 87 minutes into the game, an action which led him to air his frustrations against his manager, Rudi Garcia, during the match. However, according to reports, the footballer apologised to his manager and teammates after his outburst.

    A day after the match, the club trolled Osimhen in a now-deleted TikTok video on its official page. This clip which has since gone viral on social media carried the text, “Gimme penalty please” and included a muddled audio playback of the words.

    Shortly after the video went live, Nigerians flooded X with their outrage against the club over the distasteful post.

    [ad]

    Osimhen’s history with Napoli

    The Nigerian footballer joined the Serie A club as a striker in 2020 for a club fee reportedly pegged at €70 million and expected to rise to €80 million with additional add-ons.

    Prior to joining the club, Osimhen had played as a striker for French club, Lille. 

    In the last three years, he’s arguably grown to be the club’s best player. He was the highest goal scorer in the 2022/2023 campaign and won the Serie A Golden Boot. Osimhen’s 1-1 draw at Udinese won the club their first Serie A title in 33 years in May 2023.

    In the past, Osimhen has been widely celebrated by both the club and its supporters.

    READ ALSO: The Many Non-Football Battles of the Super Falcons

    Calls for public apology 

    Despite the club taking the video down from TikTok, some Nigerians have called on the club to tender an official apology. Others have asked Osimhen to consider exiting. 

    This is a developing story.

    We’re throwing the biggest meat festival in Lagos. Sign up here to be notified when ticket sales begin.