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Nigerians on twitter | Zikoko!
  • Twitter Users Re-imagined Nigeria As A Working Country And It’s Hilarious As Hell

    Twitter Users Re-imagined Nigeria As A Working Country And It’s Hilarious As Hell

    Imagine Nigeria functioning like other countries: no traffic, free education, free medical care, a decent economy, stable electricity. The fact that we had to invent these scenarios should tell you about the nightmare we’re living in, but let’s pretend everything is okay for a second and laugh at this compilation of truly hilarious tweets because humour is the only way we can cope.

    1. The tweet that started it all

    But, aren’t we already a menace as it is? 

    2. Why did we even do this? 

    3. And they must pronounce Nigerian names properly too.

    4. They should also list all the songs from that album.

    5. One hour of legwork is mandatory. 

    6. Because there is only one right answer. 

    7. Omo! Nawa.

    8. Just following in their footsteps innit? 

    9. Screaming!

    10. At least they will receive a small allowance.

    11. Do we not do this?  

    12. Please, abeg. 

    13. If you ask for water, just forget about it. 


    [newsletter]

  • 7 Nigerians Talk About How The Twitter Ban In Nigeria Affects Their Mental Health

    7 Nigerians Talk About How The Twitter Ban In Nigeria Affects Their Mental Health

    The Twitter ban in Nigeria affects Nigerians in many different ways. From business owners to already marginalised groups. So, these seven Nigerians talk about how the Twitter ban in Nigeria affects their mental health.

    Jane

    It’s just not the Twitter ban in Nigeria per se, it’s the general state of Nigeria. Everything about this country is so bad. The future is so uncertain because I don’t have the money to relocate. I am just anxious and I don’t know what is going to happen to all of us. I am not doing okay.

    Anita

    The ban is affecting me deeply. I usually open this app impulsively to just say whatever is on my mind and to vent, but I can’t do that anymore. The VPN is messing with my other apps, so it is like a tiny inconvenience that’s giving me a serious tension headache.

    Peace

    I’m fully aware of the fact that this country will move mad and I need to get the fuck out of here with immediate alacrity because one small declaration can destabilise my entire life. I have three remote jobs. An internet shutdown means I’d be unable to work, and I might lose my job or lose hours ( I charge per hour) and my employers would be unable to trust that I can do the job, through no fault of mine.

    I’m literally scared. Freedom of speech is so important – I even have an entire business and product I’m building around it and plan to launch in 2022. It would wreck all my sources of income.

    Tolu

    The fact that the possibility of being able to japa for my family is ridiculously low has me stressed. I’m scared and I’ve been upset at my parents because when we had the opportunity to leave, my dad turned it down. Now, we’re here.

    Amaka

    My parents are not urgent about leaving, and I feel like I’m being paranoid or overreacting. We can leave if we want to, but they’re just praying for the best and whatnot. It stresses me out.

    Kunle

    It’s definitely made me more agitated. Now that there’s a Twitter ban in Nigeria, I’m constantly worrying about what they are going to come for next. I’m worried that if we lose Twitter, we’ve lost all our free speech. Twitter is the only place we can disseminate information without any arbitrary regulatory body sanctioning us. I’m very scared of what will come next.

    Daniel

    Before the Twitter ban, I was on a Twitter cleanse because I was spending too much time on the app. I also work a lot on Twitter so I needed to get off the app. Since I was already off for a few weeks, the ban didn’t affect me in the sense that they were taking something I needed away from me. It affected me in the sense that I’m actually in Nigeria where a minister can order that the people’s rights be taken from them and the order will be executed. It’s scary.

    For more on what goes on inside the life, please click here


    [donation]

  • This Is What Happens When A Nigerian Boyfriend Chooses Football Over His Girlfriend On Valentine’s Day

    This Is What Happens When A Nigerian Boyfriend Chooses Football Over His Girlfriend On Valentine’s Day

    Every Valentine’s day, you can totally smell the love in the air. The gifts shared between lovers are not even as much the banter that ensues.

    These hilarious tweets show how dramatic Valentine’s day went for some Nigerians.

    This Nigerian lady shared the story of her friend who went all the way and got her boo a PS4 console for Valentine’s day.

    So this babe is giving us gist of how she saved to get her man the ps4 for this Valentine’s Day & he was so excited.

    — Brownskin (@_Ruthee_) February 14, 2016

    And this happened afterwards.

    He put up “best girlfriend ever” on his bbm and people were congratulating both of them, saying she’s a keeper and all.

    — Brownskin (@_Ruthee_) February 14, 2016

    During the epic Valentine’s day Arsenal match against Leceister FC…

    Fast forward to some hours later, Arsenal wins. He takes off the ps4 from his dp & the “best girlfriend ever” from his pm & replaces it with

    — Brownskin (@_Ruthee_) February 14, 2016

    Arsenal FC seized another person’s bae.

    Arsenal’s logo & “Arsenal just gave me the best gift”

    Babe is devastated here, talking of how he’s an ingrate and whatnot — Brownskin (@_Ruthee_) February 14, 2016
    Hay God!

    She just said she’s going to take the ps4 back????????????????

    I almost fell out of this chair???? — Brownskin (@_Ruthee_) February 14, 2016

    Because of small play.

    Can this get any worse? She said she’s not going for the dinner date?????

    What kind of retard is this one oh Lord? Cos of small play???? — Brownskin (@_Ruthee_) February 14, 2016

    When your boo thanks another person for the best Valentine’s gift ever after you bought them a PS4.

    Ela! [zkk_poll post=18634 poll=content_block_standard_format_9]