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Life in Lagos can be difficult and stressful but don’t let that distract you from the fact that it’s possible to use enjoyment to kill yourself in this same Lagos? And the best part? You don’t even have to spend money.
Gate crash somebody’s owambe. Make sure it’s not one that is strictly be invitation to avoid disgrace.
Is anything better than free food and drinks? If you hustle well you’ll even collect souvenir too.
Go to your nearest bar anytime Nigeria is playing in any football tournament and just sit down. Once Nigeria scores, someone is guaranteed to buy beer for everyone in the bar.
Visit tourist attractions. You might die in Lagos traffic but don’t worry it’s all part of the experience.
It’s only in Lagos you can witness a danfo scratching a Ferrari, you can’t get that kind of entertainment anywhere else.
Take a tour of all the suya spots in your area and finesse your way to getting free suya.
So this is how it’s done. Buy a bottle of coke and go from suya spot to suya spot asking for ‘tasting’. By the time you check out ten spots, you’ll be well fed.
Go to the New Afrikan Shrine and just soak up the great vibe and music it has to offer.
If you go on a Sunday you get to see the legendary Femi Kuti perform for free.
Complete the cultural experience of visiting Shrine with a trip to Kalakuta museum where Fela’s spirit lives on.
There’s also a bar in the museum, if you are sharp you can finesse your way to free beer.
If you like Shrine you’ll also like Freedom Park in Lagos Island.
There is almost always a live music performance going on for you to enjoy. There are also several food courts you could buy food from, but that’s not what you are there for so pack rice from your house.
Are you even a Lagosian if you’ve never been to one of the beaches?
Pick a weekend to go and dig your feet in the sand and take a dip in the water.
Go and learn about Nigeria’s history at the National Museum. It’s completely free.
It’s not everyday chop life. Some days educate yourself.
But the ultimate way to enjoy Lagos? Just don’t leave your house. What are you looking for outside? Isn’t there rice at home?
We’ve done the math and if you don’t leave your house in Lagos you won’t spend up to 2k a day. If you don’t want to spend any money at all, then Lagos is not the place for you. Have you considered moving to Ibadan?
1. All your friends in Lagos had been telling you how lit Lagos is and the awesome places to seize the bae. So you carried your Ghana-must-go and travelled down.
Turn up!
2. Finding out there was traffic all the way from the airport to your house.
What is this?
3. When you passed through Ojota for the first time and the smell from the refuse dump hits your face hard.
Jesu Kristi!
4. When you realise Lagos is actually overpopulated and hot.
Why are you people so many?
5. When you remember how much light you had back home compared to Lagos.
I’m not coming back again.
6. When you try to rent a self-contained flat and they ask you to bring your kidney as rent payment.
Kuku harvest all my organs.
7. When you’re used to the chill life but everybody has no chill in Lagos.
Can’t you people just calm down for a second?
8. When you realise you either have to jump danfo or pay through your nose for cab fares.
Can I just go back home?
9. When you managed to take danfo and they were just the dirtiest buses in this life.
Iyama!
10. When you were sitting jejely in the danfo and people still came to rob you.
I want my mummy!
11. When you go the market and everybody starts grabbing you.
Are you alright?
12. Finding out most of the events people told you about were either expensive or really boring.
You lied to me!
13. When you finally get a chance to buy a car and LASTMA catches you for one tiny crime.
Ordinary driving in the BRT lane? Someone can’t play with you again.
14. Finding out people in Lagos drive like Mad Max.
Lagos drivers have no home training.
15. Before, you were just a peaceful somebody but now you’re always ready to fight with anybody that steps on you.
Hay God!
16. When you don’t even know how to talk quietly on the phone anymore.. because Lagos noise.
I’m sorry I can’t hear you over this person shouting beside me.
17. When you have to plan your day three days before because of Lagos traffic.
