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Nigerian Police Force | Zikoko!
  • Game of Votes: The Nigeria Police Force Wants to Steal Your Heart

    Game of Votes: The Nigeria Police Force Wants to Steal Your Heart

    This is Zikoko Citizen’s Game of Votes weekly dispatch that helps you dig into all the good, bad, and extremely bizarre stuff happening in Nigeria and why they’re important to you.

    Subscribe now to get the newsletter in your email inbox at 8 am every Friday instead of three days later. Don’t be LASTMA.

    The public image of the Nigeria Police Force (NPF) is as black as the uniform the officers wear. And when Nigerians protested with the call to #EndSARS in 2020, the police washed their very dirty underwear, overwear and all sorts of wears before the global community.

    To gain a bit more control over the narrative, there are now many police spokespersons on Twitter directly attending to public complaints. But these spokespersons still do messy things like trying to act savage or victim-blame.

    Game of Votes

    The NPF is now trying to mend fences with Nigerians through the magic restorative power of improved public relations. This week, the Inspector-General, Usman Baba, announced plans to launch a Police PR School for officers. This school will focus on things like behaviour management, professionalism, and hopefully, the medicine that banishes the spirit of extortion and high-handedness.

    That training can start with the Force spokesperson himself to prevent more tweets like this:

    Game of Votes

    Whatever the NPF is cooking here, improved engagement with Nigerians shouldn’t be about putting paper over cracks, but committing to true reforms that Nigerians can get behind. For starters, it would be nice for officers to stop extorting Nigerians. We don’t have anything for the boys.

    What Else Happened This Week?

    Nigerian Politicians Can’t Stay in One Place — It’s Science

    One thing you can always trust a Nigerian politician to do is fornicate with party membership, especially around elections.

    On August 29th, 2022, the presidential candidate of the People’s Democratic Party (PDP), Atiku Abubakar, travelled down to Kano for a lavish celebration. The party held the ceremony in honour of a prodigal son that had just returned to its fold — Senator Ibrahim Shekarau.

    Game of Votes

    Shekarau left the PDP in 2018 when he joined the All Progressives Congress (APC). And there was similar fanfare when he dumped the APC for the New Nigeria People’s Party (NNPP) three months ago in May 2022.

    Shekarau proves the science that Nigerian politicians can’t be trusted to stick to one party, and you can always expect them to move in the thirst for power. Even the Atiku that went to welcome him in Kano has moved across parties four times since 2007. Well, he wants to be president, and the game is the game. 

    Game of Votes

    What this culture of repeated defection highlights is there are no ideological principles guiding Nigeria’s politics. No wonder the country is in the state that it is.

    Have You Seen This Video?

    Question of the Week

    How many Nigerian political parties are participating in the 2023 general elections?

    Click here to tweet your answer to @ZikokoCitizen on Twitter.

    Ehen, one more thing…

    Buhari publicly assured Nigerians he’ll allow them to vote for whoever they want in 2023, and we can only wonder, “What kind of democratic president allows democratic stuff to happen?” Such a weird guy.

    Don’t forget to subscribe to the Game of Votes newsletter.

  • How to Stay Safe in Nigeria — Tips from the Nigerian Police

    How to Stay Safe in Nigeria — Tips from the Nigerian Police

    There’s nothing the Nigerian Police Force cannot do. Sure, they can protect you as it says in their job description, but they can also be your worst enemy. They can make up crimes that don’t exist at (illegal) checkpoints, or they can go on Twitter to post safety tips for your benefit.

    These safety tips on how to navigate Nigeria come directly from the Police:

    “Never use car stickers that say where you work, especially if you have a prestigious job.”

    Vehicles are only made for hilarious inscriptions.

    “Never share pictures of your kids in their school uniforms or badges. Protect your kids!”

    Useful safety tips from the Nigerian Police Force

    Unless you’re sure your kids can protect themselves, of course.

    “When you attend parties, don’t let the band get you so high that you start spraying money. Use an envelope.”

    Stop showing off.

    “Don’t be the one that tries to empty the ATM machine by making large withdrawals. You don’t need 50k in your wallet to feel like a man.”

    Useful safety tips from the Nigerian Police Force

    Seriously, stop showing off. Hot kidnappers in your area are waiting to hook up.

    “Always delete your bank transaction notifications, especially SMS. You really can memorise your bank balance…shred your POS/ATM receipts.”

    To be honest, this is sound advice to protect yourself against criminals and police officers at checkpoints.

    ALSO READ: 5 “Normal Things” The Nigerian Police Can Arrest You For

    “Don’t go jogging while it’s dark, you really should be smarter than that. If you can, get someone trusted as company.”

    Useful safety tips from the Nigerian Police Force

    It can either mean potential kidnappers will be discouraged, or you’ll at least have company in captivity.

    “Always lock your doors, even if you’re only going out to switch off your generator.”

    Useful safety tips from the Nigerian Police Force

    Don’t leave room for all the weapons fashioned against you to prosper.

    “NEVER NEVER, NEVER EVER WEAR YOUR ID card outside your workplace. No one needs to know where you work.”

    No one needs to know you’re a pornography historian or whatever it is you do.

    “Be accountable to your spouse or parents, let someone know where you are at every point.”

    “I’m on my way to the strip club. Tell the children I’ll be home before dinner.”

    “As much as you can, don’t send kids alone on errands outside your house, they’re soft targets.”

    Useful safety tips from the Nigerian Police Force

    Again, ignore this advice only if the child can square up in a fight.

    ALSO READ: How to Become a Gun Owner in Nigeria

    “Don’t try to show that you are the richest in the neighbourhood by making large donations in your estate meetings, learn modesty.”

    Don’t do as the spirit leads. Resist the urge.

    “When you give, give with modesty and privately, and learn to say “I can’t spare that amount now.”

    The “Urgent 2k” industry won’t be happy with this message.

    “Don’t stay late in your office long after closing hours. That deadline work can be done later or at home if you wish.”

    Always be home early enough for the 7 o’clock news, unless you stay in Lagos.

    “Make safety the number one factor in your decision always!”

    Stay jiggy – Nigerian Police Force.

    “Mind what you post about yourself on social media.”

    Useful safety tips from the Nigerian Police Force

    How many times do you really need to tweet that your money grows like grass?

    ALSO READ: You Only Need Three Things at Nigerian Police Checkpoints

  • Lekki Toll Gate: What We Know About The #OcccupyLekkiTollGate Situation

    Lekki Toll Gate: What We Know About The #OcccupyLekkiTollGate Situation
    Courtesy: BBC Pidgin

    Citizen is a column that explains how the government’s policies fucks citizens and how we can unfuck ourselves.

    Lekki Toll Gate is currently under strict surveillance by members of the Nigerian Police Force.

    Why?

    After the Lagos Judicial Panel announced its approval for the reopening of Lekki Toll Gate on February 6, 2021, Nigerians online did not waste time voicing their displeasure regarding that decision.

    This move by the Lagos Judicial Panel, which has been tasked with investigating the cases of police violence in Lagos and particularly the shooting of innocent protesters at the Lekki Toll Gate, inspired the #OccupyLekkiTollGate protest slated to happen today, February 13, 2021, at 7 a.m.

    https://twitter.com/ladele446/status/1358788471838621697?s=20

    With this latest protest call gaining momentum and garnering support from Nigerians online, the Federal Government of Nigeria issued a warning to protesters asking them to abandon the planned demonstrations.

    What exactly did the government say?

    Speaking at a press conference in Abuja, on Thursday, the Minister of Information and Culture, Lai Mohammed said, “At this time, the chances that any peaceful protest will be hijacked are very high.” He also admitted that while peaceful protests are constitutionally permitted, there are no guarantees that the latest protests would be nonviolent. “Based on the intelligence at the disposal of the federal government, some Nigerian activists have linked up with others outside Nigeria, including subversive elements, with a view to destabilising the country. We cannot, and must not, allow this to happen,” he said.

    But that wasn’t the only opposition to the #OccupyLekkiTollGate protests.

    The Minister’s speech followed at the heels of #ProtectLagos, a planned counter-protest organized by unidentified bodies in response to the planned #OccupyLekkiTollGate demonstrations, which the Minister failed to take note of, or speak on.

    What’s happening now?

    According to numerous eye-witness reports and visual evidence uploaded on social media, the Nigerian Police Force stationed themselves at the Lekki Toll Gate yesterday, Friday, February 12, 2021, just as the Minister’s speech promised.

    https://twitter.com/OnoBello/status/1360318511059525635?s=20

    But even though the Lagos state CP claimed the police officers at Lekki Toll Gate “ are there to keep peace and orderliness in that environment”,” the situation is much different.

    The police officers on the ground were seen earlier today chanting, “No retreat, No surrender!” in anticipation of protesters who are coming out today.

    Right now, over 20 suspected protesters have been arrested. 

    From what can be deduced from BBC Pidgin Live, people are being assaulted before being arrested without any explanation. With only a few people just gathering at the protest location, the police officers have been carting away people walking around the area, leaving out only the journalists, themselves, and the cars driving past the toll gate.

    https://twitter.com/aproko_naija/status/1360500256249626624?s=20

    This is the moment they arrested popular comedian and social activist Debo Adebayo, (aka) Mr. Macaroni.

    https://fb.watch/3DjrvTikh2/

    A clip of Mr. Adebayo held alongside other Nigerians in a Black Maria before his phone was allegedly taken away from him.

    https://twitter.com/TundeEddnut/status/1360497332320673792?s=20

    And here are videos of other arrests being carried out without explanations or provocations.

    What are people doing about it?

    For one, the #Endsars Legal team seem to be abreast of the situation and are working to secure the release of those who have been arrested.

    As things stand now, it is unclear if the protest will go on as planned, but from recent reports from Channels Television on the situation, Lekki Toll Gate is still mostly occupied by journalists covering the developments and police officers ready to arrest more protesters. We will continue to update you as things develop.