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nigerian tailors | Zikoko!
  • Abolish Nigerian Tailors: 7 Nigerians Share Their Funny Stories

    Nigerian tailors have a very interesting reputation. They’re known to constantly disappoint their customers. In a bid to understand why they earn this reputation, some Nigerians shared with us their funny tailor horror stories. 

    She relocated with my material

    Two times, I’ve had tailors relocate without sewing my clothes. One left Nigeria and at least had the decency to return my material to me. The one that left Lagos actually carried my fabric with her to wherever she went to. At this point, if you’re planning to relocate, you should try being my tailor. 

    – Titi

    He sewed my material for his girlfriend

    My friend was getting married in two weeks and I had given my tailor the asoebi and style I wanted to sew. Since it was the same tailor I had been using for a couple of months and had not been disappointed before, I was entirely confident in his abilities. Two days to the wedding and he was telling me stories about the dress and how they ran out of the colour of mesh in the market. 

    A day to the wedding, my friend had to find extra material for me to carry to another bridesmaid’s tailor, and we slept in her shop overnight so she could sew the dress for me. After the wedding, I kept calling the man to return the material and my money, but I kept getting excuse after excuse. One day, I was scrolling through Facebook and they recommended his page to me. That’s where I saw pictures of his girlfriend wearing the asoebi I gave him to sew. As in, he used my asoebi to sew my design for his girlfriend. I was so angry, I went to his shop unannounced and packed all the materials I saw. Either I sell all of them till I get my money back, or I dash them out as gifts. 

    -Jane

    He spent New Year’s day with my dress, twice

    October of 2017, I gave my tailor material to sew the dress I would wear for the New Year. I gave him months in advance so that I won’t hear story, but who ended up hearing story when December was coming to an end? Me. He told me the outfit would be ready and I should not worry, but who ended up worrying? Me. Luckily, I had an outfit I could wear to church. I asked him to give me back my material, he said no. Sew my cloth, also no. So, I told him to keep it. I’d just sew the cloth for my birthday thanksgiving service in 2018. Once again, outfit and cloth I did not see. Even the tailor, I did not see. When he eventually materialised from wherever he came from, he said all that was left was ironing of the cloth. I told him to bring it, and I will iron it myself. He ghosted me. 

    December of 2018, I told him that since another year was coming up, this was his chance to prove himself. When we entered the New Year, he stopped replying my texts and picking my calls. I had to take a bike to his shop. I found him there sleeping, with my uncut material on his table. Until I threatened to arrest him, he didn’t start sewing my clothes. I sat down there and waited. Eventually, he made my dress and I wore it to church. 

    -Anita

    Brought the wrong material on the day of the event

    My cousin was getting married and since I had to travel in for the wedding, I sent my measurements and style to my mother two weeks before the wedding so she can pick a tailor. I got in four days to the wedding and there was a lot going on, so the dress skipped my mind. Three days to the wedding and I asked my mother about my dress. She told me it was to come that day. Night came and tailor I did not see. My mother said the tailor would come the next day. The next day, I still did not see the tailor. I became agitated and at some point, the tailor sent a message that her network was bad and she’d bring the dress the morning of the wedding

    The morning of the wedding, the tailor arrived and brought a purple ankara dress for me to wear. The asoebi for the wedding was blue lace. . I ended up wearing one of the evening dresses I had packed. I was so angry, I could beat someone.

    Chioma

    She’s been dragging clothes for almost two years

    This is someone I am still currently dragging for my clothes. I gave her materials in November or December of 2020. The plan was she was to make me a skirt, a tote bag, and two dresses. A while after I gave her the clothes, I asked about her progress and she told me she had not started making them because I had not paid her yet. I told her to calculate the price of everything and then I transferred the money to her account in full so that i won’t have any hitches.

     It’s January of 2022 and all I have gotten is the tote bag that I collected in August of 2021. The only reason I even have that is because she made one for herself and I just took it. My dresses and skirt are still with her. I’m asking her to return my money so I can meet someone else, but she’s not even answering me. 

    -Aminat

    “Ugly clothes

    I bought a white lace that I would wear for the first Sunday service of the year. My plan was to enter the New Year with style and grace, being far above my enemies, but my tailor had other plans. The dress she made for me was so ugly, I couldn’t smile in church. My self-esteem was absolutely ruined that day. I sat at the back of the church and was just seething. 

    The second time, I gave her my cloth a week before the fake date I gave her for the event. Just for me to arrive the day she had promised my cloth would be ready and find it unsewn. Her excuse? She had a sore throat. She was begging, but I didn’t even have her time. 

    – Cynthia

    It has turned into a police case

    My friend had a wedding on the 4th of January and since her usual tailor travelled, she had to find a new one. She gave the material to one of our coursemates who assured her she could sew the cloth properly. My friend insisted that of the outfit turned out to be rubbish, she would collect her money back. The tailor agreed. 

    On the second, my friend called the tailor, but the tailor wasn’t picking up. When she eventually picked up the call, she said there were some finishing touches. My friend had to travel back to the village where the wedding was taking place, and the tailor promised to deliver the cloth to her there. 

    A day to the wedding, my friend called the tailor and the babe said markets didn’t open the day before and she would send it the morning of the wedding. The day of the wedding. My friend tried calling, but the tailor’s number didn’t go through. She had to find something else to wear to the wedding. 

    At 1 p.m. the tailor called and told my friend the dress was at the car park. My friend left the wedding and went to pick it up. When she saw the dress, it was terrible. My friend asked for a refund and the tailor started shouting, so she called the police for the tailor. They’re still settling the case till now.

    -Ada

    [donation]

  • All The Tales You Should Expect From Your Tailor This Month

    It’s finally Christmas season. Detty December has been loading for you since April which is why you’ve got to get everything in place: money, squad and of course your awesome style team to help you slay.

    Okay, get this, if you know that your style team only includes you and your tailor (the new one that has you biting your fingers in fear), then you might want to brace yourself for the inevitable excuses they will throw your way. Here are some of the most famous ones:

    There’s been no light since NEPA took it weeks ago:

    So even though you saw NEPA light on their street you have to believe that they are telling you the truth and didn’t change over to gen when they saw you coming.

    They didn’t see the fabric you wanted in the market:

    They are going to blame this one on Buhari and YOU. Really though, why did he close the border and why couldn’t you have chosen something else? They’ll conveniently forget that they recommended the fabric because it’s “in vogue”.

    “If you did not tell us to put that rose on the cloth, it would have been finer.”

    Because anything that goes wrong with that outfit is your fault. Not theirs at all, just you who thought they could do the job based on their say so.

    “Ha oga, you have to pay for express because there are so many clothes from other customers so we would have to squeeze you in.”

    Meanwhile, there’s nothing but thread and pieces of fabric in their store and they look like they really need you to patronize them.

    They’ll tell you the reason your outfit is horrible is because their apprentice made it:

    If they can blame it on NEPA, Buhari or your late payment, they will say that it was their apprentice that ruined it. That’s sheer wickedness right there.

    They’ll ask if you recently lost weight:

    This is a popular excuse in the Nigerian tailor’s manual. It is only used when they’ve sewed three times the proportions of your measurements.

    Did we miss any excuse you’ve heard before? What are you doing to avoid hearing these excuses? Drop a comment, let’s know.

  • Here’s A Handy Guide For Dealing With Nigerian Tailors
    Nigerian tailors have been disappointing us since time immemorial. If their sewing machine isn’t bad, their mother is sick or they stole their gen and that’s why your cloth is not ready. If you are tired of Nigerian tailors’ wahala, then this one is for you.

    If you need the cloth in two months tell them you need it in two weeks.

    By the time you really need your clothes, they’ll be ready.

    Always remember that every word that comes out of their mouth is a lie.

    If they tell you, you need ten yards that means you need eight.

    If they start asking too many questions about the style you want to make that means they can’t sew it. Leave.

    No matter how many times they tell you ‘yes ma I can sew it’.

    Never use a tailor without a shop or who’s squatting in someone’s shop.

    The day you drop your material and a deposit is the last day you’ll see them.

    If you are using the tailor for the first time, give them cheap ankara that someone dashed you.

    Don’t give them that lace that you bought for 50k. If not your case will be one of had I known.

    Don’t give them any breathing space. Sit on their heads.

    Call them morning, afternoon and night. If their shop isn’t far pop in every now and then until your cloth is ready.

    Don’t collect your cloth on the day you need it.

    If it’s not too big, it’ll be too small. Or the jumpsuit you asked for might have turned to gown.

    If you need something sewn quickly keep it very simple.

    If you give a Nigerian tailor three days to sew agbada with embroidery you won’t like what you’ll collect.

    Never ever pay in full, don’t even pay half.

    If you do, whatever state your cloth was in when you paid is how it’ll stay until you call police.

    If you check in on your tailor and they haven’t even cut your material collect it back and flee.

    4 months from now you’ll still be begging for the cloth.

    If they disappoint you and break your heart once, treat them like a bad ex and never go back.

    What are you still doing with that tailor that didn’t let you wear the asoebi you bought to that wedding? Remember the pain of the small chops tray passing you by because you didn’t wear asoebi? Good hold on to that vex.

    Show them no mercy.

    If they tell you their mother is sick, they are lying. They got robbed? Lying. Hold their neck and collect your cloth.

    Finally, always be wary.

    That tailor that hasn’t disappointed you in ten years will do so one day. It’s not their fault it’s just their nature.
  • 7 Things That Will Never Happen If Your Tailor Is Nigerian

    1. When you call your tailor and they actually pick up your call.

    Wawu!

    2. When your tailor actually admits they can’t sew the style you want.

    If I hear!

    3. When your tailor delivers your cloth a day before they promised.

    Must be a dream.

    4. When they actually get the style you asked for and even put jara to make it finer.

    Are you even real?

    5. When you describe a style to your tailor and they actually bring out pencil to sketch what you want.

    Oshay baddest!

    6. When you meet a tailor that doesn’t copy from Ovation.

    Issa designer!

    7. When you find a tailor that doesn’t lie or delay your work.

    Bae!
  • 1. This fail of an outfit.

    2. What you get when your tail says “Aunty I fit sew am”.

    https://twitter.com/Seun_olar/status/840209415177408512

    3. But why?

    Nigerian Tailor Will Promise You Gown..

    But Then Sew You Superman Jacket.. pic.twitter.com/JacZNN3Tw0 — Brighter Days??… (@OneXMind) January 18, 2017

    4. Hay God!

    You Expect Nigerian Tailor To Deliver You Fit Cloth Like That Of Michelle Obama

    But Nigerian Tailor Thinks Iya Basirat Cloth Best Suits You pic.twitter.com/LjNKhxYJGJ — Brighter Days??… (@OneXMind) January 18, 2017

    5. Is it by force though?

    6. This struggle off-the-shoulder dress.

    https://twitter.com/A_Jaden_/status/806979061599916033

    7. Na wa o!

    8. This awful copy.

    9. And this travesty of a jumpsuit.

    10. This disaster of a wedding dress.

  • It’s 2017, a brand new year, but nothing has changed for Nigerian tailors.

    There’s no doubt they were put on this earth to just frustrate your life.

    This lady’s poor friend asked for one thing and they gave her a shocker!

    What did we just see, please?

    Someone now replied with a picture that will blow your mind.

    All she wanted was a dope jumpsuit…

    https://twitter.com/Slimzronke/status/818072993842614274

    Will Nigerian tailors make heaven like this?

    Diz tew much!