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Every week, Zikoko seeks to understand how people move the Naira in and out of their lives. Some stories will be struggle-ish, others will be bougie. All the time, it’ll be revealing.
What’s your earliest memory of money?
Five-year-old me thought money used to multiply. Some context: When I was in kindergarten, I noticed people would walk up to my class teacher with one ₦50 note, and she’d give them two sachets of water and two ₦20 notes as change. In my head, I concluded one single money could give you “two money.”
LOL. Didn’t we all?
I decided to multiply my own money too. So, I took ₦50 from my mum’s purse and used it to buy water from my teacher. When she gave me the “two money”, I proudly took it home to show my mum. She was like, “So, you’ve started stealing at this age?” Good times.
Now that you mention your parents, what did they do for money?
My dad is a lecturer, and my mum has a small business.
Before secondary school, I thought we had money. Maybe it’s because I didn’t pay attention to the finances, and I had mostly all I needed. But I was definitely shocked when I started asking for money in secondary school, and my parents would always respond with, “There’s no money.”
That’s when I started realising the small things like how we never had a family outing. Even on the odd occasion when my mum bought outside food, she’d buy just two plates, and the five of us would have to manage it.
What did this realisation change?
It led to my “I need to make money” phase at 15 years old. I was in SS 3 in boarding school when I started painting my schoolmates’ nails, charging between ₦50 and ₦100. It was illegal, but I’d walk around the hostel with my nail file and nail polish, announcing, “Do your nails!” It was my trademark.
I used to make an average of ₦300 daily and lived large. I spent all my money at the tuck shop.
Did you continue after secondary school?
I wanted to, but my dad thought starting a side business would affect my studies. So, I dropped it.
I started uni in January 2020, but had to return home after a couple of weeks due to a combination of the COVID pandemic and an ASUU strike. In June, I decided to learn a skill, so I picked make-up. My mum paid ₦200k for the three-month training and the make-up box I needed. But I only practised on a few people before abandoning it.
Why?
I felt I couldn’t make people look pretty. Luckily, school resumed in 2021, and I went back to focusing on my studies.
Did you try any other thing for money?
I went to classes from home (I still do), and my dad wanted me to focus, so I couldn’t do any business.
I don’t have an allowance because he gives me transport money to school every day. The man doesn’t even know I have a bank account.
But I was on social media a lot. In 2022, I decided to give content creation a try. I thought it might be fun, and I’d also heard that creators make a lot of money.
How did that go?
I wanted to create content relatable to people like me who weren’t rich kids, so I challenged myself to live on ₦1k daily and share my results. People definitely found it relatable because my accounts grew quite quickly, and I started making money from it in 2023.
How do you make money as a content creator?
Mainly through influencing gigs. Brands reach out for custom content, and others send free gifts so I can talk about them on my channels. My first client reached out to me in January and paid ₦20k for three videos. I was ecstatic. I’d initially charged ₦25k, but I didn’t even mind. It was the motivation I needed to take creating content seriously.
The only downside is, the money is not constant, and brands sometimes owe me too. There was this brand I worked with for three months. In that time, I made 16 videos for them, and my total pay was ₦300k. They paid 40% before the campaign started, and were supposed to pay a percentage every month. But they paid another 20% in the third month, and 40% months after the campaign ended. I’ve worked with them a couple of times, and they always pay late.
Is this your regular experience with brands?
Thankfully, it’s not regular. I guess I’ve been pretty lucky. The wildest influencing gig I’ve ever gotten was from someone who paid me ₦100k just to play their song in the background of one of my videos. It was easy money.
What’s your monthly income from influencing like?
On average, ₦50k per month. Some months are better than others, though. The ₦100k gig was just last month.
What about your expenses?
Pretty moderate. I still try to live on ₦1k daily because of my content, but the way the economy is going these days means I often overshoot my budget. But I still live at home, so food and transportation to school are taken care of.
But I should confess. This moderate lifestyle is just a few months old. When I first started making money online in January, I went on a spending spree for months.
What were you spending on?
Everything I was interested in at the moment. You know how you start getting strange ideas when you have money you don’t need? That was how it was for me.
First, I decided I wanted to get into those coffee girl aesthetics. So I bought an icemaker for ₦90k and a coffee maker for ₦25k. I’ve not used them for even one day; the icemaker is still inside the carton.
Another time, I became obsessed with BookTok — the readers section of TikTok — and thought reading books would help me escape the reality of living at home. I started with fantasy and dystopian books. When I grew tired of those because the plots started to look the same, I moved to deeper self-help books. I quickly got tired of reading those as well, but I just kept buying them, telling myself I’d read them one day.
The last bulk purchase I made was in June — I bought nine books which cost almost ₦100k, plus delivery. From January to June, I spent ₦400k on over 60 books. Most of them are unread and are just sitting on my shelf. I console myself with the fact that I can still sell them someday.
Now, I’ve moved past all that and just save my money.
Do you have a savings goal?
I’m saving to get my own place. My family home is nice, but it gets tiring. Since July, I’ve tried to save 80% of every amount I get from influencing. It’s currently around ₦300k. But I’m still debating whether to stick it out till I graduate and invest my savings in a piece of land instead, so I can resell it for a profit later.
The remaining 20% of my income is the vex money I use for the odd outing, or when I need data to create content.
Can you break down your typical expenses in a month?
Data – ₦15,000
Eating out – ₦30,000
Miscellaneous – ₦10,000
I don’t spend a lot, even when creating content. I just use my phone and a tiny influencer light I bought for ₦10k on AliExpress.
Do you plan to continue creating content after uni?
Yes. It’s my backup career plan. There’s money in content creation o. I know people who don’t have a degree but make millions from it.
Plus, I did a two-month unpaid internship as part of school requirements in April, and I realised there’s no money in the course I’m studying at school. But I’m still studying hard to graduate with good grades so I can have both my degree and content creation. Then, I can stick to whatever pays more.
How would you describe your relationship with money?
I feel like I’ve been playing since, but I’m now focused on making my money work for me. I save better, and I’m deliberate about spending and managing my money. I’m active on social media, and I’m familiar with the urge to live a fake life, but I make do with what I have.
You guys recently did a video where you asked people how long it’d take them to spend ₦500k. It’d probably take me two years with how deliberate I am now.
My mindset now is, I need to make money for my future, and no one will make it for me.
How much money qualifies as “good money” to you?
I honestly can’t pick a specific figure. More money will come with more responsibilities, so I don’t think there’s a point where I’ll be satisfied. It’s always on to the next thing.
Is there anything you want right now but can’t afford?
Definitely land. It’s part of my savings goals, but I want to get land in an already developed area to get better returns on investment. I’d need ₦3m – ₦4m for that.
On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate your financial happiness?
10. I’m not spending my money on nonsense anymore. I know where I am now, and where I want to get to. I’ve also learned to limit impulse decisions and not do more than myself.
If you’re interested in talking about your Naira Life story, this is a good place to start.
President Tinubu and the Nigerian Government made some interesting to questionable moves this week. We’ve compiled the high and lowlights across different sectors of government.
FG pays pensioners owed pension arrears
Some good news for pensioners of the Power and Transport Sectors of the Parastatals Pension Department. The federal government finalised payment of ₦1.02bn to 7,091 beneficiaries on Sunday, November 5.
“The payment represents 39 per cent of the accrued pension arrears owed pensioners in the said sectors for the period August 2015 to September 2023, as a result of the computation of the monthly pension of pensioners of Parastals Pension Department based on their career details, salary structure and applicable pension increments,” stated Olugbenga Ajayi, head of Corporate Communications Unit, Pension Transitional Arrangement Directorate.
Barely weeks after the senate approved Tinubu’s controversial 2023 supplementary budget, the president is making moves for the 2024 national budget. On Monday, November 6, sources within the presidency disclosed the president’s intention to present the budget in the third week of November, so fingers crossed.
The government has commenced the implementation of an automatic 40% deduction of internally generated revenues of federal universities across the country. The FG in October had announced that the deduction would take effect from November 2023.
With the commencement of this deduction, there could be an increase in tuition fees for the students.
Governor Sanwo-Olu “came through” for Lagosians as he slashed the fare on state-regulated buses like BRT and rail transport by 25%. The directive took effect on Tuesday, November 7, 2023, with no clear indication of how long it’ll last.
Governor Umo Eno denies padding supplementary budget
It appears President Tinubu’s supplementary budget isn’t the only one that’s raised eyebrows in recent times. On Tuesday, November 6, in Akwa Ibom, Governor Umo Eno shut down allegations that he padded the state’s supplementary budget.
Eno spoke up after Policy Alert, an NGO focused on promoting fiscal and ecological justice in the Niger Delta region, highlighted some controversial appropriations in the budget.
President Tinubu leads 9-man delegate to Saudi-Africa summit
The president is in Riyadh, the capital of Saudi Arabia, for the inaugural edition of the Saudi-Africa summit. Through the summit, President Tinubu hopes to attract more direct foreign investment and expand business partnerships for the country.
Minister of Foreign Affairs, Amb. Yusuf Tuggar; Minister of Education, Prof. Tahir Mamman; and the Coordinating Minister of the Economy and Minister of Finance, Mr Wale Edun are among the president’s official delegate.
On Wednesday, November 7, Minister of Power, Adebayo Adelabu, revealed that President Tinubu ordered a stop to the implementation of a hike in electricity tariff and insisted on subsidising the power consumed nationwide. The president insisted that before power companies can charge a cost-reflective tariff, there should be constant power supply.
At the moment, Nigerians pay ₦70 per kilowatt-hour, an increment would see the price shoot up to ₦140 per kilowatt-hour.
Joining President Tinubu’s administration this week are 20 federal commissioners for the National Population Census (NPC), three executive commissioners for the Nigerian Upstream Petroleum Regulatory Commission (NUPRC), an SSA on disability matters and an SSA on Citizenship and Leadership.
Uju Kennedy launches pink kekes to cushion female unemployment
On Wednesday, November 7, Minister for Women’s Affairs, Uju Kennedy, donated tricycles with pink interiors and sewing machines to women in Abuja. She announced the Pink Riders Transport Scheme, an initiative aimed to reduce unemployment and empower women across the country. According to her, the plan is to extend the scheme to other states in the country.
Nigerians have criticised Uju with many stating that there are better ways to empower women.
I fell in love with Editi Effiong’s Up North for many reasons, but what stood out the most was the visuals served on screen. It was mostly shot in Bauchi and would reshape some of the conservative views I held of northern Nigeria and its creative sector.
Fast forward to 2018, I met Fareeda, a Kaduna-state indigene who’d just completed NYSC in Lagos and was passing the time as a fashion designer till she got a 9-5. If Editi’s Up North changed my perception of the north, Fareeda gave me a complete reschooling. I was one of those Nigerians who mentally limited Nigeria’s art and fashion to places like Lagos and Abuja. Through her, I heard about the popping art and fashion scene in Kaduna that only seemed to evade mainstream.
It was the need to platform the young minds powering the northern region’s creative scene that inspired Ganiyah Sanni, a Kwara-born art curator and exhibition producer resident in Kaduna, to launch KAFART in 2019.
So, what’s KAFART about?
During a chat with Ganiyah, she told Zikoko how she created KAFART after noticing the creative atmosphere in the region, how young, talented artists creating amazing work got little to no recognition.
“There were a lot of young and emerging, professional and self-taught artists and fashion designers doing amazing work. One thing felt missing. There wasn’t a major platform that could bring these people together to showcase under one roof. I felt like there would be more impact if these people came together for greater publicity.”
Essentially, KAFART is the centre stage for creative minds in northern Nigeria to show up, show off and get their deserved recognition. Previous editions have featured exhibitors from as far North as Senegal, Mali, Gambia and Côte D’Ivoire.
The fourth edition, themed “Into the Art of Making”, seeks to “celebrate and highlight traditional African craftsmanship as it intersects contemporary art and fashion,” Sanni said.
There’ll be fashion
It’s the best place to witness the hottest fashion up north? Many young designers debut on the KAFART runway every year.
Two documentaries screenings
Kofar Mata Dye Pit by Niyi Olagunju explores the history of the Kano dye pits said to be the oldest in Africa and the last of their kind. Bogolan Textile by Madame Mariko explores the making of Mali’s handmade cotton textile.
Nok Terracotta artefacts in augmented reality
Source: Think Africa
This is your chance to learn more about the Nok terracotta sculptures popular for being some of the oldest artworks in the world and stolen by the British.
An exhibition from the Kaduna Museum
If you’re interested in learning more about Nigerian history, particularly Kaduna’s, the Kaduna Museum will showcase works and artefacts with rich stories behind them.
Panel discussions
According to convener, Ganiyah, “There’ll be panel discussions that will focus on thought-provoking topics.”
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And workshops too
Considering the theme, KAFART will come through with a bunch of on-site classes. Pottery and tie-dye, beading techniques and blacksmithing are just some of the sought-after skills attendees will learn about.
Burning Ram is just around the corner. If you haven’t gotten the memo, it’s not just an event; it’s a foodie’s dream come true.
We already told you to come with a wild appetite, but that’s not all. We’ve got some more interesting tips to help you navigate the culinary wonderland you’re about to witness on Saturday.
Class is in session, grab your note pads!
Have a mission
Remember, you’re coming to the mecca of meat, so there’ll be loads of fun activities to keep you occupied. As a true foodie, decide the experiences that are most important to you ahead of the day, to avoid stories like “When and where did that happen?”
Arrive early
Doors open at 12 p.m., and we don’t do African time. OG foodies also know arriving to the party early is the ONLY way to avoid missing out on any goodies.
Bring your takeout packs
We told you there’ll be lots to win, eat and drink. There’ll also be lots to take home, so bring your own takeout bowls, packs and bags to make this as convenient for you as possible.
Attend the grilling masterclass
How else can you convince your ops that you don’t just eat food, you also create mouth watering delicacies? Chez Ro will drop gems on the art of grilling the tastiest meat come Saturday.
And the suya tutorial
Imagine combining your new grilling knowledge with suya making, you’ll be unstoppable. But this will only be vivid imagination if you don’t make it a date with Chez Ro.
Remember to tease your tastebuds
We’ll be having some culinary Michael Jacksons at Burning Ram, so you better prepare to shock your mouths and bellies with all the not-so-popular meat recipes that’ll be up for free tasting.
Come with your clan
We’re not saying you cannot come alone o, but what’s better than one foodie? Three foodies eating together. Think about it. Nothing will be too expensive because y’all can split the bills.
And your tickets
But you already know all these cannot happen if you don’t have your tickets to Burning Ram. You still have time to fix up, so see you soon.
Days after comedian, Brain Jotter, helped a hawker named Eniola with ₦400k to leave the streets and launch her business, allegations have surfaced that she crossdressed to scam unsuspecting victims.
Here’s what we know about the situation so far.
What happened?
On Monday, November 6, 2023, Brain Jotter shared a video of his encounter with a female hawker on his way to a shoot. He saw her hawking bottled water on the streets of Lagos and was moved to help her.
During his interaction with the lady — identified as Eniola — Brain Jotter discovered that she was also a makeup artist. She provided her Instagram handle for the skit maker to verify her claims. Eniola also revealed that she moved to Lagos from Osun state in search of greener pastures.
Touched by her story, Brain Jotter asked what she needed to get off the streets and start her makeup business. After their conversation, he transferred ₦400k to her.
Brain Jotter also said he’d share Eniola’s account details with anyone willing to assist her.
Davido, Governor Adeleke, other Nigerians show support
Eniola’s story soon went viral on social media, with prominent Osun state indigenes, Davido and governor of the state, Ademola Adeleke, offering to help her.
“Thanks for sharing the video. Eniola’s dedication to making an honest living is inspiring. She embodies the qualities that represent Osun. I’ve directed my office to get in touch with her & explore possibilities to assist in advancing her education or improving her makeup skills,” Governor Ademola wrote on X.
Thanks for sharing the video, Eniola's dedication to making an honest living is inspiring. She embodies the qualities that represent Osun. I've directed my office to get in touch with her & explore possibilities to assist in advancing her education or improving her makeup skills.
When preparedness meets opportunities. @brainjotter__ did well. What I love about this video is her poise, ability to grab at opportunity, articulate, have a business that just needs support. She kept mentioning her Instagram handle, and wasn't shy to state how much she needs. ❤️ https://t.co/DeJJ6aV9iY
On Wednesday, November 8, anonymous blogger, Gistlover, reported that Eniola is a young man who’s been cross-dressing to allegedly scam unsuspecting victims. The blogger claimed Eniola also goes by Sultan and has been offered financial assistance numerous times in the past.
According to Gistlover, a group of individuals came together to assist him in 2022 by renting him an apartment in Ketu, Lagos, and buying some materials to kick off his makeup business. However, Eniola returned to the streets and continued hawking.
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Photos shared showed Eniola as a young man schooling in Osun state.
Source: Gistloverblog_mediahouse
Corroborating the blogger’s report, an Instagram user @cakesbyife recounted how she and a fellow baker, @auntyonicake, raised ₦600k and got an apartment for him earlier in 2023.
Source: Instagram/@cakesbyife
@auntyonicake shared a video on April 16, 2023, in which Eniola extended appreciation to everyone who contributed to helping him get a new home and tools to start his makeup business.
@auntyonicake also extended gratitude to everyone who came together to support Eniola.
“We would like to say a very big thank you to everybody who supported ENIOLA in one way or the other, you all have the hearts of Angels. The journey that began in anger and outrage ended up as a blessing for our dear Eniola because of you all.
“We cannot thank you enough for the special prayers, encouragement and hard-earned money. In this economy, we rose together and gave, for some, it was even your last card but from the bottom of your heart you gave joyfully just to take her out of the streets.”
Brain Jotter, Davido, back out
Shortly after Gistlover’s report, Brain Jotter deleted Eniola’s video from his Instagram page and expressed disappointment in an InstaStory post.
“If I tell you say I no tire, I dey lie. Just negodu, bro deceived us all. Some people have helped him before with over ₦600k. He lied. He is a man.”
Davido also called on his uncle to abort any plans to help Eniola.
Eniola’s story has stirred mixed reactions from Nigerians with some people noting that his choice to crossdress shouldn’t stop willing individuals from assisting him.
An individual who tackled Davido for calling on his uncle to “abort the mission” said:
“@davido Na Man, does that change anything tho? He is from Osun, he is challenged and d!sabled, he needs all the help he can get, he deserves a good life too!! He needs help!! Unless you and your uncle are clout chasers!!! The boy needs help!!!”
I don’t get why Nigerians are mad at Eniola. Why does it matter if he’s a girl or guy??
He wasn’t even begging in that video, he was selling his water jejely. And literally asked you all to patronize his business. Sooooooooooo what was wrong ?
People bant that funny Nigerian women can be counted on one hand, but these women don’t make some of the funniest content right now to not be credited for it.
Nigerian women are not funny, to make it worse they lack good sense of humor!
It doesn’t matter what the content of her discussion is, the hilariousness in it will choke you more than Abuja yam. Even if you’re not a listener of the I Said What I Said podcast she co-hosts with Feyikemi Abudu, one or two rib-cracking tweets from her X handle, @Jollz, must have crossed your timeline. She’s been funny AF before Twitter turned X — see evidence.
The live band gave us a version of “Wild Thoughts” that I think should be named “He do usually get wild thoughts” because the accent ehn
Born Maryam Apaokagi, Taaooma is currently one of the most popular faces in the Nigerian funny content creation sector — shoutout to her purple lace gown and peach “gele”. Her comedy explores family, parenting and adulthood. Her character is a Gen Z babe from a typical, strict Nigerian house, relating with her fictional family members, Tayo, Mama Tao and Daddy Tao, all played by Maryam. She’s built a large fanbase of almost one million YouTube subscribers off her funny content and collaborations.
Hauwa L
Hauwa Lawal, a.k.a. Hauwa L, is a digital content creator, but most prefer to call her a “goat”. She does funny storytelling that leaves you wondering what her thought process is like. Hauwa pieces the most absurd stories together and delivers them innocently.
Aderonke Adepoju has funny videos that date back to 2021. Her “Mummy Wale” and “Wale” characters are some of the funniest funny characters online right now. It centres on Wale, who introduces different potential wives to his mother, Mummy Wale. None of the relationships have worked out so far. I wonder what type of babe we’ll see next week. She also does some pretty hilarious Mummy G.O impressions.
You may know Chinasa for her popular YouTube show, Is This Seat Taken, which shows a bit of her funny side. But she actually does stand-up comedy as well. One of her classics is, “Adulthood is like auditioning for The Wedding Party, then finding yourself on the set of King of Boys.”
Lara Billionaire
A part of @larabillionaire’s X bio reads that she’s an upcoming mysterious babe — may be why her media is stacked with some of the most hilarious videos you’ll find on the internet. But also if you’ve seen her “terrible joke came to my head” tweets like her “parmesan cheese” one, you know her account is a straight follow. Even Layi Wasabi made a blockbuster internet comedy from one of Lara’s evergreen, funny threads.[ad][/ad]
Nobody:
Yoruba actors linking a babe: *pours her juice* so shey ibi bayi o divvicot lati get?
The first Swit Ope (born Ope Keshinro) video I saw was her recreation of Nigerian prophet FKA Indaboski’s sermon scene, in which she masterfully displayed his mannerisms. Her niche is religion and spirituality.
HAPPY SUNDAY. A woman with big waist wants to snatch Mummy Tony’s husband 😭😭😭 pic.twitter.com/BGlSbDZSoF
In a riot of colourful wigs, lipsticks, eyeliner and makeup, Gabrielle “Aunty Flora” Omozele satirises the day-to-day Nigerian experiences. Watch her back and forth with AI and decide yourself if she’s funny or not.
Chidera Onoh
Chidera is a medical student who’s into comedy, and she kills it. Her content revolves around school life and other life experiences. If you haven’t seen Africa’s Best Mosquito Killer, run to YouTube now.
Dammy Bubbles
You may know Damilola Bello, a.k.a Dammy Bubbles, by her X handle “@_dammyB_” — she’s a growth partner for Flutterwave popularly known amplify small businesses and her community that helps them achieve growth. But her second job is being a funny woman.
How can you leave me standing for almost 5 HOURSSSSSS and think you will win grammy.
Love Life is a Zikoko weekly series about love, relationships, situationships, entanglements and everything in between.
What was your first impression of each other?
Dave: I met him at a restaurant in 2017. One of my oldest friends from uni invited me and another school friend to have a meal together and catch up. He brought Kene and another friend too. I also came with a friend. That’s how we all became this large group of friends who are all close till today.
Kene: Not that close, but we hang out once in a while. I wasn’t even that close to the person who invited me at the time. We’d met about a month before that, on a project at work. But I thought he was cool, and I was trying to go out more.
Dave: My first memory of him was me thinking he was so small and yellow. He hardly spoke during the whole get-together.
But that memory was overshadowed by something else. When it was time to pay, the table agreed we’d split the bill equally. I was broke and had purposely not eaten much, so this was an unwelcome surprise.
Kene: He looked so conflicted. Everyone else was oblivious and just paid up and left. Then it was me, him and the guy who invited us all. I’ll always find it funny that he didn’t just disagree with the splitting idea from the beginning because he couldn’t afford it. That’s how me and the other guy had to cover his bill.
Dave: I wanted to, but I was too ashamed to call attention to myself like that.
How did that lead to a relationship?
Kene: Later that week, our mutual friend called me to apologise about it, but I didn’t think anything of it, so I told him, “It happens”. He said Dave was asking for my number to thank me directly. I told him he could share.
That same night, Dave called and was acting all shy. He asked for my account details so he could reimburse me, but I told him not to bother. When I noticed that this only made him feel worse, I relented and sent him. I got an alert about an hour after our call, and it was a lot more than what I paid for him.
Dave: I felt bad. He didn’t even know me. I was also touched because I know guys who’d never pay that money for an almost stranger.
After I sent the money, I thought I’d never hear from him again even though I wanted to get to know him more. So imagine my surprise when he texted me some days after and told me it was nice I sent him more than he paid, but I didn’t have to. My response was to ask him if he‘d like to watch an Arsenal match with me at a viewing centre that evening.
We met up an hour later and had a couple of beers while watching the game together.
Kene: He was very good company. After the match, we talked for a bit and went our separate ways.
We did that a few more times. Sometimes, with some of his other friends. Meeting up with him became a part of my life outside of work and occasionally hanging out with my “actual friends”. It became some double life like my alter ego playing at having a social life.
I looked forward to his texts inviting me to watch one sports game or the other.
Dave: This went on for three years. We didn’t talk about liking each other until 2020.
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Did COVID have anything to do with the eventual reveal?
Dave: Yes and no.
I knew I liked him a lot from the first day we met to watch that game. But I didn’t want to say anything because you can’t just show yourself like that in this country. I’m always extra careful, and honestly, most of my relationships have been with women.
Kene: I didn’t know he was gay or bi. I was absolutely sure he was straight. So I just suffered in silence, settling for his company, which I enjoyed. Then, he got together with his girlfriend in 2019. I was crushed. But it was all the confirmation I needed that he was straight.
Dave: I noticed him withdraw when I started dating my girlfriend. He was suddenly not always available to hang out and hardly came by my place. I started to miss him, but I let my feelings for my new babe overshadow that.
By September or October 2019, we weren’t speaking much except for sharing memes on IG or something related to a mutual friend. I wasn’t happy that we were drifting apart.
Kene: I felt like he gave me breakfast even though we weren’t dating. It almost felt like a heartbreak. One night, I even cried myself to sleep. So I couldn’t handle talking with him as a friend anymore.
Dave: The lockdown came, and I was lonely AF — my girlfriend was in another town. I started thinking about him a lot, so I called to check on him. That’s how we started calling each other every day just to gist and keep each other company.
Kene: I wanted to tell him I liked him this time, but the way I was scared, ehn? I didn’t want him to hate me because I was gay. I’d never felt that way before.
Who did the telling in the end?
Dave: Neither of us.
We started getting vulnerable, revealing way too much about our lives to each other. Like how little sex we were getting or how much we needed someone to hold. It started as a joke at first, just us teasing each other, but after a while, we both knew we were being sincere.
Kene: I started it. I got tired of wishing and waiting and just wanted something to give. The first time we met up after the lockdown was lifted, he gave me this big hug and a little peck on the side of my face. My whole heart screamed.
Then we went back to watching football matches and drinking beer together. My heart sank a little. One night at our regular lounge, I took the leap and invited him over to my place. I can’t even remember what I told him we’d do there, but he agreed to come with me.
Dave: That was the first night we spent together, and it was great.
If you want to share your own Love Life story, fill out this form.
Did you start dating officially after?
Dave: Yes. We had a long talk the next day and decided to commit.
Kene: But not exclusively. He still had his girlfriend.
Dave: We agreed to not go public, so I asked him if I had to break up with her, and he said no.
Kene: She really likes this guy, and I didn’t want to be the reason why he broke her heart. Three years later, I’ve learnt to live with it. Since we can’t be together as fully as we want, I don’t want to deprive him of a full relationship just because.
But don’t you feel deprived?
Kene: That’s the life. Not all of us can have the luck of a bisexual in Nigeria.
Dave: We’ll come for you o.
Kene: Sometimes, the secrecy adds to the spice of our sex life. The fact that no one in our circle knows about us makes me feel a little bold and reckless. It’s our special secret. However, I sometimes feel cheated when I see him and her together.
Does she, at least, know you guys are together?
*Silence*
Kene: I suspect she knows. But we’re also pretty discreet. We haven’t told any of our mutual friends, and it’s not like we steal kisses in the kitchen when she’s in the living room or anything like that.
Dave: We’ve talked about it. I know there’s no way to tell her now without breaking her heart and letting her down. But at the same time, I’m being the best possible boyfriend to her in every other way I can think of. That must count for something.
I’ve always been open to her about being bisexual, and she knows how close I am to him.
Kene: That’s why I think she already knows but doesn’t want to address it.
Buy your tickets here to the biggest meat festival in Nigeria, our very own Burning Ram, and stand a chance to win a RAM if you enter the raffle draw!
Aren’t you guys scared this might blow up in your faces?
Dave: A little.
Kene: Not really.
What do you fight about?
Kene: Being his side chick even though I came first.
Dave: We’ve never fought about that.
Kene: But we should.
Dave: Our first fight was over him scratching my car after I told him not to drive it out because he was a little tipsy. This was in 2019 or so. I’m just glad nothing happened to him.
Kene: He doesn’t like it when I’m on the phone for a long time. We fight about that a lot. But my work can be very demanding.
On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your Love Life?
Kene: Hmm. 8? 9? Something high. I only feel down when I find it hard to imagine our future together.
Dave: I’d say 8 or 7. I know I’m not being true to you or my girlfriend or even myself. I know I need to make a decision very soon as we’re not getting any younger.
Check back every Thursday by 9 AM for new Love Life stories here. The stories will also be a part of the Ships newsletter, so sign up here.
15 Nigerian films were selected to be screened at the 2023 edition of Kurzfilmtage Winterthur, Switzerland’s biggest short film festival running from November 7th to 12th.
Photo source: Michael Omonua
Besida
This Chuko Esiri-directed film first came out in 2018. It’s a short noir drama about the fragile relationship between two siblings. It was shot in Abraka (a town in Delta State) and produced by Arie Esiri.
Ixora
This is a 2022 queer love story about two female journalists, directed by Nigerian filmmakers, Nengi Nelson and Nosazemen Agbontaen, and produced by A ZENN Collective Production.
Egúngún (Masquerade)
This is a bilingual (English and Yoruba) film made by Olive Nwosu in 2021. It focuses on a young queer lady who returns to Nigeria for her mother’s funeral, where she discovers herself and purpose. Egúngún features Teniola Aladese, Elizabeth Momoh and Angel Peters.
Hello, Rain
The celebrity filmmaker of Nollywood’s Mami Wata, C.J. “Fiery” Obasi is back in the news for the International Kurzfilmtage selection of his 2018 short horror film, Hello, Rain. It’s about a scientist-witch who distributes power to herself and friends through tech and magic.
Harmattan
Muyiwa Awosika’s new psychological horror is about two army recruits who turn against each other in their bootcamp.
A Quiet Monday
Dika Ofoma’s new short film is a social drama that centres around two siblings who defied mandatory Monday sit-at-home during a social unrest in the eastern part of Nigeria. It stars Emmanuel Igwe and Uzoamaka Aniuonoh.
Do You See Me
Off the 2023 release of Bravo, Burkina!, Wale Oyejide wraps up production of his latest, Do You See Me, in time to screen at Kurzfilmtage Winterthur 2023.
You Matter to Me
This film captures how the parents of Immaculata Abba, the film director, experience joy even in the midst of grief or tension.
Memory XX
A romance that was once hot goes sour and memory is all that’s left as these two lovers rediscover themselves. It’s a 15-minute film by Ewoma Great Oro and Olamide Akinjare.
A Study On Love
Olayinka Eno Babalola explores love in this 2020 experimental documentary. You can watch it on her IG page.
Àlááfíà Ni
“Àlááfíà” means “peace” in Yorùbá, and this film about the life of Lagosians, explores the internal serenity that prevails regardless of trials and tribulations. Tobi Onabolu wrote this film and co-directed it with Sonia Irabor.
Aje and Bruja
Two powerful African mothers join forces to fight and torture a female serial killer. Aje and Bruja came from the stables of Nosa Igbinedion in 2022.
I Am An Easy One to Forget
This 10-minute Sonia Irabor film came out in 2021. It’s a tale of a guy who shut himself away from contact with people, staying awake to overthink the parallel between reality and illusion.
The Nightmare on Broadstreet
Ayo Lawson and Femi Johnson made this film that follows five friends who met to hang out at a Freedom Park museum then ended up running from a masquerade.
Lizard
Akinola Davies Jr. released Lizard in 2020. In it, an eight year old kid with the supernatural ability to sense danger discovers the underworld of a Lagos megachurch.
Rehearsal
This film follows the art of staging miracle healings. The protagonists carry out, improve and scrap different formats. Rehearsal is about church, theatre, faith and credibility.
ICYMI, Burning Ram is happening live in Lagos this Saturday. Are you coming? Yes or yes? Get your ticket here.
In case you haven’t heard, Zikoko is throwing a festival on Saturday, November 11, and meat is the celebrant. Think of all meat’s family members — suya, grilled turkey, asun, barbecue, dambu nama — they’ll all be present.
The question is, will you be there to bear witness?
If your answer is yes, the next step to premium enjoyment is to have these things because you’ll need them at the venue.
Tickets
Yes, you’ll need tickets to experience the true magic we’ve created, and if you don’t already have one, you’re wrong. But don’t worry, you can still fix up and grab one for you and your clan here.
Fire outfits
It’s a food festival, but if you know just one thing about Zikoko parties, you’d know the boys and girlies come through with the fashion. Bonus point: Go for stain-resistant colours.
Umbrella or raincoat
Lagos weather has been giving rainy season vibes and it has a thing for weekends.
Bring sunscreen
Burning Ram is an outdoor event, and since we’re begging the sun to come out to play, we might as well come prepared for it. Plus, have you seen all the outside activities we have lined up?
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A wild appetite
We can’t stress this enough, but believe us when we say there’ll be lots to eat and drink at Burning Ram.
Gather your coins
You’ll be attending the mecca of meat on Saturday, and you know what they say about good soup and quality money? Exactly. Our vendors will have the tastiest grills, juiciest burgers and wickedest cocktails, so you better prepare to spend that money.
Content creation kit
Everyone is a content creator. It’s just a question of “When will you blow?” But how will you blow if you don’t come to the biggest meat festival with your phone, power bank and selfie stick? Prepare to flood social media with all your hard work using the official hashtag #BurningRam2023.
Still haven’t gotten your Burning Ram tickets? Help us to help you by clicking this link.
Temi Otedola has had us in varying degrees of “God, when?” and “God, abeg” since we caught her “A day in my life” videos. Even though we have to do hard labour for God knows how long to get there, at least, we now know how to act like a billionaire, thanks to her.
We compiled some of her TikTok videos to give you the tutorial, and to be honest, you’ll need a jotter to take notes.
Temi Otedola said one of her favourite things to do is to open her packages from Amazon, and I screamed in abandoned carts and delivery charges. God, abeg.
Temi Otedola, who changes her hairstyle every three to four days, said her toxic trait is never liking her hair after she makes it. It really be things with rich people, but I’ll get it someday (when I’m rich!).
Plan a visit to grandma on your billionaire daddy’s birthday
There’s zero to no stress at rich people owambes, and that’s why Temi and her sisters could still head out to a restaurant after, instead of going home to crash till Monday morning.
In December 2022, the maiden edition of TekArt premiered at Primrose Center, Ikeja, hosting over 400 participants with a range audience of young adult techies, artists, fashionistas, models and musicians. The highlight of the event was the model runway to the soothing music performance from fast-growing music sensation, Kemuel.
This year, 2023, TekArt returns to Lagos to host over 2000 participants in two days, December 1st and 2nd, at Nextthought Creative Hub, opp Elegushi Beach Resort, Lagos. This two-day extravaganza has been mapped out to host the best tech and art activities in the 21st century: tech panels, another model runway, a fashion pop-up, robotics and art exhibitions with music performances.
TekArt has confirmed multiple panellists including Amazing Klef, Pentifier, Wonu Osikoya, The Pamilerin, Salem King, alongside other top tech and art creatives.
From the stables of their room, teaching design courses, to hosting the biggest events in Lagos, Samuel Adedoyin AKA Psam, is breaking the limits of the new generation alongside his cofounder, Gabriel Odili, and other team members, Michael Oluwadipe Kunle, David Anointing and Olamide Voixe.
The big question among young adults in Lagos is, “WHERE WILL YOU BE ON DECEMBER 1ST AND 2ND?”
I’ve been watching snippets of Reminisce’s Zero Conditions Podcast interview on X. Then I finally succumbed and spent one hour, and fifty minutes of my life watching just how ridiculously funny and entertaining the rapper is, and I have no regrets. Y’all won!
Now what did I find out about Alaga Ibile? Let’s see.
Reminisce was fighting for his life with “Kako Bi Chicken”
It might have been a bop at the time, but what we didn’t know was that SAPA was a serious fuelling engine. In Alaga’s words “If to say that song no blow, I for don off”.
He’s a cool dad with a moderate dash of “Africanness”
Gentle parenting, AKA naughty corner and “you’re grounded” are foreign concepts to Alaga. For context, he told his daughters “No cakes” during their last birthday and took them to an orphanage to see beyond their bubble.
It was nice knowing Nollywood but that’s over
I’ve been highkey expecting to see Reminisce make a return in some of the big Nollywood titles we’ve seen this year. But now I know it won’t happen. Alaga said he’s been there, done that and moved on.
“I’m not acting again; I’m not interested anymore.”
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A bromance with Olamide
Not gonna lie, watching Reminisce dote on Olamide made me blush a little. Alaga said “He’s a cool kid; very respectful”, and was a major push for him to release his last project, ATGS Vol 1.
He was a footwear plug for UNILAG students
To be honest, it shouldn’t be news that Alaga is an all-round hustler. But if you didn’t already know, he once sold footwear to the “rich kids” of UNILAG.
It’s family over everything here
Here’s the gist: Reminisce had no idea his daughters’ room had been repainted for two years, even though he stayed in the same house with them. That was a wakeup call to step back and prioritize family over fame.
He loves “Kukukukuku” AKA Amapiano, but…
I lost my shit for five minutes straight when Alaga described amapiano as “Kukukukuku”.
Our man attended Obi’s House and had to beg DJ Obi to put the spin on street jamz because he couldn’t deal with the amapiano line-up.
He genuinely cares about men
Alaga said “men go through a lot”, and I agree. But that’s not the best part of the gist. Turns out he recorded “Ponmile” to highlight some of the things men go through in relationships.
Therapy where?
For a self-styled “meninist”, Reminisce has never had any reason to visit a therapist, and I find it sus. Our man said it’s a concept for the “new generation”. Instead, he takes his health and stress management seriously.
Meanwhile, you’ll have your fill of grilled, peppered, fried meat and many more at Zikoko’s meat festival on November 11. Get your Burning Ram ticket here.
Financial transparency in relationships is everything. There’s nothing more heartbreaking than finding out the LOYL isn’t being honest with you when it comes to money.
Before you spend half the relationship giving freely and receiving excuses, these are signs to help you know they’re just plain selfish (because they don’t want to give) or manipulative (because they still want to borrow or get you to spend on them).
No bank alerts on their phones
In this world of “savings or current” everywhere you turn? There’s no way they aren’t receiving alerts. They’re either deleting or got their bank to stop sending. This can only mean one thing.
They never release their ATMs
Picture this. They need money, have no plans to go to the ATM, but the moment you offer to hep them withdraw, they squeeze an impromptu ATM run into their schedule.
They complain about money before you ask
It’s called “counter-billing”. After all, you’ll have to be an insensitive partner to ask for more money when “My dear, they’ve not paid salary and the month ended two weeks ago”.
They never come home with receipts
I know it’s giving team #SaveTheEarth, but think about it, if you don’t see the receipt, how will you know how much they spent? Or that they even spent money at all.
Multiple personal bank accounts
Two to three bank accounts is understandable, but five? Six? Something is off, and they’re probably stashing millions in one of those accounts.
They avoid money talk
It’s one of two things. One: They don’t have money and feel too sad to confront their reality. Two: They have money but don’t want you to know about it.
They never withdraw in your presence
They avoid the ATM like a plague whenever you’re around. In fact, you’ve never seen them use the facility. In case you don’t know why, it’s because they don’t want to part with some of that cash when you see it.
Now that you know, what’s the next course of action?
Talk
Because sometimes our feelings get the best of us and we could be jumping to conclusion. Have a conversation to highlight your worries, and pay attention to how they respond because that’ll determine your next move.
Memorise their salary date
Infor l’eyan fin fo. When you know their pay day, no excuse they come up with will hold water.
Revenge
This should be your last resort, when you’ve seen they have no intention to change their evil ways. If they go low, go lower than the snake in a ditch.
Meanwhile, you’ll have your fill of grilled, peppered, fried meat and many more at Zikoko’s meat festival on November 11. Get your Burning Ram ticket here.
Every week, Zikoko seeks to understand how people move the Naira in and out of their lives. Some stories will be struggle-ish, others will be bougie. All the time, it’ll be revealing.
What’s your earliest memory of money?
As a child, I always thought money was just available. My dad was very generous, so all I had to do was ask. My mum, on the other hand, was the complete opposite. You had to beg, lie and cry to get anything from her.
What did your parents do for money?
My dad imported and exported cash crops, and was hardly home. My mum was a stay-at-home wife till I was about 14 years old. She basically took care of me and my younger siblings.
What was growing up like, financially?
It was very up and down. Since my dad dealt with seasonal crops, he made most of his money around harvest time, which was once a year. Other times, there’d be no money, and things would get really bad.
Our life was like that: Money today, no money tomorrow. But when there was money, there was really money. Like flying to meet your dad on vacation money.
When there was no money, there was really no money. I remember returning to boarding secondary school one time, and my mum couldn’t afford the transport fare. We had to take soólè — a cheaper, but more dangerous alternative.
How did that shape your opinions about money growing up?
I had a fear of financial insecurity and instability, and it’s stayed with me till adulthood. I became very money-conscious early. It’s the reason I started working at 14 years old.
Your first job. Tell me about it
During the three-month break between SS 2 and SS 3, I worked as an attendant at a betting shop beside my mum’s provision store. My pay was ₦10k in the first month, then it increased to ₦12k.
What were you spending money on?
Data, snacks and those ₦50 Lantern storybooks. I also had a bank account my dad had created so he could send me money without my mum intercepting it, but I hardly saved.
Ushering was the next job I did. I started immediately after I entered the university in 2013, but my first gig was a scam.
What happened?
I applied to an ushering agency via WhatsApp and sent my pictures. They said I’d been accepted but needed to pay a ₦5k application fee.
Bank transfers weren’t popular then, so I made the deposit at the bank and sent the picture of the deposit slip together with my picture, name and details to an email address they provided. They sha blocked me, and I never heard back from them again.
Omo. Did you try another agency after that?
Yes. Thankfully, the next one was legit. I started working most weekends, earning between ₦5k to ₦8k per event. I did approximately three events a month and could make anything between ₦20k to ₦30k. The highest I ever got from ushering was ₦20k for a politician’s one-day event.
How long did you do the ushering jobs for?
Till 300 level. It was my major source of income because things were bad again at home, and my parents still had to look out for my siblings. While my parents handled my school fees and sent a ₦30k monthly allowance, I took responsibility for all my other needs.
Why did you stop ushering?
I started dating a generous man.
Now I need the details
We met in 2015. He was a doctor who worked not too far from my uni, and I typically spent my weekends with him. Since my ushering gigs were during weekends, the work just died a natural death.
He gave me money for the first time after we spent a weekend together. I got home and found an envelope with ₦50k inside in my bag. Subsequently, he just started giving me random money and buying me food. It made my life easier; I didn’t have to ask for money.
One time, I was with his debit card when I saw a ₦10k bag I liked and just paid for it. I remember asking myself why I thought it was okay to spend his money without his permission, but he didn’t even flinch when I told him. We dated for a year before our relationship ended in epic breakfast. But I don’t want to get into that.
Ouch
After I finished uni in 2017, I went for youth service and lived on the ₦19,800 allowance plus other small money I made for writing short articles for a German-based LMS.
How did you get into writing?
Heartbreak brought out my creative side. I wrote dark pieces about unrequited love, depression, family and all that jazz. I even had three journals at a point. My friend saw it and was like, “Why not make money with this thing?”
So, she linked me up with the LMS. She also worked there, and they sent my payments to her account as well. Payment was per word, and we had targets — usually 3k to 5k words. The amount I got at the end of the month depended on how well I met my targets. My very first salary was ₦73k. Subsequent months ranged between ₦20k to ₦70k.
₦20k?
It was a very unstable place. If you didn’t meet your targets, you could wake up to find that you’ve been logged out, and you have to beg for another account. When that happens, you lose any progress you’ve made up till that point, and your hours start counting again. I worked there till service ended in 2018. I think my last salary was ₦48k.
What did you do next?
I studied a medical course at uni, so I decided to try out a hospital internship. I got a year-long internship at a general hospital in early 2019. My monthly stipend was ₦91k/month, which was a relief coming from the unstable LMS job. However, the hospital was really the ghetto. It was the experience that helped me realise I didn’t want a medical career.
What made you come to that decision?
While interning, I happened to be part of a general meeting with senior medical professionals from all over. I remember looking down at all their worn-out shoes and deciding I didn’t want to wear those kinds of shoes. These were seasoned professionals who had been at it for over 10 years. That couldn’t be my life.
I feel you. Was it just the shoes, though?
It was mostly that. Then, I had a friend who joined the hospital’s human resources department. I’d hang out with her in the HR department and admire the work they did. I liked mathematics in school, and they handled a lot of data, which I loved.
Then, another friend introduced me to an HR/admin officer, and I started unofficially helping him with data entry and documentation. Around that time, the departmental secretary went on maternity leave, so I helped with documentation while she was away. At that point, I just liked the work and knew I didn’t want to do the course I studied. I didn’t have a clear career plan.
What did you do after the internship ended?
I’d started dating the friend who introduced me to the HR officer before my internship ended in June 2020. He was also generous, so when my salary stopped, he put me on a ₦50k monthly allowance. Sometimes, it was ₦150k, and after we’d been together for a year, it went up to ₦200k.
I spent most of my time with him, so I didn’t look for a job. However, I started a bedsheet business in November 2020.
What inspired that?
I loved buying bedsheets for my space. One day, I went sourcing fabrics for a new one. I put a poll up on WhatsApp to see which fabrics worked best for men and women, and my friends began to show interest. So, I just decided to start selling.
My boyfriend gave me ₦300k as initial capital, but I started with ₦150k and kept the rest. I bought 16 bedsheets for a start and sold the whole thing in eight days. I made a ₦2k profit on each. I also sold some duvets for a ₦3k profit.
But December was when I really made money. Someone contacted me to supply sheets and duvets for his mansion. The contract was worth ₦200k, and I made an ₦80k profit.
Love to hear it. So, the business was a hit?
Somewhat. Sales were mostly from my family and friends, so it wasn’t that regular. But the business was just so I could have something to do — my boyfriend regularly sent me money. Because of that, I could save most of the salary plus ₦198k COVID allowance I received from the hospital towards the end of my internship. By the end of 2020, I had almost ₦700k in savings. But then, I went to invest it.
It’s already sounding like it didn’t end well
Before then, I had made a smaller ₦200k investment with an agribusiness platform in October 2020. It was a year-long investment, and I was supposed to cash out ₦240k after maturity. There was no issue with that one.
But then, in 2021, I invested ₦800k in one popular forex company and was supposed to cash out ₦1.2m after nine months. They even had an app where you could see your money grow. But the time to cash out came, and I couldn’t click the “withdraw money” button. At one point, the app stopped working. I sent emails and tried customer support with no luck. It was when I went to social media and saw other people wailing that I knew it was gone. I cried ehn.
Omo. I’m so sorry
It was extra painful because I didn’t tell my boyfriend. I wanted my “financial wisdom” to be a surprise to him. It felt like I had nothing to show for the business capital he’d given me.
Also, I wasn’t sure of the future of the business. My boyfriend cheated earlier in April 2021, and while we were still together, things were going downhill. It made me start rethinking the business. He was my primary source of income, and I realised I needed something more sustainable. I was ready to leave, but I was also scared of not having money and being unable to feed— the age-long fear of financial insecurity. It prompted me to look for a job.
How —
Wait. Did I mention I made another stupid investment in 2021?
OMG
This one was with a family friend. He was the accountant and also quite religious, and I believed him when he assured me it was legit. So, I put in close to ₦600k. It was supposed to last six months, but the site crashed after the third month. 2021 was essentially my year of fake investments. I lost ₦1.4 million in total.
Yikes. How was the job search going, though?
I was applying for random jobs and living on online hiring platforms. I used the time to brush up on my CV and LinkedIn with stuff I learned from free recruitment and interview training sessions online.
I also read a lot about customer success, human resources, and even data analysis; practically anything that’d make the transition into related fields easy. I also did some HR courses on Coursera — it was free because I applied for financial aid. After taking the courses, I’d add them to my LinkedIn profile. But I was also depressed and was crying all the time.
Finally, in March 2022, I landed two offers: an HR data analyst role in Ibadan and a Talent acquisition specialist role in Lagos.
Which one did you go for?
I lived in Ibadan, and the HR data analyst role was going to pay ₦150k. The Lagos role was ₦50k. The Ibadan job was more reasonable, but I thought I needed a change of environment to beat the depression, so I took the Lagos job. It’s definitely one of the craziest things I’ve ever done in my life. By this time, I’d broken up with my boyfriend, but we remained friends.
I moved in with a friend at Gbagada — the office was at Surulere. I still had about ₦500k in savings (including the ₦240k cash-out from the agribusiness investment). So, as a soft babe, I used a cab from one of these ride-hailing apps on my first day. It cost ₦3,700. That’s when I knew Lagos wasn’t for the fainthearted. I saw people hustling for buses while returning home that day, and one lady’s skirt even tore. The ghetto.
Not you slandering Lagos
I couldn’t keep up with cabs or hustle for buses, so I moved out of that friend’s house after two days and went to live with another friend in Surulere. The plan was to stay for two weeks while I looked for a house.
But within a week, the friend started asking about my plans to get a place. I was aggressively house hunting, but it was difficult doing that while doing a very stressful full-time job, coupled with Lagos agent’s wahala.
One week and five days into staying with her, the friend sent me a text on a Thursday evening, saying her mum was visiting over the weekend and I needed to leave.
Darn. What did you do?
I just started crying. I was at work, and my boss saw me and gave me the rest of the week off to sort out my house situation and resume work on Tuesday. Luckily, I found a mini flat in Surulere the very next day. It was supposed to cost ₦800k, and I only had ₦500k. So, I called my ex, and he sent me ₦500k.
I ended up paying just ₦500k — the landlord decided not to collect the agent and agreement fees. I then spent about ₦300k to furnish it. I was settling in pretty well until I lost my job in May 2022.
How come?
The job had crazy expectations. I was hired to do HR, but I also did customer service, sales and a little of everything. We also did recruitments and would be given extremely short deadlines to submit candidate profiles.
My boss had given me and one other colleague three days to submit some profiles. We couldn’t meet up, and by Monday morning, I opened my mail in the office to find a termination letter. No one said anything to me, and I stayed till 5 p.m. and left. The next morning, the HR had the audacity to call me to ask why I wasn’t at work because I had a “notice period”.
Mad o. So back to job hunting?
It was tougher this time around because my savings were depleting fast. By June, I had just ₦25k and decided to sell my laptop. I told a friend that I wanted to sell it, and she got so upset that things were that bad. The next thing I saw was her post on WhatsApp: “Isn’t there anyone who needs an HR officer in their company?”
Aww
That post landed me a ₦171k/month HR role. I resumed in July.
That must’ve been a relief
It was. I later discovered I was lowballed because I didn’t negotiate, but it was still life-changing money for me.
I’d started sending ₦20k home as black tax since my internship days — even when I was jobless. The needs from home were increasing because my dad was fully out of business, and it felt good to earn money that could take care of needs as they arose.
Were you spending on yourself at all?
I usually sent ₦70k home in a month, so I’d split the remaining ₦100k into two: ₦50k to my savings and ₦50k to take me through the month. It was tough, but I learned to manage.
In December 2022, I started getting HR gigs from someone on LinkedIn. Mostly payroll, CV, employee handbooks and others. The gigs gave me an additional ₦100k monthly, so I decided the whole thing would go straight into my savings account that I didn’t touch.
How was work going?
I resigned in March 2023. It was the period when transportation costs became too much to bear, and the company refused to go hybrid or give me a salary raise. My mental health couldn’t take it, and I could no longer function well. So, I left even though I had nothing else lined up. But I got another job six days after my notice period elapsed in April.
Impressive
It was a real lifesaver. It was an HR manager role for ₦350k/month — a 100% increase from my previous salary.
It gets crazier. In July, the company merged with a fintech company, and I got promoted to HR manager for the parent company, and my salary increased to ₦910k.
How did you react to learning about your new salary?
It’s a very dramatic story. When I saw the alert, I checked the payroll. The person whose name was next to mine had the same salary, so I thought it was a sorting mistake and I was paid another person’s salary.
The salary came in at midnight, as it usually does because my boss doesn’t live in Nigeria. When I saw ₦910k, I couldn’t touch the money. I sent a quick WhatsApp text to my boss explaining the error, and she just said, “It’s not an error. You’ll be briefed tomorrow. Goodnight”. Ah. How was I supposed to sleep that night?
LOL
I concluded it was probably a performance bonus, but it turned out to be a pay raise. It felt unreal.
What does this rapid income growth mean for your spending habits?
I still live the same lifestyle. A lot of my income goes into black tax. Two of my younger siblings are now in uni, and they’re sort of my responsibility since my dad went and married another wife.
Earning more has made my life a bit better. Dresses I used to think were too expensive don’t seem that costly now. But I’m being conscious about my spending. I want to sponsor my siblings’ education in a way that they don’t have to depend on me.
While that fear of financial insecurity has reduced, it’s still there. I work for a fintech after all, and anything can happen. But at least now, I can save better.
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How much do you currently have saved up?
₦2m. Since I started earning ₦910k, I have saved ₦600k every month. Right now, I have two savings goals: A car to beat my daily cab costs and an apartment on the Island for proximity to work.
But I’m also saving so I can have something to fall back on if I ever get laid off. I’m even still job hunting and wouldn’t mind a remote offer, so I can do both jobs together. I want to move to a job that’s more stable, so I don’t have to worry about being laid off and losing my source of income.
Have you considered how much the car and apartment would cost?
I want a luxury car which will cost about ₦8m. An apartment would likely cost me ₦2m, but it’s a secondary need. The car is more important.
Are you still considering investments these days?
I’ve sworn off them. I’m so scared now that I can’t even put money in these fintech savings and investment apps. I have about ₦40k in Nigerian stocks and $180 in US stocks, but that’s about it. I’ve not gotten to the point where I can put my money somewhere other than traditional banks. I prefer to see it every day.
What do your regular monthly expenses look like?
Curious. What amount monthly would cancel the financial instability fear?
My short-term goal is ₦1.5m/monthly. That way, I can save ₦1m monthly and live on ₦500k. I hope to get that by 2024.
Long-term, I’d like to earn in dollars. Preferably $2k/month and above. Of course, I know I need to constantly develop myself to remain relevant if I want to get there.
How would you describe your relationship with money?
It’s been very volatile, but it’s beginning to mature. I’m now very strict with savings. Even when I had my birthday recently, I drew up a budget to outline how much I could use to spoil myself. I still fear financial instability, but I’ve grown more confident in my skills. I know that as long as I have these skills, I can always still make money.
How would you rate your financial happiness on a scale of 1-10?
6. I’m earning good money now, but I haven’t saved enough. I want to get to ₦10m in savings. I also still have a lot of heavy black taxes, and I’ll only be really happy when my siblings are less dependent on me because they have jobs.
If I lose my job today, I’m not the only one who’ll go hungry; my siblings will too. So that knowledge means I never fully settle or have peace of mind. At least, until they’re independent.
If you’re interested in talking about your Naira Life story, this is a good place to start.
Healthy babies born after a miscarriage, stillbirth or neonatal death are commonly called “rainbow babies” — a sign of hope after a terrible loss.
But what’s parenting really like after losing a baby? Nasara* (30) talks about losing her first baby due to medical negligence, experiencing anxiety throughout her second pregnancy and why she considered abortion.
Nothing prepares you for losing a baby. From the moment you see the second line on the pregnancy test strip, you likely begin to imagine what your baby would look like. You never think you might bury them soon.
Of course, that usually only applies when you want the baby. And I did want the baby.
I’d gotten married to my husband six months before I saw my first double line on a pregnancy test strip. We didn’t actively try to have a baby, but we didn’t do anything to prevent it either. Plus, we’re a Nigerian couple living in Nigeria where the prayer you’d hear at your wedding is, “In nine months time, you’ll hear the sound of a baby.” So, we were happy. Our little family was increasing.
It was a fairly normal pregnancy, complete with weird cravings. I had never tasted Nzu (edible chalk) before, but suddenly, I was consuming it by the bucket. I had some morning (read as all day) sickness in my first trimester, but I glowed throughout the following two semesters. My husband and I even placed a bet to see who the baby would look like.
Then labour came, and it was the worst day of my life.
My husband took me to the hospital that evening when I started feeling the contractions. The midwife checked me and said, “You’re about 2 cm dilated. Go back home and return when the pain becomes too much.” Go back home, how? I thought, surely, she must be joking. She wasn’t, so my husband and I decided to wait in the car.
About an hour later, the space between contractions seemed closer and more intense, so we went back. She said I’d only progressed to 4 cm and suggested we just go home and return the next morning.
My husband and I looked at each other and silently agreed we were going nowhere. He dropped the hospital bag we’d packed in a hurry and, raising his voice, insisted I get admitted to a bed.
After some shouting, they finally agreed, and I was moved to a bed. What followed was a six-hour wait. The contractions weren’t progressing, and the midwife hardly came to check on me. We got nervous.
When it hit the 12-hour mark, and I was still just 6 cm dilated, I started to panic from the pain and worry. The midwife put me on a drip, which I later found out was to induce the labour. The pain tripled, like something was ripping me from the inside. I entered active labour soon enough, but that’s when things became obviously wrong.
I laboured for almost a day, but the baby refused to come out. My husband suggested a caesarean section, but they brushed him off.
When I eventually had the baby, it was in distress over the prolonged labour. It also needed oxygen, which the hospital didn’t have. My baby died in the ambulance on transfer to a general hospital for oxygen. I never even set eyes on it, but a part of me died that day.
It was after my baby died that we found out they brushed off the caesarean section request because the doctor wasn’t “on seat” or responding to calls. Our family suggested suing the hospital for medical negligence, but my husband and I just wanted to go home and try not to drown in the sorrow.
The sorrow engulfed us for the next two years.
One bright Sunday morning, I took a home pregnancy test out of curiousity. I’d been ill for a while and wasn’t sure when my period was due. I had spare test strips at home, so I thought to just rule out pregnancy. The double lines on the strip stared back at me in confirmation. But instead of joy, all I felt was fear.
What if I lost this baby too? Was I ready to go through nine months of hope only to have my heart shattered all over again?
When I told my husband, he was over the moon… until I told him I wanted an abortion. Some part of me was convinced I’d lose this baby too, and wanted to do it before I got too emotionally attached. My husband was horrified, but no matter how much he tried to convince me, I was adamant. It took my family’s intervention to get me to abandon all abortion talk.
I was still scared out of my mind. I dreamt about losing my baby throughout the pregnancy. I slept on pregnancy and baby websites, reading up on things to do and what to avoid. I lost my first baby due to medical negligence, but I didn’t want to take any chances on my own end.
I was also wary of registering for antenatal care with just any hospital. I googled different facilities and was even considering moving states to stay with a friend just so I could be close to a hospital I’d seen online with glowing reviews. I eventually settled for a general hospital because there was a greater possibility they’d have more than one doctor on call. They couldn’t all be unavailable at the same time.
By the start of the third trimester, I’d slipped into depression. Despite my husband’s and family’s best efforts, I was convinced something bad was going to happen. I put myself on compulsory bed rest and refused to do any other thing. Luckily, I run my own online business, so I could take a break.
Then delivery day came. We chose an elective caesarean section, but I was still prepared for the worst.
Ironically, the whole experience was a breeze. I was given a spinal block, so while I couldn’t feel the pain, I was awake when my baby was brought out into the world. I still remember that moment — holding my baby and telling myself this was real life, not a dream. I had my rainbow baby. All the pain from my previous loss would disappear.
It didn’t quite happen like that.
I’m not sure why, but I went into postnatal depression. Healing from a major surgery and dealing with a newborn affected me mentally. I struggled to connect with my baby, and I couldn’t be happy because then I’d feel like I was forgetting the baby I lost.
I’m grateful my husband noticed and encouraged me to see a therapist.
It’s been a year since I had my rainbow baby, and I’m in a better head space now. I now understand that having this baby will never erase the thoughts of my angel baby, and I’m at peace with that. My angel baby has a permanent space in my heart, and my earth baby is the one I get to pour all my love on.
After the first three months of therapy, I felt like someone turned on the “motherhood” tap in me. Every day, I gush in amazement when I look at my child or when they do something funny. When they grow older, I’ll tell them about their angel sibling.
I’m still navigating motherhood, but I’m content to take it a day at a time.
*Name has been changed for anonymity.
We’re bringing you the biggest meat festival on November 11, and it’ll be THE food experience of a lifetime. Come enjoy the juiciest suya, grills, and bask in the Nigerian meat culture at Burning Ram. Get tickets here.
2023 was a good year for Nigerian music. The “old cats” continued on their streak of global ascension; the new cats made their marks in uncharted territories. And there’s been a surplus amount of bragging rights for fans all round.
As the year winds down, we highlight the important milestones that pushed the “afrobeats to the world” agenda in 2023.
Tems’ Oscar nomination
On January 25, Tems became the first Nigerian artist to be nominated for an Academy Award AKA the Oscars. She was nominated alongside Rihanna for her work on “Lift Me Up”, an original soundtrack for Ryan Coogler’s Black Panther: Wakanda Forever.
Tems’ Grammy win
On February 5, 2023, the hitmaker made history again as the first female afrobeats artist to win a Grammy award. Tems bagged the iconic award for her performance in Future’s “Wait For U”. She won Best Melodic Rap Performance alongside Future and Drake.
Burna Boy, Tems and Rema’s NBA Halftime Show
On February 19, 2023, the trio performed at the American National Basketball Association (NBA) All-Star halftime show in Salt Lake City, Utah, making them the first Nigerians to grace the stage. Burna took the stage first, performing “It’s Plenty”, “Alone” and “Last Last”. Rema came next performing “Calm Down” and “Holiday”, and Tems rounded up the show with a medley of “Crazy Tings”, “Free Mind”, “Essence” and “Higher”.
Davido releases “Timeless”
After taking a hiatus in 2022, OBO released his fourth studio album, “Timeless”, on March 31, 2023. The album broke multiple first-day and week records across major streaming platforms.
Tiwa Savage performs at King Charles III Coronation
On May 6, 2023, African Bad Gyal Tiwa made Nigerians proud as she became our country’s first artist to perform at the coronation of a British monarch. Tiwa performed “Keys to the Kingdom” at King Charles’ coronation.
Burna Boy sells out London Stadium
On June 3, 2023, Burna Boy made history as the first African artist to headline a stadium concert in the UK. 60,000 fans turned up to watch the African Giant perform at the popular London Stadium.
Grammy introduces Best African Music Performance category
On June 13, 2023, the American Recording Academy officially announced the inclusion of a Best African Music Performance category to recognise and celebrate the best talents on the continent. The category will cover but is not limited to “Afrobeat, Afro-fusion, Afro Pop, Afrobeats, Alté, Amapiano, Bongo Flava, Genge, Kizomba, Chimurenga, High Life, Fuji, Kwassa, Ndombolo, Mapouka, Ghanaian Drill, Afro-House, South African Hip-Hop and Ethio Jazz genres.”
Burna Boy sells out Citi Field Stadium
On July 8, 2023, Odogwu gave his fans even more bragging rights after he sold out the 41,000-capacity Citi Field Stadium in NYC, USA.
Wizkid receives BRIT Billion Award
On July 31, 2023, Wizkid became the first African artist to receive the esteemed BRIT Billion Award. The award is a special recognition from the British Phonographic Industry (BPI) to artists who achieve over one billion digital streams in the UK.
MTV VMAs adds Best Afrobeats category
On August 8, 2023, the MTV Video Music Awards (VMAs) announced a new category for afrobeats songs. The category, Best Afrobeats, had Rema, Ayra Starr, Burna Boy, Davido and Libianca as first-time nominees.
On September 10, 2023, the rave lord made history after his “Calm Down” remix with Selena Gomez reached a billion streams on digital streaming platform, Spotify. Rema became the first African artist to hit the milestone.
Rema wins first Afrobeats MTV VMA
On September 13, 2023, Rema and Selena Gomez became the first winners of the MTV VMAs newly introduced category, Best Afrobeats. The duo won for their hit collaboration, “Calm Down” remix.
Davido breaks record with ₦100 million “Feel” video
After months of anticipation, Davido released the official music video for “Feel”, a hit song off his “Timeless” album, on October 3, 2023. The music video was directed by TG Omori and is the first Afrobeats music video to be shot with a ₦100 million budget.
Rema performs at Ballon D’or
On Monday, October 30, 2023, Rema, became the first African artist to perform at the prestigious Ballon d’Or ceremony. He performed his hit song, “Calm Down”, at the ceremony in Paris, France.
Speaking of records and milestones, you’ll have your fill of grilled, peppered, fried meat and many more at Zikoko’s meat festival on November 11. Get your Burning Ram ticket here.
On Tuesday, November 1, the Federal Government commenced rehabilitation of the third mainland bridge in Lagos state. Minister of Works, David Umahi, inspected the 11.8-kilometer-long bridge on Saturday, October 28, ahead of the repairs.
The repairs will affect Lagos commuters in different ways, so we’ve highlighted seven important things to keep in mind.
Rehabilitation officially kicks off on November 1
Repair works on the 3rd mainland bridge kicked off on Wednesday, November 1.
The bridge will be closed partially
According to Umahi, the repair work will be carried out at midnight to reduce the constraint on road users.
The repairs will last for three months
The repair work will span three months and be completed by January 2024.
The bridge will be closed at midnight and opened at 4 a.m. on weekdays
While addressing pressmen at the inspection, Umahi said, “We’re are going to be working weekends, Saturdays and Sundays. If we ever work during the other days, it has to be from 12 in the midnight to 4 a.m. the next day. We will not inconvenience Lagosians.”
Two sections of the bridge will be closed
According to Engr. (Mrs.) O. I. Kesha, the Federal Controller of Works, Lagos, the rehabilitation will begin with the ramps connecting Oworoshoki to Adekunle and Lagos Island (Adeniji Adele) to Adekunle simultaneously.
These ramps will be closed to traffic at 7 a.m. on Monday, November 6, 2023, for five weeks.
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Alternative routes to consider
The Lagos State Commissioner for Transportation, Oluwaseun Osiyemi, urged motorists to consider alternative routes.
“SCENE 1: Motorists from Lagos Island heading to Ebute Metta will be diverted to Ilubirin to connect Carter Bridge (Idumota) to link Iddo toward Otto/Oyingbo axis and access Herbert Macaulay Way to link to their desired destinations.
“SCENE 2: Motorists from Victoria Island are to go through Bonny Camp to Onikan Marina Bridge, Apongbon to Eko Bridge, Costain to Apapa Road, Railway Compound to Alagomeji, Glover Road to Apena Junction, Herbert Macaulay Way to reach their destinations.
“SCENE 3: Motorists from Motorway will be diverted to Ikorodu Road (Ojota, Anthony, Onipanu, Fadeyi) and Jibowu to access Herbert Macaulay Way to continue their journey.
“SCENE 4: Motorists from Gbagada can go through Anthony Interchange to link Ikorodu Road inwards Jibowu to access Herbert Macaulay Way and link their desired destinations.
“SCENE 5: Motorists from Apapa-Oshodi Expressway wishing to link Ebute-Metta are advised to link Oshodi Bridge to Town Planning Way to Ikorodu Road and then link to their various destinations.”
Installation of solar-powered lights, CCTV cameras
https://youtu.be/k3ZNwYWeUrM?si=FVX4Y1ubuzKpWmyC
Minister Umahi said the rehabilitation will also include installation of solar lights and CCTV to monitor the movement of people in the lower and upper sections of the bridge.
You’ll have your fill of grilled, peppered or fried meat and many more at Zikoko’s meat festival on November 11. Have you bought your Burning Ram ticket? You can do that real quick here.
Love Life is a Zikoko weekly series about love, relationships, situationships, entanglements and everything in between.
How did you two meet?
Temi: We met at a gym.
I joined early in 2021 because I wanted to shed pandemic weight, and my mum recommended I start working out as a form of therapy. I was a victim of layoffs during the start of the pandemic, and so, I was broke and directionless. She paid for my gym membership for three months and for a personal trainer. Each trainer had five to ten trainees depending on how popular they were.
Michael was in my group. I noticed him right away because he was always quiet and focused on what he had to do. He’d come exactly when the session started and leave immediately after. Most people liked to talk, linger and slack off. I immediately wanted to be just as focused as him, and then, I wanted to know what was going on in his head; it had to be more than the reps.
Michael: I was focusing on the reps to get my mind off being a jobless man who was digging deep into his savings for a gym subscription. Working out was my way of maintaining discipline. It also helped with my self-confidence when I was outside. At least, I was in shape.
I noticed Temi because she was a fine girl, and I remember thinking once that I didn’t even understand why she was working out. A part of me felt girls only gym when they’re overweight. But I didn’t think too much into it because I knew that was lowkey shallow.
Temi: After weeks of hoping he’d approach me, I realised that would never happen because he never stuck around. I walked up to him while he was resting between reps, said hi and told him I’d like to talk to him after. I don’t know why I sounded so serious like I wanted to sell him something.
Michael: I was just shocked she spoke to me, so I nodded and continued my workout.
What happened after the session?
Michael: She came to me right after. I was shy because I was sweaty and insecure about possibly being smelly. So it was a bit awkward.
Temi: I didn’t sense any awkwardness. In fact, I mistook his shyness for slight arrogance, but not the off-putting kind. I sha thought he was cool and loved that he was tall but not too tall.
When I asked what he did, he spoke about his work as a project manager at an investment bank and how he was laid off. I loved how smart he sounded, how he never tried to drag the conversation into something unserious.
I knew I wanted to be friends with him.
Michael: I thought once she heard I’d been out of a job for months, her face would change. It didn’t. Then she told me she hadn’t had a job for up to a year, and I was shocked.
Temi: We ended up walking out of the gym together and hopping into the same keke because we both lived in the same area.
Temi: We checked out each other’s IGs in the keke. But we mostly met up at the gym at least twice a week, sometimes, four times. We became each other’s accountability partners, and he helped me stay focused on completing my reps or getting in good form when the trainer didn’t have my time.
He made me look forward to my day at the gym, to be honest.
Michael: Me too.
Temi: But we didn’t communicate outside the gym much during that period. I’d go home and doom-scroll on TikTok between tweaking and submitting my CV and cover letter 100 times a day, help my parents with errands and chores, babysit for my elder siblings. Rinse and repeat.
When the three-month membership elapsed, nobody wanted to pay for my renewal, and I wasn’t in the mood to beg anyone.
Michael: I’m not sure if it’s because she stopped coming, but I stopped going to the gym shortly after. I even wasted about a week of my subscription. It suddenly felt like there was no point. Maybe that’s when I knew I liked her.
I still didn’t have her number, so I DMed her. She didn’t respond until weeks later.
Temi: I was lowkey more active on Snapchat and TikTok. And I had most of my notifications off because they gave me anxiety to see them pop up randomly.
When you finally saw his DM?
Temi: I was so excited. I remember screaming in my room when I opened IG and saw his username in my DMs with unread messages.
I pretty much liked him liked him at that point, but it was more like infatuation because we didn’t know much about each other. His DM was something simple like “Where did you disappear to? We’ve missed you at the gym.” My trainer messaged me something similar, but my reaction to his was obviously different.
Michael: She responded, and we DMed almost non-stop for days. It wasn’t like we had anything better to do. We talked about ourselves, things we found on our timeline and people around us.
Temi: There was something therapeutic about suddenly finding purpose in this light-hearted banter with someone whose head was correct.
Obviously, at some point, we talked about our careers and what we’d do to get back on track. We decided we had to go back to school or get some form of certification. I was already on track to take my second CIPM membership exam as an HR professional.
He was considering getting his master’s at Lagos Business School or japa. I lowkey discouraged him from the second option because I didn’t have any such plans and didn’t want to just hear one day that he was leaving me in this country.
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Did you guys talk about liking each other at this point?
Temi: No. This was like August 2021, and we were still very much platonic. But I knew I wanted more; I just didn’t know how to nudge him without telling him outright.
Michael: I’m not sure I would’ve done anything about it until I had a job and felt secure enough. Thankfully, we got jobs soon after.
A friend of mine hooked me up with a virtual coding and software development program that claimed to fix you up with a job or internship once you complete and pass. It was a three-month beginner crash course, and it was cheap. I thought it was too good to be true but had nothing to lose.
About a week before it was supposed to start, I shared the link with her on a whim. We’d never talked about tech, but I figured since we were both always discussing personal development, she’d appreciate the plug.
Temi: Tech was in vogue and everyone was hiring developers, so why not? When I showed my mum, she didn’t mind paying. I also lowkey saw it as an opportunity to get closer to him.
Don’t judge me, please.
How did the programme go?
Michael: Well. We bonded really well.
I was surprised she keyed into it quickly. She even paid before I did, and I admired her drive for something productive. During the programme, she was so determined to pass. After the classes, she’d call. Sometimes, we’d do video calls to go over things she didn’t understand.
She’d get me to get my coder friends on calls to show us what to do on assignments. That’s how we started meeting up.
Temi: At first, we met up outside. You’d see us at these lounges in the afternoon with our laptops, mouses and head phones. Thank God, no one tried to arrest us for doing yahoo sha.
Michael: Please, don’t joke like that.
What happened after this period?
Temi: During. We had our first kiss during this period.
After meeting up outside to work together a couple of times, we started seeing each other at his place. It got so comfortable with us meeting and working together in his room, but remember that I already liked him a lot at this point, and I knew he liked me back. We just needed to get into a comfort zone.
Michael: I don’t know how it happened but we kissed. And that “first kiss” ended up being a long make-out session that only ended because we had a deadline that night. After we submitted our assignment though, it was pretty clear we were no longer “just friends”.
We just walked with it without giving it a name for a while.
Temi: And now, I’m basically in love with him. Falling in love has been the most satisfying experience ever. I can’t even explain it.
We’ll explain it in a bit. But first, y’all completed the programme and got jobs?
Michael: Yeah. She got a job in December 2021. I got an internship right after the programme ended in November that didn’t pay too badly.
Temi: I’ve left the job now, but it was honestly a life-changer for me. Now, I can confidently say I can never struggle to get a job again. I have Michael to thank for that too.
Michael: I stayed loyal. I’m still at the job, almost management level now. It can be toxic sometimes, in terms of the targets and pressure, but it’s all worthwhile when I see my paycheck. Well, not so much now with the Nigerian economy, but I’m grateful.
I’m grateful that I somehow got a great new career and great new girlfriend in the same vein.
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God, when? But also, when did you finally put a name to the relationship?
Michael: Sometime during the 2021 Christmas season. I told her we should take our relationship seriously and start making plans together.
Temi: He had this serious face when he said it, as usual. I just laughed and said something like, “So you didn’t think we were serious all this while?”
Michael: You said, “So you haven’t been telling people I’m your girlfriend all this time? Wow.” We did everything people in relationships do, but that was 2021, and situationships and entanglements had just become a thing. I wasn’t trying to play games with my heart.
Temi: It was actually after we attended one ill-fated games night that made us swear off Lagos games night.
Michael: God, no.
Tell me
Temi: At this afternoon games party that turned into a midnight affair, they started telling us to remove cloth and kiss our neighbours. It wasn’t even truth or dare. I sha know that before we knew it, everyone was half-naked and kissing themselves. It was very much giving orgy, and I had to question the company Michael keeps.
Michael: My office co-workers invited me, and I was trying to build good working relationships.
How did you guys escape that situation?
Temi: The party was in this sprawling shortlet apartment complex, so we had to quickly book another apartment to ourselves.
Michael: We didn’t want to head back to the mainland that late at night. We’d had quite a bit to drink and were tired too.
Temi: That night, we had a long talk about what we wanted to be to each other, and the kind of relationship we wanted. It wasn’t diamonds, chocolate and flowers, but it was the most romantic experience ever.
One of my favourite things about him is how kind and respectful he is. He doesn’t even try to form hard guy.
Michael: Thank you. I guess.
Do you guys even fight?
Michael: We fight over food a lot. She’s never hungry but always eats my food. And she runs through our cereal boxes too quickly. She also is allergic to water or something. The amount of liquid sugar she takes is so upsetting.
Temi: Wow. That was a lot. I didn’t know you were holding all of that in.
I don’t think we fight like that. Sometimes, I think he has subtle OCD sha. Everything has to be perfectly organised or he’d fight. I don’t like that he gets so nit-picky with me, and that gets us clashing sometimes.
But we know how to de-escalate as well.
How would you rate your Love Life on a scale of 1 to 10?
Temi: Easily 10. It’s smooth sailing for now. Sometimes, I get paranoid that something will happen suddenly to shake us up a bit.
Michael: Like what? It can’t be that serious.
It’s a 10 for me too.
Check back every Thursday by 9 AM for new Love Life stories here. The stories will also be a part of the Ships newsletter, so sign up here.
On Wednesday, November 1, Economic Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) agents arrested some students of Obafemi Awolowo University (OAU) in Ile-Ife, Osun State, during an off-campus midnight raid.
Here’s all we know about the situation that’s already trending under the hashtag #FreeOAUStudents.
What happened?
On Wednesday, November 1, some students of OAU took to X (formerly Twitter) to notify the public about a midnight raid by EFCC officials. According to the accounts, the officials stormed Fine Touch and Superb Hostels in Oduduwa Estate, Ile-Ife, at midnight. The students reportedly thought they were kidnappers at first.
“When people were asleep, EFCC raided Fine Touch Hostel in Oduduwa, arrested over 40 male students and drove their cars away! What type of stupid oppression is this?” one X user tweeted.
When people were asleep, EFCC raided Fine Touch Hostel in Oduduwa, arrested over 40 male students and drove their cars away! What type of stupid oppression is this??!
The students were taken to the Ibadan office of the anti-graft agency, and their properties were confiscated.
OAU’s student union condemns arrest
Shortly after the incident, the OAU students’ union issued a statement on X, confirming and condemning the unlawful arrest of students.
“We strongly condemn the recent unjust arrest and harassment of our fellow students by members of the EFCC @officialEFCC in the odd hours of today, Nov 1st, 2023. This action is unacceptable and goes against the principles of justice and due process.”
The union noted its support for the aggrieved students and called on authorities to carry out thorough investigation.
We strongly condemn the recent unjust arrest and harassment of our fellow students by members of the EFCC @officialEFCC in the odd hours of today, Nov 1st, 2023. This action is unacceptable and goes against the principles of justice and due process.#OAUTwitter#FreeOAUStudentspic.twitter.com/743d9r3i1G
Some videos circulating on social media indicate that students of the institution have mobilised and visited the EFCC’s office in Ibadan, demanding the release of their colleagues. The #FreeOAUStudents hashtag is also trending on X.
A spokesperson of the EFCC, Dele Oyewale, confirmed the arrest of 69 “internet fraud suspects”. He said the anti-graft agency’s Ibadan zonal office acted on intelligence that the OAU students were involved in internet crime.
According to him, items recovered from the students include 190 mobile phones, 40 laptops and cars, among others. Oyewale said the students will be charged to court.
“The suspects have made useful statements to the EFCC and will be charged to court as soon as investigations are concluded.”
What about the university’s management?
OAU’s PRO, Abiodun Olanrewaju, said the school management is still investigating to determine how many of the arrested individuals are their students.
“We want to be sure that our students are not unduly harassed or intimidated nor abused. The management has mandated us to go to Ibadan and find out because the welfare of students is important to us.
“We want to go and see by ourselves so that we can come back and give the management necessary feedback. We are just going there now. It is not only our students that are outside Ife, so we wouldn’t want a situation where people will say all those who were arrested are our students whereas maybe some of them are not our students. We want to know who we want to fight for, who we want to defend and protect.”
This is a developing story.
You’ll have your fill of grilled, peppered or fried meat and many more at Zikoko’s meat festival on November 11. Have you bought your Burning Ram ticket? You can do that real quick here.
As of Tuesday, October 31, President Tinubu’s ₦2.1 trillion supplementary appropriations bill had passed for second reading at the House of Representatives.
Senate President Godswill Akpabio also read the president’s request on the floor of the upper legislative chamber.
“It has now become necessary to make further provision for additional palliative including the wage awards for public servants and the enhanced cash programme for vulnerable members of our society.
“In addition, defense has become critical to provide for peace and to secure the lives and properties without which the economic agenda of the administration cannot be achieved,” President Tinubu’s request read in part.
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What are Nigerians saying?
Many Nigerians have aired reservations against the president’s request, noting that some of the earmarked funds are unnecessary and come off as insensitive to the plight of citizens.
The 2023 supplementary budget calls for national condemnation,if possible protest,how do you plan to spend 2.9 billion to by pool vehicle,what kind of insult is this
You’ll have your fill of grilled, peppered or fried meat and many more at Zikoko’s meat festival on November 11. Have you bought your Burning Ram ticket? You can do that real quick here.
There’s a thin line between motivating your employees to do the work and casually giving modern slave owner vibes. On behalf of employees everywhere, we don’t subscribe to the latter, so unless you want us to leave so you can do the work yourself, avoid saying these things to your employees.
“We take pride in our work, rather than compensation”
Newsflash, most people don’t dream of spending all their waking hours slaving at the feet of capitalism. People work because they expect to be compensated for their efforts. We already know we can work, show us the money, please.
“We have to do more with less”
In other words, “You will be overworked”. Granted, it makes sense to do what we can with scarce resources. It shouldn’t be the norm, though. At the end of the day, employees are still humans. You can’t give one person three people’s jobs or inadequate work tools and expect them to be productive or do “more with less”. Let’s all be reasonable.
“We’ll hire slow and fire fast”
So, you’re creating a culture of fear and job insecurity? That’s our cue to start job hunting.
“We’ll do more in-person meetings”
Meetings were already unnecessarily time-consuming. You now want to add the commuting stress to it? Is the price of fuel a joke to you?
“You’ll be stretched to your limits”
Doing hard work is fine, but that sentence is incomplete without adding “but you’ll be compensated accordingly.” What do you think this is? Hellfire?
“You must give 100% at all times”
But the take-home salary you’re giving me isn’t taking me home, and I need a side gig to afford food. Be for real.
You’ve finally escaped your village people and arrived in Papa Charlie’s London, but nothing is giving as you imagined because cold wants to finish you.
Don’t worry, it’s just the winter. Prepare to relate to these things.
The cold hits once you step outside the airport
Your Yaba winter jacket was found shivering.
Bed cold as ice
Prepare to “microwave” everything before you sleep, so you don’t end up like Jack in Titanic.
The weather playing hide and seek
It’s the most difficult period to predict the weather. It could be sunny and warm today, and the next day looks like a scene from Winterfell.
4 p.m. looking like Naija 9 p.m.
But everyone else sees it as normal, so you have to pretend you don’t think the world is coming to an end.
Random love for tea
By fire or by force or by “this cold won kill me”.
Mood swings you don’t understand
Don’t worry, it’s not you. It’s the cold threatening to freeze your brain from inside out.
Outside is not calling your name
All the “I’ve arrived pictures” and “hang out” plans will have to wait because na who dey alive dey breathe.
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No more outdoor parties
This one will remind you of Nigerian parlour parties.
Dressing like Nollywood’s version of a mad person
Winter you do this one. But you’ll feel better when you see everyone else dress like you.
Skin like ashes
This one will make you remember Nigeria’s Harmattan.
Laundry takes days to dry
On top of this, you’ll have to deal with all the haunting flashbacks of your wash-and-wear days in Nigeria.
The heating costs
You’ll now have the sweetest memories of PHCN killing you with heat at no extra cost.
Winter festivals
Especially Winter Wonderland in Hyde Park. Should you choose life or freezing enjoyment?
The days are shorter
The Nigerian in you will ask, “Ahn ahn. When did 5 p.m. knack?”
Flu is after your life
You’ll start reading the news to be sure it is the catarrh you know and not another variant of COVID. God, abeg.
You’ll have your fill of grilled, peppered or fried meat and many more at Zikoko’s meat festival on November 11. Have you bought your Burning Ram ticket? You can do that real quick here.
I might’ve loved my school uniform as a primary school student, but I can’t entirely say the same for my secondary school.
It was an uninspiring combination of navy blue trousers and a white shirt. Very low effort, and understandably so because no Nigerian government official is thinking fashion when selecting uniforms.
If you read this article where I ranked the uniforms of 15 Nigerian private schools, you’ll understand why this one exists. Let’s see what our good ol’ government schools are up to.
13. Federal Government College, Ilorin
If I have to stare at this uniform as a teacher every day, the government better be writing me a fat check for eye maintenance. And another for dark shades.
12. Government College, Ibadan
Ibadan people might appear in my dreams and hunt me for days, but I’ll say it anyway. This entire combination is giving “correctional facility”. You see it too, right?
11. Abeokuta Grammar School, Ogun
I’m seeing the vest cardigan with yellow stripes again, and it’s successfully distracting me from spotting just how basic this uniform is. But I see it.
10. Mayflower School, Ikene, Ogun
Is it my eyes or they’re actually combining shorts with sleeveless blouses? Okay. I’ll give it to management for trying to tone down the seriousness of the uniform. I’m all for that.
9. Idia College, Benin
Even if you could ignore the annoying collar, you wouldn’t be able to do the same for the odd pink shirt and chequered purple skirt combination. And I won’t judge you for it.
8. Command Schools
Nothing screams “government” more than agriculture green, but you have to give it to the school management for bodying this colour so well. Also, that hat they have going on? I loveeet!
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7. Lagos State Model College, Badore
First of all, green socks should be criminal. When you go the extra mile to throw in a miniature red tie (that you think we wouldn’t notice), you should do naughty corner time. If a doctor finds his way to this school, he’d diagnose half the students with almost-Christmas syndrome. All that red and green probably has them confused.
6. Federal Government College, Ikot Ekpene
I’ve seen some private schools pull their weight with their execution of colour blue, but this is a discovery. As much as I hate to admit, everything works, especially the white socks.
5. Federal Government College, Umuahia
I don’t know if it’s the clean formation or the beret and socks combination, but I’m sold on the ministry of this uniform. They get an extra plus for that little stylish thing going on with the skirt.
4. Baruwa College, Zaria
I love that I’m staring at this uniform, and I’m not immediately thinking students or government school. Don’t they just look like entry-level trainees about to receive your bank deposits? Management needs to complete this uniform with a blazer.
3. Christ’s School, Ado-Ekiti
There’s too much blue going on, but I’ll allow it simply because government school is the last thing that comes to mind looking at this photo. Whoever threw in the rafia-themed hats did a thing.
2. King’s College, Lagos
I don’t know if it’s the way these young men are posing and giving CEO vibes, but this uniform is a serve. It’s the best execution of blazers I’ve seen in a minute — not too baggy and not overflowing to knee level (except for that one boy).
1.Federal Government College, Lagos
Tell me you don’t want to enrol your child in this school, so that they can step out of the house every morning and people will ask “What’s the name of your school, sweety?” Because the uniform is so fire.
You’ll have your fill of grilled, peppered or fried meat and many more at Zikoko’s meat festival on November 11. Have you bought your Burning Ram ticket? You can do that real quick here.
Contrary to Asaba Nollywood opinions, the cemetery should be a place of love and connection with your dead loved ones. And what better time to practice this than on Halloween?
Convinced?
Here’s how to do this right:
Dress up
This goes without saying, but what’s Halloween or a special trip to visit an dead old relative without a special costume? The scarier or more “dead inside” looking the better. This is your best opportunity to confuse your village people a little.
Source: BBC
Visit on a special day
What day is more special to visit a burial ground than a day set aside to remember the dead? Public cemeteries like Atan Cemetery in Yaba, are open every day, so there are no restrictions on when you can visit. Just make sure to visit during the day and with people.
Better safe than sorry
Talk to the dead
Talking to a physical symbol of your dead’s existence can reduce the feeling of separation. At the gravesite, tell them how much you miss them, share what’s happening in your daily life, reflect on the past and talk about your future plans. It may be difficult at first, but it can become happy and reflective over time.
Clean up the grave
If cleaning helps you to de-stress, you can clear the overgrown weeds or sweep leaves and garbage away from your loved ones’ graves. If the grave marker is dirty or has lost its shine over the years, clean it with water, a mild detergent and a soft, lint-free cloth.
Source: YouTube
Or decorate
But if gardening is what helps you de-stress, then go a step further by planting their favourite or a symbolic flower around the site. Or just leave a floral arrangement or wreath on the ledge stone.
Source: Benin Vaults and Garden, Edo State
Take a walk/tour
Did you know a section of Atan Cemetery is reserved for the British Government and maintained by the Commonwealth Office for Nigerian soldiers who died in service of the British Crown? Or that some of Lagos’ biggest historical figures are buried close to the entrance of Ikoyi Cemetery? Not every time Google. This Halloween, take a tour of your local cemetery for some real genealogical research.
Source: Memedroid
Take photos
Cemetery photography is a thing. The combination of headstones, monuments, grave decorations and the cemetery grounds can be aesthetically pleasing, particularly in the older, more private sections of our cemeteries.
Source: Adobe Stock
Some consider it an invasion of privacy to take photos of headstones not associated with you. But if they allow it, observe the following etiquette: hide the names and details inscribed on the headstones when uploading to the internet, and don’t take photos of funeral services, mourners and other visitors.
Pay respect to fallen heroes
Atan Cemetery also holds the most World War II graves in Nigeria — 411 graves. The fenced and barricaded site is a notable landmark in Yaba that most people don’t know about. Pay your respects at the grave sites of fallen soldiers, and leave a coin — a military tradition — as a sign to the family members that their loved one isn’t forgotten.
Commonwealth War Graves, Yaba, Lagos State. Photo credit: Daily Trust
Tip the caretakers
Like most low-ranked Nigerian government workers, cemetery caretakers earn minimum wage. They’re also often harassed and overshadowed by street thugs. Remember, you’ll be gone for another year or so. Having someone who’ll look after your dead while you’re away is not a bad idea.
Source: Peace FM
Make it a tradition
The perfect way to keep your dead loved ones fresh in your memory is to visit their grave site every Halloween. This way, you can make sure someone doesn’t just exhume the grave and sell the site to another person after some years.
Nigerians woke up to a disturbing video of police officers harassing Rivers state governor, Sim Fubara, in Port Harcourt. Fubara was reportedly on his way to the House of Assembly to stall the impeachment proceedings against him.
FCT Minister, Nyesom Wike, and Governor Fubara.
Source: Sim Media Volunteers
This event has people pointing fingers at former governor, Nyesom Wike. Here’s what we’ve gathered so far.
What happened?
On Sunday, October 19, 2023, multiple reports surfaced of a fire outbreak at the Rivers State House of Assembly complex around 10 p.m. The fire consumed a portion of the complex before firefighters arrived at the venue and brought the situation under control.
The outbreak happened amid rumours of lawmakers making moves to impeach Governor Fubara who was elected into office in March 2023.
On Monday, October 30, a video circulating on social media showed police officers firing teargas and water canons at Governor Fubara as he walked along a road in Port-Harcourt.
“You are attacking the governor of Rivers State? Rivers State governor under attack,” an individual shouted in the now-viral video.
Men of the Nigerian Police pouring water and teargas on the Governor of Rivers State. Sim Fubara, the Governor of Rivers on his way to the State House of Assembly Complex. @PoliceNG pls call your men to order.
Fubara was reportedly heading to the HOA to assess the fire incident and stop the impeachment proceedings against him. Reports indicate that 24 lawmakers of the state house of assembly had signed an impeachment notice and sent it to the governor.
A different video saw the governor in a safer and more stable condition as he addressed some of his supporters.
“From what I’ve seen, the security is even compromised. They were shooting at me. This operation was shooting at me directly, but it doesn’t matter.”
The governor declared that whatever actions had been taken by members of the assembly were null and void.
Gov. SIM FUBARA speaks on the recent happenings in Rivers State, in his speech, the security agencies have been compromised, tear gas were shot at him
Nyesom Wike significantly supported Fubara, a former accountant general of the state, during his bid to become the Rivers State governor. Before he won the election in March 2023, Fubara was not an active player in Rivers politics.
On Sunday, May 28, during a thanksgiving service to mark the end of his tenure, he told Fubara he would not disturb his administration.
“We will not disturb you from running your administration, but we will not allow you to make us cry. We want you to succeed more than us so that when we are passing on the road, we will raise our shoulders and say we told you that he would do better than us.”
Fast forward to October 2023, reports indicate a rift between the governor and his predecessor who is now the Minister of the Federal Capital Territory of Nigeria. Abdul Rasheeth, a media aide to former VP, Atiku Abubakar, alleged in a post shared on X that Wike had a hand in the impeachment move against Fubara by Rivers lawmakers.
“Wike wants to use the House of Assembly to impeach Gov. Fubara for his selfish reasons. Sim Fubara has been enduring the excesses of Nyesom Wike but cannot take it any longer.”
Rasheeth claimed Fubara almost resigned his position as governor but “because the deputy is loyal to Felix Obuah, the former state chairman of PDP, he was asked to sheathe his sword.”
He also claimed the recent confusion in Rivers HOA is a result of the move to remove the leader of the house, Ehie Edison, who is strongly against the idea of impeaching Sim Fubara.
Fight started between Wike and his Governor Sim Fubara. According to a source Wike want to use the House of Assembly to impeach Gov. Fubara for his selfish reasons.
Sim Fubara has been enduring the excesses of Nyesom Wike but cannot take it any longer.
Chief Edwin Clark, elder statesman and leader of the Pan-Niger Delta Forum (PANDEF) commented on the developments in Rivers state over the last 48 hours at a media briefing in Abuja.
Chief Clark called on President Bola Tinubu to caution Wike and the security forces in Rivers. “I have been reliably informed that there is a plot to unlawfully remove Governor Siminalaye Fubara of Rivers State, who has spent only about five months in office,” he said.
“I understand the sad episode is being orchestrated by the immediate past Governor of Rivers State and the Minister of the Federal Capital Territory, Mr Nyesom Wike.
“And that the intention is to remove the Governor, force his deputy, Professor Ngozi Odu to resign, and install the Speaker of the House of Assembly, another Ikwerre person, as the governor of the state.”
What’s the current situation?
Governor Fubara addressed his supporters at the HOA complex shortly after the assault. The governor stressed that he has done nothing to warrant an impeachment from office.
“Let them come out and tell Rivers people the offence I have committed to warrant any impeachment. Let me assure the people of Rivers that I will continue to ensure that you get the dividends of democracy. At the appropriate time, I will address the press.”
Burning Ram tickets are now available. Get your personal meat and many more at Zikoko’s meat festival coming up on November 11th. Tickets are available here.
The 19th edition of the Africa Movie Academy Awards (AMAA 2023) went down on Sunday, October 29, at the Balmoral Convention Centre in Ikeja, Lagos.
Nancy Isime, Rahama Sadau and Richard Ato Turkson hosted, and Kunle Afolayan, CJ Obasi, Tobi Bakre and Nse Nkpe-Etim among others won their nominated categories.
We’ve compiled a full list of Sunday’s winners below:
Burning Ram tickets are now available. Get your personal meat and many more at Zikoko’s meat festival coming up on November 11th. Tickets are available here.
Two weeks ago, I watched a hilarious video that showed a group of Kenyan bridesmaids filing out of a room saying, “I’m not the bride” until the last person made her grand appearance and introduced herself as “the bride”.
The video went viral on Nigerian social media as many people found it funny. What I didn’t see coming was a challenge that has now seen more than a thousand entries from Nigerian TikTok users.
I’ve taken the pleasure to compile 17 of the most ridiculously hilarious “I’m not the bride” videos.
😂😂😂 they caught him stealing and did this challenge 😂😂😂😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #funnyvideos#funny#trending#fypシ#fyp#foryou @GossipMillNaija @KRAKS HEADQUARTERS @YabaLeftOnline Media @yabaleftonlinemedia @KraksTV
Burning Ram tickets are now available. Get your personal meat and many more at Zikoko’s meat festival coming up on November 11th. Tickets are available here.
Around 8 p.m. on October 20, 2023, X users saw posts that followed the pattern of dissatisfied customers calling out an erring vendor. This time, it was Adeola Akinmola (@ade_authority) calling out Wunmi Odunmorayo, the CEO of Naija Hair Factory, for allegedly insulting her after a business transaction went wrong.
Naijahairfactory girl called me now calling me a “stupid fvcking fat bitch with hugly face and husband”
However, by the evening of October 25, 2023, things had taken a different turn. X users found out that Akinmola had been detained by the police following a report by Odunmorayo. Several posts were made asking for Akinmola’s release.
What happened?
On Thursday, October 12, 2023, Akinmola direct messaged Naija Hair Factory’s Instagram page to enquire about their wig revamping services.
“I sent an Instagram DM explaining that I wanted to revamp three wigs, with all the details they needed to know for each hair, “Akinmola explains. “I also asked about the price and duration of the process, but instead, they [presumably someone from customer service] collected my address to come pick up the hair and requested that the conversation be moved to WhatsApp. They didn’t reach out to me on WhatsApp.”
Akinmola confirms that the wigs were picked up the next day [on Friday], but there was no confirmation from them till she sent them an Instagram message on Tuesday, October 17, 2023, to complain that no one had reached out to her on WhatsApp.
“They sent a WhatsApp message hours later asking me to confirm the hair they received. At this point, I was furious. If they were just asking me to confirm something that had been sent since Friday last week, it meant the hair hadn’t been revamped yet. On top of that, the pictures they sent for confirmation had my hair looking like something from a dumpster. These were wigs that were still fairly new”.
Akinmola went on to ask when she’d get the wigs revamped, and was told she’d receive them by Wednesday, October 25, 2023. “This meant the wigs would’ve been with them for three weeks, and I couldn’t wait. So instead, I said I’d send my dispatch rider down to pick up the wigs and pay for the pickup they did, which was ₦3k. On hearing that, they tried to reach a compromise. I explained that I needed the hair by Friday afternoon at the latest, as I had an event on Saturday. They said they’d be able to meet up.”
But Friday [October 20] came, and the story changed. Delivery was moved to the next day.
“At that point, I just asked to send my rider instead. They agreed, and I informed them when I sent the rider around 4 p.m., but they were no longer responsive. They then responded on Instagram at 5 p.m. that they’d closed for the day and I should check back tomorrow. The rider I sent eventually cancelled the trip and left.
I lashed out, and soon after, they reached out on Instagram, asking me to send another rider because they’d dropped my hair with security. They sent me account details to pay the ₦18k bill — ₦3k each for pickup and delivery, and ₦12k for the service. I paid ₦15k because I was paying for delivery myself. Immediately after I sent evidence of payment, I was blocked on Instagram and couldn’t view the account anymore.”
Akinmola went on WhatsApp to complain that she hadn’t received her hair before being blocked, but there was no response. Frustrated, she then went on X and posted, “Naija Hair Factory just blocked me even before delivering my hair”. But she deleted the post almost immediately.
“I didn’t want to get involved in drama. I eventually arranged for another rider to pick it up, but because it was quite late, I didn’t get the hair that day.”
The confrontation with Wunmi Odunmorayo
A few hours after the deleted post, Akinmola received a call from someone who turned out to be Wunmi Odunmorayo, the CEO of Naija Hair Factory.
“She introduced herself and promptly started calling me names like “idiot”, “bitch” and “shameless”. She also called my husband names. The call was unexpected, so I couldn’t immediately record the call. My husband was with me, and I told him to record, but she ended the call. She then proceeded to send me messages and make calls to me via WhatsApp. I recorded it all. I even asked why she’d bring my family into this.”
It was at that point that Akinmola posted about her ordeal on X. What followed was a text message from Odunmorayo who later picked up negative feedback on Akinmola’s business (@corporateewa) from X to defend herself on Instagram story.
When did the police get involved?
On Saturday, October 21, Akinmola received a call from one Mr Jide at State Criminal Investigation Department, Panti, who informed her that Wunmi Odunmorayo had filed a petition against her.
“I immediately informed my lawyer and asked the policeman to continue the conversation with him. All this while, I was still receiving random calls from Odunmorayo. On Monday, she called me to take down the thread I made of the ordeal on X. I said I’d do it on the condition that she apologised to me. She refused and said, “You will see.” The call is recorded.”
By 4 p.m. on that Monday, four police officers visited Akinmola’s Surulere office and asked to see her. She wasn’t around, so they dropped a message inviting her to a Bariga station the next morning.
“I expected the questioning to happen in Surulere, where I was based, so I informed my lawyer. We went to the Surulere station to make a report on Tuesday and told the Bariga policemen we’d show up on Wednesday. I even had an accident that Tuesday evening, which required me to fix my car on Wednesday morning. But I arrived at the Bariga station with my husband and lawyer for what was supposed to be a simple dialogue.”
What happened at the police station, as recounted by Akinmola and her husband
We waited for Odunmorayo to show up at the station for over an hour. She finally arrived with a man. They were holding hands and seemed close, even exchanging quiet remarks.
Two other policemen (Nosa and Kenny) joined us, and we all sat under a tree in the compound. We were soon made to understand that the man who came in with Odunmorayo was the S.O (station officer).
She told her side of the story, twisting it completely. The S.O kept taking random calls with friends in between my turn to speak. When I was done, he simply told Nosa to take us to write statements. Then he left the station.
Odunmorayo wrote hers first, and they didn’t read it. But when I wrote mine, Kenny read it out and went through my phone to look at the tweets. They also told me to write in the statement that I posted her personal number, but I refused because the number was introduced to me as a business line. He said I didn’t have a case, so I mentioned I had recordings on my husband’s phone to prove she had been threatening me via calls and messages. The phone’s battery was dead at the time, so Kenny took the phone to charge, but when he returned it, he didn’t bother to check the recordings.
Instead, he asked Odunmorayo to show him the threats she had been receiving on her phone. He supposedly checked it but never showed me anything. I never sent any threat.
At that point, I noticed Odunmorayo call her parents to call the DPO (Divisional Police Officer). In a matter of minutes, the DPO called the police officers and asked them to charge me with cyberstalking, cyberbullying and intent to cause problems. I was detained immediately.
The DPO wasn’t even there, he hadn’t examined the statements, my recordings or done any investigations. Odunmorayo was right there when they announced that I’d be detained. My lawyer tried to disagree, but they threatened to send him out. My earrings, slippers and other personal effects were removed. I even told them I was on my period, but I got no audience. Odunmorayo left soon after.
The lawyer and my husband tried to seek bail, but they claimed the DPO wasn’t around. The officers refused to drop the DPO’s number, and it also wasn’t written down anywhere in the station.
We eventually got the number via X, but the DPO didn’t pick up. We had to wait till around 10 p.m. when the DPO finally showed up. Apparently, the S.O was the DPO.
I was taken into his office, and he said in Yoruba, “You these influencers think you can get away with everybody.” At that point, I hadn’t changed my tampon or eaten anything. I was tired. I asked if I could sit on one of the chairs in his office as I was on my period, and he said, “Does this place look like a period place?”
Nosa and Kenny were there too, so I tried to explain to the DPO that my evidence wasn’t examined and I wasn’t given a fair hearing. Those officers lied through their noses and said they checked everything.
I was taken back to detention while my husband continued seeking bail. He wasn’t allowed to stand in as surety because they said they wanted someone from Bariga, so we had to call a friend. My husband tried to see the DPO again to address the situation, but he was told he wasn’t available, even though he could see him watching TV through the window at the back.
Around 11 p.m., the DPO walked out and drove off even though they knew someone was coming to process the bail. The friend came and placed a call to the DPO. The DPO directed him to Nosa (who was the Investigating Police Officer – IPO) to help, but Nosa said, “Why are you coming at this time? Who will process bail at this time?” We tried to call the DPO again several times, but he didn’t pick up.
We were delayed till around 9 a.m. on Thursday before the bail was processed, and I was released. We were told to return on Monday, October 30, at 10 a.m.
What next?
“We aren’t sure what the next step is now, but we’ll continue to do everything legally,” Akinmola says.
Odunmorayo released a statement on Instagram on Thursday, October 26, insisting that her personal number was posted and the police report was due to being “deeply troubled by the harassment and threats”. She also stated that by the time she left the station, Akinmola wasn’t detained.
This is a developing story.
We’re celebrating the Nigerian culture of meat and barbecue with Burning Ram on November 11. Get tickets here.
A 24-year-old Nigerian undergraduate student identified as Damian has been arrested by the police in Rivers state over the alleged murder of his lover, Justina Otuene Nkang.
Damian allegedly dismembered the deceased and was caught while attempting to dispose of her remains.
Here’s a rundown of the situation which has sparked public outrage over the continued acts of violence against women.
What happened?
On Sunday, October 22, a student of University of Port-Harcourt (UNIPORT), Justina Otuene Nkang, was reported missing.
A missing person’s report shared on social media stated Justina was last seen at the hospital where she worked as an industrial trainee.
A friend of Justina also shared a tweet notifying the public about her disappearance.
On Wednesday, October 25, Rivers state police command arrested Damian Chinaemerem Okoligwe, a 400-level student of UNIPORT, in connection with the alleged murder of his girlfriend.
It turned out that Damian’s girlfriend was Justina Nkang, the young lady previously reported missing. Police discovered Justina’s mutilated remains at Damian’s apartment.
The suspect was reportedly nabbed by security personnel in his estate while attempting to dispose of the victim’s body. It was also reported that witnesses in the area raised an alarm and raided Damian’s apartment where they found the victim’s dismembered body parts.
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A video showed Damian in handcuffs as operatives retrieved the victim’s body and prepared to send it to the morgue.
On Thursday, October 26, a day after he was arrested, Damian was paraded at the police station and interrogated by pressmen. He claimed he had nothing to do with Justina’s death.
“I didn’t kill her; I found her dead in my apartment in the morning. I don’t know who dismembered her body.”
Damian claimed he returned to his house to find her lifeless body. He stated that he couldn’t explain the situation, which is why he chose not to call the police.
Update: “I did not kill her, I only found her dead in my apartment in the morning. I don’t know who dismembered her body”
— 400 level Uniport student, Damian, on late Justina’s demise
According to Rivers State Commissioner of Police, CP Nwonyi Emeka, preliminary investigations have started. CP Emeka also disclosed that the case has been transferred to the State Criminal Investigation Department (SCID) for discrete investigation.
Outrage on social media
Justina’s murder has sparked heated reactions on social media with many people, including celebrities, calling for justice under the hashtag: #JusticeForJustina
Gender based violence is becoming a pandemic! I can’t believe the life of a young beautiful girl with dreams was cut off just like that due to greed of her significant other. Men of this generation need to do better!!!!!!!💔💔#JusticeForJustinapic.twitter.com/Dvz5EciETj
I send my heartfelt condolences to the family of Justina Otuene, no one deserves to go through this 💔. We pray the authorities serve and ensure due justice.#JusticeForJustina
I am sending love and prayers to the family of Justina at this time. No woman deserves to go through that. Every woman and girl deserves to feel safe. #JusticeforJustina
You’ll have your fill of grilled, peppered or fried meat and many more at Zikoko’s meat festival on November 11. Have you bought your Burning Ram ticket? You can do that real quick here.
I’m not a trust fund baby, but I can relate a little too much to some of the “rich man pikin” jokes flying around on Elon Musk’s X. At some point in my early life, I thought local African sponge was a bird nest that fell off a tree.
Anyway, I’ve compiled 20 of the funniest ones, and if you also find yourself nodding in agreement a little too much, there may be hope that you’re not a full-blooded trenches-ist.
Let’s go.
You mean this isn’t a bunch of final year students preparing for exams?
You’ll have your fill of grilled, peppered or fried meat and many more at Zikoko’s meat festival on November 11. Have you bought your Burning Ram ticket? You can do that real quick here.
One of the worst things you can experience as a Nigerian is trying to access the funds of a relative who died without a legal will.
I speak from experience.
My aunt passed away in 2020, and we’re still struggling to access her pension. It’s one reason I now advise anyone going for even the smallest medical procedure to get a probate-stamped document from a high court so someone else can access your money, at the very least.
But back to our struggle.
My aunt first became ill in 2017. She’d had a medical procedure which led to complications, leaving her bedridden and unable to feed without a stomach tube. She basically lived in the hospital for the three years that she was ill. And the bills? They ran into ₦1.2m weekly.
The illness took her job at a government parastatal, where she’d worked for 16 years. The government didn’t pay her hospital bills, and they made her resign after the first year. When the parastatal’s medical team visited and saw her condition, they decided they couldn’t keep paying someone who couldn’t work. The salary in question was just a little over ₦100k/month.
At my aunt’s place of work, you don’t just resign and go home. You have to submit clearance documents at several offices to update your employment status. I helped her husband with this clearance process — which took months. I thought that was stressful, until the real stress came.
When she passed away in 2020, we assumed accessing her pension of almost ₦6m would be straightforward. She and her husband kept no secrets; that’s how we knew about the pension in the first place. He also knew her passwords, and they even had joint properties. But there was no will, and that was the problem. Although he was the next of kin, he couldn’t access the funds unless a court gave him a document called a Letter of Administration. That was the first hurdle.
Getting a Letter of Administration in Nigeria can take as much as five years. You’ll need to hire a lawyer, pay them 10% of whatever property you want to claim, and then try to survive the many court delays.
You’ll also need two administrators for court approval: a spouse and another family member.
So, I stood in with her husband, as they didn’t have children. Fortunately, we had a well-known lawyer who fast-tracked the process, and we got the Letter of Administration after one year.
The next step was getting cleared to receive pension benefits from the government parastatal where my aunt worked. We had to provide pay slips, show evidence that she didn’t owe anything and meet several other requirements. At one point, we heard that the place where they kept some documents we needed for clearance got burnt. Again, we had people on the inside who helped fast-track the process, but even with that, it took another year to complete the clearance.
The bank runs came next.
The deceased’s account had to be changed to an estate account, so the administrators (her husband and I) would be signatories and be able to access the funds in it. This was the account where the pension fund would go. It took another couple of weeks to update the account.
With that done, we could now move to the pension fund administrator (PFA). But there was one thing standing in our way: The Nigerian government.
For individuals who work with private organisations, pension payment is straightforward. Your employer deducts the monthly pension from your salary and remits it to the PFA. For government workers, however, the pension is deducted from the salary but isn’t remitted to the PFA for years. So, you could have a pension account with a PFA, but there wouldn’t be money inside.
That was what happened to my aunty. When we arrived at the PFA in March 2023, they told us that PENCOM, the regulatory body for pensions in Nigeria, hadn’t remitted any pension fund to her account for the entire number of years she’d worked. The money was essentially in the air.
The only thing the PFA could do was write PENCOM, requesting the funds so they could pay us. They also told us that the payment could take as much as three years to come in. Apparently, PENCOM gives preference to retirees over the family of deceased pensioners.
At this point, we can only keep disturbing the PFA to send reminders to PENCOM. We’ve spent so much money and time on this in the last three years, and it looks like we have one or two more years to go. I’m tired and have accepted the possibility that it might even take longer.
I’ll say it again: Please go to any high court and get a probate-stamped document, indicating who you want your money to go to if something happens to you. The last I checked, it cost about ₦10k. Save your family the stress.
We’re celebrating the Nigerian culture of meat and barbecue with Burning Ram on November 11. Get tickets here.
Love Life is a Zikoko weekly series about love, relationships, situationships, entanglements and everything in between.
How did you meet?
Effiong: In university.
We didn’t attend the same school, but she was my immediate older sister’s roommate from ‘97 to ‘98, so we crossed paths a lot when I came to visit. Sometimes, I’d call my sister, and Maryam would pick up. I thought she was the prettiest person in the world.
Maryam: For the most part, our meetings were fleeting.
Sometimes, I’d go home with his sister, Ini, for a holiday, and he’d be there. We’d all chat for a while. He and his friends got along with our friends. It was all lighthearted university energy.
He had a girlfriend the first year we knew each other, but I never dated throughout university.
Effiong: Because there were so many people chasing you, and you couldn’t choose.
Maryam: Convocation day came for me and Ini, and he was there with his family. They got to meet my family, and everybody just bonded happily.
I look at the photos today with such nostalgia. It was a happier, simpler time.
Did you like each other at this point?
Effiong: I liked her a lot, but I don’t think I was aware at that time.
Once their convocation came and went, I regretted that I hadn’t initiated a personal relationship with her. She and my sister went off for NYSC in completely different states, so I couldn’t reach her through my sister anymore. Of course, there were no mobile phones then. I missed her, ehn? That’s when it became obvious that I liked her.
But for that one year, I just gave up and worked towards graduating too.
Maryam: Honestly, I don’t think I liked him like that because I never even thought about it. I was blissfully unaware of his own feelings. And I didn’t really get into any relationships during NYSC because I felt boys weren’t looking for long-term.
I spoke with his sister a couple of times, but we were mostly disconnected until after we passed out and returned to our home cities. My family lived in Kano, while they lived in Kaduna.
Some months after NYSC, Ini and I later moved to Abuja for work in 2001. And thanks to my relationship with Effiong, we’ve been together since.
Effiong: I’d go back and forth between Abuja and Ebonyi, where I served, just to see her. They stayed in this nice mini-flat, and I’d squat in a friend’s place for a few days on each visit. But it still took me about a year to tell her how I felt.
What did you do in the meantime?
Effiong: She probably thought I loved my sister too much; I’d come under the guise of visiting her, but Ini knew the truth. She’d often tease me about it when Maryam was away.
Maryam: But she never told me anything. She’d just make offhand remarks like, “It’s not me he’s really here for,” that didn’t make sense until much later.
Effiong: I tried to get closer to her. We’d talk. I got to know everything about her, and I’d take mental notes. When I got back to my service state, I’d think about her.
I visited them about four times. Then they surprised me by coming for my POP. That’s when I gathered the nerve to tell her how much I liked her and would want to marry her.
You went straight to marriage? What happened to dating?
Effiong: Of course, we’d start with that. But I wanted her to know my end game at once.
When they returned to Abuja, and I went to Kaduna, I gathered all the money I could, from my savings to handouts from my parents, and bought her a special gift based on something she’d told me she’d always wanted. I went to Abuja to present it to her and ask her to be my girlfriend.
She said she was still thinking about it.
Maryam: I still saw him as a brother. I was also concerned about our different tribes and religions. But I didn’t tell him this because I was touched by his gesture of buying me a gift to ask me out.
I didn’t think I’d date him, so I didn’t open the gift. I never opened it. It’s still wrapped somewhere in our house just as he gave it to me.
Effiong: At first, I was hurt that she didn’t open it when I found out many years later, but now, it’s one of those things we can laugh about as a couple. I’ve still not told her what’s in it.
When we got married in 2003, we decided to wait till our 30th anniversary to open it together.
Maryam: I’m surprised he’s never been tempted to just tell me what it is.
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I’m more surprised you haven’t just opened it out of sheer curiosity. Also, why 30th?
Maryam: The number just rolled off the tongue. 30th.
Effiong: We could’ve just said 20th, and we’d know by now.
Maryam: I’m enjoying the wait. Once we open it, the journey is ruined.
I can’t even guess what it is because it’s in a box or carton inside the wrapping paper.
Effiong: The only thing I’ve told her is she won’t be disappointed whenever she opens it. It’s something she’ll appreciate no matter what.
I’m happy we’ve come this far to have something so special to look forward to even though it’s a small thing. I wasn’t always confident we’d get here.
Why?
Effiong: She never verbally consented to a relationship, but I kept showing up and being an absolute nuisance in her life.
I moved to Abuja, got a good enough job and sent her food or airtime anytime I could, even though a part of me thought I was wasting my time and money. I got used to doing things for her, so I just kept doing it.
Maryam: I always say I found myself in a relationship because I don’t even know how it happened. We got used to each other.
We didn’t even start going out together until mid-2002, but by then, it already felt like we’d been together forever. He made me very happy just by being there.
When he met my parents again, during one of our family gatherings, they accepted him fully, and that made me happiest.
Effiong: Her parents are so warm. I don’t know what she was worried about. They don’t like me so much now for converting their daughter, but even at that, they’re civil and easygoing.
Converting her?
Effiong: In 2002, she also started attending church my family’s Catholic Church in Kaduna with me. We went to Kaduna for about three weeks when we were both in between jobs.
I never set out to convert her, and I don’t think she attended because she was looking to convert either.
Maryam: I stayed at my uncle’s place. But I was in Kaduna to be closer to Effiong. He invited me there.
One Sunday, I wanted to see him, and he said he was in church. So I asked to come meet him there. The next Sunday, I followed him to morning mass. At the end of the year, when he asked me to marry him, we’d started attending a Pentecostal church in Abuja every other Sunday, and it was a comfortable routine for us.
Effiong: But neither of us was particularly religious or even spiritual.
Maryam: We did a court wedding in March 2003, and a mixed traditional wedding in May. My parents waited for a nikkah for a long time, but we just never did it. I didn’t feel Muslim any longer.
What’s life as a Christian married couple like?
Effiong: I’m not sure we can call ourselves that. For a long time, we were just casual Christians, attending church only on Sundays and pretty much minding our business.
We weren’t even loyal to a church: we’d switch anytime we moved. When we moved to Lagos, our pastor in Abuja expected us to move to the Lagos branch of his church. He was so offended when we didn’t that we had to block him.
We’ve mostly been focused on our family, career and getting our money up. I also think our introverted personalities stop us from truly getting into the spirit of religion.
Maryam: We’re non-religious now.
Effiong: We’re not atheists o. We’re just not affiliated with any religion.
Maryam: If not for COVID, we’d probably still be attending Sunday service. But since we stopped because of the lockdown, Effiong and I realised it really didn’t feel like we were missing much.
It’s much more important for us to be humanists, to be good and kind people, than to mindlessly perform rituals, and that’s what we teach our children.
If you want to share your own Love Life story, fill out this form.
You don’t feel paranoid that you may be “leading your children astray”?
Maryam: Leading them astray by not compelling them to follow a religion because I say so? I think they should have the freedom to choose. They should have an open mind and be tolerant of people despite their beliefs or opinions. I teach them basic human morals.
Effiong: No one knows whether any of these religions is the true way to relate with God. We just go by faith. I don’t feel led to do that.
I do worry about our kids. Not because we’re not raising them under a religion but because the world is cruel — both the religious and the non-religious.
Maryam: Religion isn’t something that keeps us up at night as much as the crumbling economy, the terrible quality of life and standard of living in Nigeria today.
I worry about the quality of education our children are getting, the quality of food they eat.
Effiong: When I was their age, I used to have lots of friends over or go visit, have birthday parties, attend Christmas or summer holiday parties, go to a neighborhood swimming pool, to Bar Beach when we visited Lagos. My children don’t get much of that, and it’s not that we don’t earn well.
Maryam: Even the quality of basic biscuits have dropped terribly.
I hear you. What was your first major fight about?
Maryam: The most memorable for me happened two days before our traditional wedding in 2003. We’d agreed to do it in Gwarinpa, Abuja. The idea for a traditional ceremony came last minute, and we only had two weeks to plan. Then on a Wednesday evening, he started saying we should consider going to his hometown in Calabar instead. It was crazy. I was already stressed, so I didn’t take it well, whether he was joking or not.
Effiong: My kinsmen were calling to drop out saying they couldn’t make the trip all the way to Abuja. So my oldest uncle insisted that since it was supposed to be a customary Efik wedding, it shouldn’t be done in the North.
When I came to her, it was just to express my frustration. I hadn’t even discussed it with my parents yet. But she thought I was putting my foot down and asking us to go.
Maryam: He just said, “My uncle said we should move this thing to Calabar o.” I already started thinking of how we’d have to move the date, travel with all the things we’d already bought, lose money on the rentals, etc. I reacted badly, and he reacted badly to my reaction too. We almost called the whole thing off, but we were already married by law, so…
Effiong: Then my mum told me it was unheard of for the traditional wedding to be in the groom’s hometown at all. We should even be looking for her village in Kano.
I just calmed down, went to apologise, the ceremony came and went, and we could breathe again.
And what’s the best thing about being married for 20 years now?
Effiong: Twenty years just came and went like that. It’s been a journey. All the stories we’ve just told about our origin, courtship and getting married feels like they happened a lifetime ago.
Maryam: In a way, it’s saddening to think how time flies.
Effiong: We’ve grown together, had many ups and downs, seen each other in several different lights, and by some miracle, loved all the versions. That’s such a blessing.
It’s been great working as a team and generally having the same outlook on life and where we want to go. Growing up, I didn’t get to see that a lot with my parents. They were always at loggerheads.
Maryam: It’s been particularly great raising our four children together. Where I stop, he continues and vice versa.
And we’re partners in crime. We do both good and bad together. I never get to be ashamed with him. That’s all I’ll say. He knows what I mean.
Effiong: I honestly can’t believe it’s been 20 years.
Maryam: Our china anniversary.
Doing this, telling the world our love story is such a special way to celebrate it. I’m glad we did this.
Effiong: Yes.
Here’s to 30 years and to finally unwrapping our “day one” gift!
Promise to come back and tell us what it is?
Maryam: I will.
Effiong: Don’t promise until you know, Ma.
Ah.
How would you rate your Love Life on a scale of 1 to 10?
Effiong: 10
Maryam: 10
Check back every Thursday by 9 AM for new Love Life stories here. The stories will also be a part of the Ships newsletter, so sign up here.
The last time we heard from Damilola Adeparusi, AKA Chef Dami, she was preparing for a 150-hour cook-a-thon to break the Guinness World Record (GWR) set by Hilda Baci.
The self-styled chef who has kept a low profile over the last few months is now in the news again after falling out with her pastor and spiritual guardian, Billion Dollars Prophet.
Here’s all we know about the situation which has taken a legal turn.
What happened?
On Thursday, October 19, Chef Dami shared an Instagram post, alleging that she’s been living in constant fear for her life since her cook-a-thon attempt.
Referring to her church members as “people of God”, Chef Dami claimed that they’ve repeatedly cursed, bullied and threatened her.
She wrote:
“‘By the time we are done with you, you will not be able to stand on your feet again.
‘This was from the acclaimed ‘people of God’. Among many of the countless insults, curses, threats and bullying.
‘Now, I understand the content of 1 Peter 4:17, Surely judgment will begin from the house of God.’”
In the post, she also claimed that her pastor and spiritual guardian, Adegoke Jeremiah AKA Billion Dollars Prophet of the Spirit World Global Mission, told her to “prepare for war”.
Hours after her call for help, Chef Dami shared a different post on her Insta Story channel where she raised an alarm and told the world to hold her pastor responsible if any harm comes to her.
A brief history of their relationship
On June 9, 2023, barely three weeks after Hilda Baci completed her Guinness World Record (GWR) for the longest cooking marathon title, Chef Dami made her first Instagram post announcing her attempt to cook for 120 hours.
The announcement photo featured a prominent logo of her church, Spirit World Global Mission as official sponsor.
While people bashed Chef Dami and the religious institution for attempting to outshine Baci, that was not the church’s first cook-a-thon.
During a virtual interview, Chef Dami stated that she only embarked on the cook-a-thon after she was chosen by her “church people”. Her pastor, Adegoke Jeremiah, who also spoke during the interview revealed that the church had initially organised a 40-hour cooking competition where Dami and some other members emerged as finalists.
The success of the 40-hour stint encouraged the church to attempt an even bigger cook-a-thon considering the buzz and success of Baci’s attempt. The church set a goal for a new 120-hour cook-a-thon and unanimously chose Chef Dami to do the cooking.
“She just had everything we thought we’d need for anyone that will go that far, for 120 hours. It was not easy but we knew she had what it takes,” Jeremiah said during the interview.
While Chef Dami busied herself in the makeshift kitchen, other members of the church rallied support for her on social media.
After the cook-a-thon, Chef Dami and Pastor Jeremiah made several public appearances and she attributed the entire success to him during most of her interviews.
Yesterday was such a beautiful day. I had the chance to sit with many dignitaries at the Ondo State Female Role Model Award Platform 2023. And just before I entered, I was presented with gift.😍❤️ pic.twitter.com/NEHdZSMXXe
Shortlyafter Chef Dami’s recent call-out, WhatsApp screenshots purportedly belonging to members of the church surfaced on social media.
In the screenshots, members lashed out at Chef Dami and called her an ingrate.
A member of the church also accused Chef Dami of spewing lies against the pastor and charged her to provide evidence to back her claims.
“All she is saying are lies, let her provide evidence for claims! I have evidence for everything I am saying.”
A legal turn
Pastor Jeremiah responded to the allegations of threat to life by Chef Dami with a ₦20 million defamation suit.
In a court letter dated October 23, 2023, and signed by his lawyers, Bisayo Sule & Co Legal Practitioners, Pastor Jeremiah demanded a retraction of the defamatory statement on social media, publication on two widely read national dailies, and a payment of ₦20 million in damages.
“In view of the incalculable damage you have done to the good reputation of our client, we demand a retraction of the libelous statement on all the social media particularly your Instagram page, and two (2) widely read national dailies.
“Additionally, we are demanding a sum of (Twenty Million Naira Only).
“₦20,000,000:00 being damages for the act of defamation against our client.
Chef Dami was given a seven-day ultimatum.
Has Chef Dami responded?
At the time of writing this report, there’s been no response from Chef Dami to the lawsuit.
This is a developing story.
You’ll have your fill of grilled, peppered or fried meat and many more at Zikoko’s meat festival on November 11. Have you bought your Burning Ram ticket? You can do that real quick here.
A few days ago, I saw this heartwarming post on X where media girl, Gbemi O, reminisced about a 2007-2008 paid gig where a dad asked her to record his daughter’s school notes into audio books.
The post sent me down memory lane, and I thought about all the times I saw my mum go above and beyond to see me thrive and make life a little more enjoyable. But I didn’t stop at relishing my own memories, I also spoke with people who had warm stories to share about their Nigerian parents.
Nkechi, Early 30s
I just had a baby, and I’ve been experiencing baby blues/postpartum depression.
I’ve also been dealing with constipation and having issues doing number 2. I always feel the poo at the tip but pushing it out is extremely painful.
My mum showed up out of the blue one day to check on me and that was the relief I didn’t know I needed. I slept throughout the night she arrived as she used formula for my baby. Now to the pooing part, my mum noticed how I struggled to use the toilet, so she did the unexpected. She put her fingers between that space between the anus and vaginal opening, and pressed it. The idea is for the strong poo to compress so it comes out softer and easier. It was a painful experience but it worked and the poo came out in one loud thud.
I don’t know how she knew I was in a dark place but her presence helped me a lot.
Idris, 42
As a married man with three kids, people are surprised whenever I tell them I still receive a monthly allowance from my dad. To be honest, it’s not a lot of money, but I appreciate the thought behind it. I’m blessed with a kind dad, and it inspires me to be a better dad for my kids.
My four siblings and I make occasional jokes on the family group chat about receiving credit alerts from daddy. Once, we tried to talk him out of it. We argued that we’re all doing fine and he could instead use the money to enjoy himself, but daddy wasn’t having it. I think it gives him joy and we’ve all come to love him even more. It’s unspoken, but my siblings and I know daddy will always be that safety net we can run to.
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Yejide, Early 30s
When my dad started his church in Akute, Ogun state in 2002, we had to join him. As a pastor’s child, people often criticise everything you do. They expect perfection from you because “na your papa dey close to God pass.”
Our landlady — an elderly woman who attended one of the popular orthodox churches — was always criticising us whenever she saw me and my sisters in trousers. One day, she reported us to my dad, thinking he would ban us from wearing trousers. But my dad told her he wasn’t against women wearing trousers, and wouldn’t stop us from doing so. That was how the woman collected ela o!
This singular act proved to me that I didn’t have to hide from my parents. While I saw other pastors’ kids wear outfits they couldn’t wear at home in school, I was free to dress how I want, albeit, modestly.
Amina, 28
I lost my mum a few months before I got pregnant. It was a very depressing period —we had a close relationship and we joked a lot about how she’d spoil me silly when I welcomed my first child. I was sad and depressed for most of my pregnancy because I’d have to deal with my mother-in-law coming to help with the baby.
A day after my baby’s naming ceremony, my stepmother showed up at the house with her bags. She said she knew I needed the help even if I’d not asked. It was a shocking and pleasant surprise. I always had a decent relationship with her but didn’t think it was that strong to invite her to help with my baby. She stayed for two months, and it changed the course of our relationship. My son is three now, and he calls her granny anytime she shows up.
Jibola, 38
Growing up, I was a sick child. It was always one hospital trip to another. I watched my parents shape their lives around my needs. I couldn’t be left alone on weekends and they had to attend every hospital appointment even if it was on a Monday morning when they should both be on their way to work. It was hard watching them stretch for me, and I almost hated myself for it.
Thankfully, things got better as I got older and I was happy to see them go about their lives without living in constant worry of my health.
Sadly, the sickness struck again when I was in senior secondary school. It felt like it came back with a vengeance for all the years that it let me be. Unfortunately, my mum had been transferred to Abuja. My dad and siblings tried, but with my mum away in Abuja, I didn’t feel like I had all the care I needed. I also didn’t want to be a big baby and request her presence so I just carried on. She came home a few weeks after I fell sick and even though I didn’t say it, she could see how much I needed her. For six months, my mum traveled down to Lagos every weekend just to be with me. If it took a toll on her, she never complained or showed.
Rasheedat, 50
My dad was a disciplinarian, but I guess it’s true what they say about old age softening people up. Since he retired, he’s been coming down from Abeokuta to Lagos every month to visit his three children every month. So a weekend is dedicated to each sibling. And he comes bearing gifts (mostly farm produce) every time.
Initially, it felt like it was too much because the visits were awkward. We hardly talked — He was either watching the TV, reading a newspaper or making small talk and he’d be ready to leave.
These days, I don’t even stress about buying things like palm oil, garri or elubo because I know daddy is coming at the end of the month. This has gone on for about three years now, and I think it has made me appreciate him more. He’s 78 years old, and sometimes, I worry about the stress he deals with driving from Abeokuta to Lagos every weekend, but I think it’s a discomfort he takes delight in.
*Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.
You’ll have your fill of grilled, peppered or fried meat and many more at Zikoko’s meat festival on November 11. Have you bought your Burning Ram ticket? You can do that real quick here.
Nigerian pidgin proverbs are unhinged for real, but I have to admit that I’ve latched on to a few on the days I needed some self-induced motivation.
You can’t hear “Eye wey dey cry dey see road” and won’t be tempted to sneak in a laugh in the middle of hot shege.
Anyway, I’ve taken the trouble (or delight to be honest) to compile a comprehensive list of pidgin proverbs and what they mean.
Funny Nigerian Pidgin Proverbs
These pidginNigerian proverbs will crack you up and teach you one or two important lessons. Talk about being multifaceted.
Custard na pap wey jand:
Looks can be deceiving. Stay sharp.
Man wey naked no dey put hand for pocket:
Stop capping. Be honest about your true situation.
Who dey purge no dey select toilet:
Basically, beggars can’t be choosers.
Cunny man die, cunny man bury am:
Takes a thief to catch another.
E don tey wey yansh dey for back:
There’s nothing new under the sun.
Better soup, na money kill arm:
The good things in life don’t come cheap.
Rice wey dey bottom pot today go dey on top cooler tomorrow:
No condition is permanent.
Lion no dey born goat:
Like father, like son.
One day breeze go blow, fowl yansh go open:
Nothing stays hidden forever.
Pikin wey say mama no go sleep, him eye no go touch sleep:
If you cause problems, you’ll see problems.
Leave mata for Mathias and Sabi for Sabinus:
Mind your business and let sleeping dogs lie.
Ikebe no dey heavy the owner:
You can’t run away from your problems.
Na see finish make “good morning” turn “how far”:
Set boundaries.
One day bush meat go catch the hunter:
Everyday for the thief, one day for the owner
Who borrow cloth nor dey too dance for party:
Tread carefully.
Lean on me, no be press me die:
Don’t overstretch your helpers.
Woman wey never see problem na him dey hold breast run:
When you face problems, every other thing won’t matter.
Woman wey dey find bele no dey wear pant sleep:
No dey disguise, be honest with your problems.
Na from clap dance dey start:
A little drop forms an ocean. Start somewhere
To piss no hard but fowl no fit:
Run am if e easy.
No matter how your anger hot reach, e nor fit boil beans:
Baby, calm down.
Person wey tey for party go follow dem wash plate:
Always know when to leave.
Cassava today fit be Garri tomorrow:
No condition is permanent; keep hope alive.
You no need cutlery to chop slap:
If you fuck around, you’ll find out.
Na condition make crayfish bend:
Sapa will humble you.
Nearly no dey kill bird:
If e didn’t dey, e didn’t dey.
Cow wey dey in a hurry to go America go come back as corn beef:
Don’t rush, calm down.
Every mallam with him own kettle:
All man for himself.
Because Lizard dey nod no mean say everything dey okay:
Looks can be deceiving.
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Motivational pidgin proverbs
If you’re in the mood for some aspire-to-perspire lessons, these pidgin proverbs pack a punch.
Today’s newspaper na tomorrow’s suya paper:
Nothing lasts forever.
I get am before no be property:
Hustle. Move past old glory.
Chicken wey run way from Borno go Ibadan go still end up inside pot of soup:
You can’t run away from your destiny.
Lizard wey fall from tall iroko tree, if nobody hail am!! é go hail himself:
Believe in yourself. Hype yourself TF up!
Na for afternoon dem dey find black goat:
Make hay while the sun shines.
Fowl wey dem carry for head no dey know say to waka na work:
A dependent person doesn’t know the value of what they’re enjoying.
Akara and moin moin get the same parent na wetin dey pass tru make dem different:
How you start doesn’t matter, what does is how you finish.
No matter how dark room wan be, man go still locate woman breast:
There is always a way where there’s will.
Person wey chop belle full, no know wetin hungry man dey see:
Privilege blinds you to the pain of others.
Yansh no get teeth but e dey cut shit:
Small things can do big things.
My thing and our thing no be the same oh:
Hustle o.
Better name better pass gold and silver:
Protect your integrity.
Na small world no mean say you fit trek from Naija go London:
It’s not easy because it appears easy.
Student wey read na him serious, but na who pass sabi book:
The end justifies the means.
Rolling stone, na person push am:
There is always a reason for something.
Pikin wey use agbada take stat guy go talk wetin e go wear wen e old:
Slow and steady wins the race.
Fly wey no get special adviser na im dey folow dead bodi enta grave:
Don’t be ignorant; stay woke.
If life dey show you pepper, my guy make pepper soup:
Make something good out of a bad experience
Water wey dem use take make eba no fit come back:
Don’t cry over spilt milk.
No matter how lizard dey do press up e no go get chest like alligator:
Be proud of who you are.
Wetin old woman siddon for ground see, pikin wey stand on top tree no fit see am:
Wisdom comes with old age.
Bring suya, bring suya….na cow body dey suffer am:
Actions have consequences.
Self-explanatory pidgin proverbs
Egg roll wey no get egg na puff puff
Show evidence. Always.
No be everything wey touch your hand you go put for mouth.
Everything that glitters isn’t gold.
Pikin no sabi fire unless he touch am:
Experience is the best teacher.
Poor man no dey siddon for front bench for village meeting:
With wealth comes confidence.
Na same water wey make egg hard dey make potato soft:
Life comes at everyone in a different way.
Table no dey turn, na who get sense dey change chair:
Take charge of your destiny.
If trust dey, water for no boil fish:
Trust no one.
Na strong head make February no complete:
Try dey hear word.
Water and ogogoro na the same colour, no mean say na the same:
Things don’t always seem as they appear.
Na wetin happen before, make strong man quiet:
Experience is the best teacher.
Person no dey learn to use left hand for old age:
Old dogs can’t learn new tricks.
Who dey argue na him dey tey for knee down:
Be quick to apologise when guilty.
I hear no mean say I gree:
Consent is consent.
Head wey no wan think, go carry load:
Respect who get, but fear who never collect:
Be slow to dismiss people.
Pikin wey like party rice no suppose fear to dance:
If you want it, work for it.
Even dirty water dey quench fire:
Be slow to underestimate.
Dem no dey slim fit borrowed clothes:
Don’t overstretch your helper.
Epp me watch my pikin no mean kill am for me:
Critise but be kind with your words.
You’ll have your fill of grilled, peppered or fried meat and many more at Zikoko’s meat festival on November 11. Have you bought your Burning Ram ticket? You can do that real quick here.
There’s a way sayings from the streets hit you when you hear them. It might be because of their humour. Or maybe it’s because they’re often relatable. However you look at it, they work.
If you’re looking for Nigerian street quotes that will keep you on your grind, these are for you.
I get am before no be property
This quote speaks to living in past glory. You need to keep hustling to stay balling.
Person wey dey find money no dey off data
It’s the internet age now, baby. 9-5’er or entrepreneur, you need an internet connection to do your job or promote business.
Na determination okada dey take overtake trailer
You’ll go past your biggest obstacles if you just go for them.
School bell wey sound like noise for assembly go sound like music for closing
What’s rough now will be smooth later.
Your Indomie quick done no mean say who dey cook beans lazy
Don’t underestimate anyone who isn’t balling right now. Your journeys aren’t the same.
No be who pay school fees dey first graduate
Another reminder that it’s not about who makes it faster, it’s who makes it later in life.
Follow who know road but hold your T-fare
Walk with problem solvers, but always have your own solutions with you.
No struggle, no success
We reject a hard life. But diamonds don’t shine without pressure.
Anywhere belle face na front
For those who believe that any way is a way, this is your mantra.
Price of bread no dey fear breadwinner
If you’re rich, nothing will be too expensive for you to get.
I wasn’t pleased with myself the last time I attended a jollof food festival. I got back home to see pictures and videos of all the other things my friends got up to. So, instead of giving comments like “Yes, this was fun,” “Let’s do this again,” and “Fire photo”, I was asking my friends “When? How did I miss all this?” Where was I?”
If you don’t want to be like me, I recommend holding these tips to your chest and taking notes before your next jollof festival.
Get adequate info before the day
In the wise words of philosopher Layi Wasabi, “Info l’eyan fin fo”. It’s important you check out the festival page or website and note all the activities planned for the D-Day. This way, you won’t be stuck at one spot when you get to the festival. You’ll know what is happening, when it’s happening, and you’ll be there.
Get all the free tastings
So that the next time someone wants to argue about the best jollof, you’ll tell them how you’ve tasted Nigerian, Ghanaian, Senegalese, Basmati, concoction, suya, designer jollof and you’re, in fact, a jollof rice connoisseur that appreciates all.
Watch the live cooking competition
If you don’t already know how to cook jollof that slaps, the festival ground is a place to jot things down. You’ll see some of your favourite chefs and food bloggers trying to make the best jollof. Your own is to pay attention and learn all their different styles and techniques. For example, some people fry their rice first.
Participate in cooking competitions
If your friends and family already swear by your jollof, the festival ground is an ideal place to sell your market. You don’t have to jot things down from your fav chefs. You simply need to compete and show them the stock you’re made of.
Film content
Content is king and you’ll get surplus when you attend a jollof festival. Just make sure to go along with your powerbank so you’ll get to record and snap all the Instagram-worthy moments without worrying about your phone battery. Bonus point: Go with two outfits and film enough content for one month.
Network and chill
Chances are, you’re already a foodie if you are at a jollof festival, and this means you get to meet other people like you. You guys can even share tips on how to get the perfect smokey-jollof or plan your next jollof rice date. Win-win.
Attend the festival
You can only carry out these fun activities when there’s an actual festival to attend. Luckily, Knorr is bringing back the Knorr Jollof Fest in Abuja.
This time, Knorr is encouraging everyone to “Eat for Good” and find ways to incorporate healthier options in their meals. Have you tried steamed veggies with jollof? It slaps. Join other jollof lovers and food enthusiasts at Harrow Park, Abuja on October 28, 2023. There’ll be lots to eat and drink, games and fantastic prizes to be won. To be a part of this event, register on the Jollof Fest website. See you there!
I’ve concluded that Davido takes Skibii’s “Ice on My Wrist” lyrics too seriously. Nothing else explains his obsession with wristwatches and, expensive jewellery.
The singer recently lit up the internet when he shared a video showing a large part of his ice collection.
Like many Nigerians on Obasanjo’s internet, I was intrigued and went down a rabbit hole of the singer’s watch collection. The first thing I found was that they’re worth over a billion naira.
Let’s take a look at them.
Platinum Day-date Oyster Perpetual
Estimated value: $60k
It’s not exactly screaming “I’m that guy” but I think I get it. Even the rich want to be lowkey sometimes.
Skeleton Santos de Cartier with a skeletonized dial
Estimated value: $45k
If you know OBO, you’ll know he loves to show up, and that explains why he splashed millions on this piece.
Patek Philippe Nautilus
Estimate value: $60k
Is it me or is this piece subtly screaming, “I’ll buy you a dozen times over”? OBO, easy on us please.
Audemars Piguet Royal Oak Stainless Steel
Estimate value: $60k
Only OBO will splash $60k on a basic-looking piece like this one. But hey, there’s a saying about empty barrels making the loudest noise.
Rolex Day Date Gold
Estimate value: $35k
Ooouuu! Now this is some African royal prince-type shit. Also, if you know ball, you’ll agree that Rolex is the Rihanna of wristwatches.
Richard Mille 011
Estimated value: $400k
If you’re wondering why he has an album named Timeless, this should be enough explanation.
Franc Vila Cobra Chronograph Grand
Estimated value: $35k
It’s giving “I could have been Ben 10 in another life”. But hey, I’ll gladly accept it as a gift.
Richard Mille Skeleton Dial Rose Gold
Estimated value: $300k
I mean, just take a close look at his wrist in this photo and tell me you’re not intrigued.
Rolex Daytona Rainbow Black Dial
Estimated value: $600k
If I lay my hands on this piece, God knows I’ll also be unavailable.
What does your budget for meat look like? You’ll find out at our upcoming meat festival in Lagos. Grab tickets to Burning Ram here.
The Business and Property Court in London has ruled in favour of the Nigerian government in its legal case against Process and Industrial Developments (P&ID) Limited, an engineering and project management company, squashing an $11 billion arbitration award initially issued in favour of the company.
Here’s what you should know about the situation and how Nigerians are reacting.
What happened?
It started in 2010. P&ID entered into a business agreement with the Nigerian government, and the plan was to build a gas processing plant in Calabar, Cross River State. It was a contract billed to last 20 years.
Two years later, P&ID claimed the deal couldn’t pull through because the Nigerian government didn’t keep their side of the agreement. According to them, the FG failed to put in place the required infrastructure to kick off the project.
The company took the case to court. On January 31, 2017, a tribunal ruled that the Nigerian Government should pay $6.6 billion in damages to the company, as pre and post-judgment interest at 7%.
The FG applied for an extension after the ruling and the application was granted by Judge Ross Cranton in September 2020.
In the application, the FG alleged that P&ID tried to defraud the country with the deal, adding that officials of the company paid bribes to secure the contract.
In March 2023, the FG argued in a trial court that the P&ID deal was conceived through dishonest means, and as such the awarded sum, which had risen to $11 billion due to the 7% pre-and post-judgment interest, should be thrown out.
Court Rules in favour of Nigerian Government
On October 23, 2023, Justice of the Commercial Courts of England and Wales, Robin Knowles, upheld Nigeria’s prayer on the ground that the P&ID contract was obtained by fraud.
If Nigeria had suffered a negative ruling, this would have seen a significant hit to the country’s foreign reserves. As of May 2023, the foreign reserves stood at $34.4 billion.
How are Nigerians reacting?
The ruling has sparked reactions from Nigerians on social media. Almost everyone acknowledges paying the sum would have seriously affected the country’s already weak economy.
Tweets below:
GREAT NEWS:
UK court just ruled in favour of Nigeria in the P&ID case, squashing the $11 billion award against Nigeria.
International judges are doing justice for Nigeria without bribery but Nigerian judges are collecting bribes from Nigerians to give fraudulent judgement. Just image this judge took bribe. https://t.co/a0Fi28Tubq
United Kingdom 🇬🇧: Nigeria 🇳🇬 has won its case against Process & Industrial Developments (P&ID) Limited, which sought enforcement of $11 billion debt in its favor. Congratulations Nigeria. Thank you @MBuhari, You insisted and you got this for Nigeria. https://t.co/tR77PENk18pic.twitter.com/ozUDwzVu64
You’ll have your fill of grilled, peppered or fried meat and many more at Zikoko’s meat festival on November 11. Have you bought your Burning Ram ticket? You can do that real quick here.
The 17th edition of the Future Awards Africa (TFAA) went down on Sunday, October 22, October 22 at the Balmoral Convention Centre, Federal Palace Hotel, Lagos.
If you didn’t already know, TFAA celebrates young people between the ages of 18 and 31, who have made outstanding achievements in the year under consideration.
The just-concluded Future Awards 2023 edition hosted by Vee Iye and James Gardiner saw Tobi Bakre, Asake, Hilda Baci amongst others winning their nominated categories. We’ve compiled a full list of Sunday’s winners below:
Prize for Dance
Prize for Arts and Literature
Prize for Photography
Prize for Fashion
Prize for Film
Prize for Music
Prize for Creativity and Innovation
Prize for On-air personality
Prize for Acting
Prize for Service to Young People
Prize for Content Creation
Prize for Young Person of The Year
Prize for Technology
Prize for Sport
Prize for Advocacy and Activism
Prize for Community Action
Prize for Professional Service
Prize for Entrepreneurship
Prize for Governance
Prize for Intrapreneurship
Prize for Journalism
Prize for Lawyers
Prize for Education
You’ll have your fill of grilled, peppered or fried meat and many more at Zikoko’s meat festival on November 11. Have you bought your Burning Ram ticket? You can do that real quick here.
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