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  • Adejoke Bakare: The Nigerian Who’s UK’s First Black Female Michelin-Starred Chef

    On Monday, February 5, 2024, Chishuru, a UK-based restaurant founded by Nigerian chef, Adejoke Bakare, was one of 18 restaurants awarded with a Michelin Star. This makes her the first black female Michelin-starred chef in the UK, and second in the world.

    Michelin Stars are given by a collective of inspectors employed by the Michelin guide, who visit different restaurants in about 40 countries, as anonymous customers.

    Adejoke Bakare: The Nigerian Who’s UK’s First Black Female Michelin-Starred Chef

    Photo source: Instagram/@chishuru

    A brief history of Chef Bakare and Chishuru

    Chef Bakare’s interest in the culinary world dates back to her years in Kaduna, where she grew up with a Yoruba mother and an Igbo father. As a child, she enjoyed watching her maternal grandmother cook, so she never considered cooking for her siblings as a chore. Her love for cooking continued even as a student of biological science at the university in Kaduna. “My culinary experience up to that point was running a fish and chips cart while I was studying,” Bakare revealed in a Guardian UK interview.

    She eventually moved to the United Kingdom in the 1990s and worked in the care and property management industries before friends encouraged her to start a supper club in 2017. Fast forward to 2019, she participated in a Brixton Village competition that rewarded the winner with an opportunity to operate a three-month pop-up restaurant.  

    “When I won, it was almost like a sign to go, “OK, you can now do those things that you want to do. There is an avenue for me to get on doing food more professionally.”

    In September 2020, months after the triumphant win, Chishuru was born as a pop-up serving contemporary West African dishes. The restaurant’s West African cuisine quickly gained popularity among the Brits, especially customers who grew up in West Africa and were familiar with the region’s culinary offerings, earning her a feature on Great British Chefs in 2023 and a recognition in the top 100 restaurants in the UK at the National Restaurant Awards.

    Adejoke Bakare: The Nigerian Who’s UK’s First Black Female Michelin-Starred Chef

    Photo source: Instagram/@chishuru

    By 2023, Chishuru had outgrown Brixton Village, prompting a move to Fitzrovia, London.

    “With a mixture of great relief and excitement we can finally announce that reservations are now OPEN for our restaurant in Fitzrovia!” read a post shared on the restaurant’s official Instagram page in August 2023.

     [ad]

    A Michelin-starred restaurant

    Adejoke Bakare: The Nigerian Who’s UK’s First Black Female Michelin-Starred Chef

    Photo source: Instagram/@chishuru

    On Monday, February 6, news broke that Chishuru achieved the Michelin milestone, less than six months after setting up a permanent place in Fitzrovia in September 2023.

    “Until this morning I was just focused on enjoying the accolade itself, which I’m hugely honoured by. But seeing reactions on social media today, I’m starting to feel a weight of responsibility on my shoulders too. It’s lovely,” she said in an interview.

    Nigerians have also taken to social media to celebrate chef Adejoke Bakare for the inspiring and record-breaking feat.

    What does Chishuru serve?

    Chef Adejoke Bakare told the Guardian that Chishuru’s menu is not restricted to Nigeria food.

    “You can’t describe our food as “Nigerian” though, because there’s no one food tradition… much of the culinary history predates the lines on a map. My parents are Yoruba and Igbo, and I grew up in Hausa territory, so my food is informed by all three of those culinary styles.”

    The restaurant offers a set menu only, priced at £75pp for dinner and £35pp for lunch. Chishuru’s lunch menu features fermented crispy rice cake with smoky, meaty mushrooms, creamy and light corn cake with fragrant coconut, date and tamarind sauce and grilled breadfruit. For dinner, the restaurant serves moi-moi (bean cake, bone marrow, omelette, red pepper, scallop roe), peppersoup (seasonal shellfish, radish, apple), asun (roasted cull goat belly, glaze, pepper relish) and imoyo (Newlyn cod fillet, fermented tomato sauce, Scotch bonnet, okra).

    Want to start your culinary journey? This article offers insights: How to Become a Chef in Nigeria

    Adeyinka Odutuyo

    , ,
  • Nigerian People’s Love Affair With Soy Sauce Explained

    As a kid, soy sauce was one of those condiments in my mother’s kitchen that I didn’t quite understand. I don’t think she understood it either. It was just there on the rack, collecting dust and grease. On days when I tried to test my culinary skills, I’d get lucky with curry and thyme, but never with soy sauce. It was too salty, and once, the dark brown colour left my fried egg a complete mess. Like my mum, I abandoned it on the rack, hardly using it even when a recipe called for it.

    Nine years later, I crossed paths with soy sauce again while I was at the NYSC orientation camp in Iyana Ipaja. Camp food was unpleasant, and it was hard to tell which Mami Market vendors had the best offering. But one name kept coming up from my roommates: Korede Spaghetti. Everyone swore by how tasty it was until I made a trip to Mami Market to find out for myself. 

    I’d make about 15 trips to Korede’s stall throughout my stay in camp. There was something different about his stir-fried spaghetti and jollof. The colour was a dark brownish red that leaned towards waakye but just wasn’t as dark. It wasn’t until my final week in camp that I discovered one of his not-so-secret ingredients.

    That day, I’d gotten to his stall a little too early and was lucky to watch him season the pasta. As someone who enjoyed cooking, I paid attention to everything that went into his wok, as I had plans to recreate the recipe once I got out of camp. Right there, I watched him pull out a bottle of soy sauce — the same one we’d abandoned in my mother’s kitchen — and sprinkle a generous drizzle on the pasta. I watched the pasta go from bright red to the dark brownish red that had been a mystery all the while. 

    The next time I was at a supermarket, I picked two bottles of soy sauce off the rack, and from that moment on, there was no going back. But I wasn’t alone in my culinary discovery.

    [ad]

    A culinary fraud

    On Monday, December 19, Nigerians came across a whistleblower’s tweet raising concerns over the many versions of Amoy, a Japanese brand that had gained dominance in the Nigerian soy sauce market. The X user shared pictures of the product with altered spellings from prominent supermarkets and department stores in Nigeria.

    The tweet would serve as a wake-up call to Nigerians who dashed to their kitchens to check their condiment racks. Pictures of soy sauce bottles with AMQY, AMOY’c and AMOYI, soon flooded the internet, with only a few boasting of the original product. 

    Amid the bigger conversation of the health and safety hazards to buyers of fake food products, other questions loomed: Why are Nigerians invested in soy sauce? What do they cook with it?” I had to find out.

    Taiye discovered soy sauce through Nigerian food bloggers on Instagram and YouTube who all seemingly had a craze for stir-fry and gravy recipes.

    “Since the food bloggers swore by it, I knew I had to stock up. I love anything stir-fry, so I use it for my stir-fried rice, spaghetti and noodles. It also gives a flavour that’s common to Asian recipes. And since most stir-fry recipes have an Asian origin, it made sense to me to use an ingredient they use to make the meal as authentic to the recipe as possible.”

    “I started a stir-fry pasta and jollof rice business four months after NYSC but noticed something was off about the colour of the food I sold. Mine came out like the regular jollof rice and pasta, and I didn’t like it. I checked the pages of food vendors in Lagos who sold the same meals, and noticed the distinct colour of their meals. In their tutorials, they claimed soy sauce was the secret behind the colour, but I wasn’t convinced. Later, I visited a caterer friend in Lagos and saw her using it to cook. I didn’t bother to ask questions, but I returned to Abeokuta with packs of dark soy sauce. I can’t remember if I even got the real deal or one of the counterfeits. But that hack changed the game for my business before I shut it down to relocate,” Damilola, a food vendor said.

    One thing is clear, for most Nigerians, soy sauce is first considered for the aesthetics it brings to meals above everything else.

    “I knew it as an ingredient for seasoning, but I just never knew how to use it. It’s salty and doesn’t give the savoury sweetness you’d get from seasoning cubes,” Kehinde, a soy-sauce consumer, shared. “One day, I was going through my WhatsApp status and one of my male friends who loved cooking shared a picture of this wicked-looking stir-fry rice. I’d made stir-fry in the past, but it never had the colour I saw in my friend’s photo. I stormed his DM with a simple comment: “How did you get it to look this way?” His response? Soy sauce. And that was how I returned to this ingredient I once disregarded.”

    Fake or original, is soy sauce safe?

    Some Nigerians, who aren’t fans of soy sauce have questions about the risk factors of a condiment that’s seemingly high in sodium.

    Here’s a breakdown of one tablespoon of soy sauce according to experts:

    Calories: 8

    Carbohydrates: 1 gram

    Fat: 0 grams

    Protein: 1 gram

    Sodium: 902 mg

    Just one tablespoon provides 38% of the Recommended Daily Intake (RDI) of sodium. Moderation is key and it is advisable to not pair the sauce with processed food. In Nigeria, where soy sauce is mostly combined with processed chicken franks and sausages, the health concerns raised are valid.

    Since I rediscovered soy sauce during NYSC in 2018, my relationship with the condiment has been at a safe arm’s length. I’ve always known there was something much too salty about that sauce. It only makes a grand appearance in my kitchen the few times I’m in the mood for stir-fry pasta or rice. And with the current conversation surrounding fake products everywhere, I’m caught in a web of confusion. Do I check that I have the correct brand of Amoy in my cabinet or postpone till my next stir-fry craving jumps out sometime in 2024?

    QUIZ: What Brand of Soy Sauce Are You?

    Adeyinka Odutuyo

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  • Trenches Inspired Suya Recipes You Should Try 

    They might carry fancy names like suya melt, designer noodles and agege burger these days, but these suya recipes are rooted in the trenches.

    Designer noodles

    Source: Dobby’s Signature

    As an undergrad student, noodles and eggs didn’t quite hit the spot for me, and I couldn’t afford to go all out and buy turkey or chicken as my protein option, but with as little as ₦200 suya, my noodle game took a straight zero to 100 spin. Find a full recipe here.

    Agege bread suya

    Source: Myactivekitchen

    I remember visiting a friend once, and he went on and on about giving me a burger treat. Tell me why this brother showed up with agege bread? Anyway, he told me not to judge but to take a bite first. I did, and it was the best thing that entered my mouth that month. He’d sandwiched the bread with a rich serving of beef suya, yaji and mayo. Find a recipe here.

    [ad]

    Suya rice

    Source: AnitaOkereke

    I remember an older cousin making this when I was younger on days when we were home alone and couldn’t pull enough money for Mr Biggs. It was an elevated version of concoction rice, only with a generous serving of suya. These days, you’ll find bougie Lagos restaurants calling it “Designer Jollof” and charging through the roof. Find a full recipe here.

    Suya Shawarma

    Source: Sisi Jemimah

    Suya is a cheaper filling compared to chicken franks or chicken breast. But the yaji spice has a way of elevating the taste of shawarma. Find a full recipe here. 

    Suya sauce

    Source: Cookpad

    Another trenches-inspired recipe, this sauce bangs when you don’t have enough money to cook a proper pot of stew with chunks of beef, chicken or turkey. A quick linkup with the maisuya on your street, and with ₦500 suya, pepper mix and seasoning, you’ll have yourself a tasty sauce for white rice or pasta. Find a full recipe here. 

    Garri and suya

    Source: Scrollforth

    The good ol’ unceremonious way of enjoying suya. You don’t need a recipe for this, just make sure you use mortuary-standard water for the garri. I may have added yaji spice to my garri for extra tinge, but that’s just the Yoruba in me. 

    Suya fried rice

    Source: AromaArena

    The trenches version of fried rice complements the absence of liver and shrimps with soulfully spiced chicken or beef suya. I fell in love with this recipe after ordering from a popular IG vendor, and I’ve never gone back. Find a full recipe here. 

    You’ll have your fill of grilled, peppered or fried meat and many more at Zikoko’s meat festival on November 11. Have you bought your Burning Ram ticket? You can do that real quick here.

    Adeyinka Odutuyo

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  • The Best Meat for Nigerian Swallow, According to Chat GPT

    My friends never agree with me when I argue with my full chest that there’s no beating turkey’s supremacy. It’s that meat that gives, whether you’re having it with swallow, rice or as a standalone grilled or peppered treat.

    Since Artificial Intelligence (AI) claims to know all, I decided to put it to the test. I went to the almighty Chat GPT to help us rank the best meat for swallow in particular. While I can’t say I completely agree with this list, AI told no lies.

    6. Goat meat

    The Best Meat for Nigerian Swallow, According to Chat GPT

    Source: Dooneyskitchen

    If you can ignore the strong stench, Chat GPT might have a point here. Goat meat is bae, especially when you have it with white or black amala. But why does it have to be so expensive? A portion sells for as high as ₦500 – 1000 at local bukkas. Not a good spend when you consider the ponmo you’ll get at the same price.

    My ranking: 3

    5. Chicken

    The Best Meat for Nigerian Swallow, According to Chat GPT

    Source: Sisijemimah

    How can? I completely disagree with this ranking. The only time chicken should show face on your plate is when it’s with rice, spaghetti or chips. If for any reason you choose to serve chicken with any Nigerian swallow, it should be deep-fried to a crunch and soaked in the pot of soup for three working days.

    My ranking: 4

    4. Beef Suya

    Source: SisiJemimah

    Sound ridiculous, but AI might be on to something here. Have you ever tried a generous serving of spicy suya with vegetable soup? It is a serve. However, by all means, avoid kilichi with any type of Nigerian swallow.

    My ranking: 5

     [ad]

    3. Catfish or tilapia

    The Best Meat for Nigerian Swallow, According to Chat GPT

    Source: Dobby’s Signature

    The focus is meat, but if AI insists we should include any type of fish in this list, then I’ll have to partially agree. I think the only acceptable way to eat catfish is to have it smoked to perfection or in a spicy pepper soup broth. Tilapia, on the other hand, is a serve with any Nigerian swallow.

    My ranking: 6

    2. Turkey

    Source: Queenvarieties

    This is your second reminder that this user is a shameless turkey stan who believes in the ultimate supremacy of turkey. Grilled, peppered, fried, boiled, it’s the one meat that goes with all swallow and all its varying servings.

    My ranking: 1

    1. Offal (Tripe, liver, kidney)

    The Best Meat for Nigerian Swallow, According to Chat GPT

    Also known as “inu eran”, there’s no 100% amala satisfaction without a generous serving of stewed offal. It’s the only way to enjoy the true amala experience, although I cannot say the same for other swallow offerings. 

    My ranking: 2

    You’ll have your fill of grilled, peppered or fried meat and many more at Zikoko’s meat festival in November. Have you bought your Burning Ram ticket? You can do that real quick here.

    Adeyinka Odutuyo

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  • A Meaty Adventure Through the Streets of Lagos

    I recently struck a bet with my friend, Ori Ejo, who was visiting Lagos for a couple of days from Osogbo. He went on and on about how we’re suffering in Lagos, paying the most for the most basic things. I couldn’t let that slander go.

    Yes, I know Laygurss is expensive, but it’s not so bad that you can’t ball on a ₦5k budget.

    A Meaty Adventure Through the Streets of Lagos

    So I told Ori Ejo I’d go on a ₦5k meat tour, and it’d be far better than what ₦5k will get him in Osogbo. 

    A little back story about Ori Ejo. He’s the friend in this article who crushed seasoning cubes on chunks of snake meat. Ori Ejo, which means “snake head” in Yoruba, became my nickname for him after I discovered his love for snake meat.

    Now, what do you get for ₦5k on the streets of Lagos? First off, erase any idea of private cabs for this mini adventure. But it’s not like okadas and keke maruwas are cheap these days, no thanks to the fuel subsidy removal.

    A Meaty Adventure Through the Streets of Lagos

    My take-off point was the popular Olosha market in Mushin because there was no way I’d miss out on linking up with my meat plug. He has the best ponmo deals that fit right into my ₦5k budget. I got a decent cut for ₦800 and was left with a balance of ₦4000 — after paying ₦200 for t-fare.

    A Meaty Adventure Through the Streets of Lagos

    Next was this barbecue spot around Shitta Underbridge in Surulere. I used to eye this spot a lot because there was always a long queue of people trying to buy from them, and that meant they had to be doing something right. Tell me why I got there and these guys wanted to charge ₦3000 for barbecued chicken and chips. I mean, it’s a fair price, but I expected a cheaper deal for a street spot. ₦3k would’ve done serious damage to my budget, so it was a no-no.

    Burning Ram is Coming. Sign up to be notified when ticket sales begin.

    But you see, the beauty of Layguyrss is you’ll always find something. What did I find in this instance? Grilled chicken franks. I didn’t even know this was a thing, but it looked so good, I had to try it. It was just ₦300 for a stick. I bought two.

    I knew this my waka wouldn’t be complete without suya and turkey, but I also knew it’d be hard to get both on a ₦3k budget. This is where connection comes in. Sorry to break it to you, but you cannot go far in Lagos without connections. It doesn’t even have to be people in government. You also need to know people in the streets to amp up your street cred. 

    To cut the long story short, I hopped on a bus to Aguda, where my brother had a turkey grill spot. I mean, I wasn’t even supposed to pay but I had an agenda that needed to agend. I sweet-talked my brother into selling a piece of turkey wing for ₦1500. The going rate would have been ₦2k.

    I was running out of cash and knew it was time to head back home. But not without suya. I had a plug, Bello, just outside the LUTH gate in Idi-Araba, and he was the perfect person to wrap up this waka. My ₦1500 got me a stick of chicken suya at ₦500, beef suya at ₦400 and ₦200 masa.

    I gagged Ori Ejo when I returned home, but it wasn’t because his point about Lagos being expensive was wrong. I was just street-smart. 

    Now, who wants to give me ₦100k to properly eat all the meat I want at the Burning Ram meat festival in Laygurrrsss?

    A Meaty Adventure Through the Streets of Lagos

    Sign up here to be notified when ticket sales begin.

    [ad][/ad]

    Adeyinka Odutuyo

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  • Like Boli, These Nigerian Meals Deserve Their Own Festivals

    I’m not sure who’s in charge of these things, but it’s about time we wrap up the boli, jollof and ofada rice festivals. Before you crucify me, I’m all for celebrating our local cuisines, but let’s be real, are these the OG meals that hold us down?

    On your broke and tired AF days, did you go running after firewood jollof or ofada rice with assorted beef? I don’t think so. These are the meals we need to give their flowers from now on.

    Garri

    Nigerians go on and on about how garri has been a lifesaver since time memorial, but not one person has considered throwing a festival for this meal? Come on now. It’s giving selective favouritism. We need to throw a huge festival of garri lovers for this versatile staple. I mean, it gives us eba, garri cake, garri soup, good ol’ soaked garri with groundnut and more.

    Agege bread

    Like Boli, These Nigerian Meals Deserve Their Own Festivals

    Source: K’s cuisines

    Right after garri as a lifesaving Nigerian staple is agege bread. I can’t count how many days I didn’t know what to eat and agege bread came through — the hot, fluffy and brown type that soaks up the butter after each spread. We need a festival that’ll have the best agege bread, aganyin beans and akara sellers on ground.

    Beans

    Like Boli, These Nigerian Meals Deserve Their Own Festivals

    Source: Playfoodbyyinka

    People can act like they don’t give a shit about beans, but in the grand scheme of things, this is one Nigerian staple we can’t seem to do without. Gbegiri, akara, ewa aganyin, moi-moi, beans porridge, beans and corn… do I need to keep going, or can you see the range? 

    Agbado

    At least, we’re sure to get government sponsorship with this one. Our president may roll his eyes at other meals on this list, but we know where his heart is when it comes to maize. We’re living in the agbado season. What better way to celebrate this staple than with an agbado festival? From roasted corn and coconut to buttered corn to boiled corn and ube to beans and corn, the meal options at the festival will be surplus.  

    Poundo yam

    Like Boli, These Nigerian Meals Deserve Their Own Festivals

    I’ve got a strong feeling that classism is the only reason why we’ve singled out amala to be celebrated out of all the Nigerian swallow offerings. Poundo yam should be that guy. Easy to make, no weird smell and goes well with all the soups you can possibly think of. We’ll just need festival attendees to show up and show off the best soup from their tribes.

    Suya

    Like Boli, These Nigerian Meals Deserve Their Own Festivals

    My question is, how did dodo and Ofada rice get their own festivals before suya? Remember all the nights when you needed a chewy protein to accompany your garri, noodles or concoction rice? Suya was there. We’ll change suya’s story soon.

    We’re here to change suya’s story. Burning Ram, our latest upcoming meat festival, will give this GOATed meal its flowers.

    Adeyinka Odutuyo

    , , ,
  • What Are Your Protein Options With a ₦1k Budget?

    It’s getting harder to enjoy the simple things of life in Nigeria, so we really need Jagaban to do something fast about the food inflation problem.

    Chicken, turkey and beef have now become optional in a lot of homes, with some people saving it for special occasions only. God, abeg. Things are THAT bad, and that’s why this article exists.

    Eggs

    What Are Your Protein Options With a ₦1k Budget?

    You might not get the chewy and juicy satisfaction that beef or turkey gives, but at least, protein deficiency will have nothing on you. Bonus point if you deep fry your boiled eggs and soak them in the stew.

    Ponmo

    What Are Your Protein Options With a ₦1k Budget?

    Don’t go for the regular type. Ask the market traders for “white ponmo”. It’s tastier, cleaner and sometimes comes with small chunks of beef! You should also season and boil properly before throwing in your soup.

    Round fish (panla)

    What Are Your Protein Options With a ₦1k Budget?

    Think of how garri saves life, and you’ll come to truly appreciate this fish. With ₦1000, you can get five to eight pieces, depending on the size and market you’re buying from.

    Dry red prawn

    Source: 24 hours market

    Best for when you’re making budget soups like ogbono, okra or egusi. A small peak milk tin of them sells for ₦500 – ₦700.

    Crabs

    What Are Your Protein Options With a ₦1k Budget?

    Source: Alice

    Forget the expensive price points at restaurants and fast-food joints, crabs are one of the cheapest seafood options in the market. A thousand naira worth might even be too much for a family.

    Dried crayfish

    Source: Market NG

    You might not get anything to chew on, but this will elevate the taste of your vegetable, ogbono or egusi soups.

    Chicken feet

    Source: Simply Recipes

    Forget the bad PR, this is actually a great protein option you should consider whether you’re on a budget or not. The major key here is to clean and season properly.

    Adeyinka Odutuyo

    , , ,
  • Grocery Is Not What You Think It Is in Tinubu’s Nigeria

    Nigerians always get creative in finding new and hilarious coping mechanisms when our leaders show us shege pro-max unprovoked, which is all the time. 

    Grocery Is Not What You Think It Is in Tinubu’s Nigeria
    A tray of groceries, chocolate crunchies, floating berries, sweetener and white caramel

    In case you’ve heard your friend or neighbour using the phrase “floating berries and groceries” loosely on Twitter, it’s not because they’re rich. Let’s bring you up to speed real quick.

    Grocery

    Grocery Is Not What You Think It Is in Tinubu’s Nigeria

    The most popular of the bunch, grocery in Jagaban’s Nigeria is simply the new name for garri.

    Floating berries

    Grocery Is Not What You Think It Is in Tinubu’s Nigeria

    Our sense of humour will always get us through the tough times because tell me why this is the new name for groundnut. Tears!

    Spicy steak

    Grocery Is Not What You Think It Is in Tinubu’s Nigeria

    There’s no need to feel intimidated if your friend goes on and on about spicy steak. In Tinubu’s Nigeria, that’s the new name for kilishi.

    White caramel

    Grocery Is Not What You Think It Is in Tinubu’s Nigeria

    Source: All recipes

    Look no further, this is milk—whether powdered or evaporated.

    Crunchy peas

    Source: cookpad

    One of the biggest scams of the agbado era is the new name for roasted corn.

    Sweetener

    Source: CNN

    Sugar has also gotten a fancy name. For example, if you want to have garri with milk, groundnut and sugar, you’ll say:  “I want to have some groceries, floating berries, some sweetener topped with a dash of white caramel.”

    Seafood

    Source: wikimedia commons

    Please dear, you won’t be getting jumbo prawns or calamari. This is the new name for deep-fried panla. God, abeg.

    Chocolate crunches

    Source: Tasteatlas

    Again, no need for any form of intimidation if you see anyone using this term loosely in Tinubu’s Nigeria; they’re talking about kulikuli.

    Heated maize smoothie

    Source: Grainfield

    You’ve probably had it while it was cold and raining but since you were not informed at the time, now you know this is pap. A.k.a ogi.

    Oceanic Aqua

    Source: iStock

    A glass of oceanic aqua please. 

    Adeyinka Odutuyo

    , , ,
  • POV: White Rice Cheats on Stew With Egusi

    Stew is on his way back home exhausted after long board meetings with tomato, pepper and onions. He can’t wait to get back to his wife, white rice, who decided to work from home today. 

    He gets home, unlocks the door, and the first thing he sees when he enters is his wife on the dining table with Egusi on top of her.

    Stew: W—what’s going on? 

    White rice: Babe, it’s not what it looks like. I swear!

    Stew: Of course, you’ll use the standard cheating line.

    White rice: I’m not cheating, babe. It’s really not what it looks like.

    *Egusi just sits there looking smug.*

    Stew: I can’t- I can’t do this. *Stew storms out of the house and drives off*

    White rice to Egusi: Why are you just sitting there? Why didn’t you tell him the truth?

    Egusi: What truth? That I finally got the girl I wanted?

    White rice: Are you mad? 

    Egusi: White rice, you know I’ve wanted you for a long time. And I always thought you deserved better than boring ass stew. 

    *White rice looks at Egusi like she wants to slap the hell out of him.* 

    Egusi: I don’t even understand why you’re upset. The way he reacted without giving you the chance to explain shows he clearly doesn’t trust you. 

    White rice: Anybody would react the same way after seeing someone on top of their partner. 

    Egusi: I wouldn’t have. And that’s why you should be with me?

    White rice: Are you okay? Aren’t you dating eba?

    Egusi: Forget about that. That’s not important. 

    White rice: Now. I see why pounded yam broke up with you. Mscheeew 

    *Egusi tries to hold White rice’s hand but she pulls it away*

    Egusi: White rice, you and I are meant to be, and you know this. People outside say we’re a bad combination, but I disagree. We go perfectly together. Fuck what anybody else says.

    *White rice looks at Egusi with irritation.*

    White rice: You’re just saying rubbish. Please, leave my house.

    Egusi: But we haven’t finished —

    White rice: Get out! 

    It’s the middle of the night. White rice is sleeping in the living room when she hears a rustling of keys and realises it must be stew coming back home. She hopes to God he has calmed down. 

    Stew unlocks the door. When he walks in, it’s clear he’s been drinking palm oil, way too much of it. 

    White rice walks over to help him before he hurts himself. There goes the conversation she wanted to have with him tonight. 

    Stew: You hurt me *in a slurred voice* 

    White rice: I promise you I didn’t, baby. But we’ll talk about it tomorrow. 

    Stew: Tomorrow, I’m moving out.

    *White rice drops him on the bed* 

    White rice: You’re not going anywhere in Jesus’ name. This was all a misunderstanding and we’ll sort it—

    She hears some snoring and realises Stew is fast asleep. 

    She sighs and begins to take off his shoes and pants. 

    White rice is sitting up in bed using her phone when she hears Stew groan beside her. 

    White rice: Good morning, ba-

    Stew: You’re texting Egusi, abi?

    White rice: What? Okay, time to put all of this to an end. I need you to not say anything while I talk, okay? 

    *Stew rolls his eyes*

    White rice: You know how this brand called Zikoko is always pushing the agenda that people should eat me and Egusi together?

    Stew: Oh, I should answer? You said I shouldn’t talk na. Okay. Yes, I know.

    White rice: So they reached out to me and asked if I’d take a picture with Egusi for one of their articles. They offered to pay a huge sum of money, and since we’re trying to japa, I agreed. 

    Stew: If so, why didn’t you take the picture side by side? 

    Egusi: Because they wanted to show that Egusi and I really belonged together. If we didn’t do it like that, they wouldn’t have paid. I can show you the email. I’m not lying, babe. And we weren’t even naked. I’d only been parboiled, and Egusi wasn’t completely done. 

    Stew stares into his wife’s eyes and sees she’s actually telling the truth. 

    Stew: I’m sorry I didn’t give you the chance to explain, babe.

    White rice: I completely understand. You owe me extra meat for the stress sha. 

    Stew: Hahahaha

    And they lived happily ever after. 

    ALSO READ: Amala, Pounded Yam and Eba Debate for the Title of Best Swallow 

    Dammy Eneli

    , ,
  • Amala, Pounded Yam and Eba Debate for the Title of Best Swallow 

    Moderator: Happy New Year and welcome to 2023! This year, we have a long list of people who want to make their case in front of the judge. For our first debate of the year at Zikoko HQ, Amala, Eba and Pounded Yam will go against each other for the title of “Best Swallow in Nigeria”. To make it more interesting, Semo will make a case for why they should be included as one of the top swallows. 

    As usual, there are two rounds. The three parties will present their arguments to the judges in the first round. They have two minutes each, so they have to be as brief as possible. In the second round, they’ll go toe-to-toe. May the best swallow win.

    Eba, you’re up first. 

    (Eba walks to the stand) 

    Image credit: Tribune online

    Eba: Good morning my able panel of judges, accurate timekeeper and moderator. My name is Eba, and I’m here to assert the motion that I’m the best swallow in Nigeria. You see, I’m a staple food in every Nigerian home. When there’s nothing to eat, I’m there. And unlike Amala, I’m not limited to one soup.

    Amala:

    Eba: I’m the cheapest swallow, and I come in many variations — yellow, white and Ijebu garri — so people get to experience me differently. Oh, and let’s not forget I’m easy to make. I’m ready in five minutes, and you don’t have to use all the power in your body to turn or pound me. 

    (Eba walks back to their seat as Amala walks to the stage) 

    Amala: There is this constant debate about whether I’m trash or not. But the people who say I’m trash usually haven’t tried me yet.

    Exhibit A

    I may be tough to make, but trust me, I’m worth the wait.

    Pounded yam: Are you flirting with the judge?

    Amala: Shut up. What are you saying? 

    Like I was saying, I’m not a common commodity eaten by everybody, like eba and pounded yam. I’m a rare gem. I’m mostly seen at parties where people rush me. My dear audience, how many times do people ask for eba at parties? Are they even invited for parties? Exactly. I’m the most talked about swallow, and if I wasn’t the best, people wouldn’t be out there fighting for me.

    (Amala walks back to their seat as pounded yam mounts the stage) 

    Pounded yam: Good morning, everyone. My name is pounded yam, and I’m THE best swallow in Nigeria. First of all, I’m the only sweet swallow; people can decide to eat me without soup, and I’ll still taste delicious. My skin is smooth, so unlike eba, I won’t get stuck in your throat. Swallows like semo and fufu tried to copy me but they didn’t turn out right, and that’s why many people don’t like them. I’m wanted both at home and at parties, and that’s why I’m the best.

    (Semo walks to the stand)

    Image credit: Business day

    Semo: I’m tired. I’m tired of the constant semo slander. Many years ago, people loved me. I was one of the top swallows in many households. Then the Gen-Zs and younger millennials came around and started tainting my name. Now, pounded yam has the audacity to tell me I’m trying to be like them. Me!

    Amala: Ermmm. This isn’t supposed to be a movie monologue. It’s a debate. Get to your points.

    Semo:

    I need people to stop slandering me. Not only is it affecting my mental health, but also, everything bad being said about me comes from Gen-Zs. So clearly, there’s an agenda against me. How can you say I taste like ass when Fufu exists? 

    I look and taste good. If not, why did Brighto always cook me in the Big Brother Naija house that year? If I’m that bad, why are factories still producing me? Clearly, I’m wanted. It’s 2023, time to stop with the insults and grow up. I’m a good ass swallow (no pun intended), and I deserve to be added to the list of best swallows. 

    (Semo walks back to their seat, and the moderator returns to the stage) 

    Moderator: Well done on the first round. Now, it’s time to face one another. You have five minutes.

    Amala: Pounded yam, how do you expect to be the best swallow when people have to suffer from body aches every time they pound you? 

    Pounded yam: If you had some sense, you’d know there are new methods that don’t involve pounding. 

    Eba: I don’t even know why this debate exists. I’m clearly the best. Do you know how many times I’m eaten in a week? Some people even eat me for breakfast and lunch. 

    Amala: Being cheap and available to be used by everybody doesn’t make you the best. It just means you’re low-quality.

    Eba: Coming from the person who’s constantly called trash? Not the pot calling the kettle black. 

    Amala:

    Semo: I don’t care about all these things you people are saying. I just want everyone to agree I deserve to be at the top just like all of you. 

    Amala: See this plagiarised pounded yam talking. Abeg, shift. 

    Semo:

    Eba: Please, don’t make pounded yam feel important. *Looks at pounded yam* People barely eat you or talk about you. Sometimes, we even forget you exist. Even semo is more talked about than you. Even if it’s slander.

    Semo:

    Pounded yam: What is this one saying? You that tastes like sand. You’re only good for sticking things on the wall.  

    Amala: And you have a serious case of identity crisis because you can’t decide if you want to be yellow, white or Ijebu.

    Eba: Are you mad? 

    Amala: And Pounded yam, you make people feel too heavy. That’s why they don’t like to eat you. 

    Pounded yam: People don’t like to eat you cause you’re black.

    Amala: Wow! The colourism jumped out. Not that I expected better from a light-skinned person anyway. 

    Moderator: Okay, that’s enough. Time’s up. Let’s take a short break to give the judges time to collate the results and decide on a winner. 

    (One of the judges walks to the stage) 

    Judge: You all did well in your arguments. But a winner must be decided.  

    Judge: And the best swallow to exist in Nigeria is… Amala!

    Amala: 

    ALSO READ: Port Harcourt Bole and Lagos Boli Fight for the Title of “Best Roasted Plantain” 

    Dammy Eneli

    , , ,
  • Coconut, Jollof and Fried Rice Fight for the Title of Best Rice in Nigeria 

    Moderator: Today at Zikoko HQ, we have three debaters — fried, jollof and coconut rice — going against each other for the “Best Rice in Nigeria” title. There are two rounds. The three parties will present their arguments to the judges in the first round. 

    They have two minutes each to make their arguments, so they need to be as brief as possible. In the second round, they’ll go toe-to-toe. May the best rice win.

    Coconut rice, you’re up first.

    (Coconut rice walks to the stand) 

    Coconut rice: Good morning my able panel of judges, accurate timekeeper and moderator. My name is coconut rice, and I’m here to assert the motion that I’m the best rice in Nigeria.  

    Jollof rice: 

    Coconut: Unlike my colleagues, fried and jollof, I’m the healthiest rice. The coconut milk used to make me has anti-viral properties and is good for brain development and bone health. I am not fried or cooked in oil like my opponents here, who can clog people’s hearts from the amount of fat inside them. Also, I’m highly sought after because I’m not common. Also, have you ever walked into a room where I’m being cooked? The aroma is so divine it’ll make you crave me more. I can be eaten alone or with my friends: shrimps, prawns, carrots, peas, beef and co. Whichever way you choose to eat me, I’ll taste great. 

    (Coconut rice walks back to its seat as Jollof walks to the stage) 

    ALSO READ: 5 Types of Rice Nigerians Need to Respect More

    Jollof: Good morning, my able panel of judges, accurate timekeeper and moderator. My name is Jollof, and I’m here to assert that I’m the best rice in Nigeria. Now, I’m not going to come here and mention health facts that I Googled five minutes before getting on stage. 

    (Jollof smirks and looks at coconut rice)

    Coconut: 

    Jollof: I don’t need to say too much. I’m the most popular rice out there. I’m so famous that African countries constantly fight about which version of me is the best. No event is complete without me there, whether it’s a wedding, office party or burial. Even in game nights, I’m there. I’m a delicious necessity; people just can’t do without me.

    Thank you. 

    (Jollof rice walks back to their seat as fried rice mounts the stage) 

    Photo credit: JCI

    Fried: Good morning everyone. My name is fried rice, and I’m here to tell you that I’m the best of the best. I may not be at every event like Jollof, but sometimes we end up sitting side by side on plates.  When that happens, people tend to eat me more because they’re just tired of Jollof.

    Jollof: 

    Fried: I’m famous in Africa and worldwide. I can be made in many different ways, and you’ll never feel like you’re eating the same type of rice. You can’t get bored with me. Families love me during special occasions like Christmas, Ramadan, birthdays etc.  And on that note, I hope I have been able to convince you and not confuse you, that I’m the best rice in Nigeria. Thank you.

    (Fried rice walks back to his seat, and the moderator comes back to the stage) 

    Moderator: Well done on the first round. Now it’s time to face one another. You have five minutes.

    Jollof: Fried rice, if you’re so popular worldwide, why are you here trying to fight for the title of the best rice in Nigeria. 

    Fried: Because Nigerians are yet to properly acknowledge my greatness. And if the judges rule me as the best rice, people will stop serving your mediocre ass at events.

    Jollof: I can never stop being served. I am the king of foods in this country, I’ve been around the longest, and I deserve to be voted as best rice. 

    Coconut: You realise that all you bring to the table is tomato and pepper. You’re literally white rice and stew mixed together. 

    Jollof: What’s this one saying? Elders are talking, and you think you can put your mouth? 

    Coconut: Such a classic boomer move, trying to use age to win an argument.

    Jollof: Yes, as long as I’m older than you, I deserve to be the best.

    Coconut: 2+2 = water bottle. What are you even saying?

    Fried: What even gave you the audacity to be here in the first place? Nobody eats you like that. How are you here, and white rice isn’t?

    Coconut: How can white rice be here instead of me. White rice can’t even stand without stew. 

    (White rice walks in through the doors and goes straight to the moderator)

    (All the other rice look confused)

    White rice: Good morning sir. I just found out there was a debate about the best type of rice in Nigeria, and I don’t know why I wasn’t invited. 

    Moderator: I’m very sure we sent you an invite. 

    White: I didn’t see anything in my e-mail.

    Moderator: Maybe it’s your network. What network do you use? 

    White: Glo — shit!

    Moderator: You see. Anyway, you’ve already missed the first round, but you can join now and make your case. 

    (White rice walks over to where the other debaters are)

    White: I can’t believe all of you are gathered here to argue about who’s the best rice when I exist. 

    Coconut: You that depends on other people’s sauce to be eaten?

    White rice: That may be true, but the other people I come with are bad bitches — pepper sauce, turkey stew, curries, vegetable stew and so forth. 

    Fried rice: But you still rely on others 

    White rice: Don’t you rely on curry and thyme and your many ingredients that take forever to cut? As for jollof, you think you’re big because you’re served at events? I’m a staple food in all Nigerian homes. Hello? Have you heard of Sunday rice?. 

    Jollof: And that’s why people get tired of your old ass. You may come with many “bad bitches”, but the most common one we know you with is tomato stew that comes with one small piece of chicken. 

    Coconut: You this baby-boomer rice, you need to rest. Your time has passed. Gen-Z rice is here to take over. 

    Fried, Jollof and white: Shut up!

    Moderator: Okay, that’s enough. Time’s up. Let’s take a short break and give the judges time to collate the results and decide on a winner. 

    White: But I didn’t even have enough time to make my argument!

    Moderator: That’s not on us, blame Glo

    White rice: (storms out in anger)

    (One of the judges walks to the stage) 

    Judge: You all did well in your arguments. Unfortunately, one person came late, but we’ve judged according to the arguments they were able to make within the time they had. A winner must still be decided. 

    Judge: And the best rice to exist in Nigeria is…Fried rice!!!

    Fried rice: 

     ALSO READ: Port Harcourt Bole and Lagos Boli Fight for the Title of “Best Roasted Plantain” 

    Dammy Eneli

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  • Is This What You People Were Eating in Boarding School?

    I didn’t go to a boarding house for secondary school, so I have no idea what the eating situation there is like. But I’m constantly hearing stories about terrible school food and the weirdest combinations students are made to eat. 

    I’ve been intrigued about this for the longest time. Today, I finally decided to ask young Nigerians about the most bizarre things they ate in boarding school. Their answers will terrify you. 

    “We mixed egusi soup and beans because we were late for lunch”

    —  Emeka*,19

     On this particular day, eba and egusi soup was served for lunch. Unfortunately, my friends and I couldn’t make it to the lunch room on time, and all the eba had finished. We collected the soup, and some girl in the lunch room said she had leftover beans from breakfast. Because hunger was killing us, we took it and mixed it with the egusi. We created a space in the middle of the beans and poured the soup, and that’s how we ate it. The soup was so watery, some ate it like beans and garri. They’d take one spoon of beans, then drink the egusi.

    Another time, we had Jollof garri. This was made by cooking raw garri, palm oil, crayfish, onions and pepper, in a pot with no water. I still eat it to this day. The only problem is the severe constipation you’ll face much later. 

    “I drank garri with sardine inside”

    —  Abiola*, 21

    School food always tasted terrible, and we would do anything not to eat it. This meant we had to rely on our provisions whenever we were hungry. Once our provisions and money for snacks finished, we had to come up with ways to combine foods so we won’t die of starvation. 

    A lot of the weird things we ate revolved around eba. There was “ebansa”:eba and sardine, “ebange”: eba and geisha and “ebanspice”: eba with Maggi, salt, pepper and a little water. But it all started with “ebanketch”, which is eba and ketchup. 

    I remember a time we stole scent leaves from someone’s farm, washed and cut it, put it in a plate of water, and added salt, Maggi and pepper. We ate it with eba. When the eba finished, we ate the rest of the “soup” with Cabin biscuit. We spent the rest of the day going back and forth to the toilet. It was epic. 

    We also tried beans and pineapple, bread and palm oil, boiled egg with pepper, salt and Maggi. Sometimes, I drank garri with sardine inside.  

    ALSO READ: 9 Life Hacks From Boarding House That Helped Us Survive in Nigeria

    “We ate termites and raw corn” 

    — Ogochukwu*, 21

    Termites were a special delicacy for students in my boarding school. 

    We’d catch them by putting bowls of water underneath the lights they were swarming around, before going for prep at 7 p.m. When we came back at 10 p.m., there would be a lot of termites in the bowl. For the next two hours, we would sit and stick long broomsticks through them and wrap in newspapers. In the morning, after breakfast, we’d head to the kitchen and roast them over coal, garnished with salt and pepper. We ate the termites while drinking garri. 

    We also ate raw corn. My school was a federal government college, so there were many farms owned by staff and people who rented land around it. We were prohibited from going to the farms, but we always snuck in to steal corn. We’d try to roast it at night over the coal iron in our room, but the smell always spread immediately, so we couldn’t roast for more than five minutes. This meant we always ended up eating it raw, but the corn was very milky and juicy, so we didn’t mind. I’m sure this contributed to my appendicitis a few months after graduating.

    “Fasting made me eat eba and beans” 

    — Fatimah*, 20 

    During Ramadan, we ate beans and eba for Iftar in the evening. Due to the fasting, we had to combine our afternoon meal(beans) and evening meal (eba and soup). It actually tasted nice. There was also this meal called “fetch”, which was basically eba mixed with sardine or geisha. We ate it like eba and soup. It was very disgusting, but we ate it almost every weekend because we had no choice; the school food was awful.

    “We made our sandwiches with groundnut, milo and milk”

    — Ismaila*,23

    On Sundays, our school served us bread, butter, Milo and milk for breakfast. And my friends would make a sandwich out of all the ingredients, including Milo and milk, then add sardine. Jollof rice with boiled eggs and fruits was served for lunch one particular day. I’d kept my breakfast till after lunch because I wanted to add the boiled eggs and groundnuts to my sandwich. So it became a sardine, butter, milk, Milo, groundnut and boiled egg sandwich. I loved it. 

    ALSO READ: 10 Nigerians Talk About Traumatic Experiences They Faced In Boarding School

    “We created our own cereal by mixing cornflakes, garri and sardine”

    — Itohan, 21

    We mixed cornflakes with garri, sardine and pepper. It was a delicacy we ate once in a while, usually on Saturdays. Some of my roommates would do just garri or cornflakes, but I liked to do both. And it had to be Nasco because it tasted better than any other cereal. Everything about the combination was elite; the crunch, the flavour, the pepper… they mixed well to make such a delicious meal. I still eat it at home once in a while. 

    “One of the best things we had was Milo candy”

    —  Kai, 22

    Back in school, we mixed ground cabin biscuits with butter, milk and sugar. If we had money, we’d also add chocolates. It tasted amazing, much better than school food. We also did this thing where we’d put Milo in sheets of paper and place it under our mattresses for at least a day. The next day, it would be really hard like candy. We loved it so much because we didn’t have access to candy or anything sweet in our school, except when people’s parents visited. We also mixed Tasty Time and Nutri C to make soda during hostel parties. It tasted great back then, but it’s not something I’d drink now. 

    ALSO READ: Ranked! Boarding House Meals

    Dammy Eneli

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  • 8 Meals Nigerian Mums Should Feed Their Babies

    In this Nigerian economy, I can’t understand how and why mothers are feeding their babies Cerelac. First, it’s expensive (if you can afford Cerelac, you’re part of the rich we should be eating). Secondly, with the type of energy babies expend, there’s no way a mix of wheat and milk is enough for them. They need to eat proper food like the ones I’ve listed below. 

    Akara and Bread

    Image source: Maryam’s Nitty Wall

    Only feed this to them on Saturday mornings. So they know it’s part of a routine. It’ll even be better if you give them a few chores to do before they eat. That way, they’ll learn about delayed gratification and reward for hard work. 

    Jollof rice 

    Image source: Premium times 

    If there’s one significant meal babies must eat, it’s Jollof rice, the meal that brings Nigerians together across all tribes. It’s a part of our traditional and pop culture. Feeding them white man’s food (Cerelac) is almost disrespectful when they’ve not had Nigeria’s staple. Also, they need context to properly fight the Jollof wars when speaking to their baby friends from other African countries. 

    Amala, ewedu and gbegiri 

    Image source: African Foods Export 

    We’ve been blessed with an elite meal, amala, and I don’t see why babies should be deprived of such a blessing. Also, how else will they understand the jaiye lifestyle if they’re not eating one of the significant Nigerian party foods?

    ALSO READ:  I Liked Eating These Meals as a Child, But Now I Hate Them

    Rice and stew 

    Image source: Spark Recipes

    This is to remind them that there’ll always be rice at home. Let them get used to the taste of what that feels like. So when they tell you they want to eat burger, and you say, “there’s rice at home”, they won’t give you an attitude. 

    Beans 

    Image source: Bella Naija

    Do you not want your babies to grow? So feed them what their body needs. But let it be ewa agoyin with fried plantain and two ponmo because that’s the complete package. You can blend the ponmo if you want. 

    Akpu 

    Image source: Cookpad

    Akpu is to teach them that life can be hard sometimes. If you’ve eaten akpu before, you’ll know what I’m talking about. From the name alone, you can already tell how hard the food is. 

    Isi ewu 

    Image source: The Guardian Nigeria 

    This teaches them that they’ll always be the head and not the tail in life. And it’s also sort of a prayer that they’ll be G.O.A.Ts in whatever they do. 

    Creamy pasta 

    Image source: No spoon necessary

    Babies need to eat creamy pasta to be bad bitches when they grow up. The type who goes to Ilashe beach on weekends and knows how to enjoy life. 

    Semo

    Image source: Cookpad 

    Only feed them this meal once. So they’ll know to avoid it for the rest of their lives. Nobody deserves to eat semo, not even crackheads babies. 

    ALSO READ: Nigerian Women Need to Leave Pasta Alone and Try Out These 8 Other Meals

    Dammy Eneli

    ,
  • What Your Favourite Pastry Says About You

    The food you eat says a lot about your personality. So do the snacks. Let me tell you what your favourite pastry says about you.  

    Egg Roll 

    You don’t like stress at all. You live a very simple life surrounded by work and a few friends. You’re the type who doesn’t tell people where you live because you don’t like people in your house. When people try to make plans with you, you say you’re busy. Meanwhile, all you want to do is stay home and press your phone while watching TV.

    Fish Roll 

    Every time you’re being ratioed on Twitter for saying one foolish thing or the other, you don’t care; you like going viral. You use an iPhone with those bunny ear phone cases. You’re always making mouth and acting tough like you can fight. But when it actually comes down to fighting, you’re nowhere to be found. 

    Meat Pie 

    Just like the meat pie, you’re filled with many great talents. There’s nothing you can’t do, and that’s why you’re a hustler. Back in school, you were the one collecting all the awards on prize-giving day. You’re the type to have one thousand and one jobs while complaining about being stressed out, and your social life is almost non-existent. You have a Twitter account with 200 followers you only use once every three months. But you post everything going on in your life on your Whatsapp status. 

     ALSO READ: These 7 Things Will Slap Inside Meat Pie

    Scotch Egg

    You’re always saying you’re for the streets. Meanwhile, you catch feelings every two market days. Your timeline is filled with relationship posts, and you stop yourself from commenting “God when” on all of them. All the genders are scum, and you don’t want to chop breakfast, but you’re tired of being the one they give the phone to when it comes to taking couple pictures.

    Chicken Pie 

    You live a soft life. Your motto is “Any money wey I get like this, na enjoyment. No worry about my future.” By the week after payday, your money has finished, and you’re complaining about having just 1k in your account. But somehow, you still find ways to go out and chop life.

    Doughnut 

    You’re a chronic procrastinator. The sexual tension between you and doing things at the last minute is quite strong. You tell your boss, “You’ll get it tomorrow” when you haven’t even started the work. And you’ve been saying you’ll go to the gym for the past six months, but you don’t even remember where your gym clothes are.

    Cinnamon Roll 

    You’re a Nigerian parent. You go to bed at 9 p.m. and wake up at 4 a.m. Amongst your friends, you’re the one always advising everybody and watching out for them. When you all go out, you’re the designated driver who takes care of everyone while they get stupid drunk. To be honest, you’d have preferred to stay at home, video calling your long-distance lover.

    Sausage Roll

    You plan and organise every second of your life. And once anything doesn’t go according to plan, you start shedding tears. You’re constantly trying to get your friends and colleagues to be organised too, but they always end up frustrating you. You like to budget all your money, and half of it goes to savings and investments. You may be broke now, but you’ll be rich in the future, and that’s all that matters. You look at all your friends spending their money now and shake your head in sadness, thinking about how they’ll beg you when you’re rich.

    ALSO READ: What Does Your Favorite Beer Say About You?

    Dammy Eneli

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  • Nigerian Women Need to Leave Pasta Alone and Try Out These 8 Other Meals

    Ask a Lagos woman what she wants to eat and her first answer is “I don’t know” Her next answer is, “… pasta.” I need us to take a break for a bit and try out other meals. Beginning with meals from our beloved Nigeria, I’ve listed eight foods from different tribes across the country below. Try them and your life will never be the same. 

    Ekpang Nkukwo

    Ekpang Nkukwo is cocoyam porridge, and it’s one of the traditional meals of the Akwa Ibom and Cross River State people. It’s made with freshly grated cocoyams wrapped in tender cocoyam or ugu leaves. It’s a meal that can be very stressful and time-consuming to make yourself. So take advantage of your next lunch/dinner and order ekpang, instead of ordering pasta for the third night in a row.

    Gbanunu soup

    Gbanunu soup is a traditional soup from Ondo state. There are no words to describe how delicious this soup is. As I’m thinking about it, I’m looking for where I can order a plate today. Eat gbanunu with pounded yam or pupuru (cassava flour) which tastes just as good as any other swallow out there. 

    Ji mmiri oku 

    You’re ordering pasta when there’s hot, sweet yam pepper soup? Ji Mmiri Oku is a traditional meal of the Igbo people, and it tastes amazing — Yam pepper soup that’ll take you to a different realm entirely. Eat it on a rainy, cold day and experience it hit you differently. 

    An interesting fact: in Igbo land, this is usually the first dish given to a woman immediately after childbirth. It’s mostly prepared by her mother, who comes to take care of her for the first few months after childbirth (Omugwo).

    RELATED: We Ranked Nigerian Pepper Soups From Worst to Best

    Abanga 

    Abanga is unripe plantain pottage. A traditional dish of the people of Brass and Nembe in Bayelsa state. Eat it with palm oil and pepper soup with an assortment of seafood inside, if you want maximum enjoyment.

    Miyan taushe soup

    Food from northern Nigeria is not as appreciated as it should be, and we need to change that because they taste great. Miyan Taushe (pumpkin soup) is one I wish I could eat as often as possible. There’s just something about the flavours in the soup that makes it taste as great as it does. It may have something to do with the combination of pumpkin and groundnut. The soup can be eaten with tuwo (rice fufu) or any other type of swallow. 

    Ukang ukom 

    Another plantain porridge meal, but Efik edition. If you ever go to a Calabar wedding, you’d find this meal being served there. It’s how Lagos people see Amala; a ceremony isn’t complete without Ukang Ukom on the menu. This shows you how special this food is and why more people need to eat it. I encourage (read as: order) you to enter a Calabar restaurant today and order this. Stop looking at the creamy pasta on that restaurant’s menu that will most likely only come with only two tiny pieces of chicken. 

    ALSO READ: These Are the Easiest Nigerian Soups to Make, According to Ifeoluwa 

    Afia efere soup

    My first experience with afia efere (white soup) was when I visited a friend’s house and found her eating it. It’s a soup popular with the Efik people. Since that day, I haven’t looked back. Eat afia efere today and neither will you.

    Ofe Onugbu 

    This is a very popular Igbo soup made from bitter leaf and cocoyam paste. It’s so interesting how something so delicious comes from something so bitter. I recommend this soup to anyone and everyone. To enjoy it well, eat it with very hot eba. 

    Now that Pasta has been dealt with, let’s look at 7 Meals You Can Eat on Sunday Instead of Rice

    Dammy Eneli

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  • 9 Low-Budget Recipes You Can Make With Ingredients in Your House

    Nigeria is hard these days, and things are getting more expensive day by day, but man must chop. These nine recipes work with tight budgets and ingredients you already have in your kitchen or can easily be sourced.

    Plantain fufu 

    When you’re tired of eating staple swallows like eba, pounded yam, etc. It’s also a lot healthier and lighter. Enjoy with your favourite soups. 

    Find the recipe at Chef Lola’s Kitchen

    ALSO READ: What’s The Best Way To Eat Plantain? We Ranked Them All

     Garri chips 

    An interesting way to eat garri that I totally recommend. It’s not every time you have to drink garri and groundnut. Sometimes you have to try things outside the box. I doubted the recipe until I tried it, and I haven’t looked back since then.

    Find the recipe at Ife Grace

    Plantain and ice cream 

    I’m including this recipe here because I’ve tried it and it bangs. There’s a whole video of me trying it, and I was shocked at how good it tasted. The recipe isn’t complicated; just fry plantain and eat with vanilla ice cream. 

    Find the recipe on TikTok

    Spaghetti Jollof 

    I like to believe that spaghetti Jollof is a staple in every Nigerian home. In my house, we make it at least twice a week, because it’s easy to make and doesn’t cost much. But just because it’s quick to make doesn’t mean you should cook it anyhow. Here’s a recipe that’ll have you feeling bougie. 

    Get the recipe on Zikoko

    Agege bread French toast 

    I know this may sound strange, but the French toast slaps much harder if made with agege bread. It slaps even without nutmeg or vanilla extract.

    Get the recipe at Dobby’s Signature

    ALSO READ: Which Bread Is the GOAT? We Ranked Them All

    Egg toast 

    This is one of the ways Indians like to make bread and eggs. It’s sort of the same way you make French toast, but you add a few other ingredients like tomatoes, onions and pepper. 

    Get the recipe at India Healthy Recipes

    Yamarita without flour

    Most people include flour when making yamarita, but I just found out that you can do without the flour and it would still taste great. I’m very excited about this because I stopped making yamarita due to the high price of flour, but now I’m back. These are the things I love to see. 

    Get the recipe from Adanna’s kitchen

    Plantain chips 

    I genuinely thought the process of making plantain chips was a long, difficult one until I read the recipe. Please why have I been buying plantain chips instead of making them in my house? 

    Get the recipe at Precious Core 

    Jollof rice with corned beef

    The day my mother cooked this at home, I wondered what was going through her mind. Why did she think mixing rice and corned beef was a thing to do? Then I tried it and all my doubts went out the window. Try this recipe out today. 

    Get the recipe at Telande World 

    Also try out some of the chocolate recipes: 8 Homemade Chocolate Recipes for World Chocolate Day

    Dammy Eneli

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  • These Are the Easiest Nigerian Soups to Make, According to Ifeoluwa

    If there’s one thing we can all agree on, it’s that Nigerian soups are elite and amazingly diverse. Our soups deserve a place on the coat of arms — they’re that good.

    According to Ifeoluwa — a food blogger who believes food is an art that shouldn’t be limited to rules — one of the best things about Nigerian food has to be how easy it is to make these staple soups. Anyone can make them.

    1. Egusi soup

    This is one of the easiest Nigerian soups to make, but the method differs depending on tribe. 

    Ingredients for three to four servings

    • 1 cup of ground egusi
    • Assorted meat
    • Blended pepper mix (onions, red bell peppers and scotch bonnet peppers according to your tolerance) 
    • 2 -3 tablespoons of palm oil
    • 1 onion (sliced)
    • Half a cup of ground crayfish
    • 1 tablespoon of locust beans (optional)
    • 1 cup of chopped vegetables (ugu, uziza or bitter leaf)
    • Salt and seasoning

    Preparation

    I prefer the frying method, so here’s how it’s done:

    • Fry the onions and pepper mix in hot palm oil. You may add the locust beans at this point as well. Also, start boiling your meat in a separate pot, so it’s ready when you need them.
    • Mix the ground egusi and crayfish with a small cup of water into a bowl, just enough to form a thick paste, and add to the soup base. 
    • After frying the paste for a bit, add the boiled meat (including the stock), and allow it to cook well. Don’t forget to season to your taste.
    • Add your chopped vegetables of choice and allow to cook for about three minutes.
    • Enjoy your soup with whatever side you want. No stress.
    demarcated white party plate with egusi and meat in one section and wheat in the other section

    2. Okro soup (Ila Alasepo)

    Okro soup is another versatile meal that won’t have you spending time in the kitchen. 

    Ingredients for two servings

    • 1 small bowl of okro
    • Boiled meat and stock
    • Blended pepper mix 
    • 2 -3 tablespoons of palm oil
    • 1 tablespoon of locust beans (optional)
    • 1 cup of chopped vegetables (ugu or bitter leaf)
    • Salt and seasoning

    Preparation

    My trick for ensuring my okro soup stays slimy is adding a little water when blending, or using a food processor. Here’s my process:

    • Fry your pepper mix in hot palm oil and add your meat, stock and any other protein of choice, to form a soup base. Season to your preference, and let it cook for about ten minutes.
    • Add the okro. I like processing some of the okro to ensure it’s slimy, and chopping the rest to add a crunchy texture to the soup.  
    • Let it cook for about three minutes then include your chopped vegetables — ugu, bitter leaf or whatever you prefer. 
    • Your soup is ready!
    white ceramic serving bowl of okro & vegetable soup with multiple pieces of boiled chicken

    3. Ogbono soup

    Ogbono is another Nigerian fave that can be made in many ways. But good ogbono starts from your vendor — some ogbono soups taste soapy because the seeds weren’t great. It’s important to choose trusted vendors.

    Ingredients for three to four servings

    • Half a cup of ground ogbono
    • Assorted  meat
    • Half a cup of ground crayfish
    • 2 -3 tablespoons of palm oil
    • Scotch bonnet peppers
    • 1 cup of chopped vegetables
    • Salt and seasoning

    Preparation

    This is my trick to achieving smooth, tasty ogbono:

    • Mix the ground ogbono and hot palm oil into a paste, and set aside. This will help dissolve the particles until it’s smooth. 
    • Next, boil your meat and season appropriately with pepper, salt and stock cubes. Igbo Nigerians use a lot of crayfish, which gives the soup a great taste.
    • When properly cooked, add your ogbono paste. You might not need any more palm oil.
    • Pour in your chopped vegetables of choice. 
    • You’ll notice your soup is smooth and slimy, plus you didn’t spend all day in the kitchen.
    shallow brown ceramic bowl of ogbono soup with a lot of meat pieces

    RELATED: You Should Try These Nigerian Foods

    4. Efo riro

    Efo riro is a Yoruba staple, most people who grew up Yoruba already know how to make.

    Ingredients for two servings

    • One bunch of vegetables (efo shoko or efo tete)
    • Boiled meat and stock
    • De-boned panla fish
    • Half a cup of ground crayfish
    • Pepper mix
    • 1 onion (sliced)
    • 3-4 tablespoons of palm oil
    • 1 tablespoon of locust beans 
    • Salt and seasoning

    Preparation

    • Start by blending your pepper mix into a coarse texture.
    • Fry the blended pepper with hot palm oil, onions and locust beans.
    • Add crayfish, meat, the de-boned panla fish, seasoning and some water to cook it properly. Efo riro needs very little water.
    • For your vegetables, use efo shoko or efo tete. You may either blanch your vegetables or wash them at least thrice, before chopping them. Once this is done, pour into your soup base.
    • To retain the greenish colour of your vegetables, it’s advised to cook for just two to three minutes.
    white serving bowl of efo riro soup with a lot of meat pieces

    5. Ewedu

    Ewedu is pretty straightforward and typically paired with stew. It’s also a Yoruba staple. 

    Ingredients for two to three servings

    • One small bunch of ewedu leaves
    • 2-3 tablespoons of ground crayfish
    • 1 tablespoon of locust beans 
    • Salt and seasoning

    Preparation

    Blend the leaves before or after cooking. I prefer blending them after. 

    • Rinse the leaves and boil in water for a bit to make them tender. I like to cook it on low heat to ensure it stays slimy. 
    • Once tender, take them out and blend. Don’t blend for too long so it’s not super smooth.
    • Transfer back to the pot (on low heat), and add the locust beans, ground crayfish and seasoning to your taste. 
    • Your ewedu is ready!
    white spoon scooping steaming hot ewedu from an orange shallow cooking pot

    NEXT READ: These Nigerian Meals Are Perfect for the Rainy Season

    Tife Oni

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  • These 6 Nigerian Meals Should Be on All Owambe Menus

    Before you read this article, we want you to rid your mind of whatever you think you already know about food. This is not your regular food article; this is a fight for inclusion.  

    Owambes are great but everyone knows the highlight is the food, which is why no one forgets the party where they didn’t get served or the one with the unchewable meat. 

    If food is such a big deal, why do we limit ourselves to a few key players? Why not include more of these six Nigerian dishes on our party menu? All foods matter after all. 

    Ewa Agoyin

    Nigerians are finally beginning to see the light because a few owanbes already have this on the menu, but we can do better. Since people are always complaining about eating too much rice, it would be nice to have ewa agoyin and soft agege bread as an option.

    Indomie

    Nigerians are in a secret relationship with indomie because why is it okay to fall on it when sapa has you in a chokehold or when you’re too hungry or lazy to spend more than 15 minutes cooking, but draw the line when it’s time to show it off on your special day?

    They make it work in boarding schools, so clearly it can work for owanbe parries.

    RELATED: All The Many Times Indomie Saved Us  

    Bread and Tea

    The more you think about it, the more you see that bread and tea are perfect as both starter and main dish. Sometimes, people just want something light, so instead of having them pick at the food and end up wasting it, how about you try bread?

    Akara and Pap

    Before you raise your eyebrows just imagine this as a starter — you’re munching on hot akara and drinking your pap while waiting for your main dish. In this rainy weather, what could be better?

    You might end up falling asleep at the event, but even though! 

    Bole and Groundnut

    Have you ever had bole and groundnut before? The combination is orgasmic, so what are we saying?

    Garri Salad

    We’re not saying there’s anything wrong with salad, but we are Nigerians forgusake, we’re supposed to stand out and nothing does that better than infusing our salad with garri.

    The Nigerian dream

    ALSO READ: 13 Pictures Of Food That Will Make You Miss Owambes  

    Meyimi O.

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  • I Liked Eating These Meals as a Child, But Now I Hate Them

    These days, I can’t eat yam pottage even if they pay me to eat it, but I loved the meal as a child. Apparently, I’m not the only one who liked eating certain meals as a child but ended up disliking them as an adult. We’re many, so here’s what some of us have to say.

    “I almost died from stealing meat”

    — Isaiah, 26 

    I hated the fact that my father used to get three pieces of meat while the children got only one. One day during the summer holiday, my mum cooked soup for dinner. After she had served everyone, she went outside to pack the clothes from the line. I stood up from the dining table and told my dad I was going to get water. The truth is, I was going to steal extra meat from the pot. What I didn’t know was that the soup was still very hot. At 10 years old, it was a struggle to reach into the pot and so it fell on me —a full hot pot of ogbono soup fell on top of my body. My mother beat the hell out of me for wasting the food she just cooked. The incident scarred me so much, so I’ve not eaten meat since then.

    “I can never drink tea again”

    — Tife, 23

    I used to like tea as a child. Now tea, coffee, hot chocolate and all their cousins disgust me. I now hate tea because I once left my cup of tea under the fan and it formed this really thick upper layer which was gross. I’ve not had tea in like ten years and I don’t intend to, ever again.

    “The way my brother ate peanut butter disgusted me”

    — Oretha, 25 

    I used to like peanut butter a lot when I was younger. I started hating it at 13 because I couldn’t stand the way my brother used to eat it. Every opportunity he got, he was eating peanut butter. He had it with bread, crackers, popcorn etc. It was too much abeg. He made eating peanut butter disgusting. How do you eat peanut butter and garri? Is that normal human being behaviour?

    “I think I overdid it with chocolate”

    — Ifoghale, 22 

    My dad came home from this long trip to Europe with a lot of chocolate. For months, I was eating chocolates that never seemed to end. I think I overdid it. Now I see chocolate and I’m like, “Meh. Not interested.”

    RELATED: Eat These Delicious Foods And You Won’t Gain Weight. We Promise

    “I prefer my garri without sugar now”

    — Asa’ah, 32

    I used to like garri with sugar as a child. Now if there’s sugar in garri, I won’t touch it with a 10-feet pole. Sugar in garri just doesn’t sit well with my stomach and taste buds anymore, and I don’t know why.

    “Picking fish bones pisses me off”

    — Pharoah, 28

    As a child, you could use boiled fish to kidnap me. Now, anywhere I see it, I run away. The reason I no longer like it may be petty, but fish has so many tiny bones and having to pick them off pisses me off. I cannot suffer to make money and still suffer to eat my food just because I’m picking bones out. I already pick out the onions in food, I can’t give myself more work with fish.

    “Coconut makes me sick”-

    — Dammy, 25 

    I hate everything made with coconut, except coconut rice, for some reason. One day in secondary school, I ate so much coconut candy I got nauseous. Since then, I cancelled coconut for life.  

    RELATED: 6 Nigerian Meals That Are Perfect for the Rainy Season

    “I ate pounded yam throughout my first year in Uni”

    — Mobolaji, 24

    Not that I liked pounded yam growing up, but it was something I could eat. Going to uni in Èkìtì changed everything. I ate it every other day in my first year, and by my second year, I stopped eating it entirely.

    “Beans almost made me take a shit in my pants”

    — Francis, 27 

    I liked eating beans until the day I was almost disgraced in school. They served beans during lunch and, I don’t know how they cooked it but it gave me the worst running stomach. It happened during extra-curricular while I was playing football. It hit me quick, the poo almost dropped in my boxers while I was running. That was the last time I went anywhere near beans. 

    “My mother used Jollof rice to apologise after beating me” 

    — Mary*, 30

    I hate jollof rice now because as a child, my mother would beat me when I misbehaved, and then use Jollof rice to apologise. She’d call me downstairs and put a plate of jollof rice and meat in front of me and walk away. That was her apology. Sometimes she cooked the food, sometimes she bought it. Jollof rice gives me PTSD.

    ALSO READ: 7 Childhood Snacks You’ll Miss if You Grew Up in Northern Nigeria

    Dammy Eneli

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  • We Ranked 10 Nigerian Rice Meals From the Best to the Most Unnecessary

    Rice is a staple meal in Nigeria. Our Jollof rice has travelled far and wide and caused debates across countries, most popularly Nigeria vs Ghana Jollof wars. Although rice is a multitalented bad bitch, it’s not all hits with rice meals. Some meals are glorious, while some others are bland at best. 

    BEST

    1. White rice and stew

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    The ability to slap in your natural state with little to no assistance is why rice and stew reign supreme. Rice and stew can be eaten at any time of the day with any type of protein and still bang. The only time rice and stew isn’t a hit is when the stew isn’t well prepared.

    2. Rice and beans 

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    Rice and beans cooked together is one of God’s best ideas given to man. There’s no stew type with which rice and beans can’t be eaten. This meal is a queen, and that’s on periodt. 

    3. Concoction rice

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    Concoction rice is the middle child that knows how to get shit done and comes through when necessary. When you’re low on cash, this meal is your knight in shining amour.

    4. Jollof rice

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    Jollof is in third place because although it’s a delicious meal, it’s not always gotten right. Also, the fact that the spelling and preparation of this meal are inconsistent has taken away some points from the greatness — For starters, wtf is “jellof”?  

    5. Native rice

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    A true bad bitch is what native rice is. The taste of native rice will stay on the tip of your tongue, leaving you wanting more of it. God bless the person who created this recipe.

    6. Ofada rice and ayamase/ofada sauce 

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    Ofada rice is best eaten with ayamase sauce, and even tho ofada sauce works. The issue with ofada sauce is the overpowering peppery taste when it’s not cooked right when more attention is given to the pepper than the sauce.  

    RELATED: 6 Nigerian Meals That Are Perfect for the Rainy Season

    MOST UNNECESSARY

    1. Pepper rice

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    Special shoutout to Yoruba women and Babcock University students for inventing this meal. As the name implies, it’s peppery rice, and it’s best eaten with peppered turkey or snail. 

    2. Coconut rice

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    Coconut rice is any type of rice you like cooking with coconut milk. This one just likes to be extra, always doing the most. It’s delicious, though. The problem  s its oversabi. 

    3. Banga rice

    This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is co2VGerY663x5AA92i-oBzjn27oxU4cwazcOgNkU-EtY6jfNsJoOoB0jIPW0gqFX1cfT2Mah8ebSOjn3jqVpRIMsqGq6Tf74KsITucLk_flp03Q0uZb_eV0cfWaNM2PHP3X7w1959qt9EZMCug

    Banga rice bangs like a banger. It’s a pretty delicious meal, but it’s something we can do without. Banga soup works best with swallow, and mixing it with rice feels like overkill sometimes. 

    4. Fried rice

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    Fried rice is coming in last place because no real baddie needs as much assistance as it does. So fragile and so high-maintenance. Ain’t nobody got time for dat. Fried rice requires all the condiments in the world and still manages to spoil with the slightest excuse. If you’re not going to see the break of dawn, why are you so extra and want everything to be put inside you? 

    ALSO READ: 7 Meals You Can Eat on Sunday Instead of Rice

    Ibukun

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  • These 7 Foods Always Taste Better at 2 a.m.

    If you’re like me, and you like to enjoy the frequent occasional meal in the middle of the night, you can relate to the guilt that comes with it. But why feel guilt when you’re enjoying life? No, you’re not eating like a thief. You just like enjoyment.

    These are the 7  foods that slap better at 2 a.m.

    Eba 

    Eba is a meal you can eat at anytime of the day. But eating it at 2 a.m. when your body is in rest mode makes it settle better in your stomach — especially when paired with hot Egusi or Okra soup.  

    Noodles

    Eating noodles with two boiled eggs and one sausage at 2 a.m. will change your life. And the great part is, it’s always very easy to cook and you also don’t have to wash too many pots. Enjoyment.

    RELATED: Eat These Delicious Foods And You Won’t Gain Weight. We Promise

    Custard 

    With plenty of milk and sugar, else it won’t bang. If you’re struggling to sleep at that time, make yourself some custard. The warmth and sweet taste of it will knock you out.

    Bread and butter

    Eating just bread at that time slaps, especially when you squeeze it in your hand before putting it in your mouth. But if you now add butter and sardine? Hay God, words can’t describe the deliciousness! I know Sardine is expensive but remember, you came to this life for enjoyment. 

    Leftover restaurant food

    Fajita fixings and flour tortilla in a carryout box

    Leftover restaurant food is what you told yourself you’ll eat for breakfast or lunch the next day but somehow ended up eating at 2 a.m. Not because of hunger, but because it was just on your mind.  And the food always tastes so much better after microwaving at midnight than when you eat it in a restaurant. 

    Plantain and beans

    Frying plantain in the middle of the night is stressful, but the reward is worth it. Midnight is when you can fry and eat as many plantains as you want without anybody begging you or asking you to fry for them. 

    Meat

    Going to the kitchen to take meat from the pot of soup or stew is only something you do in the middle of the night. Because the fear of being caught is part of the ingredients. Just make sure the pot cover doesn’t fall and make noise, else its mission failed — even if you live alone.

    ALSO READ: You Should Eat These Seven Foods Chilled as a Treat for Your Tastebuds

    Zikoko is launching a new series where we explore those friendships, familial and romantic relationships that are no longer sailing.

    Dammy Eneli

  • 6 Nigerian Meals That Are Perfect for the Rainy Season

    The rainy season is upon us, and unlike other seasons of the year, it’s an exceptional one. This season comes with the lethargy that makes you want to lay in bed all day and do nothing. What we eat during this time directly impacts our productivity and need for companionship. 

    These Nigerian meals are perfect for this rainy season.

    Eba

    The rainy season is the perfect season for sleeping, and eba is the ideal meal to induce sleep. When you’re done eating the eba, you won’t remember you’re alone in bed. The type of eba doesn’t matter.

    Beans 

    Picking beans is an effective way to keep your productivity levels up during the rainy season. We usually want to lay in bed under our sheets doing nothing when it rains. Make it a habit to pick and cook beans to help keep your energy up. This theory has been tested and trusted. 

    Pepper soup 

    Nigerian mums and aunties have sold us that pepper soup helps with cough and cold. You want to enjoy the weather without catching a cold because of small rain.

    RELATED: How to Make Pepper Soup

    Boiled yam and ofada sauce 

    Yam and eggs is an everyday meal, but boiled yam and ofada sauce is a special meal for rainy days. Imagine having some boiled yam with ofada sauce with hot milk and milo on a rainy morning. You can kiss your tasks goodbye for the day, but do your tasks matter?

    Amala, ewedu, gbegiri and goat meat

    Amala is the bad bitch of Nigerian meals. Come rain, come sunshine, she’s the ultimate companion. You can trust amala to stick with you like a friend who stays closer than a brother through the rainy season. For premium enjoyment, buy your amala from your favourite bukka. 

    RELATED: A Step-by-Step Guide to Loving Amala

    Your partner 

    Please, eat your Nigerian partner out till their eyes roll to the back of their head. It’s the least you can do for them on a rainy day. 

    ALSO READ: 9 Things Single People Can Do During ‘Weather for Two’

    Ibukun

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  • These Meals Just Taste Better as Leftovers

    Sometimes you’re not in the mood to cook. And you’re also not in the mood to spend money on food, because you don’t have money in the first place.  What’s left is for you to open your fridge and check what you can re-heat. To make it easier for you, we’ve listed seven foods that taste just as good when eaten as leftovers. 

    Jollof Rice 

    Of course, this is number one on the list. Jollof rice will always bang no matter how many days it’s been kept in the fridge. In fact, the longer it stays, the better it tastes. That’s why it’s a bad bitch.

    Banga Soup 

    Banga soup bangs —pun intended — when you have to re-heat it. This is because by the second day, all the juices in the soup have settled and everything has mixed well. Because let’s be honest, Banga soup was never created to be eaten on the first day.

    Ofada Stew

    Keeping ofada stewand re-heating it days after makes the pepper settle well and come out stronger which then makes the rice —or whatever you’re eating it with— taste better. And this is why it’s a top tier leftover food, especially if you’re a fan of spicy food. 

    RELATED: QUIZ: What Celebratory Food Are You?

    Spaghetti 

    Stir-fry spaghetti that is re-fried in a pan tastes amazing. It tastes just as if you just made it. If it’s plain spaghetti you have leftover, simply mix it with any stew you have while heating and you have yourself some Jollof spaghetti.   

    Eba 

    Wait, before you cancel me, hear me out. You can eat eba the next day and it’ll still slap just as if you just made it. There are two ways this can work: re-heat the eba in a microwave, or make sure your soup is really hot and eat it with the cold eba. You’ll thank me for this. 

    Yam

    The only thing about eating yam as a leftover is that it should be eaten the next day. If not, the yam becomes too hard to eat. There’s no need to waste that extra yam that you couldn’t eat. Eat it with eggs or stew the next day. 

    RELATED: We Ranked These Yam Dishes From Worst To Best

    Fried plantain

    This only works if you’re warming the plantain in a microwave and eating it with any type of rice afterwards. That’s when it hits. 

    Ogbono 

    Ogbono tastes the same no matter how long it’s been left over for. And that means you can always count on it whenever you’re thinking of what to warm and eat. 

    Suya

    In fact, I’ll argue that leftover suya tastes better than suya you buy and eat on the same day. There’s just something different about the way the meat tastes after it’s been kept in the fridge. It’s hard to explain. It then tastes so much better when you add it to noodles. 

    Beans

    Porridge beans is another meal that can be eaten as a leftover no matter how long it has stayed in the fridge. That’s why that a lot of Nigerian households use large pots to cook beans so that if there’s nothing else to eat, there’ll always be beans. And it would still bang. Just eat it with plantain or agege bread. 

    ALSO READ: Eat These Delicious Foods And You Won’t Gain Weight. We Promise

    Dammy Eneli

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  • A Step-by-Step Guide to Loving Amala

    Amala, ewedu, and gbegiri, also called “Abula”, isn’t a meal that exactly enjoys the best PR. In fact, it’s one of the most slandered meals on Obasanjo’s internet, especially by people who didn’t grow up in Western Nigeria. 

    However, according to the Zikoko Bureau of Imaginary Statistics (ZBIS), a lot of people fall in love with the Western Nigerian staple once they give it a chance. Having met and spoken with people who overcame their initial disgust to fall in love with abula, we have decided to draft a step-by-step guide on how to love and enjoy the meal.

    1. Don’t judge a book by its cover

    How to fall in love with amala

    You know that looks can be deceiving shey? I mean, look at the disappointment that is strawberries and Lagos Island at night. Some of you have said that abula isn’t particularly big on aesthetics, but what it lacks in looks, it makes up for in taste. 

    2. Be brave

    How to fall in love with amala

    Yes, we admit that deciding to start eating abula as an adult is no easy feat, especially as you may have some issues with its UI. But you have to be brave in your resolve. You have to be determined to try, against all principalities and powers preventing you from giving this meal a chance.

    3. Be open-minded

    How to fall in love with amala

    Being open-minded is not just about understanding the opinions of others. You have to be able to give things a chance regardless of what other people have said about them. Gather courage and look beyond all the amala slander that flies into your face every time you log in on Twitter. 

    4. Therapy

    How to fall in love with amala

    For people who have been scarred by traumatic images of amala and ewedu on the internet, it may not be easy for you to come up with the psychological resolve to eat it on your own. You may also not be mentally ready for the shock you’re about to experience when the delicious taste of abula hits your taste buds. So you may need to see a shrink to mentally prepare you for what’s to come.

    5. Divine guidance 

    How to fall in love with amala

    Some of you may have never tasted abula because you lack the spiritual foresight to know the good things of this life. So you may need to contact your spiritual leader after you’re done with therapy.

    With these few guidelines we have provided, we hope you now have the tools to execute judgment upon the next bowl of abula that comes your way.

    How to fall in love with amala

    ALSO READ: Interview With White Amala and Black Amala: “Hating Amala Is A Character Flaw.”

    Victor Daniel

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  • Aspiring Nigerian Chefs, Do You Really Need All These Spices?

    Thyme, curry and crayfish are the staples of a typical Nigerian kitchen. If you have any more spices, are you sure you’re not doing too much?

    1. White pepper

    If it’s not red, is it really pepper? White pepper is the spice keeping creamy pasta and seafood dishes around. Think of it as a version of dried red peppers with a more pungent flavour and smell. The only upside is the fact that it’s hotter than black pepper. But why do you have white pepper in your house when you’re not opening a restaurant? 

    2. Black pepper

    Black pepper isn’t even spicy, so why this? What can it do that fresh red pepper and suya pepper can’t achieve? If you have black pepper in your kitchen, you know it’s just occupying space on the shelf. How many times have you even used it? Don’t lie.

    RELATED: Here’s Proof That Nigerians Will Put Pepper in Anything

    3. Cinnamon

    First of all, cinnamon overpowers everything it touches. I know cinnamon toast lovers will come for me, but all you need is fluffy agege bread with akara. Cinnamon is an overkill, please

    4. Nutmeg

    I’ll excuse the people using this for pastries. But it’s the people that add nutmeg to jollof rice for me. Why? Nutmeg is sweet and completely throws off the taste of smoky jollof. Keep it strictly for pastries, please.

    RELATED: 10 Food Combinations Nigerians Need To Normalise

    5. Turmeric

    Apart from staining every single thing it touches, what is the purpose of turmeric in your kitchen? 

    6. Cumin

    If you have curry powder, then you’re not missing out on cumin. I agree it adds a nice smell to food, but are we eating aroma? No. So, please dear.

    7. Oregano

    Oregano is like the minty version of thyme, so having it in your house is simply oversabi.  You don’t need it.

    8. Rock salt

    Why do you need rock salts when it tastes like regular salt? It’s basically an overpriced version of salt, and in this economy, what are you trying to prove? 

          QUIZ: Score 9/11 to Prove That Your Food Isn’t Tasteless

    Ortega

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  • Butter and a Few Friends Fight for Bread’s Attention

    Everyone knows Bread is a bad bitch. She can be a bad bitch either alone or with company, so it’s no surprise when everyone tries to be Bread’s lover. She’s seen jam, beans, butter and even pap compete to be her primary companion. 

    Today, Bread invited all her admirers to debate on why she should spend the rest of her life with one of them. 

    Jam

    Bread, you are sweet, but with me, you’re sweeter. I know I was created with you in mind, my sweetness was made for yours and my creator made me because you exist. I can’t imagine a life without you and I don’t want to spend the rest of mine without the food that works best with me. Ignore what the rest of them say because when you’re with me, you’re your best self. 

    Butter

    I know I’m multifaceted, but I spread better when I’m with you. We work together, I in you and you in me. Issues may arise from me seeing other foods, but you’re the one I want to continue spreading on for the rest of my life. Yours, butter. 

    Beans

    Butter said it’s multifaceted, but I’m the Beyonce of meals. I have been with you in different forms and I have weathered many storms with you. I’ve been with you as cooked beans, as ewa agoyin, as moin-moin, as akara and as ekuru. The list goes on and on. You too, see how many good and tasty things we’ve achieved together. I’m with you and for you and I look forward to being yours for as long as I live. 

    Fried Egg

    I am risking my relationship with Yam to be here today. Bread, if you don’t accept me, I’ll have nowhere to run to. You know we shouldn’t be doing this 

    Mayonnaise 

    To be very honest, I don’t know what I am doing here. I heard people shouting Bread and I decided to follow them. All I know is that people keep trying to force a relationship on us and I have been encouraging them. Even I know that we don’t go well together. I am a colonizer and that’s what I’m about to do here. 

    Stew

    I’ve been by your side before the rest of them existed and I have to admit that I’m a little heartbroken that you’re letting the others get to your head. Contrary to what you think, I am not your bro, I know my siblings and they know me. I want to be your lover, Dip yourself into me and experience hot,  spicy, unspeakable joy. 

    Peanut Butter

    I saw jam coming here and decided to join them. All I want is for Bread, jam and I to be a throuple and I’ll be ok. 

    Indomie

    I think I’m lost. Where is the way out of here?

    *Oats and avocado are still at the door knocking, but Bread has heard enough*

    Ibukun

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  • Nigerians Need to Start Eating These 8 Things With Garri

    Since the beginning of time, garri and groundnut have been saving the lives of broke Nigerians. While this combination bangs with ice-cold water after a long day, here are eight other things you need to try out for an even better experience with garri. 

    1. Nutri-c

    Make it cold. If you already put milo or milk in your garri, this is something you need to try. Nutri-c made everything better in secondary school, so why not? It’s simply flavoured water and will elevate the taste of garri. 

    2. Ice cream

    Think of it as a creamier version of garri and milk. You’ll never look back. 

    3. Boiled eggs

    Ghanaians are already on this combo with waakye, so what’s stopping you? If you can eat garri and akara, then boiled eggs are a more proteinous option. 

    4. Coffee

    It’s a quick snack before work if you’re too lazy to cook. Think of it as a version of cornflakes you don’t have to be worried about getting soggy. 

    5. Honey

    For one, it’s healthier and still sweet, so you’re already one step ahead of diabetes. We have to look out for the older millennials and fit-fam people that still love to enjoy garri.

    6. Sausage

    It’s also the same price with groundnut if you’re buying from a mallam, 50.  So you don’t have to break the bank for enjoyment. A substitute that tastes just as good as chicken suya when you’re broke. 

    7. Fried grasshopper

    What’s the difference between this one and  dried fish? Besides, it’s a cheaper option because you can catch it yourself and fry. You don’t need to spend any extra money when you’re already broke.

    8. Sardine

    Fish is fish. Sardine is too expensive for anyone to assume it’s SAPA making you drink garri. This is how the elite do it.

    Ortega

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  • These 7 Things Will Slap Inside Meat Pie

    Meat pie is perfectly imperfect because it doesn’t contain these 8 ingredients. If we fix up and start including these ingredients in meat pie, it’ll finally become elite. You’re welcome. 

    1. Yam

    What are potatoes if not yams yassified? Anything potatoes can do, yam can do. Yam even has an upper hand because it can choke you and I’ve never seen potatoes do that, please. 

    2. Beans 

    Knowing that this is already a thing in Warri just shows that they have good taste. Elevate your taste buds today and add this in the next time you’re making meat pie. 

    3. Scent leaves 

    I feel like there’s nothing that scent leaves can’t make better. They can give you clear skin, make the quality of your life better, attract money to you —  we’ve tested, tried and and now trust our findings, don’t worry. 

    4. Eja kika 

    `Just let us put you on to good things. There’s fish and then there’s eja kika. It’s not the same thing I promise you. The texture, the taste — especially when boiled — just imagine it inside meat pie. Something divinely inspired this recommendation.  

    5. Okra

    For one, okra is vegan, so you’ll be elevating your lifestyle. You can boil it, fry or bake it, and it would still slap. What’s a little sliminess for you, anyway?

     6. Akara

    What’s better than beans? Fried beans. Meat pie stuffed with akara is basically agege bread and akara that studied abroad anyway. 

     7. Atarodo 

    Just slice raw and add them to the pie so that we can actually taste the heat, please. Meat pie is too sweet please, we should humble it with a little atarodo. 

    Malakai Bassey

    , , ,
  • QUIZ: Which Popular Nigerian Food Are You?

    Which popular Nigerian food are you? Take the quiz to find out.

    Mariam Sule

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  • QUIZ: Make Some Food Choices And We’ll Tell You How Much To Spend On A Date

    Wondering how much you should spend on a date? Take this quiz and we’ll tell you:

    Miriam Onyemenam

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  • QUIZ: Only Psychopaths Will Not Get To The End Of This Food Quiz

    Those weird food habits you have are attributes of a psychopath. Take this quiz and expose yourself:

    You’re making noodles and you want to have it with egg. What do you do?

    Miriam Onyemenam

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  • QUIZ: Only Foodies Can Guess What These Nigerian Foods Are Made Of

    You eat different meals everyday but do you know what they’re made of?

    Find out in this quiz:

    Miriam Onyemenam

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  • QUIZ: Only Foodies Can Unscramble These Nigerian Soups In 2 Minutes

    How many Nigerian soups do you know? Let’s see if you can unscramble these ones:

    It can also be called “Ofe Akwu”

    The soup that leaves traces everywhere

    Which Yoruba sweetheart is this?

    This soup can be taken alone or with extra ingredients

    This soup is more popular in the West

    Definitely the most popular soup in Nigeria

    No hint dear

    Which Urhobo delicacy is this?

    This soup doesn’t taste like its name

    You should know this

    Which Southern soup is this?

    Which Northern soup is this?

    Pepper soup’s evil twin

    Miriam Onyemenam

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  • How To Know You Are A Certified Foodie

    We all love food, but some of us love food more than others. Here a list of ways to help you know if you love food more than the average person.

    1. You comfortably eat in your dream.

    You love food so much, you don’t care if it’s your village people that are feeding you in your dream. Once it’s good food, you’ll eat it.

    2. You spend your last cash on food.

    HOW TO MAKE PERFECT SHAWARMA | CHICKEN SHAWARMA - SISI JEMIMAH - YouTube

    It is shawarma lovers that do this the most. Nothing can separate them from the love they have for shawarma.

    3.You know what you are going to eat on Friday evening from Monday.

    You don’t ever want to be caught hungry, so you plan what you are going to eat from Monday to Friday. Extra foodie, if you meal prep. 

    4.You know the menu and price list of every restaurant in Lagos

    It’s remaining small for you to have the chef on speed dial. You know every meal and the days they serve them on.

    5.You know all the amala spots and the name of their owners.

    The waiters have started putting an appropriate prefix before your name, they serve you first even if there are 10 customers before you. You don’t even have to tell them your order, they already know it.

    If you’re into memes, check out this mind-blowing Nigerian meme site we created. Click Here

    6.Your notes app is filled with recipes.

    Shredded Cheese Clip Art - New Recipe Clipart, HD Png Download , Transparent Png Image - PNGitem

    No recipe goes unsaved, all that’s left is for you to start your own food blog with those recipes you have.

    7.Your Instagram and YouTube suggestions are mostly cooking videos.

    390 Tv Cooking Show Stock Photos, Pictures & Royalty-Free Images - iStock

    Other people watch interesting videos to spark joy, you watch cooking videos. Both the one you can cook oh and the one you can’t cook, you watch everything.

    8.Your friends come to your house to eat.

    From jollof rice, to eba, to semo, you have it. Your friends can trust that you’ll always have food in your house.

    9.Your stomach doesn’t have opening or closing time.

    Every time is time for food for you. You don’t care about abs.

    10.Your mantra is ‘‘chop life’’

    The actual line is ‘‘chop life make life no chop you’’ and you are taking that mantra very seriously. We love the dedication to enjoyment. 

    Continue to enjoy your life please.

    Ibukun

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  • QUIZ: What Nigerian Pastry Are You?

    Do you love Nigerian pastry? Yes? No? Whatever your answer is, we’re sure you’ll love this quiz.

    Take this quiz and we’ll tell you what Nigerian pastry you are.

    Tuntamilore

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  • 10 Nigerian Foods You’ll Miss A Lot When You Travel Abroad

    Yes, japa-ing is the latest thing. You wake up one day, pack your load and leave Nigeria and its many deficiencies alone. That’s commendable. But then, there’s one thing no one prepares you for, and that is the number of Nigerian foods you will miss when you are out of the country.

    We made a list of some of those foods:

    1. Ewa agoyin

    Ewa Aganyin - Ewa Agoyin - My Active Kitchen

    Yes, you can cook it at home. But can you, really? Can you replicate the taste? The sauce, the soft yams that are sometimes paired with it?

    Dear Opebi residents, the Ewa Agoyin you eat is cooked close to a canal | InsideMainland

    Can you get this peculiar flavour?

    2. Suya

    LMAO. There’s no other way to say this. Suya comes with the Nigerian package. You see those TikTok videos of people making suya? Welp. If it is not suya, it cannot taste like suya.

    3. Ofada rice

    You know, you can easily cook this on your own. But can your neighbours withstand the smell? Sometimes being a good neighbour means that you have to let go of some of the things you enjoy eating.

    4. Abacha

    Can you find Abacha hawkers in Canada or New York?

    5. Efo riro

    There are a lot of plants in the abroad, but I’m sure none of those people have a farm for Efo soko or Efo tete. So, what’s going to happen?

    6. Kilishi

    Kilishi – Eazy Mart

    This one can be managed by shipping. Your people in Nigeria can ship it over to you.

    7. Agege bread

    Sure, you can get proper (and better) American bread. But can it ever be like Agege bread?

    8. Bole

    Port Harcourt people will feel this the most. But even those who are not from Port Harcourt will also know what it feels like to be in a country where bole is not readily available.

    9. Amala and abula

    Gbegiri - Abula (How to make Gbegiri) - My Active Kitchen

    We know this can be cooked at home. But can anything beat the local abula in a local buka? The heat of the buka, the sweat, the… *whew*

    10. Okpa

    CoalCityConnect on Twitter: "So you are supposed to eat one everyday for one full week. Which would you choose. Retweet for Okpa Like for Moi Moi. #CoalcityConnect… https://t.co/rpVNw9sQqJ"

    If you’re a foreigner visiting Nigeria for the first time, this one is for you:

    Dear Foreigners, Here Are 15 Foods To Try When You Visit Nigeria

    Kunle Ologunro

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  • Dear Foreigners, Here Are 15 Foods To Try When You Visit Nigeria

    Yes, Nigeria is renowned for her Jollof. But there is a lot more food in Nigeria that foreigners do not get to taste when they visit. We are changing that. If you are visiting Nigeria, please request for any of the foods on this list and experience the wonders of the motherland.

    Here are 15 foods to try when you visit Nigeria:

    1. Pepper Soup

    Nigerian pepper soup

    This one will awaken your tongue. Be careful with it though; three spoonfuls in and you’re already turning red in the face and asking for more water. If you can ace it though, there’s no Nigerian meal that will ever seem daunting to you.

    2. Egusi

    egusi soup in Nigeria

    One of our many best offerings in terms of Nigerian food. This goes well with any swallow you desire. Don’t eat it with a spoon or a fork. Use your fingers to get the complete essence.

    3. Puff Puff

    This is a light snack, yet very filling. It’s soft and fluffy. You’ll always want more.

    4. Eba and okro soup.

    foods to try in Nigeria

    There’s okra, and there’s okro. If you are visiting Nigeria for the first time, ensure you try okro soup and eba. Both meals combine to give you a taste experience that is completely out of this world.

    5. Pounded Yam and Efo riro.

    foods to try in Nigeria

    Pounded yam is referred to as the king of swallows. When we crown a food “King”, then you know that food has earned it. If Pounded Yam is the King, then Efo Riro is the worthy Queen. A combo of these two is an experience that will make you apply for a Nigerian passport.

    Read: We Ranked Nigerian Swallows From Worst To Best

    6. Suya.

    foods to try in Nigeria

    This is different from the grilled meat you’re used to. The difference is the Nigerian flavour, and the secret “night time” ingredient added. If you ever touch down in Nigeria, wait till “night time” and then approach the maisuya for a taste. You will know it when it touches your tongue.

    7. Ofada rice and stew.

    foods to try in Nigeria

    This is our local rice, so you can expect to get that local flavour that cannot be replicated elsewhere. You definitely don’t want to miss out on that.

    8 Food Decisions You Need To Make This New Year

    8. Moi-moi.

    foods to try in Nigeria

    This is made of beans, and can be eaten as a snack or accompanied with other meals like rice. Whichever way you choose to eat it, bear in mind that you will definitely crave more.

    9. Afang soup.

    foods to try in Nigeria

    If you find yourself in the South-South side of Nigeria, please do not miss out on Afang soup. The mix of ingredients — beef, fish, palm oil, crayfish, pepper, Shaki, waterleaf, okazi leaf, onion, periwinkle, and may others — is something you don’t want to miss.

    10. Beans and plantain.

    foods to try in Nigeria

    We’re aware that you have your type of beans. That is why this is on the list. You need to taste Nigerian beans whenever you visit Nigeria. You get extra points if it is Ewa Agoyin and Agege bread.

    11. Ogbono.

    foods to try in Nigeria

    This is draw soup for the culture. Top-tier and elite. You can try it with it fufu, or eba.

    12. Gizdodo.

    How To Make Delicious Gizdodo- The New Face Of Small Chop

    This is a combination of gizzard and fried plantain. The taste speaks for it.

    13. Ekpang Nkukwo.

    foods to try in Nigeria

    Another South-South delicacy, this meal is made from freshly-grated cocoyam with a number of other ingredients added for unique flavour and taste.

    14. Fried yam.

    fried yam - foods to try in Nigeria

    This is a perfect introduction to yam for people who haven’t tried it before. Here’s the truth: You’ll enjoy it completely.

    15. Masa.

    masa - foods to try in Nigeria

    These rice cakes are a Northern delicacy. If you ever stop by the North in your visit to Nigeria, this is one of the foods to try. Please ensure you don’t miss out. You will definitely want more.

    nigerian-swallows-Zikoko | Zikoko!

    7 Types Of Swallow And The Soups They Go With

    Kunle Ologunro

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  • 5 Nigerian Dishes That Are Scams

    The food business in Nigeria is steady booming, and it should because Nigerian food is amazing. But I can’t help but think about some foods that are obviously taking advantage of this and scamming us. I’ll call them out.

    1. Nkwobi

    If you approach a “plate” of Nkwobi for the first time thinking you’ll get an endless supply of meat, because the plate looks deep, you’ll be disappointed because you’ll soon realize that the food actually starts from the top of the wooden contraption. Scam!

    2. Asun

    Is asun goat meat sprinkled with onions, or onions sprinkled with goat meat? Absolutely important question.

    3. Cinema Popcorn

    This is how popcorn works: You put heat on corn, then you throw in some sugar, and some butter and you have popcorn. That’s how the people in the streets make it. That’s also how the cinema people make it. So why is cinema popcorn so darn expensive??

    4. Point and Kill

    Point and Kill sellers play on the murderous desires of man to gain profit. Other than that, there’s no reason for catfish to be so expensive.

    5. Peppered Snails

    Snails will literally come to your doorsteps and lay there. If you try to chase them, they won’t run. If you try to kill them, they won’t resist. Why are peppered snails so expensive?

    David Odunlami

  • 13 Eating Habits Of A Nigerian Sociopath

    There are many sociopaths walking amongst us, and it’s not usually easy to identify them. So, in a bid to help weed them out, we’ve gathered 13 eating habits for you to look out for. If you know anyone that does more than 7 things on this list, it’s time to call the police.

    1. They eat the first and last slices of bread.

    There is no reason for any sane person to do this.

    2. They prefer firm dodo to soft dodo.

    If you prefer the first picture to the second, just report yourself to police.

    3. They eat shaki with their eyes wide open.

    Don’t you fear God.

    4. They actually drink yellow garri.

    You’re clearly a cultist.

    5. They put their soup and swallow on the same plate.

    WHAT IS THE REASON?

    6. They genuinely like semo and wheat.

    How many people have you killed already?

    7. They still dip their bread in tea.

    At your big age?

    8. They actually enjoy eating fruitcake during Christmas.

    NOTHING should have these many raisins. EVER.

    9. Their favourite Indomie flavour is NOT the green one.

    You cannot be trusted.

    10. They choose to eat Good Morning cornflakes.

    Is your tongue broken?

    11. They think puff puff is the best part of small chops.

    HOW?

    12. They eat raw tomatoes unprovoked.

    Please, go get help.

    13. They eat agbalumos like this:

    NerdEfiko

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  • 8 Nigeria Breakfast Ideas To Try While On Lock Down

    One of the things you realize when you start living on your own is that figuring out what to eat is as much a chore as actually making it. But we’re here with a simple list to make it easier for you during this lock down. Here are 8 simple Nigerian breakfast ideas to try while you self isolate.

    1. Good old bread and tea.

    zikoko- nigerian breakfast

    Easy to make, no more than 5 minutes spent in the kitchen while at it.


    2. Because bread goes with anything, bread and egg.

    With tea on the side of course.

    3. Okay so there’s no bread in the supermarket close to you, don’t panic yet, try pancakes.

    zikoko- nigerian breakfast

    Especially if you are self isolating with your partner and want to give them a breakfast in bed treat.


    4. Plantain and egg.

    zikoko- nigerian breakfast

    It looks complicated but it’s not. The hot oil does half the job for you. Of course you have to be attentive to be sure it doesn’t become an overkill.


    5. Garri for the culture.

    zikoko- nigerian breakfast

    Another effortless very Nigerian breakfast choice.


    6. If you’re a man or woman of culture, eat your swallow in the morning.

    Sure it would knock you out but who cares.

    7. Pap.

    And because we are not trying to start another custard VS pap debate, we will simply put custard as the next item on the list.

    8. Custard.

    And here’s pretty custard on the list. But seriously, how is there even a debate between these two? One is clearly outside the other’s league. No, don’t answer that. We are not trying to start a debate remember?

    While you are here we have a list of 4 Nigerian shows on Netflix you can binge on during this lock down.

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    Blessing Onyelobi

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