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  • What Basic Foodstuff Can You Afford on Tinubu’s ₦8k Palliative Budget?

    What Basic Foodstuff Can You Afford on Tinubu’s ₦8k Palliative Budget?

    Jagaban has hit the ground running just like he promised during his campaign, but it’s still too early to say if we rate him or not.

    What Basic Foodstuff Can You Afford on Tinubu’s ₦8k Palliative Budget?

    He recently announced a monthly ₦8k palliative measure to ease the effects of the fuel subsidy removal. This money, if approved by the senate, will be paid to poor households across the country. 

    But with a budget of ₦8k in today’s Nigeria, how many items can you afford on this list? 

    Rice

    We don’t know if President Tinubu is aware, but a paint bucket of rice is selling for as high as ₦3500 to ₦3700 these days, and it can barely last a month.

    Garri

    What Basic Foodstuff Can You Afford on Tinubu’s ₦8k Palliative Budget?

    Source: GoMarket

    Garri stays being the ultimate saviour in times of hardship. It’s now about ₦1500 for a paint bucket sha.

    Beans

    What Basic Foodstuff Can You Afford on Tinubu’s ₦8k Palliative Budget?

    Source: GidiMarket

    Beans used to be cheap, but not anymore. A derica of drum (olotu) sells for as high as ₦600 and a paint bucket now goes for about ₦3500.

    Instant noodles

    What Basic Foodstuff Can You Afford on Tinubu’s ₦8k Palliative Budget?

    Source: ShopOnClick

    Depending on the type and size you want to buy, you’ll have to shell out about ₦3500-₦5000 from your ₦8k palliative for a carton of instant noodles. The smallest size of common brands sells at ₦100-₦150.

    Egg

    Source: Bulk price store

    This is the protein option for many people who can’t afford chicken, turkey, beef or fish. But even these days, one egg sells for ₦100-₦150 and a crate at almost ₦2500.

    Vegetable oil

    What Basic Foodstuff Can You Afford on Tinubu’s ₦8k Palliative Budget?

    Source: MSME

    A 50cl bottle of local vegetable oil sells for ₦1000-₦1500 depending on where you’re buying from. Prices are relatively cheaper in the local markets.

    Semolina

    The brand determines the price but, on average, a 1kg bag of semolina costs ₦800-₦1000.

    Palm oil

    What Basic Foodstuff Can You Afford on Tinubu’s ₦8k Palliative Budget?

    You’ll get a 50cl bottle of palm oil at your local market for about ₦900-₦1000.

    Adeyinka Odutuyo

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  • 7 Healthy Things You Can Eat Like a Thief in the Night

    7 Healthy Things You Can Eat Like a Thief in the Night

    Even though we’re out here experiencing heavy rain, there’s a global consensus that we need summer bodies. But haven’t you spent most of the year eating like a thief? It’s okay, me too. These seven foods will take away that guilt of eating at 2 a.m. and allow us to pretend we’re on the summer body journey too.

    Cabbage fufu

    You know that 2 a.m. eba has to stop right? But cabbage fufu is a compromise. It looks like swallow, smells like swallow, and most importantly, has much lower calories than swallow, so you eat your way through without thinking too much about your waistline. 

    Oil-free okra soup

    Something has to go with cabbage fufu, and it can’t involve soups cooked with lots of palm oil like banga or egusi. And okra is one soup you can cook without the extra calories from oil.  

    RELATED: A Very Strong Case for Eba and Okro Soup

    Watermelon barbeque steak

    Now hold on a second. Do you know many calories are in chicken skins alone? Almost 100 for just one tiny piece and you haven’t even gotten into the meat. Think of watermelon barbeque as a distant cousin of Tofu that’s meant to mimic the texture and smell of meat. 

    Pepper soup

    It’s basically water, spice and some boiled meat or fish. No oil is needed and no frying is involved, so pepper soup is great, tasty addition in pretending you’re part of the fitfam crew.

    Carrot pancake

    It’s pancakes made from vegetables. So technically, it’s healthy. You need to confuse the calories. 

    RELATED: 5 Meals That Make Nigerian Men Think They’re Chefs

    Cucumber noodles

    It sounds crazy but is it really? Rather than eating hungry man-size noodles and adding one chopped carrot to deceive yourself, cucumber noodles are clearly the healthier version. 

    Popcorn

    One cup of popcorn without salt, sugar or sweeteners is like 31 calories, so a bucket of it won’t kill you.

    If you really want to eat and confuse the calories so they can’t affect you, read: 8 Practical Ways to Reduce the Calories in Your Food Before Eating It

    Ortega

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  • “I Pay ₤60 to Eat Jollof Rice in Germany” — 9 Nigerians in Diaspora Talk About Nigerian Foods They Miss

    “I Pay ₤60 to Eat Jollof Rice in Germany” — 9 Nigerians in Diaspora Talk About Nigerian Foods They Miss

    We support your japa plans 100%, but are you mentally prepared to give up Nigerian foods? In this article, nine  Nigerians living abroad confessed how costly it is to get their favourite Nigerian meals abroad.

    Joan, 37

    I moved to Alberta, Canada, 11 years ago. My older siblings thought it would be great to get a master’s degree and work my way into the system. They were right, but no one prepared me for how much things would change, particularly with food. 

    I went from eating fresh fruits literally plucked off my father’s farm trees to eating mushy canned fruits. 

    The fruits that weren’t canned (e.g. mangoes) tasted odd to me. I can’t explain how, but they didn’t taste as fresh as the ones I used to eat back in Nigeria. It was later I learnt some of the fruits here are genetically modified to get bigger. 

    Meye, 40

    I’ve been in Canada for 10 years, and during the dreary winters, all I crave is pounded yam and banga soup littered with bush meat, kpomo and dried fish. Since I left Nigeria, Chinese food has been my staple because it’s the cheapest food option I actually enjoy. 

    I can’t even imagine trying to shop at the African stores in Calgary. And trying to get my siblings to ship foodstuff from Nigeria is so stressful. The ones they sent at the beginning of the year [2022] still haven’t arrived, so, until I’m back in Nigeria, I’ll have to manage Chinese food.

    RELATED: 9 Nigerians Share Their Experience With Foreign Food

    Steven*, 39

    I moved to Rwanda in 2019 to start a pepper business. It’s been the best decision I’ve ever made. But the food? Not so much. I went from having aunties, nieces and a sister who’d cook for me to figuring out how to cook my own meals. The culture is very different — the women I dated in Rwanda weren’t bothered about cooking the typical soups I liked. Once they served me fried potato chips, that was it. No one was stressing.

    To be fair, Rwanda doesn’t have a lot of food options. I’ve gotten used to it though. I eventually started cooking meals for myself and the Rwandan woman I’m currently dating. I still miss having someone whip up a nice plate of banga and starch sha. 

    Elly, 26

    I moved to Boston, Massachusetts five years ago for my undergraduate degree in 2017. Amala and ewedu from Lagos is something I really miss. I hate that I have to make it on my own when I could’ve easily walked into a buka back home. Imagine spending $10–$20 for only ewedu here. Luckily, I still get to beg my mum to send amala flour to me.

    Kamni, 28

    I moved to Dubai in 2017 for my master’s degree. The list of things I miss getting on a regular basis from Nigeria is plenty, but one thing I can fight someone for right now is ipekere and elegede soup. Ipekere is like akara made of corn and fried into shapes like churros — it stays crunchy for days. Elegbede is a native soup from Ondo state. 

    It’s not like I don’t get local food in Dubai. I tend to cook more than I eat out, but foodstuff here is so expensive. Takayama for instance. The last tuber I got cost like 30 or 35 AED. That’s about ₦4,500–₦5,000 for one small skinny tuber. Even ata rodo (habanero pepper) is around ₦10k for 2kg. At this point, I go to the store once a month to get everything I need because even transportation to the store is another wahala.

    Uche, 28

    I moved to Germany for a PhD in 2018. Nothing tastes the same over here. I have to cook a lot of things myself and even then they don’t bang. Maybe it’s because I use an electric cooker and not a gas cooker and I’m tired.

    I just stopped being able to cook Nigerian staples like jollof rice because every time I tried, it was just underwhelming. Now, I pay someone in Berlin ₤60 to deliver jollof rice to Braunschweig which is almost three hours away. 

    But what I miss the most is soups like oha. Getting that in Germany isn’t quite as easy.

    RELATED: 9 Nigerian Meals We Love to Eat but Never Cook Ourselves

    Ovo, 56

    I moved to Cardiff in 2000 as a Chevening scholar. I was married at the time with one kid, but my family couldn’t come along with me. I liked the idea of trying new foods in England, but when it came down to it, nothing felt as satisfying as waking up to pounded yam and egusi back in Nigeria. The English chicken soups, mashed potatoes and nuggets didn’t compare. And as someone who’d never had to cook my own food, the transition was hard.

    The first time my wife and son visited me, I had to beg her to bring soup. I don’t know how I expected that to work, but I was desperate for any kind of Nigerian swallow after six months in Cardiff.

    Peace*, 42

    When I was 30, I got into a master’s program and moved to Scotland., where I’ve lived since 2008. I’m not crazy about Nigerian food, but the one thing I miss is our spices. Pepper soup spice has to be on the top of my list because I still ask my sisters in Nigeria to ship them to me at least once a year. 

    Grace, 29

    Since I moved to Alberta, Canada, four years ago, I haven’t had cereal. Finding good powdered milk has been a struggle for me because the liquid milk here makes me feel bloated. The taste isn’t my favourite thing either. 

    It’s not sustainable to have powdered milk delivered from Nigeria so I don’t bother. Hopefully, I’ll find something I can sustain, but for now, no cereal for me.

    READ ALSO: How to Find Nigerian Food Abroad

    Ortega

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  • Eat These 7 Comfort Foods When You’re Fighting With Your Partner

    Eat These 7 Comfort Foods When You’re Fighting With Your Partner

    Most of the time, when people are fighting with their partners, they like to eat because they’re upset, sad or stressed.  Here are the best comfort foods to help you through these times.

    Cold eba and any soup

    Fighting can drain your mental and physical strength. You’ll need the energy to fight your partner back, and that’s why eba is a great choice Hot eba do usually cause sleep, but if it’s hard and cold? Instant energy.

     Ponmo or any other strong meat 

    Use all the anger you have in your body to chew stong ponmo or any other type of hard meat. Focus your energy on transferring aggression to strong cow hide. By the time you’re done chewing, you won’t have any energy to fight again. 

    Pap 

    If you don’t have the energy to fight and you want to keep your mind away from it, sleep. If you want to have the kind of deep sleep that makes you forget you exist, eat very hot pap with plenty of milk and sugar. By the time you wake up, you won’t even remember that you have a partner, talk more of fighting with them.

     

    ALSO READ: 9 Fast Foods That Can Get Nigerians in Their Feelings

    Fried rice and chicken 

    Life is for enjoyment and not for stress or suffering. Why waste all that time fighting with your significant other when you could be enjoying life? Abeg, forget about them and eat some fried rice and a big piece of chicken. 

    Brownies and ice cream

    If the fight is serious and you’re sad, ice cream and brownies can be the perfect comfort food. Nothing does it better than sweet junk food. To make it better, eat the brownies while watching a rom-com. 

    Avocado

    I added this option not for you to eat (because avocados shouldn’t count as food in any shape or form), but for you to take your anger out on them. Buy avocados and smash them with your fists — or a wooden spoon. I’m not even joking, I’ve done this before and it helped.

    RELATED: What Avocado Eaters Think They Are vs What They Really Are 

    Pasta 

    As a Nigerian woman, there’s no way I could leave this option out. Mostly because pasta is one of the greatest foods ever created. Once you eat some spaghetti Bolognese or some creamy penne pasta, you’ll be so happy and joyous that you won’t even care about the fight anymore. Your partner is forgiven instantly. 

    Amala

    Amala, ewedu and gbegiri is such a top-tier meal that it deserves to be eaten in every situation. Whether you’re upset, happy, fighting with your partner, or you’re happy together with them, eat amala and maintain happiness. 

    Somebody else’s work 

    Why stress yourself out by fighting your partner when you can eat someone else’s work? 

    While we’re on the topic of food and love, read this: 10 Foods That Will Improve Your Love Life

    Dammy Eneli

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  • Are You Really an Adult if You Eat Any of These 7 Foods?

    Are You Really an Adult if You Eat Any of These 7 Foods?

    Some of you are shameless. Because why are you eating baby food? And you have the nerve to call yourself a full-grown adult.

    Golden Morn

    If you feel attacked, it’s because you’re probably eating a bowl right now. Golden Morn is made for people that can’t chew — you know, like babies? It’s like pre-chewed cornflakes? So, why? 

    Custard and pap

    I’m here for the people drinking five litres of pap. Why? If you can’t drink garri with your moi-moi or akara, you need to walk around with a pacifier. 

    RELATED: Ranked: Yellow, Brown, or White Pap?

    Mashed potatoes

    Some of you aren’t ready for this but the hour has come. The word “mashed” is enough for you to put it down. You can keep calling it an “acquired taste”, but it’s really just for rich kids — those ones that cost their parents 600k per term for creche.

    Beans

    You can’t grow any taller, so why are you still eating beans as an adult? 

    Semo

    I found people somewhere on the internet turning semo into pap. Creativity needs a limit abeg. But since pap is already baby food, this one sef follow. Do better.

    RELATED: Interview With Semo: “My Slander Is So Forced”

    Smoothies

    There’s no explanation for why you’re drinking things you can chew. The fitfam crew may want to throw hands but that’s their business. If you’re blending fruits rather than sitting down to chew them, you should be in the kiddies’ corner. 

    Soup

    As an adult, you’re made for the harder things of life and can’t be slurping up soups. What you need to do is eat the eba or amala straight. That’s how to test that you’re ready for life’s reality. Stop being a baby.

    ALSO READ: If You Don’t Like Any of These 10 Foods, You’re Bad Vibes

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  • Pounded Yam and 4 Other Nigerian Foods That Enjoy White Privilege

    Pounded Yam and 4 Other Nigerian Foods That Enjoy White Privilege

    Look, colorism is real. And it shows up even in the smallest things – like how we rate our foods. How, in God’s name does Amala get so much stick but Pounded Yam gets so much free press. It’s like how British tabloids won’t cut black players any slack but Maguire gets a thumbs up for a getting into brawls.

    Well, we thought to tell you that these Nigerian foods have enjoyed white privilege for the longest time. But you know what they say with privilege – own it with your chest.

    1. Pounded Yam

    Pounded Yam is arguably the worst swallow ever, but you won’t hear pim from anyone. It leaves you heavy, is hardly digestible, and is basic. But even Steve Jobs never enjoyed press coverage like this thing does. And the process it takes to make it? If it was black it would have been mixed with cement to plaster houses and help in fixing Nigeria’s housing deficit.

    But again, good old colorism – making basic things look exceptional.

    2. Fufu

    Fufu stinks, smells and is sticky. On top of that you can’t have it by 7pm and use the rest of of your day for anything meaningful – except of course you purposely intend to feel like someone sacrificed to the gods.

    But Fufu is still being eaten by actual humans. Why? Light skin.

    3. Semo

    Okay the Semo slander might overflogged, but Semo as a food would have been erased from national consciousness like a George Owellian novel if it had the slightest bit of melanin. The food tastes like sorrow, and on top of it, is artificial. Imagine doing cosmetic surgery and still turning out meh.

    Ah, Semo is hopeless – but it hasn’t died because of white privilege. And we care less about whatever shalaye it was doing in the interview we had with it.

    4. Pupuru

    I have to admit Pupuru is good people. A dope chow, Pupuru is that very fair chick that sits at the back of the class, doesn’t talk much and is generally reverred as an OG. Not a very popular dish, but if you know you know.

    But imagine if pupuru was dark skinned – ah, the slander. People will spit on it and say one thing one thing. Moral: we need new Bey music for black skin foods. Featuring LAX?

    5. Tuwo Shinkafa

    Tuwo Shinkafa is proper bro, ngl. But imagine if it was black. It probably would have been called ‘Tuwo Blackafa’ – symbolising black strength, grit, and all of those black stereotypes that just needs to die.

    Imagine if it Tuwo Shinkafa now had a nappy hair. That’s the part people will be spitting out. You’ll hear: “I don’t eat that black hair part of Tuwo Shinkafa, walahi”.

    Doyin Olagunju

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