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Nigerian girls | Zikoko!
  • If You’re Planning a Girls’ Night Out, You’re One of These 9 Girls

    If You’re Planning a Girls’ Night Out, You’re One of These 9 Girls

    In this article, we’ll be sharing every type of girl you’ll see planning a girls’ night out. Catch your sub, because you’re one of the nine babes on this list.

    1. The leader of the pack

    She’s the self-proclaimed Beyoncé of the group. She’s the type A friend that plans everything to the T. She’s picked out dresses for everyone, venues for the evening and scheduled the best time for everyone to link up. She’s also the designated mummy that watches over everyone while they get wasted.

    From the girl who's always on a budget to the girl who's always overdressed and annoying everyone, these are all the girls you'll find  planning a girl's night out.

    2. The friend with a boyfriend/husband

    She believes she’s doing everyone a favour by showing up. She’s also rescheduled or cancelled plans at least five times in a row because she unapologetically chooses knacks over her girls. Tueh! 

    3. The sneaky link friend

    This babe? Hm. She’s a dirty liar and a fraud. She’s probably back with that guy again and by that guy, I mean the one she swore with her life to never see again.  She’s already got her text from her sneaky link and will ditch you all before the end of the night. Overall, she’s not a friend to trust.

    4. The slay mama

    She’s always late and overdressed. She’ll convince you about looking simple and come out with a full face of makeup. She’s a dirty liar with serial killer tendencies.

    5. The obnoxious friend

    She’s goofy and it’s cute, but sometimes she makes you want to kill her. She’s the friend that needs to be removed from the group and blocked because she’s constantly posting annoying memes and videos that don’t relate to the plans. 

    6. The conservative friend

    She’s the workaholic of the group that needs to be pushed to have a good time. She’s not interested in anything that requires spending her own money. She’ll probably be the last person you speak to on the plans because all she wants to do is talk about budgeting. Loosen up girl.

    7. The feminist and big spender

    She’s the sugar mummy of the group and will probably be sponsoring the whole plan. She also annoys everyone with talk about the patriarchal system and why we can’t let them win. We manage this behaviour because she’s a wealthy woman in the making.

    8. The foodie and enjoyment minister

    She’s a girl’s girl and lives for the cute pictures and drunk nights together. Her only condition is to be fed. As long as it’s enjoyment, she’s there. She doesn’t need to be convinced to tag along with the girls for an evening out because it’s another excuse to eat ₦9k pasta.

    9. The laidback chick

    She’s all for girl power, but she always wants to be alone. She’s uninterested in the plans and will flake on it with her full chest. All she wants to do is drink a glass of wine in bed and snuggle into her blanket this evening. If she does decide to pull up, she’s wearing sneakers.

  • How To Make A Nigerian Girl Fall For You

    How To Make A Nigerian Girl Fall For You

    Here are seven different ways to make the Nigerian girl you like fall for you.

    1) Words of affirmation

    To make a Nigerian girl fall in love with you, you need to give her bank account some words of affirmation. The best kinds of words of affirmation come in the form of a credit alert. Credit alerts are words and numbers that show you care. It is impossible to make a Nigerian girl fall in love with you without mastering this art.

    how to make a girl fall for you

    2) Be a Proverbs 31 man

    To make a Nigerian woman fall for you, you have to be the ideal man she wants. The ideal man for Nigerian girls is the Proverbs 31 man.

    how to make a girl fall for you
    a Proverbs 31 man and his Queen

    3) Cook for them

    The way to the heart is to the stomach. To make a true Nigerian woman fall for you, you need to also buy her food. They don’t need much. Maybe seafood pasta and some fries.

    woman sitting on man's lap, eating food how to make a girl fall for you
    Look at how romantic

    4) Buy them shoes

    What better way to show a Nigerian woman you love them than to support their fashion habits? Buy them a pair of those Jesus sandals to prove that you not only love her but have created a judgement-free zone for her to be her true self.

    a pair of brown sandals

    5) Set leg for her so she can fall

    Sometimes for a woman to fall for you, you have to make her physically fall. When the body has fallen down, so will the heart.

    Paw paw thinking in 5g how to make a girl fall for you
    Think about it

    6) Challenge her to a running competition while she has heels on

    The heels Nigerian women wear are definitely not for running. The square corners are good for killing cockroaches, but never for running. That’s why when she has them on, you should race her. She will fall.

    Funke Akindele running

    7) Take her for an anointing service

    By the time they sprinkle holy water and oil on her, she will fall under the anointing and into your arms.

    woman in white garment holding a candle how to make a girl fall for you

    For more on what is inside life, please click here


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    how to make a girl fall for you

    how to make a girl fall for you

    how to make a girl fall for you

    how to make a girl fall for you

  • 7 Ways Nigerian Girls Want To Get Toasted

    7 Ways Nigerian Girls Want To Get Toasted

    Nigerian women are on another spectrum when it comes to wooing them. The mixed signals and aired DMs are an indication that you’re doing it all wrong. Luckily for you, we have curated 7 ways Nigerian girls want to be toasted. Read and learn. 

    Send her money

    This point cannot be stressed enough. Just randomly credit her account and see. Be generous with that cash and watch her become receptive to your advances. 

    Feed her

    If you’re thinking “am I her father?” then you are obviously ready to die single. Nigerian girls love food. After money, food is our love language. Ask her where she’d like to go to for breakfast, lunch or dinner and make it work. Send food to her office. Buy her bag of rice and frozen chicken. FEED THAT NIGERIAN WOMAN IN YOUR LIFE.

    Woo her with consistency

     Women love men that are consistent in action. Nigerian girls watch their prospect for a while to see if they will switch up on the energy. If you’re gunning for her, then be consistent without being a pest.

    Read: 10 Things Nigerian Girls Like About Guys

    Surprise her with thoughtful gifts and sappy notes

    If you’re trying to woo a Nigerian girl, surprising her at work with a very subtle yet obvious gift is one way to go. Let her co-workers wonder who this secret admirer is. Be her anon, that wig she has been retweeting, get it for her. Make her the envy of her office. Attach little thoughtful notes that make her understand that she is on your mind. Please, don’t send a saxophone, clarion or trumpet player to her office, this isn’t rapture.

    I feel so emoshional

    Give her space and attention at once

    Allow her but not really. I don’t know how you intend to pull this off but you better find a balance between giving her space and attention or risk becoming the Ozo in her Nengi life.

     

    Have sense

    Plis, mature minds only. Nigerian girls want a man whose reasoning matches theirs at least. Oga, read the room and know when to say what. Don’t be insensitive and make off-putting jokes. 

    oga, plis.

    Have Funds

    This is making a special appearance again because I need y’all to know that money makes Nigerian girls moist. We like knowing that a guy has money. Sometimes, the knowledge is all we need to be responsive. 

    rawr. come here you money making man.

    Bonus: Know how to handle rejection with grace. Try not to stalk her or kill her if she says NO. 

    Watch this hilarious episode of The Most Toasted Girl for more tips:

  • 12 Reasons Having Big Feet As A Girl Is A Nightmare

    12 Reasons Having Big Feet As A Girl Is A Nightmare

    1. All the fine shoes are always size 36

    So the rest of us should not wear shoe?

    2. When your boyfriend asks for your size and you have have to open your mouth to tell him ‘Size 46’

    The shame.

    3. His face, when you reveal the big secret

    “Babe, your feet are bigger than mine?”

    4. You, when you order shoes online and they’re too tight

    And they say they have ‘no return’ policy.

    5. When someone dashes you nice shoes and they don’t want to fit

    What a betray!

    6. When you have to get a shoe that’s your size as opposed to getting one that you actually like

    Is this how life is?

    7. You, when your old shoes are getting tight but you don’t want to let go

    By force by fire.

    8. When you finally find lovely shoes that fit, you’re like

    AT LAST!

    9. And so you have to wear them every day

    Before nko?

    10. You, when someone tries to do gbeborun about your ‘one shoe’,

    Wee you keep kwayet?

    11. When you’re shopping and you see that larger sizes are even more expensive

    Did I choose to have donkey feet?

    12. When you want to try your friends shoes and they say ‘don’t expand it for me’

    Nawa o!
  • 13 Sentences You’ll Hear If You Compliment A Nigerian Girl

    13 Sentences You’ll Hear If You Compliment A Nigerian Girl

    1. “WASH!”

    Everything is wash!

    2. “How many girls have you told this one?”

    Did you give me girls?

    3. “Na so.”

    Bye!

    4. “Stop whining me.”

    Oh God!

    5. “I’m learning from you.”

    Be going.

    6. “I wish.”

    Ugh!

    7. “It’s God.”

    Leave God alone.

    8. “I pray oh!”

    Praying for what again?

    9. “Just trying to be like you.”

    Jisos!

    10. “It’s a lie jor.”

    Na wa for you.

    11. “Ah! Me?”

    No! Me?

    12. “Be insulting me.”

    From where to where?

    13. “Let me hear word.”

    Oya free.
  • 10 Things Nigerian Girls Like About Guys

    10 Things Nigerian Girls Like About Guys
    Most people say “it’s so hard to understand women”. Truth is we have the cheat codes and will tell you. Ever tried to talk to a Nigerian girl and she’s been turning you down? This list will help you. Disclaimer: This does not relate to ALL Nigerian girls. Read in peace!

    1. Money

    Money makes the world go round and makes everything move. It also makes the hearts of some Nigerian girls flutter and melt. Better still if it is a foreign currency.

    2. Perfume

    This is really a very dope way to impress. You hear it all the time “I love men that smell good”. Go buy that perfume bottle today.

    3. Car keys

    This is a very important key, literally. Just have the car keys, and place them strategically during a conversation and open doors for yourself. Where will you get keys? We don’t know.

    4. Cars

    This is a step up from just having the keys, have the car. Make it a very good one. 2010 models and above. Thank us later.

    5. Culinary skills

    Nigerian girls like or love guys that can cook. Go learn how to cook, post the food photos online and you’ll have your way into their hearts.

    6. Sweet-talking abilities

    Generally, ladies love to be wooed, but Nigerian girls are a special breed. You need to up your toasting game to be able to get any of them.

    7. Oil and Gas job

    Ladies love guys with an ambition or stable job. They don’t like anything still in the ‘pipeline’ or works. Except your job has to do with pipelines then you are winning.

    8. VIP or VVIP

    Tagline: “Do you want to go see a show with me? I have two VIP tickets”. This will work. Just find the money to keep on getting VIP or VVIP tickets. Thank us later.

    9. Wedding rings

    We heard this is one way to some Nigerian girls hearts. Guys look a little attractive with the wedding bands. Or on another note guys in relationships. We think they took #SeizeTheBae too far.

    10. Beards

    Last but not the least. This could easily be the top of this list. Nigerian babes love guys with the full connecting beard. Note full and connecting, please don’t embarrass yourself with the “bear-bear”.
  • 12 Signs A Nigerian Girl Has Friend-zoned You

    12 Signs A Nigerian Girl Has Friend-zoned You

    Friend zone aka the “you will never be bae zone” should have a lot of warning signs for would-be occupants of the zone. See, we are the good guys and know just how painful it is to be cast into that zone.

    So here are 12 signs that indicate that a girl has friend-zoned you completely.

    1. When she tells you she isn’t ready for a relationship then goes on to date someone else two weeks later.

    Smh!

    2. If she says “God forbid” and makes this face whenever the topic of both of you being in a relationship comes up.

    Yup! She is highly disgusted by the idea of dating you.

    3. When you suddenly become her brother or any member of her family.

    Sorry, bro!

    4. Are you helping her pick dresses for dates with other guys?

    As per chief stylist.

    5. Or has she called you her “best bestie in the whole world”.

    But….

    6. When she replies “Awww” after you just sent her a 3-paged epistle on how beautiful she is.

    Eh yaa!

    7. When she starts tell you of a guy that she likes and that guy isn’t you.

    So much evils.

    8. Or she tells you she wishes to find a guy like you.

    But still refuses to make you her bae.

    9. When she tweets “I am single to stupor” and you guys have been talking for almost a year.

    Very tragic!

    10. And she feels really comfortable telling you all the gross things like how bloody her period feels like.

    Dis tew much. Forreal.

    11. When she starts asking you for relationship advice.

    Because, you are Dr Phil and bestie rolled in one.

    12. And when she refers to you as the guy she could have kids with if she happens to be unmarried at 40.

    Why not now please?
  • 12 Things Nigerian Girls Say And What They Really Mean

    12 Things Nigerian Girls Say And What They Really Mean
    According to the gospel of Nigerian Twitter:

    1. “Hey, big head”

    Translation: I miss you.

    2. “I’ve never done this before…”

    Translation: I’ve never done this before…with you.

    3. “I don’t usually do this”

    Translation: Please don’t judge me.

    4. “My bodycount is 3”

    Translation: My bodycount is none of your business, but since you asked, here’s a lie.

    5. “Do whatever you want to do”

    Translation: Do what I want to do! How dare you think you have a say?

    6. “Nothing is wrong”

    Translation: EVERYTHING IS WRONG! She has probably heard something or seen something. You are not safe. At this point, nothing that you do is right. Not even breathing.

    7. “I’ll soon be ready”

    Translation: Have your bath, eat, watch all the seasons of Smallville and go to the moon; Then, I will be ready.

    8. “I’m fine”

    Translation: Sit down and comfort me, you clueless male person.

    9. “#NoMakeup”

    Tranlation: I spent two hours on my make up to look like I didn’t use any make up.

    10. “I don’t want to eat”

    Translation: Buy your own and then I will proceed to eat it all.

    11. “Say it. I won’t be angry.”

    Translation: Oya let me hear you criticize me. You think you’ve seen me angry? Watch as you unlock another level with your gullibility.

    12. “I’m not trying to be rude”

    Translation: She’s about to say some downright disrespectful things. Just start apologizing.
  • 10 Things Nigerian Ladies With Natural Hair Hate to Hear

    10 Things Nigerian Ladies With Natural Hair Hate to Hear

    1. “Your hair looks like puff-puff.”

    Are you even serious?

    2. “Can I touch it?”

    Can I slap your face after?

    3. “Is it a religious thing?”

    Only “holy” people keep natural hair abi?

    4. “Your hair is too strong, you should relax it!”

    Please how is strong hair a bad thing?!

    5. “And you looked better with straight hair.”

    So now I’m ugly?

    6. “How do you cope with this your hair?”

    You mean how do I cope with all this awesomeness?

    7. “Your hair is all over the place.”

    Yes, I want to bless all of you with it.

    8. “Is it money? I will buy relaxer for you.”

    Let’s not be unfortunate please.

    9. “Why are you putting so much oil on your hair, it is already natural.”

    All types of hair need oil and moisture, you’re welcome.

    10. “Can you style it?”

    In several amazing ways you can think of. Like this:
    https://www.instagram.com/p/779kjboKN2/?taken-by=teyonahparris
    Or this ?:
    https://www.instagram.com/p/6pdiqgoKMx/?taken-by=teyonahparris
    Again, you’re welcome.
  • 16 Struggles All Nigerian Girls Face When Trying To Make Their Hair

    16 Struggles All Nigerian Girls Face When Trying To Make Their Hair

    1. When it’s hair day and you know you won’t be doing anything else.

    You booked for 10am, you’ll be seen at 12 noon, and leave around 5pm.

    2. When the salon is packed full, but the stylist assures you that you will be seen soon.

    Right.

    3. When the stylist that cannot make hair approaches you.

    Please, don’t help me.

    4. When gentle isn’t in your hairdresser’s vocabulary.

    Please stop pulling my hair now.

    5. If you have natural hair, you’d be told like 3 million times to relax it.

    I said no now.

    6. When you roll up in your 4 month old weave but you know no one will judge you.

    I am not my hair.

    7. When the stylist forgets that she left your hair under the dryer.

    And she still won’t answer.

    8. When another customer is spilling their entire family’s secrets.

    Please. Go on.

    9. When the hairdresser makes up a ridiculously high price for your hair.

    Wait, what?!

    10. Then they take light and they want to charge you for generator usage.

    Am I PHCN?

    11. When you go with one style in mind, but the hairdresser says it won’t fit you.

    Okay, ma. You know best.

    12. When someone in the salon tries to convince you to do a mani/pedi.

    Is it free?

    13. When two people are braiding your hair and you can’t tell which side hurts the most.

    Everywhere hurts.

    14. When they leave the relaxer on your hair too long.

    Now you have no edges.

    15. When you’re cheating on your stylist with another stylist and they pass by.

    Did she see me?

    16. And if you leave with a weave, you know you’d be tapping it for about a month.

    Because it be itching!