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Nigerian landlords | Zikoko!
  • The 8 Undebatable Reasons Why Rent Is the Worst Part of Adulting

    Many things are stressing adults this 2022. IELTS, price of foodstuff, price of POP ceiling and furniture. 

    And rent. Rent is the ruler of all adult frustrations, and these are the reasons why.

    Two years advance payment

    Am I related to Dangote? Why else do landlords and agents sometimes ask people to pay two years’ rent in advance? Don’t forget the agent and “caution” fees that must be straight from the pit of hell.

    Landlords are also agents, but for Satan

    It’s worse if they live in the same house. That’s when they’ll come up with rules like, “Gates close by 9 p.m.” “No visitor must spend the night.”

    The landlord doesn’t live in the house

    If the house is good, why don’t they live there? Breeze will carry your roof after small rain.

    The house can change ownership

    You go through hell and relationship Twitter to get a house, then they tell you the house was inherited, and the original owner’s granddaughter has come to fight for her right.

    If you’re a single woman, just forget it

    Because according to society, single women living alone must be wayward.

    You must have the right ethnicity

    Yes, there are still people in our dear Nigeria who’ll refuse to rent a place to someone from a different tribe.

    Agents never tell the truth

    You: “I hope the house has light?”

    The agent: “Of course, the house has direct connection to Kainji dam.”

    You, after packing in:

    Remember that thing about inflation?

    Every time the naira falls by an inch, your landlord is happy to respond with a 50% rent increase. Because, inflation.

    Why have we written this article about stress?

    Adulting may be the worst, but at least you can solve the headache that’s rent.

    Join EaziRent and solve the burden of paying a year’s rent in advance. Landlord wahala? We don’t do that here.

    EaziRent allows you to pay your rent monthly, easily and without stress. Sign up here to get started.

  • These Ridiculous Rules Prove That Nigerian Landlords Are From Hell

    Nigerian landlords! There’s a special place in hell for some of them. If they’re not frustrating us with random rent increases and unprovoked shouting, they’re creating ridiculous rules and regulations for tenants

    Here are eight random rules you’ll come across apartment hunting. If you don’t see at least one of them, you’re probably searching for a house on the borders of Cotonou.

    1. No sleepovers with the opposite sex

    God should now bless you that your landlord stays in your building. That’s when you’ll realise the monitoring spirits in your life were never from your village. 

    2. Working-class only with “good job”

    As you know, Nigerian landlords have no joy. You’re not working 15 hours a day and you want to rent a house in Nigeria? Impossible, dear. Before you even meet with the landlord, send your CV.  If you’re not leaving the house as early as 6:00 am to submit yourself to capitalism, then you ain’t ready. 

    RELATED: The Complete Guide To Becoming A Nigerian Landlord

    2. No gorgeous, gorgeous girls allowed

    Nigerian landlords like humility. You can’t come to their house and be oppressing them with beauty. Noooo. All they know is sufferhead.

    3. You must be from their tribe

    This one has to be the most annoying. Nigerian landlords are always looking for how to connect with their ancestors. Why? Because that’s the only explanation for why they need only Yoruba or Igbo tenants.

    4. Paying for two and a half years

    These ones are criminals. After paying for the two and a half years, just watch out for the rainy season. That’s when you’ll find out that the roof is made from cardboard. If the landlord doesn’t now stay in the compound, that should be your red flag.

    RELATED: 9 Things You Should Be Warned About Before Renting a House in Ibadan

    5. You must attend compound prayers 

    Apparently, some of you are doing monthly vigils in your compound. I want to believe it was a trick, but Nigeria is not a real place. It’s either the landlord has the key to your door and will drag you outside, or you’re hoping that if you pray together with your neighbours, your landlord will keep your rent the same for the next five years.

    RELATED: 10 Things That Prove That Nigeria Is Not a Real Place

    6. 10 p.m. curfew

    You’d think Nigerian landlords are your parents. Because after collecting your hard-earned money, they’ll now be doing gateman work. Why are you locking your tenants outside the compound at Night fgs?!. I can’t even say they’re jobless because they have enough money to own land. So, what is the reason for this madness? 

    7. Reserved parking space

    Drivinga car in Nigeria is already stressful. Then in your compound, you still can’t find peace. “Don’t park here, don’t park there.” It’s left for them to use chalk and draw boxes for each person’s car. Nonsense.

    8. General cleaning

    A compound that cleans together, stays together. All that’s left is for tenants to wear uniforms and sing, “The day is bright, it’s bright and fair” Again, Nigerian landlords are not a joke.

    RELATED: 10 Primary School Assembly Songs That Were Bangers

    ALSO READ: Interview With Lagos Apartments