Nigerian money | Zikoko!

After the Nigerian government and people who eat semo, inflation is up there among the reasons living in Nigeria is a struggle. The others are heat, fuel scarcity or the fact that you don’t own a pet goat.

If you’re unfamiliar with the term, inflation describes the increasing price of goods and services. When people’s salaries aren’t increasing, that’s where the real problem is. In more Nigerian terms, inflation is the reason sardine is gold. In the past three years, the price of sardine has moved from ₦180 to ₦600. In the middle of all this, ₦10k in 2019 feels like ₦1k in 2022. Do you get the flow? Whenever prices skyrocket, that surge is an increase in inflation.

RELATED: 5 Nigerians Talk About Navigating Inflation

So, how are business owners managing the ever-increasing cost of goods? In this article, eight small-business owners talk about navigating inflation.

1. “Shipping and clearing fees are the absolute ghetto”

— Wigmaker

I’ve been running my wig business since 2017. Typically, I order hair from Vietnam, so the value of Naira affects me badly. Since 2017, the exchange rate has moved from ₦300 to $1 to about ₦360 to $1 in 2019 and now, we’re trading at ₦450-₦500 to $1.

In 2019, when I shipped goods worth 10kg, I was charged $5-$7 per kg. It wasn’t cheap, but at least it was easier to cover the cost than it is now. I could buy the weaves at ₦40k and add in ₦30k-₦40k to sell at profit to also cover my shipping and clearing cost. Now, I can barely do that.

RELATED: Nigeria’s Inflation Rate Has Hit A New High. Here’s What That Could Mean For Everyone

In 2021, my shipping cost moved from a maximum of $7 to $12 for the same 10kg of hair. There were times I had to work at an exchange rate of $570-$620. That’s almost double my initial cost for shipping and clearing goods in 2019. I struggled to cover the cost and, my profit margin plummeted. From buying weaves at ₦40k in 2019, it’s doubled to ₦90k by the middle of 2021. Now, I sell based on pre-orders. It’s the only way to avoid buying so many weaves and selling very few in a matter of months. Honestly, the situation is tough.

2. “I’ve gone from buying butter at ₦8k to ₦ 18k”

— Baker

Right now, raw materials have doubled or tripled in price. For instance, in 2018 I used to buy a tub of butter for ₦8k- ₦ ₦10k. Now, I buy the tub for ₦18-₦20k. Raw materials are also scarce because brands can’t afford to manufacture at the same rate. People now produce counterfeit or low-quality products to maintain customers. In 2022, it takes a good baker to identify the fake products in the market.

I’ve lost customers because of the review in my price, and getting more has been so difficult. In 2018, people typically ordered cakes and small chops for fun. Now? No one orders a cake or box of small chops for leisure. If it’s not an important event like a birthday or anniversary, demand is quite low.

My profit margin has significantly decreased. It’s either I’m covering the cost on my end, or not getting customers at all. Even when Nigerians order, it’s budget cakes — ₦10k, ₦12k — anything more doesn’t happen as much. I can’t even think of expanding as a business. Beyond the poor market, I can’t think of buying an industrial oven with my account balance. The business will suffer.

3. “There are no customers for us to cover the cost of rent”

— Salon owner

Two years after losing my bank job, I decided to open up a saloon in 2013. I wasn’t interested in making hair, I only wanted to sub-let to hairdressers and barbers. The rent was about ₦600k, and I was sub-letting for ₦20k per month. People flocked at the offer — I got six hairdressers, a nail technician and two barbers. As the years went by, the rent increase. I moved from paying ₦600k to ₦800k in five years.

By then, the price for each space gradually increase. 2018, half of the hairdressers couldn’t cover the cost and left. We went from busy weekdays and weekends to barely any customers during peak hours on a Saturday. Eventually, we were down to three people. Currently, my rent is ₦800k. My profit margin moved from nearly ₦150k in 2013 to barely ₦100k between the three people currently in the saloon. Some months I have to overlook the payment because honestly, there are no customers for them.

RELATED: #NairaLife: She’s 22, and She’s Changing Careers for the Third Time

4. “To keep my customers, I sell cooking gas based on how buoyant a person looks”

— Gas retailer

In 2009, I started selling cooking gas. When I started, gas was selling at ₦2k for 12.5kg and ₦9k-₦10k for the 50kg. Now, 12.5kg is going at ₦7950 and the 50kg is ₦31,800. That’s even when the gas is filled. For the empty cylinders, the 12.5kg was ₦6k-₦8k, while the 50kg cylinder was ₦26k-28k. Now, those 50kg cylinders are sold from ₦40k upwards. How do the retailers gain any profit? My profit margin was at least ₦1k in 2009 and relatively stayed the same because customers won’t buy if the gas is too expensive. So I’m earning the same thing in an economy where ₦1k is like ₦100.

To push it up a bit, I started selling based on how buoyant a customer looked. If you’re a rich man or woman, I’ll add the ₦500 another person can’t pay inside your cost. Since the economy doesn’t favour me, I have to find a way to keep customers.

5. “Fruits are like gold in the market”

— Juice seller

When I started selling fresh juice with my mum, we were selling a bottle for as low as ₦350-400. That was 2020. While we were using recycled bottles, we were making a profit of ₦200 per bottle. Then we began to make branded bottles and it dropped to about ₦120-₦150. It’s been two years since we started and we had to review our prices in January 2020. Between the fire incident at the store and the cost of fruits like pineapples and oranges, it was inevitable. The plan was to always maintain our price at ₦500 per bottle now, it’s going from ₦1k-₦2k. With the cost of production, it’s impossible.

6. “Stop swearing for tailors”

— Fashion designer

I’ve been a fashion designer since 2013. Although I took breaks in between to focus on my family, I ran my business on the side. The cost of production has continuously, but this fuel scarcity has made my life miserable. My transformer blew and now I’m at the mercy of NEPA. When there’s no light, I still need to run my light machines, so buying fuel is inevitable.

Now, I’m buying fuel at ₦400 per litre and my earnings from the clothes I’m currently sewing, won’t cover that cost. Logistics is also expensive and customers aren’t patient enough to understand. In a matter of months, I’ve had to review my prices. I can’t even afford to buy an industrial machine I was able to afford in 2018. Now, it’s ₦140k — double the initial price.

7. “Customers need to understand, we’re in a pandemic of our own”

— Restaurant owner

In 2019, I started my restaurant business in university. By March 2020, I was able to expand into a bigger space in uni, but the pandemic shut us down within weeks. Deliveries were the only way to keep running. At that point, prices of foodstuffs were already going up, but I didn’t want to review my prices. Students were our main customers, so increasing prices would have been detrimental. 2021 was a whole other level for us. We went from paying about ₦300 per litre for diesel in 2020 to about ₦400 in 2021. Last week it was ₦510. Now, it’s ₦555. That’s more than a 50% increase on diesel alone. Imagine the cost of electricity bill or foodstuff?

While the prices go up, we still have the government coming down our throats with tax. The situation is appalling. It feels like business owners are going through another pandemic on their own.

8. “I have to pay my staff out of pocket”

— Hairdresser

I’ve had a shop at Garki market, Abuja, for ten years. The service charge used to be ₦15k per year in 2012 and now, it’s ₦30k. The saving has been my landlord not increasing rent. However, keeping up with my staff’s salary is difficult. When I got my first set of staff in 2015, I was paying them ₦12k- ₦19k depending on their location. Now, it’s not even significant to how much they spend on transport. I’ve had to review their salary to ₦20k- ₦25k. In the bad months, it’s out of my pocket.

ALSO READ: NaireLife: This 36-Year-Old Lecturer Is Also a Photographer, Marketer And Full-Tim e Husband

Ortega

March 14, 2022

Money

Inflation Rate, money, money struggles, Nigerian business owners, Nigerian money, small businesses in Nigeria
They say two heads are better than one, and this article proves that Zikoko is the only head you need to be great. In this article, we’re giving you the inside gist on growing a money tree. Forget capitalism. Follow these seven steps and you’ll hit the jackpot.

1. Find a seed, obviously

It can be the seed of the womb, an agbalumo seed; just find a seed to plant.

RELATED: If They Do These 6 Things When Eating Agbalumo, Hide From Them

2. Borrow holy water from your local church or find your ancestors

If you know anything about agriculture, a seed needs water to grow. For a money tree? The water has to be the ones purified by your either your village people or your local church. Whichever works for you.

3. Eat egbo (sacrifice)

This isn’t Nollywood, so we’re not asking for a blood sacrifice. Just go under the bridge or inside a bush, and look very well. Anything you see wrapped in a calabash is with food is egbo. Eat it. That’s how you’ll access your village people to bless the water.

4. Eat the rich

This isn’t a sacrifice, it’s a necessity. Money only comes to those who have it. So why not eat the ones that already do? Start with the people buying sardine. They’re all criminals.

RELATED: “I Now Outsource Things I Once Did With My Friends” — 5 Nigerians on Being the Rich Friend

5. Wear a “My money grows like grass” t-shirt to sleep every night

We’re going for affirmations — speak it, think it, wear it. If you don’t have, attend our events and collect Zikoko merch. No need to thank us, it’s for the cause.

6. Talk to the trees

Go into the forest and spend the night lamenting about everything going on in Nigeria. From fuel scarcity to the heatwave, some of the trees might just pity you and grow money.

Now for the final step…

7. Use the last money in your account to eat

Farming is a lot of work. That’s why Uncle Bubu wanted to send us there as lazy youths. For this tree to grow, you need strength. A hungry man cannot plant or grow anything. So my dear, eat.

Please note, these seven steps should be done within three to five working days.

ALSO READ: #NairaLife: She’s 22, and She’s Changing Careers for the Third Time

Ortega

March 11, 2022

Inside Life

funny nigerians, money, Nigerian money
Men are always claiming women are rich but never spend their own money. Let’s put it to the test, In this article, six women share their savings journey with us and their money plans for 2022.

1. Ifechi, 25

When I was four, whenever visitors gave me money, I was allowed to keep it for myself. There was no “let me hold it for you” from my mother. I’d save up the ₦10 or ₦20 from visitors and blow it on condensed milk at the school canteen.

As I got older, the habit of saving money stuck, but my motivation changed. It started with my parents’ accident in JSS 3. For some reason, the incident sent me into a state of panic. Seeing my parents spend so much money made me worried about blowing my money on random desires like condensed milk. My parents got better and our finances went back to normal, but I was paranoid about the possibility of an accident happening again. At that point, I began saving to never spend. Call it paranoia, but I was always fearing the worst.

I didn’t feel financially secure until I got my first job in 2020. earned enough to start saving ₦100k every month. The paranoia was still there, but at least my bank account moved up, so I stopped saving solely for unplanned emergencies. The first expensive thing I saved up to get was a Macbook. Later, I started a savings plan for a car. The target for my car was 2022 and I was putting away at least ₦1.2 million each year. It’s 2020 now, but I don’t really need to get the car immediately. A friend has been driving me around town, so why stress?

Now, I’m focused on saving in dollars. My next goal is to double my ₦100k savings per month by 2023.

2. Hauwa, 41

I was late on the savings culture because of the strikes that held me back in school and the difficult job market in the early 2000s. The most I had done was ₦5k per month from my NYSC allowee in 2002. I was saving up for a Nokia flip phone.

After that, I didn’t get a job that paid well enough until 2007. I was 26 and started earning about ₦208k per annum as a trainee in the bank. Three years later, I was promoted and my salary moved to about ₦400k per month. The growth was great, but I felt like age wasn’t on my side anymore. I was putting money away to have enough money to assist whatever man I finally married with wedding bills. Honestly, at the time, it made sense. But while I was waiting for someone’s son to find me, I also put money away for a degree in the UK.

In my 30s, I was focused on saving to invest my earnings and it’s something I’m proud of. Now, I earn interest rates from treasury bills, stocks and my fixed deposit account. I believe it’s way better than leaving the money idle at the bank. In 2018, I moved into cryptocurrency with the money I had saved up from my bank job. Crypto is now the percentage of my income that covers my rent.

3. Hannah, 23

In January 2020, I wanted to start a fixed deposit account to save my allowee. The whole process was confusing. My friends had been raving about saving with a group through ajo. I didn’t have anything to lose so I joined them in February. We were 12 in the group and each person contributed ₦20k per month. By December, I got my ₦120k and started another round in 2021.

Right now, I’m still saving up money on the group to rent an apartment. If I get it right this year, I’d like to visit Kenya for Christmas. To make that happen, I’ve moved my Ajo contribution to ₦100k per month.

RELATED: Live Vicariously Through These 5 Nigerian Women Exploring Africa

4. Kemi, 27

I didn’t have any savings until 2021. Before, I wasn’t as committed to keeping to a yearly target — please don’t stress me. I’d put money away in a savings app, but it was easy to transfer the money back to my main account when I had any issues. I really didn’t take my finances seriously until I had to grow my nail tech business after university. Unfortunately, I didn’t have the capital. I was collecting only ₦12k from my parents and that barely covered the cost of feeding in a private university. I got a few bottles of nail polishes, but I needed more.

When NYSC started, I was able to save ₦21k per month from my allowance. By the end of the year, I got a ring light and bought a phone for better pictures. In 2022, my nail business has grown enough to save ₦30k per month. Right now, I just want to be able to afford gifts for my friends.

RELATED: “I’m a Firefighter At My Job” — A Week in the Life of a Fintech Marketer

5. Tina, 24

In 2020Imy colleagues and I were saving part of our salary with an ajo that summed up to about ₦200k for each person. With ajo, each person collects the bulk money that is saved per month. So in a group of 10, each member was saving ₦20k to meet up with the ₦200k. In December, I got my share of the money. I used it to settle my bills and start a fruit juice business. So that took all the money I had until 2021. I was saving for a phone for the end of the year, but I didn’t make it. I also needed to change my clothes and get better bags — I wanted to look more like a lady. So once my savings reached ₦70k, I gave up and took out the money to buy the clothes and bags I needed. This year, I plan to make it through the year with savings. I don’t have a specific goal yet but I’m working on it.

6. Amara, 27

I’m just taking it one step at a time and trying to survive. I didn’t get a job until 2019 — I was earning ₦50k and saving ₦30k. I was living with my uncle at the time and focused on saving up for my own space. Along the way, I spent from the savings to sort out family needs and cover transportation costs in Lagos. By 2020, I was able to get a shared apartment in Orile for ₦100k. I’ve gotten a better job, so my “big mummy goal” now is to be able to afford a place where I won’t have to share the kitchen or toilet with other people.

Ortega

March 10, 2022

Her

money, money habits, Nigerian money, Nigerian women, saving money
One thing I can assure you that most humans think is money. Whether its the joy of getting it or the fear losing/not making enough of it, we’re all thinking of money. Today, we’ve going to talk about the fears people have about money.. In this article, 10 Nigerians, on different pay grades, talk about their anxieties with money.

1. “Absolutely nothing”

— Gbenga, 45

I work as a development consultant, and beyond my salary, I have slowly invested in equity and stocks. I’ve come a long way from earning in Naira. In my 20s, I understood that money comes and goes. Maybe the open relationship with my father about money helped. He earned good money as a pilot but never shied away from saying “No Gbenga, we can’t afford that.” Now that I earn $250,000 per month, nothing scares me about money. I could wake up broke tomorrow, and I’d start all over again with no worries. I have the network, so why fear?

2. “Impromptu emergencies”

— Fisayo, 26

As the breadwinner of my family, I’m scared of the uncertainty of each month. When my salary drops, I save over half of it. Not because I want to, but because I’m scared of the billings. Like the month I had to spend my entire ₦800k on my father’s dialysis. I feel like I’m in a rat race that’ll never end, and that terrifies me.

3. “I’m losing old friends as I earn more”

— Chiamaka, 31

I grew up in a village in Enugu, and the biggest fear I have about money is leaving the people I started with behind. My friends and I moved to Lagos and in seven years, I’m the only one that has consistently grown. Earning ₦1.5 million monthly doesn’t feel as great because I have to hold back on the balling I want to do.

4. “I’ll never be more”

— Sandra, 28

I worry that I’ll feel too comfortable and never make it past where I am. I’ve been earning ₦600k a month for four years and haven’t been able to move up. ₦600k isn’t even worth what it was in 2018 so it feels like I’m earning ₦200k. As the years go by, it feels like I’m regressing because Nigeria will always mess up the purchasing power of whatever I’m earning..

5. “Never making more of it”

— Paul, 30

I’m scared I’ll never make it in life. I’m earning ₦80k month at 30, and It’s hard to keep trusting I can move up the ladder.

6. “Affording luxury”

— Patricia, 27

This may seem shallow, but I’m scared of spending my whole life working without living life. I want to be able to afford designer bags, clothes, take a vacation — the fine things of life. With my ₦200k monthly salary, I’m scared it will never happen. There’s some progress in life, but I’m scared of spending my whole life working and never actually living.

7. “Finding who to spend it with”

— Fred, 38

When it comes to money, I’m worried about not finding someone to match my energy. I don’t want an entitled partner. I want someone who has big money goals and a saving culture — it’s tough on these streets. ₦5 million a month is great, but with the way the economy is, it’s also nothing.

8. “Spending all of it on my kids”

— Aisha, 45

I love them to death, but my kids are so entitled and lackadaisical with life. I have a son who’s 25 years old and has refuses to either go to college or get a job. I know it’s not helping, but I also can’t say no. As a single mother, I’m scared he’ll find a less than reputable way to get the money. I earn at least $100,000 per annum and most of it goes into indulging my kids. I really don’t know how to hold back at this point.

9. “That one day, the POS will reject my card”

— Irene, 26

₦100k a month isn’t enough money, but I’ll never hold back from a good time. How can I live a life without Alfredo pasta? For me, I just hope my card doesn’t get declined at a restaurant. I’m really not bothered about anything concerning money besides that. Overthinking how much I make won’t change anything. After all, YOLO.

10. “I think about my pension a lot”

— Ben, 77

I’m an old man, so money doesn’t mean as much to me. The only thing I think about is whether I worked enough to live on my pension. I gave 40 years to the police force and it wasn’t great money because moving up the rank was difficult. My children are there to help me, but I don’t want to be a burden. I’m not sure about how much I have left, but I hope my pension lasts until my final day my final day.

Ortega

March 3, 2022

Money

dollars, money, Nigerian money
No matter how tough things are, Nigerians can never be too broke to afford these seven things. We can talk about inflation from now till next year, but nothing can stop us from spending money on these seven things.

1. Sharwama

Everyone keeps complaining about inflation, but who are the people buying shawarma? Why are there more sharwama stands opening up if we’re too broke? These are the questions we need answers to.

2. Transport for knacks

Nigerians and fornication are like 5 & 6, so being too broke for knacks is an unimaginable reality. The money will come out, especially for the side dicks and chicks — they will find a way.

3. Petrol

Fuel went from ₦65 per litre in 2009 to ₦165 per litre in 2022 and Nigerians are still turning on generators and driving fuel-sucking cars every day. If it were really an issue we should have resorted to trekking by now.

4. Data

This one has Nigerians on a chokehold. If you don’t convince yourself to buy at least ₦1k data every two days, then you’re not a Nigerian.

5. Hair

Nigerians won’t compromise on beauty. There’s no amount of inflation that will make a Nigerian man break up with his barber or stop Nigerian women from using land money to buy human hair.

6. Apple products

The dollar is rising, the dollar is rising, but half the country owns either an iPhone or MacBook pro. Who are the people patronising Apple? Stop telling lies.

7. Indomie

Indomie will always be a lifesaver on rainy days. No matter how expensive it gets, onion flavoured will forever be the king of noodles and we’ll keep buying it.

Ortega

February 12, 2022

Inside Life

money, Nigerian money
Last time, we told you about some of the worst experiences Nigerians have had with borrowing money. This time, we’re exploring how Nigerians have attempted to save and all the drama in between. Five Nigerians shared their worst experiences using Ajo. All we can say is, before you drop that ₦10k, read this. Ehe.

1. “The Ajo lead collected first”

Daniel

I was in debt after the whole thing. My barber and I were close and he talked me into joining an Ajo group one of colleagues started. There were savings as a business so I felt it was alright. I should have known there was a problem when the guy starting the group insisted on collecting first to prove we were serious. My guy kept telling me nothing could go wrong. Telling me “Baba if anything wan shele I fit find this nigga clear am.” — Mtshw, money I borrowed from my brother. All I can say is, never again.

2. “Iya Oloja died on my own month”

Dunni

Why is my own always different please? Why? This is the first and last time I will do this rubbish please. A friend asked me to join a group run by a woman in their community. It was trustworthy enough since mama couldn’t run away now. Little did I know that mama only had two months to live. She ended up passing away when it was time for me to collect my own contribution and no one knows where this woman was keeping the money. I’m even angry just thinking about it.

3. “He promised to pay his share later”

Amaka

I started an Ajo group to save money in school. One of the people contributing lost his job and asked me to help him pay for just one or two months. I was fine with it until other members of the group started asking me to pay for them too — it was either they lost their jobs or had urgent family matters they needed to handle. I kept covering up so the group wouldn’t fall apart, but from paying my own ₦10k each month, I moved to ₦60k because of other people. When they eventually paid me back, it was in small insignificant amounts. I was disgusted by the whole thing.

4. “Ajo Lead borrowed the one million naira for a trip with his family”

Shubi

It was November 2020 and I was kind of broke. One day, I got into a conversation with the woman who had a POS shop on my street. Somehow, we started talking about saving money for the next year and she suggested joining her Ajo group. Initially I was skeptical but she swore that she had collected her money back the last — so why not? Later that evening, she shared my number with the group head and he added me to the Whatsapp group. The main group had ten people paying ₦200k to collect one million naira each month. But for individuals like me that couldn’t afford to pay ₦200k, we were paired with four people to contribute ₦50k and split the one million naira.

Everything was cool until December. A few days before Christmas, the man coordinating the group chat sent a message to the group. I couldn’t believe my eyes at first. He said he needed to borrow one million naira for our group for a trip with his family — I thought it was bants. Until true true, December 31st came and baba didn’t say anything. I went to meet the POS lady and she kept telling me to be patient. One year later and I’m still being patient. The POS woman has even packed out of her shop and blocked my number.

5. “I didn’t know them from Adam”

Kingsley

Hm. My story was a big mumu experience because I didn’t know these people from Adam. I found a savings group for women online. The group was called Lagos big babes and the fee was ₦500 — that should have been my cue to turn back, but no. Apart from needing the money for my rent, I was hoping to meet women that were open to exploring — the possibility of pleasure while saving didn’t seem so bad. My eye cleared when I woke up one morning to find the group chat closed. There was nobody on the group chat again, even the babe I had been flirting with for a few weeks stopped picking my calls. That was one month of my salary gone and nowhere closer to getting an apartment. That was my own foolishness sha.

Ortega

January 22, 2022

Money

Ajo, money habits, Nigerian money, saving money
Every single year you’re chasing the bag, but where are the millions in your account? While we understand that you deserve that baby boy/baby girl lifestyle on a yacht in Dubai, we’re pretty sure at least one of these eight things have hooked your millionaire lifestyle somewhere.

1. African Mothers

If you said no every time your mother said, “Come now, let me keep it for you,” we could have been on the Forbes list. You may have chopped slap or ended up homeless, but at least you would have kept the money for yourself.

2. Data and airtime

Everyday 1k here 2k here. Just hold your calculator and add up everything you’ve spent this week alone on data or airtime, that’s where the millions have been hiding in your life.

3. You missed the dip

When your mates were investing in crypto you were there explaining how everything is a scam and how you don’t believe in free money. Well, it’s another day of hardwork o, where are the millions?

4. Last borns

All they know how to do is beg, blackmail, enjoy your hard earned money buying rubbish, while disrespecting us. These are the thieves in our lives and they need to be destroyed.

5. You’ve refused to be a sugar baby

You’re forming, “I can’t, I can’t.” My dear, that’s why your account can’t as well. Nobody can shame the shameless on these streets. Better come outside and collect this money with your full chest.

6. Baba Dudu and Goody Goody

You may have been competing with Dangote if you didn’t spend all the five-five naira you received on sweets as a child.

7. Your father

Where was he when his mates were chopping from the national cake? Just go and ask him, then fight for your inheritance.

8. Your village people are alive and well

May your destiny be released from the clutches of the people that have said no to the millions in your life. You can connect with Mummy G.O. for more results.

9. No savings to your name

Your response to everything is, “I only live once. if I perish, I perish.” I hope you can see the single digits in your bank account. My only advice is for you to buy those wooden kolos that only carpenters can open for you.

10. Love

Your millions have entered a well at this point, and I don’t know if we can find it again. If you’re not going to eat at one fancy restaurant, you’re out on the streets professing love with gifts. I’m sure you’ve even booked your date for Valentine’s day. Continue.

Ortega

January 11, 2022

Inside Life

Funny memes, Millionaire, money struggles, Nigerian money
You’d have to either be crazy rich or have a sharp colour memory to ace this quiz.

Good luck!

Miriam Onyemenam

November 5, 2021

I Too Sabi, Quizzes

bank, bank account, Banks, money, Nigerian money, rich, rich Nigerians, Sinzu
You already know that Don Jazzy is the king of social media giveaways. If you don’t, then it’s either you’re inactive on social media or you don’t like good things.

Another thing you should know is that Zikoko is always here for you and because of that, we’ll show you how to win Don Jazzy’s money:

1. Add your Abeg username to your Twitter bio

If you still don’t have an Abeg account, it’s like you’re not serious. Do you expect Don Jazzy to come to your DM and ask for your account number? Please do the needful and if you’re feeling extra generous add our Abeg username (e.g. @zikokomag) to your other social media bios.

2. Comment your Vbank account number under all his tweets

You want Don Jazzy to send you money and you don’t have a Vbank account? Must be some kind of joke. What if he doesn’t feel like sending money on Abeg that day? Who will you tell your story?

3. Become Ayra Starr’s biggest fan

Don Jazzy is always hyping her so if you join him in the hyping, you’ll make this thing easier for yourself. Anywhere you hear “vibe killer“, just start dancing and tell someone to film you. Post the video on Twitter and tag everybody that needs to be tagged.

4. Become Johnny Drille’s biggest fan

Go and stream his album and take screenshots of each song. Then, every hour, post a screenshot with a caption that shows you’re enjoying his songs. Don’t forget to make sure Don Jazzy and his whole family sees your tweets.

5. Add “Don Jazzy” to your Twitter display name

Whether it’s “Don Jazzy’s Side Chick” or “I LOVE DON JAZZY” just find a way to insert his name there. It will definitely stand you out and increase your chances of being helped.

6. Sprinkle a little desperation

By desperation, we don’t mean you should go and disgrace yourself in Don Jazzy’s DM because if you mess up and he blocks you, the show is over for you. Be desperate on the TL. Mention Don Jazzy everywhere and he will notice you.

7. Laugh at all of Don Jazzy’s tweets

Even if you don’t find it funny go there and laugh. Flood those tweets with laughing emojis. You never know, one day Don Jazzy might be in a good mood and he’ll decide to help your life. Don’t go and mistakenly laugh at a sensitive tweet sha. We’ll just deny you.

8. Fight him

If everything else fails, you can pick a fight with Don Jazzy on the TL. The disadvantage of this is that you probably won’t win any money but what’s that thing they say about when the going gets tough?

Disclaimer: Whatever you see while following these steps, collect it with your chest and don’t involve us (except that part about adding our Abeg tag). Love and light!

Miriam Onyemenam

September 9, 2021

Inside Life

Don Jazzy, giveaway, money, Nigerian money
Money is such an important part of our lives. It’s amazing how we manage to talk about it without really talking about it. In this article, I asked seven Nigerian women to talk about their relationship with money. Here’s what they had to say:

Evi, 21

I like to think my relationship with money is casual. I do not spend but I also do not save as much as I would like. I wrote a book and selling it has earned me money. Sometimes I write freelance. On average, I earn about 20k monthly. I am very calculative about how I spend it. Some of it goes to school assignment and projects. I also make contributions at church. Sometimes, I support my family using a part of it. I love giving people money because I believe what goes around comes around.

Fegor, 23

I am more of a save-it-all person when it comes to money. For a long time, I didn’t know how to spend money because I was used to not having a lot of money. But in 2020, I met this man on the internet. He is about 20 years older than I am. He sends me money often depending on when I ask or how he feels. I wouldn’t call him a sugar daddy because we have never met. The amount he sends fluctuates but since I met him in June he has sent me about 3 million Naira. Now I make sure I spend money on myself without feeling guilt or remorse but I still save aggressively.

Fatima, 51

Money was always scarce when I was a child not because we didn’t have it but because I grew up in a polygamous home. My father was headmaster at a school so he earned well for his time but he had two wives who had over ten children combined. He had to do a scale of preference when it came to giving his family and my mum’s side of the family was always at the bottom of the list. Because of this, I save money as soon as I get it. I believe that if you spend today when you don’t have to, you won’t have anything to use tomorrow. I tell all my children this. Saving money has helped my life so many times.

Destiny, 20

I like my relationship with money — I think it is healthy. I’m not a big spender so when I spend money, it has to be on things that are important and beneficial to me. I save a lot because I am scared of being broke. Currently, I work as a manager for my father. I earn about 50k monthly and I have to forego a lot of things so I can save it. I also invest some of the money in a farm. I believe if I can save enough, I could get whatever the hell I want.

Grey, 25

I grew up being comfortable. I didn’t notice class until I grew up and realized that some people are poor and others are rich. Because of how I grew up I don’t have a habit of hoarding money. My relationship with money is flexible. When it comes, it comes. I spend what I have to survive — to get through each day. I think saving money is for when you have it. I like giving out money whenever I have it because everybody needs money in this country. Any amount goes a long way. I want to always be able to do that. However, I don’t have a lot of money to give. I also hate asking people for money because I don’t want to be a bother. I wish money wasn’t so much a measure of worth — it’s the worst thing about not having money.

Aisha, 19

My stepfather died when I was 9 and my mum has had to cater for our family since then. My mum is quite strict with money so I was grateful when I met my dad at 13. I call him from time to time to ask for money. I don’t believe in aggressive saving because I feel like I could die any minute and it would all be for nothing.

Tinu, 21

I am not prudent with money — I spend a lot but I am also very generous with money. I hate the idea of anyone giving me money. I feel like it reducing my idea of being independent. I never accept financial gifts and if I must, I always find a way to pay back the money.

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Mariam Sule

April 21, 2021

Her

money, Nigerian money, Nigerian women
Every week, Zikoko seeks to understand how people move the Naira in and out of their lives. Some stories will be struggle-ish, others will be bougie. All the time, it’ll be revealing.

Our subject this week is a 22-year old engineer. If you called him a genius, you won’t be lying. But sometimes, even that might not be enough. This is his #NairaLife.

How’s Lagos treating you?

Except for my rough transition from ₦109k per day to ₦109k per month, I’m mostly good.

Slow down, you say what?

Bro. Right after my Masters in Engineering – 1st class by the way – I got an internship in the San Francisco Bay area.

Silicon Valley.

Yep. When the recruiter told me, I thought I heard $30 per hour, I already called my mum to tell her “Mama I made it!” Then I did the math and well, it was actually $38 hahaha. At the time, I was dead broke actually. Had to borrow money to fix up my residence for the internship as per pay rent, buy a new laptop. Borrowed $2k. Paid back after two weeks.

Mad oh! But, how does one end up at an internship that pays $38 per hour?

Engineers are actually valued in America. Probably helped that I was in line for my 2nd first-class degree. Still, the biggest factor though is that the cost of living in the Silicon Valley area is insanely high. I knew undergrads in Facebook, Google and the likes making up to $50 an hour. To be fair though, I interned in the engineering team of one of the biggest companies in the world. That’s far from minimum wage jobs.

What type of engineering makes a person end up interning where you did?

Any type you can think of, to be honest – mechanical, computer, chemical – you name it. I’m an electrical engineer.

Insane. So, one BSc and one Masters degree?

Yup.

What type of financial stamina do you need to grab two degrees in the US where education is super expensive?

I got my first degree in Turkey actually. I had a scholarship all through my time there. Full ride scholarship in Nigeria for secondary school too.

I sabi book.

Henceforth, this is the flex that I will stan.

My father had to pay for my masters up to a point. There was the final $10k that I paid myself. Internship money.

How much did the entire program cost?

That guy tried for me oo, I just dey gauge am.

Over-try. So back to the internship. How long were you there for?

About seven months. I was working at least 40 hours a week. If you break that down to hours per day, how much does that give you?

$38 per hour multiplied by 8 hours a day. That’s 109,440 in naira. Per day.

Then when you work overtime you get paid 1.5x so $56 an hour for every hour after 40 hours. I was around $5.5k after tax.

I’m assuming they were chasing you home because overtime money is sweet.

Hahaha, when I was there, my company was trying to cut costs, so they limited overtime. My managers made me comply so I did an average maybe 44 hours a week.

I had a friend who did 80-hour weeks regularly though. Get this, from your 40th – 60th hour, you get 1.5x. After the 60th hour, you get paid 2x your base. After that internship, that guy fit buy house for Lekki.

This is the part where I ask what happened when the internship ended?

Bruh, a series of unfortunate events. The U.S. gives you three months after you graduate to find a job to secure a 3-year temporary stay, but I couldn’t find one.

Na where my screw up start.

Ugh.

Trump. It’s expensive filing papers for international workers by companies – Trump. Also, not having a strong network all played a part in not securing a job. There’s the part where I was picky about the kind of industry I wanted to work in.

But the biggest factor was time – three months is not a lot of time.

Anyway after about 150 applications, 20+ interviews I had to leave and come back home.

150 applications in 3 months?

Job application sef was a full-time job that time o.

Tell me about the day you knew you were coming home.

The final week in that three months window, I was in a state of despair. I’d done many things right you know: two first-class degrees, experience in one of the most important companies in the world but still.

The days of that week kept passing, no congratulatory emails. So I just gave up, took my card like three days before the three months elapsed and registered for NYSC.

When was this?

February 2019. I was in camp less than five days after I landed haha.

Mad oh. From one of the most advanced companies in the world to a Bootcamp. Inside life.

The theme song to my life that time was; “This is Super Story, a life of strife and sorrows”.

E be tings kraaa.

Chale!

When I came back and started preparing for camp, I fell sick, maybe the sickest I’ve ever been, yet the tests showed nothing.

It be your own village people.

I went to the camp and got an exeat the same day. Maybe my village people are welcoming. Or maybe moving from winter to classic dry season Nigerian weather.

Still, I was too Ajebo for camp abeg, and I’m not even ashamed to say it.

After camp?

I had a bunch of options, but I chose a particular energy investment company, and now I work there as their technical advisor.

So, I’m assuming these are the ₦109k/month people.

Yes. Which, in corper terms, could be a lot worse.

I’ve done a bit of everything since I’ve joined. I worked on getting my office completely solar in my first 3 months, designed systems and awarded the contracts. Fundamentally, I’ve made sure every opportunity my company pursued since I joined is technically sound. Basically, that’s technical due diligence in the investment process. I give them monthly lectures on the engineering aspects of the industry.

I have also – as it is tradition – ordered a lot of lunch.

Hahaha. Whose money?

My CEOs – I basically order food for the entire company. I’ve ordered at least ₦200k worth of lunch since I joined.

It’s a pretty good place though, and getting retained there would be ideal.

Qui –

I dunno why Nigerians treat interns anyhow compared to where I’m coming from. There, you are treated as an equal, makes sense because you are paid close to what the entry-level engineer makes.

Talking about internships. Tell me about the stark differences between a Nigerian Intern and an SF intern?

1. You don’t have to buy food as an SF intern.
2. More money.
3. In the Bay Area, people treat you like your equals.
4. Disposable income.

I know I have it good, I’m basically working at a place with good company culture. Still, Nigerians have this way of treating people who are beneath them anyhow and that translates in my office. The lack of workload and responsibility would have been a thing, but I have a lot of workload in my current place.

I would say this though, Silicon Valley was nice, good people, fast-paced, outdoors, hikes, a large variety of food. Good party scene too.

Now you know what city doesn’t have nice people, has no outdoors to speak of, and food is mostly 1 of 4 dishes?

I want to fight about the food, but that’s not why I’m here.

I mean, Lagos has a club scene, but you no fit club on ₦109k per month.

What does a drop from ₦109k per day to ₦109k per month do to a person’s mind?

I was prepared for it though so it wasn’t sudden. I know what other corpers earn. I’ve always been responsible when it comes to finances too, so now I budget hard and I stick to it. If I were making 3 million a month today I know exactly how I would spend it on because I have already lived that life.

But yes, once you’ve earned what I earned, you spend all your time constantly thinking of how long it would take you to earn that level again.

What are your expenses like these days?

NYSC finishes soon. What’s it looking like as per retention? How much is it looking like you’ll start with?

I know how much I would ask anybody for though. ₦500k for a local company, $60k per annum if it’s a foreign company, as per this life you gotta shoot for the stars.

Currently speaking to a couple of people, nothing is sure yet. I recently snagged a side hustle teaching, but it’s not consistent. ₦10k per session/day so whatever happens I would fall back on that.

What. Are. You. Teaching?

Maths. GRE/GMAT as per Japa season, me too I dey gain from am. Thank God for the useless economy making everybody want to Japa. And of course Trudeau, a good man.

You know, it would be nice to know what the going rate for tutoring GRE/GMAT is so I know whether or not to up my price. Please sneak it inside the post so I go read the replies.

What’s the future looking like though, say within the next 3-5 years?

Bro, one thing is I need to make money somehow. I’m pretty high performing, I get good feedback from people I work with, I just need that to reflect in my earnings.

I’m also passionate about the industry I’m currently working in so I hope to stick to it. Still, the industry is not as lucrative and I need it to be so I may have to change career path.

At the end of the day, I need at least a ₦500k per month pay by 2022. If not I’m off to Canada or wherever else. I learnt from my USA mistakes — my Japa will be final this time.

What you’re saying is, there are circumstances that can keep you here. By choice.

Yeah for sure. I want to be here. I am oddly patriotic. “Part of the change you want to see” kind of person. But, just what kind of change can you make if you’re hungry?

I work in the off-grid industry, providing electricity to the unelectrified. You can only do that in Africa and Nigeria has one the largest unelectrified population in the world.

Random – well, not really – but when was the last time you felt really broke?

I’m never actually that broke in that sense. I stick to my budget, I have savings. Maybe when I was at this Detty December event and it was so hard making a decision to get a 4k cocktail and I felt like, how I can be agonizing so much over what $12. I just felt bad, man.

That tradeoff goes through my head all the time – if I spend this X naira, what would I not be able to spend this X naira on, is that alternative not more valuable to me.

What’s something you honestly wish you were better at?

I’d say investing I guess. I’m currently in a money market fund but that’s about it. 10% returns. Most of my money just lies in a bank somewhere and I need to fix that.

Do you have an emergency plan for if anything goes south?

My father. Haha.

I have a solid amount in savings from my internship shortfall. About $7k only to be touched in emergencies but we pray against them sha.

Do you honestly have any financial regrets?

Other than knowing that I’d be making $80k+ a year in the USA if I’d stayed? None.

Let’s paint a picture of what this life would have looked like if you stayed.

Let’s see. Winter, so I’d be wearing a Patagonia $400 dollar jacket. Young man, 22 so no responsibilities.

Go to work – nine hours maybe. Leave work at 5pm, get home at 5.25pm – no traffic.

Have Thai for dinner because it costs about $13. Probably would be less financially responsible. Go for Happy Hour with my friends after work, buy 1 or 2 rounds – maybe $100. Buy 1 or 2 drinks for a cute girl, $50.

Go clubbing every other weekend cause I can afford it. Travel a lot. You only start to stress as a young guy in the USA once you have dependents, or paying off a mortgage or maybe paying off loans.

And you have none of those.

I’m just a 22-year-old baby boy.

How would you rate your happiness levels though, on a scale of 1-10?

5, man. A meagre 5. Someone once told me that contentment is never experiencing better. I felt that in my soul.

That’s one way to look at it. Is there something you think I should have asked you but didn’t?

There’s this “how did you make money the first time” question I see on the series.

Go for it.

Not really relevant, but I used to be a day student where most of my classmates were boarders.

I was moving stuff – contrabands like chewing gum, Agbalumo – at insane margins, as per entrepreneur.

I’d make ₦500 from a ₦100 stash, then I started making friends, giving out stuff for free till my margins were wiped out.

And so, I learned at a young age that there is no friendship in business.

Fu’ad Lawal

January 27, 2020

Naira Life

money, Nigerian money, NYSC, Silicon Valley
As if the list of things that get imported into the country isn’t shocking enough…
The Inspector General of Police recently disclosed that the Nigerian Police Force has spent roughly 600 million Naira on the importation of dogs from South Africa in the last couple years.

The Inspector-General, Solomon Arase stated that 400 K-9 dogs will be bred in Nigeria rather than spending all that money on importing foreign breeds.

This means the Buy Naija movement has spread to the Nigerian police.

Maybe Daddy Fashola can pump all that saved money into the power sector so Nigerians can get better supply of electricity.

No shade to these dogs but will the locally bred police dogs be groomed like the Nigerian dogs we all know of?

When you find out the police spent 600 million on dogs but can’t arrest the armed robbers troubling your street.

Why haven’t we seen these dogs patrolling the streets with the Police Patrol Team?

When you realise all that money could have solved the “Madam, we no get fuel for our van” problems.

Or used to improve the deplorable conditions of police cells and their inmates.

Anyway, this project will definitely save lots of money for the country. We hope these locally bred dogs get to finally serve the country this time around.
[zkk_poll post=23192 poll=content_block_standard_format_11]

Maryam

March 11, 2016

Gist

600 million, k-9 dogs, Nigerian dogs, Nigerian money, Nigerian police, police dogs
Let us guess how much you will make this month based on your star sign.
Don’t believe us? Take the quiz and find out!

Maryam

February 4, 2016

Quizzes

money, Nigeria, Nigerian money, zodiac signs
We’re not here to remind you that this note is worth less than 5 dollars.

Well, we just did.

Don’t be angry. You can still get to buy a lot of things with 500 Naira. Here are 7 of them:
1. A pair of slippers like this

Check Balogun market or Mandillas if you think we’re lying.
2. 1GB of data on a Spectranet router

We’re not kidding. Check here to find out.
3. A plate of food at a local buka

You’ll even get a steaming bowl of Amala at White House for 500 naira.
4. Recharge cards

5. Netflix and chill

https://twitter.com/etisalat_9ja/status/685029511302393856/photo/1?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

6. Suya

7. A movie ticket in Ibadan

8. Nivea body spray

9. This pair of faux eyelashes

Our Naturalè Lashes are going for 500 naira 😲 😲 😲 Hurry limited pieces left! pic.twitter.com/o7B7Ps0xwo
— Unveil (@unveil_africa) December 29, 2015

10. At least 5 litres of fuel.

Did we miss anything? Let us know.

Maryam

January 21, 2016

Oldies

500 naira note, money, Nigeria, Nigerian money, Nigerians
Remember those good old days of buying Chocomilo, ice water, sugar and Kuli Kuli with this.

Blissful days! Some of you are old though!
Although this beauty can’t even buy a sip of water anymore and is going into a very quick extinction, Here are 10 ways a 50 kobo coin can still be a part of your life.

1. Properly scratch recharge cards.

Stop using your nails please.
2. Pay for stuff at Shoprite.

Now you won’t dash them your 3 Naira change anymore, thank us later.
3. Pay for fuel.

50 Kobo has been shaved off the fuel price so you can pay the exact amount for the fuel you buy in Naira and Kobo.
4. Donate into this charity box at Shoprite.

50 kobo will go a very long way in changing people’s lives if you don’t know.
5. Teach a child how to count.

Instead of counting with fingers and stones.
6. Open Milo and milk tins with ease.

That struggle can be annoying sometimes.
7. Make really pretty jewellery.

Slay can come really cheap.
8. As a screw driver.

When real screw drivers become hard to find.
9. Charge your phone battery.

Because, who Nepa don epp?
10. Portraits and other artsy items.

This is a brilliant art project idea.
What other things do you think a 50 kobo coin can be used for?

Maryam

January 11, 2016

Oldies

50 kobo, charity, creative, Nigeria, Nigerian money, Nigerians, shoprite