Nigerian churches

Nigerian churches organise a lot of church programs. But half the time, a lot of these programs are often targeted at women who end up praying for things that men ought to be praying for too. It’s time to revise that. Nigerian churches need to start organising these programs for men.

1. Prayers against barrenness.

Barrenness is not always a woman’s problem, so how come a lot of programs are targeted at them while the men are simply flexing? Let both of them go to a fertility clinic, and if there’s to be a church program, let the man and woman attend.

2. Prayers against marital delay.

Somebody needs to tell Nigerian churches that men also experience delay in getting married. It’s not every time you see a 30+ woman that you must drag her to your church. You see that your neighbour that is 30+? Drag him too. Our God answers prayers.

Read: 7 Ways Nigerian Men Can Remain Virgins

3. Prayers against the strange man that wants to destroy their marriage.

Yes oh. MenDem are outside looking for marriages to destroy and people’s wives to seduce. Men need to start praying against these evil forces. A suggested prayer point: “My father my father, any strange man that wants to collect my wife from me, destroy him by fire.”

4. Deliverance from marine spirit, papawater spirit, and the spirit of seduction.

Why are fair-skinned men left to roam about without being delivered? If fair-skinned women can be accused of possessing seductive spirits, belonging to the marine kingdom and mamiwater coven, surely men too should be delivered from the same spirits. Abi them tell una say male witch no dey?

Them tell una say men no dey seduce person?

5. Seminars and conferences on how to be a good husband and father.

Here, they will teach them how to bake, how to decorate the altar, how to arrange the house and read the ‘male version’ of Proverbs 31 to them.

Or, they will teach them how to keep their bodies firm for their wives, how to secure their marriage using sexy apparels that are holy and edifying, as well as how to enter the War Room when they sense the devil’s machinations in their marriage.

Let us stand up and share the grace.

You should read this if you haven’t:

7 Things A Married Woman Must Do After Cheating On Her Husband

Kunle Ologunro

December 6, 2020

Man Dem

Nigerian churches, Religion, Sarcasm, satire
If there’s something Daddy G.Os don’t joke with, it’s in how they like to stand out. Whether it’s by their hairdo or their catchphrases, you’ll recognise them when they come through.

Can somebody shout Hallelujah? If you check very well we can bet that you have at least one relative who is a pastor. As different as all our Daddy G.Os are, we couldn’t help but notice a couple of things most of them seem to have in common.
Many of their churches run either universities or secondary schools or both.

It’s not as if it’s just for-profit o, it’s because education is also their calling.
They are all published authors, some of them even run their own media houses so they can efficiently distribute the word of the Lord.

So multi-talented. Can only be God.
Some of them have private jets.

You might think this is a luxury, but it’s not. The word of God is timely and can’t be stuck at Muritala Muhammed, like the rest of us.
Has your Daddy arrived if he doesn’t have a campground along an expressway

Who cares if you get stuck in the unbearable traffic, receive your blessings from there. Amen?
Some of them are worth millions of dollars.

They don’t have to explain the source of their income to you, because how do you explain a net worth of over $150 million?
Divine abundance, brothers and sisters. Next year is your year.
In order to become a successful G.O. humility is a vital ingredient.

Just think about it, which G.O. do you know who isn’t humble?
Their churches have several branches including some in the overseas. They also broadcast nationally and internationally some even have TV stations.

Is your work truly complete if you haven’t given it international exposure?
If you say ‘tithe’ in front of a mirror three times, a Daddy G.O. will appear.

They are only trying to help your life, your prosperity is tied to your tithes. If you don’t tithe you can’t blow.
Their wives are usually also pastors.

You can’t find a Daddy G.O. without a Mummy G.O.
What’s your favourite thing about G.Os and did we leave anything out?

Toketemu Ohwovoriole

July 31, 2018

Oldies

Adeboye, daddy g.o, Fatoyinbo, General overseer, Nigerian churches, Nigerian pastor, Olukoya, Oyedepo, Pastor
Going to any type of church in Nigeria, you will definitely meet these sets of people. They sometimes make going to church fun and sometimes a little frustrating.
1. The Annoying Usher

They want you to walk all the way to the front to sit down, won’t leave you alone all service, always check to see if you are using your bible app on your iPad and tap you when you are taking a nap. Please leave me alone now.
2. The Oversabi Choir Member

They can sing perfectly off key, always try to drown out the other choristers voices, wear the most ridiculous outfits and are there for show off. Madam, church not project fame.
3. The Prayer Warrior

This is the person that prays aggressively consistently. Inside the lions den kind of prayer, If you stand close you may lose a tooth.
4. The Weirdos

These ones never close their eyes when prayer is on. To make matters worse they can maintain eye contact like it will take them to heaven. Oga, Jesus is not on my face now.
5. The Town Crier

They have the loudest voices. Whether it is the choir singing or during prayers you can hear them from miles away. Bros/Sis take it easy.
6. The Jonahs

These ones are always sleeping. No matter the event, opening prayer, sermon, tithe. You will find them nodding their heads and almost falling off their chairs. Kuku stay at home and sleep.
7. The Commentator

“Yes Pastor”, “preach on”, “Speak the word sir”. Sir/Mam, the Pastor knows his job now. Church, not football field.
8. Drama Queens

We don’t know if its legit. Small prayer, small breeze the pastor blows inside microphone they are rolling from the altar to the back door and back.
9. Holiest Holly

These set of people make you feel like the devil. They are perfect or act like they are perfect. Making you wonder if it’s the same heaven you are trying to get it.
10. The National Stadium Gele Women

These people came to church to ensure you don’t see a thing. With geles looking like Teslim Balogun stadium, and they know where to seat to block the view of the whole of the congregation behind them. Blocking someone’s blessings. Stress.
11. Fashion Police

They are in church to critique what everyone is wearing. “See sister Linda carrying a fake Hermes bag oh”, “why is brother kcee dressed like a traffic light?”. And they themselves… Please God accepts us as we are.
12. The Dancehall Person

These set of people came to church to bust the new dance steps they learnt all week. Once it’s time for thanksgiving just let them be, they will dance their hearts out then take a nap during the sermon.
13. The Wale Adenuga’s

Testimony time and ten minutes into their testimony they say “in a nutshell” and carry on for ten more minutes. Testimony time not “Oh Father Oh Daughter” seasons 1-5.
14. The False Prophets

“Sister Toke, I saw a vision and God said I should marry you”, “brother Paul, I think God has put you in my path”.

Tobi Smith

March 25, 2016

Oldies

Churches, Nigerian churches, Religious

1. Prayers against barrenness.

2. Prayers against marital delay.

Read: 7 Ways Nigerian Men Can Remain Virgins

3. Prayers against the strange man that wants to destroy their marriage.

4. Deliverance from marine spirit, papawater spirit, and the spirit of seduction.

5. Seminars and conferences on how to be a good husband and father.

7 Things A Married Woman Must Do After Cheating On Her Husband

If there’s something Daddy G.Os don’t joke with, it’s in how they like to stand out. Whether it’s by their hairdo or their catchphrases, you’ll recognise them when they come through.

Many of their churches run either universities or secondary schools or both.

They are all published authors, some of them even run their own media houses so they can efficiently distribute the word of the Lord.

Some of them have private jets.

Has your Daddy arrived if he doesn’t have a campground along an expressway

Some of them are worth millions of dollars.

In order to become a successful G.O. humility is a vital ingredient.

Their churches have several branches including some in the overseas. They also broadcast nationally and internationally some even have TV stations.

If you say ‘tithe’ in front of a mirror three times, a Daddy G.O. will appear.

Their wives are usually also pastors.

What’s your favourite thing about G.Os and did we leave anything out?

1. The Annoying Usher

2. The Oversabi Choir Member

3. The Prayer Warrior

4. The Weirdos

5. The Town Crier

6. The Jonahs

7. The Commentator

8. Drama Queens

9. Holiest Holly

10. The National Stadium Gele Women

11. Fashion Police

12. The Dancehall Person

13. The Wale Adenuga’s

14. The False Prophets